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Nikunj Saraf  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds Expert - Answered on Aug 09, 2023

Nikunj Saraf has more than five years of experience in financial markets and offers advice about mutual funds. He is vice president at Choice Wealth, a financial institution that offers broking, insurance, loans and government advisory services. Saraf, who is a member of the Institute Of Chartered Accountants of India, has a strong base in financial markets and wealth management.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2023Hindi
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is it good to invest in quant mutual funds for 10 years?SIP of Rs 10000?

Ans: Hello Value Investor. It's suggested to have AMC diversification in an investment portfolio. The Quant AMC can be considered, but you should diversify your portfolio both in terms of categories as well as AMCs.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am new and I have started investing in SIP of 7 thousand from this month: quant small cap fund direct -1000, Tata small cap fund-500, quant mid cap fund direct- 1000, Nippon India large cap-1000, UTI nifty 50 index fund - 2000, JM FLEXI cap fund direct-500, Aditya Birla sunlife psu equity-1000 Please inform me whether these funds are good and also I hv plan to keep these sips for 10 yr horizon.
Ans: Your Current Investment Portfolio

You have started investing Rs. 7,000 monthly through SIPs. This is a great step towards building your financial future. Your portfolio includes a mix of small cap, mid cap, large cap, flexi cap, index, and sectoral funds. Here’s an analysis of your choices:

Small Cap Fund: Rs. 1,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Large Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Index Fund: Rs. 2,000
Flexi Cap Fund: Rs. 500
Sectoral Fund: Rs. 1,000
Evaluation of Your Portfolio

1. Small Cap Funds

Small cap funds can provide high returns. However, they come with high risk. Having Rs. 1,500 in small cap funds is acceptable, but be prepared for volatility.

2. Mid Cap Fund

Mid cap funds balance risk and return. They have growth potential with moderate risk. Your Rs. 1,000 investment here is well-placed.

3. Large Cap Fund

Large cap funds are more stable. They provide steady returns. Your Rs. 1,000 investment in a large cap fund is good for stability.

4. Index Fund

Index funds track the market. However, they do not adapt to market changes. This can limit returns. Instead, consider actively managed funds for better performance.

5. Flexi Cap Fund

Flexi cap funds provide flexibility. They invest across market caps. Your Rs. 500 in a flexi cap fund is a good choice for diversification.

6. Sectoral Fund

Sectoral funds focus on specific sectors. They carry higher risk. Rs. 1,000 in a sectoral fund is fine, but keep an eye on sector performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds mimic the market. They do not adjust to market conditions. This can limit potential returns. Actively managed funds offer professional management. They adapt to market changes and seize opportunities.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds need constant monitoring. They require you to actively manage and rebalance your portfolio. This can be time-consuming. Regular funds, managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional advice and management.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. They are managed by experts who make strategic decisions. These funds can deliver higher returns compared to index funds.

Suggestions for Additional Investments

Since you plan to keep these SIPs for a 10-year horizon, consider these additions:

1. Balanced Advantage Funds

These funds adjust the equity-debt mix. They provide growth with stability.

2. International Funds

These funds invest globally. They offer diversification beyond Indian markets.

3. Debt Funds

These funds provide stability. They are good for balancing your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Continue with your SIP approach. It helps in disciplined investing. SIPs also average out the purchase cost, reducing market timing risk.

Review and Rebalance

Regularly review your portfolio. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Make adjustments if necessary.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can provide tailored advice. They manage your portfolio professionally and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Final Insights

Your current mutual fund investments are diversified. However, consider replacing index funds with actively managed funds. This can enhance your returns.

Diversify further with balanced advantage, international, and debt funds. Continue with SIPs and consult a CFP for professional advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 26, 2024

Money
Please suggest best mutual funds for investing Rs. 2,000/- monthly as an SIP for the next 10 years and what will i get after 10 years ??
Ans: Planning a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) of Rs 2,000 per month for 10 years is a smart way to create wealth. This consistent investment strategy allows you to take advantage of compounding and rupee cost averaging, ensuring your money grows steadily. Let’s explore how you can maximize returns while minimizing risks, given the 10-year horizon.

Key Factors for Mutual Fund Selection
1. Investment Horizon
You are investing for 10 years, which gives you enough time to consider equity-oriented mutual funds. Equity mutual funds tend to offer higher returns over long periods but come with some short-term volatility. Since you have a decade, you can safely invest in these high-growth funds.

