Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Anchal Question by Anchal on Sep 12, 2023Hindi
Listen

Hi mam I want to ask something mera boyfriend ajkl bhuut stress main rehta h uske ghr p kuch family issues bhi chal rhe h jiski vjh s vo bhuut tension main h mujhe samjh nhi aara h main kesa usko achaa feel krau main usko aisa kya Krna ko bolu ki uski life main sb normal hojaye vo thoda stress free hojye plzz mam meri help krdo merko btao ki main kesa usko mentally aur emotionally support kru 🙏🏻

Ans: Dear Anchal,
Usi insaan ko hum samjha sakte hain joh samajhna chahta ho. Kuch log aise bhi hote hain joh stress ka saamna chup hokar ya door hokar karte hain. Shaayad isiliye aapko lagta hoga ki aapke kuch karne ya bolne se kuch sulajh sakta hai. Yahi fark hota hai mard aur aurat mein jab hum kisi cheez ka saamna karte hain.

Toh aapke boyfriend ko yahi boliye ki 'sab theek hoga ant mein, bas kuch hi waqt ki baat hai. Aur mein tumhare saath hoon.'
Yeh 'mein tumhare saath hoon' ka matlab yeh nahin ki woh har baar aapse madad le ya aapse har baat share kare tab aap unko saath ho...iska matlab yeh hai ki agar woh kuch samay paristithi sudharne ke liye chupi rakhe ya thodi dorri rakhe, toh aap phir bhi unka saath degi...yeh muhskil zaroor hai par yeh karne se unko yakeen hoga ki aap binaa koi shart ke unke saath hain...
Yahi hoga aapka emotional and mental support. Aur jab woh kuch aapse share karte hain toh sun lijiye binaa koi salaah diye aur jab salaah maange, toh dijiye. Aapka yeh ravaiyya hi badaa sukoon dega unko.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |431 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello sir mai 28 year ki hoo mai abhi llb kar rahi hoo mai last 7 year se relationship mai hoo vo mujse 25 year bade hai saruaat 1 to 2 year inhone muje bhot priorities di ab hum 3 to 4 month mai kabhi milte hai hum dono alag alag city mai hai unki bhot badi family hai or finincially bhi problem chal rahi hai last 3 yaer se vo.muje priority nai de rahe hum.roj bat karte hai vo mera khyal bhi rakhte hai lekin muje unse ab dur nai hona mene sadi na karne ka decisions Liya hai lekin kitni bar bhot akela feel karti hoo vo muje itna time nai dete phele jaisa nai hai aisa lagta hai.fir vo ku6 help kar de ya pyar se bat bhi kar le.to.lagta hai sab theek hai mai.bhot confused hoo mai.kya karu muje kya karna chahiye ..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Dating someone older than you is not the problem, but the fact that you are making major life decisions based on what he wants and doesn't want is concerning. I am guessing that you decided to not get married because he doesn't want it either. Is that fair to you? You yourself mentioned that you often feel lonely. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't you deserve someone who would love you and would like to spend the rest of their life with you? Please reconsider this relationship. Speak to your partner and ask him what his plans are for the future. Does he want to settle down with you? How will you two continue this relationship in the future? There are many important questions that need answering. Sort them out and you will have the solution to your dilemma.


Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 27, 2024

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |405 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Mera ek 8 saal ka relationship hai me dipression me hu ki kahi wo mujhe chhod na de pr wo kehta hai ki meri job lgne ke baad shadi kr lega ek or baat hum dono pehle bhi shadi ki baat kar chuke hain ghar walo se pr uski family ne jyada dhahej na milne ke karan shadi se mana kr diya tha sath hi ladka bhi family ki bato me aa gya tha me dari hui hu kaise bharosha kru ldka lagataar saririk sambhand me rehta hai mana kr krti to kehta hai ki duriya badh jati hain physical na hone ek tarf me usko chhod nhi skti dusri taraf mere shahir ka istemal ho raha hai mera bharosha uth gaya hain is riste se ladka mujhe nikalne nhi de rha is riste se koshish krti hu to mujhe hi blaim krta hain meri sisters ko call krta h mere Father nhi hain or me bohut preshan hu is problem se
Ans: Dear Sapna,
Aap jo mehsoos kar rahi hain, woh samajhna zaroori hai. Aapka dar, ki wo aapko chhod dega, bohot ghera hai, aur yeh aapke mental health par bhi asar kar raha hai. Aapne kaha ki aapke partner ne aapko shadi ka vishwas diya hai, lekin aapko lagta hai ki wo apne parivaar ki baaton se prabhavit ho raha hai.

