Hi Got married 3 months back and i got to know my wife had 6 year relation with someone. she lost her virginity with him she was more sexually active. i am not able to digest this.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What seems to bother you more?
The fact that she is not a virgin or the fact that she hid it from you.
Why I ask this question is because it will help you evaluate your feelings stemming from which of the two it is...
I do understand that you feel cheated and there is significant amount of trust lost...
Also, I gather from you that you have strong feelings about chastity, purity etc and this is fair in your world as it is part of your core beliefs.
Now let's see things for what they are...she possibly didn't tell you because she knew that you might reject the proposal OR that she wanted to start afresh and many more OR she was forced into this marriage...But the fact that it has begun to eat at your peace of mind suggests that you must speak with her about it. Tell her exactly how you have felt being lied to.
Ask her if she still is interested in being in the marriage and ask yourself the same question. If there is any scope of reconciliation and putting this scene behind you, then it maybe worthwhile to rebuild the marriage from scratch. But if your belief comes in the way and you are unable to make peace with the fact that she hid this fact, everyday will be torturous.
Whatever the decision, I suggest talking it through together without blame games as this will only lead to anger and more conflict rather than leading to a decision point.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Saurav,

I understand that facing infidelity in a relationship is incredibly tough, and I'm sorry you're going through this. To make it through this challenging time, open communication and commitment from both partners are crucial. Starting with acknowledging the infidelity is a positive step, honest conversation about the issue and working together to move forward. Let's face it, it happened and I assume you decided to keep working on your marriage, so you will have to take it one step at a time. Acceptance is the first.

While friends and family can provide support, consider seeking couples therapy to address underlying problems. Guidance from a professional is invaluable in rebuilding trust and understanding. They can offer you a more structured approach. And don't forget to take care of yourself. You might even consider seeking individual counseling to sort out the emotional turmoil caused by this.

Rebuilding trust takes time, and both parties need to be dedicated. Manage your expectations and remember that recovery is a gradual process.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While I understand that it is not a comfortable topic or even a pleasant feeling to know about your partner's romantic history, sexual or otherwise, the important thing to keep in mind is it was in the past. Is she still in touch, mind you I do not mean friendly or professionally, I mean romantically in touch with her colleague or ex? If the answer is no, you have nothing to worry about it. You being a virgin was your choice, and her being intimate with her ex-partners was hers. Neither is wrong if it did not involve cheating or hurting anyone and if it was all consensual. Please do not dwell on the past. You should be happy your wife chose you and you chose her and focus on building a better future together.

Best Wishes.

Ans: What matters is the present not past. Are they still having sex?