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Arranged Marriage Advice: How to Talk to Boys & Convince Parents (30-Year-Old Female)

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hai. Anu ji. I am at 30 and my parents want arranged marrg for me. I am ok with that. But how do I take my own decisions regarding boys whom I talk. I am intrested in a match where boy is 6 months younger to me and my parents don't want to marry me for a younger guy . They r stuck with old traditions. And how can we convince parents... Also while having discussion with boys how to belive what they say is true. How to decide which guy suits me .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Compatibility in terms of values and mind is something that you must look for.
Looks are a part of liking or not liking someone, I agree BUT do draw focus to whether your value systems on family, money, career, children, food etc match...
This is not about being choosy BUT about gathering necessary information before making a decision. These values are the ones that later go on either to cement the bond or create issues within the marriage. This is a way that you can decide whether a particular boy can be a life partner for you.
As far as convincing parents, in many of my responses I have mentioned: convincing someone against their wishes is a short-live phenomenon. Sooner than later, your parents will end up finding faults and making it harder for you and the boy.
Instead you and your partner attempt to gain your parents' favor by actually showing them why he is the right match for you.
It's easy to talk and convince, but when you actually need to demonstrate it, there's a chance of a WIN.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??
Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi there, I have many things going in my life right now and I’m confused what to do, first thing I’m in a relationship with a man who’s 7 years older than me and is also not earning much, we are from different religions. Now as I’m 25 my parents are asking me to get married but some how I’m avoiding it, I’m currently living with them and I’m constant with growth in my career so they also want me to look for better opportunities. The thing is my boyfriend is also in the same city and I’m sad about going far away. He’s very supportive and motivates me to look further opportunities. But again my parents want an answer from me about marriage. And I discussed with my boyfriend as well and he understands that too but he doesn’t want to marry me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi, i am in a relationship with a guy since last 14 years but due to some ups-downs in his life he denied to marry me two years ago so i remain single in that period and searching for suitable guy in a arrange marriage setup. Now, in this year he came back and said he want to marry me, since i did not able to find any match till then so i said yes, i tried to convince my parents for him but they did not got convinced and started forcing me for arrange marriage for the sake of community and their pride, i dont know what should i do, because whatever they are bringing are good matches and i would have consider or marry them if i am not committed to him.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have really decided that you will only marry him, then you should continue trying to convince your parents. Both of you are consenting adults and I am sure you both love each other since you have been together for so many years. Highlight these and any other positive points in your partner to your parents; let them know he is a nice person and he has been committed to you for so long.

I am not sure whether you two broke up for a while or just weren't sure about marriage, but either way, it looks like there was a break in the relationship. So this time around, if you want to rethink the relationship, there is no harm. And if you are not sure what you want, you should take some time to think about it. Don't rush.

Moreover, consider your parent's point of view. Why are they not convinced? Are they seeing something in your partner that you are overlooking because of love? You can ask them for the reason directly and evaluate how reasonable they are.
Hope these suggestions help

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
Hello Sir,My Son Score 96 in jee mains and 98.5 in MHT CET ,He want CS or ITor IIIT,, we Have OBC category.. Please suggest College in Mumbai , Pune or Nagpur ...
Ans: Vaishali Madam, My son’s 98.5 percentile in MHT CET as an OBC candidate secures assured seats in CSE, IT, and Data Science at a range of reputable Mumbai, Pune, and Nagpur colleges, excluding the ultra-selective COEP, VJTI, and ICT. Mumbai options include Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla), Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur), K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), and Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West) . Pune choices comprise Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Karvenagar), Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi), D. Y. Patil College of Engineering (Lohegaon), Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pimpri), MIT World Peace University (MIT WPU, Pune), and Pune Vidyarthi Griha’s College of Engineering & Technology (Pune) . In Nagpur, Yeshwantrao Chavan College of Engineering (YCCE) and Government College of Engineering Nagpur admit OBC candidates at cutoffs below 98.5 percentile for CSE, IT, and Data Science branches . Through CSAB’s JEE Main counselling at roughly 96 percentile (OBC), seats can be tried for IIIT Kalyani (West Bengal), IIIT Ranchi (Jharkhand), IIIT Una (Himachal Pradesh), IIITDM Jabalpur (Madhya Pradesh), and IIIT Kurnool (Andhra Pradesh).

