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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2024Hindi
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I will retire from my job next year with Rs 1 crore and will get pension of Rs 40,000. I want atleast 70,000-80,000 per month in my hand. Please tell me how can i get?

Ans: Retirement Financial Planning for Sustained Income

Retirement is a significant milestone, and it's wonderful that you are preparing ahead. You have done well to amass a corpus of Rs 1 crore and secured a pension of Rs 40,000 per month. Let's evaluate how to achieve your goal of Rs 70,000 to Rs 80,000 per month.

Assessing Your Current Financial Situation

Your Rs 1 crore corpus is a substantial amount. Combining this with your Rs 40,000 monthly pension, you have a strong foundation. To bridge the gap between your pension and your monthly requirement, strategic investment is essential. We'll ensure your corpus generates the needed additional income while preserving the principal as much as possible.

Evaluating Investment Options

Various investment options can help generate monthly income. Fixed deposits, monthly income plans, and debt funds are among these. Each has its benefits and risks. The goal is to balance income generation with capital preservation.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)

FDs are a safe investment option. They offer guaranteed returns and are easy to manage. However, the interest rates might not always keep pace with inflation. Still, having a portion of your corpus in FDs can provide stability.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)

MIPs can be an attractive option. They offer a mix of equity and debt, providing moderate returns. These plans aim to give a regular monthly income, although the returns are not guaranteed. MIPs provide a good balance between growth and income.

Debt Funds

Debt funds invest in fixed income securities and can offer better returns than FDs. They are relatively safer than equity funds but carry some risk. Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) from debt funds can provide regular income while offering the potential for capital appreciation.

Diversification for Risk Management

Diversifying your investments is crucial. By spreading your corpus across different investment options, you can manage risk effectively. A mix of FDs, MIPs, and debt funds can provide a balance of safety, growth, and regular income.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual fund investments regularly. This method can provide the additional Rs 30,000 to Rs 40,000 per month you need. It helps in tax efficiency and maintaining the investment's longevity.

Considering Inflation

Inflation reduces the purchasing power of money over time. It's essential to choose investments that can potentially offer returns higher than the inflation rate. This approach ensures that your Rs 70,000 to Rs 80,000 monthly requirement remains sufficient in the future.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds can outperform index funds by leveraging professional fund managers' expertise. These managers can adjust the portfolio in response to market conditions, potentially providing better returns. Actively managed funds can thus help in achieving higher income from your investments.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds track a specific index and cannot outperform it. They lack the flexibility to react to market changes. This limitation can lead to lower returns compared to actively managed funds. Therefore, actively managed funds may be a better choice for your needs.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds

Regular funds come with the added benefit of a Certified Financial Planner's expertise. Direct funds may seem cheaper but lack professional guidance. Regular funds ensure that your investments are well-managed, aligned with your goals, and adjusted as needed.

Tax Planning

Effective tax planning is crucial for maximising your retirement income. Investments like debt funds and MIPs have different tax implications. A Certified Financial Planner can help structure your investments to minimise tax liability and maximise net income.

Emergency Fund

Maintaining an emergency fund is vital. This fund should cover at least six months of your expenses. It ensures that you do not need to dip into your investment corpus for unforeseen expenses.

Periodic Review

Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio is important. Market conditions and personal circumstances change, and your investment strategy should adapt accordingly. This practice ensures that your investments continue to meet your income requirements.

Conclusion

You have made a commendable start towards securing your retirement. With careful planning and strategic investments, achieving your monthly income goal is within reach. Balancing safety, income, and growth is the key to a financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Money
Hi, I am 52 and I have 1.35 Crores in FD, 52 Lakhs in PPF, 12 Lakhs in NPS, 20 Lakhs in MF through SIP, 16 Lakhs in EPF and 50 Lakhs in Equities and 10 Lakhs in Sovereign Gold Bonds. I want to get 2 Lakhs Per month till the age of 80 If i live that long. How can I get the same?
Ans: Your disciplined approach to saving and investing is impressive. At 52, you have a well-diversified portfolio. Your goal is to receive Rs 2 lakhs per month until age 80, ensuring financial security. Let's explore a plan to achieve this.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Fixed Deposits (FDs)
You have Rs 1.35 crores in Fixed Deposits. FDs offer safety but lower returns compared to other investments. Consider reallocating a portion to higher-yielding investments.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
You have Rs 52 lakhs in PPF. PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits and decent returns. It’s a good component of your retirement corpus.

