I am in relationship with a girl since 9 years, Yes we have came through a lot of ups & downs in our relationship, constant fights on same things , what i have always observed is that she doesn’t respect my family as my family was not ready for this relationship as future(marriage), so lately i have convinced my family for it & even their family also ready now, I see my family are not happy with this marriage but they are doing for my happiness, since now they are ready, I see very less changes in my gf’s approach towards my family, most of the thing I listen from her mouth are Anti-Family things like separation or against my families thoughts. I am really worried of how my future after marriage considering her, She even asks me to get separated from family, if things doesn’t work between them. Please help me in this situation
Ans: Marriage is not just about love between two people—it’s about aligning values, fostering respect, and building a shared vision for the future. If your girlfriend continues to express "anti-family" sentiments or encourages separation as a solution, it’s worth exploring whether this stems from unresolved fears, insecurities, or deeper incompatibilities in how you both view family relationships. These issues won’t magically resolve after marriage; in fact, they often intensify when unaddressed.
The key here is open communication. Have an honest, non-confrontational conversation with her about your concerns. Share how much it means to you that she respects your family and how her current attitude makes you feel. Equally, try to understand her perspective without judgment. This discussion isn’t about assigning blame but about finding common ground and exploring whether you both can work through these differences.
At the same time, reflect deeply on your own expectations and boundaries. Consider what a happy and fulfilling marriage looks like for you. If respect for your family and shared values about how to navigate family relationships are non-negotiables for you, it’s essential to make that clear and see whether she is willing to meet you halfway.
If these issues feel too difficult to resolve alone, seeking pre-marital counseling or relationship therapy can provide a safe space to address them constructively. Sometimes, having a neutral third party facilitate these conversations can lead to breakthroughs that are hard to achieve on your own.
Remember, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it with unresolved doubts or concerns can lead to deeper struggles later on. Take the time to ensure that both of you are ready not just to marry but to build a life that respects and honors each other's values and families.