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22-year-old earning 1.5 lakh/month - How to invest for a 20-25 lakh car?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I earn 1.5 lakh/month after all the taxes. My age is currently 22, I have no loans and my parents do not depend on me. How should I be investing if I plan to take a 20-25 lakhs car in the near future (3-4 years). I do not need to buy a house as I will be living with my parents only. Currently I have to pay rent of 25k/month and that is my only fixed cost for a month.

Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
You earn Rs 1.5 lakh per month after taxes. At 22, you have no loans and your parents are not dependent on you. Your only fixed cost is a monthly rent of Rs 25,000.

This leaves you with Rs 1.25 lakh per month for savings and investments.

Defining Your Goals
You plan to buy a car worth Rs 20-25 lakh in 3-4 years. This is a significant goal that requires a structured investment plan.

Investment Strategy
Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund. It should cover 6 months of expenses. For you, this would be around Rs 1.5 lakh (25k rent + 1 lakh for other expenses x 6). This should be kept in a high-interest savings account or a liquid fund.

Short-Term Investments

To buy a car in 3-4 years, you need to invest in low-risk, short-term instruments. Avoid equity for this goal as it is volatile.

Recurring Deposit (RD)

An RD with a bank is a good option. It provides guaranteed returns and is low risk.

Debt Mutual Funds

Consider investing in short-term debt mutual funds. These are less volatile and provide better returns than fixed deposits.

Fixed Deposit (FD)

You can also consider a fixed deposit. It offers guaranteed returns with low risk.

Long-Term Investments

Since you don't need to buy a house and have no other major financial commitments, you can invest aggressively for the long term. This will help you build wealth over time.

Equity Mutual Funds

Invest in equity mutual funds through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP). It spreads risk over time and helps in rupee cost averaging. Choose funds with a good track record and managed by reputable fund managers.

Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. This can result in higher returns.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a good option for long-term savings. It offers tax benefits under Section 80C and provides a fixed return.

National Pension System (NPS)

NPS is another good long-term investment. It offers tax benefits and helps build a retirement corpus.

Savings Plan for Car Purchase
To save Rs 20-25 lakh in 3-4 years:

Monthly Savings Target

To reach your goal, you need to save around Rs 50,000-60,000 per month.

Investment Options

Divide your savings between RDs, short-term debt mutual funds, and FDs. This diversification will reduce risk.

Monthly Budgeting
Track Expenses

Keep a record of your expenses. This will help you identify areas where you can cut costs.

Automate Investments

Set up automatic transfers to your investment accounts. This ensures discipline and consistency.

Tax Planning
Section 80C Investments

Utilize the Rs 1.5 lakh limit under Section 80C. Investments in PPF, NPS, and ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme) can help you save tax.

Health Insurance

Consider taking health insurance. Premiums are tax-deductible under Section 80D.

Final Insights
Start saving and investing as early as possible. Diversify your investments to reduce risk. Review your investments regularly and adjust as needed.

Be disciplined and consistent with your savings plan to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 34 years old and I work as a IT consultant and my wife is a homemaker and we have a 6 months old son. My salary is 26 Lakhs and currently I have about 15 Lakhs of savings and 15 Lakhs of funds parked in Shares. I dont have a house and a car. Please suggest on how to invest for home and car in about next 5-7 years and investment for child future education and marriage.
Ans: Congratulations on your new son! It sounds like you're in a good financial position to plan for your future goals. Here are some thoughts on how to invest for your home, car, and child's future:

Emergency Fund:

Before diving into investments for bigger goals, ensure you have a solid emergency fund. Aim for 3-6 months of your living expenses to cover unexpected costs. You can park this in a high-interest savings account or liquid funds for easy access.
Home and Car:

Timeline: With a 5-7 year timeframe, you can consider a mix of investments for your down payment on a house and car.
Down Payment: Typically, a 20% down payment is recommended for a house loan to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI).
Investment Options:
Debt Funds: Invest a portion in low-risk debt funds that offer moderate returns with lower volatility than stocks.
Balanced Mutual Funds: Consider balanced mutual funds that invest in a mix of stocks and bonds, offering a balance between growth and stability.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in Equity Mutual Funds: A small monthly SIP in diversified equity mutual funds can potentially offer higher returns over the long term, but be aware of market fluctuations.
Child's Education and Marriage:

