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Arrange Marriage: Big Difference Between Girl's Pictures and Looks

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 12, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Girl i met for arrange marriage was totally different looking than shhown in picture, and when we went to see her , she came as if she was not interested, normal daily wear clothing and like she was just casual abt meet, I dont know what to do, i went to see her looking at.picture and credentials but.on seeing her totally.different i dont feel like any attraction of any kind.now, but.my fammily is.pressurising me to.pursue, what to do ,.pls guide asap I.have ony.day.or two to say

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marrying someone for the sole reason of family pressure is never a good idea. If you feel no attraction for her, please communicate that to your parents. First, for their peace of mind, convince them that you are willing to get married soon. Then, let them know that you just want to look for some more alliances before you decide. That's only fair.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu,I am 42 year old male and have been separated from marital relationship and i don't have children,since 13 years and living alone where my father and mother had passed away few years ago.I was searching for brides profile from matrimony websites and found a widowed woman who is selfemployed. I called and talked her. she is equivalent of my age.She has one son aged of 24.I was willing to marry her but she does not want to marry anybody rather she expressed her interest and consent to live in a cohabitation(Living together relationship).(She said that her son is a grown up boy and preparing for competitive exams and she loves him a lot,She added that it is not possible to convince him for marrying another person.I accepted it and said ok. Later on we had date and moved on.Whenever she come for a date she asks me to spend and buy apparels,asking me to recharge mobile,asking me to buy provisions ,watches and to pay water taxes of her house.I did it without hesitation and she asks me for gold ring and ear-studs.She is not having contentment and i feel that she is greedy and she does not shows any form of courtesy towards me and further she did not spend even a single rupee for me .I am worried that she is exploiting me.I was wondered and shocked that during a little discussion with her she said that she could move away from me at any point of time if she finds any other person whom she likes her.I was dejected.I said that i am not your Money wallet to swindle me.I am not ready to spend money to a girl who informs me that she will be leaving from me.I scolded her. Even when have planned to marry at that time the woman asks me that whether i am a dominating person and asking about the details of my earlier marriage and testing about my genuinity. Now the relationship has broken between us and i am very much worried that whether i have taken a correct decision or not from stepping away from her because whenever i like to see her she ask me to make surprises for her.In turn no love and affection is being received from her. Kindly advice me that whether i have taken correct decision from quitting her relationship or i have hurried a lot by taken a wrong decision. Please advice and guide me and do the needful in this regard.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have done yourself a huge favor by leaving her and the connection with her. When you started to have doubts about her being greedy was the time that you knew that she was just taking advantage of your kindness.
She was clearly never serious about this association from the beginning and spending your money and demanding more is a clear RED FLAG that she was never interested in anything long-term and that it was a convenient as long as you met her needs through money.
What more proof do you want? Are you now still worried about the fact whether you taken the right decision or not?
Kindly invest time and energy in people who nourish you and let you grow in all areas of your life. Be wise...

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Shalini,I am 42 year old male and have been separated from marital relationship and i don't have children,since 13 years and living alone where my father and mother had passed away few years ago.I was searching for brides profile from matrimony websites and found a widowed woman who is selfemployed. I called and talked her. she is equivalent of my age.She has one son aged of 24.I was willing to marry her but she does not want to marry anybody rather she expressed her interest and consent to live in a cohabitation(Living together relationship).(She said that her son is a grown up boy and preparing for competitive exams and she loves him a lot,She added that it is not possible to convince him for marrying another person.I accepted it and said ok. Later on we had date and moved on.Whenever she come for a date she asks me to spend and buy apparels,asking me to recharge mobile,asking me to buy provisions ,watches and to pay water taxes of her house.I did it without hesitation and she asks me for gold ring and ear-studs.She is not having contentment and i feel that she is greedy and she does not shows any form of courtesy towards me and further she did not spend even a single rupee for me .I am worried that she is exploiting me.I was wondered and shocked that during a little discussion with her she said that she could move away from me at any point of time if she finds any other person whom she likes her.I was dejected.I said that i am not your Money wallet to swindle me.I am not ready to spend money to a girl who informs me that she will be leaving from me.I scolded her. Even when have planned to marry at that time the woman asks me that whether i am a dominating person and asking about the details of my earlier marriage and testing about my genuinity. Now the relationship has broken between us and i am very much worried that whether i have taken a correct decision or not from stepping away from her because whenever i like to see her she ask me to make surprises for her.In turn no love and affection is being received from her. Kindly advice me that whether i have taken correct decision from quitting her relationship or i have hurried a lot by taken a wrong decision. Please advice and guide me and do the needful in this regard.
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling confused and conflicted about your recent relationship. Based on what you've described, several points emerge:

