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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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I have shortlisted these funds from my research and planning to invest as lumpsum in 6 to 8 months for a long term i.e. 8-10 year horizon. I am 54 years old. Kindly give your inputs Hdfc Focused 30 fund 20% Parag Parikh Flexicap fund 15% Quant Large & Midcap fund 15% ICICI Pru Nifty 200 Mom 30 index fund15% Motilal Oswal Midcap 150 index fund 15% Nippon India Smallcap 250 index fund 5% Motilal Oswal Microcap 250 index fund 5% Mirae Asset NYSE FANG+ ETF FoF 5%

Ans: Evaluation of Lumpsum Investment Portfolio

Strategic Portfolio Assessment

Your proposed investment portfolio reflects a diversified approach encompassing various mutual funds and exchange-traded funds (ETFs), tailored for a long-term horizon. Let's analyze each component and provide insights to optimize your investment strategy.

Assessing Fund Selection for Long-term Growth

The selection of funds demonstrates a blend of actively managed funds and index funds/ETFs, aiming to capture growth opportunities across different market segments. This diversified approach aligns well with your long-term investment horizon.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds, such as HDFC Focused 30 Fund and Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund, offer the potential for higher returns through active stock selection and portfolio management. These funds leverage fund manager expertise to capitalize on market opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds and ETFs

While index funds and ETFs provide cost-effective exposure to broad market indices, they may underperform actively managed funds during certain market conditions. Additionally, index funds lack flexibility in portfolio composition and may not fully capture market inefficiencies.

Optimizing Fund Allocation

Consider rebalancing your portfolio to ensure optimal allocation across different market segments. While large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds offer diversification across market capitalizations, index funds and ETFs provide exposure to specific market indices.

Risk Management Considerations

Given your age and investment horizon, prioritize funds with a track record of consistent performance and risk-adjusted returns. Evaluate the risk-reward profile of each fund and ensure alignment with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Monitoring and Review

Regularly monitor the performance of your portfolio and review fund selection periodically. Assess any changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial objectives to make informed decisions regarding portfolio adjustments.

Conclusion

Your proposed investment portfolio demonstrates a well-thought-out approach to long-term wealth accumulation. By blending actively managed funds with index funds/ETFs, you can leverage the strengths of both approaches and optimize portfolio returns while managing risk effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

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I have invested 10L in Mutual Fund through Lumpsum mode. The 4 schemes which I have invested in are PPFAS FLEXI CAP REG-G (2.5L), ICICI PRU equity & Debt-G (2.2L), ICICI PRU Large & Mid Cap-G (2.2L), SBI long term Equity Reg-G (2L), SBI contra -G (1.10L). Investment objective is long term wealth creation and time frame is 15 years. Kindly Suggest if choice of funds is good and what could be potential return.
Ans: Let's review your mutual fund choices and assess their suitability for your long-term wealth creation goal.

Current Investment Overview
Total Investment: Rs 10 lakhs
Investment Mode: Lumpsum
Time Frame: 15 years
Fund Allocation
PPFAS Flexi Cap Reg-G: Rs 2.5 lakhs
ICICI Pru Equity & Debt-G: Rs 2.2 lakhs
ICICI Pru Large & Mid Cap-G: Rs 2.2 lakhs
SBI Long Term Equity Reg-G: Rs 2 lakhs
SBI Contra-G: Rs 1.1 lakhs
Evaluation of Fund Choices
PPFAS Flexi Cap Reg-G
Flexibility: Invests across market capitalizations and sectors.
Potential: Good for capturing diverse market opportunities.
Long-Term Suitability: Suitable for long-term wealth creation.
ICICI Pru Equity & Debt-G
Balanced Approach: Mix of equity and debt.
Stability: Provides a cushion against market volatility.
Long-Term Suitability: Suitable for balancing risk and returns.
ICICI Pru Large & Mid Cap-G
Growth Potential: Invests in large and mid-cap companies.
Risk-Return Balance: Good for capturing growth in established and growing companies.
Long-Term Suitability: Suitable for long-term capital appreciation.
SBI Long Term Equity Reg-G
ELSS Fund: Offers tax benefits under Section 80C.
Equity Focus: High equity exposure for potential high returns.
Long-Term Suitability: Suitable for long-term wealth creation with tax benefits.
SBI Contra-G
Contrarian Strategy: Invests in undervalued stocks.
Potential: Can yield high returns if the strategy pays off.
Long-Term Suitability: Suitable for long-term investors willing to take higher risks.
Potential Returns
Assuming an average conservative annual return of 10-12% for a diversified portfolio, your potential return over 15 years could be significant. However, mutual funds are subject to market risks, and actual returns may vary.

