Hi Anu,
Hope you are well. I have recently started reading your column and I like the way you give suggestions and help people to overcome whatever issues they are going through in this beautiful journey called life.
There is something that I would like to tell you and would need your suggestion and advise.
There is a lady whom I know for over 4 decades living close to my house. Her father and my father are colleagues and used to work together and they are best friends. She knows me right from a very early age and she is quite elder to me by 8 or 10 years perhaps.
Recently I happened to send her some MMS porn clips which I got from a group. I thought she will shout at me and block me...but she didn't do that. I still send her sometimes when I get such clips. Recently she said that this is not real. I don't know what she means by that. During my adult years when I was 21-22 years old I used to fantasise having a physical relationship with her. I had my own reasons because of the way she used to behave with me when I’d go to her house. But I never tried initiating it maybe because of lack of confidence or fear of getting scolded by her. Her kids are studying in America (masters level) and United Kingdom (graduation level).
Few months ago I lied to her that there is a lady near my office who is the divorcee and is trying to get close to me physically and she is inviting me to her house a couple of times. The reason I told her this lie was to know how she will react...
The moment I told her this she told me don't go to such people, just avoid her and tell her that you are in a relationship with me. I even told her that the lady who is the divorcee is asking me if I am having a physical relationship with her whom I know since childhood days. She just laughed and said your divorcee friend is mad...She even said that the divorcee friend (whom I created out of my imagination) is stuck because of my childhood friend.
Whenever I ask my childhood friend to meet up she always tells me that she is busy and that she does not like anyone coming to her house because her husband might not like it.
Anu what do you think? Is my childhood friend whom I know for 4 decades interested in having a sexual relationship with me but is not initiating it thinking that it will affect our married lives. Women will not do anything that will disturb their life security system. She is very rich because her husband is a corporate employee holding a leadership position and well paid around a crore per year. Will she allow me if I initiate sex with her?
Please understand that I don't know how to initiate that as she doesn't want me to visit her in her house. She doesn't go out much but rather spends time home and goes out with her husband for Sunday church mass sometimes or goes to the nearby chapel for praying.
I am happily married for the last 12 years.
Last week also I sent her an MMS and she replied with an emoji (a grinning face with star eyes). What does this mean?
Is she really wanting to have sex with me but waiting for me to initiate or she is doing time pass with me? I am willing to get physical with her.
Please advise me... Thanks for reading this till the end.

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Ans: You have taken the first step by recognising the need to plan. It’s essential to appreciate your intention to secure your financial future. Let’s look at how you can proceed to achieve your short-term and long-term goals.

Your current take-home salary is Rs 53,000, and your EPF contribution is Rs 4,900. However, you lack savings, investments, and an emergency fund. Here's a step-by-step strategy:

Build an Emergency Fund
Set aside funds to cover at least six months' expenses.

Start by saving 10-15% of your salary monthly into a high-interest savings account.

Use Recurring Deposits or Liquid Mutual Funds to maintain this fund for emergencies.

Secure Yourself with Insurance
Health insurance: Maintain your company health policy but add a personal health policy. Choose a policy offering a sum insured of Rs 10-15 lakh.

Term insurance: Buy a term plan covering 10-15 times your annual income. Keep the policy simple and avoid investment-linked insurance.

Budget Your Income
Allocate your income carefully for expenses, savings, and investments.

Use the 50-30-20 rule: 50% for needs, 30% for wants, and 20% for savings and investments.

Avoid unnecessary expenses to increase your saving capacity.

Start Investing Gradually
Short-term goals (1-5 years): Invest in debt funds or recurring deposits. Debt mutual funds are good for stable returns.

Long-term goals (5+ years): Invest in equity mutual funds for higher returns. Choose actively managed funds with consistent performance.

Avoid index funds. Actively managed funds have a better potential for higher returns through professional fund management.

Retirement Planning
Utilise the EPF for retirement. Your current contribution will grow over time with compounding.

Consider investing in diversified equity mutual funds for additional retirement savings.

