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Hardik Parikh  | Answer  |Ask -

Tax, Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Apr 11, 2023

Hardik Parikh is a chartered accountant with over 15 years of experience in taxation, accounting and finance.
He also holds an MBA degree from IIM-Indore.
Hardik, who began his career as an equity research analyst, founded his own advisory firm, Hardik Parikh Associates LLP, which provides a variety of financial services to clients.
He is committed to sharing his knowledge and helping others learn more about finance. He also speaks about valuation at different forums, such as study groups of the Western India Regional Council of Chartered Accountants.... more
Srinivasa Question by Srinivasa on Apr 08, 2023Hindi
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Dear Sir, Iam 51 and I have been investing in diversified mutual funds since last 10 years and accumulated around Rs 1.28 Crores and continuing SIP's in following funds. Quant Large cap - Rs 9000, SBI Health care fund - Rs 5000, UTI Flexi cap fund - Rs 5000, Kotak Flexi cap fund - Rs 13000, Mirae asset hybrid equity fund - Rs 8000. I have also accumulated corpus of Rs 13 lakhs in NPS tier 1 and doing SIP of Rs 5000 every months. Further i have combine corpus of Rs 43 Lakhs in EPF and PPF accounts. I have invested Rs 4.72 Lakhs in 20 Year bonds of HUDCO, PFC tax free bonds in 2013 and receiving Rs 42000 every year as interest. I want to have Rs 50000 every month from the above from next year. I will try to continue SIP's till next 2-3 years from other expected incomes from parents.Iam also getting Rs 15000 per month as rent and do not have nay debt.

Ans: Dear Srinivasa,

First of all, congratulations on your disciplined investment approach over the past decade. You have built a considerable corpus that should serve you well in the coming years.

Based on the information you provided, you currently have:

Mutual Funds: Rs 1.28 Crores
NPS (Tier 1): Rs 13 Lakhs
EPF and PPF: Rs 43 Lakhs
HUDCO and PFC Bonds: Rs 4.72 Lakhs (Rs 42,000 annual interest)
Rental Income: Rs 15,000 per month
Your goal is to generate Rs 50,000 per month starting next year.

Here's a suggested plan:

Continue your SIPs in mutual funds for the next 2-3 years, as you mentioned. This will help your corpus grow even further.
Utilize the interest income from the HUDCO and PFC bonds (Rs 42,000 per year) as a part of your desired Rs 50,000 per month. You can reinvest the interest income in a liquid fund or a short-term debt fund to ensure its availability when needed.
You can consider allocating a portion of your mutual fund corpus to a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in order to generate the remaining monthly income needed. Assuming you require Rs 50,000 per month (Rs 6 Lakhs per year), you can use a small portion of your Rs 1.28 Crores corpus to fund this. Start the SWP next year to meet your monthly income requirement.
Your rental income of Rs 15,000 per month will serve as an additional source of income, which can be used to cover any unforeseen expenses or to reinvest in your portfolio.
It's advisable to keep your EPF and PPF investments intact until maturity, as they provide a safe and tax-efficient option for long-term wealth creation.
Please remember that the above plan is only a suggestion, and you should consult with a certified financial planner to create a personalized plan based on your specific financial situation and goals.

Wishing you the best in your financial journey.

Warm regards,
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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My self Neeraj Bajpai and invested Rs. 47000.00 per month in mutual fund through SIP in Axis m/f, SBI Contra fund, Nippon fund, Parag Parikh, Motilal Oswal, Tata etc. My Goal is 2 CR next 9.5 years, its is sufficient. Already invesedt in M/F in Rs. 20 Lakhs for next 9.5 years. Please advise me.
Ans: Hello Neeraj, it's great to see your commitment to investing in mutual funds through SIPs for your financial goals. Let's delve into your situation and explore whether your current investment strategy aligns with your goal of accumulating 2 crores in the next 9.5 years.

Here are some key points to consider:

Current Investment: Your monthly SIP of Rs. 47,000 spread across various mutual fund schemes indicates a disciplined approach towards wealth creation.
Goal Analysis: Your target of accumulating 2 crores in the next 9.5 years is ambitious yet achievable with proper planning and consistent investing.
Assessment of Investment Horizon: With a relatively short time horizon of 9.5 years, it's essential to strike a balance between growth-oriented and stable investment options.
Diversification: Your investment portfolio appears diversified across multiple mutual fund schemes, which is a prudent approach to mitigate risks and capture potential returns from various market segments.
Risk Management: Given the volatility inherent in equity markets, it's crucial to periodically assess and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it remains in line with your risk tolerance and financial goals.
Regular Monitoring: Regularly monitoring the performance of your mutual fund investments and making necessary adjustments based on changing market conditions and your evolving financial situation is imperative for long-term success.
Professional Guidance: While you're already on the right track with your investments, seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner can provide you with personalized insights and strategies to optimize your portfolio for achieving your financial goals.
In summary, while your current investment approach demonstrates prudence and commitment, it's essential to continue monitoring your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your goal of accumulating 2 crores in the next 9.5 years. With proper planning, discipline, and professional guidance, you can work towards achieving financial security and prosperity for yourself and your loved ones.