Investment Horizon: You have a long investment horizon for your child's future. This allows you to consider growth-oriented investments.
Investment Options:
Equity Mutual Funds: A regular SIP in equity mutual funds allows you to benefit from compounding returns over the long term.
Child Plans: Explore child-specific investment plans offered by insurance companies. These plans provide insurance coverage along with a maturity benefit for your child's education or marriage. These may not offer the highest returns but can provide tax benefits and life insurance coverage.
Government Schemes: Sukanya Samriddhi Account (SSA) for a girl child offers good interest rates and tax benefits.
Here are some additional tips:

Do your research: Before investing in any financial product, research different options and understand the risks involved.
Seek professional financial advice: Consider consulting a registered financial advisor who can create a personalized plan based on your specific needs and risk tolerance.
Review Regularly: Review your investments periodically and adjust your asset allocation as your goals and risk tolerance change.
Remember: This is a general guideline, and the best investment strategy will depend on your specific circumstances. Be sure to factor in your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment time horizon when making any investment decisions.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

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Hello Experts, Greetings Im 33yr old and was earning just to make ends meet until now.Now I have a job where I can save 1.5 lakhs per month. I have short term goal to buy a car worth 10 lakhs in next 1 year or so. . suggest an investment strategy so that I can plan accordingly to achieve this goal. Also with about 50,000 I can invest in equity and debt with 60%-40% ratio for a long time. please suggest SIPs for the same. Thank you
Ans: Congratulations on your new job and the opportunity to save significantly each month! Let's outline a strategy to help you achieve your short-term goal of buying a car worth 10 lakhs within the next year, as well as a long-term investment plan for your equity and debt portfolio:

Short-Term Goal (Car Purchase):
Since your goal is to buy a car within the next year, it's crucial to focus on low-risk, liquid investment options to ensure the safety of your capital.
Consider investing your savings in a combination of fixed deposits (FDs), liquid mutual funds, or short-term debt funds. These options provide relatively stable returns and allow for easy access to funds when needed.
Aim to allocate your savings in such a way that you can accumulate 10 lakhs within the specified timeframe. Calculate the required monthly contribution based on your investment choice and the expected rate of return.
Long-Term Investment (Equity and Debt):
With a monthly surplus of 50,000 for long-term investments, you have the opportunity to build a well-diversified portfolio that balances growth potential and risk.
Considering your risk tolerance and the long investment horizon, a 60%-40% allocation to equity and debt, respectively, seems reasonable.
For equity investments, consider investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap mutual funds through SIPs. These funds offer exposure to different segments of the market and can help diversify your portfolio.
For debt investments, opt for high-quality debt funds or fixed income options like PPF or debt-oriented mutual funds. These instruments provide stability and regular income while preserving capital.
Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
For your short-term goal, prioritize capital preservation and liquidity, while for your long-term investment portfolio, focus on creating a balanced mix of equity and debt instruments to achieve your financial objectives.

Best of luck with your investments and car purchase journey!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 06, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 31years old. I have a appartment and a car in my name. No loan till date. My earni gs are 1.25 lacs per month. I wanted to invest for my future. I can spare 50000 per month. Would like to have your advice
Ans: It's commendable that you're looking to invest for your future at the age of 31. Building a financial foundation early in life is crucial. With your monthly income of Rs 1.25 lakhs, you have a strong position to create wealth.

With Rs 50,000 available each month for investments, you have a fantastic opportunity to grow your corpus over time. Let’s delve into how you can effectively allocate your funds to ensure a balanced and prosperous future.

Why Avoid Real Estate?
Real estate can sometimes seem like a lucrative investment. However, it is essential to understand that real estate investment comes with various challenges and considerations:

High Capital Requirement: Real estate typically requires significant capital. This can restrict your liquidity, leaving you without readily accessible funds in emergencies.

Market Fluctuations: Property values can fluctuate. You may not always see the desired returns when you need them.

Maintenance and Costs: Owning property often comes with additional costs such as maintenance, property taxes, and insurance. These can eat into your overall returns.

Time-Consuming: Managing real estate can be time-consuming. It requires constant oversight, whether it's dealing with tenants or maintaining the property.

Given your current financial status, it would be wise to focus your investments on more liquid and less risky avenues. This will allow you to grow your wealth effectively without tying up your capital.

Evaluating Investment Options
You have a significant amount, Rs 50,000, to invest each month. Let's assess the best investment avenues for you:

1. Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are one of the most effective ways to grow your wealth over time. They provide diversification, professional management, and liquidity.

