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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |705 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2026

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi
Relationship

My boyfriend does not have a stable job, but he wants me to move in with him. We have been in a relationship for two years, and because he travels frequently for work, he feels living together will help us spend more time as a couple. He works as a freelance product photographer and regularly travels to cities like Pune, Delhi, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, and Chennai. I’m unsure whether moving in with an unstable partner is a practical decision or if finances and career stability should come first. Should I agree to live together in this situation, or wait until he has a more secure job?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are being careful and that makes perfect sense. I would suggest having an open discussion about the same with your partner. In a polite and kind manner, put forward your concerns. For instance, ask him about the times when he doesn’t get freelance gigs, how will you two manage financially. Hear him out; he might actually have a plan for those phases. Communicating about things and figuring it out together brings people closer.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Me(20 year) and my boyfriend(23 year) were in serious relationship about 2 years now. I am a student persuing my bachelor's in computer science in other hand my bf is working in his father's company which is a average company with less amount of profit . He completed diploma in mechanic and now earning 35K per month. Before starting of relationship i told him about that I have an idea about settling in abroad country and that's my dream. At that time he said ok we can both work together to achieve that. Years passed in Feb 2023 his mom decided to buy a villa worth of 60L ( which is not at all necessary now ). Here comes the problem they were planned to buy 60L villa by housing EMI( *EMI is paid for 20 years*) . He and his mom who's gonna be paying the EMI ( *his father is not willing to pay the debt*). And also he is spending 7k for petrol for his bike. Till now he has no savings. I don't want to start my life with debt. And also even if I got abroad job offer, he is not willing to move with me in abroad. Now he's saying that I should wait 10 years for him to develope the company. But i don't have that much time. I don't know what to do 😔😔?
Ans: Dear Aarya,
Time moves and so do people move along with the situations that they face.
Yes, you had both decided life in a particular way; but now it has suddenly shifted to something else. Why they want the Villa with so much of debt mounting, is their decision!
But you can certainly decide if you want to start your life with that debt, repay it along with them, give up on your dreams of living abroad? You can decide it NOW. Your decision will determine your life's path. So choose and decide very wisely.
You have a job offer on hand; so is it going to be life with your boyfriend in debt or starting life afresh on your own terms. Weigh the pros and cons of both and choose wisely.

All the best!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |185 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
we are in 2 yrs of long distance relationship 1yr normal relation now we live in different states and we both study in college now but we know our future job location will remains same even i (girl) having IT job which does not have much scope in state where boy lives and he is doing mbbs even he dont want to switch location becos he want to take care of his parents and even his parents are strict and bhramin family . he is telling me to settle in his place that i dont want to as there os no job scope for me there. Please tell me what should we do what the boy or girl should do to make it work? we really want to make it work.
Ans: The words that you have used 'parents are strict' is an area of concern - what is the reason for being strict? Secondly he is concerned about his parents, wishes to be for them which is fantastic, hope you have had a discussion with him that you will also be there for your parents as and when they need you. Now lets talk about how you can make it work....there are solutions if you wish to make things work, most times 2 people decide and many a times one needs to give in to the other....Sharing suggestions on what can be thought about given there is limited information (1) look at a long distance relationship with both pursuing your career, yes many relationships work this way...but it needs maturity from both sides (2) You look for a remote job (3) You look at starting something of your own, consider self employment - wishing you the best.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

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Relationship
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 2018. We’ve always been deeply connected, staying in constant touch through calls and quick replies. Now, he is 31 years old and wants to marry me, but I am not ready yet. I recently got a job with a 7.5 LPA income and need to focus on building my career. My family disapproves of him because he has been preparing for government exams for the last six years and only earns ?15k/month. He also has a very closed mindset and is extremely insecure, constantly worrying that I will leave him one day. One of my biggest concerns is that he’s unwilling to adjust to my work location. After marriage, he plans to stay behind and continue private tuition instead of being with me. These differences have led to frequent conflicts, and it’s becoming emotionally exhausting for me to manage. While I care deeply for him, I feel stuck between my career ambitions, my family’s disapproval, and his expectations. I’m struggling to make him understand my situation, and I don’t know how to move forward.
Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11047 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 02, 2026

Money
I have borrow a 36.50 lakh loan against property from hdfc bank. is property inssurance mandatory for the mortgage loan on property?
Ans: You have taken a Loan Against Property of Rs 36.50 lakh. First, I appreciate that you are checking the legal and financial side carefully. That shows responsibility.

Now let us understand clearly.

» Is Property Insurance Mandatory for Loan Against Property?

– Legally, property insurance is not compulsory under Indian law.
– But practically, most banks including HDFC Bank insist on insuring the property.
– It is usually mentioned in the loan agreement as a condition.

So technically it is not a government rule. But contractually, the bank can make it compulsory.

Why? Because the property is the security for your loan.

» Why Bank Insists on Property Insurance

– The property is pledged to the bank.
– If there is fire, flood, earthquake or major damage, the value reduces.
– If the property is damaged badly, the bank’s security becomes weak.

Insurance protects both you and the bank.

So from risk management point of view, it is practical and sensible.

» Is It Mandatory to Buy Insurance From the Same Bank?

– No bank can force you to buy insurance only from their partner company.
– You are free to choose any general insurance company.
– You only need to assign the policy in favour of the bank.

If bank is forcing bundled insurance, you can politely request separate policy.

» What Type of Insurance Is Needed?

For mortgage loan, usually:

– Structure insurance (building insurance) is required.
– Contents insurance is optional but useful.

If it is an apartment:

– The society may already have a master policy.
– Still, individual unit insurance is better.