Keep up the good work, Neeraj, and stay focused on your financial goals. Your dedication to investing will undoubtedly yield fruitful results in the years to come.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello Experts, I am 35 year old planning to have a corpus of ?5cr in next 20 years. I have 20lacs fixed deposit and invest in below mutual funds via SIPs and also planning to increase it by 5k per month Sukanya Samriddhi : 1.5 Lacs VPF : 1.2 Lacs NPS: 1.5 Lacs (Tier 1 - 75% equity) Monthly SIPs: Parag Parekh flexi cap - 5k UTI Index fund- 2k Kotak Emerging equity : 2k Mirae asset emerging bluechip: 1k SBI Blue chip: 1k Nippon India tax saver :0.5k Axis long term equity :1.5k Axis mid cap: 1k HDFC Mid cap opportunities: 1k Axis small cap fund: 5k
Ans: Given your age and goal of accumulating 5 crores in 20 years, your current investment strategy appears well-diversified. Here are some suggestions to optimize your portfolio:

Review Asset Allocation: Ensure your asset allocation aligns with your risk tolerance and long-term goals. Consider increasing exposure to equity for higher growth potential.
Increase Equity Allocation: Given your long investment horizon, consider gradually increasing your equity allocation to capitalize on potential market growth.
Regularly Monitor Performance: Periodically review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments if necessary to ensure they continue to meet your investment objectives.
Consider Tax Planning: Explore tax-efficient investment options such as ELSS funds and NPS Tier 1 for additional tax benefits.
Continue Systematic Investing: Maintain discipline in your SIP investments and consider increasing your SIP amounts over time to accelerate wealth accumulation.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund in place to cover unexpected expenses, typically equivalent to 3-6 months of living expenses.
By implementing these strategies and staying committed to your long-term financial goals, you can work towards achieving your target corpus of 5 crores in 20 years. Always seek professional advice from a Certified Financial Planner to tailor your investment strategy to your specific needs and circumstances.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 11, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 44 year old and want to retire after 15 years with 20 cr. value in current investing 1.55L in MF SIP in these fund ADITYA BIRLA SUN LIFE PSU EQUITY FUND - DIRECT PLAN 5000 AXIS BLUECHIP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 0 AXIS MIDCAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 0 AXIS SMALL CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 4000 CANARA ROBECO BLUECHIP EQUITY FUND - DIRECT PLAN 12000 HDFC MULTI CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 3000 ICICI PRUDENTIAL BHARAT 22 FOF - DIRECT PLAN 5000 ICICI PRUDENTIAL NIFTY NEXT 50 INDEX FUND - DIRECT PLAN 3000 KOTAK MULTICAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 4000 MIRAE ASSET LARGE CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 4000 MOTILAL OSWAL MIDCAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 6000 MOTILAL OSWAL NIFTY INDIA DEFENCE INDEX FUND - DIRECT PLAN 10000 NIPPON INDIA LARGE CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 10000 NIPPON INDIA MULTI CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 4000 NIPPON INDIA SMALL CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 5000 PARAG PARIKH FLEXI CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 6000 PGIM INDIA FLEXI CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 6000 PGIM INDIA MIDCAP OPPORTUNITIES FUND - DIRECT PLAN 4000 QUANT ELSS TAX SAVER FUND - DIRECT PLAN 12500 QUANT INFRASTRUCTURE FUND - DIRECT PLAN 7000 QUANT LARGE AND MID CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 6000 QUANT MID CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 12000 QUANT SMALL CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 7000 SBI CONTRA FUND - DIRECT PLAN 8000 TATA SMALL CAP FUND - DIRECT PLAN 6000 ZERODHA NIFTY LARGEMIDCAP 250 INDEX FUND - DIRECT PLAN 2500 I feel that i am investing in too much fund . Kindly look my above portfolio and suggest to addition and change from these schemes to achieve the mentioned retirement target of 20 Cr. MF. Portfolio after 15 years.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Investment Portfolio
You've established a clear financial goal: accumulating Rs 20 crore by the time you retire in 15 years. To achieve this, you're currently investing Rs 1.55 lakh per month through SIPs in mutual funds. This commitment shows you're serious about your future and willing to take the necessary steps to secure it. However, the number of funds in your portfolio suggests you may be spreading your investments too thin, which could hinder your progress.

