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Anu Krishna |1452 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by AY on May 16, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, I am 30 years old girl and for the past three years, I have been in relationship with a guy who is two years younger to me.
He is Marwadi and his parents are not agreeing to our marriage.
I have tried breaking up with the guy several times and tried moving on but he always keeps saying that his parents need some time.
My BF is a genuine guy and he loves me a lot.
My parents on the other hand want me to get married by the end of this year.
I am really confused if I should wait for my BF or listen to my parents and get married by their choice.
I am unable to understand what to do. I am really depressed.
Will it be really late if I get married after 30 or is it okay to wait for my BF?
Please help me out.

Ans:

Dear AY,

And is your boyfriend also really depressed like you are?

Is he also desperate to get married?

Is he afraid of talking to his parents?

Does he also want to get married and settle down?

Is there a future for the two of you?

If the answer to each is a YES, please have that ‘uncomfortable yet firm’ conversation with your boyfriend.

Being in a limbo isn’t great, so please ask him how much time he needs to talk to his parents and when he is going to talk to them and how serious is he in this relationship?

Else, it will be an endless wait and that is what seems to be getting to you, the uncertainty.

So, by getting a clear commitment on the WHEN, will eliminate this stress that is eating you away. Things will get clearer, and you will know what to do!

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1452 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi there, I have many things going in my life right now and I’m confused what to do, first thing I’m in a relationship with a man who’s 7 years older than me and is also not earning much, we are from different religions. Now as I’m 25 my parents are asking me to get married but some how I’m avoiding it, I’m currently living with them and I’m constant with growth in my career so they also want me to look for better opportunities. The thing is my boyfriend is also in the same city and I’m sad about going far away. He’s very supportive and motivates me to look further opportunities. But again my parents want an answer from me about marriage. And I discussed with my boyfriend as well and he understands that too but he doesn’t want to marry me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ravi Mittal | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1452 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Madam i am 31 yrs old female, I love my college mate he is of my age. We both love each other and he is of another faith. His parents are accept whatever he says, but my parents are not accepting. Since 4 years i am trying to convince them but they are not at all even trying to understand inspite they are trying to convince me to marry someone with in our caste. My boyfriend also spoke with my father but he is very stubborn about his decision. My boyfriend is asking me to take a decision to either choose him or my parents, i know he loves me a lot but he also concerns about our age. He said its already latr, if we marry now also we will be starting our life very late. What should i do my parents are very sensitive to the judgememnts of the society. If i choose him, i dont know how they gonna handle. But also i dont want to loose him. He dont want to wait now.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your boyfriend is right; make a decision and you are old enough to run your life the way that you want.
Someone is going to get hurt when you make a decision; you take that call...
You are telling me: I want to marry my boyfriend but my parents won't agree but I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt my parents...
So many BUTs will just confuse matters. Make a decision, stick with it...things will fall in place.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Milind Vadjikar |882 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Question by Amar - Jan 23, 2025Hindi

Money

in 2025 MF investmment is safe as market is not stable if yes please suggest 3-4 fund for lumbsum imvestment of 5 lakh

Ans: Hello;

Remember the standard warning regarding mutual funds:

Mutual fund investments are subject to market risks, read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

Volatility is a feature of equity markets, it may affect you in the short to medium term but may provide inflation beating returns over the long term.

You may do lumpsum investment in a combination of flexicap and multicap funds.

Select any fund/s from the top quartile in respective category.

Happy Investing;
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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi

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Sir iam rayulu 47 years old. Iam invest in mutual fund s axis small cap 5000 ,quant small cap 5000, motilal oswal midcap 5000, nippond india growth fund 5000 and my wife account Nippon small cap 5000 and sbi contra 5000 paragpark flex cap 5000,HDFC flex cap 5000 how to create 1 crore in tem years pls suggest change my portfolio or contune

Ans: Hello;

Your exposure to small cap funds is quite high.

You should have one flexicap fund and one aggressive hybrid (equity) fund for your sip of 20 K.

Your wife may have one flexicap fund and one Large & Midcap type fund for her sip of 20 K.

Further you may start one more monthly sip of 5 K in a multi asset allocation type fund.

This total monthly sip of 45 K may yield you desired sum of 1 Cr. in 10 years. (A modest return of 12% is considered)

You may select any fund from the top quartile in the respective category or consult an MFD for the same.