2. Risk Tolerance
Equity mutual funds carry risks due to market fluctuations. However, over a 10-year horizon, these risks tend to even out. If you can handle some volatility and focus on long-term growth, you can expect better returns. On the other hand, if you prefer more safety, you can balance your portfolio with a small portion of hybrid or debt funds.

3. Expected Returns
Mutual funds, especially equity-oriented ones, have historically offered returns in the range of 10% to 12% annually over long-term periods. However, these returns are not guaranteed and may vary based on market conditions. The power of compounding works best over extended periods, allowing your investment to grow exponentially towards the later years.

SIP Benefits Over 10 Years
1. Rupee Cost Averaging
When you invest Rs 2,000 every month, you buy more units when the market is low and fewer when the market is high. This strategy helps you average out the cost of buying mutual fund units over time, making market fluctuations work in your favor.

2. Discipline and Consistency
A SIP brings discipline into your financial life. With a fixed Rs 2,000 invested monthly, you don’t have to worry about timing the market. It removes emotional decision-making and ensures consistent investment towards your goal.

Recommended Mutual Fund Categories
1. Equity Mutual Funds
For your 10-year investment horizon, focusing on equity mutual funds is a great idea. These funds primarily invest in stocks and have the potential to provide better long-term growth. You may look into large-cap and multi-cap funds for stability, along with some mid-cap funds for higher growth potential. Actively managed equity funds are beneficial because professional fund managers adjust portfolios to manage risks and enhance returns.

Pros:
Higher returns over the long term.
Professional fund management to navigate market fluctuations.
Cons:
Short-term volatility.
Requires a long-term commitment for good returns.
2. Hybrid Funds
If you want to balance risk and return, hybrid mutual funds are a good option. These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing a more balanced approach. They reduce risk compared to pure equity funds while still offering decent growth prospects.

Pros:
Balanced risk due to debt allocation.
Lower volatility compared to equity funds.
Cons:
Lower returns than pure equity funds.
Less aggressive growth potential over long term.
3. Debt Funds
If safety is your top priority, you may include a small portion in debt mutual funds. These funds are low-risk but offer lower returns, typically around 6% to 7%. Including debt funds could reduce overall risk but also lowers the growth potential of your portfolio.

Pros:
Lower risk, suitable for conservative investors.
Stable and predictable returns.
Cons:
Lower returns compared to equity.
May not keep pace with inflation over the long term.
Expected Wealth After 10 Years
Assuming an average annual return of 10% to 12% from equity mutual funds, here’s an approximate idea of what your Rs 2,000 monthly SIP could grow into after 10 years:

At a 10% return, you could accumulate around Rs 4 lakh to Rs 4.5 lakh.

At a 12% return, this amount could be higher, reaching around Rs 5 lakh.

These figures are based on historical performance, and actual returns may vary. The beauty of SIPs is that they allow your money to grow steadily over time, and you can increase your SIP amount if your financial situation improves.

The Importance of Regular Funds
When investing in mutual funds, it’s advisable to go for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). The key advantage here is the guidance and expertise you receive. Direct funds might have lower fees, but they do not offer professional advice or support, which is crucial when making long-term investment decisions.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:
No professional guidance.
Difficult to manage and rebalance portfolio on your own.
Benefits of Regular Funds:
Expert advice from Certified Financial Planners.
Help in choosing the right fund mix.
Rebalancing and portfolio review over time.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 2,000 monthly in mutual funds through SIPs for 10 years can help you create wealth and achieve your financial goals. Here’s a summary of what to keep in mind:

Opt for Equity Funds: These offer the best growth potential for your 10-year horizon.

Consider Hybrid Funds: If you want to balance risk and reward, hybrid funds offer stability.

Start Early and Be Consistent: The longer you stay invested, the better your returns will be.

Seek Professional Guidance: Invest through regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner to ensure you’re on the right path.

