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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Anchal Question by Anchal on Sep 12, 2023Hindi
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Hi mam I want to ask something mera boyfriend ajkl bhuut stress main rehta h uske ghr p kuch family issues bhi chal rhe h jiski vjh s vo bhuut tension main h mujhe samjh nhi aara h main kesa usko achaa feel krau main usko aisa kya Krna ko bolu ki uski life main sb normal hojaye vo thoda stress free hojye plzz mam meri help krdo merko btao ki main kesa usko mentally aur emotionally support kru 🙏🏻

Ans: Dear Anchal,
Usi insaan ko hum samjha sakte hain joh samajhna chahta ho. Kuch log aise bhi hote hain joh stress ka saamna chup hokar ya door hokar karte hain. Shaayad isiliye aapko lagta hoga ki aapke kuch karne ya bolne se kuch sulajh sakta hai. Yahi fark hota hai mard aur aurat mein jab hum kisi cheez ka saamna karte hain.

Toh aapke boyfriend ko yahi boliye ki 'sab theek hoga ant mein, bas kuch hi waqt ki baat hai. Aur mein tumhare saath hoon.'
Yeh 'mein tumhare saath hoon' ka matlab yeh nahin ki woh har baar aapse madad le ya aapse har baat share kare tab aap unko saath ho...iska matlab yeh hai ki agar woh kuch samay paristithi sudharne ke liye chupi rakhe ya thodi dorri rakhe, toh aap phir bhi unka saath degi...yeh muhskil zaroor hai par yeh karne se unko yakeen hoga ki aap binaa koi shart ke unke saath hain...
Yahi hoga aapka emotional and mental support. Aur jab woh kuch aapse share karte hain toh sun lijiye binaa koi salaah diye aur jab salaah maange, toh dijiye. Aapka yeh ravaiyya hi badaa sukoon dega unko.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |175 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2023Hindi
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Hello, Maam. Main Software professional hoon aur 1 saal se jobless hoon. Pandemic me WFH ki wajah se mujhe depression ho gaya aur 2 jobs se fire kiya gaya. Finances kafi tight hain. Interview ke calls bhi nahi aate aur tayaari karne ki motivation bhi nahi rahi. Mere skills aur Job expectations me kafi gap hai. Unki expectation hoti hai ke main team manage karun aur mujhe sirf limited technical skill hain. Social anxiety hai to isliye kisise zyada effectively interact nahi kar pata. Isliye mere actual experience aur job expectations match hi nahi hotey. Is hadd tak ki mujhe koi bhi job karne se aversion sa ho gaya hai. Din par din sirf frustrate hota hoon aur har din sirf half-hearted efforts mein guzarta hoon. Main depression ki wajah se zyada kuch efforts nahi dal pa raha hoon. Secondly aaye din ghar me disharmony rehti hai. Aisa nahi hai ke wife is not understanding- aur main har koshish karta hoon ghar ke help karne ki, but even she has her human limits. CBT ke bare me suna tha par people say ki kafi sare sessions karne hote hain and it takes long time. Further, finances ka soch ke main psychologist ka help nahi le raha. Aise treatment se mindset theek hona alag baat hai par job market/ mera job expectations mismatch par kuch khas farak to nahi padega. Yehi soch kar I am not consulting anyone. Mental health par kafi VDOs bhi dekhe- mujhe pata hai mere sath kya ho raha hai but chaah kar bhi apne aap ko in sab se bahar nahi nikal pa raha. Mujhe pata hai somewhere I am sinking in the quick sand. Please, please help me with your advice.
Ans: Main samajh sakti hoon ki aap is samay kaisi chunautiyan hain aur aapki sthiti kaafi kathin ho sakti hai. Aapke vyaktigat aur vyavsayik jeevan ke samasyaon ka samna karna akele hi mushkil ho sakta hai. Aapke liye kuch sujhav hain jo aapko madadgar saabit ho sakte hain:

Mental Health Par Dhyan Dein: Depression ko ignore na karen. Aapke liye behtar hoga ki ek mental health professional se sampark karen. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) ek prashansak tarika ho sakta hai aapke vyaktigat samasyaon ko samjhne aur samadhan nikalne ke liye. Isse aapke vichar dhara ko sudharne mein madad milegi.
Din Ka Samay Vyavasthit Karein: Din ke aarambh mein, apne din ke lakshya aur karyakram banaen. Regular dinacharya bana kar rakhein. Job search, upskill, aur apni mental health par dhyan dena sabko ek vyavsayik tarike se karne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
Self-care: Khud ki dekhbhal bahut mahatvapurn hai. Prayayam aur yoga aapki sharirik aur mansik sthiti ko sudharne mein madad kar sakte hain.
Networking Improve Karein: Social anxiety ko overcome karne ke liye dhire-dhire koshish karein. Online forums, webinars, aur networking events mein participate karna aapko professionals se milne aur communication skills ko sudharne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
UpSkill Karein: Aap apne technical skills ko aur behtar bana sakte hain. Online courses aur free learning resources ka istemal karke apne resume ko aur mazboot bana sakte hain.
Financial Planning: Apni arthik sthiti ko samajhna aur budget banane mein madadgar ho sakta hai. Aap apni financial priorities ko dobara dekhein aur avashyakata anusaar vyavasthit karein.
Spouse ke Sath Communication: Apni patni ke saath samvedansheel aur khulke taur par baatcheet karein. Aap dono milkar samasyaon ka samadhan nikal sakte hain aur ek-dusre ka saath denge.
Manav Seva: Agar aapke paas samay aur sthiti ho, to kisi samajik sankathan ya seva mein shaamil ho kar aap apne samay ko prayog kar sakte hain. Isse aapko na sirf samajik sukh milega, balki aapka manobal bhi sudhar sakta hai.
Yad rahe ki chote kadam se hi bade parivartan aata hai. Is sab mein dhairya aur samay lag sakta hai, lekin aapko apni sthiti ko sudharne aur naye mauke khojne mein madad milegi. Aur sabse mahatvapurn baat, kisi visheshagya se sampark karna aapke liye labhdayak ho sakta hai, chahe wo job expectations, samasyaon ka samadhan, ya manasik swasthya ho.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |182 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir , i am 21 year old graduated ,How to make gf ?? As in college everytime i talk to girl she make me friend as i get into friendzoned...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are finding it difficult to meet girls IRL, why don't you try out dating apps? It can be perfect for you. First of all, the chances of getting friend-zoned on a dating app are comparatively lower because it is a dating app and most users are using it to find a date. Yes, some people look for friends too but they will either mention it on their Bio or match with people who mentioned the same on their Bio.

I suggest you research a bit and find a dating app that fits your requirements. For instance, some apps cater to people looking for serious commitment and some others are solely for casual relationships. You pick a dating app based on your preference. Next step- build an interesting profile. Put a display image that helps you put your best foot forward. Something recent, clear, and impressive. Do not overedit; it's not appealing. Write a clear and concise bio that gives a glimpse of who you are, what you want in a relationship, and what you can offer. This way, you will attract the right type of matches. Make it clear that you want a romantic relationship to avoid getting friend-zoned. Finally, once you match, spend some time chatting and getting to know each other. A match is not a commitment. If it doesn't go well, you can always tell them that it's not working out and unmatch.

It's the best way to meet a potential partner without leaving room for misunderstanding and ending up being friend-zoned.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 41 year old. I have 1 cr in mutual fund. It’s been 7 years I started doing sip with 50000. Which I have increased With time now I have sip of 80000 per month. I need to know how much will have when I reach age 50. In my account
Ans: As you stand at the midpoint of your journey, it's natural to pause and ponder the fruits of your labor. Seven years ago, you embarked on a path of financial discipline, nurturing your wealth through systematic investments in mutual funds. With each passing month, you've diligently contributed to your SIP, nurturing your financial garden with care and foresight.