Understanding Over-Diversification
Diversification is a cornerstone of investing. It reduces risk by spreading investments across various assets or funds. However, over-diversification occurs when too many investments are made in similar funds or asset classes. This dilutes potential returns and complicates portfolio management. Your portfolio consists of 27 different funds, which is excessive.

The Dangers of Over-Diversification
Fund Overlap: Many funds in your portfolio likely invest in the same or similar stocks, leading to unnecessary redundancy. This doesn’t enhance diversification but rather makes it harder for you to see significant returns.

Management Complexity: With 27 funds, it’s challenging to track each one’s performance. This complexity makes it difficult to make timely adjustments to your portfolio, which is crucial for achieving your long-term goals.

Diluted Returns: When you invest in too many funds, the performance of your best-performing funds gets diluted by the average or poor performance of others. This can drag down your overall returns.

The Need for Streamlining Your Portfolio
To achieve your goal of Rs 20 crore in 15 years, it’s essential to streamline your portfolio. A focused approach will allow you to benefit from the growth potential of carefully selected funds without the drawbacks of over-diversification.

1. Large-Cap Funds: Foundation of Stability and Growth
Current Allocation: You have several large-cap funds in your portfolio, which are known for their stability and lower volatility compared to mid-cap and small-cap funds. However, holding multiple large-cap funds is unnecessary as they often invest in the same blue-chip companies.

Recommended Action: Consolidate your large-cap investments into one or two well-performing funds. This will simplify your portfolio and ensure that your investments are concentrated in the best opportunities within the large-cap space.

Suggested Allocation: Ideally, 25-30% of your portfolio should be allocated to large-cap funds. This allocation provides stability and consistent growth potential, crucial for someone planning retirement in 15 years.

2. Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: Growth Drivers
Current Allocation: Mid-cap and small-cap funds are essential for achieving high growth. However, these funds come with higher risk and volatility. Your portfolio includes multiple mid-cap and small-cap funds, which may lead to overlapping investments.

Recommended Action: Narrow down your mid-cap and small-cap funds to one or two top performers in each category. Focus on funds that have a consistent track record of outperforming their benchmarks.

Suggested Allocation: Allocate 30-40% of your portfolio to a mix of mid-cap and small-cap funds. This will provide the growth potential needed to reach your Rs 20 crore goal while managing the risk associated with these funds.

3. Multi-Cap and Flexi-Cap Funds: Balanced Growth with Flexibility
Current Allocation: Multi-cap and flexi-cap funds offer flexibility by investing across different market capitalizations. Your portfolio has several of these funds, which is a good strategy for diversification. However, having too many can dilute their benefits.

Recommended Action: Consolidate your multi-cap and flexi-cap funds into one or two that have demonstrated consistent performance. These funds should have the ability to adjust their portfolio allocation based on market conditions.

Suggested Allocation: 20-25% of your portfolio should be in multi-cap or flexi-cap funds. This provides a balance between stability and growth, essential for long-term wealth accumulation.

4. Sectoral and Thematic Funds: Tactical Bets for Enhanced Returns
Current Allocation: You’ve invested in sectoral funds like Quant Infrastructure Fund and Motilal Oswal Nifty India Defence Index Fund. These funds can offer high returns but come with increased risk due to their concentrated exposure to specific sectors.

Recommended Action: Limit your exposure to sectoral and thematic funds. These should represent a small portion of your portfolio, used for tactical bets rather than core holdings. Choose sectors you believe will outperform in the long term, but be mindful of the higher volatility.

Suggested Allocation: Restrict sectoral and thematic funds to 5-10% of your portfolio. This ensures that while you can benefit from sectoral growth, the overall portfolio remains stable and diversified.

5. Index Funds: A Reconsideration of Their Role
Current Allocation: Your portfolio includes index funds like Zerodha Nifty LargeMidcap 250 Index Fund and ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund. While index funds have low expense ratios and provide broad market exposure, they may not always be the best choice, especially when aiming for high growth.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Lack of Active Management: Index funds merely replicate the market and do not exploit market inefficiencies. Active fund managers, on the other hand, can outperform the market by selecting stocks based on research and analysis.
Underperformance in Volatile Markets: During market downturns or periods of high volatility, index funds may not protect your capital as well as actively managed funds, which can adjust their portfolios to minimize losses.
Recommended Action: Consider reducing or eliminating your index fund exposure. Instead, focus on actively managed funds that have a track record of outperforming their benchmarks.

