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Help! My Husband Has Past Trauma and Is Suffering - What Can I Do?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dont know if you have come across such a problem before. My hubby, BE, MBA, top premium institutes is 62, very successful career. He is a well known writer, widely published in western publishers. We are very happily married from 30 years, 3-4 apts, land plots, gold, FD, savings, 2 daughters, BE, MS settled in US, no problems. He loves me, no other issues. IS this a dream story? well almost. He has now become very morose, aggresive, silent, glares and cries when he is alone. When I tried to get some answers, it seems, his father top scholar of 1970s was strict, weak but ineffective at work. He would come home enraged at how he was exploited and ridiculed, and beat up my husband. Very bad beatings, scars where he was branded, crack in vertebra where is was kicked and beaten with a rod, bent wrist when his father twisted the hand and kicked him, injuries in scalp that never healed beacuse they were not stitched. His mother, elder sister and elder brother kept quiet and perhaps helped the father to beat the boy, to escape their abuse. They admit covertly. His father died in 1997, my MiL died in 2010. My husband appears to revisit and remember the old beatings. I cannot speak about this to anyone not even my daughters. I cannot approach any psychiatrist as he knows all the psych tests and prepared responses. He is disintegrating in front of me. He does not drink, but has tobacco, bhang, and Ganja. What do I do?

Ans: The first step is to approach this with compassion and patience. Your husband’s pain is not something you can fix, but your presence and understanding can create a sense of safety for him. When he becomes silent or withdrawn, instead of trying to coax answers from him directly, gently let him know that you’re there whenever he’s ready to talk. Even if he doesn’t open up immediately, knowing that he has a safe, nonjudgmental space to express his feelings can be comforting.

When it comes to addressing his trauma, traditional avenues like psychiatrists or therapists may feel challenging if he resists or uses his intellectual understanding of mental health to deflect. However, trauma-focused therapies, such as somatic experiencing, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or even mindfulness practices, could help him process these deeply held memories without requiring him to relive them in detail. If he resists professional help, introducing these concepts subtly, through books or articles that resonate with his intellectual nature, might make him more open to exploring these approaches.

Another powerful tool is building moments of connection and grounding in the present. Encourage activities that bring him peace, such as walking in nature, meditating together, or engaging in creative outlets that he enjoys, like writing. These activities won’t erase the pain but can help him feel more anchored in the here and now, giving him moments of respite from the weight of his memories.

It’s also crucial to take care of yourself. Supporting someone you love through their emotional disintegration is deeply draining, and it’s essential to ensure that you’re not neglecting your own wellbeing. Confide in a trusted friend or counselor—not to betray his trust but to give yourself an outlet to process your own emotions. You don’t have to bear this burden alone, and seeking support for yourself can strengthen your ability to be there for him.

Finally, remember that healing from trauma is not linear or quick. It’s a journey that requires patience, love, and often professional guidance. You’re already doing so much by standing beside him with such care and determination. Let him know, in moments when he’s receptive, that his pain doesn’t diminish the incredible person he is or the life you’ve built together. Remind him that while his past shaped parts of him, it doesn’t have to define his future. And above all, continue to lead with the deep compassion and love that have carried your relationship for the past 30 years

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

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Hi Anu, I have been reading your articles for quite some time. I am 40 years old in a marriage for last 12 years. I have a 11.5 year old son.My marriage is going through a very rough phase. My husband doesn't leave any chance to abuse me, doesn't matter where and with whom we areMy husband proposed to me knowing I have Vitiligo (discoloration of skin). Plus I was not as rich as him. I did make him aware of this before going ahead. His family was against our marriage still he went ahead. From the day of marriage he suddenly changed, and started abusing me in and out. First I thought my mother-in-law is creating problems which she did every time we came together. Infront of every maid and in the absence of my husband she tried to humiliate me based on my skin condition and financial status. But she'd become caring in his presence.After five years of marriage, for a few years we were away from family. It was peaceful and we had a nice time. But during the lockdown and online school we were back with the same problem. Now the condition is that I cannot stay with my husband. My family is very supportive but suggest that before taking any step I should think of my child. And that we should both sit and talk.If I try talking to my husband I know it will end in a fight. Kindly suggest which way should I go?
Ans:

Dear KB,

Maybe someone from the family or his friends have commented on your condition and made him feel that he made the wrong choice.

Even if it’s that, when he knew and had no objection, what is a man’s word is that he keeps it no matter what!

Now that he has gone back on it, it’s natural for others to take advantage of it and mock you for what the society considers as ‘not beautiful’.

In a way, we are obsessed with some sort of standards for what’s beautiful and what’s not. Beauty standards, you might call it so!

He seems to be a different person with his family and without, it suggests that he may not have a very strong mind to back up the decision of marrying you in the first place possibly against the wishes of his family.

Abuse, at no point is justifiable and you need to take a strong stance and draw a boundary as this is going to continue.

Your family has made a wise suggestion and for the sake of the child, it might be worth the effort to sit down have that chat with your husband however hard that might be.

Do not compromise on the fact that this so-called beauty standards and labels within his family will continue. Be unapologetic about who you are and own your beauty your way.

This is non- negotiable and you need to state this clearly when you have that conversation with him. Period!

