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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |521 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship

my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry this is my first relationship what should i do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There can be several reasons for her behavior; she might not have completely moved on from her ex, or she might think that the current relationship is too new to get intimate. Or there can be some completely different reason for this. My point is that only she knows what she is thinking. You can try asking her directly, but if she says she isn't ready for intimacy, do not try to convince her. If that does not work out for you, or if you think she isn't giving you the love and attention you deserve, you can always rethink the relationship. It's only been 2 months. You still have time to reconsider and not be terribly heartbroken.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |521 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Before coming into our relationship I knew that my girlfriend had a past relationship of 3 years. I asked about it just to clarify if anything was there which will harm our upcoming relationship we gona Start. She mentioned that she did not liked her past relationship and other stuff and she mentioned she had not any physical relationship of any kind with her ex . But now after we came into relationship after 2 years. I found out that she had a physical relationship with her ex . But no intercourse but other stuff. I could not believe her words when she told all this and she been laying all the things I asked if it was your first time and other things. I had no such relationship as of myself and told her that I hate such types where u already experienced stuffs with others . What should I do . I like her too she too loves me . But the thing I found out haunts me and make me fill miserable
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are hurting but her past truly should not matter to you in the present. Ideally, I am not in favor of pushing people to disclose their past experiences, especially if they are not comfortable with it. But I agree that she was wrong to get into a relationship with you when you specifically showed dislike towards the things you mentioned. I suppose she liked you too much and did not want to ruin her chances. I should also mention that judging a person by their past or because they had certain kinds of relations with their ex is not fair; you were not in the picture. Regardless of it, your pain is valid. It isn't easy to come to terms with new information about your partner's past.

Now hear me out, past is in the past. It can only hurt you if you let it. Think about it properly- did she do anything in the present to hurt you? NO. Can you or she change the past? NO. Should she apologize for having a past? NO. Should you move past this and work towards a better future? That's the only thing in your control. Chose wisely. If you think you will hold her accountable for this forever, then you both should reconsider this relationship. If you think this fight is meaningless, and want to move forward with your relationship, then great.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |521 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7887 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Money
I am 47 years old and currently working in software, while my wife is employed with BSNL. Together, we have accumulated around ₹3 crore and are considering retirement. My wife is willing to continue working for another five years, but due to the pressure from my job, I am thinking of retiring now. We have a 14-year-old son, and I am happy to say that we have no outstanding loans. Additionally, we have health insurance coverage of ₹15 lakh, as well as personal and term insurance ₹1 crore. Below are the details of our savings: PPF: ₹32,65,920 FD: ₹20,60,820 Stocks, Mutual Funds & Company Stocks: ₹72,73,750 EPF: ₹69,98,400 Gold: ₹10,60,900 ICICI Pru: ₹15,14,240 Real Estate: ₹31,21,200 LIC: ₹21,63,200 HDFC ERGO: ₹3,30,750 Cash: ₹5,20,200 My Gratuity: ₹7,28,280 Wife Gratuity : ₹4,16,160 Given these savings, could you please advise if our corpus will be sufficient for retirement? Or would you recommend that I continue working for a few more years? I feel like I am ready to retire, but I need your guidance.
Ans: Your financial planning is already strong. You have a well-diversified portfolio, no liabilities, and a supportive spouse who is willing to work for five more years. This puts you in a comfortable position to consider early retirement. However, we need to assess whether your current corpus can sustain your retirement needs for the next several decades.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Your Age: 47 years
Wife’s Age: Not mentioned, but assuming similar age
Son’s Age: 14 years
Total Corpus: Around Rs. 3 crore
Health Insurance: Rs. 15 lakh coverage
Life Insurance: Rs. 1 crore term insurance
Wife’s Job Stability: Will continue for five more years
No Outstanding Loans: Financially stress-free situation
Your financial discipline is strong. However, early retirement requires careful planning to ensure long-term financial security.

