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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1362 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello madam I am 37 year old married since last 7.5 years.I have a baby of 14 month . Suddenly after born of my baby my in-laws have started interfering in our live.They are mentally torturing me like hell.I love my child very much.My wife has taken my child by telling lies and not coming back .I had not done anything neither there is any problem but my mother in law is forcing my wife to get divorce and most probably not allowing her to come back.what should i do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For the sake of the child, try to convince your wife to come back. There has been some misunderstanding perhaps that has taken on a new level which must be sorted out.
Ask an elder member in your family to speak to her parents who need to understand that their grandchild will be the one to suffer through all these ego clashes.
I am sure that you have not done anything BUT it's possible that your wife has misunderstood something or has some sort of a fear that possibly is making her do all of this. Even if it's been taught by her parents, she obviously as a mature woman and mother will know that every decision will impact the child. So, act quickly and have someone talk to her parents soon. Approach her only after that initial talk is done. I hope that will clear all the misunderstandings if any!

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 05, 2023

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Relationship
I refer to my previous mail question for which you have given me a general answer. To make you understand more, i take care of my twin babies most of the time in a day / every day. Both my Wife & in-laws avoid stating all sorts of stories and at the end of the day bringing up my twin kids falls on me and i don't even get a reliever for few minutes to take rest. Both of them, most of the time try to find fault with me, in me and try to blow up the issue. Till now, i have made myself very clear from all these issues and as you said, i tried to spend time with my wife, my in-law try to interfere with us and pulls out my wife with silly reasons like not well, body pain, house hold work. She never let us at least talk for few minutes with my wife and even suggested to my wife to part with me and they (my wife & In-laws) will stay away leaving me and my babies. After so much tolerance, i too told them to leave the babies with me and go as you wish. Now tell me sir, what should i do now???
Ans: I understand that you're facing a challenging situation in your family where you're primarily responsible for taking care of your twin babies, and your wife and in-laws seem to be creating obstacles and conflicts. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration for the well-being of everyone involved. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Open Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you feel. Express your concerns and emotions calmly and clearly. Let her know that you want to work together as a team to take care of your children and maintain a healthy relationship.
Seek Professional Help: If communication with your wife doesn't yield positive results, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can provide guidance and facilitate productive discussions.
Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Explain to them that while you appreciate their concern, you and your wife need some private time together as a couple, and it's essential for the well-being of your relationship.
Share Responsibilities: If possible, work out a schedule with your wife to share childcare responsibilities more evenly. This can help both of you get some much-needed rest and time together.
Stay Calm and Patient: Dealing with family conflicts can be stressful, but try to remain calm and patient. Avoid engaging in heated arguments or confrontations. Instead, focus on finding constructive solutions.
Consider Legal Advice: In extreme cases, if your relationship with your wife continues to deteriorate, and you fear for your rights as a parent, you may want to consult with an attorney to understand your legal options regarding child custody and visitation.
Self-Care: Don't forget to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Caring for twin babies can be exhausting, so make sure to prioritize your well-being. If possible, seek support from friends or family members who can give you some respite.
Remember that every situation is unique, and it may take time to find a resolution. It's essential to maintain a calm and respectful approach throughout the process. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a harmonious family environment that supports the well-being of both you and your children.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I had married a person who has an affair with the girl but before marriage he never told me about it .When I was 7 th month pregnancy I got to know about it but I support him and forgot all the things .After birth of my baby boy My mother in law's nature change suddenly.She used to torcher me , fighting with me .Even she called my parents 2 to 3 times come and take your girl.My husband supports her mother.6 months back she throw me out of the house with my baby .I am at my parents place.No one call me to ask for baby and provide financial support even .What should I do.Should I apply for maintenance for me and my baby.
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It's a difficult situation, but you have rights and options available to you.

Given the circumstances, seeking maintenance for both you and your baby seems like a reasonable step to ensure your financial stability and that of your child. You can consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law to understand the legal options available to you and to guide you through the process of applying for maintenance.