National Pension System (NPS)
You have Rs 12 lakhs in NPS. NPS provides pension income with tax benefits. It's a reliable source of retirement income.

Mutual Funds (MF) through SIP
You have Rs 20 lakhs in mutual funds via SIP. Mutual funds offer potential for higher returns, balancing risk and reward.

Employees' Provident Fund (EPF)
You have Rs 16 lakhs in EPF. EPF is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits, ideal for retirement.

Equities
You have Rs 50 lakhs in equities. Equities offer high growth potential but come with higher risk. Diversifying within equities can help manage this risk.

Sovereign Gold Bonds
You have Rs 10 lakhs in Sovereign Gold Bonds. These provide safety and act as a hedge against inflation, adding diversity to your portfolio.

Creating a Sustainable Withdrawal Plan
To generate Rs 2 lakhs per month, you need a sustainable withdrawal plan. Here’s a structured approach:

Assessing Monthly Income Requirement
You need Rs 24 lakhs annually. Considering inflation and longevity, your investments should provide consistent returns without depleting the principal prematurely.

Balancing Safety and Growth
A mix of safe and growth-oriented investments ensures stability and income. Maintain a balance between fixed-income instruments and equities.

Optimizing Fixed-Income Investments
Reallocating Fixed Deposits
Fixed Deposits can be partially reallocated to higher-yielding debt funds or hybrid funds. This shift can enhance returns while maintaining safety.

Leveraging PPF and EPF
PPF and EPF are secure with decent returns. Continue to hold these as they provide tax-free returns and capital safety.

Maximizing NPS Benefits
NPS provides a regular pension. Consider using a portion for annuity purchase upon retirement to ensure a steady income stream.

Enhancing Growth Through Equities and Mutual Funds
Active Management of Equities
Regularly review and rebalance your equity portfolio. Focus on blue-chip stocks and sectoral diversification to mitigate risks.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed mutual funds can outperform index funds. Fund managers actively make investment decisions to capitalize on market opportunities, potentially offering higher returns.

Diversification Within Mutual Funds
Diversify across different mutual funds, including equity, debt, and hybrid funds. This reduces risk and enhances return potential.

Strategic Use of Sovereign Gold Bonds
Sovereign Gold Bonds act as a hedge against inflation. Hold these bonds for their tenure to benefit from interest income and potential appreciation.

Creating a Withdrawal Strategy
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds. SWPs provide regular income while keeping your corpus invested, offering growth potential.

Laddering Fixed-Income Investments
Laddering involves staggering the maturities of fixed-income investments. This ensures liquidity and access to funds when needed, reducing interest rate risk.

Using Annuities for Steady Income
Convert a portion of NPS and other investments into annuities. Annuities provide guaranteed income, ensuring financial stability.

Addressing Inflation and Longevity Risk
Inflation-Adjusted Withdrawals
Account for inflation by adjusting your withdrawals annually. This ensures your purchasing power remains intact over time.

Longevity Planning
Plan for a longer retirement period. Ensure your portfolio can sustain withdrawals for at least 30 years, considering life expectancy and healthcare costs.

Professional Guidance and Regular Review
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP can provide personalized advice, helping optimize your investment strategy. They ensure your portfolio aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Regular Portfolio Review
Review your portfolio regularly. Monitor performance, make necessary adjustments, and stay informed about market trends and economic conditions.

Implementing the Plan
Steps to Start
Reallocate Fixed Deposits: Shift a portion to higher-yielding debt funds or hybrid funds.
Diversify Equities: Focus on blue-chip stocks and sectoral diversification.
Set Up SWP: Establish a systematic withdrawal plan from mutual funds.
Purchase Annuities: Convert part of NPS and other investments into annuities for steady income.
Consult a CFP: Get personalized advice and regular reviews.
Conclusion
Your well-diversified portfolio positions you well for a secure retirement. By reallocating some assets, balancing safety and growth, and setting up a systematic withdrawal plan, you can achieve your goal of Rs 2 lakhs per month. Regular reviews and professional guidance will ensure your plan remains on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 38 year old I have 20 lakh retirement date sept 2024 with 23000 pension after 10 year I need 2 CR how can I get
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Position
Firstly, congratulations on approaching retirement with a solid foundation. At 38 years old, having Rs 20 lakh in savings and a pension of Rs 23,000 per month starting in 10 years is commendable. Your goal of accumulating Rs 2 crore by retirement requires careful planning and disciplined investing.

