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Financial Planner - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Kindly review my SIPs. Are these good for long term investment? Kotak Multicap Fund – Rs 6500 pm HDFC Smallcap Direct – Rs 6500 pm SBI Bluechip Fund Direct Growth - Rs 6500 pm UTI Aggressive Hybrid Fund - Rs 6500 pm HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities - Rs 6500 pm Total investment is Rs 32500 pm.

Ans: Your Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) reflect a diversified portfolio spread across different types of equity funds. Here’s a detailed review of each fund, along with considerations for long-term investment:

1. Kotak Multicap Fund – Rs 6500 pm

• Type: Multicap Fund
• Pros: Offers a diversified exposure across large, mid, and small cap stocks, which helps in balancing risk and returns. These funds are versatile and can adapt to different market conditions.
• Cons: Performance can vary significantly based on market trends and the fund manager's strategy.

2. HDFC Smallcap Direct – Rs 6500 pm

• Type: Small Cap Fund
• Pros: Small cap funds have the potential for high returns as they invest in emerging companies with growth potential.
• Cons: High risk due to volatility and lower liquidity. Suitable for investors with a high risk tolerance and long-term horizon.

3. SBI Bluechip Fund Direct Growth - Rs 6500 pm

• Type: Large Cap Fund
• Pros: Invests in established companies with stable performance. Lower risk compared to mid and small cap funds.
• Cons: Generally, returns are moderate but stable, which might be lower than mid and small cap funds in a bull market.

4. UTI Aggressive Hybrid Fund - Rs 6500 pm

• Type: Hybrid Fund (Aggressive)
• Pros: Balances risk by investing in a mix of equities and debt instruments. Potential for moderate returns with lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
• Cons: Equity portion can still be volatile, and the debt portion may provide lower returns compared to pure equity funds.

5. HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities - Rs 6500 pm

• Type: Mid Cap Fund
• Pros: Mid cap funds have the potential for higher returns than large cap funds and are less volatile than small cap funds. They invest in companies with growth potential.
• Cons: Riskier than large cap funds but less so than small cap funds. Market conditions can affect performance significantly.

Portfolio Analysis:

• Diversification: Your portfolio is well-diversified across different market capitalisations (large cap, mid cap, and small cap) and fund types (multicap and hybrid), which helps in spreading risk.
• Risk Profile: The inclusion of small cap and mid cap funds increases the overall risk but also the potential for higher returns. The hybrid fund adds a layer of stability with its debt component.
• Investment Horizon: For long-term investments (5-10 years or more), this mix is generally good as it allows time for the more volatile small and mid cap funds to realise their growth potential.
• Monthly Contribution: A total of Rs 32,500 pm is a substantial and consistent investment, which is beneficial for compounding and wealth creation over time.

Recommendations:

• Monitor Performance: Regularly review the performance of these funds. While long-term investments should not be changed frequently, it's important to ensure that the funds are performing in line with your expectations and market conditions.
• Fund Manager Changes: Keep an eye on any changes in the fund management team, as this can impact fund performance.
• Rebalance Portfolio: Periodically rebalance your portfolio based on life goals, market conditions, and performance of the funds.
• Risk Tolerance: Assess your risk tolerance periodically. If your risk appetite decreases, consider shifting some investments from high-risk funds (like small and mid caps) to more stable options (like large caps or hybrid funds).

Overall, your SIPs appear well-thought-out and suitable for long-term investment, provided you are comfortable with the associated risks and actively monitor your portfolio.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

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Hello Sir, Kindly review my SIPs as below. Are these good for long term investment perspective? HDFC Smallcap Direct---------Rs.6500 pm HDFC Mid Cap Opportunities---------Rs.6500 pm Kotak Multicap Fund----------Rs.4000 pm SBI Bluechip Fund Direct Growth---------Rs.3500 pm UTI Aggressive Hybrid Fund----------Rs.3500 pm Total Rs.24000 pm.
Ans: Assessment of Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) for Long-Term Investment

Investment Portfolio Evaluation

Your investment choices showcase a diversified portfolio, aiming for growth and stability over the long haul. Let’s delve into each component and assess their potential for your financial goals.

