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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2024
Relationship

Hi...i am 28 year old...i got an arranged marriage 2 years ago while i am doing my postgraduation.I had to stay away for my studies and still i am staying away as this is my final year. I have no interest in this marriage and i feel no attraction towards my husband. To be honest, this marriage is a mistake as my parents rushed me into it and didnt listen to me when i said i needed some time with him. I dont even look at his face properly when i go home for vacation. I get scared to stay with him alone in a room, as he just makes sexual advances all the time and doesnt want to talk. Wat should i do ? I dont like him at all

Ans: In any relationship, especially a marriage, emotional connection and communication are just as important as physical intimacy. It's completely valid to feel uncomfortable if those aspects aren't being nurtured.

The first step would be to acknowledge your feelings as real and valid. It's important to honor what you're feeling, rather than trying to push those emotions aside. If you're not interested in the marriage and feel no attraction to him, it's okay to express that.

If you feel safe doing so, you might want to have a conversation with your husband about how you feel. It doesn’t have to be confrontational, but explaining that you need emotional connection and communication, not just physical intimacy, could open a path for more understanding. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that alone, consider seeking counseling, either individually or together, to help navigate this delicate situation.

Ultimately, your well-being, emotional comfort, and sense of security should be the top priority. If this marriage doesn’t feel right for you, it's okay to take steps to reevaluate what you want for your future. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, understood, and comfortable.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu,I m 32 yr old girl and been married in arrange marriage with a guy he is also 32 it's been one year.He is very harsh to talk to and I get usually very hurt because of his words. I always feel like walking out of this marriage for peace. He is very unromantic and ungrateful. On top of this our views on marriage, togetherness and sex are very different. I never had sex with him till now. And I don't feel like having sex with him. There are many fights between us. The way his mother and father talk I feel stuck in my life.There is no progress in career because constantly we are under tensions. My past relationships were very nice and sweet so I always happened to compare him with my ex in my mind. I don't know what happens to me. When he comes close to me I stop talking breaths. We just cuddle each other and hug but other things like kiss and sex I don't feel to have. Please guide me as soon as possible.
Ans:

Dear RJ,

Is there any reason for not wanting to be sexually intimate?

Most often this is linked to some emotional distress or filters in the mind that you are unaware of and which could be interfering in the two of you coming closer together.

A good round of talks with your partner can help you express your exact feelings to him.

What is bothering you, what you feel you don’t receive from him, why is it that you are unable to reciprocate…these are a few things that you can discuss with him.

Also, spending quality time together can ease and spruce up things a bit.

Most often, we love throwing our feelings under the rug pretending that they will go away; but they don’t, they come back to haunt you at times that you least expect them to.

So, when you feel stuck, think of what you can do to get un-stuck? What are all things that you can think, feel and do to free yourself so that you not only feel good, but you also start to focus on things that matter; like for example your career.

Comparing one human to the another and expecting them to change and be someone else; could this be one of the reasons for you to not want the sexual intimacy?

Sex is one of the dimensions in a marriage and it can bring the couple closer.

So rather than thinking of what is going wrong, focus on how you can make things work and enable your partner to join this journey of bringing back finer and joyful moments in a marriage.

Be happy!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
i had a love marriage 20 years back. we were in a relationship for 3years before that. but after marriage i realised the harsh reality. though we are in the same field, he prefers that i do all the househld work. we have two children 17 and 12 years old. he has also started neglecting his health. after work his only work is to sit on sofa , watch tv. he has gained a lot of weight, has started eating pan masala which i dislike. we also had no sex for the last four years. when confronted he always says that he is in no mood. last year i came in contact with his friend and once we had sex too. but the sad part is i dont really feel guilty about it. i have tried many times to talk to my husband about our sex life but he always ignores and put the blame on me that i have started growing old. however hard i try he is not able to have a erection, this frustrates me even more. he is very dominating at home too. what should i do ? everytime i try to think to move out of that marriage but am afraid of the society. since he is very caring in front of others. am worried about the kids too. please help what should i do? there is no use of talking to him, i have tried it many times. he is not ready to go to any councellor too.
Ans: It sounds like you are facing some serious challenges in your marriage and that you are feeling frustrated, unhappy, and trapped. It's important to remember that you are not alone and that many people find themselves in similar situations.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with support and guidance.