Recommendations
Diversification: Your portfolio is well-diversified across different fund types and strategies, which is good for risk management.

Fund Performance Review: Regularly review the performance of your funds. Consider reallocating if any fund consistently underperforms its benchmark.

Stay Invested: For long-term wealth creation, stay invested for the entire 15-year period to benefit from compounding.

Avoid Index Funds: Actively managed funds like yours can potentially offer better returns than index funds.

Additional Considerations
Regular Monitoring: Keep an eye on your portfolio and the market trends.
Certified Financial Planner: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and adjustments.
Final Insights
Balanced Portfolio: Your fund choices provide a good mix of growth, stability, and potential tax benefits.
Long-Term Focus: Stay focused on your long-term goal and avoid frequent changes based on short-term market fluctuations.
Potential for Growth: With disciplined investing and regular monitoring, your portfolio has the potential to achieve significant growth over 15 years.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I’m a beginner to mutual fund and stock market investment. I’m 39 year old and recently started SIP by own. Now my portfolio has 9 different direct mutual funds. I know I should diversify and rebalance my portfolio.. 1) Now I have some quantitative money to invest as lump-sum (3.5 lakhs). So howmany funds I should choose? 2) Is this right time (market downtime as on 31st Oct 2024) invest as lump-sum? 3) Could you please help me with some mutual fund names with good returns over a period of 5 to 10 years? I chose below funds... - Quant Smallcap - ?Motilal Oswal Midcap - ?SBI Contra Fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - ?Nippon India Multicap fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty 200 Momentum 30 Index Fund - ?Parag Parikh Flexicap fund Please advise. Thank you
Ans: You’ve taken an excellent step by beginning your journey into mutual funds and stock markets. Diversifying and rebalancing your portfolio is indeed important, and your current enthusiasm for learning and improving your financial health is admirable. I’ll help you answer your questions and outline an optimal approach to maximise returns while managing risk.

Assessing Your Current Mutual Fund Portfolio
Your existing portfolio of nine direct mutual funds reflects your willingness to diversify. However, managing too many funds can lead to overlap and complexities in tracking performance. Here’s a more streamlined approach that ensures you achieve effective diversification without unnecessary fund overlap.

Limit to Essential Fund Categories: Aim to retain only 4-5 core categories. These include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to contra or sectoral funds for tactical growth.

Avoid Index Funds in This Case: Index funds replicate the market and lack active management, which may limit gains, especially during volatile market phases. Actively managed funds allow skilled fund managers to optimise performance based on market trends.

Reconsider Direct Funds: Investing through regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps you benefit from professional guidance. While direct funds save on distributor fees, they require significant knowledge and time to monitor effectively. An MFD with CFP credentials will help you align your investments with both market trends and personal goals.

Investment Strategy for Your Lump-Sum Amount
With Rs 3.5 lakhs to invest as a lump sum, your next steps are crucial for maximising returns.

1. Choosing the Right Number of Funds
Limit Fund Selection: For the Rs 3.5 lakh investment, focus on a manageable selection of 4-5 funds. Over-diversification may dilute returns without proportionate risk reduction.

Strategic Allocation: Allocate funds in a way that balances growth with stability. For example, allocate portions to large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, with a smaller allocation to a contra fund if you’re open to moderate risk.

Prioritise Active Funds over Passive Index Options: Actively managed funds allow professional adjustments in line with changing market conditions, aiming for higher returns over time.

2. Timing of Lump-Sum Investment
Market Timing vs. Systematic Approach: As markets can fluctuate unpredictably, consider a phased approach, such as a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP). This way, you can gradually move the lump sum from a low-risk fund to equity funds over a few months, reducing the risk of investing all at once during a downturn.

Assessing Current Market Levels: The market downtime you mentioned may appear tempting, but markets may take time to stabilise. By investing in phases, you mitigate risk while capitalising on potential market rebounds.

Suggested Mutual Fund Categories for Long-Term Growth
Since you’re aiming for a 5 to 10-year period, a well-structured portfolio with actively managed funds is crucial. I’ll avoid suggesting specific schemes and instead outline fund categories that align with your goals.