Diversification: Investing in a mutual fund gives you access to a basket of stocks or bonds. This minimizes the risk of losing all your money if one investment does poorly.

Professional Management: With mutual funds, your money is managed by experts. They continuously analyze market trends and make investment decisions.

Liquidity: Mutual funds offer flexibility in terms of liquidity. You can redeem your investments when needed.

For your profile, actively managed equity funds are an excellent choice. These funds have the potential to outperform passive options over the long term.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds may seem appealing due to their lower expense ratios, there are significant disadvantages to consider:

Limited Growth Potential: Index funds aim to replicate market performance. They don’t actively manage or adjust investments based on market conditions. This means they might miss opportunities for growth.

No Personal Touch: Investing in an index fund means you are relying on the market as a whole. Active managers can adapt to changes and manage risk more effectively.

Actively managed funds can respond to changing market dynamics, aiming for higher returns. They have the flexibility to switch between stocks based on performance and market conditions.

2. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
A Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly. This strategy has several advantages:

Rupee Cost Averaging: Investing a fixed amount regularly helps in averaging the cost of purchases. You buy more units when prices are low and fewer units when prices are high.

Discipline in Investing: A SIP encourages you to invest regularly, fostering a habit of saving and investing. This disciplined approach can significantly enhance your wealth over time.

Long-Term Growth: Equity markets tend to perform well over the long term. A SIP helps you stay invested, benefiting from compounding growth.

Consider allocating a significant portion of your Rs 50,000 monthly investment through SIPs in mutual funds. Aim for a mix of equity and hybrid funds, where equity funds focus on long-term growth, while hybrid funds offer stability.

3. Regular vs. Direct Funds
When investing in mutual funds, it’s crucial to understand the difference between regular and direct funds:

Regular Funds: These are sold through intermediaries, such as a Certified Financial Planner. They offer guidance and support, ensuring that your investments align with your financial goals. You benefit from their expertise in choosing the right funds.

Direct Funds: While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they often lack comprehensive support. You might miss valuable insights and recommendations without expert guidance.

Choosing regular funds allows you to access personalized advice. This can be beneficial for optimizing your investment strategy.

4. Public Provident Fund (PPF)
The Public Provident Fund (PPF) is another excellent investment option for you. It has several key advantages:

Safe Investment: PPF is backed by the government. It offers guaranteed returns, making it a safe choice.

Tax Benefits: Contributions to PPF qualify for tax deductions under Section 80C. The interest earned and maturity amount are also tax-free.

Long-Term Lock-In: PPF has a 15-year lock-in period. This encourages disciplined savings and reduces the temptation to withdraw early.

Consider contributing a portion of your monthly investment to PPF. The fixed returns and tax benefits make it an attractive option for wealth accumulation.

5. National Pension System (NPS)
The National Pension System (NPS) is an excellent long-term investment for retirement planning. Here are some benefits:

Retirement Savings: NPS helps you build a retirement corpus over the long term. This can provide financial security during your retirement years.

Tax Benefits: Contributions to NPS qualify for tax deductions. You can claim additional deductions beyond those available for PPF.

Flexible Investment Options: NPS allows you to choose from a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. This flexibility lets you tailor your investment strategy based on your risk appetite.

Allocate a portion of your monthly investment to NPS. This will help enhance your retirement savings and provide valuable tax benefits.

6. Diversifying Your Investments
Diversification is a key strategy in investment. It helps reduce risk while aiming for higher returns. Here's a suggested allocation for your Rs 50,000 monthly investment:

Equity Mutual Funds: Rs 30,000

This will allow you to capitalize on the growth potential of equity markets.
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs 10,000

This ensures a safe investment option with fixed returns.
National Pension System (NPS): Rs 10,000

This will strengthen your retirement corpus.
By spreading your investments across different avenues, you can balance growth with safety.

Importance of Regular Monitoring
Investing is not a one-time activity. It requires regular monitoring and adjustments. Here are some key points to consider:

Annual Reviews: Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Adjust your investments based on performance and changing market conditions.

Stay Informed: Keep yourself updated on market trends, economic changes, and investment options. This knowledge will help you make informed decisions.

Seek Professional Guidance: Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. Their expertise can provide insights that enhance your investment strategy.

Final Insights
Investing wisely today will secure your financial future. Focus on mutual funds and NPS for a balanced approach.

Aim for a diversified portfolio that includes equity mutual funds, PPF, and NPS.

