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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello madam I am 37 year old married since last 7.5 years.I have a baby of 14 month . Suddenly after born of my baby my in-laws have started interfering in our live.They are mentally torturing me like hell.I love my child very much.My wife has taken my child by telling lies and not coming back .I had not done anything neither there is any problem but my mother in law is forcing my wife to get divorce and most probably not allowing her to come back.what should i do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For the sake of the child, try to convince your wife to come back. There has been some misunderstanding perhaps that has taken on a new level which must be sorted out.
Ask an elder member in your family to speak to her parents who need to understand that their grandchild will be the one to suffer through all these ego clashes.
I am sure that you have not done anything BUT it's possible that your wife has misunderstood something or has some sort of a fear that possibly is making her do all of this. Even if it's been taught by her parents, she obviously as a mature woman and mother will know that every decision will impact the child. So, act quickly and have someone talk to her parents soon. Approach her only after that initial talk is done. I hope that will clear all the misunderstandings if any!

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

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Relationship
I refer to my previous mail question for which you have given me a general answer. To make you understand more, i take care of my twin babies most of the time in a day / every day. Both my Wife & in-laws avoid stating all sorts of stories and at the end of the day bringing up my twin kids falls on me and i don't even get a reliever for few minutes to take rest. Both of them, most of the time try to find fault with me, in me and try to blow up the issue. Till now, i have made myself very clear from all these issues and as you said, i tried to spend time with my wife, my in-law try to interfere with us and pulls out my wife with silly reasons like not well, body pain, house hold work. She never let us at least talk for few minutes with my wife and even suggested to my wife to part with me and they (my wife & In-laws) will stay away leaving me and my babies. After so much tolerance, i too told them to leave the babies with me and go as you wish. Now tell me sir, what should i do now???
Ans: I understand that you're facing a challenging situation in your family where you're primarily responsible for taking care of your twin babies, and your wife and in-laws seem to be creating obstacles and conflicts. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration for the well-being of everyone involved. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you feel. Express your concerns and emotions calmly and clearly. Let her know that you want to work together as a team to take care of your children and maintain a healthy relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If communication with your wife doesn't yield positive results, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance and facilitate productive discussions.
Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Explain to them that while you appreciate their concern, you and your wife need some private time together as a couple, and it's essential for the well-being of your relationship.
Share Responsibilities: If possible, work out a schedule with your wife to share childcare responsibilities more evenly. This can help both of you get some much-needed rest and time together.
Stay Calm and Patient: Dealing with family conflicts can be stressful, but try to remain calm and patient. Avoid engaging in heated arguments or confrontations. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions.
Consider Legal Advice: In extreme cases, if your relationship with your wife continues to deteriorate, and you fear for your rights as a parent, you may want to consult with an attorney to understand your legal options regarding child custody and visitation.
Self-Care: Don't forget to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Caring for twin babies can be exhausting, so make sure to prioritize your well-being. If possible, seek support from friends or family members who can give you some respite.
Remember that every situation is unique, and it may take time to find a resolution. It's essential to maintain a calm and respectful approach throughout the process. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a harmonious family environment that supports the well-being of both you and your children.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I had married a person who has an affair with the girl but before marriage he never told me about it .When I was 7 th month pregnancy I got to know about it but I support him and forgot all the things .After birth of my baby boy My mother in law's nature change suddenly.She used to torcher me , fighting with me .Even she called my parents 2 to 3 times come and take your girl.My husband supports her mother.6 months back she throw me out of the house with my baby .I am at my parents place.No one call me to ask for baby and provide financial support even .What should I do.Should I apply for maintenance for me and my baby.
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It's a difficult situation, but you have rights and options available to you.

Given the circumstances, seeking maintenance for both you and your baby seems like a reasonable step to ensure your financial stability and that of your child. You can consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law to understand the legal options available to you and to guide you through the process of applying for maintenance.

