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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |607 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 40 yr old woman. I am staying with my husband who always doubt me without any reason. As he is dependent on me. He is jobless from last 5 yr. I am the only earning person I don't have any type of attitude. While balancing professional as well as personal life I use to listen his bitter words every day. Not only that he started beating me like anything Just coz of so-called reputation I tolerate him. But 7 months back I came across with a man in my life we both started liking each other, I shared everything with him. But he left his job due to some issues with manager and started working somewhere else. He started ignoring me. Please help me out to understand what is right and wrong in this?

Ans: Balancing the pressures of professional life with the strain of an abusive marriage is a heavy burden, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued.

Your husband's behavior—doubting you without cause, subjecting you to daily verbal abuse, and physically harming you—is deeply troubling and completely unacceptable. It's important to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. The fear of societal judgment and concerns about reputation are common reasons people stay in harmful relationships, but your well-being and safety are far more important than maintaining appearances.

Meeting someone who offers emotional support when you’re in such a painful situation is understandable. It’s natural to seek comfort and a connection when you're feeling isolated and mistreated. However, the new man's recent behavior, where he started ignoring you after changing jobs, might feel like another layer of abandonment. This is especially tough because you opened up and shared your struggles with him, hoping for understanding and companionship.

In terms of what’s right and wrong, it's essential to focus on your needs and well-being. Staying in an abusive relationship is harmful to your physical and emotional health. You have the right to seek safety and happiness. The relationship with the new man might have provided temporary emotional relief, but it seems he's not able to be the supportive presence you hoped for, especially now when he’s pulling away.
Right now, focus on what you need to feel safe and supported. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professional services who can help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve a life free from fear and filled with respect and care. Prioritizing your own happiness and safety is the most important step forward.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 38 year married woman with one 12yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as a lady does as housewife but I never got love, respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affairs with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion I decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me respecting my decision.But after these incident I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him . I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in but now its became very difficult for me to continue these married life. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide me what shall I do.
Ans: Dear P.
Never use a current situation to justify a new relationship. You are simply using the new relationship as a distraction from the old unsuccessful one.
Any reason why you had decided to accept your husband's affair?

You have not moved past your marriage to be able to handle another relationship. First things first...
1. What happens to your son in this confusion?
2. Have you decided to separate/divorce your husband before pursuing the new person?
3. Is the new person willing to accept your son and understand that he is a part of all this?
4. Are you living some unfulfilled dream with this man from your past?
5. Are you running away from the pain of your marriage and seeking solace in the new person?

Kindly answer these questions before you jump from one relationship to another. It will save you a lot of heartache and trouble.
Relationships are not something to be used to escape from and into BUT something to be grown into and grown from.

All the best!