Equity Funds for Growth

Equity funds hold the potential for substantial growth over the long term, but they come with inherent volatility. Your selection includes a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, and multicap funds, each catering to different segments of the market.

Small-cap and Mid-cap Funds: The Growth Engines

Small-cap and mid-cap funds have historically shown potential for high growth, but they also carry higher risk due to their exposure to smaller companies. However, their ability to outperform large-cap stocks over the long term is noteworthy.

Multicap Fund: Balancing Risk and Return

Multicap funds offer the advantage of diversification across market capitalizations, thereby spreading risk. They are well-suited for investors seeking balanced growth opportunities across various sectors and market segments.

Large-cap and Hybrid Funds for Stability

Including large-cap and hybrid funds in your portfolio introduces stability and mitigates risk. Large-cap funds typically invest in well-established companies, offering stability during market downturns. Hybrid funds, blending equity and debt, provide a cushion against market volatility.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds may seem cost-effective due to lower expense ratios, but they require investors to conduct their own research and make investment decisions independently. This approach may not be suitable for all investors, especially those lacking expertise or time for thorough analysis.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

Investing through a CFP offers several advantages, including personalized guidance, comprehensive financial planning, and ongoing portfolio management. A CFP can help align your investments with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon, ensuring a holistic approach to wealth management.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

While index funds offer low costs and broad market exposure, they lack the potential for outperformance compared to actively managed funds. Additionally, index funds are susceptible to market downturns without the active management strategies employed by fund managers.

In conclusion, your SIPs reflect a well-thought-out approach to long-term investing, blending growth-oriented equity funds with stable large-cap and hybrid options. However, consider leveraging the expertise of a CFP to optimize your portfolio and navigate market uncertainties effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am new and I have started investing in SIP of 7 thousand from this month: quant small cap fund direct -1000, Tata small cap fund-500, quant mid cap fund direct- 1000, Nippon India large cap-1000, UTI nifty 50 index fund - 2000, JM FLEXI cap fund direct-500, Aditya Birla sunlife psu equity-1000 Please inform me whether these funds are good and also I hv plan to keep these sips for 10 yr horizon.
Ans: Your Current Investment Portfolio

You have started investing Rs. 7,000 monthly through SIPs. This is a great step towards building your financial future. Your portfolio includes a mix of small cap, mid cap, large cap, flexi cap, index, and sectoral funds. Here’s an analysis of your choices:

Small Cap Fund: Rs. 1,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Large Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Index Fund: Rs. 2,000
Flexi Cap Fund: Rs. 500
Sectoral Fund: Rs. 1,000
Evaluation of Your Portfolio

1. Small Cap Funds

Small cap funds can provide high returns. However, they come with high risk. Having Rs. 1,500 in small cap funds is acceptable, but be prepared for volatility.

2. Mid Cap Fund

Mid cap funds balance risk and return. They have growth potential with moderate risk. Your Rs. 1,000 investment here is well-placed.

3. Large Cap Fund

Large cap funds are more stable. They provide steady returns. Your Rs. 1,000 investment in a large cap fund is good for stability.

4. Index Fund

Index funds track the market. However, they do not adapt to market changes. This can limit returns. Instead, consider actively managed funds for better performance.

5. Flexi Cap Fund

Flexi cap funds provide flexibility. They invest across market caps. Your Rs. 500 in a flexi cap fund is a good choice for diversification.

6. Sectoral Fund

Sectoral funds focus on specific sectors. They carry higher risk. Rs. 1,000 in a sectoral fund is fine, but keep an eye on sector performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds mimic the market. They do not adjust to market conditions. This can limit potential returns. Actively managed funds offer professional management. They adapt to market changes and seize opportunities.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds need constant monitoring. They require you to actively manage and rebalance your portfolio. This can be time-consuming. Regular funds, managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional advice and management.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. They are managed by experts who make strategic decisions. These funds can deliver higher returns compared to index funds.

Suggestions for Additional Investments

Since you plan to keep these SIPs for a 10-year horizon, consider these additions:

1. Balanced Advantage Funds

These funds adjust the equity-debt mix. They provide growth with stability.

2. International Funds

These funds invest globally. They offer diversification beyond Indian markets.

