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Should I increase my Rs. 40k monthly MF investment and how should I adjust my portfolio for a Rs. 1 cr corpus in 10 years?

Moneywize

Moneywize   |174 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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I am investing monthly around Rs 18,000 in MFs, as per the following: Canara Robeco Small capMF - Rs 4.5k, PGIM Mid Cap Opportunities - Rs 4.5k, Tata Digital - Rs 4.5k, Quant Active - Rs 4.5k. I am intending to increase monthly investment in MF from present Rs 18k to Rs 40k & needed a corpus of at least 1 cr in next 10 years. Can you check suggest if my portfolio needs any changes or the same appears to be in order?

Ans: To reach a corpus of Rs 1 crore in 10 years, you will need to invest in funds that generate around 10-12 per cent annual returns. Your current portfolio is diversified across small-cap, mid-cap, digital, and active funds, which can work well but also carries some volatility, especially in sectoral and small-cap/mid-cap funds.

Portfolio Review:

• Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund: Good for aggressive growth but highly volatile. Keep it if you're comfortable with higher risk.
• PGIM Mid Cap Opportunities Fund: Another growth-oriented fund with decent potential. It's good to have some exposure to mid-caps.
• Tata Digital Fund: Sectoral funds are risky because they are dependent on the sector's performance. Digital/technology funds can be volatile; consider reducing exposure here.
• Quant Active Fund: A multi-cap approach with flexibility across market caps. This fund provides balance and is good for diversification.

Suggestions:

• Increase Allocation to Large Cap/Index Funds: You may want to balance your portfolio with a large-cap or index fund like UTI Nifty 50 or Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund. Large-cap funds provide stability and reduce overall portfolio volatility.
• Reduce Sector-Specific Exposure: Consider trimming your allocation to Tata Digital Fund, as sectoral funds can face prolonged underperformance during sector downturns. You can reallocate this to a more diversified fund.
• Balanced Fund: Add a balanced or hybrid fund like HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund or ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund for better risk management while maintaining growth potential.
• Debt Component: To hedge against equity risk, consider adding a small portion to a short-term debt fund or gilt fund, which can provide stability during volatile periods.

Suggested Structure After Increase:

• Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund: Rs 6,000
• PGIM Mid Cap Opportunities Fund: Rs 6,000
• Quant Active Fund: Rs 6,000
• Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund: Rs 6,000
• HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund: Rs 6,000
• ICICI Prudential Multi Asset Fund: Rs 5,000
• UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Rs 5,000

This adjusted allocation will maintain growth potential while providing a cushion against volatility.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2023Hindi
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Hi Sir, I am having following MF portfolio and Investment (Monthly) 1. ICICI PRU NIfty 50 Index Fund (2200) 2. CICI PRU NIfty Next 50 Index Fund (2200) 3. Parag parekh Flexi (4400) 4. HSBC Small Cap (1000) 5. Canara Robeco Small Cap( 4000) 6. HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund (4000). 7. Nippon Gold ETF (2000) 8. MON 100 (1000) .I want to increase my monthly investment by 25000-30000. Wanted to invest lumsum of 200000 in MF. Plz comment on Portfolio. Investment horizon 15-20 years. Wanted good corpus.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Mutual Fund Portfolio
Your current portfolio is diverse and well-structured. It includes large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and balanced funds. This diversification reduces risk and enhances growth potential. Let's delve into each aspect of your portfolio and assess it critically.

Diversification and Balance
You have a good mix of equity and balanced funds. This provides a safety net against market volatility. The inclusion of small-cap funds adds growth potential, though they come with higher risk.

Equity Funds
Your portfolio includes large-cap and mid-cap equity funds. Large-cap funds offer stability, while mid-cap funds provide growth opportunities. The mix is well-balanced for long-term growth.

Balanced Funds
Balanced funds provide a mix of equity and debt. This combination offers moderate risk with decent returns. They are suitable for investors with a long-term horizon like yours.

Sector and Theme Funds
Investing in specific sectors or themes can be risky. They depend heavily on the performance of that sector. It’s wise to keep these investments to a minimum to avoid concentration risk.

Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds offer high growth potential but come with higher volatility. It’s good to have them in your portfolio, but they should not dominate your investments.

