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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 39 years old and so is my wife. We have 09 year old daughter and 01 year old son. We both have undergone mental trauma due to family negativity and did'nt get my share of property from my father, not even a penny. And due to this stress, my daughter got skin irritation since birth and my wife got fungal infection near thighs from last few years. We are truly upset, still living in rented accommodation. And due to these circumstances, there is lot of shouting and pain at home. I am in need of PEACE but no respite. Hence, sex become obsolete in my life, my wife never interested in this, we have done only few times in last 05 years, rarely. Please advice, how can there be Peace at home and live a happy life emotionally and physically?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When life feels like an unfair treatment, the only way to come out of all this is to ACCEPT things for the way they are. I suggest this only because fighting for your rights and property may just become a nice preoccupation for you. Are you interested in hiring a lawyer to fight the case, then do it...
You daughter becoming ill is something that you and wife need to take responsibility for; whatever you are going through, why are your children bearing the brunt? Why are you letting all this reach them for no fault of theirs?
And that is why this preoccupation of yours about money, property has now begun to affect the children; stop before it gets worse...You want PEACE, then free yourself from this money obsession.
Know that the only property that makes your rich is good health and the love of your wife and children. Simply accept this and move on else you will spend most of your time chasing after things that may never find its way to you...Be wise about all this!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

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Relationship
Hello Anu, I am 48, male. I married in 2007 and we were blessed with a daughter in 2015. Ever since we were pregnant, I left my regular job and started working from home instead. Things went off smooth and professionally there is not much of a problem. Agreed, 2020 has been quite a bad year for almost everyone and I am no exception. But then, things are somewhat better with me when I see people around and learn about their getting unemployed or otherwise. My problem is related to family, relationship with my wife and this has started playing on me. The last time we indulged in any sexual activity was probably before my wife became pregnant. And even before that, she was always uninterested in having anything physical between us. At max, we would have sex just once a month. But after her birth, we have never had sex, no time together. The most we talk about in a day is the stock of this is finishing up or you need to get this or that kind of things. She works in an office, so she has friends, people whom she can talk to and spend time. I stay home caring for my daughter. Though most of the day is spent with caring for her, there is something that is dying inside me. I had tried asking her to make a visit to the consultant locally, but she has always denied. And she keeps telling me that all I need is sex from her, which of course has never been true. I wished there was some medical solution for my problems but I know there is nothing wrong. It is just some psychological issue. At times I just want to leave up everything and quit, but then I prefer not to do it thinking about the daughter. I now feel that I do need some friends, but at my age, finding them is also tough. I do not feel comfortable talking about these issues to even my friends because - 1. I do not feel that close with any and 2. I wonder, if any of those confronted up my wife with this - that would be asking for a chaos as well. I could go on into more details but am unsure if you would have that enough time. Please suggest if you can.
Ans: Dear PK, firstly, Parenting is a lot of work and to be a full-time parent from home, like you are right now, requires a lot of time and energy. Also, let’s not deny and most mothers/parents/others who are full time caregivers of a child will whisper and not say it aloud that doing that 24*7 without a break can be stressful and even monotonous at times.

They are encouraged to take a break every once in a while, to rejuvenate so they can do more and feel less exhausted.

It is pretty normal for women to lose interest in sex for a few weeks or perhaps months after the baby is born as the hormones now secreted elude her away from simply being a wife and the loving mother takes over.

This can cause a lot of rift between the new parents as the man obviously is not aware of this fact.

A book can throw more light on this and I cannot be more emphatic and say this here that it helps when the woman doesn’t have to worry about her husband and focus on bonding with the child which is of utmost importance for the development and growth of the baby.

Besides, there are other forms of affection/intimacy that can be explored so the new parents still manage to keep the spark alive.

The fact of your wife having a parallel life at her work place has become a dampener in your mind as she is definitely able to have a social life at least part of the day whereas you are not.

I do suggest you cook up some ‘Me Time’ over the weekends when your wife can bond with the baby and you can meet friends and simply unwind so that you back with a renewed vigour as the week begins.

And, it is possible to make friends at any age. Anyone who shares common interests and hobbies, can become a part of your inner circle.

It is apparent that both of you have lost communication and either your wife is unaware about how you feel or maybe she is going through something that you don’t know of.

If she isn’t comfortable going to a professional, take charge and revive your communication. Babies can demand a lot of time from their parents and if you can have someone trustworthy to watch the baby for a couple of hours over the weekend, where you and your wife can have some time to yourselves, that might help.

We can go on struggling or we can step up and do something about it. So, give it your best for yourself and your family.

