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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
V Question by V on Nov 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Sir, I am a 61 year old bachelor who has been in a relationship with a 42 year old spinster for the last 6 years. We have also had physical relationship many times I wish to marry her. I am well to do. I can very easily maintain her. Of late she has been saying she wants to break the relationship. But I am emotionally connected with her. What should I do?

Ans: Dear V,
What can you do when she doesn't want to in a relationship with you anymore? Of course, it is good to have a heart-to-heart chat and figure out what is going on in her mind...what led her to want to break off from the relationship?
There are a few and more unanswered questions which can only come through that chat. So, do initiate it!
Also, you may want to ask her if she wants to have some 'space' from the relationship for a while...it's wise to respect what comes through your chat and not let it mess with your mind space.
Easier said than done...but when you place your happiness on something happening or not happening, you will invariably start to feel like a victim when things don't go your way.
So, before you broach the topic with her, be mentally prepared for whatever the outcome; that's the only way you will be able to think with a clear mind.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 07, 2023

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Relationship
I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear P,
This is a confused and confusing situation that you are in. Kindly do not confuse yourself any further. She might never be able to step out of her marriage and be with you. So, are you some kind of a 'spare' person? Are you willing to play a secondary role in someone's life when you have the chance to be the primary person in a well-defined relationship?
Being friends and supporting one another is one thing; but being in a relationship that has no structure invariably causes misunderstandings, anger, disappointments and more confusion.
When she is clear that she will stick by her marriage, let this be...why wouldn't you simply be a friend who also wants to create his own life.
It's nice to live in a fantasy world and assume that this kind of an engagement will work; it's far from the truth...You are worried about destroying her disturbed life; do look into what you are doing to your life as well. Chasing behind someone who is married and intends to be in it is like chasing a ghost that will never be seen or heard but will certainly cause anguish in some form to you.
Be wise, at 42, you still can build your life that is not dependent on someone else's emotions and boundaries. You deserve a good life; so create it.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 60 year old bachelor and leading a carefree life. 3 years back I met a 46 year old spinster from my office where I work and immediately fell in love with her. So much so that I have made my mail id password on her name. At her age she is a drop dead beauty. We get along like a house on fire. We have also gone to many places of tourist interest. We also have been physical quite a few times. Recently, I came to know that she is in a relationship with someone for the past 14 years. This someone happens to be a childhood friend aged 59 years and is married with 2 very grown up children. I have expressed my love to her and have asked her hand in marriage. She has been apprehensive and does not respond. Her father and siblings like my presence. What should I do? Please advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You want a relationship and she obviously doesn't! Or at least it does not seem that she is in love with you like you are with her.
She possibly is not interested in tying herself down into a commitment which is a personal choice of hers. Of course, you can have an honest conversation with her about it and express your intentions on a future with her clearly. Set a time period by which she thinks and gets back to you on her decision otherwise you will be left waiting. After consideration if she still feels strongly about not moving on your proposal, you have two choices!
Either you accept that she will be in a connection with the other person and you OR you can choose to move on as accepting that situation may not be easy.
So, essentially what you are doing is expressing and allowing her the time needed for consideration. You will also feel better knowing that you have made an honest attempt.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
She is married and not happy and loves you BUT will not recognize your relationship in public!
You are unmarried and want to wait for someone who won't give you the presence that you deserve!
Do the right thing...allow her to be committed to her marriage rather than be her emotional crutch...in the long run, you will be left high and dry after investing a lot of emotions into her...
Shift focus onto your life and building it the way that you want. When you put your life and emotions into someone else's hands, you end up becoming a puppet swaying about with no stability whatsoever. Put more energies into yourself instead...

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 42 male , met a woman 33 for a marriage discussion through parents arranged marriage set up. We started talking and after talking though there were some aspects we admired about each other and found that both of were totally complementary to each other - strengths of one was the weakness of the other. But we both have different life perspectives as well. However, she seems to have been hurt deeply from the previous marriage and has animosity and anger towards certain people type and towards certain situations. She goes into extreme uncontrolled anger when those topics are discussed, her trust on people seem to be too low. after 1 month she said this relationship cannot be taken to marriage citing my past medical history as a high risk factor. I said fine and was happy to move on.. she says though it is a NO, she has invested emotionally and needs time to move on , so until then I should continue to talk to her as a friend. So i continued talking ( over phone only) ..after few months when I got scolded during her regular outbursts.. i decided to stop and move on.. but she pleaded and told me that i should help her by being her friend and motivate her until she finds back a job, which she has resigned 6 months back to heal from depression. I am in dilemma if i should continue to support her or it is best to move on with no contact though it may be painful to her.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's amazing that you are supporting her through the breakup, but aren't we forgetting that you broke up too? I'm sure it must have been hard on you too. It is not your job to help her move on from a relationship that she chose to break. It's unfortunate that people have hurt her in the past, but again, the onus is not on you to fix it. You tried fixing something you did not break and that's awesome but don't break yourself in the process. If there were unresolved issues, the best course of action would have been to work on them first and get into a relationship later.

You have done as much as you can, but if it is too much for you, or you simply don't want to continue talking her through the breakup, you can stop right away. You don't owe your ex-partner your unconditional support. Please understand that.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |1737 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir the kcet verification slip has been released now. But I have received my re evaluated cbse board marks now and there is an increment of 10 marks in PCM. Can I update my marks now and get a new rank somehow? And what is the procedure for that?
Ans: Yes, you can update your KCET application with your new CBSE marks after re-evaluation. However, whether it impacts your rank depends on the Karnataka Examination Authority (KEA) rules and when your revised marks are released—especially in relation to the KCET counseling schedule.

Here's what you should do:
1. Check the KEA Website
Go to cetonline.karnataka.gov.in.

Look for any announcements or FAQs about:

Updating marks after re-evaluation.

Impact on KCET 2025 ranks and verification slip changes.

Check if they mention a process for submitting updated marks from other boards like CBSE.

2. Understand the Timeline
KCET Counseling Start Date:
If your updated CBSE marks come before KCET counseling begins, you’ll likely be allowed to update them.

CBSE Re-evaluation Timeline:
Re-evaluation takes time. Check CBSE’s website for expected timelines so you know when to expect your updated marks.

3. If Re-evaluation Results Come Before Counseling
Collect Documents:

Original CBSE mark sheet.

Revised mark sheet (after re-evaluation).

A copy of the re-evaluation confirmation (if available).

Contact KEA:

Use their official helpline or email (from their website).

Ask specifically how to update your marks in their system.

Follow KEA Instructions:

If allowed, KEA will give you exact steps—possibly uploading documents online or via a specific portal.

Rank Might Change:

If your updated marks are submitted in time, KEA may recalculate your rank using the new scores.

4. If Re-evaluation Results Come After Counseling
Spot Admissions or Special Rounds:

If regular counseling is over, you may not be able to change your application immediately.

However, you might be eligible for spot admissions or extra counseling rounds (if seats are still available).

Stay in Touch with KEA:

Contact them and ask whether your revised marks can still be considered in any remaining rounds.

5. General Tips
Don’t Assume Anything:
Always rely on official updates from KEA and CBSE. Don’t act on rumors or hearsay.

Keep All Records:
Save copies of your application, payment receipts, emails, and any mark sheets (old and revised).

Ask for Help if Needed:
If confused, talk to an education counselor or someone experienced with KCET admissions.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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