Corporate NPS: You can explore NPS for its tax-saving benefits. However, don’t rely solely on it for retirement.

Tax-Saving Investments
Use Section 80C to save taxes up to Rs 1.5 lakh.

EPF, PPF, ELSS mutual funds, and life insurance premiums can qualify under this section.

Opt for ELSS funds for tax saving and wealth creation.

Review Existing Expenses
Evaluate and minimise unnecessary expenditures.

Avoid loans for discretionary spending like vacations or gadgets.

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A CFP can help you plan holistically and ensure you stick to your goals.

They provide tailored strategies, ensuring proper fund allocation and monitoring.

Invest through a Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP credentials to access professional advice.

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Automate investments through SIPs in mutual funds.

Track your monthly budget and investment progress regularly.

Avoid direct funds. Regular funds offer professional guidance and fund distributor support.

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For equity mutual funds, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh attracts 12.5% tax.

STCG on equity funds is taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab. Consider these while investing.

Final Insights
You are in the right direction by seeking advice now. Build a solid foundation with savings, insurance, and investments. Take small steps toward financial independence.

Remain consistent with your investments, and review your financial plan annually.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Hi
you have to write the year when you first appeared 12th.

Ans: Hi Shreya
If you are preparing well for JEE MAIN then BITSAT will be easier for you. JEE ADV requires a completely different outlook and approach as it is considered one of the toughest examinations in the world.

In comparison to ADV, the SAT will be very easy for you. But studying undergrad in USA is a very costly affair, if finances are no issue for you then you can go ahead with it.

Recently BITS campuses have started integrated programs with foreign universities wherein you study 2 years in India & 2 years abroad.

Providing a complete road map is not possible here, but I must say that for JEE MAIN sticking to NCERT & PYQs will be very helpful to you.

Ans: Hi Sudhir
don't worry about the placements first. Ask your son to build a good portfolio in engineering. Work on projects in & out, present papers, participate in workshops of coding etc. Even if not many companies visit the campus or lower average package these skills will make him sail through the career. 1st year may be a bit hard for him after placements but with these skills & knowledge, he will shine wherever he goes.

If he clears his dream of NDA or SSB then there is no issue.

All the best.

Ans: Hi Bhima
I must say you have got perseverance & I appreciate your parent's trust in you. You have already appeared multiple times and you are going to appear again in 2025. By the time you will be 25 years old. They say there is no age to learn. But after getting admission you need another 10 years to practice as a qualified specialist. Make sure you take admission in the next session.

If higher cutoff & high fees of private colleges are an issue for you, then try exploring the MBBS abroad option, I can help with that too. Since NEXT is compulsory for Indian & Foreign graduates too it won't make a difference if you study in India or Abroad.

For time forget all the societal pressure and give your 100% and make your parents proud.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I think I have answered your question previously as well. If you are so conflicted about getting intimate, then you should take it as a sign to slow things down. And what do you mean that your ex is provoking you? No one, man or woman, should provoke, manipulate, or force someone into getting physically intimate. It should be your decision and yours alone.
I hope this helps.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how conflicted you must be feeling right now, and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I could tell you what would be the right thing to do, but it has to be your decision and yours alone. All I can suggest is to take a beat and not rush into deciding anything.

Take everything into consideration-
On the one hand, infidelity is indeed unacceptable in a relationship. But on the other, it was in the initial stage. He might not have been as serious about the relationship as you during those days. Nevertheless, the timing does not make his action justifiable. I suggest you have an open conversation and ask him why he felt the need to do this. Ask him if he did not consider your feelings. What's concerning is that he did not stop after the first time; he went back twice more. I am not judging his choice of location but the fact that he was in a committed relationship puts him in the wrong. Also, blaming it on peer pressure is inexcusable; this isn't something funny or trivial he did because his friends dared him to. Ask him to take accountability and understand that actions have consequences.

Take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide is okay. And if at any point you want to pick yourself over the relationship, I want you to understand that it is completely alright. You will feel like it's a selfish decision, but it isn't. Remember that. Please do what you need to help you heal from this.

Best Wishes.