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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1725 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Lost Question by Lost on Oct 06, 2020Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, I have depression. I am unable to sleep, have lost appetite, drowned in my own thoughts.

The reason for my depression is that I had gone to Australia to pursue my Masters, however the course went online from the first day itself and I could not meet anyone or make any friends.

I felt completely isolated in a foreign country.

I found the online classes quite hard and not beneficial. Therefore I cancelled my enrollment and came back to India.

However I feel ashamed of myself quitting the course midway, but my parents have always supported my decision.

I have excellent grades in my bachelors degree, but when I returned from Australia, I lost all my focus and just stressed out what will happen tomorrow. Kindly help me on how do I overcome this.

Ans: Dear Lost Guy, can you firstly be thankful that you have such wonderful parents who stand by your decision and love and support you?

Second, unless you have been clinically diagnosed, you don’t have depression.

What you possibly are feeling is upset, sad and disappointed and inability to sleep or losing appetite can be because of this.

What you might want to do is ask: “Why did I cancel my enrolment when I could have gone through the course like many others would have?

Now that I am back in India, what best can I do to pursue a course that will put me back in the game without any more loss of time?”

Focus on what you want and you will see your energies return.

Simply draw a picture of what you wanted to do always; agreed that the location might have changed, but you are the same person who wanted to do his Masters.

Who knows what India might have in store for you!

And put on those jogging shoes and hit the track; it can positively impact the mind and do remember: Every challenge has an opportunity for growth and YES you CAN.

Wishing you a beautiful future!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1725 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

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Relationship
I’m facing depression problem since last 28 years during that period I have shivering in hands and legs, have brain disorder, appetite is not proper, I don't enjoy anything. I don't like taking bath, don't like going out, don't like changing clothes, every moment feels suicidal but I have controlled myself these years. I have also opted for psychiatric treatment, I come out of it but again after a year or so I again get depression there is some chemical imbalance in my brain. I got Divorced because of this disease my life got shattered. I really don't know what to do.
Ans: Dear A, I can only imagine what you are going through. Do you want to feel better not for anyone else, but for yourself?

Break this mould that you are in please. You already have by sharing here on this platform. So that’s a courageous step towards a better life.

How can you do this?

This may sound very instructional, but since you aren’t a client that I work directly with, this is something I can offer you on top of my mind.

Firstly, please work with a Psychiatrist who also believes in alternate intensive Mind Therapy that you absolute need right now.

They need to work in tandem for you to get to a better state. There will be a point in time when the medication can be weaned off as the alternate therapy starts to work on you. That’s why both these experts need to see eye to eye and work for you and with you and not stick to their ground. Please touch base with groups/friends who can help you

In the interim, do the following almost like a prescription…it can be an ally to you.

  • I want you to cover your walls with pictures of positive quotes and images that you can see first thing in the morning
  • Hang out with people who nurture and nourish you
  • Eat only freshly cooked food without preservatives
  • Everyday pen down 5 things that you are grateful for
  • Spend time with Nature; walk barefoot on grass, immerse your hand into water for a few minutes everyday and let go of what doesn’t serve you
  • Spend time going back into places in your mind when you actually were happy; celebrate it

And most importantly, move in with your family and allow them to step into care for you till you are back on your feet.

Please take care and I wish you a good healing.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

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Relationship
Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.

..Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10826 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025
Career
Hi everyone..I am Poornima kashyap currently studying in class 12. I am a humanities student with subjects- english, political science, maths, economics and psychology. I have developed anxiety because of my toxic family and i am not able to concentrate at all. I have no space to study. Earlier i wanted to pursue a career in psychology but now as i am studying it i am realising that it is not my cup of tea. I have no hopes about my life and future. I always had and still have a passion for travelling and want to get rid of this toxic family and house. Please somebody enlighten me or it will be difficult for me to even survive without a goal
Ans: Poornima, your struggles with anxiety and a toxic family environment are real and challenging, but you are not alone. Many students feel lost or hopeless in such situations. It’s important to reach out for help—school counselors, teachers, or mental health professionals can offer guidance and coping strategies, even if family support is lacking. Academically, your humanities background with maths and economics opens diverse career paths. Since you have a passion for travel and want independence, consider courses in hospitality and tourism management, travel journalism, international relations, or foreign languages. These fields can lead to careers that involve travel and personal growth. Look for scholarships or entrance exams that allow you to study away from home, giving you both space and new opportunities. Online courses and internships can also help you develop skills and confidence. Remember, your current circumstances do not dictate your future. Set small, achievable goals—such as preparing for college applications or learning new skills—that move you toward independence. Stay connected with supportive people, whether friends, teachers, or online communities. You have the resilience to overcome your current challenges and create a fulfilling, independent life. Take one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1725 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2025