Is situation mein aapko apne liye khud se sawal karne ki zaroorat hai. Aapko yeh dekhna hoga ki kya aap iss rishtay mein khush hain, aur kya aapki zarooratein aur khwahishein poori hoti hain. Kya aapke partner ne aapke liye poora bharosa aur samman diya hai? Agar aapko unki taraf se milne wale pyar aur izzat mehsoos nahi hoti, toh yeh sochne ki baat hai.

Agar aapko physical intimacy se takleef ho rahi hai ya aap isse khush nahi hain, toh kya aapne unse is vishay par khuli baat ki hai? Yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki aapka man aur sharir dono ke liye yeh kitna zaroori hai. Agar aapko lagta hai ki wo aapko samajh nahi raha hai ya sirf apne fayde ke liye aapka istemal kar raha hai, toh aapko sochne ki zaroorat hai ki kya yeh rishta aapke liye sahi hai ya nahi. Aapka mental health sabse pehle aata hai, aur agar aap is rishtay se pareshaan hain, toh aapko thoda waqt lene ki zaroorat hai apne liye.

Agar aapko is rishte mein koi bhi doubt hai ya aap khud ko nahi samajh pa rahi hain, toh kisi counselor ya trusted dost se baat karna bhi achha rahega. Woh aapko naye nazariye se sochne mein madad kar sakte hain. Aakhir mein, yaad rakhiye, aap deserving hain pyar, izzat, aur khushi ke. Apne liye khud ka khayal rakhna zaroori hai, chahe wo rishte mein ho ya nahi. Aap akeli nahi hain, aur apne liye sahi faisla lena aapka hak hai.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |431 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
A bit long story I'm 21 student preparing for medical competative entrance exam for past 3 years (21-24).2 year ago this phase I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months with a girl I met in my class .But it didn't last long due to the problems created due to distance as she couldn't understand myself and I couldn't understand herself.so there was a misunderstanding and I couldn't hold on as I was in heavy pressure by exams and financial problems.so I couldn't handle and I felt like too early and broke up with her by losing my mind.she was completely disappointed as I didn't speak to her for more than an year due to one more year preparation.i missed her very much but I didnt tell her.I missed govt seat in border mark and the same year she got into a relationship with another guy in her class.i don't blame her. But I feel like my entire life is shattered and I couldn't move on from that girl till now.I couldn't concentrate on my career too.im kind of person who is always confident in all aspects but I have totally lost my mind .I can see that in an danger situation as age is running and family pressure, everyone of my classmates are far ahead of me I couldn't withstand this situation and couldn't make proper decision in any aspect. Mam please help me out.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns. The first step is to focus on moving on; she has, and you should too. Prioritize your career, your family, and your future. Next, what has happened to your career progress has already happened. It's unfortunate, but there's no way to change that. But give yourself a second chance; work harder and achieve greater things than you even imagined before. Trust me, you are not the only person who is standing in a situation like this. Many have, and many more will. But the ones who have passed this time will give you the same advice that I did.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |682 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Sir, I am 40yrs old. Having monthly takehome salary of 1.1 lakh and rental income of 36000. My investment are 2 flats worth of 1cr. 4 plots in Bhubaneswar worth of 2crs. EPF balance 50 lakh, LIC policies worth of 16 lakhs, NPS worth of 10 lakhs. My monthly saving commitments are - EPF (employee+employer) 28000 NPS 15000 MF 7500 Gold scheme 5000 Financial burden - HL emi of 24000 Monthly expanses 50000 I would like to retire at 50. Please advise for retirement plan with life expectancy of 80yrs.
Ans: Hello;