Red flags in the relationship:

Financial demands: Her consistent requests for money and expensive gifts, without reciprocation, raise concerns about potential financial exploitation.
Lack of emotional connection: You mentioned not receiving love and affection, raising questions about her genuine interest in building a meaningful relationship.
Conditional presence: Her statement about leaving for someone else suggests instability and lack of commitment.
Focus on your past: Excessive questioning about your previous marriage could indicate insecurity or distrust.
Your decision to step away:

Given these red flags, your decision to end the relationship seems reasonable. Prioritizing your emotional and financial well-being is crucial.

Moving forward:

Focus on self-care: Allow yourself time to process this experience and prioritize your emotional well-being. Explore activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Consider therapy: Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you gain clarity, understand your needs, and develop healthy relationship patterns.
Refine your approach: Reflect on what you seek in a relationship and adjust your boundaries and expectations when seeking future partners. Don't hesitate to say no to financial requests or behaviors that make you uncomfortable.
Be patient: Finding a genuine connection takes time and effort. Focus on personal growth and building healthy relationships before actively seeking a new partner.
Remember, prioritizing your self-worth and respecting your boundaries is essential for building healthy and fulfilling relationships. Don't feel pressured to rush into anything that doesn't feel right. Focus on building a life that brings you happiness and fulfillment, and the right connections will follow.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

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Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |942 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

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While writing this message, I am very shameful and guilty ???? about my marks to share with you sir.my Cat score 50%ile Xat: 35%ile Snap:40%ile Nmat:198 marks ???????????????????? I am Requesting ????????????????????????you an advice sir! I graduated in 2024 May in b.com! These exams were my first attempt. Now I am 22yrs old. At Present I am not doing any job, didn't have any course. at home there is a lot of pressure to join any b school. With these scores I don't get any colleges . I want to do an MBA in best b school. Sir how was SDA Bocconi? Will get I get with my nmat score? Should I apply for it?Sir with lot of pressure I am requesting you to give me a guidance ???????? will I join any b-school? If yes Name some best colleges with my scores? (Or) I am fresher will I search and do a job along with cat 2025 prep? Sir by seeing these scores :( If I prepare for cat this year will I crack? I want to give cat this year with very efficient and indepth practice by seeing these scores. Sir I am thinking that I want to give CUET PG to get best university seat to do an MBA like in BHU,JNU...so that I can prepare for cat 2025. How will be the career from doing MBA from Central universities.is there any problem doing MBA along with cat precisely? Is this good thing.? Or will I change my plan? If I prepare for this year. What about GAP year? How should I cover this Sir?? this is very important question. Pls sir ???????? i need suppport from you! As I discussed with my family about job. We have a small Tea business. I will help my parents and study. Present At home family condition is bad(parents health). we have a Brother,He is our family well wisher, behalf of his guidance i started to prepare for this exam and scored very bad. Now he is saying to prepare again for this year with lot of commitment and hard work. But He and my family is saying Not to do Job, work at Tea business and prepare for this year very hardly. Is this good decision.? Will it cover GAP year like doing family business? Thank you ???????? sir
Ans: SDA Bocconi may not accept 198 nmat score, but they have their own test if you want to try. With 198 NMAT, can try for IBS (ICFAI) and other colleges that accept the scores. Can also write ATMA, and MAT that will be held in Feb March so that you have more options to apply to. About repeating a year you can decide once this years cycle for admission is complete.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7612 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