1. Large-Cap Funds for Stability
Why Large-Cap Funds? These funds invest in established companies, offering stability and consistent growth. Over time, they help anchor the portfolio, especially during market volatility.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate about 30-40% of your lump-sum investment to large-cap funds to ensure stability in your portfolio.

2. Mid-Cap Funds for Growth Potential
Mid-Cap Funds’ Role: Mid-cap funds balance stability with higher growth prospects. While they’re slightly more volatile than large-cap funds, they offer strong potential returns.

Ideal Allocation: Consider allocating 20-25% of your lump-sum investment to mid-cap funds to capture this growth.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds for Market Flexibility
Flexi-Cap Benefits: These funds provide flexibility by investing across large, mid, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions. This helps maximise growth potential while managing risk.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate around 25% of your lump-sum investment here. Flexi-cap funds give fund managers room to adapt the fund based on market trends.

4. Contra or Value Funds for Tactical Growth
Tactical Role of Contra Funds: Contra or value funds invest in undervalued stocks, aiming to capitalise when these stocks eventually rise. They add a contrarian growth element to the portfolio.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate a smaller portion, around 10-15%, to a contra fund to enhance returns while maintaining manageable risk.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
Understanding tax implications helps optimise net returns. Here’s a snapshot of the applicable taxes:

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh per annum are taxed at 12.5% for long-term capital gains (LTCG). Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed as per your income tax slab. If you include debt funds for a part of your portfolio, consider this in your tax planning.

Additional Recommendations to Strengthen Your Financial Position
1. Build an Emergency Fund
Maintain a separate emergency fund covering at least six months’ expenses. This fund acts as a safety net, ensuring you don’t need to dip into your investments for unforeseen expenses.
2. Term Insurance for Financial Security
Ensure adequate term insurance coverage, providing financial stability to your dependents in your absence. This policy type offers high coverage at low costs, making it an ideal safety net.
3. Health Insurance for Your Family
Having comprehensive health insurance prevents your investment corpus from being impacted by medical expenses. Check for policies that cover critical illnesses for robust coverage.
4. Review Portfolio Regularly with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner can help assess and adjust your portfolio as needed. Regular reviews allow you to stay aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.
5. Consider Goal-Based SIPs for Future Objectives
While your lump-sum investment supports wealth creation, consider setting up goal-based SIPs to address specific future goals, such as a child’s education or retirement.
Final Insights
Your commitment to long-term investment is commendable. With a structured approach and regular reviews, your portfolio can be geared for strong growth over the next 5-10 years. By focusing on actively managed funds, phased investments, and strategic fund selection, you’re well-positioned to achieve both security and growth.

For any further queries or detailed discussions, please feel free to reach out.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024Hindi
Money
I’m a beginner to mutual fund and stock market investment. I’m 39 year old and recently started SIP by own. Now my portfolio has 9 different direct mutual funds. I know I should diversify and rebalance my portfolio.. 1) Now I have some quantitative money to invest as lump-sum (3.5 lakhs). So howmany funds I should choose? 2) Is this right time (market downtime as on 31st Oct 2024) invest as lump-sum? 3) Could you please help me with some mutual fund names with good returns over a period of 5 to 10 years? I chose below funds... - Quant Smallcap - ?Motilal Oswal Midcap - ?SBI Contra Fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - ?Nippon India Multicap fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty 200 Momentum 30 Index Fund - ?Parag Parikh Flexicap fund Please advise. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see your interest in diversifying and balancing your portfolio. At 39, your long-term financial planning approach shows strong commitment. Here’s a detailed breakdown to guide your investment decisions and optimise your portfolio.

Reviewing Your Current Portfolio
You’ve chosen a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, contra, multicap, flexicap, and index funds. With nine funds, the portfolio seems diversified but might need some streamlining. This will avoid overlap and ensure that each fund plays a unique role in your portfolio.

Direct mutual funds do have a lower expense ratio, but direct plans require active monitoring and strategy. Opting for regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps ensure expert guidance and active oversight. Working with an MFD with CFP credentials offers personalised advice, rebalancing, and regular monitoring. This support can improve your portfolio’s performance and reduce the impact of market volatility.

Suggested Portfolio Size and Rebalancing
For a portfolio with Rs 3.5 lakh in lump sum investments, focus on quality over quantity:

Limit to 5-6 Core Funds: Too many funds can dilute returns. A well-chosen selection of 5-6 funds will ensure effective diversification.

