Mam I'm 27 and my partner is 30 , yes he is in good financial position, his family becakground is like us normal middle class jatt family and we are from teaching background brahman family, I have talked to them again last week they are saying he is low caste then us that's why they can't do that and also my sister think he is not good choice for me because his family live in village kind off area but they live in Agra normal area not like proper villages and he is not even forcing me to live there he is saying we will going to live in city because I have to work also and he is working he is saving up for buying flat for both of us , he is very understanding, suddenly today I know my sister say so many bad things about he used to do in college, she is married and they know each other from college but they were not close at all . My sister think they are not wealthy enough and my parents don't know that, now my mother knows I don't know what to do now , im going to talk to my mom about this situation. Please suggest how to talk to them to change there mind about casteism

Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your parents like giving their children a challenging time by exerting authority and then afterwards giving in to prove that they yielded and are such good people. It may sound pretty mean, but a lot many people play this power struggle games simply to win favors. This happens in the relationship sphere in homes and work spaces.
Now, in this case, your parents may or may not come around BUT seeing the way they accepted your marriage, give your brother's situation a bit of a pause. This will help your parents know that no one is going to beg and plead them and then let them have the pleasure of saying YES.
It will also enable you and your brother to work in the background as to how to make the girls' side of the family and your parents to meet. So, take a bit of a backseat that will also aid in letting your parents breathe. Wait it out a bit and then work with your parents gently to address their concerns and then eventually make the parents meet. A bit of patience...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/