Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Can my family build a 25-30 crore corpus in 20 years?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sudarshan Question by Sudarshan on Dec 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Thank you, sir, for your reply. I was travelling; hence, I could not reply. I have recalibrated my portfolio and investments according to your advice. In the previous thread, I referred to my individual investments only. In this follow-up thread, I would like to clarify whether we are on the right track as a family (My mom, wife and I). While the three of us have independent sources of income, we make financial decisions together as a family. Our total corpus is around 8.5 cr: 5.47 cr (MF + FD + LIC + PF + PPF) + 3 cr approximately in Gold. My mom invests in Gold (100 gm annually) + Silver (1.5 kg/year) + FD + RD (around 25,000/month). My mom is 78, with adequate health insurance and no liability. Is this the correct investment strategy for her? Much like my mom, my wife has been conservative in her investments. However, she has started investing 50,000 INR/month in Mutual Funds (Nippon Large Cap and Motilal Oswal Midcap). Thus, my wife and I are investing around 1.7 lakh/month in MF and shares. Is this a bit risky, given we are both 46? As I mentioned, we are striving to build a corpus of 25 - 30 cr in the next 20 years.

Ans: Your family's combined strategy is robust, with diversified investments across assets. For your mother, gold, silver, and safe fixed-income options suit her risk profile. For you and your wife, allocating Rs 1.7L monthly to mutual funds is not overly risky at 46, given your long-term horizon. However, ensure proper diversification and align goals with risk tolerance. Consult a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor for personalised advice.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2025

Money
Hi I am 35 years old working in an MNC into the Sales domain. My wife is 32 years of age, also working in the Sales domain. We do not have kids but planning for it within a year. We together earn 50-55 Lakh per year after taxes. We also have a total of 1 crore INR worth of vested RSU's. We pu together invest 1.5 per month in SIP's (60 Large Cap, 10 Mid Cap, 30 Small Cap). We have also invested in FD's, LIC policies etc which which is worth 10 Lakh maturing by 2031. We also have a total of close to 30 lakh in EPF. We have 2 apartment which is worth 1.2 cr. We wanted to know how safe is our investment strategy and how can we better it moving forward? Also if we want to retire by 50, what should be our savings and investment strategy?
Ans: You both earn well and invest consistently. That’s a great habit.

Let’s create a full financial strategy to help you retire by 50 and stay financially secure.

Let us plan every part step by step.

?

Understanding Your Current Position

?

You both are in a high-earning phase. It is the right time to invest more.

?

RSUs worth Rs. 1 crore give you a good buffer. But don’t rely only on this.

?

Your SIP of Rs. 1.5 lakh per month is a very strong start.

?

EPF of Rs. 30 lakh and LIC maturity in 2031 adds safety to your long-term planning.

?

Two flats worth Rs. 1.2 crore are part of your net worth. But don’t expect much return.

?

You have shared a goal to retire by 50. That gives you 15 years to build the right plan.

?

Planning for a child within a year means new expenses will come soon.

?

?

Review of Your Mutual Fund SIP Portfolio

?

You are doing Rs. 90K in large cap, Rs. 15K in mid cap, and Rs. 45K in small cap.

?

The small cap portion is high. That increases the risk.

?

In a retirement-focused plan, small cap should be under 20% of equity allocation.

?

Mid cap should be 30%. Large cap can be 50% or more.

?

High small cap exposure may lead to sharp losses in market corrections.

?

Shift 15K from small cap to large or mid cap, slowly over the next 6-9 months.

?

Stick with actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

?

Avoid direct plans. You may miss portfolio review, rebalancing, and goal tracking.

?

Regular funds with an MFD and CFP guide will give you better control and support.

?

?

FD and LIC Policy Review

?

Rs. 10 lakh is invested in LIC and FD maturing in 2031.

?

Check if your LIC policy is an investment product or pure term cover.

?

If it is a money-back or endowment plan, you should surrender it.

?

Surrender value should be reinvested in diversified mutual funds.

?

You can build more wealth through mutual funds than through LIC plans.

?

FD is okay for short-term parking. But not ideal for long-term wealth creation.

?

Don’t extend FD beyond 1-2 years unless it is an emergency buffer.