By consistently investing Rs 2,000 per month, you could accumulate a significant amount over 10 years. The key is to choose the right mix of funds, stay invested for the long term, and let compounding work its magic.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir I am 45 yrs old Below is my 33000/month SIP 1.UTI NIFTY 50 INDEX FUND - 3000 2.NIPPON INDIA LARGE CAP FUND -3000 3.PARAG PARIKH FLEXICAP FUND -4000 4.QUANT FLEXICAP FUND-3000 5.AXIS GROWTH OPP FUND -3000 6.QUANT ACTIVE FUND - 3000 7.HDFC MIDCAP OPP FUND - 4000 8.KOTAK EMERGING EQUITY FUND - 4000 9.QUANT SMALLCAP FUND - 3000 10.KOTAK SMALL CAP FUND - 3000 Please advise the fund selection is ok or any changes require for 10 years investment. SIP started 2021
Ans: Your decision to invest Rs 33,000 per month through a systematic investment plan (SIP) demonstrates a disciplined approach towards wealth creation. It's commendable that you started in 2021 and have already taken significant steps to ensure your financial future.

However, a closer analysis of your portfolio reveals some potential areas for improvement. While you have diversified across multiple funds, over-diversification and some fund selection choices may reduce the efficiency of your investment strategy. Let’s dive deeper into each fund category and suggest how you can optimize your portfolio for better long-term results.

Index Funds vs. Actively Managed Funds
UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund – Rs 3,000/month

Your investment in UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund is an example of a passive investment strategy. Index funds are often chosen for their low expense ratios and simplicity. However, there are several reasons why index funds might not be the most suitable option for you, especially given your long-term horizon of 10 years.

No Potential for Outperformance: Index funds simply replicate the performance of a given index, like the Nifty 50 in this case. This means that if the market underperforms, your investment will also underperform. There's no active management to try and beat the market, which is particularly important in a volatile market like India.

Lack of Downside Protection: In bearish or volatile markets, actively managed funds can take defensive positions by reallocating assets to safer instruments. Index funds, on the other hand, must stick to their respective indices, regardless of market conditions.

Given these factors, I recommend you reduce or exit your investment in the UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund and instead allocate those funds to an actively managed large-cap or flexi-cap fund. Actively managed funds have the potential to provide better returns through skilled fund management and the ability to adapt to market conditions.

Large-Cap Funds
Nippon India Large Cap Fund – Rs 3,000/month

Large-cap funds are known for their stability and relatively lower risk compared to mid-cap or small-cap funds. Nippon India Large Cap Fund is one of the more well-established large-cap funds in the market. However, large-cap funds often offer moderate returns, which may not always meet your expectations, especially over a 10-year horizon.

That said, actively managed large-cap funds provide an opportunity for higher returns. These funds focus on blue-chip companies, but the key advantage lies in active stock selection and the ability to overweight or underweight specific sectors based on market conditions. This flexibility allows them to outperform index funds in the long run.

I would recommend retaining your investment in this large-cap fund, but you should regularly review its performance. If you notice consistent underperformance, consider switching to another large-cap fund with a better track record of outperformance.

Flexi-Cap Funds
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs 4,000/month
Quant Flexi Cap Fund – Rs 3,000/month

Flexi-cap funds are an excellent choice for long-term investments, especially when your investment horizon extends over 10 years. These funds offer the flexibility to invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks, providing a balanced approach to growth and stability.

However, you’ve invested in two flexi-cap funds, which can result in an overlap of investments. Both Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund and Quant Flexi Cap Fund have gained popularity due to their consistent performance, but holding both may not be necessary. Instead of investing in two funds of the same category, you can streamline your portfolio by selecting one and reallocating the investment in a different category for better diversification.

Recommendation:
Keep Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund due to its strong long-term performance and more stable approach. Consider reducing or exiting your investment in Quant Flexi Cap Fund to avoid redundancy. You could reallocate this Rs 3,000 towards other categories that might provide a different style of investment, such as a hybrid or balanced advantage fund, which combines equity and debt.

Mid-Cap Funds
HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund – Rs 4,000/month

Mid-cap funds offer higher growth potential compared to large-cap funds, albeit with more volatility. These funds invest in companies that are in their growth phase and are expected to become large-cap companies in the future. HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund has historically been a good performer in this category.

Considering your 10-year horizon, mid-cap funds are suitable for wealth creation. They can outperform large-cap funds during bullish market conditions, although they may experience short-term volatility. The key here is patience and regular monitoring.

Recommendation:
Continue your investment in HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund. This fund aligns well with your long-term goals, and its growth potential makes it a good fit for a 10-year investment horizon.

Small-Cap Funds
Quant Small Cap Fund – Rs 3,000/month
Kotak Small Cap Fund – Rs 3,000/month

Small-cap funds offer the highest growth potential among equity funds but come with a higher risk factor. These funds invest in smaller companies, which have the potential for explosive growth, but they are also more volatile and prone to market fluctuations. Given your 10-year investment horizon, small-cap funds can be a great addition to your portfolio, but they require a strong risk appetite.