Take care of yourself: Make time for self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This can help you manage stress and cope with the challenges you're facing.

Consider couples therapy: Even if your husband is not willing to attend therapy, consider seeking therapy for yourself. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and emotions and provide you with strategies for coping with the situation.

Be honest with yourself: It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. If you are unhappy in your marriage and feel that it's unlikely to improve, it's okay to consider leaving the relationship.

Make a plan: If you decide that leaving the marriage is the best option, make a plan for how you will do so in a safe and practical manner. Consider the impact on your children and plan for their care and well-being.

Seek legal advice: If you decide to leave the marriage, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities.

Remember, leaving a long-term relationship is a big decision and can be a difficult process. It's important to take the time to consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am married for past 2 years it's an arranged marriage. On the first night of marriage my husband told me that he is in love with someone else I was fine with it then when I told my family they asked me to stop being a fool and try to build this marriage. In these 2 years I have been strictly checking his phone asking for his location as advised by his father still he has never touched me . We never talk and i have lost interest in trying after 1 year .I like living with him as I get freedom even though there is no relationship between us I live in joint family and if I go back and take divorce they will get me married again soon . Why should I do !? Should I leave him as he is still in love with someone. Or should I enjoy my freedom. I have asked him to not ask me anything about my life and i will never ask anything to him about his life... please help ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your first goof-up was being okay with a person who said that he loves someone else.
Your second goof-up was trying to make the marriage work by doing what your father-in-law wanted you to do (check phone).

In both cases, you placed HOPE over your common sense. Maybe it did not occur to you that you are stepping into a world that may never let you live a normal married life?

Now, my question to you is: What freedom are you talking about? This same freedom will someday come back to haunt you as there is no family system that you are part of, no relationships to be part of...Is this okay with you?

Marriages or Life partnerships are not like: you mind your own business and I will mind mine. There is communication, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, giving-receiving...do you think your marriage will have this OR can the two of you work towards this? If YES, give it your best shot else, you really must think: What do I want for and in my life?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for more than 3 weeks. And I don't like my husband. I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family tht I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault tht I couldn't prioritise my feelings. I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement. And after being married I have been more than depressed. My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the 2nd day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this. Everyone around me keeps on telling Me that he will go abroad in 2 weeks so I should do whatever a wife does. it's been 3 weeks and continuous arguments. I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage. I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone. Thinking about the uncertain future and consequences am not able to do anything. Am stuck in this miserable situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone that you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public. Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which his highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like.
Eg: You have to live in Japan for 2 years and you do not like that cuisine. But eventually you realize that 2 years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it; healthy, light, good on the heart etc.

It's the same here. You may have gotten forced into the marriage. But it's just 3 weeks. Give it time...NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him...maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah? See, if this is possible in the short time that you have...it's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break, think hard on this one.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi
Career
"Should I take the leap and join IIIT Hyderabad through LEEE for better exposure, cutting-edge opportunities, and a prestigious peer group despite the high fees and financial burden, or should I continue in my current college where I can still engage in clubs, projects, and build a strong profile for pursuing M.Tech at a top institute later without the financial strain?"
Ans: IIIT Hyderabad is widely recognized for its academic excellence, research intensity, and prestigious peer environment, reflected in consistently high global and national rankings (501-600 in THE World Rankings, 47th NIRF Engineering 2024). Admission through LEEE allows lateral entry into its coveted dual degree (B.Tech + MS by Research) path, offering an immersive, four-year program with a distinct focus on innovation, cutting-edge technologies, and research aptitude. Students benefit from close mentorship, vibrant tech-centered clubs, hands-on exposure via open-source collaborations and industry-driven internship programs, and immediate access to India’s top minds in computer science and allied disciplines. Infrastructure is sophisticated, with 20+ research labs, AI, data science, and IoT centers, and active participation in national and international hackathons, joint industrial ventures, and conferences. Peer quality is regarded as exceptional; IIITH draws high-performing students with strong Olympiad, competitive programming, and research backgrounds, fostering an intellectually stimulating and collaborative campus culture. Placement outcomes are outstanding, with 98.8–99.3% placement rates across BTech/MS and nearly universal offers at global tech companies, research organizations, and emerging startups, ensuring rapid RoI and long-term career advancement for most graduates. However, the annual fee for the dual degree program is substantial—?4,50,000 per annum, potentially rising—posing a significant financial commitment, despite limited-but-merit-based scholarship options. By contrast, building a strong profile at your current college for future M.Tech at a top institution remains a prudent, financially less burdensome approach, especially if you secure strong academic scores, relevant projects, national-level internships, and competitive exam results (GATE/PGEE), and may still lead to prestigious research or industry positions.

