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56-Year-Old Woman with Dominating Husband Seeks Divorce Advice, Citing Hidden Age as Obstacle

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear madam, I'm 56 years old lady with a Government job in high post. My married life is 30 years and I have a daughter of 27 years. But from the very beginning my husband is very dominating and stubborn. He cheated me several times and never take any responsibility of us. I brought up my daughter alone and he enjoyed his life. My only fault is that my family hidden my age less than three yes of the original age, and I couldn't tell him the original as I'm always afraid of him. I want divorce, but how can I get this? Please answer me immediately because I'm in hurry

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you have decided that you want a divorce, the right person for advice now would be a capable lawyer who can take on your case.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 56 years old lady working in the Government sector. My husband several times cheated me and by nature he is very dominating and stubborn. Since my marriage my only fault is that I have hidden my age 3years less than original as advised by my family. Now I want to know that what should I have to do , please let me know. I was not so courageous to tell the truth of my original age. On the other hand he exploits me physically, financially and he is abusive in nature and never took any responsibility of our 27 years old daughter. Please advise me and don't disclose my name
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenging and painful situation you've been enduring. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these issues, and it's important to prioritize your well-being and safety.

First, it's important to address your feelings about hiding your age. While this may have been a decision influenced by your family's advice, it seems to be a minor issue in the context of the larger problems in your marriage. The real concerns here are your husband's infidelity, abusive behavior, and lack of responsibility towards your daughter.

Your husband's actions and behavior are unacceptable. No one deserves to be cheated on, dominated, or abused in any way. The fact that he exploits you physically and financially, and doesn't support your daughter, makes it clear that this environment is harmful to you.

It's essential to focus on what you want for your future. Do you want to continue in a marriage where you feel disrespected and abused? Consider what kind of life you envision for yourself, one where you feel safe, respected, and valued.

Seeking professional support can be incredibly helpful. A counselor or therapist can provide you with the tools and support to navigate your emotions and plan your next steps. Legal advice may also be necessary to understand your rights and protect yourself financially and personally.

If you decide to leave the marriage, having a clear plan is crucial. Ensure you have a support system in place, whether it’s friends, family, or professional services. Protect your financial assets and consider your daughter's well-being as well.