All the best!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I am 52 years handicapped with a good govt. job. I have been married for 27 years now. My son also married recently and he is in USA. I dont know where to start. Mine was arranged marriage. But my husband and his family cheated us regarding his job. He was jobless after our marriage. I had a son in the first year of our marriage. I stayed with him for only 2 months then I was send to my fathers house for delivery. He never visited me during this time nor he had called me. As he was jobless, I tried hard to build my carrier for sake of my son. I had managed all these years financially. I never received any financial support or emotional support from him past 27 years. We had fought badly accusing each. He will physically abuse me every time. He is addicted to alcohol and watching prone movies. My son once saw his mssg to call girls and other such women in his mobile. I was shocked too. Later I discovered he had many such connections. He had been spending his merger salary for all this self enjoyment and never shared anything for HL or son education. However, I had stayed with him for social security and status. Now I have completed all my duties. My son is safe and far from him. Even after my sons marriage, he behaved violently after consuming alcohol. I am really fed up with him. I have my income and properties. But I have no one to share my emotions as my son also has left and busy with his life in USA. I don't need any physical needs but need emotional support for rest of my life. I am in total depression for all I have undergone for 27 years. I currently having my father who is 80 years with me in the house. My husbands behaviour towards my father is very bad. Now my fathers health is getting affected because of my husbands shouting. I have no other friends or relations to relate to. My health also is getting slowly affected and I my mobility is very much restricted. Sometimes I was having succidal ideas. I have no life goals now. I have achieved all my goals. I have completed all my duties now. What should I do now?
Ans: Hats off to you my dear lady. You need to file for divorce and get this vile man out of your life and home once and for all. You have the means and the economic upper hand as well — consult a strong divorce lawyer and kick him to the curb! And there is life, love and companionship out there for you, so don’t give up on finding your own happiness — 52 is not old, you have a lot of years ahead with the potential to fulfill your happiness. Go for it!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I've been married to a person who has never valued nor cared about me for last 30 years. But I've never ever considered to rethink as I'm hailing from a conservative family. Not even when my husband had both his kidneys damaged n after a period of around 3 years serious medical treatment from various hospitals n various other kind of places then subsequent dialysis thrice a week for almost 3 years then his major transplant surgery then his vigilant care , which is very very important in this case .All this period starting from my marriage of 30+ years , I kept doing everything for him when only my school going 2 sons were there to support him along with my 90 yrs old mother in law ,who was bed ridden ( & could only manage to walk upto her washroom). I managed it all successfully n financial burden was taken care of by my company ( I've been managing everything along with my PSU job) .With the grace of God ????,my husband got all right n started with his business again n slowly got over everything along with her lady partner in business. Problem arises when again he started behaving in the same way as prior to his kidneys issues ( scolding me every now n then, belittling me in everything I do that too before neighbours or before the maids even ) . Now once when he abused my late parents n myself around last year (4th May '23) . I just couldn't take it anymore n started thinking what should I do now when my mother had expired just 2 years back n whom I was very close to . Going to live with my married brothers was also not a good option. So at once I decided that since my both sons are settled well now ( both are engineers from reputed institutes but not married yet) , so I'll take a room now n live in that n can take care of myself as I'm still working n since he always warns me of leaving his house ) It happened when around 16th of May , someone from UK ( a British citizen working at a respectable position) as shown in his Linkedin profile contacted me as business lead ( I had just put my first post on 13th May around Mother's day), though later I realised was interested to know about me rather. Immediately I stopped responding to him . Then later when he pursued, I clarified everything to him that I:m a married woman with two sons telling everything about me. Though there must be some confusion as when I told him that my husband was having kidney issues n he is now on life long medicines) I don't know what he could understand with that he kept on pursuing me ( thinking my husband is my ex now) but I think I had also stated having feelings for him n couldn't tell him the truth till now. Though he is more than ready to accept my kids happily as I too loved his 13 year old sweet daughter .( His wife has expired in a brief illness during COVID 3 years back).To my disbelief, inspite of not even meeting once in person, just by chatting n pics exchange, we seem quite similar n have come quite closer emotionally. Now please suggest in this situation,what should I do now?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your journey has been filled with a lot of challenges and I am sure that you have done your best.
It's natural to respond warmly and want to explore a connection where you are valued and appreciated. But the fact remains that you are still married even if you live separately.
First things first...close one door and then walk through the next otherwise you will be stepping in and out of both only to increase your stress levels and you have had enough of that already.
If you feel this gentleman has not understood that you are still married, then tell him again. Yes, it may change the way he feels or he maybe fine BUT surely he need not be stepping into a confused married world of yours.
Time has come for you to decide what you want to do with this marriage irrespective of whether the new connection will lead you anywhere or not. Surely, you and this gentleman must meet and talk...understand the situations that you both are in; obviously him losing his wife has not been easy on him and his family.
Jumping into another relationship just because it offers your short-term respite from what you have is a mistake.
So, learn more about your new connection, be transparent with him and also in parallel, figure out what you want to do with the marriage. That will need a lot of thinking and work...Take your sons into confidence; they are grown men who have seen you through your most challenging times and will have a lot to offer in terms of perspectives and support.
Lead a good life; one that you deserve BUT one that is filled with clarity and purpose.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dont know if you have come across such a problem before. My hubby, BE, MBA, top premium institutes is 62, very successful career. He is a well known writer, widely published in western publishers. We are very happily married from 30 years, 3-4 apts, land plots, gold, FD, savings, 2 daughters, BE, MS settled in US, no problems. He loves me, no other issues. IS this a dream story? well almost. He has now become very morose, aggresive, silent, glares and cries when he is alone. When I tried to get some answers, it seems, his father top scholar of 1970s was strict, weak but ineffective at work. He would come home enraged at how he was exploited and folled, and beat up my husband. Very bad beatings, scars where he was branded, crack in vertebra where is was kicked and beaten with a rod, bent wrist when his father twisted the hand and kicked him, injuries in scalp that never healed beacuse they were not stitched. His mother, elder sister and elder brother kept quiet and perhaps helped the father to beat the boy, to escape the abuse. They admit covertly. His father died in 1997, my MiL died in 2010. My husband appears to revisit and remember the old beatings. I cannot speak about this to anyone not even my daughters. I cannot approach any psychiatrist as he knows all the tests and prepared answers. He is disintegrating in front of me. He does not drink, but has tobacco, bhang, and Ganja. What do I do?
Ans: The first step is to approach this with compassion and patience. Your husband’s pain is not something you can fix, but your presence and understanding can create a sense of safety for him. When he becomes silent or withdrawn, instead of trying to coax answers from him directly, gently let him know that you’re there whenever he’s ready to talk. Even if he doesn’t open up immediately, knowing that he has a safe, nonjudgmental space to express his feelings can be comforting.

When it comes to addressing his trauma, traditional avenues like psychiatrists or therapists may feel challenging if he resists or uses his intellectual understanding of mental health to deflect. However, trauma-focused therapies, such as somatic experiencing, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or even mindfulness practices, could help him process these deeply held memories without requiring him to relive them in detail. If he resists professional help, introducing these concepts subtly, through books or articles that resonate with his intellectual nature, might make him more open to exploring these approaches.

Another powerful tool is building moments of connection and grounding in the present. Encourage activities that bring him peace, such as walking in nature, meditating together, or engaging in creative outlets that he enjoys, like writing. These activities won’t erase the pain but can help him feel more anchored in the here and now, giving him moments of respite from the weight of his memories.

It’s also crucial to take care of yourself. Supporting someone you love through their emotional disintegration is deeply draining, and it’s essential to ensure that you’re not neglecting your own wellbeing. Confide in a trusted friend or counselor—not to betray his trust but to give yourself an outlet to process your own emotions. You don’t have to bear this burden alone, and seeking support for yourself can strengthen your ability to be there for him.