Evaluating Index Funds and ETFs
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds have a passive management style. They mimic market indices and lack flexibility. They perform well only when the market is rising. In a downturn, they tend to perform poorly.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers. These managers can make strategic decisions based on market conditions. They can outperform the market and provide better returns.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may seem cost-effective due to lower expense ratios. However, they lack professional advice and guidance. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides valuable insights and tailored strategies.

Recommendations for Increasing Monthly Investment
Given your investment horizon of 15-20 years, you have the potential to build a significant corpus. Here’s how you can allocate an additional Rs 25,000-30,000 monthly:

Increase Allocation to Balanced Funds
Balanced funds provide stability and moderate returns. Increasing your investment in balanced funds can ensure steady growth.

Enhance Exposure to Large-Cap Funds
Large-cap funds offer stability and steady returns. They are less volatile compared to small-cap funds. Increasing allocation here can balance your portfolio.

Moderate Increase in Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds should still be part of your portfolio for growth. However, keep the exposure moderate to manage risk.

Consider Adding Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds offer a good balance between risk and return. Adding them can enhance your portfolio's growth potential without excessive risk.

Systematic Transfer Plans (STPs)
Utilize STPs to transfer a lump sum amount into equity funds gradually. This reduces the risk of market volatility and averages out the purchase cost.

Lump Sum Investment Strategy
Investing a lump sum of Rs 2,00,000 requires careful planning. Here’s a strategy to maximize returns:

Gradual Deployment Through STPs
Avoid investing the entire amount at once. Use STPs to move the lump sum into equity funds over 6-12 months. This approach mitigates market timing risk.

Diversify Across Asset Classes
Spread the lump sum across equity, balanced, and debt funds. This ensures a balanced risk-return profile and provides stability.

Focus on Actively Managed Funds
Choose actively managed funds for lump sum investments. These funds can adapt to market changes and aim for higher returns.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. This ensures alignment with your investment goals and market conditions.

Conclusion
Your current portfolio is well-diversified and suitable for long-term growth. By increasing your monthly investment and carefully deploying the lump sum, you can build a substantial corpus over 15-20 years.

Remember to stay informed and make adjustments as needed. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures you receive professional guidance tailored to your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Hardik

Hardik Parikh  | Answer  |Ask -

Tax, Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2023

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My name is Santosh Roy 47years I'm investing in following MFs. 1. Axis Bluechip Fund -- Rs 1,000/month 2. ICICI prudential focused Bluechip fund-Rs.1000/month 3. Kotak Small Cap Fund -- Rs 2,000/month 4. Mirae Asset Largecap Fund -- Rs 1000/month 5.Nippon India Small Cap Fund -- Rs 2500/month 6.Kotak Flexi Cap Fund -- Rs 4000/month. 7. Quant active fund- Rs.2000/month 8. UTI Nifty 50 index fund- Rs.2000/month 9. Canara robeco flexi cap fund - Rs.2000/month My investment horizon is 15 years, moderately high risk appetite with focus on maximum corpus build. Kindly advise if my portfolio needs any change? Thanks.
Ans: Dear Santosh,

Thank you for sharing your mutual fund investments with me. It's great to see that you've been proactive in planning for your future. Based on the details provided, I understand that you have a moderately high risk appetite and are looking to build a maximum corpus over a 15-year investment horizon.

Your current portfolio has a good mix of large-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, and index funds, which is important for diversification. I do have a few suggestions to consider for optimizing your portfolio:

Axis Bluechip Fund and ICICI Prudential Focused Bluechip Fund: As both funds are focused on large-cap stocks, you might consider consolidating these investments into one fund. You can choose the one you feel has the better performance and management. This will help you streamline your portfolio and minimize overlap.
Kotak Small Cap Fund and Nippon India Small Cap Fund: Similarly, you have two small-cap funds, and you might want to consider consolidating these investments as well. This will reduce redundancy and allow you to focus on the best-performing small-cap fund.
UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Since you already have exposure to large-cap funds, you could consider increasing your investment in this index fund, as it's a low-cost option to gain access to the top 50 companies in India. This will help in maintaining diversification while keeping costs low.
Quant Active Fund: This fund has a unique investment approach and might add some unpredictability to your portfolio. You could consider reallocating the funds invested in this scheme to the other funds you hold, which have a more consistent track record.
After you make these adjustments, you could reallocate the funds saved from consolidation into the remaining funds based on your risk appetite and return expectations. For instance, you can increase your allocation to the flexi-cap and small-cap funds if you're comfortable with higher risk for potentially higher returns.