?

?

EPF Evaluation

?

Rs. 30 lakh in EPF is a good base for retirement planning.

?

Don’t withdraw EPF until full retirement. It is tax-free and grows steadily.

?

Even if job changes happen, transfer EPF, do not withdraw.

?

Do not treat EPF as a fallback for child education or marriage.

?

It is your core retirement capital. Let it grow undisturbed.

?

?

Review of RSUs and Equity Exposure

?

RSUs are risky if your company stock goes down. You are also employed there.

?

Sell 25% of vested RSUs every year and invest in mutual funds.

?

This gives you diversification and reduces company concentration risk.

?

Many employees ignore this and get affected if stock prices fall suddenly.

?

Treat RSU value as bonus and shift to long-term investments.

?

?

Asset Allocation Strategy

?

You need a clear ratio between equity, debt, and cash.

?

You can follow 65% in equity, 25% in debt, 10% in liquid or short term.

?

Adjust this every year based on your changing goals.

?

Equity can include mutual funds and stocks from RSU proceeds.

?

Debt can be PPF, debt mutual funds, EPF, and fixed income options.

?

Liquid can be FD or liquid funds for emergency or upcoming use.

?

Rebalancing yearly helps in keeping the risk under control.

?

?

Emergency Fund and Insurance Needs

?

Keep at least Rs. 6 to 8 lakh in an emergency fund.

?

Use liquid funds or short-term FD for this.

?

Buy term life insurance of Rs. 2 crore for each of you.

?

Buy health insurance of Rs. 10 lakh floater policy for the family.

?

These covers will give peace of mind when you have children.

?

Don’t depend on employer cover alone. Take your own private policies.

?

?

Children Planning and Future Goals

?

Having a child brings new costs for education, medical, and lifestyle.

?

Start SIP in mutual funds for education goal from year one itself.

?

Monthly SIP of Rs. 10,000 to Rs. 15,000 will help build an education corpus.

?

For marriage, start a SIP separately after 3 years.

?

Keep goal-wise funds separate. Don’t mix it with retirement or RSUs.

?

This will help you track progress better.

?

?

Retirement Planning to Retire at 50

?

You both are 35 and 32. You want to retire in 15 to 18 years.

?

You need to plan for 40 years of retirement after that.

?

Use current savings, SIPs, EPF, and RSUs to create a retirement fund.

?

You will need Rs. 7 to 8 crore in current value to retire comfortably.

?

Adjust this for inflation and target at least Rs. 12 crore by age 50.

?

Your current SIP of Rs. 1.5 lakh is a strong start.

?

Try to increase it by 8% to 10% every year.

?

Add bonus, RSU proceeds, or surplus to your retirement corpus every year.

?

Use a Certified Financial Planner to create a goal-based retirement strategy.

?

Don’t rely only on SIP. You need a full plan including withdrawal strategy after retirement.

?

?

Handling Real Estate

?

You own two flats worth Rs. 1.2 crore.

?

These can be used for self-usage. But not as investment return tools.

?

Don’t expect these to fund your retirement.

?

You cannot liquidate easily. Returns are low. Maintenance cost is high.

?

Stay away from further real estate purchases.

?

Use mutual funds for long-term wealth building.

?

?

Tax Planning and Capital Gains Awareness

?

Mutual funds have new capital gains rules from April 2024.

?

Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

?

STCG on equity mutual funds is taxed at 20%.

?

For debt mutual funds, LTCG and STCG are taxed as per income slab.

?

Plan your redemptions wisely to reduce tax burden.

?

Withdraw during years when income is low, like during sabbatical or early retirement.

?

Use a tax-saving mutual fund (ELSS) to save under Section 80C if needed.

?

?

Yearly Review and Portfolio Rebalancing

?

Every year, sit with a Certified Financial Planner and review your full portfolio.

?

Check your SIP performance. Shift from underperforming funds.

?

Rebalance between equity and debt if market grows or corrects sharply.

?

Check goal progress and increase SIP if required.

?

Update insurance needs, emergency fund, and lifestyle changes.

?

Keep your financial plan flexible and updated.

?

?

Future Income Planning and Passive Sources

?

Think of part-time income or freelance income after retirement.