Finally, remember that healing from trauma is not linear or quick. It’s a journey that requires patience, love, and often professional guidance. You’re already doing so much by standing beside him with such care and determination. Let him know, in moments when he’s receptive, that his pain doesn’t diminish the incredible person he is or the life you’ve built together. Remind him that while his past shaped parts of him, it doesn’t have to define his future. And above all, continue to lead with the deep compassion and love that have carried your relationship for the past 30 years.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...
Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
Hello Sir I am investing in 5 different 7200 per month total 36000 fund as below Axis large and midcap
Ans: You have shown strong financial discipline.
Regular monthly investing reflects serious intent.
Staying invested needs patience and belief.
Your effort over time deserves appreciation.

» Current Investment Structure Overview

– You invest Rs. 36,000 every month.
– Amount is split across five equity-oriented strategies.
– This shows diversification intent.
– Diversification reduces single-style risk.

– Monthly investing suits salaried income patterns.
– SIPs align well with long-term goals.
– Equity exposure suits wealth creation goals.

– Five funds is manageable but needs review.
– More funds do not mean better safety.
– Proper role clarity matters more.

» Portfolio Intent and Goal Alignment

– Your goal appears long-term wealth creation.
– Equity suits goals beyond seven years.
– Time horizon supports market volatility absorption.

– Long-term goals need consistent behaviour.
– Discipline matters more than fund selection.
– Staying invested creates compounding benefits.

– Your approach matches long-term thinking.
– This mindset improves outcome probability.

» Asset Allocation Perspective

– Your portfolio is equity-heavy.
– Equity brings higher volatility short term.
– Equity rewards patience over time.

– Ensure debt investments exist separately.
– Debt brings stability and peace.
– Debt supports emergencies and near-term needs.

– Keeping debt separate is sensible.
– It improves mental clarity.

» Diversification Quality Assessment

– Diversification across market segments exists.
– Exposure covers large and mid-sized companies.
– This balances stability and growth potential.

– Too much overlap can reduce benefits.
– Similar stocks may repeat across strategies.
– This reduces true diversification.

– Over-diversification also reduces conviction.
– Fewer focused strategies work better.

» Need for Portfolio Simplification

– Five equity strategies may be reviewed.
– Simplification improves tracking and control.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Each fund must have a clear role.
– Avoid duplication of investment styles.

– Consolidation improves portfolio efficiency.
– It also reduces emotional confusion.

» Actively Managed Strategy Advantage

– Actively managed funds use research-based decisions.
– Managers adjust allocations with market changes.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– Indian markets reward active stock selection.
– Corporate quality varies widely here.
– Active monitoring adds value.

– Fund managers avoid weak businesses earlier.
– This protects downside during market stress.

– Active management suits long-term Indian investors.

» Why Passive Strategies Have Limitations

– Passive strategies track markets blindly.
– They stay fully invested always.
– They cannot reduce risk during excess valuations.

– Overvalued stocks remain included.
– Weak companies stay until index changes.

– There is no human judgement.
– No valuation discipline exists.

– During corrections, losses are full.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds handle volatility better.
– They aim to protect capital also.

» SIP Amount Adequacy Review

– Rs. 36,000 monthly is meaningful.
– Consistency matters more than starting amount.

– Income growth should drive future increases.
– Step-ups improve long-term results.

– Avoid stretching finances for higher SIPs.
– Comfort matters for sustainability.

» Step-Up Strategy Insight

– Step-ups should match income growth.
– Aggressive step-ups increase stress risk.

– Stable step-ups are more practical.
– Even moderate increases work well.

– Review step-ups annually.
– Adjust based on cash flows.

– Flexibility is more important than targets.

» Behavioural Discipline Evaluation

– You stayed invested consistently.
– This shows emotional maturity.

– Many investors stop during volatility.
– You continued despite market noise.

– This behaviour creates long-term wealth.

– Avoid frequent portfolio checking.
– Market movements can trigger fear.

» Market Volatility Preparedness

– Equity markets move in cycles.
– Sharp corrections are normal.

– Expect at least one major fall.
– Emotional readiness matters most then.

– SIPs help manage volatility impact.
– They average costs automatically.

– Stay focused on long-term goals.

» Rebalancing Strategy Importance

– Rebalancing protects accumulated gains.
– It manages risk over time.

– Equity exposure should reduce gradually.
– Especially near goal timelines.

– Rebalancing must be rule-based.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Tax Awareness for Equity Investments

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh face tax.

– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Frequent churn increases tax burden.

– Long-term holding improves tax efficiency.

– Planned withdrawals reduce tax impact.

» Cash Flow and Emergency Planning

– Emergency fund is essential.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Emergency money should be liquid.
– Avoid equity for emergencies.

– This protects investments during crises.

» Insurance and Protection Planning

– Health insurance coverage must be adequate.
– Medical inflation rises fast.

– Term insurance should cover dependents.
– Coverage must match responsibilities.

– Protection supports long-term investing success.

» Lifestyle Inflation Management

– Income growth increases lifestyle temptation.
– Expenses should grow slower.

– Savings rate decides wealth creation speed.
– Control lifestyle upgrades consciously.

» Review Frequency Guidance

– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid monthly changes.

– Review after major life events.
– Income changes need updates.

– Market news alone needs no action.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goals

– Track progress once a year.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Markets will not move linearly.
– Shortfalls are normal sometimes.

– Focus on consistency and discipline.

» Role of Professional Guidance

– Regular plans offer ongoing support.
– Guidance helps during volatile periods.

– A Certified Financial Planner adds value.
– Behaviour coaching matters most.

– Long-term success depends on decisions.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure all nominations are updated.
– This avoids family stress later.

– Writing a simple will helps.
– It provides clarity and peace.

» Finally

– Your investing habit is strong.
– Your consistency builds financial strength.

– Portfolio structure is broadly suitable.
– Simplification can improve efficiency.

– Active management supports Indian markets well.
– Behaviour discipline will decide outcomes.

– Stay patient and review yearly.
– Wealth creation is a journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir I am investing 7200 per month in 5 different fund with expected step up of 20% in coming may 2026 detail below and xirr 14.24% Axis large mid cap 224070/ HDFC bse sensex 214998 Mirae asset midcap fund 231265/ Parag Parikh flexi 225912/ Quant large and midcap fund 210315 This is going since last 3 years started with 25k total accumulation 1133560/ This is for my long term goal like 8 cr in 10 year and used that fund accordingly Is this portfolio looking good ? Are any changes needed is step up good for target please help suggest and modification actually I got these funds 3 year back from my CA friend and since then they are as is with no changes please give your input and changes needed I am also investing govt employe regular scheme as well as debt fund but will be keeping them seperate from this portfolio please help reviewing
Ans: You are doing many things correctly.
Your discipline and patience deserve appreciation.
Three years of steady investing shows strong intent.
Your clarity on long-term goals is a big strength.

