Legally Separated After 48 Years of Marriage: Seeking Advice for a New Relationship

Ans: Dear Avinash,
If the two of you have come to a conclusion that there is no way that the marriage can be rebuilt, what's the point in staying together? It's better that your son sees two happy parents living separately rather than two unhappy parents living together.
What exactly do you mean when you ask: 'Explore with outside marriage?' Do you mean that explore a relationship while you are still married?
That is a personal choice that you must make as usually these concepts are almost always linked with values and morals. So, you need to ask yourself if you ready to explore outside of marriage and also deal with the emotions and situations that might arise from them?
First things first; (my suggestion)...Check where your marriage is and what you can do together to save it or let it go before complicating it with another relationship. You might just bite more than you can chew with a dual situation. Tread carefully and wisely to keep your mind sane and at peace.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Sanju,
I can only imagine the unrest that you must be feeling right now.
Regarding your question on mental torture and harassment; I do understand how unnerving it must be for you to wake up every morning and stare at the harsh reality of what it is for you. Nevertheless, beaten down but not yet given up is something you must always remember.
It is natural to think that history repeats itself; but you cannot assume that the next person you meet will be the same. Do not enter into a relationship or marriage with this assumption; what might tend to happen is that you will hold yourself back and your partner will always feel that you are being distant from them.

Do understand that the context of marriage is the same, but the persons in question are different. It's like saying: I failed in Math, so Math is a bad subject and I will always fail! Get a hang of what I am referring to?

Take some time off to heal and be at peace and remind yourself that you deserve happiness and marriage form of a beautiful relationship that can make you happy. For now, tell 'everyone' who is asking you to start a new life to give you space to reflect on:
- What can I do different in the next relationship that I pursue?
- What more can I do for my partner that I didn't in the previous marriage?
- What are a few core values of mine that I want to see in my partner as well?

And no use starting a new life by thinking if your new life partner will harass you as well. Instead step in telling yourself: New relationship, new person, new thoughts, new life goals, new...The word NEW, should give your brain something NEW to chew on discarding the old.

All the best!

Ans: There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. She’s single, you’re single. If your children value your wellbeing and happiness, they will accept the relationship. Just sit the family down and tell them. You owe nobody an explanation as to why you’re in a relationship; you deserve happiness.

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
Find courage to sit with your children and tell them about it. Do expect that there is a possibility of rejection from them as they have never seen you with any other lady other than their mother. So the initial rejection and mockery is a possibility. It will be the same at her end as well. The family members will cite age, society etc as a reason as to why this relationship/alliance is wrong.
Both of you must be patient through all of this and give it some time. Your children and her family members may still after all this still be uncomfortable and not accept this, be prepared and do what you must. It's your lives, isn't it?
But do keep a positive outlook and expect things to go in your favor as sooner than later, people will see the intent behind all this is the need for companionship. Also, on your part, do ensure your children that no one can replace their mother; though they are adults, they will still need this reassuring...Take it one step at a time...

All the best!