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Husband's Affair With Assistant: How to Cope?

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Good evening.i am married for for 16 years.we don't have kids.recently I came to know of my husband's relationship with his asst.i confronted.they denied.i don't have evidence.i asked him to fire his asst.he refused and wants to continue her gf or any amount of time.says she's good at work he is dependent on her in his clinic.what do I do.i cannot continue with him with this suspicion.please advice

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, this is not something that you want to put up with.
2 ways of approaching this:
1. Wait it out; don't say a word about it to him... Very difficult, but as the fling attraction stops, the affair will stop as well. (Maybe he doesn't deserve this BUT it's up to you)
2. Give him an ultimatum; which means you take a bold step of stepping out in case he does not change. (Again this is up to you as it's not easy taking this decision)

See which of the two is something that can work for you. You could also try and involve someone trustworthy who can talk to him out of it. Do this only as long as you trust the person.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Relationship1Reply

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi

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I am married for 15 years .my husband has relationship with his asst since 7 years.i came to know recently.he denies.we don't have kids.i love him.whats Good for me .leave him or any other option

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure that must have been shocking. When you got to know about the relationship of your husband with his assistant, did you confront your husband with it?
If Yes, what did he have to say? Did you ask him if he is interested in working on the marriage? Do you want to also be in the marriage?
If No, why haven't you confronted him on it as yet?

Confrontations can in a dead-end situation be an indication to what action to take next. If he is cool and unbothered, then you know he doesn't care how this affects you.
if he yells and threatens you, you know that he wants you to stay out of his business.
If he apologizes, the you need to assess how genuine it is and then think if you wish to continue as well.

Since, I don't have information on whether this subtle confrontation happened or not, my suggestions are a little general, but do pick off of them and work on it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Question by Yukti - Jul 30, 2024Hindi

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Hii I am 34 years women .I have a relationship with another person he is 39 years old .we meet and we fell in love together coz we both r not happy in our marital life .and we both are in love actually now we are not in relationship with her wife and my husband but I think he is cheating me he have also a relation with her wife .I ask him clearly many times but he dny every time .plz guide me what I will do

Ans: Dear Yukti,

If you are having some doubt, chances are there have been signs that made you think so. The best case scenario is to ask him again and if his explanations don't align, please reconsider this relationship. You are not obligated to stay with a man who is making you paranoid.

I am sorry I cannot be of much help because I am not clear on the dynamics of your relationship. Are you separated, are you divorced, do your partners know about your relationships, everything matters.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Good evening.i am married for 15: years to a man against my parents wishes we don't have kids.5months back i came to know he has a link with his assistant since some time.i asked them.they asked me for proofs.i don't have.i asked him to send her off.he refused.i am totally disturbed.please advice whether or not to continue with my husband.thank you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's sad that instead of reassuring you, your husband asks you for proof. But, you have not shared how you 'came to know that he has a link' with his assistant. This is vital information as it will not just gather proof but will also tell you how your husband views the marriage and whether he has any interest in continuing.
Now, whether you must continue or not, is a decision you must make based on all the evidences that you gather and also finding out from your husband if this marriage is important to him as well. Then things will give you clarity into making a decision. So, how did you come to know and what actually made you suspect him?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1563 Answers |Ask -Follow

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Question by Likitha - Dec 14, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Dear Madam, I am married for 4 years my married life was going well but my husband joined in one hospital as Supervisor there he started talking with one women at first he used to talk with her as friend but he started sharing his work pressure and every issue with that women and friendship turned into affair i spoke to him lot of times not to do this i also informed his family member and my family member in front of them he is just saying she is my friend thats it but i know its beyond friendship because i have seen there whatsapp chats and phone calls what should i do i working women can please give me advise

Ans: Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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