Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Lost Question by Lost on Oct 06, 2020Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Anu, I have depression. I am unable to sleep, have lost appetite, drowned in my own thoughts.

The reason for my depression is that I had gone to Australia to pursue my Masters, however the course went online from the first day itself and I could not meet anyone or make any friends.

I felt completely isolated in a foreign country.

I found the online classes quite hard and not beneficial. Therefore I cancelled my enrollment and came back to India.

However I feel ashamed of myself quitting the course midway, but my parents have always supported my decision.

I have excellent grades in my bachelors degree, but when I returned from Australia, I lost all my focus and just stressed out what will happen tomorrow. Kindly help me on how do I overcome this.

Ans: Dear Lost Guy, can you firstly be thankful that you have such wonderful parents who stand by your decision and love and support you?

Second, unless you have been clinically diagnosed, you don’t have depression.

What you possibly are feeling is upset, sad and disappointed and inability to sleep or losing appetite can be because of this.

What you might want to do is ask: “Why did I cancel my enrolment when I could have gone through the course like many others would have?

Now that I am back in India, what best can I do to pursue a course that will put me back in the game without any more loss of time?”

Focus on what you want and you will see your energies return.

Simply draw a picture of what you wanted to do always; agreed that the location might have changed, but you are the same person who wanted to do his Masters.

Who knows what India might have in store for you!

And put on those jogging shoes and hit the track; it can positively impact the mind and do remember: Every challenge has an opportunity for growth and YES you CAN.

Wishing you a beautiful future!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Listen
Relationship
I’m facing depression problem since last 28 years during that period I have shivering in hands and legs, have brain disorder, appetite is not proper, I don't enjoy anything. I don't like taking bath, don't like going out, don't like changing clothes, every moment feels suicidal but I have controlled myself these years. I have also opted for psychiatric treatment, I come out of it but again after a year or so I again get depression there is some chemical imbalance in my brain. I got Divorced because of this disease my life got shattered. I really don't know what to do.
Ans: Dear A, I can only imagine what you are going through. Do you want to feel better not for anyone else, but for yourself?

Break this mould that you are in please. You already have by sharing here on this platform. So that’s a courageous step towards a better life.

How can you do this?

This may sound very instructional, but since you aren’t a client that I work directly with, this is something I can offer you on top of my mind.

Firstly, please work with a Psychiatrist who also believes in alternate intensive Mind Therapy that you absolute need right now.

They need to work in tandem for you to get to a better state. There will be a point in time when the medication can be weaned off as the alternate therapy starts to work on you. That’s why both these experts need to see eye to eye and work for you and with you and not stick to their ground. Please touch base with groups/friends who can help you

In the interim, do the following almost like a prescription…it can be an ally to you.

  • I want you to cover your walls with pictures of positive quotes and images that you can see first thing in the morning
  • Hang out with people who nurture and nourish you
  • Eat only freshly cooked food without preservatives
  • Everyday pen down 5 things that you are grateful for
  • Spend time with Nature; walk barefoot on grass, immerse your hand into water for a few minutes everyday and let go of what doesn’t serve you
  • Spend time going back into places in your mind when you actually were happy; celebrate it

And most importantly, move in with your family and allow them to step into care for you till you are back on your feet.

Please take care and I wish you a good healing.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

..Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10849 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025
Career
Hi everyone..I am Poornima kashyap currently studying in class 12. I am a humanities student with subjects- english, political science, maths, economics and psychology. I have developed anxiety because of my toxic family and i am not able to concentrate at all. I have no space to study. Earlier i wanted to pursue a career in psychology but now as i am studying it i am realising that it is not my cup of tea. I have no hopes about my life and future. I always had and still have a passion for travelling and want to get rid of this toxic family and house. Please somebody enlighten me or it will be difficult for me to even survive without a goal
Ans: Poornima, your struggles with anxiety and a toxic family environment are real and challenging, but you are not alone. Many students feel lost or hopeless in such situations. It’s important to reach out for help—school counselors, teachers, or mental health professionals can offer guidance and coping strategies, even if family support is lacking. Academically, your humanities background with maths and economics opens diverse career paths. Since you have a passion for travel and want independence, consider courses in hospitality and tourism management, travel journalism, international relations, or foreign languages. These fields can lead to careers that involve travel and personal growth. Look for scholarships or entrance exams that allow you to study away from home, giving you both space and new opportunities. Online courses and internships can also help you develop skills and confidence. Remember, your current circumstances do not dictate your future. Set small, achievable goals—such as preparing for college applications or learning new skills—that move you toward independence. Stay connected with supportive people, whether friends, teachers, or online communities. You have the resilience to overcome your current challenges and create a fulfilling, independent life. Take one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2025

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x