3. Debt Funds

These funds provide stability. They are good for balancing your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Continue with your SIP approach. It helps in disciplined investing. SIPs also average out the purchase cost, reducing market timing risk.

Review and Rebalance

Regularly review your portfolio. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Make adjustments if necessary.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can provide tailored advice. They manage your portfolio professionally and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Final Insights

Your current mutual fund investments are diversified. However, consider replacing index funds with actively managed funds. This can enhance your returns.

Diversify further with balanced advantage, international, and debt funds. Continue with SIPs and consult a CFP for professional advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I am new and I have started investing in SIP of 7 thousand from this month: quant small cap fund direct -1000, Tata small cap fund-500, quant mid cap fund direct- 1000, Nippon India large cap-1000, UTI nifty 50 index fund - 2000, JM FLEXI cap fund direct-500, Aditya Birla sunlife psu equity-1000 Please inform me whether these funds are good and also I hv plan to keep these sips for 10 yr horizon.
Ans: Let's dive into a detailed analysis and provide you with comprehensive guidance on your SIP investments for a 10-year horizon. It's great to see your initiative in starting a systematic investment plan. Here's a thorough evaluation of your investment portfolio with a focus on various aspects to help you understand the implications of your choices and make informed decisions.

Understanding Your Current Investment Portfolio
You've chosen a diverse mix of mutual funds for your SIPs, which is a good strategy. This diversity helps in spreading risk and capturing growth from different segments of the market. Let's break down your investments into categories and analyze each one:

Small Cap Funds: You've invested in two small cap funds. Small cap funds have the potential for high growth, but they also come with high volatility.

Mid Cap Funds: You've allocated funds to a mid cap fund. Mid caps strike a balance between growth potential and risk.

Large Cap Funds: You've chosen a large cap fund, which provides stability to your portfolio with lower risk compared to small and mid cap funds.

Index Funds: You've invested in an index fund, which aims to replicate the performance of the Nifty 50 index.

Flexi Cap Funds: You've invested in a flexi cap fund, which offers the flexibility to invest across market caps.

Sector-Specific Funds: You've allocated funds to a PSU equity fund. Sector-specific funds can be volatile and are often dependent on the sector's performance.

Evaluating Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can deliver impressive returns, especially in a growing economy. However, they are highly volatile and susceptible to market fluctuations. Over a 10-year horizon, these funds can provide substantial growth if the companies perform well.

Advantages:

High growth potential.
Beneficial in a bullish market.
Disadvantages:

High volatility.
Risk of significant losses during market downturns.
Mid Cap Funds: Balancing Growth and Stability
Mid cap funds offer a balance between the high growth potential of small caps and the stability of large caps. These funds invest in mid-sized companies that have significant growth potential and are more stable than small caps.

Advantages:

Potential for good returns.
Moderate risk compared to small caps.
Disadvantages:

Can be volatile.
Requires a longer investment horizon to mitigate risks.
Large Cap Funds: Stability and Consistent Returns
Large cap funds invest in well-established companies with a solid track record. These funds provide stability to your portfolio and are less volatile compared to small and mid cap funds.

Advantages:

Lower risk and volatility.
Consistent returns over the long term.
Disadvantages:

Lower growth potential compared to small and mid caps.
Returns may be modest.
Index Funds: A Critical Analysis
You've invested in an index fund which tracks the Nifty 50. Index funds are passively managed and aim to replicate the index's performance. While they offer diversification and low expense ratios, there are some drawbacks:

Disadvantages:

Limited to the performance of the index.
Cannot outperform the market.
Lack of active management to navigate market downturns.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Potential to outperform the market.
Active management to mitigate risks.
Flexibility in changing market conditions.
Flexi Cap Funds: Versatile and Adaptive
Flexi cap funds are versatile as they can invest across different market capitalizations. This flexibility allows the fund manager to capitalize on opportunities in any segment.

Advantages:

Diversification across market caps.
Ability to adapt to market conditions.
Disadvantages:

Performance highly dependent on the fund manager's expertise.
May have higher expense ratios.
Sector-Specific Funds: Concentrated Risk
You've invested in a PSU equity fund, which focuses on public sector undertakings. Sector-specific funds can be rewarding if the sector performs well but are highly risky.