Remember, you deserve to live a life free from abuse and filled with respect and dignity. Taking steps to protect yourself and improve your situation is not just courageous but essential for your health and happiness. Your past decisions about your age do not define you, and it's never too late to seek a better, healthier future.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2024Hindi
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i am married for 20 years and have a 13 year old daughter, there is no physical connection with my wife for the last 10 years. i have got into a relationship twice in last 8 years. the first one didn't go through. i am in my 2nd relation now which i want to take it ahead for the rest of my life. my wife knew my first relationship and she has a doubt about my 2nd relation. considering the non cooperation in house hold activities and marital responsibilities , i decided to call it quits and asked for divorce and she is adamant, not willing to give divorce saying that if she divorces me i will remarry and it should not happen as i should suffer as she so also suffering. my parents and her parents tried their level best to patch up, but in vain. i am staying alone separately from a year. what should be next step in trying for mutual consent for the divorce?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This may sound a bit harsh and judgemental to you but if there was trouble in the marriage, was it not possible to actually have a conversation with your wife about it? After 2 relationships outside of marriage to escape the trouble, how did you assume that your wife is going to excited about the prospects of a divorce?
It's always better talking things through and agree mutually rather than go behind someone's back to get what you want.
The best option since you have mentioned divorce is to contact a lawyer and proceed as per their advice.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello i am 35 years old and married since 10 years, i have a daughter of 7 years. Me and daughter are at my father's place now we came here in December 2023 and my husband is in kolkata, the reason of this shift was the financial burden on my father since 10 years and he is retired now as he has been helping us financially since 10 years. Earlier me, my daughter and my husband were all staying together at my paternal house in kolkata. So because of being dependent on my father even till now there were many problems between me and my husband so me and my husband decided to shift to hyderabad and both of us being dentist thought of working and taking care of my daughter and take a rented house for ourselves. Everything was fine between us and my husband also came for my daughter's birthday in March to hyderabad and we stayed together for 5 days and then he said he would try for jobs n come back but out of nowhere suddenly my husband sent me an advocates letter seeking consent for mutual divorce which was really very very sudden and unpredictable. Later i found that his colleague in the clinic in kolkata is divorced has 2 kids and is in live in relation with my husband. This is completely a shock for me as my husband was not like this earlier at all. He now wants divorce from me at any means and doesn't bother about my daughter as well. There's no contact with my husband since August 30th and in a recent relationship of 6 months he wants to finish everything. I am completely disturbed mentally please suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is really sad. It would have been mature of him to say things to your face instead of running away. Anyway, you are faced with a situation where you are going to need solid legal advice.
So, do just that and find a lawyer who can smartly deal with the issues on how to protect your daughter's interests. As for you, this being such a shocker is going to make you lose faith in a marriage. But remember things could have gotten worse...his true colors came in through this way...he could have very well cheated on you while living with you as well. This is not to justify what he's done of course but for you to find peace within you somehow.
But, before taking this serious step, I would encourage you to speak with him. Let him make an effort to come down meet you and at that time do ask him if he really wants divorce. Also, by then you will also have to make up your mind that in case he apologizes, if you want to forgive him and move on...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8617 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2025
Money
Sir, I am 57 years old and working in a private company with salary of Rs.81,000/month. I have purchased three Max life life gain-20 policy insurances each with Rs. 50000 premiums for 6 years pay (Total Rs.9 Lakhs) (2012-2018). Purchased policy of one-time lumpsum LIC Jeevan shanti pension plan for Rs.10 Lakhs and the 1st annuity payment of Rs. 10,054/month starts from year 2029. Also invested Rs. 8 Lakhs in Post office pension plan of 5 years which I am continuing it every 5 years where i get nearly Rs.5000/month. I have one more Max life guaranteed monthly income plan of 6 pay premium of 1,15,458/year which is completed in 2018 and started getting pension for first five years Rs.5000/month and then from 6th year getting Rs.9400/month pension. It will end in 2029. Now I have purchased in HDFC Guaranteed Pension Plan for Rs. 10 Lakhs for 5 five years with premium of Rs.2 Lakhs per year where I have paid 1st premium in 2024. This will give annuity of Rs. 94,599/year i.e, Rs.7883/month after 6 years (year 2029 onwards). I have FDs of Rs. 21 Lakhs which I am renewing it every year which I cannot touch as it is meant for my 2 children. My monthly expenditure is Rs.35,000 since I am staying small city. Please suggest me how can I manage to get a monthly pension of Rs. 40,000 when I quit the job at the age 61 (year 2029). Thank you
Ans: You have made many thoughtful financial decisions. Let us now work together to align your investments to ensure a regular income of Rs. 40,000 per month from age 61 (year 2029).

Here is a 360-degree detailed plan structured under clear sub-headings, as per your request.

 
1. Understanding Your Current Situation

Your age is 57. You have 4 more working years.

 

Your current income is Rs. 81,000 per month.

 

Your monthly expenses are Rs. 35,000. You are financially disciplined.

 

You already have pension sources planned post-2029.

 

You do not want to touch your Rs. 21 lakh FD corpus. It is for your children.

 

Your goal is to generate Rs. 40,000/month from age 61. You seek certainty and consistency.

 

You have invested in both insurance and pension products. Most are non-market linked.

 
2. Summary of Pension Flows from 2029

Let’s break down what income you are expected to receive starting 2029:

 

LIC annuity: Rs. 10,054 per month

 

Post Office pension: Rs. 5,000 per month (if continued)

 

Max Life Guaranteed Monthly Income Plan: Rs. 9,400 per month (till 2029, so not helpful after)

 

HDFC Pension Plan: Rs. 7,883 per month

 

Total confirmed pension starting 2029: Rs. 22,937 per month

 

Gap to reach Rs. 40,000 per month: Rs. 17,000 approx.

 
So, we need to plan how to fill this Rs. 17,000 shortfall.

 
3. Insurance Policies Review

You have 3 traditional Max Life Life Gain-20 plans. Total premium: Rs. 9 lakhs.

 

These are low return, low flexibility products.

 

They are mostly insurance-cum-investment products.