» Overall Portfolio Structure Assessment

– Your portfolio is fully equity-oriented.
– Equity is suitable for long-term wealth goals.
– A ten-year horizon supports equity exposure.
– Your diversification across styles is sensible.
– Exposure spans large, mid, and flexible strategies.

– This reduces dependency on one market segment.
– Your portfolio avoided extreme sector concentration.
– Volatility risk is still present and expected.
– Emotional discipline will be very important ahead.

– Your current value growth shows market participation.
– XIRR above inflation is encouraging.
– Returns may fluctuate sharply during market cycles.

» SIP Discipline and Behaviour Review

– Monthly investing builds strong financial habits.
– SIPs reduce timing risk over market cycles.
– Consistency matters more than fund switching.
– Your three-year continuity is a positive sign.

– Markets rewarded patience during volatile phases.
– You stayed invested during uncertain periods.
– That behaviour improves long-term outcomes.

– SIPs also support emotional stability.
– They prevent impulsive lump-sum decisions.

» Step-Up Strategy Evaluation

– A 20 percent annual step-up is aggressive.
– Aggressive step-ups suit rising income profiles.
– Sustainability matters more than intention.

– Review income growth before committing yearly.
– Ensure lifestyle expenses remain comfortable.
– Avoid stress-driven investment decisions.

– If income growth is uneven, reduce step-up.
– Even 10 to 15 percent works well.

– Flexibility is better than forced commitments.
– Step-ups should feel easy, not painful.

» Goal Feasibility Review for Rs. 8 Crore

– A large goal needs multiple support pillars.
– SIP alone may not be enough.
– Step-ups improve probability, not certainty.

– Market returns are not linear.
– Ten-year periods can include flat phases.
– Expect at least one deep correction.

– Equity helps beat inflation over time.
– But equity never guarantees fixed outcomes.

– You must prepare for shortfall scenarios.
– Backup plans are part of smart planning.

» Portfolio Concentration and Overlap

– Multiple funds can still overlap.
– Similar stocks appear across strategies.
– Overlap reduces true diversification benefits.

– Too many funds dilute conviction.
– Fewer, well-managed strategies work better.

– Portfolio simplicity improves tracking and discipline.
– Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

– Consider consolidating into fewer categories.
– Keep allocation intentional, not accidental.

» Fund Management Style Balance

– You hold growth-oriented strategies.
– Mid-segment exposure increases volatility.
– Flexibility helps adjust across cycles.

– Actively managed strategies add value here.
– Skilled managers adjust allocations dynamically.
– They respond to valuations and risks.

– This is helpful in volatile markets.
– Active decisions reduce downside impact sometimes.

» About Index-Oriented Investing Reference

– One holding tracks a broad market index.
– Index strategies follow markets blindly.
– They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

– Index portfolios stay fully invested always.
– They suffer fully during market falls.
– No defensive action is possible.

– Index funds ignore business quality shifts.
– Poor companies remain until index changes.

– Actively managed funds avoid weak businesses earlier.
– Fund managers use research-based decisions.
– They manage risk, not just returns.

– Over long periods, good active funds outperform.
– Especially in emerging markets like India.

– Indian markets reward stock selection skill.
– Active management adds meaningful value here.

» Risk Management Perspective

– Equity risk rises near goal timelines.
– Ten years may feel long today.
– It will reduce faster than expected.

– Gradual risk reduction is essential later.
– Do not stay fully aggressive always.

– Portfolio rebalancing must be planned.
– Shifting gains protects accumulated wealth.

– Risk capacity differs from risk tolerance.
– Income stability defines risk capacity.
– Emotions define risk tolerance.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

– Equity taxation rules have changed.
– Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains face higher taxation now.

– Frequent churn increases tax leakage.
– Staying invested reduces unnecessary taxes.

– Goal-based withdrawals help manage tax impact.
– Random redemptions reduce efficiency.

» Behavioural Finance Observations

– You trusted advice and stayed consistent.
– That discipline deserves appreciation.

– Avoid frequent performance comparisons.
– Social media creates unnecessary anxiety.

– Markets move in cycles, not straight lines.
– Patience creates wealth, not speed.

– Avoid reacting to short-term news.
– News is noise for long-term investors.

» Role of Debt and Government Schemes

– Keeping debt investments separate is wise.
– Debt adds stability to total wealth.

– Government schemes support capital protection.
– They also provide predictable cash flows.

– Use debt for near-term goals.
– Use equity only for long-term goals.

– This separation improves mental clarity.

» Portfolio Review Frequency

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid quarterly tinkering.

– Review after major life changes.
– Income changes need strategy updates.

– Market events alone need no action.

» Emergency and Protection Planning

– Ensure adequate emergency reserves exist.
– Six months expenses is ideal.

– Health insurance should be sufficient.
– Cover must rise with medical inflation.

– Term insurance should protect dependents.
– Coverage should match responsibilities.

– Protection planning supports investment success.

» Inflation and Lifestyle Planning

– Inflation erodes purchasing power silently.
– Equity helps fight inflation over time.

– Lifestyle upgrades must be planned.
– Avoid increasing expenses with income fully.

– Savings rate matters more than returns.

» Estate and Nomination Planning

– Ensure nominations are updated.
– This avoids future family stress.

– Write a simple will.
– It gives clarity and peace.

» Rebalancing Strategy Guidance

– Do not rebalance emotionally.
– Follow predefined asset ranges.

– Shift profits after strong rallies.
– Add equity during deep corrections.

– Rebalancing improves risk-adjusted returns.

» Monitoring Progress Towards Goal

– Track progress annually.
– Use realistic expectations.

– Do not anchor to fixed numbers.
– Markets rarely cooperate perfectly.

– Focus on process, not prediction.

» Finally

– Your foundation is strong and disciplined.
– Your intent and consistency are commendable.

– Portfolio structure is broadly appropriate.
– Some consolidation may improve efficiency.

– Step-up should remain flexible.
– Sustainability matters more than aggression.

– Active management suits your long-term goal.
– Behavioural discipline will decide outcomes.