Advantages:

High returns if the sector performs well.
Targeted exposure to a specific sector.
Disadvantages:

High risk due to concentration in one sector.
Performance is sector-dependent and can be volatile.
Active vs. Direct Funds: Considerations
You've chosen direct funds, which means you invest directly with the mutual fund company without intermediaries. While this can save on commission fees, there are advantages to investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP):

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Requires thorough research and understanding.
No professional guidance in fund selection and management.
Benefits of Investing through CFP:

Expert advice and tailored investment strategies.
Regular portfolio review and adjustments.
Better understanding of market trends and opportunities.
Long-Term Investment Strategy
A 10-year investment horizon is a substantial period, allowing you to ride out market volatility and benefit from compounding returns. Here's how you can make the most of your investments:

1. Stay Consistent with SIPs:
Continue your SIPs regularly to benefit from rupee cost averaging, which helps in buying more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high.

2. Diversify Your Portfolio:
Ensure your portfolio remains diversified across different market caps and sectors to spread risk and capture growth from various segments.

3. Review and Rebalance:
Periodically review your portfolio with a CFP to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Rebalancing helps in maintaining the desired asset allocation.

4. Monitor Performance:
Track the performance of your funds and compare them with benchmark indices. If a fund consistently underperforms, consider switching to better-performing alternatives.

5. Focus on Financial Goals:
Align your investments with specific financial goals, such as retirement, children's education, or buying a home. This helps in maintaining discipline and focus.

Final Insights
Investing in SIPs for a 10-year horizon is a smart choice. You've diversified across different types of funds, which is commendable. However, it's crucial to regularly review your portfolio, seek expert advice, and make adjustments as needed. Stay informed about market trends and remain consistent with your investments. Your financial journey is a marathon, not a sprint. With patience and prudent decision-making, you're likely to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Mam i love a boy.. Who is 2 yr younger then me and... Now he is preparing for jE.. Post and... My parents worry about my marriage... I told him about this.... He is craying... So much... He love s me very much.... He don't tell about this relationship.....to his parents.. Because he dont have any.... Job..... What should i do mam.... Plz.... Tell me... Mamm plzzz
Ans: First, have an honest conversation with him about what both of you realistically can and cannot do right now. Since he is still working on his future and you feel pressure from your family, try to think about how much time he might need to reach a stable point. Then, consider whether waiting for him is something that is possible for you and acceptable to your family.

It might also be helpful to have a calm conversation with your parents, expressing your feelings for him while being open about the current situation. Sometimes parents worry because they don’t know the full picture. Explaining that he is working hard toward his career goals may give them a better understanding. You could also ask them if they’d be willing to wait for some time before making any decisions on your marriage, if they feel comfortable with that.

If waiting is not possible and your family pressures you to consider other options, it’s important to think about your own long-term happiness and make the best choice for you. These situations are never easy, but by staying honest with yourself and your family, you will be able to make a decision that respects both your love and your future stability.

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Hello, There is a woman in my office working in my department. She is my friend's wife and was referred by me for this job. We get to work closely often, but we both make opportunities to get to work together. Most of our time spent is on work related items, with few minutes of casual chats, and we both have spent a lot of time alone in office, working extra hours and all. I have a feeling that I am starting to yearn to spend time with her on work and she also tries to be around me. We both text outside of office hours, share a lot of "inside" jokes and we both look to be enjoying the time together. I am in a confused state because it looks like she is giving me a lot of signs to move forward to next levels, but I am pulling back and not advancing. We both are married and have families. Any advice?
Ans: To manage this, start by gently reinforcing professional boundaries. While it may feel awkward initially, limiting the personal, non-work-related conversations and texts can create some emotional distance. This will not only help reduce feelings of attachment but also prevent misunderstandings or assumptions from developing on either side. At the same time, it may be beneficial to reflect on your own life and current relationships. Often, feelings that arise outside our primary relationship can signal needs or emotions that might require attention within our existing commitments.

Redirecting your focus back to your own relationship with your spouse and engaging in activities that strengthen that bond can bring a renewed appreciation for the life you have built. Rekindling affection, open communication, and connection with your spouse could help provide a sense of fulfillment that might reduce the attraction you’re feeling toward your colleague.