Additionally, it's important to consider your emotional well-being during this time. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can provide comfort and assistance. Seeking counseling or therapy can also be beneficial in processing the emotions and stress associated with your situation.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and you have the right to take steps to protect yourself and your child. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support as you navigate through this difficult time.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1362 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I got married to the person who was behind me for years. I always considered him as my friend and supporter even after knowing his intention. My mom kept advising me we should go behind that person who cares and loves us. I obeyed her. Soon after things went into proposal mode his family started demanding for dowry and other stuffs. My friend was not from a well fed family which I was not aware. They lied to is they are very rich, hence they need what the demanded since the marriage news was widw spread wit no options we arranged and gave. My friend and his mother brain washed and convinced us to agree for this marriage. Even since I got married my husband and his mother is ruling on me and family. It was late when we got to know that they have been lying to is on their assets. Now when we ask them they deny and keep harassing me. My family got fed up of these fights started maitaining distance and since I Don want to trouble my divorced mother I stop complaining about the issues I am facing. My in-laws demand increases day by day. My mother-in-law is a mother of two kids a son and a daughter but everytime she tortures me and her son is quiet most of the time. When responsibility comes she supports her daughter and makes us to take responsibility which is not fair. Responsibiloty is parallel and must be shared. I am not well, my husband doesn't even give me money or take me to doctor. I am been told marriage means providing food and shelter. Please advise me what shud I do I am fed up
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Basically you have been cheated; period!
What do you with even a basic thing like being cheated at a shop? Do you actually keep the product OR return it?
Yes, relationships are not like that BUT do understand that your marriage has been nothing but a transaction with mean minded people out to destroy you and your peace of mind.
There are no children in the equation so far...so do know you are free to take a decision. Today, it's harassment and giving you no money, tomorrow who knows what else!
Do you not see that they have begun to make you depend on them for the basic things? This is how it all begins before it gets into other shades of harassment which I do not want to speculate.
Put yourself first; be selfish and think about what to do next to actually live a peaceful and carefree life like the way it was before marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1362 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Anshuman

Dr Anshuman Manaswi  |6 Answers  |Ask -

Plastic-Aesthetic Surgeon, Emergency Care Consultant - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dear Doctor, I work as a corporate lawyer in Delhi. I’ve been considering undergoing a cosmetic procedure for my skin for some time now, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the number of surgeons available. I want to ensure that I choose someone who is experienced, as this is a big decision for me. Could you advise what I should look for when selecting a plastic-aesthetic surgeon? Are there any specific red flags I should be aware of when researching potential surgeons? I want to make sure I’m in safe hands. I’m 40 years old.
Ans: This is a beautiful question.
Before I dwell on your question, there are a few points which are very important for the patient to know.
1. You should roughly know what result you wish to have.
2. Never think of a perfect result. There is no such result.
3. You must think in terms of improvement and if you are sble to achieve more than 90% approx, it can be considred good.
4. Dont compare your results with any celebrity's result. There body structure is different, they have probably taken better care till now and importantly, the result you see on a public platform is after make up and not the real result. Some times it may be a photoshopped image
5. Let your doctor know if you have any medical history and addictions.
6. Don't go with pre concieved notion (especially if you have researched a lot online). Discuss with the doctor, listen to his/ her views and raise your concerns if any
7. Try and see some results of the doctors work (Remember, too good a result may not be the true result). Realistic result is what you should want to look at and believe.
8. Don't fall for less budget! its obvious a meticulous job needs more surgical time. This means that the doctor may charge more. Seniority also adds to the cost.
What I mean, there is a price to be paid for a good job.(whether medical or anywhere).
Now coming to the Plastic surgeon's choice.
1. Research well, but dont fall prey to only advertisement. Small and big centers, both advertise,
2. Dont fall for glamour. You are going to a surgeon. A plastic surgeon's clinic is clean but not lavish generally. At least I believe that the person coming is not a client, but a patient. A patient - Doctor relationship is more pure than a client-Professional relationship.
3. Talk and discuss with the doctor. A too busy doctor may not always be the best doctor for you. Plastic surgery is about thinking, planning and execution. A doctor who thinks aloud about your problem ( especially if ut us face, nose, breast etc) is applying his/ her knowledge for your betterment, because every oerson is different.
4. Check the resilts? Look for genuinity.
5. Be wary of arrogant, loud and boisterous people. There is a difference between confidence and fambloyence.
6. Doctors who are attached to reputed hospitals are generally good in their work.
7. A doctor who can talk about probable complications is also a doctor worth trusting.
I hope I am able to do justice to this difficult question. All the best. You can write again if you need any other clarifications.
Dr. Anshuman Manaswi

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