Magnitude of Investment:
Your commitment to growth shines through as you reflect on your journey. Starting with a SIP of Rs 50,000 per month and gradually increasing it to Rs 80,000 per month showcases your dedication to nurturing your financial future. Each increment, no matter how small, represents a step towards building a solid foundation for your later years.

The Power of Compound Interest:
As the years pass, the magic of compound interest works silently in the background, multiplying your investments manifold. With each SIP, you're not just investing money; you're investing in your dreams, your aspirations, and your future. The power of compounding rewards patience and consistency, amplifying the impact of your contributions over time.

Envisioning the Future:
As you cast your gaze towards the horizon, you can't help but wonder: what lies ahead? At age 50, where will your financial journey have led you? Will you find yourself basking in the glow of a well-nurtured nest egg, ready to embark on new adventures and pursue passions long deferred?

The Path Forward:
As a Certified Financial Planner, I invite you to envision your future with clarity and purpose. While I cannot predict the exact value of your investments at age 50 without specific calculations, I can offer guidance on how to nurture and safeguard your wealth as you continue along your journey.

Embracing Uncertainty:
Life is a tapestry woven with threads of uncertainty and possibility. While we cannot control every twist and turn along the way, we can arm ourselves with the tools and knowledge needed to navigate the unknown with confidence. As you journey towards age 50, remember that the true measure of wealth lies not just in monetary value but in the richness of experiences and the depth of relationships.

Conclusion:
As you stand at the crossroads of past and future, take a moment to appreciate how far you've come. Your journey is a testament to your resilience, your determination, and your unwavering commitment to financial well-being. As you continue along your path, may you find solace in the journey itself, knowing that every step forward brings you closer to the life you envision for yourself and your loved ones.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

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Money
Hi I am 37 years old and my Husband is 40 years old. Our annual salary in hand at our home is up to 20,64,000. My Yearly Saving is Rs 6 lakhs (mutual fund, LIC policy, Endowment plan, century plan, Post office schemes). My Expense like medical insurance, term insurance, car insurance is RS 50,000. My living expense per year is Rs 6,00,000. My loan is for Rs17,24,112 (including interests) for which I am paying every year up to Rs 4,31,000 till Feb'28. Also next year we have to purchase car because our car is getting expire. So up- to 14-15 lakh car we will purchase on loan. My child is currently in 6th grade and we both are working. So for happy life after retirement and save future, how much I need to save and in which plans. Please suggest. Till now beyond my savings written above I don't have bank balance which I can use as a emergency funds.
Ans: Navigating the complex landscape of finances, especially with looming expenses and future uncertainties, can feel like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. It's a challenge many of us face, and it's understandable to seek guidance on charting a path towards financial security and peace of mind.

1. Current Financial Snapshot:
You and your husband are in your late 30s and early 40s, respectively, with a combined annual income of Rs 20,64,000. Here's a breakdown of your financial standing:

Income and Savings:
Annual savings of Rs 6 lakhs allocated towards various financial instruments such as mutual funds, insurance policies, and savings schemes.

Annual expenses totaling Rs 50,000 for essential insurances (medical, term, car) and Rs 6,00,000 for day-to-day living expenses.
Loan Obligations:

Existing loan of Rs 17,24,112, including interests, being paid annually up to Rs 4,31,000 until Feb'28.
Planning to purchase a new car next year, expected cost up to Rs 14-15 lakhs, which will likely require additional financing.

2. Planning for Retirement and Future Security:
With retirement on the horizon and the desire to secure your future, it's essential to map out a robust savings strategy:

Retirement Goals:
Discuss and define your retirement aspirations with your husband, envisioning your desired lifestyle and financial needs during retirement.