?

You can explore consultancy or mentorship in your sales domain.

?

This adds extra safety and cash flow post-retirement.

?

Plan your lifestyle to be modest and cost-effective after 50.

?

Avoid costly hobbies, loans, or luxury plans post-retirement.

?

Keep your withdrawal rate under control.

?

?

Finally

?

You are earning well. Your savings habits are excellent.

?

RSUs, SIPs, and EPF give you a solid foundation.

?

Real estate should be kept as usage-only, not investment.

?

Reduce small cap exposure slowly. Stick to active mutual funds via CFP.

?

Surrender LIC investment plans. Invest that in good mutual funds.

?

Build separate SIPs for child education, marriage, and retirement.

?

Increase SIPs every year. Redeem RSUs yearly to reduce risk.

?

Keep insurance and emergency fund updated.

?

With discipline and yearly review, you can retire by 50 peacefully.

?

Let a Certified Financial Planner help you optimise and stay on track.

?

Best Regards,
?
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
?
Chief Financial Planner,
?
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2025

Money
Hi I am 35 years old working in an MNC into the Sales domain. My wife is 32 years of age, also working in the Sales domain. We do not have kids but planning for it within a year. We together earn 50-55 Lakh per year after taxes. We also have a total of 1 crore INR worth of vested RSU's. We pu together invest 1.5 per month in SIP's (60 Large Cap, 10 Mid Cap, 30 Small Cap) and we have accumulated a corpus of 35 Lakh in SIP. We also own stocks worth 15 lakh. We have also invested in FD's, LIC policies etc which which is worth 10 Lakh maturing by 2031. We also have a total of close to 30 lakh in EPF. We have 2 apartment which is worth 1.2 cr. We wanted to know how safe is our investment strategy and how can we better it moving forward? Also if we want to retire by 50, what should be our savings and investment strategy?
Ans: You both are doing very well. Your income, savings and investment habits show great discipline.

Let’s now look at your current strategy, assess its safety, and build a 360° plan for retirement at age 50.

?

Income and Lifestyle Management

Your annual post-tax income is around Rs. 50–55 lakhs. That is a strong base.

?

Please try to maintain expenses within 40–45% of total income.

?

Keep lifestyle inflation under check. This protects long-term savings growth.

?

Avoid large loans or EMIs. Especially with retirement planned early.

?

If lifestyle inflates with income, wealth building will slow down.

?

Create a clear budget with savings goals first, expenses second.

?

Use surplus income mindfully. Direct it into goal-based investment buckets.

?

Review both your CIBIL scores. Keep them above 750 for financial flexibility.

?

Emergency Fund and Risk Protection

Emergency fund is very important. It should cover 6 months’ expenses.

?

Keep this in liquid mutual funds or sweep-in FD. Avoid idle cash.

?

Ensure both of you have health cover above Rs. 25 lakhs as a floater.

?

Include a Rs. 50–75 lakh personal health policy, not just employer coverage.

?

Take term insurance of Rs. 1.5–2 crore each. No returns needed. Pure cover.

?

Avoid investment-based insurance. They give poor returns with high costs.

?

LIC and ULIPs, if held, should be reviewed. Likely best to surrender.

?

Reinvest maturity from LIC into mutual funds via Certified Financial Planner.

?

Mutual Funds and SIP Allocation

Your SIP of Rs. 1.5 lakh/month is very strong and well-disciplined.

?

You invest Rs. 60K in large cap. That’s slightly high allocation.

?

Large caps give stable returns, but growth is slower than others.

?

Rs. 30K in small cap is fine. But monitor for volatility. Reduce if needed.

?

Rs. 10K mid cap can be increased slightly for better balance.

?

You may adjust to 40K large, 30K mid, 30K small, 50K flexi-cap.

?

Do not choose index funds. They lack flexibility during market falls.

?

Actively managed funds can control downside better than index funds.

?

Invest through regular plans via an MFD with CFP credential.

?

Avoid direct mutual fund plans. They lack handholding and strategy review.

?

Direct funds can reduce advisor support. Regular plans bring value through planning.

?

Maintain SIP discipline for the next 15 years. Returns will compound well.

?