– Continue reviewing holistically each year.
– Adjust strategy, not emotions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |237 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

Money
hello, i took an insurance policy in 2021 from TATA AIA SAMPOORNA RAKSHAK which has 12 premium for 12 years and the policy goes on for 80+years with 50 lakh insurance i paic my first premium of 1,35000 yearly, but my fortune change and i lost my handsome salary job and i was unable to pay that premium so i needed to stop that as my family primary expenses comes first.sir the insurance company say you wont get this premium back as its already written in terms and condition book,but for me its an huge amount. i would like to know from you that can i get this money from company legally or not and if so how can i get it back. thankyou.
Ans: Hello. I understand why this hurts. ?1.35 lakh is not a small amount, especially when life takes an unexpected turn. Let me explain this calmly and clearly so you know exactly where you stand and what is realistically possible.

First, the hard truth about this policy
Tata AIA Life Insurance Sampoorna Rakshak is a pure term insurance plan.
In term insurance:

There is no savings or investment component

The premium is paid only for risk cover

If the policy lapses early, there is no surrender value

Since you paid only the first year premium and could not continue, the policy lapsed. As per IRDAI rules and the policy contract, term plans do not refund premiums once risk cover has started, even for one year.

So from a legal and regulatory standpoint, the insurer is technically correct.

Can you get the money back legally?
Let me be very honest and practical.

1. Legal refund claim
Not possible, unless there was:

Mis-selling (false promises of return, savings, maturity value)

Incorrect information given in writing

Forged consent or wrong policy explained as an investment plan

If the agent verbally said things like:

“You will get money back”

“This works like an investment”

“You can withdraw later”

and you have proof (WhatsApp, email, brochure), then you may have a case.

Without proof, a court or ombudsman will side with the policy wording.

2. Free look period option
This allows refund within 15–30 days of policy issuance.
Your policy is from 2021, so this option is long gone.

What options are realistically left now?
Option 1: Escalation request (low success, but try)
You can still request a goodwill consideration, not a legal claim.

Write a calm email to:

Tata AIA grievance cell

Mention job loss, financial hardship

Request partial refund or conversion to paid-up (they will likely say no, but try once)

Do not expect much, but sometimes insurers offer ex-gratia rejection confirmation which helps closure.

Option 2: Insurance Ombudsman (for peace of mind)
You may approach the Insurance Ombudsman, but I want to be clear:

Ombudsman follows policy terms

For term plans, verdict is usually in favour of insurer

This is more for mental closure than recovery.

Why this feels unfair but is still allowed
Think of it this way:

For one year, your family had ?50 lakh protection

The premium paid was for that one-year risk

Just like car insurance, unused years are not refundable

I am saying this not to justify the system, but to help you accept reality without guilt.

One important emotional point
You did nothing wrong by stopping the policy.
Choosing food, rent, education, and survival over insurance is financial wisdom, not failure.

Many people continue policies out of fear and end up in debt. You didn’t.

You handled a tough phase responsibly. That matters more than a lost premium.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
Now you have income and intent to close dues.
That itself is a strong and positive step.

There are solutions available.

What “written off” actually means

– “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
– It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
– The amount is still legally payable.
– Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

– CIBIL shows this as serious default.
– But it is not a criminal case.

Your biggest worry clarified clearly
Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

In most practical cases, NO.

– Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
– Interest technically keeps accruing.
– But banks know recovery is difficult.

– They prefer one-time settlement.
– They want closure, not long fights.

What usually happens in real life

– Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Bank internal system may show higher amount.

– They may initially demand more.
– This is a negotiation starting point.

– Final settlement usually happens near:
– Principal amount
– Or slightly above principal

– Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

Why your position is actually strong

– Default happened due to job loss.
– Time gap is several years.
– Account is already written off.

– You are now willing to pay.
– You can offer lump sum.

Banks respect lump sum offers.

What you should NOT do

– Do not panic and pay blindly.
– Do not accept verbal promises.
– Do not pay without written confirmation.

– Do not pay partial amounts casually.
– That weakens your negotiation position.

Correct step-by-step approach
Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

– Call customer care.
– Ask for recovery or settlement team.
– Avoid agents initially.

Step 2: Ask for settlement option

Use clear language:
– You lost job earlier.
– Situation is stable now.
– You want to close accounts fully.

Ask specifically for:
– One Time Settlement option
– Written settlement letter

Step 3: Negotiate calmly

– Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
– Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

– Bank may counter with higher number.
– This is normal negotiation.

– Many cases close between:
– 100% to 130% of principal

Rarely more, if negotiated well.

Important: Written settlement letter

Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

– Full and final settlement
– No further dues will remain
– Account will be closed
– CIBIL status will be updated

Never rely on phone assurance.

How payment should be made

– Pay only to bank account.
– Avoid cash payments.
– Keep receipts safely.

– After payment, collect closure letter.

Impact on your CIBIL score

Be very clear on this point.

– “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
– Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

– “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
– But still considered negative initially.

– Score improves gradually over time.

What improves CIBIL after settlement

– No new defaults
– Timely payments on future credit
– Low credit utilisation
– Patience

Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

Should you wait or settle now?

Settling now is better because:

– Old defaults block future loans.
– Housing loan becomes difficult.
– Car loan interest becomes high.

– Emotional stress continues otherwise.

Closure brings mental relief.

Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

– Harassment has reduced significantly.
– RBI rules are stricter now.
– Written settlement protects you.

– If harassment happens, complain formally.

Have others faced this situation?

Yes, thousands.

– Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
– Credit card defaults increased widely.

– Most cases got settled reasonably.
– You are not alone.

Things working in your favour

– Old default
– Written-off status already marked
– Willingness to pay lump sum
– Stable income now

This gives negotiation power.

After settlement: what next

– Avoid credit cards initially.
– Start with small secured products.

– Pay everything on time.
– Keep credit usage low.

– Score will heal gradually.

Final reassurance

You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
Banks prefer realistic recovery.
Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

Handle this calmly and formally.
Take everything in writing.
You are doing the right thing now.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

» Your current life stage reality
– You are 62 years old.
– You are in active retirement planning phase.
– Capital protection matters more than growth.

– Cash flow comfort is critical.
– Stress-free income is more important than returns.
– Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

» Understanding the type of policies you bought
– These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
– They mix protection and investment together.

– Such products are complex by design.
– Benefits are spread over long durations.

– Charges are high in early years.
– Liquidity remains very limited initially.

» Core issue with such policies at your age
– These policies suit younger earners better.
– They need long holding periods.

– At 62, time horizon is shorter.
– You need access to money now.

– Premium commitment becomes stressful.
– Returns remain unclear for many years.