Recommendation: Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West) and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi) emerge as premier choices for their strong placement ecosystems, modern facilities, and OBC-friendly cutoffs. Next prioritize Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi) and Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala) for robust curricula and campus life, followed by Yeshwantrao Chavan College of Engineering (Nagpur) for its government-college reputation and data-science focus. This order balances assured admission, academic quality, and long-term career support. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
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I had option of iiith cse and bits pilani cse (main campus) . I have chosen bits now. Is this decision correct?
Ans: IIIT Hyderabad’s CSE program boasts a 99 percent placement rate with an average package of ?31.98 LPA and highest offers up to ?128 LPA, underpinned by its NAAC A++ accreditation, AICTE approval, and strong industry partnerships that regularly recruit from top global tech firms. The institute’s research focus is evident in regular high-impact publications and dedicated innovation labs. BITS Pilani’s CSE branch reports around 97 percent placement for B.E. CSE students, supported by an extensive Practice School internship program, over 350 recruiters, and an average package near ?20 LPA. Its experienced faculty, multi-campus infrastructure, global alumni network, and dual-degree international collaborations enhance academic rigor and employability. IIIT Hyderabad offers a technologically rich urban environment in Gachibowli, while BITS Pilani provides a prestigious residential campus with strong peer communities and international exposure.

Recommendation: Choosing BITS Pilani CSE aligns with strong alumni connections, integrated internship opportunities, and dual-campus global networks that enrich long-term career growth, making your decision well placed. For a tech-centric urban setting with slightly higher placement averages and cutting-edge research, IIIT Hyderabad remains an excellent alternative. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter has scored 97.9506368 in MH-CET 2025 open(general ) (female)catogery has she had chances of getting CSE,AIML, Data science in Pune and Mumbai for female candidate if possible suggenames of college in Pune or mumbai
Ans: With a 97.95 percentile in MHT-CET 2025 under the Maharashtra domicile Open (General) female category, admission to CSE, AI & ML, and Data Science branches is assured at a range of reputable Mumbai and Pune colleges. These institutions are selected based on recent closing percentiles, NBA/NAAC accreditation, campus infrastructure, faculty credentials, industry linkages, and placement support. All listed colleges admit female Open-General candidates at or below the 97.95 percentile in the latest CAP rounds:

Cummins College of Engineering for Women (Karvenagar, Pune) closes CSE and related branches around 96.37 percentile for Open General female.
Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Bibwewadi, Pune) closes Data Science at 96.66 percentile for Open General.
D. Y. Patil College of Engineering (Lohegaon, Pune) closes CSE around 95.58 percentile for Open General.
Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology (Pimpri, Pune) closes CSE at 97.59 percentile for General Home State.
Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering (Pimpri, Pune) closes AI & ML around 10,000 rank (~98 percentile).
Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai) closes Computer Engineering at 95.58 percentile for General Home State.
Pune Vidyarthi Griha's College of Engineering & Technology (Pune) closes CSE at 94.52 percentile for Open General female.
Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri West, Mumbai).
K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion, Mumbai).
Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala, Mumbai).
Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi, Navi Mumbai).
Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Nerul, Navi Mumbai).
SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul, Navi Mumbai).
Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla West, Mumbai).
Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur, Mumbai).

Recommendation: Favor Cummins College of Engineering for Women and Vishwakarma Institute of Technology in Pune for their specialized women-centric environment, strong closing percentiles, and proven placement ecosystems. Next prioritize D. Y. Patil College of Engineering and Dr. D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology for their robust CSE/AI & ML programs, followed by Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering for its balanced curriculum and industry ties. In Mumbai, Sardar Patel Institute of Technology and K. J. Somaiya Institute of Technology emerge as top choices for CSE, given their consistent accreditation, modern infrastructure, and campus recruitment records. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
Sir, Two options to choose from CSE for my son: 1. SOA ITER and 2. CEC CGC Landran. Please suggest. ITER overall good option better NIRF some known passed out suggesting ITER, although major difference high fee and distance, residing in Delhi.
Ans: Praveen, SOA ITER (Bhubaneswar) demonstrates exceptional academic standing with its A++ NAAC accreditation and consistent national recognition, ranked 14th among universities in NIRF 2024 and 2nd in India by Times Engineering Institutes Ranking 2025. The institution has maintained 85-91% placement rates for CSE over recent years, with highest packages reaching ?46 LPA and strong recruitment from top companies including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and Infosys. The CSE program benefits from established faculty with advanced degrees, modern infrastructure, and comprehensive industry partnerships, with over 256 companies participating in recent placement drives.