Suggested Allocation: If you choose to retain any index funds, limit them to no more than 5% of your portfolio. The majority of your investments should be in actively managed funds with the potential for higher returns.

Building an Ideal Portfolio for Your Retirement Goal
To achieve your Rs 20 crore target in 15 years, it’s essential to build a portfolio that is both diversified and focused. Here’s a suggested portfolio structure that aligns with your risk profile, time horizon, and return expectations:

1. Large-Cap Funds (25-30% of Portfolio):
Retain 1-2 high-performing large-cap funds. These funds should have a history of consistent returns and lower volatility.
Why Large-Cap Funds? They provide stability and steady growth, essential as you approach retirement. Large-cap funds invest in established companies with strong track records, making them a safer bet.
2. Mid-Cap Funds (20-25% of Portfolio):
Retain 1-2 mid-cap funds that have shown resilience and consistent growth over the years.
Why Mid-Cap Funds? Mid-cap funds offer a good balance between risk and return. They invest in companies with the potential to become large-caps in the future, providing higher growth opportunities.
3. Small-Cap Funds (15-20% of Portfolio):
Retain 1-2 small-cap funds that have consistently outperformed their benchmarks.
Why Small-Cap Funds? Small-cap funds are riskier but can deliver significant returns over the long term. They are suitable for the growth portion of your portfolio, especially given your 15-year time horizon.
4. Flexi-Cap Funds (20-25% of Portfolio):
Retain 1-2 flexi-cap funds with a strong performance history. These funds should have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations.
Why Flexi-Cap Funds? Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach to investing, with the flexibility to adjust to market conditions. This makes them a valuable part of your portfolio.
5. Sectoral/Thematic Funds (5-10% of Portfolio):
Retain only 1-2 sectoral funds that align with your long-term views.
Why Sectoral Funds? Sectoral funds can provide high returns, but they come with higher risk. By limiting exposure, you can benefit from sectoral growth without exposing your portfolio to excessive risk.
6. Index Funds (Up to 5% of Portfolio):
If you wish to retain any index funds, limit them to a small portion of your portfolio.
Why Limit Index Funds? Index funds offer market returns but lack the ability to outperform. Given your aggressive growth target, actively managed funds may serve you better.
Final Insights
Your goal of accumulating Rs 20 crore by retirement is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy. By consolidating and focusing your investments, you can maximize returns while managing risk effectively. Here’s a summary of the steps you should take:

Consolidate large-cap funds: Merge similar funds to avoid redundancy and simplify management.
Focus on mid-cap and small-cap funds: Select the top performers in each category to drive growth.
Streamline multi-cap/flexi-cap funds: Keep the best performers and ensure they have the flexibility to adapt to market changes.
Limit sectoral funds: Use them for tactical investments but keep their exposure low to manage risk.
Reduce index fund exposure: Consider actively managed funds for their potential to outperform, especially in volatile markets.
By implementing these changes, you’ll not only simplify your portfolio but also enhance its performance potential. This streamlined approach will help you stay on track to achieve your retirement goal of Rs 20 crore in 15 years.

Investing is a long-term commitment, and regular reviews of your portfolio are essential to ensure it remains aligned with your goals. As you get closer to retirement, consider gradually shifting your portfolio towards more stable investments to protect your capital. However, for now, an aggressive yet focused strategy is key to reaching your ambitious financial goal.

Remember, every investment decision should be made with a clear understanding of your risk tolerance, time horizon, and financial objectives. By staying disciplined and focused, you can build the wealth you need to enjoy a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Money
Sir please review my mutual fund sip portfolio * Axis Mid Cap Fund - Direct Growth = 1000 * ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF - Direct Plan = 1000 * Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Direct Plan = 1000 * Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - Direct Plan = 1000 * quant Small Cap Fund - Direct Plan Growth = 1000 * SBI Small Cap Fund Direct Growth = 2000 * SBI PSU direct plan growth = 1000 My age is 27 . Looking a long term investment with higher return. Shall I continue this portfolio or any changes required? Kindly give your valuable suggestions . Thank you
Ans: Your portfolio looks well-constructed, with a strong foundation in mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. Each fund you've chosen reflects a strategic approach for growth. Let's evaluate each category and make any necessary suggestions to ensure you achieve the best potential returns over the long term.