It may also help to remind yourself of the potential risks involved, not only to your family life but also to your professional reputation and friendships. By focusing on maintaining a respectful, professional, and appropriate connection, you’re honoring both your commitments and protecting the integrity of all relationships involved. Choosing not to act on these feelings will ultimately support the stability of your personal life and career, allowing you to maintain a healthy and professional environment at work.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2024Hindi
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Hi I brought up from a middle class family now I'm married and having 3 yrs kid, my younger brother recently got married! Ever since his marg there was a problem going on between my mom, brother and her wife , all the 3 of them bringing their problems to me and husband it creates a huge impact on my mental health due to their problems, if I try to resolve nobody is listening, I'm staying nearby my parents which is a big disadvantage, directly it's affecting me and my family? I don't know how to overcome from this type of issue
Ans: A compassionate but firm boundary can make a difference here. For instance, you could gently explain to your mother, brother, and his wife that while you understand and empathize with their challenges, you’re finding it difficult to handle all the tension that arises from these discussions. You might let them know that, for the sake of your own mental health and family well-being, you need to step back from being involved in any discussions about their conflicts.

If they do come to you with their concerns, try gently redirecting them, perhaps by suggesting that they talk directly to each other or even consider family counseling if they’re open to it. Remind them that only they can solve these issues by communicating directly, rather than relying on you as a mediator. Over time, they may begin to understand that their repeated involvement of you is not a productive solution.

Creating some physical and emotional space is key. If living nearby is heightening the tension, consider adjusting how often you interact in person. Focusing more on your own family’s peace, stability, and happiness will also help. It may feel challenging at first, but taking steps to protect your boundaries will benefit everyone, and gradually, they may even recognize the need to work out these issues themselves without depending on you.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 10, 2024Hindi
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Hi ma’am, I am a 27 year old girl. My father is a very strict person. Since childhood I have tolerated many things like I was not allowed to make friends(not even girls, forgot about boys). When I was 12 years old I was told that I was not allowed to talk to boys, and if my father ever saw me doing so, he will kill me. So, I was not allowed to talk to any friend, forget about going out and other stuff. All I used to do is sit in my room and study,I was not allowed to go out to play, wasn’t allowed to watch tv, not even allowed to go and play with cousins. Even if there was a wedding in my family, i was not allowed to go out and enjoy. And this has continued till date. I am still not allowed to go out without my father’s permission. Although I live in Bengaluru and work in a big company with a high paying job. Even the salary I get is not mine. Because my father takes it from me and I can’t say no to him. I use to say to me that if I ever did anything which he thinks is wrong, he will kill me, or will not allow me to go to college and now he will not allow me to work. And now he want me to get married to someone of his choice because of caste system. But I have a boyfriend and I want to marry my him. But I can’t even tell this to my father, because once I tell him this, he will not allow me to leave the house ever again and he would get me married to next person he finds. I am very scared of him. I don’t want to get married to anyone but my boyfriend. What should I do? Should I run away and get married to my boyfriend. I don’t know what my father will do then. He is a very controlling person .
Ans: To start, consider small steps that allow you to establish a greater sense of independence. Setting aside a portion of your income in an account only you can access, even if done quietly, can help you prepare financially for the future you envision with your boyfriend. Gaining control over your finances can also give you a greater sense of autonomy, which is key for your emotional and practical well-being.

Considering your father’s intense reaction to any choices that don’t align with his, safety is a priority. Consulting with a therapist or a counselor could help you process the emotional impact of your experiences and, importantly, develop strategies for how to approach this situation. Speaking to a counselor may also help you find a safe way to discuss your relationship with your father and express your own wishes while understanding any resources that might be available to you if needed.

If, ultimately, you decide to move forward with your relationship and marriage independently of your father’s permission, preparing yourself for potential emotional fallout is essential. While it’s natural to hope for family acceptance, remember that creating your own happiness is equally important. Over time, if your father can see that you’re stable, happy, and independent, he may eventually respect your decision.