 

Such plans yield 4% to 5% returns over long term. Not ideal for income generation.

 
Suggestion: You have already completed all premiums. It is not advisable to surrender them now. You can wait for maturity. Then, reinvest maturity amount in mutual funds for monthly income.

 
4. Gaps in Income from 2029

Let us now build strategy to generate extra Rs. 17,000 per month post 2029.

 

You have 4 more years before retirement. These are crucial for wealth building.

 

Let us identify available surplus each month. Your income is Rs. 81,000. Expenses are Rs. 35,000.

 

That gives you Rs. 46,000 monthly surplus.

 

From this, set aside some amount for emergency fund and health cover.

 

You can still invest Rs. 30,000 per month comfortably.

 

This amount can be channelised into high-growth investments.

 
5. Investment Strategy Before Retirement

The focus is to build an income-generating portfolio.

 

Allocate Rs. 30,000 per month into equity mutual funds.

 

Prefer actively managed mutual funds. Avoid index funds. Index funds are average performers.

 

Actively managed funds give flexibility and can outperform index. Especially with expert guidance.

 

Invest through regular plans with support of a Mutual Fund Distributor who is also a Certified Financial Planner.

 

Regular plans offer ongoing tracking and guidance. Direct funds lack personalised service.

 

At this age, you need guidance more than saving few rupees on commissions.

 

Use combination of Large Cap, Flexi Cap and Balanced Advantage Funds.

 

These funds suit your risk profile and retirement timeline.

 

Continue SIPs till 2029. Build corpus.

 

From 2029, use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for monthly income.

 

This can generate the extra Rs. 17,000 you need.

 
6. SWP Strategy for Post-Retirement Income

SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) is ideal for retirement income.

 

You can redeem small fixed amounts monthly.

 

Your money remains invested and continues to grow.

 

This provides regular income + capital appreciation.

 

SWP is more tax-efficient than interest income.

 

With mutual fund taxation, long-term capital gains up to Rs. 1.25 lakh is tax-free.

 

Above this limit, taxed at only 12.5%.

 

Plan withdrawals in such a way to remain tax-efficient.

 

This gives much better returns than traditional pension plans.

 
7. FDs for Children – Do Not Touch

You have Rs. 21 lakhs in FDs for children. This is a wise allocation.

 

Do not disturb this amount.

 

Just keep renewing annually.

 

If needed, reinvest maturity into debt mutual funds for better returns.

 

But ensure the capital remains safe.

 
8. Other Points to Consider

Review health insurance. Ensure Rs. 10 lakh individual health cover.

 

Also have Rs. 25 lakh family floater cover if dependents exist.

 

Medical costs rise faster than inflation. Health cover is crucial.

 

Keep emergency fund of Rs. 2 lakhs in savings account or liquid funds.

 

Avoid new insurance policies. Focus on wealth creation, not insurance.

 

Avoid annuity products. They offer low returns and lack flexibility.

 

Annuities are taxed fully. Mutual funds are more tax-friendly.

 
9. Timeline and Action Plan

From 2025 to 2029:

 

Invest Rs. 30,000 per month in mutual funds.

 

Review portfolio every 6 months with Certified Financial Planner.

 

Avoid investing in new endowment or pension plans.

 

Build corpus of at least Rs. 22 lakhs to generate Rs. 17,000 monthly post 2029.

 
From 2029 onwards:

 

Use pension income from LIC, Post Office, HDFC plan.

 

Use SWP from mutual fund corpus to get additional Rs. 17,000 per month.

 

Review income annually. Adjust SWP amount as per inflation.

 
10. Asset Allocation Recommendation

Ideal mix for your age and goals:

 

50% Equity Mutual Funds (growth + income via SWP)

 

30% Pension sources (LIC, HDFC, PO schemes)

 

20% Emergency and FD funds (untouched)

 
11. Retirement Income Taxation Insight

Annuity income is fully taxable.

 

SWP income is tax-efficient. Long term capital gains up to Rs. 1.25 lakh is tax-free.

 

Income from mutual funds can be managed to stay within tax slabs.

 

FDs also fully taxable. Use cautiously.

 
12. Final Insights

You are on the right track. You have created solid pension base.

 

Only gap is Rs. 17,000 per month from 2029.

