Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Arranged Marriage Advice: How to Talk to Boys & Convince Parents (30-Year-Old Female)

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hai. Anu ji. I am at 30 and my parents want arranged marrg for me. I am ok with that. But how do I take my own decisions regarding boys whom I talk. I am intrested in a match where boy is 6 months younger to me and my parents don't want to marry me for a younger guy . They r stuck with old traditions. And how can we convince parents... Also while having discussion with boys how to belive what they say is true. How to decide which guy suits me .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Compatibility in terms of values and mind is something that you must look for.
Looks are a part of liking or not liking someone, I agree BUT do draw focus to whether your value systems on family, money, career, children, food etc match...
This is not about being choosy BUT about gathering necessary information before making a decision. These values are the ones that later go on either to cement the bond or create issues within the marriage. This is a way that you can decide whether a particular boy can be a life partner for you.
As far as convincing parents, in many of my responses I have mentioned: convincing someone against their wishes is a short-live phenomenon. Sooner than later, your parents will end up finding faults and making it harder for you and the boy.
Instead you and your partner attempt to gain your parents' favor by actually showing them why he is the right match for you.
It's easy to talk and convince, but when you actually need to demonstrate it, there's a chance of a WIN.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??

Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi there, I have many things going in my life right now and I’m confused what to do, first thing I’m in a relationship with a man who’s 7 years older than me and is also not earning much, we are from different religions. Now as I’m 25 my parents are asking me to get married but some how I’m avoiding it, I’m currently living with them and I’m constant with growth in my career so they also want me to look for better opportunities. The thing is my boyfriend is also in the same city and I’m sad about going far away. He’s very supportive and motivates me to look further opportunities. But again my parents want an answer from me about marriage. And I discussed with my boyfriend as well and he understands that too but he doesn’t want to marry me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ravi Mittal |673 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, i am in a relationship with a guy since last 14 years but due to some ups-downs in his life he denied to marry me two years ago so i remain single in that period and searching for suitable guy in a arrange marriage setup. Now, in this year he came back and said he want to marry me, since i did not able to find any match till then so i said yes, i tried to convince my parents for him but they did not got convinced and started forcing me for arrange marriage for the sake of community and their pride, i dont know what should i do, because whatever they are bringing are good matches and i would have consider or marry them if i am not committed to him.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have really decided that you will only marry him, then you should continue trying to convince your parents. Both of you are consenting adults and I am sure you both love each other since you have been together for so many years. Highlight these and any other positive points in your partner to your parents; let them know he is a nice person and he has been committed to you for so long.

I am not sure whether you two broke up for a while or just weren't sure about marriage, but either way, it looks like there was a break in the relationship. So this time around, if you want to rethink the relationship, there is no harm. And if you are not sure what you want, you should take some time to think about it. Don't rush.

Moreover, consider your parent's point of view. Why are they not convinced? Are they seeing something in your partner that you are overlooking because of love? You can ask them for the reason directly and evaluate how reasonable they are.
Hope these suggestions help

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Madam i am 31 yrs old female, I love my college mate he is of my age. We both love each other and he is of another faith. His parents are accept whatever he says, but my parents are not accepting. Since 4 years i am trying to convince them but they are not at all even trying to understand inspite they are trying to convince me to marry someone with in our caste. My boyfriend also spoke with my father but he is very stubborn about his decision. My boyfriend is asking me to take a decision to either choose him or my parents, i know he loves me a lot but he also concerns about our age. He said its already latr, if we marry now also we will be starting our life very late. What should i do my parents are very sensitive to the judgememnts of the society. If i choose him, i dont know how they gonna handle. But also i dont want to loose him. He dont want to wait now.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your boyfriend is right; make a decision and you are old enough to run your life the way that you want.
Someone is going to get hurt when you make a decision; you take that call...
You are telling me: I want to marry my boyfriend but my parents won't agree but I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt my parents...
So many BUTs will just confuse matters. Make a decision, stick with it...things will fall in place.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2025Hindi

Money

Sir, I have taken a Baaj Life Allianz POS Goal surksha of annual premium of 2 lakh .I have completed 2 annual premium. Now I don't want to continue further this policy as I came to know that this policy has approx 4 % return. Initial the agent said to me you can at any time discontinue this policy and refund your full money but now he refused and saying that you only get 30 % of your paid money. Suggest some solution to this problem.