EPF and Fixed Income Assets

You have Rs. 30 lakh in EPF. This is your stable long-term base.

?

Keep contributing to EPF. Don’t withdraw before retirement.

?

EPF gives safety and tax efficiency. A good hedge to equity volatility.

?

Rs. 10 lakh in FD and LIC is fine. But FDs reduce real value over time.

?

Returns after tax and inflation are usually negative.

?

Shift matured FD money to conservative mutual funds or hybrid debt funds.

?

These funds give better post-tax returns than FDs.

?

Monitor FD and LIC maturity plans. Redeploy into flexible and liquid assets.

?

Equity Stocks and RSUs

Rs. 15 lakh in direct stocks is manageable. Keep it under 10–15% of net worth.

?

Monitor RSU concentration. Rs. 1 crore is high exposure to one company.

?

Don’t let RSUs go above 20–25% of total net worth.

?

Periodically liquidate RSUs. Redeploy proceeds to mutual funds.

?

This reduces company-specific risk. Also helps in portfolio diversification.

?

Stock market investments should be reviewed yearly.

?

Avoid frequent trading. Long-term holding builds wealth.

?

RSU tax treatment must be understood clearly. Use CFP to plan tax-efficient exits.

?

Real Estate Ownership

You have 2 apartments worth Rs. 1.2 crore. That’s sufficient for living.

?

Do not invest further in real estate. Liquidity is low. Returns are slow.

?

Real estate ties up money for long and lacks flexibility.

?

Maintain these 2 houses. Don’t add more unless for own use.

?

Real estate should not be core of retirement corpus.

?

Use mutual funds and retirement-focused tools to build real wealth.

?

Child Planning and Future Responsibilities

As you plan for a child, prepare financially for education and care.

?

Begin a child education fund through dedicated mutual funds.

?

Create a SIP goal with 10–15 years target for college funding.

?

Review your term insurance coverage once child is born.

?

Prepare a will once child arrives. Nominate all your assets properly.

?

Begin Sukanya Samriddhi if girl child is born. Invest monthly for safety.

?

Keep child healthcare and schooling funds liquid and accessible.

?

Retirement Planning at Age 50

You want to retire by age 50. That gives you 15 years more to save.

?

Your savings rate is excellent. But retirement needs disciplined strategy.

?

First, estimate future expenses after retirement. Then add 5–6% inflation.

?

You will need 30–35 years of retired life fund.

?

Total retirement corpus must be built by age 50.

?

Create retirement buckets – Safety, Growth, Liquidity, Income.

?

EPF and PPF will form Safety.

?

Mutual funds will build Growth.

?

Conservative hybrid funds will give Liquidity.

?

SWP from mutual funds will support Income.

?

Don’t depend on rental income. Expenses may not match rental flow.

?

Review your mutual fund portfolio every 6 months.

?

Use XIRR to measure SIP performance.

?

Slowly move part of equity to hybrid or debt as you near 50.

?

Maintain equity till 45 years. After that, shift slowly to safety buckets.

?

Retirement planning must have tax efficiency, safety and liquidity.

?

Work with a Certified Financial Planner for regular check-ins.

?

Tax Management and Optimisation

Invest in NPS for extra Rs. 50,000 tax benefit. But don’t over-allocate.

?

NPS should not exceed 10–15% of retirement portfolio.

?

Equity mutual funds are taxed on gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year at 12.5%.

?

STCG is taxed at 20%. So avoid selling before 1 year if not needed.

?

Debt funds are taxed as per slab. Plan redemptions carefully.

?

Plan to stagger mutual fund exits in retirement to manage tax load.

?

Use HUF, senior citizen benefits and joint accounts to optimise taxes later.

?

Estate Planning and Asset Protection

Write a will for both spouses. Include all assets and nominations.

?

Make sure each asset has proper joint names or nominations.

?

Use separate lockers and record all documents securely.

?

Create a master asset list every year. Share with trusted family.

?

Use joint demat, joint mutual fund folios for smooth transmission.

?

Investment Risks and Safety Check

You are fairly safe currently. But exposure to company RSUs is high.

?

Real estate can reduce liquidity in case of emergency.

?

Direct stocks can give high risk and low returns if unmanaged.

?