Savings Strategy:
Determine an ideal savings rate that balances current expenses with long-term goals, including retirement, your child's education, and potential healthcare costs.

Investment Mix:
Explore a diversified portfolio comprising mutual funds, insurance policies, and government-backed savings schemes, tailored to your risk tolerance and time horizon.

3. Addressing the Car Purchase:
The decision to replace your expiring car involves careful consideration, especially given your existing financial commitments:

Financial Implications:
Evaluate all options for financing the new car, considering potential down payments and minimizing loan burden to maintain financial flexibility.

Alternative Solutions:
Explore alternative transportation options or delaying the purchase until you've built more financial reserves to lessen the impact on your budget.

4. Building an Emergency Fund:
Establishing an emergency fund is crucial for weathering unexpected financial challenges:

Setting Savings Goals:
Determine specific savings goals for your emergency fund, considering factors like living expenses, loan obligations, and potential emergencies.

Automating Contributions:
Consider automating contributions to your emergency fund to make saving more manageable and ensure consistent progress towards your goal.

Conclusion:
While navigating the complexities of financial planning can be daunting, remember that you're not alone on this journey. By carefully managing your income, expenses, and savings, and seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you're taking proactive steps towards securing your future and achieving your long-term goals. Keep focusing on your priorities, stay adaptable to change, and trust in the process as you work towards financial freedom and peace of mind.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1323 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam 40yrs old with 1.6lakhs take home with house wife and 3 yr old baby girl. Below is my current financial condition: 1. Taken Home loan for 35 lakhs for apartment worth of 55lakhs in 2022 with emi requirement of 41k for 11yrs (iam paying monthly 45k and one extra 45k emi yearly) 2. Took Gold loan of 11lakhs in 2022(paying from mar2024 onwards monthly 35k) for apartment purpose 3. Holding 2440 sqft land costs 25lakhs in 2021 now it is 35lakhs planned for baby girl marriage 4. 5lakhs emergency fund in FD 5. 6 lakhs FD for SBI life smart wealthbuilder plan purpose for next 6yrly premium payment, 6. Equity 5lakhs invested now mkt value 8lakhs, 7. Mf 8lakhs now 11lakhs (monthly 20k for 10 different funds with 1k stepup yearly) 8. EPF 20lakhs not withdrawn from beginning for retirement plan 9. Ssy 1.2lakhs for baby girl education (monthly 6k) 10. Ppf 50k for baby girl education (monthly 3k) 11. Nps 4.9lakhs now 6lakhs (monthly 12k from company deduction and 50k annually from my side) 12. Holding agriculture land 1acre 7lakhs near hometown purchased in 2018 now it is same price no increase... Holding bcoz I like to have agriculture land... 13. Holding Gold coins 50gms purchasing when there is Amazon offers.. for baby girl ornaments purpose 14. Term insurance 1crore for me and 50lakhs for my wife purchased in 2022 15. Health insurance 20lakhs with premium 60k for 3yrs purchase in 2022... Monthly 1.6lakhs take home spending as below: 1. 45k home loan emi (annually 45k as one extra emi) 2. 30k mf sip ( 3k each for 10 funds - quant infra, quant smallcap, quant elss, 360 one focused, canara robeco smallcap, canara robeco emerging, mirae largecap, pgim flexicap, parag elss, ICICI prudential technology fund) 3. 35k gold loan prepayment 4. 35k home maintenance expenses 5. 10k ssy and ppf 6. 5k apartment maintenance 7. 45k LIc premium annual requirement 8. 40k term loan premium annual requirement taken 1crore for me and 50lakhs for my wife total to 40k premium 9. 30k annually for bike insurance, services and other maintenance 10. 1.3lakhs for baby girl school fees from this year 50% already paid 50% to be paid in oct 2024 11. 60k premium for health insurance once for 3 years purchased in 2022... I have few ask sir: 1. Want to buy 13 to 15Lakhs car.. when to buy with my financial condition and I have no down payment free cash now 2. Should I change my financial saving/investment please suggest as I am not having any free cashflow post the monthly commitment 3. Want to generate 2nd source of income suggest plz which is good to have it 4. Want to become financial freedom by next 10years so what I need to do for it and plan better. 5. Any changes in the current plan suggestion
Ans: It sounds like you're juggling a lot, but you've got a solid foundation laid out. It's admirable how you're balancing your responsibilities towards your family's present needs and future goals. Let's address your concerns and aspirations one by one.