Income Management
Effective income management is essential to achieve your financial goals. Let’s break down your current and future income streams.

Current Savings: You have Rs 20 lakh in savings. This is a substantial amount to start with.

Pension Income: You will receive Rs 23,000 per month starting in 10 years. This will help cover your basic living expenses.

Additional Savings: Continue to save and invest any surplus income. Aim to increase your savings rate as your income grows.

Careful income management ensures you have the funds needed for investments and future expenses.

Setting Clear Financial Goals
To accumulate Rs 2 crore by your retirement date in September 2024, you need to set clear financial goals. Here’s how you can approach it:

Target Amount: You need to grow your savings to Rs 2 crore in the next 16 years.

Investment Horizon: With 16 years to invest, you can take advantage of compounding growth.

Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance to choose appropriate investment vehicles.

Setting clear goals helps in creating a focused and effective investment strategy.

Investment Strategy
Achieving your goal of Rs 2 crore requires a well-diversified investment strategy. Let’s explore different investment options.

Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are an excellent way to diversify your investments and achieve long-term growth. Here’s how to approach mutual fund investments:

Diversified Portfolio: Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid mutual funds. This spreads risk and optimizes returns.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Consider starting a SIP to invest regularly. This reduces the impact of market volatility and ensures disciplined investing.

Active Management: Actively managed funds offer professional management and the potential to outperform passive funds. This can enhance your returns.

Regular Review: Review your mutual fund portfolio periodically. Ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Mutual funds provide diversification, professional management, and the potential for high returns, making them ideal for long-term goals.

Equity Investments
Equity investments can offer significant growth over the long term. Here’s how to approach equity investments:

Long-Term Focus: Focus on long-term investments rather than short-term trading. This allows you to benefit from the compounding effect.

Blue-Chip Stocks: Invest in blue-chip stocks with strong fundamentals and growth potential. These companies offer stability and consistent returns.

Diversification: Diversify your equity investments across different sectors. This reduces risk and capitalizes on various market opportunities.

Research and Analysis: Stay informed about market trends and company performance. Use this knowledge to make informed investment decisions.

Long-term equity investments can provide substantial growth, helping you reach your financial goals.

Fixed Deposits
Fixed deposits offer stability and guaranteed returns. However, they may not provide the high returns needed to reach your goal. Here’s how to use fixed deposits effectively:

Short-Term Needs: Use fixed deposits for short-term financial needs and emergencies. This ensures liquidity and capital protection.

Interest Rates: Ensure you get the best interest rates available. Compare rates from different banks and financial institutions.

Laddering Strategy: Use a laddering strategy by splitting your investment into multiple fixed deposits with different maturity dates. This provides regular liquidity and reduces interest rate risk.

Fixed deposits offer stability and can be part of your conservative investment strategy.

Gold Bonds
Gold bonds are a good hedge against inflation and currency devaluation. Here’s how to include gold bonds in your portfolio:

Diversification: Continue holding gold bonds as part of your diversified portfolio. They provide a safe investment avenue.

Tax Benefits: Gold bonds offer tax benefits on capital gains if held until maturity. This enhances your overall returns.

Hedge Against Inflation: Gold bonds protect against inflation, preserving your purchasing power over time.

Gold bonds add value to your portfolio by providing a stable and inflation-proof investment option.

Planning for Retirement
Planning for retirement is crucial to ensure financial independence in your later years. Here’s how to approach retirement planning:

Retirement Corpus: Aim to accumulate Rs 2 crore by your retirement date. This provides a substantial corpus to support your retirement lifestyle.

Pension Income: Your pension of Rs 23,000 per month will supplement your retirement corpus. This helps cover basic living expenses.

Withdrawal Strategy: Develop a withdrawal strategy to ensure your retirement corpus lasts throughout your retirement years. Consider withdrawing 4-5% of your corpus annually.

Healthcare Costs: Plan for healthcare costs in retirement. Consider investing in health insurance to cover medical expenses.

Effective retirement planning ensures financial security and peace of mind in your later years.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning maximizes your savings and investments. Here’s how to approach tax planning:

Tax-Saving Investments: Utilize Section 80C deductions through investments in PPF, ELSS, and NSC. This reduces your taxable income.

Health Insurance: Claim deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums for yourself and your family.

Home Loan Benefits: Use the tax benefits on home loan interest and principal repayments.

Consult a tax professional to optimize your tax-saving strategy.