Safety is stronger with balanced mutual funds and debt allocation.

?

Keep checking your portfolio balance every 6 months.

?

Use a Certified Financial Planner to assess asset quality and goal match.

?

Don’t use random online tips or short-term investment trends.

?

Create written goals with timelines and corpus targets.

?

Tag each investment to a specific goal like child education, retirement, etc.

?

Review Strategy for Next 15 Years

Stay on SIP mode till at least age 45–47.

?

Reduce equity only slowly after that.

?

At 50, 30–40% in equity, 60% in debt and hybrid is safe mix.

?

Don’t try to beat markets. Be consistent with strategy.

?

Prioritise peaceful, stress-free retired life over highest returns.

?

Plan early exits from RSUs and stock holdings for safety.

?

Avoid property investments or large loans from now on.

?

Include health, insurance and emergency buffers in all plans.

?

Make financial reviews a yearly habit.

?

Automate savings. Manual investing leads to delays.

?

Finally

You both have built a strong base. Savings, equity exposure and SIPs are in place.

?

The next steps are discipline, de-risking, tax-efficiency and goal tagging.

?

Early retirement is achievable if you continue current pace and correct excess risks.

?

Work closely with a Certified Financial Planner for yearly strategy correction.

?

Make retirement peaceful and planned. Not reactive or rushed.

?

This is possible. You are already ahead of most.

?

Keep your focus. Avoid unnecessary complexity.

?

Build clarity, safety and long-term wealth. That’s the goal.

?

Best Regards,
?
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
?
Chief Financial Planner,
?
www.holisticinvestment.in
?
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Sep 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2025Hindi
Money
I would like your guidance on our retirement and investment strategy. Here is a snapshot of our current situation: Family: I am 45, my wife is 41, and we have one son aged 8 years. Profession: Both of us are working in IT in Bangalore with a combined take-home of approx. ₹9 lakhs per month. Our salaries are almost same. Assets: Loan-free residential flat. Site/plot with a current market value of ~₹1.5 crore. Bank FD of 1 cr, Shares worth ~₹1 crore (demat). Mutual funds worth ~₹35 lakhs. I've Term Insurance - 2 cr. Combined LIC, and other policies with retirement benefits worth 1.5 cr. Combined PF with current value 1 cr. Ongoing Investments: SIPs of ~₹2.5 lakhs/month. Recurring bank deposits of ~₹2.5 lakhs/month. Goals: My wife would like to retire in the next 3 years, while I may retire in about 5 years. We want to ensure adequate financial security for our family, including our son’s education and future needs, while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle post-retirement.
Ans: Hi,

Things sound good on paper. Let us analyse them here one by one:

- 1 crore bank FD. Good to go. But can reduce it to 75 lakhs and redirect 25 lakhs to mutual funds to fund your retirement. 75 lakhs can be treated as your emergency fund.
- Term Insurance of 2 crores for you is good. Your wife should also have some term insurance worth 1 to 1.5 crores.
- Health insurance - make sure it is in place before you guys retire. Take a base policy of about 25 lakhs along with a super top up of 1 crore.
- Is your RD of 2.5 lakhs linked to a particular goal? If no, can stop it and redirect the same to build your retirement portfolio in hybrid mutual funds.
- LIC - not sure if that is a good option as usually these policies generate an XIRR of 4-5% which is even less than FD. You need to explore other option which gives you better returns.
- Residential EMI free property and land provides you security and a rent-free retirement/ future.
- 1 crore worth demat shares - amazing if you have researched well. If you are considering retirement and do not know much about market and research, can liquidate 50% of these to fund your retirement in the form of mutual funds.
- 2.5 lakhs SIP for 5 years along with current 35 lakhs MFs can give you 2.3 crores for your retirement.

Post retirement - after 5 years, your immediate expenses can be taken care by your PF which will fund your life for 5 years.
In the meantime, your entire portfolio can be redesigned into a mix of debt, hybrid and equity funds which can help in a comfortable retired life.

25 lakhs from your FD can be invested in equity funds for your kids higher education. In addition, can invest 1 lakh per month from your RD towards this goal.