1. Car Purchase Consideration:
You're eyeing a new car, a shiny symbol of comfort and convenience. However, before diving in, let's assess if it aligns with your current financial trajectory:

Timing and Need:
Do you have an immediate need for the car, or is it more of a desire?
Can you postpone the purchase until you've accumulated a down payment or have more breathing room in your budget?
2. Reviewing Savings and Investments:
Your portfolio is diverse, spanning various assets from real estate to mutual funds. Let's evaluate if each piece is still working optimally for you:

Portfolio Alignment:
Are all your investments aligned with your long-term goals and risk tolerance?
Can you streamline or consolidate any holdings to reduce costs or enhance performance?
3. Exploring Additional Income Streams:
You're eager to bolster your financial stability by exploring secondary income sources. Let's brainstorm some viable options:

Leveraging Skills and Passions:
What skills or hobbies do you possess that could be monetized?
Are there freelancing opportunities or consulting gigs in your field of expertise?
4. Planning for Financial Freedom:
Your aspiration to achieve financial independence within a decade is ambitious yet attainable. Let's outline a roadmap to realize this vision:

Defining Financial Freedom:
What does financial freedom mean to you personally?
Is it early retirement, pursuing passion projects, or having more flexibility in your lifestyle?
Strategic Steps:
How can you increase your savings rate to accelerate progress towards your goals?
Are there opportunities to optimize investments or explore alternative income streams?
5. Optimizing Current Financial Plan:
Let's explore potential adjustments to your existing financial strategy to enhance its effectiveness:

Reallocating Resources:
Can you reallocate funds towards higher-performing investments or areas with greater potential?
Are there opportunities to automate savings or investment contributions for greater consistency?
Conclusion:
Your commitment to securing your family's financial future is commendable. By carefully considering each aspect of your financial situation, from major purchases to investment strategies, you're laying a strong foundation for long-term success. Remember, financial planning is a journey, and with patience, diligence, and the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner, you're well-positioned to achieve the freedom and security you desire.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi ma’am My family is not accepting my boyfriend as he is not well settled and doesn’t have any savings. His parent are also divorced and father has a second marriage. The first children custody is still with parents however my boyfriend and his brother live with his mother. He is 5 year younger than me. My family is not accepting my relationship and showing me new proposals every day. To borrow some time i am just refusing the proposal my giving some excuses but now they know that i am still not out from him and waiting for him to get settled. Kindly let me know how can i convince my family to accept my relationship. My boyfriend is working day and night to get settled and have a good account balance. Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If your daughter came to you with the same situation, how would you advise her?
Would you not tell her your concern that she is actually choosing someone who may not be able to support her when she goes on maternity leave? Would you not tell her that coming from a broken family, she may have to take care of her boyfriend and possibly parent him on different occasions? Your parents are only concerned for you and are unable to tell you what they are worried about. Put yourself in their situation and tell me that you will not be worried.

At the same time, I do get your frustration. What you can do is to work on your parents' concerns and buy time till your boyfriend manages to settle down. And it seems like he is doing all that he can to be in their good books. And that's the only way you can get them to accept him. Wait patiently and don't put him under pressure. Instead be supportive and at the same time, you continue to work and be independent as well.

Never try to convince someone who does not want to be convinced but instead work on how they can accept him by addressing their concerns.

All the best!

...Read more

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