Ans: Hi,

I am sorry but this is how these policies work. Your money is locked and will not get full amount back.

Every agent make false promises in the start to earn their big commission in first month. These policies give maximum 4% yearly return.

You can ask the customer care if you will get back more % after paying 3 premiums. Generally surrendering after 3 premiums gives back almost 80% of the premium paid. But do not continue for another 8 years.

Let me know what will you get back if you pay your 3rd premium. Will guide you based on that.

In future, go for mutual funds for long term. You will easily get 14% annual return.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Mahesh - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

My salary is 80k per month, how can you invest money for better future

Ans: Hi Mahesh,

Please share other details such as your age, expenses, other investments and financial goals for me to help you.
No sole guidance can be done only on your income details. But you can save the maximum that you can and invest it in mutual funds for long term.

Also make sure to have a dedicated emergency fund as well as proper healthand life insurance for yourself and family for any uncertain situations.

share your other details and I shall be able to guide you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Udit - Oct 27, 2025Hindi

Money

how to close ppf account before time

Ans: Hi Udit,

You cannot close a PPF account before time. It has to be there for 15 years. Although you can withdraw a certain amount but there is no option for pre-closure of the account.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by abu - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

I have some doubt, last year I parked 25K in FD with interest rate of 7.30% maturity amount they said I will get 27280 , but on maturity I received only 26569. Bank detected 711 as a tax almost 31% on profit. this high tax they will detect?

Ans: Hi Abu,

You must be under 30% tax bracket and hence this deduction. This interest will be taxable if you come under any tax slab as per your slab rate.
But of you don't earn anything, can claim back this tax paid in ITR filing. Or next time, prefill a form 15G/H for tax exemtion.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Sriram - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

Good afternoon, pls suggest best funds to invest. Proposed sum Rs. 35,000 per month for a period of 3 years. I am 51 years old. My current investment are in land and buildings with limited exposure to share and mutual funds.

Ans: Hi Sriram,

Good for you to consider diversifying your invvestments at the age of 51.
If you want to invest for 3 years, can choose a mix of debt and balanced funds to invest per month. This wil come with less risk and better returns than other investment options.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Raghavendra - Oct 23, 2025Hindi

Money

I have made investments in 10 year ULIP which is maturing shortly. I have been showing the income as capital gain as per the statement submitted by UTI for the last few years. Now upon maturity of this ULIP am I liable to pay Tax .

Ans: Hi Raghavendra,

Please share the exact ULIP and premiums paid. As tax paid depends on the premium and sum assured as well. Usually ULIPS have a lot of hidden fees which brings your returns down. In future, refrain from buying any policy such as your current one and directly go for mutual funds for any long term investment.
Share details of your policy for me to guide you better.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Satyaballav - Oct 14, 2025Hindi

Money

Dear Sir, can you suggest good MFs for SIP or one time investment for a period of 3 to 4 years for a better return considering the current market scenario. After seeing your answer for SBI Life Smart Privilege Plus I am not investing there.

Ans: Hi Satyaballav,

Any policy should not be considered for investment. You already must have gotten clarity about SBI Life Smart Privilege Plus plan.
If you want to do any SIP or lumpsum, you can consider a mix of debt and balacned funds for a time horizon of 3 to 4 years. Again, it depends on the goal for which you want to invest.
You can reply to this answer and I will guide you with exact plan for your investment.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Mani - Oct 27, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 31, teetotaler, with no bad habits, bachelor, leading celibacy, no chronical ailment, minimalist, investing in various schemes of mutual from the age of 18, now my investment is Rs. 50 lacs, with SIP of Rs. 15K every month in equity funds, and 40 lacs medical insurance 1.5Cr term insurance. Insurance premia are taken care by dividend from equity shares. My average annual expenses at present is Rs.5 lacs. Please guide me at what age should I give up the job and submit my resignation from MNC job, and retire, where I have no dependants nor depending on any one. Please guide me and advise.