» Focus on your stated need
– You want benefits while alive.
– You want income and flexibility.

– You do not want confusion.
– You want transparency.

– This is absolutely reasonable.

» Reality check on living benefits
– Living benefits are slow in such policies.
– Early years give very little value.

– Most benefits come much later.
– This delays usefulness.

– Income promises are often misunderstood.
– Actual cash flow is usually low.

» Why agents fail to give clarity
– Products are difficult to explain honestly.
– Commissions are front-loaded.

– Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
– Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

– This creates disappointment later.

» Premium stress is a clear warning sign
– Difficulty paying premium is serious.
– It should never be ignored.

– Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
– This signals mismatch with your needs.

» Can such policies be closed
– Yes, they can be exited.
– Exit terms depend on policy status.

– Minimum holding period usually applies.
– After that, surrender becomes possible.

– You may receive surrender value.
– This value is often lower initially.

» Emotional barrier around surrender
– Many seniors fear losing money.
– This fear delays correct decisions.

– Continuing wrong products increases loss.
– Early correction reduces damage.

» Assessment of continuing versus exiting
– Continuing means more premium burden.
– Returns remain uncertain.

– Liquidity stays restricted.
– Stress continues every year.

– Exiting stops further premium drain.
– Money becomes usable elsewhere.

» Income needs in retirement
– Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
– Expenses do not wait for maturity.

– Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
– Family support needs flexibility.

– Locked products reduce confidence.

» Insurance versus investment separation
– Insurance should protect, not invest.
– Investment should grow or give income.

– Mixing both causes confusion.
– Separation improves clarity.

» What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
– Your regular expenses.
– Your emergency fund adequacy.

– Your health cover sufficiency.
– Your existing liquid assets.

– Your comfort with volatility.

» Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
– These policies are not ideal now.
– They strain cash flow.

– They do not give immediate income.
– They reduce flexibility.

– Surrender should be seriously considered.

» How to approach surrender decision calmly
– First, ask for surrender value statement.
– Ask insurer directly, not agents.

– Request written breakup.
– Include all charges.

– Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

» Important surrender-related points
– Surrender value may seem low.
– This is common in early years.

– Focus on future peace, not past loss.
– Stop throwing good money after bad.

» Tax aspect awareness
– Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
– This depends on policy structure.

– Get clarity before final action.
– Plan withdrawal carefully.

» What to do after surrender
– Do not keep money idle.
– Reinvest based on retirement needs.

– Focus on income generation.
– Focus on capital safety.

» Suitable investment approach after exit
– Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
– Choose conservative to balanced options.

– Prefer actively managed funds.
– They adjust during market changes.

» Why index funds are unsuitable here
– Index funds mirror full market falls.
– No downside protection exists.

– Volatility can disturb sleep.
– Recovery may take time.

– Active funds aim to reduce damage.
– This suits senior investors better.

» Why regular mutual fund route helps
– Guidance is crucial at this age.
– Behaviour control matters.

– Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

– Cost difference is worth guidance.

» Income planning without annuities
– Avoid irreversible income products.
– Keep flexibility alive.

– Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
– Control amount and timing.

» Liquidity planning importance
– Keep enough money accessible.
– Emergencies do not announce arrival.

– Liquidity gives mental comfort.
– Avoid forced asset sales.

» Health expense preparedness
– Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
– Inflation is brutal here.

– Keep separate health contingency fund.
– Do not depend on policy maturity.

» Estate and family clarity
– Ensure nominees are updated.
– Write a clear Will.

– Avoid confusion for family.
– Simplicity matters now.

» Psychological peace as a goal
– Retirement planning is emotional.
– Stress harms health.

– Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
– Confidence comes from control.

» Red flags you should never ignore
– Premium pressure.
– Unclear benefits.

– Long lock-in periods.
– Agent-driven explanations only.

» What you should do immediately
– Ask insurer for surrender details.
– Evaluate calmly with numbers.

– Stop listening only to agents.
– Seek unbiased planning view.

» What not to do
– Do not continue blindly.
– Do not stop premiums without clarity.

– Do not delay decision endlessly.
– Delay increases loss.

» Your age-specific investment mindset
– Growth is secondary now.
– Stability is primary.

– Income visibility is essential.
– Liquidity is non-negotiable.

» Emotional reassurance
– You are not alone.
– Many seniors face similar issues.

– Correcting course is strength.
– It is never too late.

» Final Insights
– These policies are not aligned now.
– Premium stress confirms mismatch.

– Surrender option should be explored seriously.
– Protect peace over promises.

– Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
– Focus on living benefits and comfort.

– Simplicity will serve you best now.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Money
Hi Reetika, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: You have taken a sensible start with disciplined savings.
Owning a house without loans is a strong advantage.
Starting early retirement assets shows responsibility.
Your goals are clear and time is still supportive.

» Life stage and responsibility review
– You are 43 years old and employed.
– Your income phase is still growing.
– Your child is in 11th Science.

– Education expenses will start very soon.
– Marriage goals are medium-term.
– Retirement is long-term but critical.

– This stage needs balance, not extremes.
– Growth and safety both are required.

» Current asset structure understanding
– Retirement-linked savings already exist.
– These assets give long-term discipline.

– Provident savings form a stable base.
– Pension-oriented savings add future comfort.

– Public savings give safety and tax efficiency.
– Fixed deposits give short-term liquidity.

– Overall structure is conservative currently.
– Growth assets need gradual strengthening.

» Liquidity and emergency readiness
– Fixed deposits cover immediate needs.
– Emergency risk appears controlled.

– Maintain at least six months expenses.
– This avoids forced investment exits.

– Do not reduce liquidity for long-term goals.

» Education goal time horizon assessment
– Child education starts within few years.
– Expenses will rise sharply during graduation.

– Foreign education may increase cost further.
– This goal needs partial safety focus.

– Avoid market-linked volatility for near-term needs.

» Marriage goal perspective
– Marriage goal is emotional and financial.
– Expenses usually occur after education.

– This allows moderate growth approach.
– Capital protection remains important.

» Retirement goal clarity
– Retirement is still twenty years away.
– Time is your biggest strength.

– Small discipline now creates big comfort later.
– Growth assets must play a key role.

» Gap understanding for Rs. 80 lacs goal
– Your current assets are lower than required.
– This gap is normal at this age.

– Regular investing will bridge the gap.
– Lump sum expectations should be realistic.

– Salary growth will support higher investments later.

» Income utilisation approach
– Salary should fund regular investments.
– Annual increments should raise contributions.