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Money
I will retire from PSU next month. I live in Delhi NCR and will receive a corpus worth Rs 1.5 crore. However, the company will provide only Rs 3,000 per month in pension. I have not built a house and intend to live on rent in a 3 BHK in Delhi. My monthly expenses on food and conveyance are below Rs 15,000 per month, with Rs 10,000 earmarked for philanthropy. My son is studying PG in a government college with Rs 8,000 per month expenses. I do not have any loans or marriage liability. I seek decent earnings from investments. Please advise me on how to invest to receive monthly Rs 1-1.2 lakh per month. Also, what should I do with the corpus from NPS? Suggest investment avenues for my situation.
Ans: You are retiring soon with a corpus of Rs. 1.5 crore. Living in Delhi NCR on rent will require strategic financial planning. Your monthly expenses of Rs. 36,000 (rent, food, conveyance, philanthropy, and your son's expenses) need Rs. 1-1.2 lakh monthly income for comfort and contingencies. A structured investment plan will ensure steady income and preserve your corpus.

Let’s explore how to manage your investments to meet your needs.

Allocation of Retirement Corpus
Your corpus should be diversified into equity, debt, and liquid instruments. This ensures stable returns, growth, and liquidity. A mix of growth and income-focused investments is essential.

Emergency Fund
Set aside Rs. 10-12 lakh for emergencies.

Park this in liquid funds or a high-interest savings account.

This fund will provide immediate access to money when needed.

Monthly Income Plan
To achieve Rs. 1-1.2 lakh per month, invest across growth and income-oriented instruments.

Allocate 60% to fixed-income instruments for stability.

Allocate 30% to equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Allocate 10% to liquid funds for short-term needs.

Fixed-Income Instruments
Invest in senior citizen savings schemes for assured returns.

Use corporate deposits or bonds for additional fixed returns.

Ladder your investments in fixed deposits for liquidity.

Debt mutual funds can also provide stable income with better tax efficiency.

Equity Investments
Invest in actively managed mutual funds for wealth growth.

Choose balanced advantage or hybrid funds to reduce risk.

Allocate some amount to large-cap and flexi-cap funds.

Avoid overexposure to high-risk funds like small-caps.

Liquid and Short-Term Instruments
Park Rs. 15-20 lakh in liquid or ultra-short-term funds.

These funds are ideal for monthly withdrawals and short-term needs.

Withdraw only what is required to avoid depleting the principal amount.

Managing NPS Corpus
Your NPS corpus will partially need annuitisation.

Use the 60% withdrawable amount for investment as per the above plan.

Invest 40% in an annuity as per NPS rules for stable monthly income.

Choose the annuity plan offering the best return and lowest charges.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning will maximise your post-tax income.

Income from senior citizen savings schemes and fixed deposits is taxable.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Use Section 80C for additional savings by investing in tax-saving instruments.

Additional Considerations
Rental Expense
Rent will form a significant part of your monthly expenses.

Consider negotiating or selecting a reasonably priced 3 BHK within your budget.

Philanthropy
Allocate Rs. 10,000 monthly for philanthropy as planned.

Ensure your primary financial goals are not compromised.

Son's Education
Continue to allocate Rs. 8,000 monthly for your son’s education.

Plan for any additional educational needs over the next few years.

Monitoring and Adjustments
Review your investments every 6 months.

Adjust allocations based on market performance and changing needs.

Reinvest surplus income to grow your corpus further.