Lastly, it's crucial to periodically review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed. As your goals, risk appetite, and market conditions change, you may need to rebalance your investments to ensure they remain aligned with your objectives.

Please note that these suggestions are based on the limited information provided and should not be considered as personalized financial advice. I strongly recommend consulting a professional financial advisor before making any significant changes to your investment portfolio.

Best of luck with your investments!

Warm regards

..Read more

Dev

Dev Ashish  | Answer  |Ask -

MF Expert, Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2023Hindi
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hi, Im investing monthly around Rs 12.5K in MF, as per the following - Canara Robeco Small capMF - Rs 2.5K, PGIM Mid cap oppurtunities - Rs 2.5K, Tata Digital - Rs 2.5K, Quant Active - Rs 5K. I am intending to increase monthly investment in MF from present Rs 12.5 k to Rs 50K & needed a corpus of at least 1.25 Cr in next 10 years. can you check my portfolio & suggest for any changes or the same appears to be in order
Ans: While the amount that you now wish to increase your monthly SIPs to, i.e. Rs 50,000 would be a reasonably good figure to achieve Rs 1.25 Cr in 10 years, the choice of funds needs a thought.

First of all, nothing is known about your risk appetite. But assuming you belong to at least the Moderately Aggressive bucket, you should stick to the following fund categories and allocations -

Largecap Index Funds - 10K
Flexicap Funds - 12.5-15K
Large&Midcap Funds - 12.5-15K
Midcap Funds - 5-7.5K
Smallcap Funds - 5-7.5K

In my view, you don't need sectoral or thematic funds (like the one you have) in your portfolio. The above-suggested fund allocation will be sufficient to help you reach your goal. Also, make sure you increase your monthly SIPs each year as your income increases.

Also, just targeting a future amount may not be enough. It is always advisable to link all your investments to your real financial goals and follow a goal-based investment philosophy.

And if you have other goals that also need investment and you are unsure how to allocate to them all, it is suggested that you get in touch with an investment advisor with full details to better plan your finances.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 41 year old.Monthly earning after tax is 1.6 lacs.I have 2 daughters elder one is 9 yrs old and younger one is 2 years old.Currently investing 19k in SIP.5K in ppf,10k in nps. Also vpf 12k deduction.Please help me to build portfolio which will help for daughters education and my retirement too.
Ans: Building a robust financial portfolio requires a comprehensive, balanced approach. Let’s explore a 360-degree solution that addresses your children's education and your retirement goals.

Financial Snapshot
Age: 41 years
Monthly Income (after tax): Rs 1.6 lakhs
Existing Investments:
SIP: Rs 19,000
PPF: Rs 5,000
NPS: Rs 10,000
VPF: Rs 12,000
Step 1: Defining Financial Goals
Identifying your primary goals is essential for crafting a tailored plan. You’ve highlighted two key objectives:

Daughters’ Education: Likely needed in the next 10-15 years
Retirement: Planning to secure a stable, inflation-adjusted income for the post-retirement phase
Let’s address these through a structured investment approach, balancing growth and stability.

Step 2: Reviewing Current Investments
SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) – Rs 19,000
Analysis: SIP in mutual funds is a commendable approach to long-term wealth creation. However, selecting actively managed funds over index funds is preferable, especially when aiming for above-average returns. Actively managed funds have a dedicated fund manager who can potentially generate higher returns by navigating market fluctuations.

Recommendation: Ensure a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds in your SIPs. Large-caps add stability, while mid-caps and small-caps contribute growth.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) – Rs 5,000
Analysis: PPF is a secure, tax-saving investment, ideal for conservative goals. However, PPF's fixed returns might not fully combat inflation, especially for longer-term goals like retirement.

Recommendation: Maintain your PPF contributions for tax benefits and partial safety but avoid relying on it as a primary wealth generator.

NPS (National Pension System) – Rs 10,000
Analysis: NPS is a good option for retirement, offering market-linked returns with tax benefits. However, NPS investments are locked until retirement, limiting liquidity.

Recommendation: Continue with NPS for its retirement-focused benefits. Opt for the active choice option, where you can decide on the equity-debt allocation, with a slight tilt towards equity for higher growth over time.

VPF (Voluntary Provident Fund) – Rs 12,000
Analysis: VPF offers safe returns and tax-saving benefits, but growth is limited. It’s best suited for the debt component of your portfolio, balancing out riskier equity investments.