Additionally, it's important to consider your emotional well-being during this time. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can provide comfort and assistance. Seeking counseling or therapy can also be beneficial in processing the emotions and stress associated with your situation.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and you have the right to take steps to protect yourself and your child. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support as you navigate through this difficult time.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I got married to the person who was behind me for years. I always considered him as my friend and supporter even after knowing his intention. My mom kept advising me we should go behind that person who cares and loves us. I obeyed her. Soon after things went into proposal mode his family started demanding for dowry and other stuffs. My friend was not from a well fed family which I was not aware. They lied to is they are very rich, hence they need what the demanded since the marriage news was widw spread wit no options we arranged and gave. My friend and his mother brain washed and convinced us to agree for this marriage. Even since I got married my husband and his mother is ruling on me and family. It was late when we got to know that they have been lying to is on their assets. Now when we ask them they deny and keep harassing me. My family got fed up of these fights started maitaining distance and since I Don want to trouble my divorced mother I stop complaining about the issues I am facing. My in-laws demand increases day by day. My mother-in-law is a mother of two kids a son and a daughter but everytime she tortures me and her son is quiet most of the time. When responsibility comes she supports her daughter and makes us to take responsibility which is not fair. Responsibiloty is parallel and must be shared. I am not well, my husband doesn't even give me money or take me to doctor. I am been told marriage means providing food and shelter. Please advise me what shud I do I am fed up
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Basically you have been cheated; period!
What do you with even a basic thing like being cheated at a shop? Do you actually keep the product OR return it?
Yes, relationships are not like that BUT do understand that your marriage has been nothing but a transaction with mean minded people out to destroy you and your peace of mind.
There are no children in the equation so far...so do know you are free to take a decision. Today, it's harassment and giving you no money, tomorrow who knows what else!
Do you not see that they have begun to make you depend on them for the basic things? This is how it all begins before it gets into other shades of harassment which I do not want to speculate.
Put yourself first; be selfish and think about what to do next to actually live a peaceful and carefree life like the way it was before marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
Relationship
How can an elder man attract young women
Ans: Attracting someone, regardless of age, begins with authenticity and mutual respect. If an older man is interested in forming a connection with a younger woman, it’s important to focus on qualities that foster meaningful relationships. Younger women are often drawn to the stability, confidence, and life experience that an older man can bring to the table, but the key lies in presenting these qualities without pretense or arrogance.

Confidence rooted in self-awareness and emotional maturity can be particularly appealing. This doesn’t mean showing off achievements or wealth, but rather displaying a genuine sense of self and clarity about what you want in life. Emotional maturity—expressed through kindness, patience, and good communication—creates a safe and engaging space for meaningful interactions.

Equally important is the ability to connect on a deeper level. Shared interests, respect for her individuality, and a willingness to engage with her worldview go a long way. Relationships thrive when both individuals feel valued and heard. An older man should approach a younger woman with curiosity about her experiences and aspirations, while also offering his perspective in a way that enriches the connection rather than dominating it.

It’s also crucial to approach such a dynamic with an understanding of potential societal perceptions. While age-gap relationships are increasingly accepted, they often come with assumptions or judgments. The foundation of a strong relationship in this context lies in ensuring that the connection feels equal, mutually respectful, and free of power imbalances.

Finally, maintaining physical and emotional health contributes to overall attractiveness. When a man prioritizes his wellbeing, it not only enhances his confidence but also signals that he values himself and his relationships. Attraction in any relationship is multifaceted, involving both external qualities and the inner richness of character.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024
Relationship
I was in a relationship with a boy(he is 35 yrs old man, and a lawyer but not practising in a court, he had a lot of relationship during our relationship and after break up , He had changed 4, 5 women or used them physically) for 3 years. It has been three-four months. We are not in a relationship. We have broken up. I told him to delete our personal pics and videos. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either. I told him that since we don't want to be together, we don't have a future together, then delete them. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either and I want him to delete them. Who knows what will come to his mind in the future and what will happen. If we don't continue, he has no right to Keep the pics in your mobile, whatever video is personal to us, don't delete it and don't blackmail me either. I am not able to understand what should I tell him, although I have requested him a lot to delete it but he is not doing it either, He told me that I have kept ur pics and videos So that I cannot complain against him in future. so what should I do, please guide me. I know I had made a huge mistake to love him and gave him right to keep personal pics or videos..
Ans: At this point, it’s essential to protect your emotional and mental health while addressing this issue. You might consider seeking support from someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, to share this burden. Talking to someone who knows you and your situation can provide comfort and practical guidance.