Regular Financial Review
Regular financial reviews help in staying on track with your financial goals. Here’s how to approach financial reviews:

Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of your income, expenses, and investments. Adjust your strategy as needed.

Life Changes: Reassess your financial plan after major life events like a job change, a new child, or a significant investment.

Market Conditions: Stay updated with market conditions. Adjust your investment portfolio based on market trends and economic changes.

Regular reviews ensure your financial plan remains aligned with your goals.

Professional Guidance
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and expert guidance. Here’s how a CFP can help:

Financial Plan: A CFP can help create a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your needs.

Investment Advice: Benefit from their expertise in selecting and managing investments.

Goal Setting: Work with a CFP to set realistic financial goals and develop strategies to achieve them.

Professional guidance ensures you make informed financial decisions and achieve your financial objectives.

Financial Security for Your Family
Ensuring your family’s financial security is a top priority. Here’s how to approach family financial security:

Insurance Coverage: Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance coverage. This protects your family in case of unforeseen events.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a robust emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. This provides financial stability and peace of mind.

Estate Planning: Plan your estate to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes. Consider writing a will and setting up a trust.

Financial security for your family provides peace of mind and stability.

Financial Discipline
Maintaining financial discipline is key to achieving your goals. Here’s how to approach financial discipline:

Budgeting: Stick to your budget and avoid unnecessary expenses. This ensures you have funds available for savings and investments.

Debt Management: Avoid accumulating high-interest debt like credit card balances. Pay off existing debts to free up funds for investments.

Consistent Investments: Continue investing regularly and avoid withdrawing from long-term investments prematurely. This ensures your investments grow over time.

Financial discipline ensures you stay on track and achieve your financial objectives.

Final Insights
Your current financial position is strong, with a solid foundation and a clear goal of accumulating Rs 2 crore by retirement. By optimizing your strategy, you can achieve this goal and ensure a prosperous future. Focus on diversified investments, disciplined savings, and regular financial reviews. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and guidance. Your financial journey is a marathon, not a sprint. With discipline, planning, and professional guidance, you will achieve your financial goals and enjoy a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 49 yrs old having wife (homemaker) and one son 13 yrs. I want to retire by age of 55 yrs. I have adequate health Insurance for family also have company health insurance. I have PPF 20 lacs approx., MF 30 lacs, Rental income 25K monthly, Direct Equity 50K, Emergency FD 2 lacs. Have 11 yrs remaining on housing loan EMI 25K. My in hand salary is 1.10K monthly. I want to get 1 lac per month after retirement. Please advice.
Ans: You have done well to build a strong financial base. Your savings and investments are diverse, and you also have rental income to support your retirement. Let's break down your current assets and liabilities:

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 20 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 30 lakhs
Rental Income: Rs 25,000 monthly
Direct Equity: Rs 50,000
Emergency Fixed Deposit: Rs 2 lakhs
Home Loan: 11 years remaining with an EMI of Rs 25,000
Monthly Salary: Rs 1.10 lakhs in hand
You also mentioned having adequate health insurance for your family, which is essential for financial security.

Retirement Goal: Rs 1 Lakh Per Month
You plan to retire at the age of 55, and your goal is to generate Rs 1 lakh per month after retirement. Let's now assess how to achieve that.

Assessment of Income and Expenses Post-Retirement
You will continue to receive Rs 25,000 per month from rental income. Therefore, the remaining Rs 75,000 per month will need to come from your investments.

Your current home loan is an ongoing liability, with an EMI of Rs 25,000. It would be ideal to explore prepayment options or at least ensure that this EMI doesn’t stretch too far into your retirement.

Now let’s focus on optimizing your investments and income sources.

