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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Yogesh Question by Yogesh on Feb 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam, I have very close friend of mine. He is a doctor and very cool by personality. He is married for the last 26 years but he is not in good terms with his wife ( who is also a Govt. officer) . Actually they are very different persons by nature. His wife always try to convenience him on certain religious faiths but he is a practical guy who believes in doing good with all humans in touch . She still always jeer him in very taunting ways about his belated parents' behavior with her. He has already calmed her by offering her apologies on their behalf. But still she continues again and again. My friend has tried many a time to convince her for new start of relationship but it goes for only 2-3 days and again the same drama starts. I as family friend has also tried to settle the things between both of them (with their permission) but all in vain. Both are 50+ and not now my friend is having blood pressure problems too, He now has started to avoid the situations at home and tries to remain out of home . But this is not the permanent solution of this problem. According to my observation it is really very difficult to convince her on any point. But still I want to help them. Please suggest any possible way-out.-Thanks.

Ans: Dear Yogesh,
Dealing with longstanding relationship issues can be challenging, and it's admirable that you want to help your friend and his wife. Suggest that both your friend and his wife consider seeking professional marriage counseling. A licensed therapist can provide a neutral and structured environment for them to express their concerns, improve communication, and work towards resolving underlying issues. Encourage them to set realistic expectations for their relationship. It's essential for both parties to understand that perfection is not achievable, and compromise is crucial in any long-term relationship.Emphasize the importance of respecting each other's differences. It's okay to have different beliefs and values, but acknowledging and accepting those differences is key to a harmonious relationship. If they are open to it, suggest mediation to facilitate communication and conflict resolution. A neutral third party can help guide discussions and find common ground It's important to note that while your intentions are positive, the decision to seek help ultimately rests with your friend and his wife. They both need to be willing participants in any process aimed at improving their relationship. If they are resistant, it might be challenging to make significant progress.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Anu, A friend is having trouble in his marriage of 17 years. The wife got into an affair with a neighbor. Once the friend found out, he took his time to consolidate evidence and now after confronting, both have accepted. The husband is too emotional to let go of the happenings and has taken it to heart like anything (6+ months now). They have a 13 year old kid. Both have come to terms with the fact that they need to be together for the kid's sake, but can't seem to come to terms to even talk to each other, staying in the same house. I have suggested them to stay together as parents and not as a couple (at least, till they are able to sort out the future steps) but there seems no way the husband will communicate with the wife in daily routine, and the wife is helpless as she feels morally guilty in saying anything to the husband. Could you suggest some tips on how to get them communicating so that they are able to at least move forward in some direction or the other?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When two adults consent to living together for the sake of the child despite what's happened, what's the point in playing EGO games? Will the child not be affected by his parents' drama now when he sees them spitting fire at each other or being passive aggressive? This might be really damaging to him.
Kindly advice your friend and his wife to go through this marriage in a somewhat harmonious fashion 'for the sake of the child' (since it's their decision).

There is nothing that will come out of this display of anger and power on the part of your friend. He is only trying to complain and get his hurt ego massaged and his wife will meekly be quiet knowing that she has caused this situation. How is this helping anyone?

So, if they want to live under one roof for the child's sake, let them do it as mature adults. There has to be a certain code of conduct while they live together as a family. And mind you, this is going to be more than just friendly banter. The boy is 13 and needs his parents more at the cusp of puberty and the parents here are looking out for themselves. If this continues, I would suggest that they think of separation at least till they allow the anger to simmer down. This will also allow the boy to breathe easy.

Go the whole hog; don't keep the foot in two places. It tears the family apart.