The value of your investments after 10 years;

A. EPF Corpus+Contribution: 1.6 Cr
B. NPS Corpus+Contribution: 53 L
C. MF(sip) + Gold(sip): 25 L
D. Real estate (land): 3.26 Cr

So sum of A, C & D gives us a corpus of 5.11 Cr

Since you will withdraw NPS before 60 age 80% of corpus will go into annuity while 20% will be available to you.

So you may expect monthly income of around 21 K from annuity(42.4 L).

Balance 10.6 L get added to 5.11L taking your total corpus to ~ 5.2 Cr.

If you invest 5 Cr in a conservative hybrid debt fund and do a SWP at the rate of 3%, you may expect a monthly income of around 1.1 L(post-tax).

Add your monthly rental income of 36 K(No growth factored) and annuity income of 21 K to this and you have total monthly income of 1.67 L after 10 years.

Your current monthly expenses of 50 K after 10 years would be around 90 K and 1.6 L after 20 years.

Considering return of around 7-7.5% from the conservative hybrid debt fund you will still generate inflation adjusted return at 3% SWP after 80 years of age.

Assumptions:
Inflation rate-6%
Return from EPF-8%
Return from NPS-9%
Return from MF-10%
Return from gold-7%
Return from Land-5%
Annuity rate-6%

The spare flat is not considered in this because it will continue to yield you rental income in retirement.

Since real estate(land) returns may fluctuate over 10 years suggest to increase MF sip(6X) as a back-up, also in this case you may decide to retain & invest in NPS upto 60 age.

Of course MF returns are also not assured but you are improving the odds by backing two appreciable assets(RE & equity) over long-term.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Money
My age 62, male, getting rental income Rs. 90k nett. Already subscribing 12.5k in PPF for the past 2 1/2 years. No other investments. My target is 5 crores in 10 years. I already have Mediclaim Rs.50 lakhs for me & wife . Please advice me what to do.
Ans: Your current financial foundation is strong and shows promise:

A rental income of Rs. 90,000 per month provides consistent and predictable cash flow. This stability can serve as the backbone for your investment strategy.

PPF contributions of Rs. 12,500 per month for 2.5 years reflect disciplined saving. However, its returns may be insufficient to achieve a high-growth target like Rs. 5 crores in 10 years.

A robust Mediclaim policy of Rs. 50 lakhs for you and your wife ensures adequate health coverage. This safeguard allows you to focus on wealth-building without worrying about medical emergencies.

Despite these positive factors, achieving Rs. 5 crores in 10 years requires a carefully crafted and growth-oriented strategy.

Defining and Prioritising Your Financial Goals
Achieving Rs. 5 crores is ambitious yet achievable with a focused approach:

Define this target as your primary financial goal over the next decade.

Break it into manageable milestones: for example, Rs. 50 lakhs every 1-2 years in cumulative investments and growth.

Prioritise high-return investments that align with your risk tolerance and financial capacity.

Optimising Existing PPF Contributions
While PPF is a secure investment, its growth potential is limited:

Returns: PPF currently offers an interest rate of approximately 7-7.5%, which barely outpaces inflation.

Contribution Review: Consider capping your PPF contributions at Rs. 1.5 lakh annually (to utilise the Section 80C benefit). This ensures that excess funds are redirected to higher-return investments.

PPF can serve as a low-risk component of your portfolio but should not dominate your investment strategy.

Building a Diversified Investment Portfolio
A diversified portfolio will provide a balance of risk and reward. Include the following components:

1. Equity Mutual Funds for Growth
Equity mutual funds are essential for achieving high returns over the long term:

Large-Cap Funds: These invest in established companies and offer stability with moderate growth. They are ideal for a portion of your portfolio to reduce risk.