Let me know if you need any more help. Also it would be great for you to consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact financial plan for you with fund names in it to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements and risk profile.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 29, 2025

Money
Namaste! I am 33 yr old man, and my wife 30 yrs Both are salaried. I started investing in mutual funds when I was 25 yrs, starting as small as 1k per month then and I fine tune my portfolio semi-annually. Now currently I finalized these funds and they have been running since 1+ year with no change. Approx total fund corpus would be around 22 lacs. Our Details - Combined Household Income: 2.45L per month Husband: 1.15L Wife: 1.30L Annual Bonuses: separate payout Husband: 2L (Feb) Wife: 2.55L per year (quarterly payouts) --- Expenses Fixed: ~1.00L (home loan EMI, parental support, domestic help, groceries, utilities, commute, misc) Optional: ~15K (entertainment, shopping) Total Expenses: ~1.15L --- Investments (Monthly Active) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap – Equity Flexi – 10,000 (+100 per month) – Goal: Child Education ICICI Large and Mid Cap – Equity Large and Mid – 3,000 (+10 percent every 6 months) – Goal: Child Education Quant Small Cap – Equity Small Cap – 2,500 (+25 per month) – Goal: House Renovation (3–5 yrs) Quant Multi Asset Fund – Multi Asset – 3,000 – Goal: Dream SUV (2–3 yrs) Edelweiss European Dynamic – International Equity – 2,000 – Goal: Global Diversification HDFC NIFTY G-Sec 2036 – Debt G-Sec – 4,000 (+50 per month) – Goal: Retirement Stability ICICI Gold Savings – Gold – 3,500 (+35 per month) – Goal: Hedge Protection Nippon Liquid Fund – Liquid – 5,000 – Goal: Emergency Fund HDFC Flexi Cap – Equity Flexi – 5,000 – Goal: International Vacation PPF EPF (Combined) – Debt Govt Savings – 20,000 – Goal: Retirement Safety NPS Tier 1 – Retirement Pension – ~4,167 (50k per year) – Goal: Retirement Total Monthly Investments: ~58.2K --- Positioning Income: 2.45L Expenses: 1.15L Investments: 58.2K Surplus: 72K per month --- Current Asset Allocation (by monthly flow) Equity (Domestic + International): 66 percent Debt (PPF EPF + G-Sec + NPS): 24 percent Gold: 6 percent Liquid Emergency: 4 percent --- Key Points for Context Only one EMI (Home Loan), no other loans running. No vehicle currently, Uber is convenient. Future SUV purchase goal is funded through a dedicated Multi Asset Fund SIP. Life Insurance and Term Insurance both provided via respective offices (for both husband and wife). Emergency Fund: SIP ongoing, plan to increase in future. Surplus 72K per month available for further deployment. --- How do you view this portfolio? Currently, we have a monthly surplus of 72K after expenses and investments. Where should we prioritize deploying this surplus?
Ans: First, let me appreciate both of you. You started investing at an early age. You fine-tuned your portfolio with discipline. You have clear goals for each investment. Your surplus management is excellent. Most young families do not maintain this balance. You are already on a strong foundation.

» Current Portfolio Strength
Your portfolio shows clarity. You have mapped every SIP to a goal. Equity is mainly for long-term growth. Debt is chosen for retirement stability and safety. Gold adds hedge. Liquid fund is reserved for emergencies. This mapping shows maturity. It also avoids random investing.

» Asset Allocation Balance
Current allocation is 66% equity, 24% debt, 6% gold, 4% liquid. For your age, equity tilt is appropriate. It supports long-term compounding. Debt exposure through PPF, EPF, and G-Sec gives stability. Gold is kept moderate, which is good. Liquidity is available but can be strengthened more.

» Strength in Goal Mapping
You have connected SIPs with clear goals. Child education, house renovation, SUV, vacation, retirement, and emergency—all are addressed. This approach reduces confusion. It also builds emotional comfort. When markets are volatile, you will not panic. Because you know the purpose behind each fund.

» Surplus of Rs.72K per Month
Your biggest strength now is high surplus. After expenses and current SIPs, Rs.72K remains free. This is a powerful amount. Deployed wisely, it can multiply wealth quickly. At your age, consistent investing of surplus will create financial independence faster.