All the best to your friend and his family and thank you for caring about them! All the best to you too!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Let it be an anonymous question Husband and my wife above 65 years had quarrels for various reasons including the fact that her brother's behaviour was quite irritating to .But for the wife he was her favorite one.Initially she too agreed this fact and found out a term a term in English about such behaviour of Brother to Sister's husband.The husband used to make such complaints to her.Finally after so many years of happy life she has hired a flat and staying alone.Initially she used to talk to him.But slowly she started telling if she hears his sound the whole day is gone.She has looked after his mother very well andin the same way he helped her parents.Her mother had a heart attack and escaped.His mother in law told publicly that only because of him she escaped.Even though such good incidents were there the present situation is suchthat theyare staying apart.She is not ready to come back.The husband had already put his best effortsto persuade by sending message,voice messages and personal appology for whatever happened.But she is not ready to come back even though his close relatives talked to her several times.But no use.What is to be done to bring back her and to have happy life.Kindly note that the husband is ready for anything to rebuild life.But she is very adamant that she will not come back.In fact both of them are short tempered .But sometimes her anger goes up like a helicopter.How to rebuild this relationship?How to handle the situation?.
Ans: Rebuilding a relationship when both parties are over 65 and facing significant issues requires patience, understanding, and often professional intervention. Here are some steps that might help in your situation:

First, it's important to acknowledge the depth of the emotional wounds that have been inflicted. Both of you have shared many years together and have supported each other's families, indicating a strong bond that has been strained by recurring conflicts. Recognizing the positive history and expressing gratitude for the past contributions can help set a foundation for reconciliation.

Given that your wife has chosen to live separately and is currently very resistant to communication, it might be helpful to suggest professional counseling. A neutral third party, such as a therapist or marriage counselor, can facilitate conversations in a safe and structured environment. Counseling can help both of you understand the underlying issues, improve communication skills, and work through the anger and resentment that have built up over time.

It’s also crucial to give her space while making it clear that you are committed to working on the relationship. Respect her need for distance, but keep the lines of communication open by occasionally sending thoughtful messages that express your willingness to understand and address her concerns without pressuring her.

Reflect on your behavior and be genuinely open to change. Demonstrating your willingness to work on your own shortcomings can make a significant impact. This might include managing your temper, improving your listening skills, and showing empathy towards her feelings and perspectives.

Involving a close family member or a trusted friend who she respects might also be beneficial. They can act as intermediaries to convey your sincere intentions and help mediate the situation without taking sides.

Lastly, patience is key. Rebuilding trust and repairing a relationship, especially after long-standing issues, takes time. Continue to show her through your actions that you are committed to making positive changes and are willing to put in the effort needed to restore your relationship.

If you both can agree to engage in the process, even if it starts with small steps, there’s hope for reconciliation and rebuilding a happy life together.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2026Hindi
Money
have lic jeevan saral policy plan 165 from June 2011 for 15 years with life coverage of Rs50000/- . Age at the time of policy 51 and Yearly premium Rs 24260/ Please inform maturity value at June 2026
Ans: I appreciate your patience in holding this policy for many years.
Many people continue such policies without clarity.
You are doing the right thing by seeking understanding now.
This shows maturity and financial awareness.

» Basic Understanding of Your Policy
– You started the policy in June 2011.
– Policy term is 15 years.
– Maturity is due in June 2026.
– Entry age was 51 years.
– Yearly premium is Rs 24,260.
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.

This policy is insurance plus savings combined.
Such policies focus more on forced savings.
Protection element is very small.

» Total Premium Paid Over Policy Term
– You pay premium for full 15 years.
– Yearly premium remains constant.
– Premium payment ends before maturity.

By maturity, total premium paid will be substantial.
This is important for comparison.

» How Maturity Value Is Decided
– This policy does not give bonus like others.
– It works on a maturity value factor system.
– Maturity value depends on age and term.
– Loyalty additions may be added at maturity.

Returns are pre-declared, not market linked.

» Expected Maturity Value Range
– For your age and premium, returns are modest.
– Such policies generally give low annual growth.
– Growth is closer to traditional savings products.

Based on past experience with similar cases:
– Maturity value is usually between Rs 4.5 lakh to Rs 5.2 lakh.

This is an approximate range.
Exact figure depends on final loyalty addition.

» Why Maturity Value Feels Low
– Large part of premium goes toward costs.
– Mortality charges are high due to entry age.
– Returns are not linked to equity growth.

These factors reduce wealth creation potential.

» Life Cover Assessment
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.
– This amount is too small today.
– It does not protect family needs.

Insurance objective is not fulfilled properly.

» Investment Assessment
– Policy forces discipline, not growth.
– Returns do not beat long-term inflation.
– Purchasing power reduces over time.

This impacts real wealth.