Finally
You have a solid foundation for retirement with Rs. 1.5 crore corpus. By diversifying investments and planning withdrawals, you can comfortably meet your monthly needs. Periodic reviews will ensure your financial plan stays on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7612 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

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Money
Hello Sir, Please review my portfolio: 1. jm aggressive hybrid fund - 1000 2. ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund - 4000 3. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - 4000 4. Nippon India small cap - 4000 5. Bandhan Small Cap Fund - 2000 6. Motilal oswal Midcap fund - 2000 7. Bandhan Nifty Alpha Low Volatility 30 Index - 1000 Time Horizon is more than 15 years. I am planning to increase my SIP from 18000 per month to 60000 per month.
Ans: Your portfolio is well-structured and diversified across various mutual fund categories. You have selected a mix of equity, hybrid, and small-cap funds, reflecting a balanced approach. However, there is room for optimisation to align with your increased SIP and long-term horizon of over 15 years. Let’s review each component and suggest improvements.

Analysis of Existing Funds
JM Aggressive Hybrid Fund – Rs. 1,000
Aggressive hybrid funds are suitable for moderate risk-takers.

This fund allocates around 65-80% to equity and the rest to debt.

Evaluate its historical performance compared to peers.

Consider continuing only if it has consistently outperformed similar funds.

ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund – Rs. 4,000
Large-cap funds are ideal for stability and consistent returns.

This fund invests in established companies with strong fundamentals.

Retain this fund as it provides a solid foundation to your portfolio.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 4,000
A flexi-cap fund offers diversification across market capitalisations.

This fund’s global exposure adds a unique advantage.

Retain this fund for its flexibility and global equity component.

Nippon India Small Cap Fund – Rs. 4,000
Small-cap funds offer high growth potential but come with higher risks.

Retain this fund, considering your long-term horizon.

Avoid over-allocation to small caps to reduce volatility.

Bandhan Small Cap Fund – Rs. 2,000
Another small-cap fund increases concentration in this category.

Review its performance and consider merging with Nippon India Small Cap Fund.

Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs. 2,000
Mid-cap funds balance growth and risk well over the long term.

Retain this fund to maintain exposure to mid-sized companies.

Evaluate its performance against peers periodically.

Bandhan Nifty Alpha Low Volatility 30 Index – Rs. 1,000
Index funds are cost-efficient but lack active management benefits.

Low-volatility indices may not outperform actively managed funds in the long run.

Consider replacing this with an actively managed fund for better returns.

Portfolio Recommendations
Consolidation of Funds
Reduce the number of small-cap funds by merging Bandhan Small Cap into Nippon India Small Cap.

Replace the Bandhan Nifty Alpha Low Volatility Index fund with an actively managed multicap or flexicap fund.

Increasing SIP Amounts
With an increased SIP of Rs. 60,000, focus on reallocating funds wisely.

Allocate 40% to large-cap and flexi-cap funds for stability and growth.

Allocate 30% to mid-cap funds for higher growth potential.

Allocate 20% to small-cap funds to leverage long-term growth.

Allocate 10% to hybrid or debt funds for stability and risk mitigation.

Suggested Allocation Plan
ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 12,000 for stability.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 12,000 for diversification.

Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 10,000 for mid-cap exposure.

Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 8,000 for small-cap growth.

JM Aggressive Hybrid Fund: Increase SIP to Rs. 6,000 for moderate risk exposure.

New Flexi-Cap/Hybrid Fund: Add Rs. 12,000 SIP for broader diversification.

Tax Implications
Equity Mutual Funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.

Monitoring and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio at least once a year.

Check fund performance and make adjustments if needed.

Maintain a balanced allocation based on changing market conditions.

Emergency Fund and Liquidity
Ensure a contingency fund of at least 6 months’ expenses.

Retain this amount in liquid funds or FDs for immediate access.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio is strong but needs some restructuring. Focus on stability, growth, and risk diversification. Your increased SIP will enhance wealth creation significantly over 15 years. Regular monitoring with a Certified Financial Planner will keep your investments aligned with goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7612 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 40 year old have 1 daughter aged 8 years current monthly expenses 60 thousand. I have 30 lakh in PF, 25 lakh in stocks, 40 lakh in fd,50 lakh cash, 35 lakh gold, own apartment no loan, 4 crore in real-estate. Please suggest what should I do if I want to retire in the next 2 years.
Ans: You are in an excellent financial position with diverse investments and no liabilities. Your assets, including real estate, provide a strong foundation for early retirement. Let’s review your financials and create a plan to achieve financial independence and maintain a comfortable lifestyle post-retirement.