» Emergency Fund Priority
Your liquid fund SIP is only Rs.5,000 monthly. Current corpus seems small compared to expenses. At least 6 to 9 months of expenses should be ready. That means around Rs.7 lakh to Rs.10 lakh. Strengthening this fund should be your first step. Surplus can be partly directed here until target is met.

» Insurance Protection Review
You mentioned employer-provided life and term insurance. Office cover is not enough. Once you leave job, cover stops. You must buy personal term insurance individually. This secures family if something happens. Health insurance beyond office cover is also important. Family floater plan is necessary. Surplus can be partly used for proper cover.

» Short-Term Goals and Risk
Your SUV and house renovation goals are in 2–5 years. You are currently using multi-asset and small-cap funds for these goals. That creates risk. Short-term money should not depend heavily on equity or small-cap volatility. Better to shift these goals to hybrid or short-duration debt funds. Surplus can be used to gradually realign. This reduces chance of loss when goal arrives.

» Retirement Planning Strength
You already invest through PPF, EPF, NPS, and G-Sec fund. This gives a solid debt base for retirement. Adding some diversified equity fund SIP from surplus can create growth. Since retirement is far away, equity compounding will help more than debt. But keep debt as anchor. The mix is already strong, so only mild adjustments are needed.

» Child Education Planning
Your main equity SIPs are for child education. Education costs rise higher than inflation. Starting early is wise. Current SIPs are reasonable, but surplus can be used to top up. At least one dedicated debt-oriented SIP for this goal should also run. It ensures stability when you near the goal.

» Use of Annual Bonuses
Both of you receive good bonuses. These can be linked to specific goals. For example, husband’s bonus can go towards house loan prepayment. Wife’s bonus can go towards long-term investments. Bonus money should not go to random spending. Goal-based use will strengthen financial future.

» Surplus Deployment Strategy
Here is how the Rs.72K surplus can be deployed:
– Build emergency fund faster until at least Rs.8 lakh is ready.
– Buy independent term insurance and health cover.
– Realign SUV and renovation goals to safer funds.
– Allocate some surplus to increase child education SIPs.
– Use part for extra retirement SIPs in equity funds.
– Keep a portion as flexible bucket for travel or lifestyle upgrades.

» Importance of Personal Insurance Outside Office
Employer cover is temporary. After job change or retirement, it ends. Buying term insurance early is cheaper. Health insurance also costs less when bought young. Surplus allows you to secure these now without pressure.

» Why Not Index Funds for You
You have wisely chosen actively managed funds. Many investors run behind index funds thinking of low cost. But index funds cannot beat the market. They keep poor companies too. They cannot adjust to cycles. Actively managed funds can select better opportunities. For your goals, actively managed funds give better control.

» Why Not Direct Funds for You
You have already shown discipline in reviews. But still, direct funds come with hidden risks. Without expert handholding, portfolio may drift over time. A Certified Financial Planner with mutual fund distributor license ensures regular review. Mistakes are reduced. Long-term growth remains steady. Regular plan may look costly, but it saves from big blunders.

» Debt Allocation Refinement
Current debt exposure is mostly government-linked. That is safe, but returns may be modest. You can add some corporate bond funds or medium-term debt for balance. This gives better yield without taking extreme risk. Surplus can be partly used here.

» Gold Allocation Check
Gold is only 6% now. That is enough for hedge. Do not increase too much. Gold is not a growth asset. It protects during crisis. Keeping it below 10% is good. Surplus should not go into gold further.

» Liquid Fund Expansion
Emergency fund SIP is ongoing. But in addition, you can park part of surplus directly in liquid fund. This builds faster corpus for emergencies. Once target is achieved, redirect that portion of surplus back into long-term SIPs.

» Home Loan Repayment Angle
Your EMI is already running. If interest rate is high, some bonus can be used for prepayment. But do not rush. Tax benefit on loan interest is useful. Balance between repayment and investment should be maintained. Certified Financial Planner can calculate exact balance for you.

» Lifestyle and Enjoyment
Surplus gives freedom. But you are already investing 58K monthly. From 72K surplus, at least 10% can be kept for lifestyle goals. International vacation fund can be topped up. Experiences also matter along with wealth. Balance both.

