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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I am around 59, I was never married, possibly no luck or rue my past chances when I was young and attractive, I am still in good looks, hit the gym everyday; I like one girl who is single, 29 years old and am seriously interested in her, she is quiet and works in sales-telecom, her english is not so eloquent but I find her very attractive, I am interested to marry her, I met her in th past, she likes my dressing, personality, finds me attractive but never reciprocated to me, she is altogether conservative, I did not have her telephone number and email but got her coordinates from a known person to both, I like her very much. I sent her messages on her email - no obscene messages but like "I adore you", "I like you" etc in hindi; I quietly saw the reciepant in her email "+1" - but cannot fathom this "+1" receipant, so was scared maybe she connected me to her HR or to police but I am a a smart and intelligent bloke; maybe she could put me into police?? -but I never would write anything obscene to her; but whenever I send her message I always write the first line - "please do not complain" - how to improvise ?? My body functions very fine, my productivity I assume is good because I exercise regularly and before I was a long distance runner; I am definately going to tell her that - I wish to marry her and that "I like you intensely" !! please advise ?? - dreams need to be attempted !! regards

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is important that you speak to her in person instead of emailing her, especially if she is not responding to your mails. It is possible that she is not interested in you romantically or is confused by your advances and assuming them to be not so harmless. The tone matters and hence, speaking face to face is always a better idea. Let her know that you are attracted to her, but if she does not reciprocate, you need to respect that.


Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu,Myself Praveen. I appreciate your writings on Rediff. First of all thanks for that.I would like to ask guidance or your thoughts on establishing a relationship with my lady friend. I met her 4 years back in my old office and we got in company soon and started talking and somewhat share most of the personal s***s too. I started having feelings for her. I mean I wish to have a marital relationship with her because I am very comfortable with her. But I was unable to make any move or feared of losing her company if I tell her my love.That time I never knew her age. Later I moved from that job to pursue some personal goals so I moved to some other place without the knowledge of my own family. The only person who knew about it was her. She stood with me and emotionally supported me and was knowing that it was my strong wish of having that dream/goal. We were in touch as nice friends. Her phone calls were happy moments for me because I was alone at my new place where I'd gone to pursue my dream. Someday she called me and during call she was upset. That day she shared some of her personal things and during the conversation I realised that she is 8 years older than me and she is at her mid 30s. Firstly, it was like a shock for me. I wondered why a beautiful girl like she not got into a marriage or any other serious relationship still that age. Okay, that doesn't matter me. However, knowing about most of the complexity in this partnership including support from both family or cliche society thoughts; I decided to have her as my life partner. But still I am not able to make a move like that. Somehow, I had to come back to my homeplace and sorry to say that I failed to pursue my goal which was bit depressing. Still I couldn't make a move to talk her about this. I am getting an odd feeling that she treats me as a brother or a nice friend only. I am confused when she calls me bro. Some days ago she told me that I am her good brother. Frankly I don't like her calling me bro. I still love her and I always see her as my life partner.The thing is I fear that I may lose her company if I express my love for her. Also I fear that she may emotionally get low if she really considering me as her brother. I don't want to give her any pain, but meanwhile I couldn't miss her in my life. Nowadays, we rarely talk on phone or meet because some of her professional engagements. That is not a problem for me. I respect her as well as her personal space. Only thing I want is to communicate her about my mind and having a relationship with her. I know she might also be concerned about our age gap as well as what society may say, but I don't care such rubbish. I strongly believe that I can be a great partner. Share your thoughts on making an approach without giving her any emotional pain or trauma.
Ans:

Dear PB,

Thank you for your kind words on my writings and columns. Highly appreciate it.

I cannot assure you of the fact of her not having any emotional reactions. Her reactions are not something that you can control.

The easiest way to resolve this confusion that you are going through is to simply express it. It’s similar to how children are.

Have you seen them say things without a filter and unfazed by how the other person will react?

Then along came the adults and asked them to keep quiet and then the child in us grew up to become a recluse and ignore our own feelings.

I agree there is an etiquette and social norms to be followed as adults but to not be able to express our feelings is nothing but conditioning from our childhood.

And what did it teach us? It taught us to avoid the rejection and ensuing disappointment.

That’s exactly what you are running away from; all the rejection that may happen and the disappointment from that.

But what use is that love if you can’t express it for fear of rejection. If you feel so strongly about it, approach it boldly and very gently.

Yes, it may shock her and it’s possible she has no feelings or sees you as a brother, but at least you know where the connection stands.

Now whether she is going to be hurt or not is a question of how emotionally mature she is.

So, before you start the conversation, do request her to hear you fully and not judge you for your honesty. This may ease her shock and help her respond rather than react to you.

On your part, keep your expectations to a low and smile through the situation. It helps lighten the load that you might be carrying.

All the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2026Hindi
Career
My ward got All India Rank 171092 (89%ile) (general male) in JEE Mains. From West Bengal. He is looking for Mechanical, Robotics, Mechatronics or other related branches with good education and prospects for abroad MS.
Ans: With a CRL around 1.71 lakh, as a General male from West Bengal Home State, getting Mechanical at IIEST Shibpur or NIT Durgapur through regular JoSAA is unrealistic since in 2024 IIEST Shibpur Mechanical (HS Open) closed at rank 34,075 and NIT Durgapur Mechanical (OS Open) at 26,917. Admission to IIITs is even less likely because most do not offer Mechanical-related branches and are more competitive. JoSAA’s (opening & closing ranks) archive is the best source to review 2022–2024 trends. More feasible options include CSAB Special Rounds, selected GFTIs, and some newer or lower-demand NIT core branches if vacancies arise, such as Mechanical or Production Engineering at NIT Agartala and Mechanical at BIT Mesra. For pursuing MS abroad, focus on Mechanical, Production, or Materials at the best institute available, then build a strong CGPA, project experience, skills in CAD, controls, robotics, internships, and research. Between college reputation and niche branch, college quality combined with academic performance matters more. Also consider WBJEE counseling and good private colleges as solid backup options instead of relying only on JoSAA/WBJEE. ALL the BEST for Your Ward's Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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