To answer your questions - 1. My wife is giving various excuses saying kitchen is in 1st floor and not on 2nd floor. I kept cooking maid though who used to carry all lunch from 1st floor to second floor. On dinner I used to carry food for her. Now her demand is to keep all time Aya or maid the cost I couldn't simply bear. Every time she used to give various excuses to go to her father's house Both my sister and my uncle talked to her father and family, but seems her mother has a full support on this and her father is mum and they don't listen to my problem at all. I used to serve tea, breakfast to my wife before going to office since she can't come downstairs on first floor. My sister and her husband tried to communicate my wife's parent, but she refused to listen to them I don't think couples therapy will work because my wife will not ready to hear any solution. Only thing I guess is to summon her and her family to court and ask her whether she is willing to stay with me or with father.

Hi Anu, I want to be anonymous on this.I'm 34years old and married 4.5months ago. It was an arranged marriage, we are from different caste. I'm a partial handicap person; I have issues with my leg. I am having issues with my wife's behaviour and I am looking for some consultation. During the initial conversations before marriage, she agreed on everything -- cooking, keeping me at bay on all works. I even informed, I don't like people who get angry and instead I like to discuss the issue and get it sorted out.But after marriage everything changed. From Day 1, she got angry on very little things like not giving hug/not drinking milk, using the phone while eating, laughing with colleagues while working or even if I cooked without informing. Getting angry is fine but she locks herself in a room for 5-10 hours and won't even respond to me. That irritates me the most. If by chance the door is open and when I enter, she won't see me and just go away like I'm some sort of stranger. I explained a lot but conveying this is wrong and it hurts me a lot, but still she does the same. I cried like a baby when I held her for not allowing her to leave the room.This has become a habit. In 4.5 months this happened for 2-3 months. My parents came home recently. Even during that time when we went out she got angry on a few things. I am not sure what it was about. When I am with family, I should respond to their needs but can't stay with her completely right? Why she can't understand it?I have to plead with her 1-2 hours to talk to me on the issue and then she tells me 'I did this/that and due to this, she got angry like the one I gave example above.She doesn't wake up till 8:30 or 9am. She won't cook or help me with household activities. And even when my mom came to teach her cooking, she didn't go. But in general, she says I want to learn cooking and especially learn what my husband likes.How much I can do? I'm getting frustrated with this behaviour and even informed her 'You're making me afraid to talk to you thinking what might get you angry.' Still no use. Please help me.

Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.

I am married person since 2015. From last 2 to 3 years it is not working properly. Due to some following problems, 1. I am only one boy in my family. I don’t have any brother or sister. My father is also passed away, so there is need of child in my family because now I am at the age of 30. But my wife is not physically strong. There is always some health issue with her. 2. There is education gap too in between us. She is metric level education and I am engineer. Due to this we don’t have that much effective communication leads to conflicts in every situation. She never give respect to my mother and never do regular house works to and at the end of the day again conflicts arises between my mother and my wife. 3. I want to give divorce to her but unfortunately she is purposely not ready for that because she knows very well that she will never been happy in another house like my house. 4. Same problem when I discussed with her mother and father, they straight forward refuse to give divorce; they said, “if you have any problems or want to give divorce then go to those person who are responsible for marriage or who finalize your marriage”. Lastly, I am now at dead end and don’t know the solution of how to escape from this situation.

Hi Anu, I am married for 3 years and having 1 year baby boy. My marriage was fixed at matrimony site. After registration my wife used to tell me that she will spent most of her time at her home with her father and mother which is only 5 km within my home. After marriage she used to stay at her father's house almost 9 months in a year and only 2-3 months intermittent break she used to visit my house. She used to made me buy expensive washing machine and other house hold items inspite of having one already there, keep Cooking maid etc. When most of the time she is not staying with me I feel these are all my money wastage. Now she is forcing me to keep all time maid. My salary is only 50k , how can I manage all these expenses and her demand and even after meeting all these she is not staying with me and used to spent all the time at her father's flat. When I say to stay with me she used to give lot of excuses, She and both her parents had visited multiple times in my house before marriage and well aware that my kitchen setup is at first floor and not on second floor and other house hold arrangement. She used to take my baby boy with her for long period of time like 5-6 months and then come for 2-3 weeks and then again went away. We feel we are going distant apart and thinking to drag her and family in Magistrate court to seek right to conjugal life and her directly in court whether she would like to stay with me in my house or at father's place. Needless to say I used to bear all her expenses even she is staying at her father's house and I am staying alone and leading batchelor life. Please suggest.