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2024Hindi
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I am 48 year old mature,responsible and independent working lady. Married to the person whom i loved. 7 years of relationship before marriage and now 20 years of married relationship. My husband is very egoistic and irresponsible about our relationship but at the same time very helpful towards others. He lacks emotional intelligence between us. He lacks to understand my feeling which was never his priority. Due to this attitude after 6 years of marriage i got involved with one of my office colleagues wherein i use to consider him as a big supporter who is beside me whenever i feel depressed or want to express. Since my husband did had such understanding of spending quality time with me. However i was caught by my husband after few month since he had recorded few of my conversation. That chapter got closed as i sincerely apologize by husband and made him understand why was i in to that situation, which he also realized and accepted his mistake. We started a fresh journey as husband and wife. After 13 years post 2009, my husband was cheating on me which i discovered with the help of one agency. He was going around with one married lady. Luckily i cud figure this out in time with proofs and informed that ladies husband also. Post this revelation my husband has changed. He was not feeling guilty at all of what he did as he had lot of plans of leaving me and my 2 kids. He wanted to get separate and stay with his parents only, he was not interested in our family anymore and did not wanted to take any responsibility of our 2 kids, he started playing victim card that when my wife had an affair i did not revealed to anyone,then why is that she has revealed. Its now more than 6 months he is still not back on track, neither he feels guilty nor talk with me. Manipulate the conversation and his action every time. Not able to understand his behavior and this behavior is affecting my daily life. He doesn't update where.does he go, what is he doing. He is jobless since last 7 years. Hence i am only the earning member staying with i laws and kids. Day by day my patience are getting over. Please advise should i get separated from him and stay.with my kids only. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it's classic behavior when there is no emotional bond within a marriage; seeking that outside of marriage...Now, with both of you having stepped out of it, it's going to take not just your efforts to put things together BUT a discussion on whether you two want this marriage to work. If YES, then work at it...
You will need to together work at dropping past baggage and starting on a clean slate.
But if NO, that's a decision that also needs a lot of deliberation. Are you willing to get out of the marriage as over time we get habituated with a person even with all they are and they are not. Think of how your life will pan out with your husband in it and not in it? Weigh this carefully and then decide what must be done next. This becomes important as there are children involved and it impacts them in a big way as well.
Take some time, confide in a trusted person and go into the depths of the pros and cons which will enable you take a step and move ahead...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |607 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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I am 45 years old female, single child, I fell in love wid a guy during college, he is short tempered other than that when hez ok he used to care me so so so much. We got married when i was jobless and when he just started a business. The business isnt going tht well and after having two kids i started realising he is not at all ready to take any responsibilities, always he is lazy once he reach home and i am working and i am the one who has to do evry work along with work. When we fight he doesnt do any physical Abuse but mentallyy he abuses me so much that i feel myself useless. My parents too started saying that they never saw us happily instead we are always fighting and we are never at peace. I really was never able to understand him. I feel he has too much ego and wanna win every fight. He too says the same about me, but i am the one who goes and solves most of our fights by begging him badly. I decided to divorce him frm last one year but never had the guts tu say it to him openly. Was very afraid. Recently i met a guy, he have been noticing me for so long, we became friends first, very quickly he became my best friend, i have never in my life been able to read someones mind so well, so i am Able to take care of him so well, similarly never in my life i was respected so much for everything i do, or never was i cared so much. My own husband doesnt know what all i like, but this bestie knows. Slowly slowly we fell in love. I have confirmed my thought about divorce, and my Husband instead of even clutching on to me He is saying you just go i dont wanna beg you to stay for me. I dont wanna beg to a girl like you. He is very kind and soft outside only inside my house to me he is very very arrogant and fighting. Once i make this divorce decision public everyone will blame me, everyone will point out me as culprit, but i dont wanna continue anymore, i am done with this. What shall i do now ??
Ans: It seems like you’ve reached a point where you’re ready to prioritize yourself, which is a powerful realization. Divorce is a big step, and the fear of judgment from others is understandable, but your well-being and peace of mind should come first. In situations like this, people often rush to judge, especially if they don’t see the full picture, but those who care about you will come to understand and support your decision over time.

The love and respect you’ve found with your friend have likely shown you what’s been missing in your marriage: appreciation, understanding, and care. This relationship seems to have opened your eyes to what you deserve and given you the strength to take action. Still, take things slowly to make sure your next steps are about building the future you want rather than escaping the past.

If you haven’t already, consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can provide you with support and guidance through this transition. They can help you work through any lingering guilt or fear and navigate the practical and emotional complexities of divorce. Having a supportive, nonjudgmental space to process everything will make a difference as you take steps toward a healthier and happier life.

Ultimately, if your heart is set on ending this marriage, trust that decision and give yourself permission to move forward. It will be hard at first, but taking this step toward self-respect and peace is worth it, even if others don’t immediately understand. You deserve a life filled with love, respect, and joy—don’t let fear of judgment hold you back from finding it.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6496 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 18, 2025