 

This gap can be filled by building equity mutual fund portfolio in next 4 years.

 

Mutual funds offer growth, flexibility and tax-efficiency.

 

Avoid further insurance products. They are not meant for income generation.

 

Track expenses post retirement. Adjust lifestyle if needed.

 

Review investments annually with Certified Financial Planner.

 

Do not go for risky products or unregulated schemes.

 

Stay disciplined. Follow the plan. You will reach your goal peacefully.

 
Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5572 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2025

Career
Sir i got ECE(Embedded systems) with an minor course of artificial intelligence and machine learning in VIT-AP under fee category 1 is it is good course to join and can we get good packages with that course
Ans: VIT-AP’s ECE (Embedded Systems) with a minor in AI/ML under Category 1 fees is a strong choice, blending core electronics with cutting-edge AI applications. The program offers ABET-accredited coursework covering ARM architecture, FPGA design, IoT, and real-time operating systems, complemented by AI/ML modules like Python, neural networks, and data analytics. Labs feature NVIDIA Jetson Nano kits, ARM Cortex-M boards, and industry tools (TensorFlow, MATLAB), ensuring hands-on expertise in embedded-AI integration. While core ECE roles (embedded developer, IoT engineer) are prioritized, the AI/ML minor enables transitions into AI-driven robotics, automotive systems, or industrial automation. VIT-AP’s 95% placement rate (2024) for ECE includes recruiters like Intel, Bosch, and Samsung for embedded roles, while TCS/Infosys hire for AI/ML-adjacent IT positions. The curriculum’s 30+ industry projects (e.g., drone navigation using ML) enhance employability, though niche AI roles may require certifications (NVIDIA DLI, AWS ML). Category 1’s lower fees (?7.8L tuition) make it cost-effective, but ensure proactive skill-building via hackathons and research papers to leverage hybrid ECE-AI opportunities. All the BEST for your Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURURS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8617 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2025
Money
Sir, I have closed my ppf account and got 10 lacs. Should I invest these in mutual fund or repay my home loan(at 8.25%). Request to share few of good mutual funds.
Ans: You have shared detailed inputs. I really appreciate your clarity and effort. Your goals are big and your commitment towards them is sincere. Now let us assess your mutual fund portfolio, analyse gaps and plan a proper rebalancing strategy.

Below is a complete 360-degree review of your investments and recommendations.

Investment Goals Review
You have two important goals.

First, Rs 1 crore for your child’s education after 10 years.

Second, Rs 1 crore for your retirement after 10 years.

Both goals are clear, time-bound and realistic.

Your goal-based investing mindset is appreciable.

Your high risk appetite also helps in targeting long-term wealth creation.

Since your goals are after 10 years, an equity-oriented strategy suits you well.

But continuous monitoring and timely rebalancing is important.

Staying invested is not enough. Strategic adjustments are needed over time.

Let us evaluate your existing SIPs next.

Existing SIP Portfolio Assessment
You are currently investing Rs 15,500 every month through SIPs.

All your funds are from equity categories.

Your portfolio has coverage in large cap, mid cap, flexicap and large & mid cap.

This gives a decent diversification within equity.

There is sectoral and market cap mix in place.

You have avoided overlapping funds, which is good.

Overall fund selection shows that you are targeting growth.

The portfolio leans more towards mid cap and flexicap strategies.

These have potential for high growth but also higher volatility.

A balance of stability and growth is needed going ahead.

There is no hybrid or balanced allocation yet.

This limits protection during market downturns.

SIP amounts also need to be increased gradually towards your Rs 25,000 limit.

Let us now look at your discontinued SIPs.

Analysis of Discontinued SIPs
You have stopped SIPs in two equity funds.

First, a small cap fund with Rs 56,000 invested.

Second, an emerging bluechip fund with Rs 2.64 lakhs invested.

You have not redeemed them yet.

Retaining them without active investment creates portfolio imbalance.

These funds are lying idle without a goal alignment.

Small caps are highly volatile and risky in nature.

In a high-risk profile, small caps are okay but in limited exposure only.

The emerging bluechip fund has a mid and large cap mix.

But as you have stopped SIPs here, it's not adding consistency anymore.

