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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

i am 32 year old guy still virgin ..marraige isgeeting delayed ,few years back i had friend who is helping me ( Only Oral ) but now she is no more with me , iam kind of feeling depressed for not getting married tell me what to do ?

Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge and understand your feelings. Feeling down about your current situation and the delayed path to marriage is natural. These emotions are valid, and recognizing them is the first step towards addressing them. It's okay to feel disappointed or anxious, and it’s essential to approach these feelings with compassion for yourself.

Take some time to reflect on your expectations around marriage and intimacy. Often, societal pressures set specific timelines and standards that don’t align with everyone’s unique journey. Consider whether the pressure you're feeling is coming from external sources or your own expectations. Understanding this can help you set more personalized and realistic goals that align with your true desires.

Focusing on personal growth and self-care can be incredibly rewarding during this period. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, building new skills, and nurturing your mental and physical health can boost your confidence and overall well-being. This personal development often attracts new opportunities, including potential relationships, by making you feel more fulfilled and self-assured.

Expanding your social circles is another step that can open up new possibilities. Consider joining clubs, attending social events, or participating in online communities that match your interests. These activities can help you connect with like-minded individuals and build meaningful relationships, which could potentially lead to finding a partner.

Seeking professional support can provide valuable guidance and perspective. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you navigate your feelings of depression, explore underlying issues, and develop strategies to manage your emotions and expectations. Therapy can also help you build confidence and improve your approach to relationships, making you feel more equipped to handle the dating world.

Reflect on how you’re approaching dating and relationships. If marriage is a priority for you, it’s worth considering how you're searching for a partner. Are you clear about your intentions and what you’re looking for in a relationship? You might find it helpful to adjust your approach, whether it’s trying different dating platforms, being more open to meeting people through friends, or exploring matchmaking services.

It’s also important to be patient and open to different possibilities. Relationships often develop when you least expect them, and being patient with the process can alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling. Trust that your journey to finding a partner is unique and unfolding at its own pace, even if it doesn't follow the timeline you had envisioned.

Embrace your past experiences, including those with your friend. They are part of your personal story and contribute to who you are today. These experiences don’t define your future relationships or your worth. Instead, view them as learning opportunities that have helped shape you and prepare you for future connections.

Remember that your value and happiness are not solely tied to being in a relationship or getting married. Focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself, and be open to the relationships that come along the way. Your path to finding a partner is unique, and it’s important to remain hopeful and proactive in creating the life you desire.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
I’ve always aspired to work in the Ministry of External Affairs, but I know the competition is tough. I will be appearing for the SSC CGL exam this year. For Tier 2, which sections or strategies should I prioritise to boost my chances of landing my dream role in this recruitment drive?
Ans: The SSC CGL exam is a competitive entry-level job in the Ministry of External Affairs (MEA), with the main role being Assistant Section Officer (ASO). Tier 2 of the exam consists of multiple papers, with Paper I being required for all postings, including MEA. The main focus areas are mathematical quantitative aptitude, thinking and general intelligence, English language and understanding, and general knowledge.

Quantitative aptitude (200 Marks) is a high-scoring but time-consuming area, with areas such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry, menuration, data interpretation, and number system. Practice and strengthen basic skills, focusing on accuracy and speed. Resources for pattern comprehension include R.S. Aggarwal's Gradeup and Testbook quantitative aptitude with online mocks.

English language and comprehension (200 Marks) is high-scoring and essential for MEA, with areas like grammar, vocabulary, comprehension, synonyms and antonyms, and sentence correction. Strategies include daily reading schedules, vocabulary expansion using Norman Lewis's Word Power Made Easy, and solving cloze tests.

General awareness (100 Marks) is crucial for MEA aspirants, with areas like current affairs, international relations, Indian polity, geography, history, and economics. Stay informed about foreign policy changes, NCERTs, and NCERTs for stationary sections.

General intelligence and reasoning (60 Marks) is a scoring section, with areas like puzzles, coding-decoding, blood relations, series, and direction tests. Techniques include trying full-length mock tests, time management, previous year reports, and preparing for essays and letter writing on global concerns. All the Best for SSC CGL Exam.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Career
Hello Sir, I’m back to you with a question . Sir, doing mechanical in top nits or iiits or bits, what are the possibilities to do ms in computer science. I keep hearing from everyone to go for cse to do ms cs , but my daughter prefers good college first and then cse, based on her capability it’s extremely difficult to get cse in tier1 , so she says I will do mechanical in tier 1 and do ms cs abroad. Please guide on the pros , cons Sir
Ans: Pursuing Mechanical Engineering at top-notional institutes like IIT, NIT, IIIT, or BITS or any other NIRF-Ranked Engineering It may please be noted that if your daugther performs well in 1st Year of her BE/BTech, she will be upgraded to CSE Branch (based on the Institute's Internal Sliding Policy). Colleges offer advantages such as a strong alumni network, branch flexibility, and a strong resume for MS admissions. Students can enroll in elective courses in programming, data structures, and computer applications to prepare for an MS in CS.

However, transitioning from Mechanical to CS for an MS overseas can be challenging due to the need for prior knowledge in CS principles. With more self-learning and certificates, it is possible. Additionally, CS is tough for MS admissions in the US, and students may have to create a strong profile through internships, online courses, and certifications in CS domains without a CS degree.

To ensure a seamless transition, students should select electives in programming and computer science based on their undergraduate course (if the institute allows). Online programs for courses in data structures, Python, and artificial intelligence can be found on CS-oriented sites like Coursera, edX, or NPTEL. Summer internships involving data analysis, coding, or automation projects can also be sought. Multidisciplinary initiatives like mechanical engineering automation or computational fluid dynamics (CFD) can also be explored.

If your daughter's main goal is to pursue an MS in CS, it is better to consider Tier 1 Institutes with CS or IT branches and top-tier institutes with Mechanical focus actively pursuing CS. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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