Recommendation: Retain VPF contributions as a stable foundation but consider reducing it gradually to make room for more growth-oriented investments.

Step 3: Building an Optimized Portfolio for Your Goals
Goal 1: Daughters' Education
Equity Mutual Funds for Education Fund:

Allocate around Rs 15,000 per month towards equity mutual funds. These funds, when invested long-term, can grow at a rate sufficient to meet educational expenses.
Focus on a diversified portfolio of actively managed funds. Include large-cap funds for stability, flexi-cap funds for adaptability, and a portion in small-cap funds for aggressive growth.
Child-Specific Investment Plans:

Some fund houses offer child-specific mutual fund plans that combine equity and debt, designed for milestone needs like education. These plans can offer benefits, especially if you prefer a structured approach.
Regularly review and adjust the allocation based on your daughters’ education timeline, gradually shifting to more stable debt instruments as they approach college age.
Tax Efficiency:

Equity mutual funds are tax-efficient, especially if held long-term. Consider that long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%.
PPF Contributions for Education:

PPF can act as an additional safety net for education, offering assured, tax-free returns. Continue with your Rs 5,000 contribution, as PPF matures in 15 years, coinciding with your elder daughter’s higher education needs.
Goal 2: Retirement Planning
Increase SIP Allocation for Retirement:

As your income allows, consider increasing your SIP allocation gradually, ensuring a larger retirement corpus.
Select a balanced mix of large-cap and flexi-cap funds. These provide stable growth while safeguarding against market volatility.
Review and Increase NPS Contributions:

NPS contributions align well with retirement objectives. However, if you aim for more flexibility, consider shifting some VPF allocation towards additional SIPs in balanced or conservative hybrid funds. This way, you’ll have greater control over withdrawals and growth.
Balanced Advantage Funds for Stability:

Balanced Advantage Funds can offer a stable, low-volatility approach to retirement planning. They automatically adjust equity and debt allocation based on market conditions, providing growth with controlled risk.
Build an Emergency Fund in Liquid Assets:

Establish a liquid emergency fund, equivalent to 6 months’ expenses, in a low-risk avenue like a liquid fund or high-yield savings account. This safeguards you from unexpected needs without disturbing your retirement portfolio.
Step 4: Optimising Tax Efficiency
Utilize Tax Benefits Fully:

Section 80C: Max out deductions through PPF, VPF, and ELSS (if included in your SIPs).
Section 80CCD(1B): NPS offers an additional Rs 50,000 deduction under this section, a unique benefit for retirement investors.
Long-Term Gains and Tax Implications:

As per the new rules, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5% for equity mutual funds. Plan withdrawals in a staggered manner post-retirement to optimize gains while minimizing tax.
Debt Funds for Stability and Tax-Efficiency:

Debt funds can complement your retirement portfolio with steady returns. Remember that both LTCG and STCG in debt funds are taxed as per your income slab, so timing withdrawals efficiently will reduce tax outflow.
Final Insights
Crafting a balanced portfolio is essential to ensure that you achieve both your daughters' education and retirement goals. Maintaining the right equity-debt mix in mutual funds, alongside tax-efficient options like NPS and PPF, will steadily build your corpus. Revisit and realign the plan regularly to account for any changes in financial goals or market conditions.

With these tailored strategies, you are set to build a secure future for yourself and your family. Regular reviews will further enhance growth and stability, helping you achieve your financial milestones.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7016 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir Kindly review my portfolio.. Investing below amount in SIP 1)Large cap - Axis 4500 Nippon 4500 2) Flexi cap - Parag parikh - 3000 Icici - 2500 3) Mid cap - Motilal - 2500 Aditya birla - 500 Kotak - 500 4) Small cap Tata - 1500 My goal for investing is my child education, child marriage and Retirement funds I planning to invest for next 15 years Kindly suggest which and all mutual fund I have to continue and remove for better returns.. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see that you’re committed to securing funds for your child’s education, marriage, and retirement. These are critical milestones, and with the right approach, your investments can help you achieve them effectively.

Investment Goals and Approach

You have clear long-term objectives, which is ideal. Planning with specific goals like education, marriage, and retirement brings purpose to your investment journey. Given the 15-year investment horizon, you can take advantage of compounding benefits, especially with equity mutual funds. However, let’s ensure your portfolio is optimized for growth, risk, and tax efficiency.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Choices

Let’s look at your current investments across various categories:

1. Large Cap Funds
Large-cap funds provide stability, as they invest in established companies with relatively lower volatility. However, there can be limited scope for very high growth in large caps compared to mid or small caps.