Breakdown of Your Assets and Their Role in Retirement
1. Liquid and Fixed Income Assets
PPF: Rs. 32.65 lakh
Fixed Deposits: Rs. 20.60 lakh
EPF: Rs. 69.98 lakh
Cash: Rs. 5.20 lakh
These funds provide stability but have limited growth potential. They can help with short-term needs but should not be over-relied upon for long-term wealth creation.

2. Market-Linked Investments
Stocks, Mutual Funds & Company Stocks: Rs. 72.73 lakh
These investments can generate high long-term returns. However, market volatility can impact short-term liquidity. A proper withdrawal strategy is essential.

3. Precious Metals and Insurance Policies
Gold: Rs. 10.60 lakh (Good for diversification but should not be considered for regular income)
ICICI Pru: Rs. 15.14 lakh (If it is a ULIP or endowment plan, consider exiting)
LIC Policy: Rs. 21.63 lakh (Check surrender value and shift to better options if it’s a traditional plan)
HDFC ERGO: Rs. 3.30 lakh (Assuming this is a general insurance policy, it is not an investment asset)
4. Real Estate Holdings
Real Estate: Rs. 31.21 lakh
Real estate is an illiquid asset. It should not be relied upon for regular retirement income unless it is rental property generating passive cash flow.

5. Retirement Benefits
Your Gratuity: Rs. 7.28 lakh
Wife’s Gratuity: Rs. 4.16 lakh
These funds will be received at retirement and can act as a financial cushion.

Retirement Feasibility Analysis
1. Expected Expenses in Retirement
Your current expenses need to be evaluated. Retirement expenses may include:

Household expenses
Medical costs
Child’s education
Lifestyle expenses
Travel and leisure
Inflation will erode purchasing power. A corpus that looks sufficient today may not last 30+ years without proper planning.

Major future expenses:

Son’s higher education: Can range from Rs. 30-80 lakh depending on domestic or international education.
Medical expenses: As you age, medical costs will rise.
2. Income Sources Post-Retirement
Your wife’s salary for five more years provides financial support.
Your investments need to generate passive income.
Health insurance is in place but may need enhancement.
Life insurance (term plan) is for dependents, not for investment.
Key Action Points for a Secure Retirement
1. Decide Whether to Retire Now or Work a Few More Years
If you retire now:

You must rely on investments to cover expenses.
You need a withdrawal strategy to sustain a 30+ year retirement.
You must ensure your portfolio can beat inflation.
If you work for a few more years:

You can build a bigger corpus.
You can cover your son’s higher education expenses comfortably.
You can retire with more financial security.
2. Restructure Investments for Growth and Stability
Exit underperforming insurance policies. LIC, ICICI Pru, and any endowment or ULIP plans should be surrendered, and funds should be reinvested in mutual funds.
Enhance your equity exposure. Keep a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for steady growth.
Increase debt exposure selectively. Use short-duration debt funds or bonds to generate stable returns.
Create a systematic withdrawal plan. This ensures a steady cash flow during retirement.
3. Build an Emergency and Health Fund
Keep at least two years’ expenses in a liquid fund. This helps manage any immediate financial needs.
Increase health insurance beyond Rs. 15 lakh. Medical inflation is high. Consider adding a super top-up plan.
4. Plan for Child’s Education
Keep a dedicated fund for your son’s education. A mix of mutual funds and fixed-income assets is ideal.
Ensure adequate coverage. If something happens to you, your son’s future should be secure.
5. Tax-Efficient Withdrawal Planning
Mutual fund capital gains taxation:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt fund taxation:
Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
PPF and EPF withdrawals are tax-free. These should be used strategically.
Finally
Retiring now is possible, but you must have a strong withdrawal plan.
If you work for a few more years, your retirement will be financially safer.
Reallocate low-return assets into high-growth investments.
Ensure medical and emergency funds are sufficient.
Plan your withdrawals tax-efficiently.
If you feel mentally ready to retire, you can do so with a clear financial strategy. However, working for a few more years will provide greater long-term stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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