Existing Financial Resources
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 30 lakhs – A stable, low-risk investment.

Stocks: Rs. 25 lakhs – Offers growth potential but comes with market risks.

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 40 lakhs – A safe but low-yielding investment.

Cash: Rs. 50 lakhs – Ensures liquidity but does not generate returns.

Gold: Rs. 35 lakhs – A hedge against inflation but low on income generation.

Real Estate: Rs. 4 crore – Significant wealth but lacks liquidity unless rented or sold.

Own Apartment: Debt-free asset ensuring housing security.

Monthly Expense Assessment
Your current monthly expenses are Rs. 60,000.

Adjust this amount for inflation (assume 6-7% annually) to estimate future needs.

In two years, your monthly expenses will rise to approximately Rs. 68,000-70,000.

Retirement Goals
Your goals should include:

Securing a steady income for life.

Funding your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

Managing inflation and healthcare costs.

Preserving your wealth and passing it to the next generation.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Provident Fund
Keep the PF corpus as is until retirement.

Post-retirement, use this for regular withdrawals to supplement income.

Consider transferring part of the amount to a safe debt mutual fund for better liquidity.

Stocks
Diversify your stock portfolio into equity mutual funds.

Actively managed funds can offer professional management and better long-term returns.

Avoid holding only direct stocks as they are riskier.

Fixed Deposits
Reduce the allocation to fixed deposits as they generate low post-tax returns.

Reallocate funds to debt mutual funds for higher returns with moderate risk.

Retain Rs. 10-15 lakhs in FDs for emergency use.

Cash
Keep Rs. 10-15 lakhs as a contingency fund.

Invest the remaining Rs. 35-40 lakhs in hybrid mutual funds.

This will provide a balance of growth and stability.

Gold
Retain gold primarily as a wealth preservation tool.

Avoid increasing your allocation to gold as it does not generate income.

Real Estate
Explore renting out one of your real estate properties to generate monthly rental income.

Avoid depending entirely on real estate as it lacks liquidity.

Consider selling underperforming real estate and investing proceeds in mutual funds.

Retirement Income Plan
Systematic Withdrawal
Post-retirement, use systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWPs can generate tax-efficient regular cash flows.

Supplement SWPs with PF withdrawals as needed.

Rental Income
Rental income from real estate can form a stable part of your retirement income.

Estimate a conservative rental yield of 2-3% annually on property value.

Gold Monetisation
Use gold monetisation schemes to earn interest on idle gold.

Avoid selling gold unless absolutely necessary.

Daughter’s Education and Marriage
Start a dedicated corpus for your daughter’s education and marriage.

Invest Rs. 20-25 lakhs in a mix of equity and balanced mutual funds.

Ensure investments align with her educational milestones.

Review this corpus periodically to ensure it meets future needs.

Inflation Management
Inflation will erode the value of your corpus over time.

Maintain a 60:40 allocation between equity and debt to beat inflation.

Equity exposure will provide growth, while debt ensures stability.

Healthcare and Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance for yourself and your family.

Opt for a sum assured of at least Rs. 25-30 lakhs.

Consider adding a super top-up plan for additional coverage.

If you do not have term insurance, consider a policy until your daughter becomes independent.

Tax-Efficient Planning
Equity mutual funds offer long-term tax benefits. Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab. Plan withdrawals carefully to reduce tax impact.

Rental income is taxable. Use deductions like property tax and maintenance costs to lower taxable income.

Investment Rebalancing
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.

Reduce exposure to high-risk assets as you near retirement.

Increase debt and hybrid fund allocations for stability.

Final Insights
You have a strong financial foundation to retire early. Focus on liquidity, steady income, and inflation protection. A mix of rental income, SWPs, and PF withdrawals will ensure a secure retirement. Periodic reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will keep your plan on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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