You’ve allocated Rs 6,000 to small-cap funds, split equally between Quant Small Cap Fund and Kotak Small Cap Fund. While small-cap funds can provide significant returns, holding two small-cap funds may expose you to similar risks and reduce the benefit of diversification.

Recommendation:
Consider consolidating your small-cap investments by sticking to one of the two funds. Kotak Small Cap Fund has been a consistent performer, whereas Quant Small Cap Fund can be more volatile. I would recommend continuing with Kotak Small Cap Fund and reallocating the Rs 3,000 from Quant Small Cap Fund to another category, such as a hybrid fund, for better risk management.

Sector Concentration and Fund House Overlap
Another important aspect to consider is the concentration of your investments in certain asset management companies (AMCs). You’ve invested in multiple funds from Quant and Kotak, which increases sector concentration risk. While both fund houses have performed well, putting too much of your money into a few AMCs increases the likelihood that poor performance from one fund house could negatively impact your entire portfolio.

Recommendation:
Diversify across different AMCs to reduce concentration risk. You can achieve this by reducing your exposure to multiple funds from the same AMC and spreading your investments across different fund houses with a strong track record.

Over-Diversification
You have 10 different funds in your portfolio. While diversification is important, over-diversification can dilute the returns of your portfolio. With too many funds, the impact of any one fund’s performance becomes negligible, and you may end up holding many funds that perform similarly.

Managing 10 funds also increases the complexity of tracking performance and making necessary adjustments. A more streamlined portfolio will help you focus on funds that are more likely to provide superior returns.

Recommendation:
Consider reducing the number of funds in your portfolio to around 6-7. This will give you better control over your investments and reduce redundancy in your portfolio. Focus on high-quality funds that cover different market capitalizations and styles of investment, such as large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap.

Benefits of Investing Through Regular Funds
If you’re investing in direct funds, it’s important to weigh the disadvantages compared to investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they require more active monitoring and decision-making. As an individual investor, it can be challenging to consistently track market movements, rebalance your portfolio, and ensure that your investments align with your goals.

Regular funds, on the other hand, provide access to professional advice and guidance through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials. A CFP can help you navigate market volatility, adjust your portfolio as needed, and provide tax-efficient strategies. The added value of professional advice often outweighs the slight cost advantage of direct funds.

Asset Allocation and Risk Management
Your current portfolio is heavily weighted towards equity, which is suitable for long-term growth. However, as you approach the later stages of your investment horizon, it’s essential to rebalance your portfolio to include some low-risk investments. This will protect the wealth you’ve accumulated from potential market downturns.

A diversified portfolio should include a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds, depending on your risk tolerance and time horizon. Given your 10-year horizon, equity should continue to dominate your portfolio, but you may want to start introducing some debt or balanced funds as you get closer to your goal.

Taxation Considerations
Understanding the taxation of mutual fund investments is crucial to maximizing your returns. Under the current tax rules:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) from equity mutual funds above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
For debt mutual funds, both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income tax slab.
As your investments grow over the next 10 years, tax planning will become increasingly important. A Certified Financial Planner can help you structure your withdrawals and redemptions to minimize the tax impact and maximize your post-tax returns.

Finally
Your current SIP portfolio is strong but could be optimized for better long-term performance. Over-diversification, overlap between fund categories, and concentration in certain AMCs could reduce the overall efficiency of your investments. Simplifying your portfolio and focusing on high-quality, actively managed funds will likely yield better results.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Sir/madam My son is an MBA and wants to establish a cafe. Kindly guide. Regards
Ans: It's great to hear that your son is planning to open a cafe. With his MBA knowledge and entrepreneurial spirit, he has a strong foundation to build a successful venture. Here are some steps to guide him.

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He must decide on a unique concept for the cafe that will set it apart from others. Whether it is a cozy space for book lovers, a health-focused menu, or a modern cafe with a tech-friendly vibe, having a clear vision will attract the right customers. Additionally, researching the market to understand customer preferences, competition, and pricing trends is important to create a viable business plan.

Encourage him to prepare a detailed business plan that includes his vision, projected budget, marketing strategy, and operational plans. Choosing the right location with good visibility and foot traffic will be crucial to the cafe's success. He will also need to obtain the necessary licenses and permits, such as food safety approval and business registration, to operate legally.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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