» Liquidity Aspect
– Money is locked for long term.
– Exit before maturity causes loss.
– Flexibility is limited.

This restricts financial freedom.

» Risk Versus Reward Balance
– Risk is low.
– Reward is also low.
– Long holding period gives limited benefit.

Such balance does not suit wealth creation.

» Tax Aspect at Maturity
– Maturity proceeds are usually tax free.
– This is a positive aspect.
– But tax benefit alone is not enough.

Net outcome still remains weak.

» Emotional Attachment Factor
– Long association builds emotional comfort.
– Familiarity creates false security.
– Numbers should guide decisions.

Money decisions must be practical.

» Opportunity Cost Over 15 Years
– Same premium invested differently grows better.
– Time value of money is lost here.
– Compounding opportunity is underused.

This is the hidden cost.

» Should You Continue Till Maturity
– You are very close to maturity now.
– Only limited premiums remain.
– Exit now may reduce value.

From pure practicality, holding till maturity makes sense.

» What To Do After Maturity
– Do not reinvest maturity money here again.
– Do not buy similar policies.
– Separate insurance and investment clearly.

This improves clarity and control.

» Insurance Requirement Going Forward
– Insurance should be pure protection.
– Cover amount should be meaningful.
– Premium should be affordable.

This protects family properly.

» Investment Requirement Going Forward
– Investments should focus on growth.
– Long-term horizon suits market-linked options.
– Discipline should be maintained separately.

This builds real wealth.

» Why Such Policies Are Not Ideal
– They mix two different objectives.
– They dilute both protection and growth.
– Transparency is low.

Clarity always wins financially.

» Should You Surrender Similar Policies
– Yes, for long-term underperforming policies.
– Especially investment-cum-insurance types.
– Evaluate surrender versus paid-up carefully.

Each policy needs separate review.

» If You Hold Any Other LIC Policies
– Check premium versus life cover ratio.
– Review maturity value realistically.
– Assess opportunity cost honestly.

Do not assume all LIC policies are safe wealth tools.

» Behavioural Lesson From This Policy
– Forced savings feels comfortable.
– Comfort does not equal efficiency.
– Awareness changes future outcomes.

This lesson is valuable.

» 360 Degree View of Your Policy
– Protection is inadequate.
– Returns are low.
– Liquidity is poor.
– Tax benefit is limited advantage.

Overall outcome is average at best.

» Positive Side You Should Acknowledge
– You maintained long-term discipline.
– You honoured commitments regularly.
– You avoided policy lapsation.

This discipline is powerful.

» How To Use This Discipline Better
– Channel it into transparent investments.
– Keep insurance purely for protection.
– Review annually with clarity.

Discipline plus right structure creates wealth.

» Finally
– Expected maturity value is around Rs 4.5 to 5.2 lakh.
– Exact amount will be known near June 2026.
– Holding till maturity is sensible now.
– Avoid repeating similar products later.

You are in a position to improve future outcomes.
This awareness itself is progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2026Hindi
Money
Sir I have Aviva life insurance policy premium payable 10 years,I have already paid 5 years, I want to discontinue, can I and how much surrender value can I get.
Ans: I appreciate that you are taking a clear decision about your Aviva life insurance policy.
You have courage to review and possibly improve your financial choices.
This step shows responsibility and seriousness about money.

» Can You Discontinue / Surrender the Policy
– Yes, most Aviva regular premium life policies allow surrender after some years of premium paid.
– If you have paid at least the minimum required number of premiums, you can get surrender value.
– Most Aviva plans require at least 3 years’ premiums before surrender value applies.
– If you have paid 5 years already, you satisfy this condition in most cases.

So yes, you can discontinue and surrender the policy now.

» What Happens When You Surrender
– When you surrender, the policy stops.
– All life cover, benefits and future bonuses stop immediately.
– You get a surrender value based on premiums paid and the rules of your policy.

» How Much Surrender Value You Might Get
Exact amount depends on your specific policy terms. But typical factors are:

– Insurance companies usually pay a Guaranteed Surrender Value.
– They sometimes also pay a Special Surrender Value if it is higher.
– You get the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.