Multi-Cap or Flexi-Cap Funds: These provide exposure to companies of all sizes, offering growth and diversification.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds: Avoid these unless you have a high risk tolerance and understand market dynamics.

ELSS Funds: These not only provide tax savings under Section 80C but also deliver market-linked returns.

Why Avoid Index Funds?

Index funds may offer simplicity and lower expense ratios, but they lack flexibility. They cannot adapt to market conditions or capitalise on outperforming sectors. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have the potential to outperform the market, especially in a developing economy like India.

Start with a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in selected funds to build wealth steadily.

2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability
Debt funds add stability to your portfolio and reduce overall risk:

Choose funds with low credit risk and moderate duration to ensure safety and predictable returns.

Debt funds are suitable for short- to medium-term goals or as a fallback during market corrections.

Taxation Note: Both LTCG and STCG on debt funds are taxed as per your income tax slab. This should be factored into your planning.

3. Balanced Advantage Funds
Balanced advantage funds (BAFs) dynamically allocate assets between equity and debt. They:

Provide exposure to equity while minimising downside risk.

Offer a suitable option for someone nearing retirement but seeking growth.

4. Gold Investments for Diversification
Allocate a small portion (5-10%) of your portfolio to gold:

Gold serves as a hedge against inflation and currency depreciation.

Choose gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds for ease of liquidity and better returns.

Emergency Fund Creation
Having an emergency fund is non-negotiable:

Maintain at least 6-12 months of expenses in liquid investments like liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.

This ensures liquidity for unforeseen events without disturbing your long-term investments.

Focus on Retirement Planning
At 62, balancing growth and safety becomes critical:

Estimate your monthly retirement expenses, considering inflation over the next 10-15 years.

Your target of Rs. 5 crores should primarily serve as your retirement corpus.

Allocate assets thoughtfully:

60-70% in equity funds for growth.
30-40% in debt funds for stability.
Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain this allocation.

Strategic Tax Planning
Tax efficiency can significantly impact your returns:

Continue using Section 80C to its full potential, including ELSS funds and PPF.

Consider the National Pension System (NPS) for an additional Rs. 50,000 deduction under Section 80CCD(1B).

Be mindful of the new taxation rules for mutual funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%; STCG at 20%.
Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income slab.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to optimise your tax strategy.

Regular Portfolio Monitoring and Rebalancing
Investing is not a one-time activity:

Review your portfolio every six months or annually to track performance.

Rebalance your asset allocation periodically to align with your financial goals and risk appetite.

Stay committed to SIPs even during market downturns, as this ensures cost-averaging.

Additional Suggestions
Avoid Over-Reliance on PPF
While PPF is safe, it is not sufficient for wealth creation. Shift excess contributions to equity-based investments for better returns.

Avoid Direct Stocks
Direct equity investing requires time, expertise, and constant monitoring. It carries higher risk and may lead to losses without proper research. Instead, rely on equity mutual funds managed by professionals.

Avoid Mixing Insurance and Investments
Do not invest in ULIPs or endowment plans, as they offer suboptimal returns. Stick to pure insurance products for protection and mutual funds for growth.

The Role of a Certified Financial Planner
To achieve Rs. 5 crores, a well-crafted financial plan is essential. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can:

Analyse your current investments and recommend improvements.

Design a customised strategy tailored to your income, expenses, and goals.

Provide periodic reviews to ensure you stay on track.

Finally
Achieving Rs. 5 crores in 10 years is a realistic goal if you adopt a disciplined and diversified approach.

Optimise your PPF contributions and channel excess funds into higher-growth investments.

Build a diversified portfolio with equity and debt mutual funds.

Include a small allocation to gold and maintain an emergency fund.

Stay consistent with your SIPs and review your investments regularly.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to create a personalised roadmap.

By following these steps, you can secure your financial future and meet your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x