Happy Bonding and have a great life!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am experiencing sexless marriage since last 12 years due some catastrophic mentality of the spouse. Tried to have sex outside but I don't like it as its lacking of emotions and safety. I cant afford that financially too. I am now 48 and really got frustrated affecting my abilities, manifestations of which show in my professional life too. Cant leave her, cant blame her, cant curse her because we both love each other too much. She herself tell me to go outside for sex. Cant take her to psychiatrist or counselor too as she resist for this. She used to be in depression too but show herself normal. She is working and stress factor too is there. Due to her attitude, misunderstanding or thinking, she is also not happy herself. I have consulted doctor for myself and for her too but is not fruitful as she don't attend the clinic. I feel I need a partner for my psychological siphoning, but no way. I feel I am cursed for no intimate relationship. As of now I do get engaged in my work and try to get happiness sexually by masturbation but not happy at all. I am thinking of castration too to get the urge of sex be killed. In my family we dont have sound conversations too due to anger, loudness, etc. I always have to be calm as I can. I feel all feuds will vanish one day but its taking too much time. What to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do empathize with you; but what problem are you trying to solve?
Putting your marriage back together and connect better with your wife OR whining about your sex life and wondering how to satisfy yourself?
If it's the former, then focus on how and what can be done to revive her faith in herself...if counselors aren't working, you might have to take on the mantle of getting the relationship back on track but also letting her know that she needs to do the same. She also must be made aware that the effort must be from her side as well. It's an uphill task but I would emphasize that focus on getting your marriage back on track. It will channel your energies better without leading to frustrations.
Who knows....when things improve, she and you might actually be able to revive your sex life as well.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 51 year old male having one son 21 years. Myself and my wife love each other very much however there is no intimacy between us for nearly 12 years now for a simple reason that my wife doesn't want it. I am now frustrated. I feel physically strangulated. One of friends asked me seek pleasure outside but i am avert to it. I want feel very depressed sometimes and get a strong urge but to no help. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not alone! There are many couples in this age bracket who have very mismatched sexual urges; but that doesn't take the fact away that there is a marriage and love within it, right?

What do we do when children grow from a baby to a adult? Every phase requires us to interact with them very differently. From being instructional to giving them their space, we have managed it all...How? Because we have acknowledged that children grow up and that we need to keep adapting to suit their minds and their age then.

It's the same with marriage as well. It's not fair to expect that your wife will be sexually active and highly charged up like she used to in the early days of marriage. She possibly is going through her perimenopause or some changes emotionally that is possibly deterring her from getting intimate. Talk to her, care for her, support her and also know that there are other forms of sexual intimacy other than sex alone. Start slowly, like you are still dating and bring back the spice element. Get a general check-up done to rule out any deficiencies in terms of vitamins so that this can be added as supplements.

Now, does this mean that she will be back with the energy and urge of a 25-year old? Possibly not, but at least it will give you both time to appreciate that there are phases in life and to accept this calls for maturity and a great deal of understanding. So, start by talking about it and take it slowly...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu I ma married man with age of 54 & my wife is 52 years. We are married since 30 years and we are not having good sexual relationship. She is more keen but i have some issues with my health. From the beginning I have disorders and do even ejaculate very soon. Because of this our relations are not that good. Now we are on the verge of separation but due to childrens who are quire grown up and settled in their life they are strictly against this decision of ours. My wife wants divorce from me and wants to settle down with someone else and at present there is no such person in her life. I also want divorce but of the last thought. How can I regain my sexual life again please let me know.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's really sad all the years of togetherness becomes nothing in front of physical relationships.
My suggestion would be to work on whatever is coming in between the two of you; which means what is stopping you from having a good sex life must be addressed.
It could be simple medical treatment or mind techniques to work on these challenges. Divorce in my opinion in your case, seems to be an impulsive move taken in frustration. Think it through and calmly address the main issue and work at it. Request your wife also to be a part of this. Do reconsider your decision to separate by trying to work out the differences. Even after that if things persist, then you know what you want to do. But at least give it a try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Get me some clearity on HDFC BALANCED ADVANTAGE FUND as from last few days my portfolio is going in negative
Ans: Understanding Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced Advantage Funds invest in both equity and debt. They adjust their investments based on market conditions. This flexibility helps manage risk and aim for steady returns.

Recent Performance Insights

It's natural to feel concerned when your portfolio shows negative returns. Remember, short-term declines are common in investments. Balanced Advantage Funds aim to reduce risk by adjusting their investments. This strategy helps manage market ups and downs.

Factors Influencing Performance

Several elements can affect your fund's performance:

Market Volatility: Changes in the market can impact returns.

Asset Allocation: The mix of equity and debt plays a role.

Interest Rate Changes: Fluctuations can influence debt investments.

Economic Indicators: Factors like inflation and GDP growth are important.

Evaluating Fund Performance

To assess your fund's performance:

Compare with Benchmarks: See how it measures up against standard indices.

Review Historical Returns: Look at past performance over different periods.

Consider Risk-Adjusted Returns: Evaluate returns in relation to the risk taken.

Staying the Course

It's commendable to stay focused on your long-term goals. Short-term market changes shouldn't deter your investment strategy. Maintaining discipline is key to achieving financial objectives.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

For personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide guidance tailored to your financial situation.