You’re invested in two large-cap funds. It’s often advisable to focus on one high-performing large-cap fund to avoid overlap and unnecessary diversification.

Consider retaining a large-cap fund that has a consistent track record, active fund management, and strong research backing.

2. Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility by investing across market caps. This allows the fund manager to capture growth opportunities in any segment of the market.

Holding two flexi-cap funds is fine, as it balances large and mid-cap stocks, offering both stability and growth. However, evaluate each fund’s performance and select one if you feel any duplication in returns.

3. Mid Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds offer growth potential but come with higher risk. Given your long-term horizon, they can be beneficial.

You currently have three mid-cap funds. It might be better to consolidate into one or two top-performing funds in this category to reduce excessive overlap and diversify across sectors rather than just fund names.

4. Small Cap Fund
Small-cap funds are suitable for aggressive growth but can be highly volatile. It’s wise to limit exposure to small caps, as they tend to fluctuate significantly, especially over shorter timeframes.

Given your portfolio composition, your allocation to small caps is moderate, which seems appropriate. However, ensure you are comfortable with the high-risk nature of small caps, especially if the market faces downturns.

Analysis of Direct vs. Regular Funds

Opting for direct funds might appear attractive due to lower expense ratios, but it’s crucial to weigh the potential downsides:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds lack the guidance a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer. Expert support ensures your portfolio is regularly rebalanced and aligned with market changes, personal goals, and tax updates.

Regular Tracking: With a CFP’s help, your investments are reviewed frequently, making timely adjustments in case of underperformance. This hands-on approach is particularly helpful in achieving your long-term goals.

Tax Considerations: Regular funds through a CFP can help you optimize tax efficiency by offering proactive advice on capital gains, loss harvesting, and adjusting investments according to the new capital gains tax rules.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds may seem attractive for their lower costs, actively managed funds bring added advantages, especially for long-term investors like you:

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled fund managers actively seek growth opportunities that can outperform benchmarks over time. This could be a significant advantage given your long-term goals.

Flexibility in Market Movements: Active funds allow managers to make informed changes, adapting to market conditions and potentially protecting your investments during volatile phases.

Diverse Exposure: With active management, your funds are better diversified across sectors and stocks, reducing concentration risk and enhancing the potential for stable returns.

Investment Strategy Recommendations

Considering your goals and time horizon, here’s a comprehensive approach to optimize your portfolio:

Consolidate Fund Choices: Consider reducing similar funds within each category. This will provide clarity and focus, making it easier to track progress and reduce management complexity.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your portfolio performance, preferably with a CFP, to ensure each fund aligns with your risk tolerance and goals. Aim for annual rebalancing to stay on track.

Allocate Based on Goals: Assign specific funds for each goal. For example:

Child’s Education and Marriage: Given the moderate-to-high timeframe, allocate funds with a mix of stability (large-cap and flexi-cap funds) and growth (mid-cap).
Retirement: Invest in a diversified mix of flexi-cap and large-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to mid-caps, as retirement is a long-term goal with a potentially higher investment horizon.
Avoid Overlapping: Limit overlap between funds by choosing those with unique holdings or management strategies. Too many funds can dilute returns, especially if they invest in similar stocks.

Tax Considerations

With recent changes in capital gains tax rules, be mindful of the following when planning exits or rebalancing:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are now taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG for debt funds are taxed according to your income tax slab.

Tax Efficiency: To minimize tax outgo, hold investments for the long term and consult a CFP for tax-optimized rebalancing.

Investment Horizon: Sticking to your 15-year investment plan can help mitigate tax impacts and optimize returns.

Insurance Evaluation

If you hold any LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance policies, review their performance and fees. These products often come with high costs, which can limit returns. Consider surrendering such policies if they don’t align with your goals and reinvest in well-performing mutual funds instead.

Finally

Your commitment to a 15-year SIP plan shows your dedication to securing your family’s future. A structured, diversified approach with periodic reviews can enhance your portfolio’s performance, aligning it with your goals of education, marriage, and retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can be a valuable partner in this journey, providing expert advice to help you make the most of your investments and adjust them as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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