Strategic Allocation by Fund Type:

Keep a core fund in each category, such as a flexicap, a mid-cap, and a small-cap.
Add a contra or multicap fund for added diversification.
Avoiding index funds in your portfolio is prudent for a few reasons. Index funds track the market but lack active management. During volatile or bearish market phases, index funds mirror market downturns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have fund managers who can make strategic decisions. They aim to deliver higher returns and better manage risk, especially in uncertain times.

Deciding the Right Time for Lump-Sum Investment
Currently, the market is experiencing a downtime. This can be an advantageous period for lump-sum investments, but cautious approach is advised:

Staggered Lump-Sum Investment: Instead of investing all Rs 3.5 lakhs at once, consider a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP). You can allocate the sum in a debt fund and transfer it in smaller amounts into equity funds over 6-12 months. This approach reduces market timing risk.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) for Remaining Investments: If you prefer regular SIPs, continue investing monthly. SIPs lower the risk by buying at different market levels over time, which reduces the impact of volatility.

Selecting Funds with Strong Long-Term Potential
Instead of naming specific funds, focus on categories with consistent, high-performing track records:

Flexicap Funds:

These funds adapt across market caps, balancing growth with stability.
Flexicap funds help manage risk by diversifying across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
Small-Cap and Mid-Cap Funds:

Small-cap and mid-cap funds bring higher returns potential.
However, small-caps are volatile, so balance their allocation with large or flexicap funds.
Contra Funds:

Contra funds invest against the popular market trend. This strategy can provide higher returns when market cycles turn.
Include a contra fund for diversification and possible gains during market recovery.
Multi-Cap or Large & Mid-Cap Funds:

These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks but focus more on larger stocks.
Multi-cap funds balance growth potential with stability, a prudent choice for medium-risk investors.
Streamlining Fund Choices and Reducing Overlap
Some of the funds in your current selection, like index-based funds, might have overlapping investments in large-cap or sector stocks. Overlap in holdings can dilute returns. Consider focusing on a unique fund for each category.

Avoid Excessive Small-Cap Exposure: While small-cap funds provide high returns, they also carry higher risk. A single, carefully selected small-cap fund is usually sufficient.

Opt for Active Management Over Index Funds: Actively managed funds can better navigate volatile markets. They aim to maximise returns by carefully selecting stocks, unlike index funds that passively track market indices.

Taxation of Mutual Fund Gains
Understanding mutual fund taxation is essential for maximising your returns:

Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab rate, so it’s wise to keep investments for the long term to maximise post-tax returns.

Setting Up a Monitoring and Review Process
Quarterly or Bi-Annual Review: Revisit your portfolio every few months. A CFP can guide you on this, helping make adjustments based on market and economic changes.

Avoid Frequent Switching: Stick to your selected funds to let them grow. Switching too often can incur exit loads and affect returns.

Final Insights
Your journey into mutual funds and stocks is exciting and full of potential. With a well-planned, diversified approach, you can steadily grow your investments and secure financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1026 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
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Career
I'm 18 years old and currently preparing for neet as a dropper student. I'm from bihar but I live in haryana since my childhood. I have a boyfriend, he is doing btech and it has been 1.5 years since we are together we love each other he supports me in everything but the problem here is I lied him about my birthplace and told him that I belong to UP as UP is a bit better place than bihar. Idk i just feel ashamed to tell anyone that I'm from bihar so I just tell everyone that I'm from UP. Now I'm feeling very guilty in my own that I lied to him about such a basic and important thing and yesterday he Also mentioned that his mother never want a bihari girl, and he is a punjabi. I just don't know what should I do how will he react after knowing the truth and also I'm afraid that he will broke up with me.. I'm also having my neet exam in 6 months. I planned that i will tell him after my exam but I'm just feeling too guilty that I'm hiding this thing from him
Ans: Hello.
Keep mum for the next 6-7 months. Keep a safe distance from your boyfriend. Focus only on NEET preparation. Try to excel in NEET. Wait till the results are out. If you score well and get admitted to Govt Medical College, then open up in front of your boyfriend. He and his family members will accept you because you are becoming a doctor! But after taking the NEET examination, if you feel that you can't score as expected, then tell the truth to your boyfriend. If he loves you from the bottom of his heart, he will forgive you. But if not. then you assume that god has saved you from him!
Last but not least:- Dedicate your 24 hours only for NEET preparation. This time will never come in your life again. You can be a KING in just a few days with solid preparation and will get lifelong respect in society. The bright future is in your hands and not in the hands of your boyfriend.
Best of luck with your upcoming NEET Examination.

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Thanks.

Radheshyam

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