Final Thoughts

Market fluctuations are a part of investing. Balanced Advantage Funds are designed to manage these ups and downs. Staying informed and patient can help you reach your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Money
Hello, my mother is 62 year old pensioner. She has invested funds in government securities and postal schemes. Despite submitting 15H form and filing ITR (as a senior citizen person), her tax is getting deducted. Can you kindly explain why this is happening?
Ans: There are a few possible reasons why TDS (Tax Deducted at Source) is being deducted from your mother's investments, despite submitting Form 15H and filing ITR.

1. Incorrect or Late Submission of Form 15H
Form 15H must be submitted at the start of the financial year to all institutions where she has investments.
If submitted after TDS is deducted, it won’t apply retrospectively to recover the deducted tax.
Ensure the form is submitted separately to each bank, post office, or financial institution.
2. Exceeding the Basic Exemption Limit
For senior citizens (60+ years), income up to Rs. 3 lakhs is tax-free.
If her total taxable income (pension + interest from investments) exceeds Rs. 3 lakhs, TDS will still apply.
Even if TDS is deducted, she can claim a refund while filing her ITR if her total tax liability is zero.
3. Form 15H Validity Rules
Form 15H is only valid if total taxable income is below the exemption limit.
If her total income is more than Rs. 3 lakhs, banks and post offices will ignore Form 15H and deduct TDS.
4. Different TDS Thresholds for Investments
Banks deduct TDS on FD interest if it exceeds Rs. 50,000 per year for senior citizens.
Post Office schemes (like SCSS) deduct TDS if interest crosses Rs. 50,000 per year.
Government securities may also have TDS rules based on the issuing authority.
5. PAN Not Updated with the Bank/Post Office
If PAN is not linked to the investment accounts, higher TDS at 20% is deducted.
Ensure all investments have PAN updated to avoid excess TDS.
6. Errors in Tax Deduction System
Sometimes, banks deduct TDS even if Form 15H is submitted correctly.
In such cases, she can file an ITR and claim a refund from the Income Tax Department.
What to Do Now?
Check total taxable income to confirm if she qualifies for Form 15H.
Verify all Form 15H submissions with banks and post offices.
Ensure PAN is updated in all financial institutions.
If TDS is wrongly deducted, file an ITR and claim a refund.
Would you like help with checking if she is eligible for a refund?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Money
My son is a Singapore citizen. He has a flat in his name in Co-op. Hous. Soc. in Navi Mumbai purchased in 2005. He wants to sell it. Will you please suggest ways to repatriate the proceeds with least tax implications?
Ans: Selling property in India as a non-resident involves several steps. It's important to follow these steps to ensure compliance with Indian laws and to minimize tax liabilities. Here's a detailed guide to assist your son:

1. Understanding Capital Gains Tax

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Since the property was purchased in 2005 and is being sold now, it qualifies as a long-term asset. LTCG is taxed at 20% for non-resident Indians (NRIs).

Indexation Benefit: This benefit adjusts the purchase price for inflation, reducing taxable gains.

2. Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) Obligations

TDS Rate: The buyer must deduct TDS at 20% on LTCG for NRIs. Ensure the buyer complies with this requirement.

3. Repatriation of Sale Proceeds

NRO Account: Deposit the sale proceeds into a Non-Resident Ordinary (NRO) account.

Repatriation Limit: NRIs can repatriate up to USD 1 million per financial year from their NRO account, provided all taxes are paid.

4. Documentation for Repatriation

Tax Clearance: Obtain a certificate from a Chartered Accountant in Form 15CB.

Bank Procedures: Submit Form 15CA to the bank. These forms confirm that taxes have been paid.

5. Tax Exemptions to Reduce Liability

Section 54: Invest LTCG in another residential property in India within specified timelines to claim exemption.

Section 54EC: Invest in specified bonds within six months of sale to avail exemption. The maximum investment limit is Rs 50 lakhs.

6. Currency Exchange Considerations

Exchange Rate: The prevailing exchange rate at the time of repatriation will apply.

Bank Charges: Be aware of potential charges during the transfer process.

7. Professional Consultation

Certified Financial Planner: Consult a Certified Financial Planner to navigate the complexities of taxation and repatriation.

By following these steps, your son can efficiently manage the sale and repatriation process, ensuring compliance and minimizing tax liabilities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for more than 3 weeks. And I don't like my husband. I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family tht I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault tht I couldn't prioritise my feelings. I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement. And after being married I have been more than depressed. My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the 2nd day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this. Everyone around me keeps on telling Me that he will go abroad in 2 weeks so I should do whatever a wife does. it's been 3 weeks and continuous arguments. I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage. I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone. Thinking about the uncertain future and consequences am not able to do anything. Am stuck in this miserable situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone that you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public. Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which his highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like.
Eg: You have to live in Japan for 2 years and you do not like that cuisine. But eventually you realize that 2 years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it; healthy, light, good on the heart etc.

It's the same here. You may have gotten forced into the marriage. But it's just 3 weeks. Give it time...NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him...maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah? See, if this is possible in the short time that you have...it's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break, think hard on this one.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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