» Review and Monitoring
Review portfolio once in a year. Do not over-monitor monthly NAVs. Stick to goals. Check asset allocation, insurance cover, emergency fund, and debt-equity balance. Make small corrections. Discipline matters more than chasing top returns.

» Family and Future Planning
You are young now. In future, children’s needs, parents’ healthcare, and lifestyle costs will rise. Plan for these in advance. Surplus should also build healthcare fund. Medical inflation is rising faster than normal inflation. Keeping a separate healthcare corpus is wise.

» Finally
Your portfolio is already strong and well-structured. Surplus of Rs.72K gives flexibility to strengthen weak areas. First, build emergency fund. Then buy own insurance. Next, adjust short-term goals to safer funds. After that, use surplus for child education and retirement. Keep lifestyle allocation small but steady. With discipline, your financial independence can come much earlier than most.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, This is a query regarding investment and financial planning. I am 44 years old and own a property in Bangalore valued at ₹1.4 crore. The home loan was taken 4.5 years ago for ₹90 lakh, and I have repaid ₹50 lakh towards the principal. The current outstanding principal is ₹40 lakh. My mutual fund and stock investments total around ₹35 lakh, which is just enough to close the loan. I have stopped all SIPs and am currently focusing on closing the home loan. Additionally, I hold a term insurance plan of ₹1.5 crore and a health insurance policy with coverage of ₹15 lakh. My son is 8 years old, and I have an LIC policy for his higher education, where I invest ₹10,000 per month. This policy will yield ₹50 lakh when he turns 20. I am also investing ₹75,000 per annum in the HDFC Pension Plus plan, which I intend to continue until retirement. My monthly salary is ₹1.75 lakh, and my wife earns ₹1 lakh. She contributes ₹1 lakh annually to an LIC plan, ₹10,000 to NPS (monthly), and ₹10,000 to mutual funds (monthly). She started invest in 2025. She is 40yrs old. Our major expenses include the home loan EMI (50k/month), car loan (20k/month), school fees (2 lakh/annum), and other household costs. After all expenses, we have approximately ₹1.1 lakh left each month. I wish to invest this amount in a diversified portfolio for the next 17-20 years. Objectives: 1. Build a retirement corpus 2. Create funds for my child’s marriage 3. 1 Domestic and one internation tour from 2030 onwards. I want to open an HUF and inculcate the habit of investment in my kid. Should i open a MF / FD in the name of my son and put 5k monthly ? Please suggest an appropriate allocation strategy for this ₹1 lakh monthly investment in HFU, my portfolio and kids investment fund.
Ans: Hi,

Your overall financials look good. I will definitely help you wrt your query. Let us have a look one by one.

Your current investments include:
1. Stocks and mutual fund portfolio - 35 lakhs
2. LIC Policy for son's education - 50 lakhs after 12 years; contributing 10k permonth now
3. HDFC Pension Plus plan - 75k per annum investment (till retirement)
Although LIC and Pension Plan's does not offer much return (LIC gives an annual return of 4-5% and pension plans gives approx 6-7% annual return), but you have no other option other than continuing as these are locked in plans.
But refrain from buying any such policy and plan in future.

Home Loan - principal left - 40 lakhs. Repaying it using your investments is not a wise decision. Pay EMI as per original tenure only as your interest for this loan is around 8.5% on a reducing basis. But you will earn around 12% on your investments of 35 lakhs. Hence keep your investments as is and pay only EMIs.

Monthly houshold income - 2.75 lakhs and expenses around 1.75 lakh per month. You are left with 1.1 lakh after each month.
- You are looking for investment options for this extra 1.1 lakhs for your retirement, son's marriage and travel goal.
>> Best way to park your excess 1.1 lakh is into aggressive mutual fund portfolio which will cater to your 3 financial goals as discussed above. Invest 50k for your retirement; 30k for kids marriage and 30k for travel goal.

You should also continue old SIPs in addition to this and build a strong MF portfolio to take care of your future. You can work with a professional who will make a detailed investment plan for you to invest in mutual funds wrt to your financial goals. An expert periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.
And refrain from buying any new policy or plan with a locked in money. These policies are generally of no use.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x