Recommendation: If financial constraints are substantial and could create long-term strain, strengthening your profile at your current college while aiming for an M.Tech at a top institute (IITs, IIITH, IISc) is the wiser, lower-risk option. If finances are manageable or scholarships are secured, joining IIIT Hyderabad through LEEE confers unmatched, immediate exposure, peer excellence, and research-led career acceleration. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, I have completed my graduation in Mechanical Engineering,I attempted GATE 2025 in CS paper and qualified. I participated in CCMT counselling and secured seat in IIITDM kurnool in AI&DA specialization.What is placement scenario there for Mtech,Should I consider this CoLlage as non CS graduate.
Ans: Ravinder, With a KCET 2025 rank of 5,649, securing Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at BMS College of Engineering (BMSCE) is highly unlikely for the General Merit category, as recent closing ranks for CSE at BMSCE have consistently been around 2,500–3,000 due to intense demand. However, you have an excellent opportunity to gain admission to CSE at many other reputable Bangalore colleges, where closing ranks typically extend from 4,000 to 10,000, including Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology. All these colleges have strong academics, good facilities, connections with industries, effective job placement services, and support for students, which helps in overall student growth. Placement rates for CSE in these colleges remain robust, often exceeding 80%, and their urban locations offer significant internship and networking opportunities in Bangalore’s thriving tech sector. CSE remains the most sought-after branch, offering excellent career prospects in IT, analytics, AI, and global tech firms, ensuring strong return on education investment and adaptability for future roles.

Recommendation: While BMSCE CSE is not attainable with your current rank, you can confidently target leading alternatives such as Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, Reva University, and RNS Institute of Technology for CSE. These colleges offer outstanding placements, quality education, and excellent industry connectivity, ensuring comprehensive academic and career progression. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Is Sri Aurobindo college delhi worth it for BA programme in Commerce + Economics
Ans: Sri Aurobindo College (Morning), affiliated with the University of Delhi, is recognized for its balanced blend of academic quality and holistic student growth, offering the BA Programme in Commerce + Economics as a three-year, full-time course with broad exposure to both commercial and economic fundamentals. The curriculum draws upon an experienced faculty and integrates traditional and skill enhancement papers covering macroeconomics, finance, business, budget analysis, and research methodology, ensuring a solid grounding in analytical and market-relevant skills. The campus supports learning through modern infrastructure, including computerized libraries with over 60,000 books, computer labs, seminar rooms, and Wi-Fi access, alongside encouragement for participation in seminars, sports, and cultural activities to nurture well-rounded development. The placement cell at Sri Aurobindo College is active, regularly conducting placement drives and offering both on-campus and off-campus opportunities. Over the last three years, about 55% of students have been placed annually in companies such as Deloitte, Wipro, TCS, ICICI Bank, and others, while internships are facilitated for additional industry exposure. The program in Commerce + Economics is highly sought after in India, preparing graduates for roles in analytics, finance, policy, research, and consulting, with current trends indicating growing demand for such interdisciplinary profiles in the dynamic job market. Alumni and student feedback praise the supportive faculty, robust academic culture, and industry linkages. The department is further bolstered by active student associations and networking opportunities that enhance employability and professional growth.