Overview of Your Current Portfolio
You’ve diversified well across categories, with each fund serving a unique role. Let’s analyze the strengths and potential improvements in each area of your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds, like the one in your portfolio, focus on companies with substantial growth potential but higher risk compared to large-cap companies. Over the long term, these funds often outperform due to their growth-focused nature.

However, consider monitoring this fund periodically. Mid-cap stocks can face higher volatility, which may impact returns if held solely without re-evaluation.

Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds are growth-oriented, targeting smaller companies with significant room for expansion. You’ve allocated well to this category, focusing on funds with robust track records.

Due to their volatile nature, however, they can experience sharp swings. A Certified Financial Planner can offer guidance to rebalance if necessary, which could enhance returns and help you avoid undue risk over the long term.

Flexi-Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds have the flexibility to invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies, making them versatile. This allocation ensures that you have exposure to high-growth stocks while benefiting from the stability of large-cap stocks.

This type of fund aligns well with your long-term goal as it can balance risk across market cycles. Continue with this allocation for stable yet high-growth potential.

Sectoral Funds (Public Sector & PSU Funds)
Sectoral funds focused on PSUs add a thematic angle to your portfolio, providing exposure to government-linked companies. Such funds may perform well during economic growth phases or government-led initiatives but might also experience phases of underperformance.

For long-term investors like you, relying heavily on sectoral funds can add cyclical risk. A diversified equity fund may offer higher long-term growth with less risk than sector-specific investments.

Evaluation of Direct Fund Plans
Sir, investing through direct plans saves on expense ratios, which may seem beneficial at first. However, there are significant drawbacks:

Lack of Advisory Support: Direct plans don't offer professional guidance. Over time, tracking and rebalancing become crucial, and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) with an MFD (Mutual Fund Distributor) credential ensures optimal management.

Market Cycles and Rebalancing: Without expert oversight, you could miss critical adjustments during volatile market phases, affecting returns. A CFP helps in such rebalancing for better performance.

Tax Implications and Withdrawals: Selling or withdrawing from mutual funds, especially equity funds, incurs tax. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% for gains above Rs 1.25 lakh, while short-term gains (STCG) incur 20%. A regular plan with an MFD provides ongoing tax-efficient strategies.

Opting for regular plans via an MFD with a CFP credential will enable you to maximize returns while accessing insights that make a difference long term.

Suggested Modifications for Higher Returns and Stability
Focus on Balanced Funds Over Sectoral Exposure

To limit risks tied to sectoral funds, consider allocating a portion to balanced or diversified funds. These funds balance equity with stable instruments like debt, reducing volatility and sustaining growth.

Revisit Small and Mid-Cap Allocations

With multiple small-cap and mid-cap funds, consider focusing on one fund in each category. Over-diversification in these can dilute returns and increase tracking requirements. A strategic reallocation could yield more focused, consistent growth.

Consider SIP Step-Up for Long-Term Compounding

An annual SIP step-up, even a small amount, could enhance long-term wealth creation significantly. This adjustment boosts your corpus over time and aligns with your long-term goal of maximizing returns.

Seek Guidance from a Certified Financial Planner

Having a CFP manage your portfolio brings personalized insight into market trends, rebalancing, and tax-efficient strategies. A CFP ensures you capitalize on growth while maintaining balance and tax efficiency.

Key Benefits of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Sir, I noticed you are not invested in index funds, which is beneficial for your growth objective. Actively managed funds outperform index funds, especially in dynamic market conditions. Here’s why:

Higher Returns Potential: Actively managed funds provide the flexibility to capitalize on changing market opportunities, which index funds lack due to their passive structure.

Adaptive Strategy: Fund managers of actively managed funds adjust to market shifts, providing growth and safety in a fluctuating market.

Downside Protection: During bear markets, actively managed funds can adjust exposure, while index funds simply follow the market downturn. Active management can minimize losses, giving a steadier performance over time.

Final Insights
Sir, you have built a promising portfolio with well-selected funds across categories. A few modifications could ensure a more balanced, growth-oriented, and tax-efficient portfolio. The following adjustments will help you achieve higher returns with sustained stability:

Consider balanced or diversified funds for steadier growth.

Limit mid-cap and small-cap fund overlaps to reduce portfolio complexity.

Use the expertise of a CFP to handle rebalancing, tax efficiency, and market cycle adaptations.

Continue focusing on actively managed funds over index funds, as these provide better long-term value.

Through these steps, you can optimize your portfolio for maximum growth and stability, setting a strong foundation for your long-term investment goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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