Do not confuse this with loan protection insurance (life cover). That is different.

» Should You Take It Even If Not Forced?

Yes, I strongly recommend taking it.

Why?

– Property is a large asset.
– One accident can destroy years of savings.
– Premium is very small compared to property value.

It is not an expense. It is protection.

» Check These Points Carefully

– Insured value should match reconstruction cost, not market value.
– Natural calamities must be covered.
– Policy should be renewed every year without fail.
– Bank clause (assignment clause) must be correctly mentioned.

Do not ignore renewal. If policy lapses, risk comes back to you.

» 360 Degree Protection View

Since you have a loan:

– Ensure you have adequate term insurance to cover outstanding loan.
– Ensure you have proper health insurance.
– Maintain emergency fund for EMI continuity.

If something happens to income, EMI must not suffer.

Property insurance protects asset.
Term insurance protects family.
Emergency fund protects EMI discipline.

All three together create safety.

» Finally

Property insurance may not be legally compulsory, but practically it is required and financially wise.

Do not see it as bank pressure. See it as risk control.

A small premium today can prevent a huge financial shock tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11047 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 02, 2026

Money
Hello Sir, I am 43 year old, having investment in 1. Own House-No Loan 2. MF holding 14.0 Lac, 3. FD 44.0 Lac, 4. Pure Gold 40.0 Lac, 5. PPF 5.0 Lac, 6. EPF 27.5 Lac, 7. NPS 9.0 Lac 8. Bank Account 10.0 Lac 9. Monthly SIP 44000 Rs [Multicap, Two Mid Cap, Two Small Cap, Large and Mid Cap] 10. Term Plan 50.0 Lac My child is 16 years old, i need your advice for my child education, marriage as well as my retirement.
Ans: You have built a very strong foundation at 43. Own house without loan, good savings in FD, gold, EPF and mutual funds – this shows discipline and stability. Many people at your age struggle with liabilities. You are in a safe position. Now we must organise it properly for your child’s higher education, marriage and your retirement.

» Current Financial Position – Overall Assessment

– Own house without loan gives you emotional security.
– Total financial assets are well diversified across FD, gold, PF and mutual funds.
– Large allocation to FD and gold gives safety but lower long-term growth.
– Mutual fund exposure is moderate and SIP is healthy at Rs 44,000 per month.
– Term cover of Rs 50 lakh is on the lower side considering child age and future costs.

You are financially stable. Now the focus must shift to growth and protection.

» Child Higher Education – 2 to 4 Year Planning Window

Your child is already 16. That means higher education funding is very near.

– Education corpus should not depend on equity-heavy assets now.
– Avoid taking high risk in small and mid caps for this goal.
– Start segregating money required in next 2–3 years into safe instruments like short-term debt or high-quality fixed income.
– Do not disturb EPF and NPS for education unless absolutely necessary.

If needed, you can use part of FD and bank balance. Education goal is priority one.

Important: Avoid selling equity mutual funds in panic. If you sell equity funds:
– LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemption carefully and gradually.

» Child Marriage – Long-Term Goal (8–12 Years)

Marriage is not urgent. So this can stay in growth assets.

– Continue SIP.
– You are currently investing across multicap, midcap, smallcap and large-midcap. That is fine for long term.
– But review allocation. Too much mid and small cap increases volatility.

Keep marriage goal in a separate mutual fund bucket. Track it independently.

» Retirement Planning – The Most Important Goal

You are 43. You have around 15–17 years for retirement.

Current retirement assets:
– EPF Rs 27.5 lakh
– NPS Rs 9 lakh
– PPF Rs 5 lakh
– Mutual Funds Rs 14 lakh

This is a decent start but not enough for long retirement life.

You must:

– Increase retirement-focused equity allocation gradually.
– Continue EPF contribution strongly.
– Continue NPS for tax and discipline, but do not depend fully on it.
– Increase SIP gradually every year, at least 5–10% step-up.

At your age, growth is still required. Too much FD and gold will reduce long-term wealth creation.

» Asset Allocation Correction

Current allocation shows heavy weight in:

– FD Rs 44 lakh
– Gold Rs 40 lakh

Gold and FD together form a very large portion. Gold does not give income. FD gives safety but post-tax returns are moderate.

Suggestion:

– Do not exit gold fully. Keep reasonable allocation.
– Slowly reduce excess FD over next few years and move towards diversified equity mutual funds for long-term goals.
– Keep emergency fund of 6–9 months in bank and FD. Beyond that, excess idle cash should work harder.

» Insurance Review

Term cover of Rs 50 lakh is low.

– Considering child age and inflation in education, you should review and increase total term cover.
– Aim for at least 10–12 times annual income protection.

Health insurance is not mentioned. If not adequate, increase family floater coverage.

» Risk Management & Behaviour Discipline

– Do not frequently change funds based on market noise.
– Review once a year.
– Keep goals separated mentally and financially.

Your SIP structure is good. Just rebalance and align with time horizon.

» Tax Awareness

– Equity mutual fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh (long term) are taxed at 12.5%.
– Short term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per slab.

So plan withdrawals smartly. Do not redeem in one single financial year if avoidable.

» Action Plan – Next 12 Months

– Separate education corpus immediately.
– Increase term insurance.
– Gradually rebalance FD surplus into long-term mutual funds.
– Step-up SIP yearly.
– Create clear written retirement number target.
– Review NPS asset allocation to ensure enough equity exposure.

» Finally

You are not late. You are actually ahead in discipline and savings. Only re-alignment is required.

Education funding needs safety now.
Marriage needs growth.
Retirement needs structured and increasing equity exposure.

If you implement these corrections calmly, you can achieve all three goals without stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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