I am 39yr old. Married for 13years. My wife is brilliant and beautiful. Loves me madly. But the problem is, I still can't forget my first love happened during my college days way before 18yrs. I like my wife but to be honest, I don't love her. I always feel, she deserves a better person than me. Feel guilty not loving her. But how hard I try, I don't get that emotional bonding and passion. Kindly guide me, what should I do

Ans: Visit a marriage therapist; you need couples’ counselling for sure. The marriage may have been a mistake, but now you have a child and you owe it to your son to at least try and make things work. Ultimately if there is a complete breakdown then you’re left with no choice, but try to salvage things first. And for that you’ll have to put aside all notions about your ex. At least for the present.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What do you mean you don't like her at all?
What prevented you from saying this to her before marriage? She would had the pleasure of rejecting you.
How will your nature match?
You have never allowed yourself to see her beyond her height and dislike her for it. It's sad to know that even after 15 years of marriage and two children, your emotional maturity is stuck on height and nature.

Maybe it's time to ask yourself: What is it that my wife possibly dislikes in me? Or better still, ask her...and don't be shocked if she has a list...

Grow up and shoulder your responsibilities or sit down with your wife and actually ask her why she is in this marriage with you. Maybe her genuine love and care for you might change your mind to feel differently about her. i sincerely hope you two find a way of working this out. But for that, you need to step out of seeing the 'bad' in her and see the 'good' in her. She did make your house a home and given birth to two children. Some appreciation here will change your perspective to think differently about her and your marriage.

Best wishes!

Ans: It's understandable that you are feeling hurt and betrayed after being left by someone you loved and trusted. It's important to remember that healing from this kind of emotional pain takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space and time you need to work through your emotions.

One thing you could do is to focus on your own well-being and self-care. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment, such as hobbies or exercise. You could also consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

It's also important to consider the practical aspects of the situation, such as the settlement. It can be helpful to work with a legal professional who can help you navigate the process and ensure that your rights and interests are protected.

When it comes to your feelings for your ex-partner, it's important to recognize that these feelings may take time to fade. However, it's also important to remember that your well-being and happiness should always come first. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship did not work out and to focus on the future possibilities for happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what steps you need to take to move forward and heal from this experience. Remember to be gentle with yourself, take things one step at a time, and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.