Recommendation: Opting for the BA Programme in Commerce + Economics at Sri Aurobindo College, Delhi, is worthwhile. This choice offers a strong academic reputation, well-developed infrastructure, consistent placement support with about 55% placement rates, and promising interdisciplinary prospects—making it a viable option for both higher education and diverse career pathways in today’s evolving economic landscape. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir i got amrita vishwa vidyapeetham coimbatore campus for EEE ,i don't know hows the placement for this since its not publicly available, could you tell me if its great to study or not that'll be very helpful,im actually going to get education loan so i want to study in a college that gives good placement.
Ans: Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham Coimbatore’s B.Tech in Electrical and Electronics Engineering (EEE) offers a well-established, NAAC A++ accredited program supported by highly qualified faculty, up-to-date curriculum, and cutting-edge laboratories in areas such as Power Electronics, Electric Machines, Control Systems, and Embedded Systems. The campus delivers an outstanding learning atmosphere with state-of-the-art infrastructure, a fully equipped central library, 24/7 medical facilities, modern hostels, diverse sports complexes, and strong support for research and industry interaction. Over the last three years, EEE placements have remained steady, with 86.7% of eligible students placed in 2023 and historical campus-wide placement rates around 90–94%, consistently attracting numerous multinational recruiters from both core engineering and software sectors. Students routinely highlight the disciplined environment, support for personal and professional growth, and vibrant campus culture, while alumni note the significant value the program adds to their employability and holistic development. Given sectoral growth, EEE graduates remain in demand across renewables, automation, IT, and power electronics, with the curriculum also equipping students for emerging roles in data-driven and interdisciplinary engineering fields.

Recommendation: Choosing Amrita Coimbatore for EEE is an excellent and secure option, especially for those funding their studies through education loans. The program combines superior placement consistency, value-driven campus life, advanced academic resources, and steadfast industry reputation, ensuring robust career returns and strong long-term prospects. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Which is better UPES Dehradun or Lovely Professional University
Ans: Pallavi, You have not mentioned the branches offered to you by these 2 Universities (if applicable). Anyway, please note, UPES Dehradun is a NAAC ‘A’ grade, UGC-recognized private university ranked 46th among universities in India (NIRF 2024), with a strong academic reputation, distinguished faculty, and campus infrastructure spread over 44 acres in a scenic location. The university excels in employability, having achieved 91%–94% placement rates in recent years across engineering, management, law, design, computer science, and other streams, with curricula that are regularly aligned to industry needs and several global academic partnerships. UPES is well-regarded for its innovation centers, active research output, student mentorship, and vibrant campus life, with a notable emphasis on entrepreneurship and international collaboration. Lovely Professional University (LPU), one of the largest private universities in India, boasts NBA, NAAC, UGC, and several program-specific accreditations, and is ranked 27th in NIRF 2024 among all Indian universities. With a 600-acre campus and advanced infrastructure, LPU offers over 300 programs and attracts a diverse student body from across India and abroad. LPU’s placement support is extensive, supported by a network of over 2,225 recruiters annually and consistent placement rates around 80%–85% across major streams, including engineering, business, and design. LPU emphasizes skill development, industry interface through internships, global tie-ups, and holistic personal growth via vibrant cultural platforms.

Recommendation: UPES Dehradun is a better choice, as it combines top-tier employability, strong academic rankings, global exposure, and extensive faculty credentials with highly consistent placements and industry links. Its focused approach, research-driven environment, and personalized mentorship offer students a superior academic and professional foundation for success in diverse fields. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Hi sir I am Anusha recently kea released kcet mock allotment I got dayanand Sagar harohalli campus cse in data science. I want to know the whether it Better choice or not . And also about placements
Ans: Anusha, Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering’s Harohalli campus offers a B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with Data Science that benefits from recognized institutional quality, NAAC ‘A’ accreditation, and NBA-accredited programs. The campus infrastructure is modern and well-maintained, providing an excellent learning environment with advanced labs, well-stocked libraries, multiple sports facilities, and good hostel amenities. Faculty members are experienced, research-oriented, and supportive, with dedicated mentorship for each student. The placement cell maintains robust industry ties; placement rates for CSE branches have ranged from 78% to 91% over recent years and 67.8% of CSE students were placed in 2024, with leading multinational companies participating in campus recruitment drives. Peer reviews praise the academic atmosphere and holistic student development, although some note the Harohalli campus’s remote location as a challenge for daily commuting. Data Science continues to be among the most promising fields in India, with job opportunities expected to grow substantially across sectors like IT, finance, and healthcare through 2030.