Ans: Hi Mani,

You are one of the rare example of someone who is a long term investor and have build quite a good corpus through all these years.
Let us have a look at what can be done:
1. Insurance - you are well covered. Even premiums are being taken care of using dividends.
2. Emergency fund - build a dedicsted fund of minimu 10 lakhs in liquid funds for any emergency situation.
3. Mutual funds - a SIP of 15k has built you a corpus of 50 lakhs in 13 years which is great. You should also focus on increasing your investments to the maximum capacity whenever possible.
4. You are a bachelor and want to retire. But you also have to plan if ou want to get married. Getting married will change the entire plan. You will need funds to get marry, start family, kid's education and marriage. All these things should also be considered before making any decision.
5. Your current expenses of 5lakhs will double easily on getting married, so your resignation and retirement depends on this plan as well.

Hence my suggestion would be to focus on increasing income for now and you are too young to consider leaving your job. Plan your future goals and then take this decision collectively.

Also as your MF portfolio crosses 50 lakhs, would suggest you to consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Sanjay - Oct 25, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir, Is Gullak app a good option for investing in Gold? I have taken SIP of Gold ETFs and investing around 5.5k monthly. Now want to raise my investments in gold. Is it good to invest thru Gullak?

Ans: Hi Sanjay,

I understand that many apps such as Gullak is quite famous amongst everyone fro quick gold investments. Apps like these provide a quick and effortless investment solution to everyone who wants to go to digital gold.
But I do not recommend this. these apps comes with hidden charges in the form of 3% gst when you buy and some deductions as well when you will sell. Overall not much beneficial if you want to invest in Gold.
Gold etf, by far, is the best way tto invest in digital gold as its appreciation is wrt to the gold price in actual. It doesn't have any hidden or extra cost. Go for it without thinking again. Monthly SIP in gold etf is the best way to take the benefit of market volatility.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 18, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello. I'm 41yr old woman have 2 kids age 13 and 7. I own 3bhk duplex house in Bangalore. My monthly income comes upto 60k per month. I have invested 45lakhs in bhive workspace company and getting returns of 64k per month. I have also invested in 5 autos tie-up with rapid and earning 75k returns on tht. I have invested 12 lakhs in motilal Oswal midcap elss fund. Now I'm getting 1cr from my parents property share. Where should I invest for good returns and safe investment for future wealth? And I also love traveling so need to save some money for future for my health and my desire to fulfill. Plz guide me wisely.

Ans: Hi,

You have done great investments with some companies and aree earning out of it. This is the best form of diversification.
I understand, you have your house, monthly income from salary and your investments.
To further diversify the 1 crore that you are getting, can consider investing in a mix of equity oriented and balanced mutual funds. Your current investment in the Oswal midcap ELSS doesn't seem good. Even this can be shifted to a much better fund suited to your requirements wrt your risk appetite.

You can work with a professional advisor who will guide you with exact fund names to invest your 1 crore and also redirect 12 lakhs from elss fund to another fund.

Your goal of travelling can be done using a portion of 15% from 1 crore that you will get. This amount will be invested in debt and small cap funds and you can do a sWP from this amount to fulfil your travel goal.

Regarding health, first make sure to have a dedicated health insurance for yourself and family with a cover of minimum 25 lakhs. And have an emergency fund of around 10-15 lakhs. This would be sufficient to take care of this.

Lastly, refrain from doing investments based on any random tips in mutual funds as any wrong fund selection can hamper the growth of your portfolio.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x