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10810 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 30 year old female and am currently suffering because of credit card and app based loans from last three months. The loans amount to 3lakh and my monthly salary is not sufficient. I have considered enrolling with lawyer panel for loan settlement as I am facing harassment from recovery people calling if I miss emi even for two days. Its causing me great distress. I dont want my parents to suffer and also my job. I earn more than 50k per month. Guide me kindly on whether i should enrol for settlement and if not how do I become debt free.
Ans: First, thank you for sharing this openly. It takes courage to talk about financial distress. You’re not alone — many good earners fall into debt traps because of high-interest credit cards and instant app-based loans. You can come out of this with structure and patience. I’ll guide you step by step.

» Understand your situation clearly

You owe around Rs. 3 lakh and earn about Rs. 50,000 per month. That means your debt is roughly six times your monthly income — manageable with proper planning, but it needs strict discipline. The main issue is not the amount, but the interest rate and harassment from unregulated lenders.

» Avoid informal “loan settlement panels” or unverified lawyer groups

It is risky to enroll in private settlement panels or so-called “lawyer panels” unless you’ve verified their legitimacy through a trusted source. Many such agencies:

Charge high upfront fees.

Promise settlement but fail to negotiate effectively.

May worsen your credit score or even lead to legal complications.

Instead, always deal directly with your bank/NBFC. If the app-based loan is from a registered NBFC, you can file a complaint with the RBI Ombudsman if harassment continues.

» Take these first actions immediately

1. Stop taking new loans.
Do not take any new app loan to pay another. This only deepens the trap.

2. Create a clear list of your debts.
Write down:

Lender name

Total due

Interest rate

EMI amount

Remaining tenure

Once it’s all on paper, clarity replaces panic.

3. Prioritise debts.
Pay highest-interest debts (credit cards or app loans) first. Keep making minimum payments on others to protect your credit score.

4. Negotiate directly with lenders.
Call your credit card customer care and ask for a one-time settlement or EMI conversion plan.

Most banks will convert dues into a lower-interest monthly plan if you explain hardship honestly.

Never ignore calls. Always request written communication.

Keep records of all calls and emails.

5. Deal with app-based recovery harassment properly.
If recovery agents threaten or harass:

Record the call.

Report it to the National Cyber Crime Portal or RBI Sachet portal.

Many instant loan apps are unregulated or even illegal — you can refuse unlawful demands and lodge a complaint.

» Build a repayment structure

Your take-home pay is Rs. 50,000. Let’s keep your plan practical.

• Basic expenses: Around Rs. 25,000–28,000 per month for living needs.
• Debt repayment: Start with Rs. 15,000–18,000 monthly.
• Emergency & family contribution: Rs. 3,000–5,000 for safety.

With Rs. 15,000–18,000 monthly repayment, you can close Rs. 3 lakh debt within 18–20 months if you secure reduced-interest restructuring.

You can:

Combine smaller loans into one personal loan at lower interest (from your salary bank) to simplify repayment.

Avoid co-signing or using family credit.

Once repaid, never borrow from credit cards or loan apps again — rebuild only with emergency funds.

» Manage your credit cards

If your debt is mainly on credit cards:

Request EMI conversion or balance transfer to a lower-interest card or bank loan.

Stop using the card until the balance is zero.

Ask the bank for temporary interest waiver if financial hardship is documented.

» Psychological and job safety

Debt stress affects sleep, health and job focus. Recovery agents try to shame people into paying faster — ignore emotional blackmail.

Block harassing numbers after noting details.

Tell them to contact you only through official email.

Never let them involve your office or parents. That’s illegal under RBI’s Fair Practices Code.

If harassment becomes severe, file a police complaint under IPC Section 506 (criminal intimidation) or approach a local Legal Services Authority (free legal aid) for guidance.

» Steps to rebuild after clearing debt

Once loans are closed, take written closure letters and update CIBIL.

Keep one credit card with very low limit and pay full amount monthly to rebuild score.

Start a small emergency fund — Rs. 1,000–2,000 monthly until you have at least 3 months of expenses.

Then slowly begin investing in safe mutual funds or recurring deposits — never in credit-like products.

» Finally

You don’t need any paid settlement service. You can recover on your own with patience and structured repayment.
Avoid app loans, avoid quick-fix “lawyer settlements”, and use official channels only.
You have income, youth, and awareness — that’s your biggest advantage. In one to two years, you can be fully debt-free and emotionally free too.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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