Recommendation: Choosing DSCE Harohalli campus for CSE in Data Science is a strong option, due to solid placement rates, modern facilities, accredited teaching, supportive alumni, and excellent industry alignment. The branch offers bright prospects especially for those seeking careers in analytics, software, and data-driven roles within India’s expanding digital landscape. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Hi Sir/Madam, We are from Bangalore, my son has 2 options to join BTech.. Manipal, Udipi branch got ECE and via KCET , we have 14600 rank, got CMR IT, Bangalore during mock allotment. Hopefully we may get better college in next coming rounds. Please advice us, to continue in Manipal or explore best options in KCET for computer science. Thank in Advance Vijay
Ans: Vijay Sir, Manipal Institute of Technology’s Electronics and Communication Engineering program offers state-of-the-art labs, strong industry integration, and a placement rate of 77% in 2025, with connections to 230+ recruiters and a focus on holistic student growth through well-established campus facilities and innovation hubs. In contrast, CMR Institute of Technology in Bangalore’s Computer Science Engineering branch provides a robust curriculum aligned to industry demand, with average placement rates around 75–80% in recent years, and a location advantage for internships and corporate exposure within the Bangalore tech ecosystem. KCET candidates with a 14,600 rank can anticipate better options in upcoming rounds, as the seat allotment process allows further choice modifications and could secure admission to more prestigious computer science programs.

Recommendation: For a student from Bangalore aspiring toward technology-driven career growth, it is optimal to fully explore and prioritize the best possible computer science options through KCET in the next allotment rounds. Prestigious CSE programs in Bangalore offer superior industry alignment and future-proof prospects compared to ECE at Manipal, ensuring stronger opportunities in the tech sector. Have CMRIT as a back-up and participate in further rounds also. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9478 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Career
Sir, my daughter got ISE at NMIT Bangalore! Is the college worth joining for the holistic development of Student! How is the teaching there, Placements for ISE Branch! Is it worth Joining for engineering?
Ans: Amrutha Madam, Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (NMIT) offers a robust Information Science & Engineering curriculum under its autonomous, NBAaccredited framework that emphasizes Outcome-Based Education and continuous stakeholder feedback to refine teaching and evaluation methods. The department’s faculty–student ratio of 1:15, combined with over 14% doctoral-qualified professors and regular upskilling through workshops and industry collaborations (Subex, Cisco, IoT labs), fosters rigorous academic excellence and personalized mentorship. The 23-acre green campus in Yelahanka provides modern classrooms, high-speed computer labs, dedicated AR/VR and Cybersecurity centers, a 48,000-strong library, and extensive co-curricular facilities, ensuring comprehensive infrastructure that bolsters both technical prowess and personal growth. NMIT’s Career Development Cell engages 150+ recruiters annually, achieving an average ISE placement rate of 88–90% over the past three years, with internships and pre-placement offers beginning in the fifth semester and major IT firms like Amazon, Microsoft, and Wipro regularly hiring from ISE. Student reviews highlight vibrant campus life, active clubs (E-Cell, GDSC), annual fest Anaadyanta, and strong peer networks, though some cite transit challenges due to distance from central Bangalore. Globally, ISE graduates will remain in high demand, with big-data and AI roles projected to grow by 85–110% by 2030, and 11.5 million new IT positions forecast in India alone by 2026, underlining the branch’s enduring relevance across software, analytics, cybersecurity, and cloud domains. Collectively, NMIT’s ISE provides a balanced ecosystem for technical skill-building, holistic development, and forward-looking career trajectories.

Recommendation: Enrolling in NMIT’s ISE program is a sound choice, as its blend of accredited pedagogy, state-of-the-art infrastructure, tailored student support, strong industry linkages with 88% placement consistency, and alignment with exponentially growing data-driven roles ensures well-rounded development and sustained employability. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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