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi

Career

My son is pursuing Diploma in Computer Science after 10th and is interested in going abroad. He is an average student passionate about football.What are the options

Ans: After Diploma he can't go abroad for studies. First he has to complete the degree course. Football is his hobby. Let him enjoy that. But for abroad studies graduation is must. Regards.Professor........................:)

Janak Patel |12 Answers |Ask -Follow

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Question by Rajan - Jan 20, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 50 yrs old an IT consultant doing own business, i invested in mf via sip 1.nippon smallcap 10k/month 2. Ppfas 7500/month 3.quant active fund 8500/month 4. Pgim lumpsum 60k Please advise for long term benefit like my son btech education fees i am started mf sip past 1.5 years, my son going to join college this year can i withdraw all my money from mf. Due to bearish movement of market last few month my overall percentage lower very much 26% to 19% . Pls advice

Ans: Hi Rajan,

Good to know you planned investment for your son's education. There a few things to keep in mind when planning investment which are market linked.
The time horizon is very important to reap the benefit from the market linked investments. In your case your son is going to join college this year and than means you will need this money for his fees. Along with this the fund selection based on the risk profile.
There have been 2 things that seem to be of concern at this time - 1. Markets are bearish currently and 2. Not enough time to stay invested. Also the funds you have selected are of very high risk category and hence you may see higher impact in the fund value compare to the market.
If you still see a return of 19% as mentioned, I would recommend you to withdraw and for whatever time you have the money before utilizing it, do consider a low risk option of investment like Bank FDs.
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Question by Invest Global Financial - Jan 20, 2025Hindi

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Dear sir , I am writing to express some concerns and seek your advice regarding my son who is currently working in the USA after completing his Master's degree. While I am proud of his achievements, I find myself feeling a bit confused about my role as a father during this phase of his life. As he focuses on his career and plans for the future, I wonder if I should expect some support from him for our family's needs, especially considering the financial burden I have undertaken for his education, which amounts to about 1 crore. Additionally, I have responsibilities towards my 90+ year-old mother and my other son, who is also in need of educational support. My son seems to be making all his life decisions independently, including matters relating to his future marriage, without seeking our input. This leaves me feeling sidelined in his life choices. Can you please share your thoughts on how I should navigate this situation? Your guidance would be invaluable as I try to understand my place and expectations in this new dynamic. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response.

Ans: First let me tell you, I am always with you. In this platform I can't share my phone no or email ID. But I will give you the ultimate solution. As a father you have done your full duty and I understand your situation. 90+ mother is there and along with her another son's complete responsibility is there. Regarding marriage and other things let him take his own decision, no issue. But during the critical hours he has to support you per month and the minimum amount what he should send is 1200 US Dollar ( nearly one lakh rupees). Straight away put this condition. This discaring attitude generates out of pampering and for 99% sons their typical Indian mothers are responsible. Put your condition with a tough tone. Be good for good and bad for bad. Now behave like a manager, not like a father. I don't know his branch. If he is in IT then he must be earning 9000-10000 US Dollar per month. So let him send 1200 USD per month. If he doesn't listen to you then for time being keep distance with him. You are the father, so you must have the personality so that he listens to you. Use this advice and follow me and in future please contact me whenever you face some difficulties. Regards. Professor.

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi

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Sir, my son is in 7th semester in B.tech ECE from DTU. He wants to go for MS from abroad. Which country is best?

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi

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I my daughter is doing 3 yr under graduate ineconomics .what is the next area she can do in India or abroad for higher studies.

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Dentist - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi

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My smile has changed over the years. I’m 34 now, and when I look at old photos, my teeth used to be straight, white, and perfect. But in the last few years, I’ve noticed my upper teeth seem to be shifting. There are small gaps between my front teeth. Is it too late for braces or clear aligners? Please help.

Ans: Hello
Teeth shifting and causing gaps to appear at your age (where there were no gaps earlier) strongly suggests weakness of gums.
Kindly consult a dentist to have your gum condition assessed and treated. Proper gum treatment can stop teeth shifting further and the gaps getting bigger. But cannot reverse the shifting that has already occurred.
Once the gums have been stabilised you may need to undergo corrective orthodontic treatment.
Tooth aligners, also known as clear aligners, can be used by people to have their teeth straightened or to have gaps between teeth closed. Thanks to advancements in dental treatment there is no strict upper age limit for using tooth aligners. Many adults in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, have successfully used aligners to straighten their teeth.

However, before using tooth aligners, it's essential to consult with an orthodontist or a dentist to determine if aligners are suitable for your specific needs and age. And please use aligners only under an orthodontist's supervision.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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