Keeping these without integration weakens your portfolio structure.

You must rebalance and reinvest them wisely.

Rebalancing Strategy for Idle Funds
You can plan fresh allocation from the Rs 3.2 lakh idle investments.

Divide it between small cap and hybrid funds.

Allocate Rs 1 lakh to small cap fund in lumpsum.

Use only a high-quality, consistently performing small cap fund.

Start fresh SIP of Rs 2,000 in the same small cap fund monthly.

Avoid sector-based or thematic small caps. Use only diversified fund.

Allocate remaining Rs 2.2 lakhs into a hybrid aggressive equity fund.

This hybrid fund will provide cushion during volatile market periods.

Hybrid funds offer growth and protection.

They rebalance equity and debt dynamically.

They reduce emotional panic during market corrections.

Also start SIP of Rs 2,000 in the same hybrid fund.

Gradual entry through SIP helps reduce risk.

Monthly SIP Reallocation
You can invest up to Rs 25,000 monthly in SIPs.

You are currently investing Rs 15,500.

Increase SIPs by Rs 9,500 across suggested categories.

Here is a balanced approach for this:

Increase flexicap fund SIP by Rs 2,000.

Start fresh SIP in hybrid aggressive fund for Rs 2,000.

Start fresh SIP in a small cap fund for Rs 2,000.

Increase SIP in large and midcap fund by Rs 1,500.

Increase SIP in large cap fund by Rs 2,000.

This mix will offer growth and controlled volatility.

Key Strengths in Your Portfolio
You are consistent in SIP investments.

You have selected funds from different categories.

Your goals are clear and measurable.

You have stopped some SIPs but not exited impulsively.

You have stayed invested in equity through all phases.

Your risk profile is well aligned to your strategy.

Areas That Need Improvement
There is no allocation to hybrid or debt.

All current SIPs are in pure equity.

Portfolio lacks downside protection.

Small caps need to be handled cautiously.

Idle investments must be put to use.

SIP amount is under-utilised. You can invest more.

No automatic rebalancing mechanism is in place.

Future goals need better alignment with asset allocation.

Importance of Diversified Allocation
Equity is good for growth.

But combining it with hybrid gives better stability.

Flexicap and large & mid cap give market-wide coverage.

Small cap must be less than 10-15% of overall portfolio.

Hybrid funds manage asset mix smartly.

They reduce emotional decision-making in volatile markets.

Flexibility in funds increases long-term success.

Risk Management Suggestions
Equity funds carry market risk.

Small cap and mid cap have high volatility.

Avoid overexposure to one market cap.

Limit small cap exposure to 10-12% of total.

Maintain some investments in hybrid or balanced funds.

Don’t try to time the market.

Stay invested through ups and downs.

Review your portfolio once every 6 months.

Taxation Awareness
When selling equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemption only after checking tax impact.

Keep track of each fund’s holding period.

Avoid Direct Funds
You did not mention direct funds. But here is a key note.

Direct funds may look cheaper.

But they don’t offer guidance or support.

Investing through an MFD with CFP certification adds great value.

You get timely reviews, goal alignment and hand-holding.

Many investors lose more by mistakes in direct funds.

Avoid Index Funds
Index funds follow a passive strategy.

They just copy the market index.

No active selection or exit is done by the fund manager.

During market falls, index funds also fall without protection.

Actively managed funds aim for better risk-adjusted returns.

Good active funds can beat benchmarks consistently.

Next Steps to Follow
Reinvest idle funds into small cap and hybrid fund.

Start fresh SIPs of Rs 2,000 in each.

Increase existing SIPs to reach Rs 25,000 monthly.

Focus on flexicap, hybrid, large and midcap.

Keep small cap SIP under 15% of monthly SIP.

Stay invested with discipline for 10 years.

Don’t panic during market corrections.

Do portfolio review every 6 months.

Take guidance from Certified Financial Planner regularly.

Finally
You have built a good foundation.

You just need sharper planning now.

Your goals are possible with a better structure.

Rebalance idle investments.

Allocate monthly SIPs smartly.

Focus on stability, growth and discipline.

You are on the right track. Continue with focus and patience.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you further with custom planning.

Keep your financial journey goal-driven and well-monitored.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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