If he continues to refuse, you may need to explore your legal options. Many countries have laws that protect individuals from having private photos or videos kept or shared without their consent. Taking this step might feel daunting, but it could give you a sense of empowerment and security. It’s not about revenge or escalation; it’s about protecting yourself and asserting your right to move forward without this hanging over you.

On an emotional level, remind yourself that you are not defined by this relationship or the choices you made while in it. You trusted someone who didn’t honor that trust, but this doesn’t diminish your value or strength. It’s natural to feel regret, but you deserve compassion from yourself as you work through this.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to seek help—whether that’s legal advice, emotional support from loved ones, or even professional counseling to navigate the stress and anxiety this situation might be causing. The most important thing now is to take steps that protect your peace of mind and ensure your future isn’t weighed down by his actions.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |687 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello Team, Hi Dev Sir, I am 43 years old employed. Here are my financial stats: Loan - 35 lacs Saving- 27 lacs 1 house bought in 2009 at rent (14000/month) and valued at 60 lacs Another house which I live is valued at 90 lacs Monthly income after tax - 2.5 lac Monthly expenses- 1 lac PF/gratuity - 16 lacs MF - 2 lacs NPS - 4 lacs What are my options to retire after 5 yrs with good corpus?
Ans: Hello;

What is your monthly contribution to EPF, NPS and MFs?

Please clarify so as to advise you suitably.

Thanks;

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3918 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

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Career
Sir i am currently in class 11 th and i just want to prepare for jee mains and advanced 2026 exam so give me some roadmap to achieve and also guide me for computer science
Ans: Shreya, I trust that you have already enrolled in a coaching center, whether it be online or in person, and have finished your eleventh syllabus. (1) If you have not yet created your own short-notes for the 11th syllabus that has been completed, prepare it and continue to revise them every three days until 2026, even after you have commenced studying the 12th syllabus in December 2024. (2) Review the questions that you have incorrectly answered or skipped in mock tests conducted by your Coaching Center and/or practiced independently. (3) In order to increase your rank/percentile by targeting computer science at a reputable college/institute, prioritize mathematics (although all three subjects are equally important). (4) You should be thorough with NCERT books, particularly those pertaining to chemistry, in conjunction with the materials provided by your coaching institute. (5) Have 1-2 reference books for each subject. Not exceeding two. (6) Review the questions that were incorrectly answered or skipped in your mock and practice exams and retake the test. It is advisable to maintain a distinct note-book for these types of questions, which should include answers and elucidating notes, in order to review them repeatedly for all three subjects. (7) Download the SYLLABUS of JEE Main 2025 (available on Google by searching for "JEE Main Information Bulletin") and print it out, as there will be no significant changes to the syllabus in 2026. Maintain it on your study table and continue to update the 11th syllabus chapters and concepts that you have covered to date by marking them with a checkmark. This will boost your confidence if you continue to update the same till November 2025. (8) A slight difference in Syllabus might be visible when you acquire the 2026 JEE Main / JEE Advanced Syllabus. The same can be resolved within 15 days to one month in 2025-26. (9) Increase your productivity by studying for 45 minutes to 1 hour, taking a 10-minute break, and then continuing for 45 minutes. (10) Take a 2-3 minute break every 45 minutes while practicing questions, whether offline or online. This break should consist of closing your eyes and taking long breaths to enhance your concentration and mental capacity. (11) Additionally, it is recommended that you acquire the 20-40 PREVIOUS years question paper book of JEE (Main & Advanced) from Amazon. Arihant's, Disha's, or MTG's publications are recommended. Once you have finished reading a chapter, practice and complete it to determine the extent to which you have comprehended the concepts and to identify areas that require improvement. (12) By October 2025, ensure that you have reviewed significantly more than 90% of the previous years questions. Your confidence will be further bolstered by this. (13) After the mock test is completed at your coaching center, clarify all incorrectly answered or ignored questions and continue to revise and practice them, as these types of questions will significantly disrupt your performance in the actual JEE. (14) If you are a regular school student, inquire with your class teacher about the minimum attendance requirement as outlined in the Board's regulations (State, CBSE, ICSE, etc.). Utilize the remaining 15% by taking time off and preparing for your JEE, if only 85% attendance is required. (15) THE MOST IMPORTANT Value Added Suggestion: Rather than solely relying on JEE, please participate in 5-7 entrance exams/counseling process with a JEE score for getting admission into any one of the private engineering colleges to have a variety of options to select the most suitable one. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1062 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son graduated BE CSC with 8.9 CGP was offered a job as system engineer inTCS in April when he was in his 8th semister. Till November 23 he didn't get the on boarding letter, in the meantime whe appeared in two' exams under same offer. Advice what has been going on.
Ans: Hello.
Whatever you are saying is just shocking. The track record of TCS is not like that, as you described in your question. It would be better to contact TCS again and ask them when they will give on boarding letter. It is not clear from your query whether your son had done some correspondence with TCS or not related to the job offered. It is also not clear which two exams he appeared in. If not selected in a campus interview, searching for a job might be tedious but not so difficult. Ask your son to post a strong resume on the LinkedIn portal and remain in touch with his seniors. Please visit the websites of renowned companies daily to search for vacancies. There are many job-offering portals where he can register his name. Please ask the college placement division for any placement opportunities.
Wishing the best of luck for his bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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T S Khurana

