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Anu Krishna  |1186 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 39yr old. Married for 13years. My wife is brilliant and beautiful. Loves me madly. But the problem is, I still can't forget my first love happened during my college days way before 18yrs. I like my wife but to be honest, I don't love her. I always feel, she deserves a better person than me. Feel guilty not loving her. But how hard I try, I don't get that emotional bonding and passion. Kindly guide me, what should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What's the point pining for someone who isn't in your life and then missing out on the love from who is in your life?
Start at being great friends and share the love and affection that two friends do between one another...guilt is a feeling that keeps you occupied without doing nothing but stressing you out. Rather than feel guilty and bad over what's happening, why not think of what can happen different for you to feel affection for your wife?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1186 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
hi, I got married 15 years back, though when i saw my wife for the first time i didnt like her, because she was only 5 ft tall, as said destiny plays its roll and i got married to her and since then 15 years later still i dont like her at all, we have two kids, and i m only staying because of kids, what should i do ? i m really suffering as her nature too doesnt match with mine, every day i regret marrying her, pls advise
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What do you mean you don't like her at all?
What prevented you from saying this to her before marriage? She would had the pleasure of rejecting you.
How will your nature match?
You have never allowed yourself to see her beyond her height and dislike her for it. It's sad to know that even after 15 years of marriage and two children, your emotional maturity is stuck on height and nature.

Maybe it's time to ask yourself: What is it that my wife possibly dislikes in me? Or better still, ask her...and don't be shocked if she has a list...

Grow up and shoulder your responsibilities or sit down with your wife and actually ask her why she is in this marriage with you. Maybe her genuine love and care for you might change your mind to feel differently about her. i sincerely hope you two find a way of working this out. But for that, you need to step out of seeing the 'bad' in her and see the 'good' in her. She did make your house a home and given birth to two children. Some appreciation here will change your perspective to think differently about her and your marriage.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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Hi i am 34 old guy well settled i married a girl who cheated me and left me after a month only .After talking a year i got married but she left me in a sec ,feels very cheated .Now talks are getting on to get settlement done .She is just after money money property even after knowing this i still love her a lot .I cry alot for her may be she is practical and cheater and i am not . Marriage for me was something which is to be done once in a life will get over after over dead only but really not able to over come i think 24/7 about her only . Despite knowing everything my minds think about her .I have done alot of things to be busy but I can't concentrate on my life
Ans: It's understandable that you are feeling hurt and betrayed after being left by someone you loved and trusted. It's important to remember that healing from this kind of emotional pain takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space and time you need to work through your emotions.

One thing you could do is to focus on your own well-being and self-care. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment, such as hobbies or exercise. You could also consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

It's also important to consider the practical aspects of the situation, such as the settlement. It can be helpful to work with a legal professional who can help you navigate the process and ensure that your rights and interests are protected.

When it comes to your feelings for your ex-partner, it's important to recognize that these feelings may take time to fade. However, it's also important to remember that your well-being and happiness should always come first. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship did not work out and to focus on the future possibilities for happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what steps you need to take to move forward and heal from this experience. Remember to be gentle with yourself, take things one step at a time, and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1186 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Madam. I am married from last one and half years now, there has been numerous fights in between small and big ones both. In between this time I have become a mother, and, my baby is 7 months old now. My husband does nothing, did nothing in past one and half years. He is only occupied with his work all the time, he goes to office everyday mostly. Right now my baby is 7 months old and from last 7 months me and my parents are taking care of the baby. And, he absolutely shows no understanding when it comes to looking after the baby. Am also a working person. Moreover I pay all the bills when it comes to getting household stuff, paying rent, all the expenses related to baby. He is so shameless that he just doesn’t care too, when I pick these topics or raise concerns about handling the baby he gets abusive. I am not sure what to do now! How insensible can a person get if no one sees my husband would never feel that person like him exist in this world. I feel like filing a divorce petition now. He was the one who wanted to have baby so soon. I was never ready. Now when I have the baby I am the only person along with my parents and sister looking after the baby.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband wants a family without responsibilities and that's why neither is he interested in the baby nor in paying the bills...This is not just insensitivity but lack of emotional immaturity and the unwillingness to take on responsibilities head on...Approach a senior male member within the family who is someone that has been a role model to others in terms executing family responsibilities and is also caring and affectionate. This person can appeal to your husband and talk some sense into him.

If there's no one that fits the bill, the only option is to go to a professional for Couples Therapy. There's a reason why your husband avoids his duties as a husband and father and that needs to be uncovered and sorted out. It will also help the two of bond and connect better. Make this attempt before jumping into divorce; separating is a whole different world that comes with its own set of challenges and with the baby now in the picture, work at the marriage and putting things together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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