Evaluate Your Investments
Your portfolio is quite diversified, with investments in PPF, mutual funds, direct equity, and a fixed deposit for emergencies. However, some adjustments may be needed to generate a regular income of Rs 75,000 per month after retirement.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
The current PPF balance of Rs 20 lakhs is a safe and tax-efficient investment.
Continue contributing to PPF, but remember that its lock-in period and lower liquidity make it less ideal for regular income.
Mutual Funds
Your Rs 30 lakhs in mutual funds will play a crucial role in achieving your retirement income goals.
Since mutual funds have the potential for higher returns, maintaining and growing this corpus is important.
You can opt for a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) post-retirement. This will allow you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly without depleting the principal too fast.
Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds. Focus on actively managed funds rather than index funds, as actively managed funds can potentially outperform in the long term.
Direct Equity
Your Rs 50,000 in direct equity is a small portion of your portfolio.
Direct equity investments can be volatile, and since the amount is relatively small, you might not want to rely on it for regular income.
Consider shifting a portion of this to mutual funds for better risk management through professional fund managers. Regular funds managed by mutual fund distributors (MFDs) who are certified financial planners (CFPs) are often better for long-term growth.
Fixed Deposit for Emergencies
Your Rs 2 lakh fixed deposit is useful as an emergency buffer.
Keep this fund intact and do not use it for income generation. It's always wise to have 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in liquid, easily accessible funds.
Home Loan Strategy
The EMI of Rs 25,000 per month is a significant expense. With 11 years left on the loan, this will continue well into your retirement unless paid off earlier. Here's what you can consider:

Prepaying the loan: If feasible, use some of your current salary or rental income to prepay a portion of the home loan. Reducing this liability before retirement will ease the financial burden later.
If prepaying is not possible, ensure that your post-retirement income can comfortably cover the EMI.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Assuming you need Rs 75,000 per month from your investments (since Rs 25,000 will come from rent), you will need to build a sufficient corpus by the time you retire. The corpus should be able to generate this amount through systematic withdrawals and interest income.

With inflation and other factors in mind, a rough estimate suggests that you will need a retirement corpus of around Rs 1.5 crore to Rs 2 crore to safely generate Rs 75,000 per month. Let's now explore how to build this corpus over the next six years.

Investment Strategies to Build Your Retirement Corpus
Increase Contributions to Mutual Funds
Currently, you have Rs 30 lakhs in mutual funds. Over the next six years, this can grow significantly, depending on market conditions.
Consider increasing your monthly contributions to mutual funds. This will help you build a larger corpus by the time you retire.
Opt for equity-focused mutual funds for long-term growth. Equities tend to outperform other asset classes over longer periods.
Keep a balance between mid-cap, small-cap, and large-cap funds to optimize your returns. Avoid index funds as they may provide lower returns compared to actively managed funds.
Use Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) will help you build your corpus in a disciplined manner.
By investing regularly, you will also benefit from rupee cost averaging, which helps mitigate the impact of market volatility.
Avoid Direct Equity for Regular Income
Direct equity investments can be unpredictable and volatile. Since your goal is to generate regular income, avoid relying on direct equity.
Shift a portion of your direct equity investments into safer options like mutual funds managed by professionals. Regular mutual funds, managed by MFDs who are certified financial planners (CFPs), provide more stability and better risk management compared to direct equity or index funds.
Rental Income and Real Estate
Your Rs 25,000 rental income will be a steady source of income post-retirement.
Consider increasing the rent periodically to keep up with inflation.
Inflation and Rising Costs
It’s crucial to factor in inflation when planning for retirement. While you might need Rs 1 lakh per month today, the cost of living will rise in the future. Therefore, building a larger corpus than initially expected is always a good strategy.

Your rental income and systematic withdrawals from your mutual funds should help mitigate the impact of inflation, but do review your plan every few years to ensure you're on track.

Additional Considerations for Retirement Planning
Emergency Fund
You have an emergency FD of Rs 2 lakhs, which is a good start. However, as you get closer to retirement, it may be worth increasing this to cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses. This way, you won’t need to dip into your retirement savings for any urgent needs.

Health Insurance
You mentioned having adequate health insurance, including company-provided coverage. After retirement, you won’t have employer-provided coverage. Therefore, consider enhancing your health insurance coverage before you retire. This will protect you and your family from any unexpected medical expenses post-retirement.

Taxation of Investments
Your post-retirement income will be subject to taxation. Here’s a quick overview of how your investments will be taxed:

Rental Income: Taxed as per your income tax slab.
Mutual Funds (Equity): Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh will be taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
PPF: Interest earned is tax-free.
Fixed Deposit Interest: Taxed as per your income tax slab.
Ensure that your withdrawals and income sources are tax-efficient. A certified financial planner can help you optimize your tax liability in retirement.

Finally
You are on the right path toward a comfortable retirement. With a few strategic adjustments, you can achieve your goal of Rs 1 lakh per month after retirement. Focus on growing your mutual fund investments and paying down your home loan, while also keeping a strong emergency fund in place.

By maintaining a well-diversified portfolio and periodically reviewing your plan, you will be well-prepared for your retirement at 55.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
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Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
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You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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