Taking steps toward your own life may feel overwhelming, but with support and gradual changes, you can find a path that balances your love for your family with your need for self-respect, autonomy, and a future that you choose.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, I am in a 14 year old relationship with a man, the relationship is quite healthy until now, but our families are not accepting for marriage. Since his parents are divorced and her elder sister to. Everyone in my family is against this marriage and not one person is supporting it, but we truly love each other. Even the boy does, and he is doing everything he can for a mutual acceptance. There is no divorce history in my family till date. So sometimes, even I get sceptical about taking this relationship forward as I understand the seriousness of marriage, but I also understand that there is attachment, love, commitment, duration, everything involved in this 14 year old relationship which will make it very hard to accept someone else in place of him, so basically, I want to marry the guy, but not his family I know that’s not possible, but then what should I do? Should I just take the step forward with total faith in the man, or should I marry somewhere else where everything is great, only love will be unsure. The man has connections with both his parents and there is no custody involved. In this case. He is in a good relationship with both the parents, although he lives with his mother and sister.
Ans: Fourteen years is a profound commitment, and the fact that both of you have nurtured such a bond reflects a solid foundation that’s not easy to find or replicate. The conflict seems to lie mainly in your family’s fears and cultural values around marriage and their concern about potential patterns in relationships. This is an understandable reaction from them, given the uniqueness of his family background compared to what they’ve experienced.

It’s natural for you to feel torn, especially since you value your family’s approval and understand the complexities that can arise in marriage. While family acceptance can provide a comforting support system, there are instances when it doesn’t fully align with one’s own heart. Marrying him would mean choosing to rely primarily on each other, despite family reservations, which could require extra resilience and patience as you move forward together. Since he has strong relationships with both parents, it may be reassuring that he has a healthy view of family, despite their past. This could suggest that he has personal maturity and the ability to build a stable, loving relationship with you.

At the same time, your family’s perspective doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any curse or pattern that would carry over into your marriage. The key to deciding might be to look at the qualities he brings to the relationship, how both of you handle challenges, and whether he brings stability, honesty, and emotional support. The longevity and health of your relationship are positive indicators, and if both of you have open communication about potential concerns—like how family dynamics might play a role in the future—you’ll likely be prepared to face those hurdles together.

You’re faced with a decision that balances taking a leap of faith with the potential for some family disappointment. If he is the partner with whom you see a fulfilling life, the choice to marry might ultimately come down to what feels right to you, independent of family fears. Love, trust, and understanding—especially those that withstand the test of time—are incredibly powerful foundations. So, if you believe in the strength of your bond and feel you could weather any storm together, choosing him could be a step toward building the kind of family you truly want, even if it’s unconventional by your family’s standards.

But if you’re still unsure, taking time to express all these feelings to him, to explore your shared values and long-term goals, and to be absolutely sure of the life you want to build can help reinforce whichever path feels right for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
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Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.
Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

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Radheshyam

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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My son is in grade 10th, he wants to prepare for neet but he went for counselling twice where he had given some test which gave him results to prefer engineering now he is confused if i will not be able to do fare in neet thn what should i opt for since hes planning to go for integrated? Ease help
Ans: Hello.
To which tests your son appeared is not mentioned by you. I am assuming that he may be based to appear for either an IQ test or a DMIT Test. I would like to say that there is no need to 100% trust these tests. The results of these tests depend on the mindset of a student at that time. These tests are never 100% correct. Hence there is no need to worry about the results of these tests and what the counselor has told you.
Here are some key points on which you can work:
(1) Please ask his school teachers about his subject understanding.
(2) Please take an overall review of maths and science subjects from an understanding point of view only.
(3) Have an open talk with your son about his interest either in mathematics or biology.
(4) If possible, try to make an interaction with senior students who are preparing for JEE or NEET.
(5) Even though the coaching is now focussing either on PCM or PCB groups, it is advisable to take all 4 subjects PCMB in the 11th standard.
(6) Take a trial for at least 2 initial months in 11th standard for maths and biology subjects.
(7) Your son will automatically tell his interest in either engineering or medicine.
(8) Don't force your willingness on him to prepare for NEET.
(9) Based on the final decision, you may think of integrated courses.
(10) Your's sons interest matters more. If he is firm to go for NEET, then motivate him and keep the results of counselor tests aside.
Best of luck to your son for his bright future.

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Thanks.

Radheshyam

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