– Bonuses should be goal-based.
– Avoid lifestyle inflation.

» Asset allocation strategy direction
– Future investments must be diversified.
– Do not depend on one asset type.

– Growth-oriented funds suit long-term goals.
– Stable funds suit near-term needs.

– Balance reduces stress during volatility.

» Mutual fund role in your plan
– Mutual funds allow disciplined participation.
– They reduce direct market timing risk.

– Professional management adds value.
– Diversification improves consistency.

– They suit education and retirement goals.

» Why actively managed funds matter
– Markets are volatile and emotional.
– Index funds follow markets blindly.

– Index funds fall fully during downturns.
– There is no downside protection.

– Actively managed funds adjust exposure.
– Fund managers reduce risk during stress.

– They aim to protect capital better.
– This suits family goals.

» Regular investing discipline
– Monthly investing builds habit.
– Market ups and downs get averaged.

– This reduces regret and fear.
– Discipline matters more than timing.

» Direct versus regular fund clarity
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Monitoring becomes your responsibility.

– Wrong decisions hurt long-term goals.
– Emotional exits are common.

– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Certified Financial Planner support adds value.

– Behaviour control protects returns.

» Tax awareness for mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund long-term gains face tax.
– Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.
– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.

– Debt fund gains follow slab rates.

– Tax planning must align with withdrawals.

» Education funding investment approach
– Use stable and balanced funds.
– Avoid aggressive exposure close to need.

– Gradually reduce risk as goal nears.
– Protect capital before usage.

» Marriage funding approach
– Balanced growth approach is suitable.
– Do not chase high returns.

– Ensure funds are available on time.

» Retirement funding approach
– Long-term horizon allows growth focus.
– Equity-oriented funds are essential.

– Volatility is acceptable now.
– Time smoothens risk.

» Review of existing retirement assets
– Provident savings ensure base security.
– Pension savings add longevity support.

– These assets should remain untouched.
– They form your safety net.

» Inflation impact awareness
– Education inflation is very high.
– Medical inflation rises faster.

– Retirement expenses increase steadily.
– Growth assets fight inflation.

» Insurance protection check
– Ensure adequate life cover.
– Family must remain protected.

– Health cover must be sufficient.
– Medical costs can derail plans.

» Estate and nomination hygiene
– Ensure nominations are updated.
– Family clarity avoids future stress.

– Consider writing a Will.
– This ensures smooth asset transfer.

» Behavioural discipline importance
– Market noise creates confusion.
– Stick to your plan.

– Avoid frequent changes.
– Consistency brings results.

» Review and tracking rhythm
– Review investments once a year.
– Avoid daily monitoring.

– Adjust based on life changes.
– Keep goals priority-based.

» Risk capacity versus risk tolerance
– Your risk capacity is moderate.
– Your responsibilities are high.

– Avoid extreme strategies.
– Balance comfort and growth.

» Psychological comfort in planning
– Your base is already strong.
– Time supports your goals.

– Discipline will do the heavy work.
– Panic is your biggest enemy.

» Finally
– Yes, achieving Rs. 80 lacs is possible.
– Time and discipline are in your favour.

– Start structured investing immediately.
– Increase contributions with income growth.

– Keep goals separated mentally.
– Stay invested during volatility.

– Your journey looks stable and hopeful.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi , I am 50 years old having wife and 1 kid. I got laid off in March 2025 and currently running my own company since July 2025 where in I had invested Rs. 2.50 lacs. At present I am not taking any money from the company but we are not making any losses either. I am having an Investment of 1) 30 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 2) 20 lacs in NSC maturing in year 2030. 3) 9 lacs in Mutual Funds. 4) 45 lacs in Equity which i intend to liquidate and put in Mutual Funds. 5) 75 lacs in PPF, PF & NPS. 6) Wife earning 50 lacs annually. 7) She has 40 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 8) 1.20 Cr. in PPF, PF & NPS. 9) We also own 2 properties with current fair market value of Rs. 5 Cr. 10) One property is giving us rent of Rs. 66K per month. 11) Apart from this we are also expecting to get ~ Rs. 2.50 Cr. over next 15 years for the insurance policies getting matured. Expenses & Liabilities: 1) Monthly expenses of Rs. 4.50 lacs which includes Rent, Insurance premium, EMI against Education loan for my kid's, Medical premium, Travel, Grocery and other miscl. expenses. 2) Car loan EMI of 40,000 per month which is included in the Rs. 4.50 lacs monthly expenses. This loan is till March 2027. 3) Education loan of Rs. 1.05 Cr. with current liability of Rs. 80 lacs as we paid Rs. 25 lacs to the Bank as prepayment. We need to spend ~ Rs. 40 lacs more to support for the kid education in USA till year 2027. 4) We intend to pay the entire Education loan by max. 2030. My question is, will this be enough for me and my wife for the retirement as my wife intends to work till 2037 if everything goes fine (when she turns 60) and I will continue running my company looking at taking Rs. 1 lacs per month from it from next FY.
Ans: You have built strong assets with discipline and patience.
Your financial journey shows clarity, courage, and long-term thinking.
Despite job loss, stability is well protected.
Your family position is better than most Indian households.

» Current life stage understanding
– You are 50 years old with working spouse.
– One child pursuing overseas education.
– You are semi-employed through your own business.
– Your wife has strong income visibility.
– This phase needs protection, not aggressive risk.

– Cash flow control matters more than returns now.
– Liquidity planning is extremely important.
– Emotional decisions must be avoided.

» Employment transition and business assessment
– Job loss was sudden but handled calmly.
– Starting your company shows confidence and skill.
– Initial investment of Rs. 2.50 lacs is reasonable.
– Zero loss position is a good sign.

– No salary draw reduces pressure on business.
– Planned Rs. 1 lac monthly draw is sensible.
– This keeps household stability intact.
– Business income should be treated as variable.

– Do not overestimate future business income.
– Use it only as a support pillar.

» Family income stability review
– Wife earning Rs. 50 lacs annually is a major strength.
– Her income anchors your retirement plan.
– Employment till 2037 gives long runway.

– Her savings discipline looks excellent.
– Large retirement corpus already exists.
– This reduces pressure on your assets.

– You should align plans jointly.
– Retirement must be treated as family goal.

» Asset allocation snapshot assessment
– You hold assets across cash, debt, equity, and retirement buckets.
– Diversification already exists.
– That shows mature planning habits.

– Savings and FDs give immediate liquidity.
– NSC gives defined maturity comfort.
– Equity exposure is meaningful.
– Retirement accounts are strong.