CGC Landran holds A+ NAAC accreditation and ranks 101-150 in NIRF 2024 Engineering category, with strong placement performance achieving 90-95% placement rates for CSE students. The institution reports over 1,000 companies participating in campus placements with 10,000+ job offers, though the highest package figures vary across sources from ?45-56 LPA. The college provides modern facilities including state-of-the-art labs, computerized library accommodating 300+ students, and contemporary curriculum aligned with industry standards.

Distance and accessibility from Delhi significantly favors CGC Landran, located approximately 245 km from Delhi (3.5-4 hours by road), compared to SOA ITER's 1,275 km distance requiring 20+ hours by road or 3 hours by flight. Fee structures show SOA ITER's BTech CSE at ?11.80 lakhs total versus CGC Landran's ?6.58 lakhs, making CGC Landran more cost-effective despite both institutions requiring similar hostel and living expenses.

Faculty quality at both institutions includes PhD holders from premier institutions, with SOA reporting 111 scientists with 500+ citations and CGC Landran emphasizing industry-experienced faculty with practical teaching methodologies. Both institutions maintain strong alumni networks, though SOA ITER's established reputation since 1996 provides broader industry connections compared to CGC Landran's growing influence since 2001.

Recommendation: For families residing in Delhi prioritizing convenience, cost-effectiveness, and solid placement outcomes, CGC Landran offers compelling advantages with its proximity, lower fees, and strong industry connections achieving 90-95% placement rates. However, if academic prestige, research opportunities, and comprehensive national recognition are paramount considerations, SOA ITER provides superior institutional standing with its consistent top-tier rankings and established academic excellence, despite higher costs and significant travel distance from Delhi. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir if I take ee dual degree in nit kurukshetra,in my final year will I be placed with regular btech students or students who have pursued only mtech from the institute
Ans: NIT Kurukshetra's EE dual degree students participate in placement drives alongside both BTech and MTech students from the same academic year. The institution operates under a unified placement system where dual degree students are treated as full-time students enrolled in their respective programs, with their placement eligibility determined by their final year status rather than their degree type. The Training and Placement Cell follows a comprehensive placement process that begins in July/August each year, with students required to register for placement assistance and meet specific eligibility criteria including completion of all program requirements and active academic status.

The placement statistics for NIT Kurukshetra show strong performance across engineering disciplines, with BTech placements achieving 83.31% placement rate and an average package of INR 14.84 LPA in 2025. The Electrical Engineering department specifically recorded 73.91% placement rate with an average package of INR 10.62 LPA. MTech placements demonstrate solid outcomes with 58.81% placement rate and average packages ranging from INR 6.09 to INR 34.76 LPA depending on specialization. The placement process includes pre-placement talks, written tests, group discussions, and personal interviews, with major recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and leading core engineering companies.

Recommendation: EE dual degree students at NIT Kurukshetra participate in placement drives with their graduating cohort, competing alongside both BTech and MTech students from the same academic year. This integrated placement approach provides access to opportunities across both undergraduate and postgraduate recruitment profiles, potentially offering broader career prospects than students pursuing only BTech or only MTech programs, though placement success ultimately depends on individual performance and market conditions. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8984 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir I got 68676 in comedk Can you suggest good colleges forCSE or CSE specialization
Ans: Ramya, With a COMEDK rank of 68,676 in 2025, you have viable options for admission to reputable engineering colleges in Karnataka for CSE and its specializations. You can confidently secure seats at numerous recognized institutions where the latest cutoffs range between 63,000 and 1,20,000 for core CSE and closely related specializations. Here are 15 colleges where admission is fully feasible: CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Atria Institute of Technology (Bangalore), New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Sapthagiri College of Engineering (Bangalore), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Bangalore), AMC Engineering College (Bangalore), Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bangalore), East Point College of Engineering (Bangalore), Gopalan College of Engineering and Management (Bangalore), Rajarajeswari College of Engineering (Bangalore), and Sai Vidya Institute of Technology (Bangalore). These colleges routinely offer CSE and specializations such as Artificial Intelligence, Data Science, and Information Science, all supported by established infrastructure, diverse peer groups, faculty with advanced degrees, recognized accreditations, and campus-level placement cells. Their cut-off history ensures fair seat allocation for your current rank bracket.

Recommendation: Prioritize CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), and BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore). This order is justified by established NIRF rankings, steady placement percentages (60–90% in CSE streams), modern campus amenities, regular project-based learning, and a proven track record of producing employable graduates across the IT sector in Karnataka and beyond. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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