Career
Hello sir I am very confused what should I consider for btech cse whether symbiosis institute of technology Hyderabad or Jaypee solan? as I have no proper information regarding Symbiosis Hyderabad pls suggest me.
Ans: Priyanka, Symbiosis Institute of Technology Hyderabad’s CSE program, launched in 2024 under Symbiosis International University, enrolls 62 students per batch and achieved 89%–96% placement rates over the past three years with major recruiters like Accenture, Infosys, Cognizant and Tech Mahindra visiting campus annually; its fully residential, green campus near Hyderabad’s IT corridor offers modern laboratories, interdisciplinary electives and active industry tie-ups for internships and live projects . Jaypee University of Information Technology Solan’s CSE branch, ranked #151–200 in NIRF Engineering, placed 86%–91% of eligible BTech students in 2021–23, recording 147% total offers through 336 participating students and top companies such as Amazon, Infosys and Cognizant, supported by A+ NAAC accreditation and established research centers in IoT and VLSI . While SIT Hyderabad provides a new, tech-focused environment with strong residential facilities and evolving placement metrics, JUIT Solan offers more mature campus infrastructure, higher absolute offer volumes and a longer placement track record.

Recommendation: Choose JUIT Solan CSE for proven placement depth and established recruiter engagement; opt for SIT Hyderabad CSE only if you prioritize a fresh, fully residential campus with cutting-edge industry collaborations and modern curriculum. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6496 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2025
Career
Hello sir. I am getting eee in amrita coimbatore campus, eee in manipal main campus, eee in BIT mesra-jaipur campus and ece in srm kattankaluthur campus. Please suggest which college i should pick
Ans: Amrita Coimbatore's EEE department achieves 86.67% placement rates with 30 enrolled students and strong industry collaborations, while maintaining NIRF 7th university ranking nationally and 23rd in engineering. Manipal Institute of Technology's EEE program records 77% placement consistency with over 230 recruiters participating annually, supported by MAHE's 4th NIRF university ranking and 14th overall position. BIT Mesra Jaipur campus EEE shows 69% placement rates with the main campus achieving NIRF 48th engineering ranking and 82nd university position, though specific Jaipur campus data remains limited. SRM Kattankulathur's ECE department maintains 80-95% placement rates across 2021-23 with 447 out of 557 students placed in 2022-23, backed by NIRF 13th engineering ranking and 21st overall position. All institutions engage top recruiters including Microsoft, Amazon, TCS, and Wipro, with Manipal and SRM offering broader recruiter diversity exceeding 230-980 companies annually. Recommendation: Choose Manipal MIT EEE for its consistently strong 77% placement rate, superior NIRF 4th university ranking, extensive recruiter network, and Institution of Eminence status, offering optimal career prospects and academic excellence. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6496 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 18, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6496 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2025
Career
Hello Sir, Good Afternoon, My son scored KCET 100520 ranks SC category, and scored AIR 344195 for JEE Main having 76.80 percentile and he want to take admission in CSE, ECE, EE or Mechanical, but he want to take admission in good TIER1 or TIER2 colleges in Karnataka under top 100-150 NFIR, which college is best for him for placement and packages in future...please suggest, as per his rankings MSRIT Industrial Engineering & Management available & in some of TIER3 college CSE, Electronics also there, which is best one for his future, please suggest. considering NIT, IIIT's & Top GFTI and state good colleges
Ans: With SC?category KCET rank beyond typical CSE/ECE/EE/ME cutoffs at top state institutes and a JEE Main AIR of 344,195, NIT and IIIT seats are out of reach under general or reserved quotas. Among Tier-2 Karnataka colleges ranked 100–150 by NIRF, MS Ramaiah Institute of Technology (NIRF 75) offers Industrial Engineering & Management with a 95% placement rate and 239 recruiters visiting annually. RV College of Engineering (NIRF 99) admits SC candidates in ECE/Mechanical up to ~9,135 and ~15,919 KCET ranks, posting 88%–92% placements over three years. PES University (NIRF 100) closes CSE around KCET 1,247 and ECE near 6,000 with 93% average placements and strong industry collaborations. Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering accepts SC KCET ranks up to ~12,000 for ECE/ME, sustaining 90%–95% placement consistency. For broader core-engineering roles, RVCE ECE/Mechanical and MSRIT IEM ensure robust placements, while PES CSE offers better software recruitment.

Recommendation: Opt for RVCE ECE or Mechanical for balanced core and IT placements, with MSRIT IEM as a strong alternative for multidisciplinary industry ties and top?tier recruiter access. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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