For many Aviva regular premium plans, a typical Guaranteed Surrender Value pattern looks like this:

– After 3 years: about 30%
– After 4 years: about 50%
– After 5 years: about 55%
– After 6 years: about 57.5%
– After 7 years: about 60%
– After 8 years: about 65%
– After 9 years: about 70%
– After 10 years: about 90%
– After full term: 100% of premiums paid

So if you have paid 5 years of premiums:
– You may receive roughly around 50% to 60% of your total paid premiums as surrender value.

The actual number will be based on your exact policy contract.

» Example (Illustrative Only)
If you paid Rs 1,00,000 total premiums by 5 years:
– Surrender value might be roughly between Rs 55,000 and Rs 60,000 under standard terms.

This is not exact for your case.
It is just to help you understand the mechanism.

» Special Surrender Value Component
– In some policies, the insurer may credit a special surrender value.
– This may include some part of bonuses or reserves.
– If it is higher than Guaranteed Surrender Value, you get that instead.
– Special values may change over time with company policy and regulator approval.

» What Documents You Need to Submit
Generally, you need these:
– Surrender discharge form from insurer.
– Original policy
– KYC documents like PAN and Aadhaar.
– Cancelled cheque for bank account.

The insurer will guide you with forms.

» What Happens After You Submit Surrender Request
– Company reviews premium history.
– They compute surrender value.
– They pay you the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.
– This amount is paid to your bank account.

» Tax on Surrender Value
– Surrender value of life insurance can be taxable.
– It may be treated as income from other sources in some cases.
– Tax depends on policy type and premium structure.

You should confirm tax treatment before finalising surrender.

» Things to Know Before You Surrender
– You lose life cover immediately.
– You lose future bonuses if any.
– Surrender value is often much lower than premiums paid.
– Early exit penalties apply in many policies.

Surrendering is possible, but cost can be high.

» Why Surrender Value Is Lower
– Insurers recover acquisition costs and commission.
– Early exit penalties apply.
– This structure impacts early-year exits heavily.

Because of these reasons, surrender value feels disappointing.

» Should You Consider Alternatives
Before surrendering fully, consider:
– Paid-up option.
– You stop premiums but keep reduced benefits.

Paid-up may give better value than immediate surrender.

Your exact option depends on policy terms.

» Important to Check in Your Policy
Ask for a written statement showing:
– Guaranteed surrender value as on date.
– Special surrender value, if available.
– Paid-up benefit details.
– Impact on coverage and future benefits.

Always take figures in writing.

» Next Step for You
– Contact Aviva customer service.
– Ask for surrender value quote today.
– Ask for paid-up option quote also.
– Compare both before deciding.

Getting clarity reduces regret later.

Finally, you are free to stop the policy now.
But surrender value will be lower than premiums paid.
Decision should balance loss versus future benefit.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6769 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Career
Sir, I completed my 12th standard from CBSE with PCM in 2025, and I am currently preparing for the COMEDK exam, through which admissions are given to top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. However, my 12th result was not very good because I did not prepare properly. As a result, I got an RT (Repeat in Theory) in Chemistry. In my CBSE marksheet, I am shown as overall pass because I had taken six subjects, due to which Chemistry became an additional subject. As you know, Chemistry is a compulsory subject for engineering colleges, so I appeared for the NIOS On-Demand Improvement Examination for only the Chemistry subject, and I have passed it. Sir, I want to know whether two marksheets from different boards—one being the CBSE marksheet showing overall pass, and the other being the NIOS marksheet for a single-subject improvement in Chemistry—are accepted by top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. Also, will these documents be accepted during COMEDK counselling document verification?
Ans: Yes. Generally, top private engineering colleges and COMEDK counselling accept a CBSE overall pass marksheet along with an NIOS single-subject Chemistry pass marksheet, provided Chemistry is passed, and you meet eligibility. Still, final acceptance depends on COMEDK/college verification rules. However, it is highly recommended that you carefully review the COMDEK brochure. If you have doubts about our clarification or reply, it would be better to visit the administrative office of any top engineering college in person and ask them directly without any hesitation to resolve your problems/doubts across the table instantly. With this, you will be free from stress that you hold in your mind. Now, focus more on COMDEK and try to score more. Best of luck to your bright future.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

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