– Real estate is end-use, not investment.
– Rental income adds safety.

» Savings accounts and FDs analysis
– Rs. 30 lacs in savings and FDs offer flexibility.
– Wife holding Rs. 40 lacs adds cushion.

– This covers emergencies and education gaps.
– Liquidity is sufficient for next three years.

– Avoid keeping excess idle cash long-term.
– Inflation quietly erodes value.

– Use this bucket for planned withdrawals.

» NSC maturity planning
– Rs. 20 lacs maturing in 2030 is well timed.
– This aligns with education loan closure.

– This can be earmarked for debt repayment.
– Do not link this to retirement spending.

– It gives psychological comfort.

» Mutual fund exposure review
– Existing mutual fund holding is small.
– Rs. 9 lacs needs scaling gradually.

– Your plan to shift equity into funds is wise.
– This improves risk management.

– Mutual funds suit retirement phase better.
– They provide professional management.

– Avoid sudden large transfers.
– Phased movement reduces timing risk.

» Direct equity exposure evaluation
– Rs. 45 lacs in equity needs careful handling.
– Market volatility can hurt emotions.

– Concentration risk exists in direct equity.
– Monitoring requires time and skill.

– Gradual exit is sensible.
– Move funds into diversified mutual funds.

– Avoid panic selling.
– Use market strength periods for exits.

» Retirement accounts strength review
– Combined PF, PPF, and NPS is very strong.
– Your Rs. 75 lacs is meaningful.
– Wife’s Rs. 1.20 Cr is excellent.

– These assets ensure base retirement security.
– They protect longevity risk.

– Do not disturb these accounts prematurely.
– Let compounding continue.

» Real estate role clarity
– Two properties worth Rs. 5 Cr add net worth comfort.
– One property gives Rs. 66k monthly rent.

– Rental income supports expenses partially.
– This reduces portfolio withdrawal stress.

– Do not consider new property investments.
– Focus on financial assets.

» Insurance maturity inflows assessment
– Expected Rs. 2.50 Cr over 15 years is valuable.
– This gives future liquidity.

– These inflows should not be spent casually.
– They must be reinvested wisely.

– Align maturity money with retirement phase.

» Expense structure evaluation
– Monthly expense of Rs. 4.50 lacs is high.
– This includes many essential heads.

– Education, rent, insurance, travel are significant.
– EMI burden is temporary.

– Expenses will reduce after 2027.
– That improves retirement readiness.

» Car loan review
– EMI of Rs. 40,000 till March 2027 is manageable.
– This is already included in expenses.

– No action required here.
– Avoid new vehicle loans.

» Education loan strategy
– Education loan balance of Rs. 80 lacs is large.
– Overseas education requires careful funding.

– Planned additional Rs. 40 lacs till 2027 is realistic.
– Do not compromise retirement assets for education.

– Target full closure by 2030 is practical.
– Use NSC maturity and surplus income.

– Avoid using retirement accounts for repayment.

» Cash flow alignment till 2027
– Wife’s income covers majority expenses.
– Rental income adds support.

– Business draw of Rs. 1 lac helps.
– Savings bridge shortfalls.

– Cash flow mismatch risk is low.

» Retirement readiness assessment
– Combined family net worth is strong.
– Retirement corpus foundation is already built.

– Major expenses peak before 2027.
– After that, burden reduces.

– Wife working till 2037 adds security.
– This delays retirement withdrawals.

» Post-2037 retirement picture
– After wife retires, expenses will drop.
– No education costs.
– No major EMIs.

– Medical costs will rise gradually.
– Planning buffers already exist.

– Rental income continues.

» Mutual fund strategy for future
– Shift equity proceeds into diversified mutual funds.
– Use a mix of growth-oriented and balanced approaches.

– Avoid index-based investing.
– Index funds lack downside protection.

– They move fully with markets.
– No human judgement is applied.

– Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
– They protect better during volatility.

– Skilled managers add value over cycles.

» Direct funds versus regular funds clarity
– Regular funds offer guidance and discipline.
– Ongoing review is critical at this stage.

– Direct funds require self-monitoring.
– Errors can be costly near retirement.

– Behaviour management matters more than cost.
– Professional handholding reduces mistakes.

– Use mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials.

» Tax awareness on mutual funds
– Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed.
– Tax rate is 12.5 percent.

– Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.
– Debt mutual fund gains follow slab rates.

– Plan withdrawals tax efficiently.
– Do not churn unnecessarily.

» Withdrawal sequencing in retirement
– Start withdrawals from surplus funds first.
– Use rental income for regular expenses.

– Keep retirement accounts untouched initially.
– Delay withdrawals improves longevity.

– Insurance maturity inflows can fund later years.

» Medical and health planning
– Medical inflation is a major risk.
– Ensure adequate health cover.

– Review coverage every three years.
– Build separate medical contingency fund.

– Avoid dipping into equity during emergencies.

» Estate and succession clarity
– Assets are large and diverse.
– Proper nominations are critical.

– Draft a clear Will.
– Review beneficiaries periodically.

– Avoid family disputes later.

» Psychological comfort and risk control
– You are financially strong.
– Avoid fear-driven decisions.

– Avoid chasing returns.
– Stability matters more now.

– Keep plans simple and review yearly.

» Finally
– Yes, your assets are sufficient for retirement.
– Discipline must continue.

– Control expenses during transition years.
– Avoid large lifestyle upgrades.

– Focus on asset allocation, not market timing.
– Your retirement future looks secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6751 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

Career
Sir i have given 12th in 2025 and passed with 69% but not given jee exam in 2025 and not in 2026 also But i want iit anyhow sir is this possible that i give 12th in 2027 and cleared 75 criteria then give jee mains and also i am eligible for jee advanced
Ans: You have already appeared for and passed the Class 12 examination in 2025. As per the eligibility criteria, only two consecutive attempts for JEE (Advanced) are permitted—the first in 2025 and the second in 2026. Therefore, you will not be eligible to appear for JEE (Advanced) in 2027. Reappearing for Class 12 does not reset or extend JEE (Advanced) eligibility.

However, you can still achieve your goal of studying at an IIT through an alternative and well-established pathway. You may take admission to an undergraduate engineering program of your choice, appear for the GATE examination in your final year, and secure a qualifying score to gain admission to a postgraduate program at a top IIT.

This is a strong and viable route to IIT. At this stage, it would be advisable to move forward by enrolling in an engineering program rather than focusing again on Class 12, JEE Main, or JEE Advanced.

Good luck.
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Radheshyam

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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