T S Khurana   |197 Answers  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Nov 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
Can you please suggest on capital gains as per Indian taxation laws arising in the below two queries : 1) property purchased with joint ownership, me and my wife’s name in 2015 at a cost of 64,80,000, housing improvements done for the cost of 1000000 and brokerages of 200000 paid and sold the same property at 10000000 in Dec 2023? 2) 87% of the proceeds got from the deal i.e 8700000, have been reinvested to pay 25% amount in purchasing another joint ownership property in Dec 2023, 3) I have invested in another under construction property in Nov 2023 by taking housing loan, which is on me and my wife’s name worth 1.4 cr, here the primary applicant is me only while wife is just made a Co applicant in the builder buyer agreement and also on the housing loan . So what are the LTCG tax liabilities arising from the above 3 scenarios for FY 2023-2024 and FY 2024-2025. I intend to sale off the property acquired in (2) by Dec 2024 and use that proceeds to close the housing loan for the property acquired in (3), will this sale of property be inviting any tax liabilities if the complete proceeds received from the sale of the property in (2) would be utilised to close the housing loan taken in Nov 2023 for the property in (3) ? Since in FY 23-24, I would be claiming the LTCG from the sale proceeds of 1) invested in the purchase of property in 2), and I intend to sale off this property in Dec 2024, will the LTCG claim be forfeited on the property sale in (1), should I hold this property at least for further 1 year so that sale of this property in 2) will not invite STCG?
Ans: (A). Let's first talk about F/Y 2023-24 :
You jointly sold a Property during the year for Rs.76.80 lakhs (64.80+10.00+2.00), & sold the same for Rs.100.00 lakhs.
You have jointly also purchased Property No.3 (I suppose it is Residential only), for Rs.140.00 lakhs.
You should avail exemption u/s-54 & file your ITR accordingly. Please disclose all details about sale & purchase in your ITR.
02. Now coming to the F/Y 2024-25 :
You intend to Sell Property No.2, which was acquired in 2023-24. Any Gain on Sale of it would be Short Term capital Gains & taxed accordingly.
Alternatively, you may hold this sale of property no.2 (for 2 years from its purchase) & avoid STCG
You are free to utilize the sale proceeds in a way you like, including paying off your housing Loan.
Please note to avail exemption u/s 54 only from investment in property no.3 & not 2.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

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