Keep track of your investments regularly and adjust as needed.

Stay informed about market trends and economic changes to make educated investment decisions.

Utilize the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your investment strategy.

Taking these steps can help you build a solid financial foundation. By making informed investment choices, you will be well on your way to achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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I am Lisha a kg teacher. I have debt of 40 lakhs. I have net income 25000. How can I manage to recover from debt? Please reply
Ans: Understanding the Debt Situation

You have a total debt of Rs. 40 lakhs.

Your net income is Rs. 25,000 per month.

Managing this situation requires planning, discipline, and action.

The key focus should be reducing high-interest loans first.

Increasing income is also necessary to speed up debt repayment.

Prioritising Debt Repayment

List all loans with their interest rates and EMI amounts.

Identify which loans have the highest interest rates.

Prioritise paying off the costliest loan first.

If you have multiple high-interest loans, consider debt consolidation.

Avoid taking new loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.

Reducing Monthly Interest Burden

Rs. 40 lakh debt with Rs. 25,000 income is a serious imbalance.

Your monthly interest burden alone can be unmanageable.

Speak with lenders and request lower interest rates.

Negotiate for an extended loan tenure to reduce EMI.

Avoid late payments to prevent penalties and additional charges.

Earning More Income

With Rs. 25,000 monthly income, repaying Rs. 40 lakh is tough.

Look for additional income sources, even part-time jobs.

Explore online tutoring, weekend coaching, or freelance work.

If possible, upskill to apply for a higher-paying job.

Can you take extra classes at school for additional earnings?

Find small home-based businesses like craft-making or baking.

Use any skills you have to create an extra income stream.

Cutting Down Expenses

Reduce unnecessary expenses wherever possible.

Limit non-essential spending like dining out, entertainment, and subscriptions.

Look for cheaper alternatives for daily expenses.

Create a strict monthly budget and track every expense.

Save on electricity, fuel, and shopping wherever possible.

Avoid personal luxuries until your financial situation improves.

Seeking Family Support

If possible, take help from family members.

Can they provide an interest-free loan for partial debt payment?

Even a small contribution can reduce your debt burden.

Family members may also help with daily expenses for some time.

Transparent communication with them is important.

Avoiding Traps of Loan Apps & Credit Cards

Avoid borrowing from mobile loan apps due to high interest.

Credit cards should not be used for cash withdrawals.

Paying only the minimum due on a credit card leads to more debt.

If you have credit card debt, clear it first due to high interest.

Stick to formal financial institutions for loans.

Exploring Debt Restructuring Options

If you have a bank loan, check if restructuring is possible.

Some banks allow restructuring in financial hardship cases.

This can reduce EMI or provide a temporary relief period.

Approach your lenders with a genuine repayment plan.

Avoid defaulting, as it can hurt your credit score.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments

Do not fall for quick-money schemes or gambling.

Avoid investments that promise unrealistically high returns.

Avoid stock market trading without proper knowledge.

Focus on steady income generation instead of risky bets.

Checking for Any Insurance Policies

If you have LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance, review them.

If surrendering makes sense, reinvest the amount wisely.

Do not stop health insurance, as medical emergencies can worsen finances.

Creating a Step-by-Step Debt Repayment Plan

Pay the minimum due on all loans to avoid penalties.

Focus on repaying the highest-interest loan first.

Negotiate lower interest rates with lenders.

Increase income through side jobs.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to save money.

Explore options like debt consolidation if suitable.

Seek family support where possible.

Avoid new loans unless absolutely necessary.

Finally

Your financial situation is tough but not impossible to fix.

With discipline and effort, debt repayment is possible.

Every small step in saving and earning will help.

Avoid financial mistakes and stay committed to the plan.

With time, your financial situation will improve.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Money
At the age of 35 I had 15 lakhs saving, but due a surgery at home I had to almost empty it, on top of it even I had gone through and surgery plus even my father too ( all three generations nero issue) from +15 I went to 25lakhs of debt From various apps and financial sector. I was able to settle few loans and credits but still my outstanding is approx 20 lakhs. My monthly income is 25000 and my only intrest per month is 12500 How do I get of it asap, as living a normal life seems magic.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging, but not impossible to fix. With a structured approach, discipline, and patience, you can come out of this debt and regain financial stability. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get back on track.

Understanding the Current Financial Situation
You had Rs. 15 lakhs in savings, but due to medical emergencies, your finances took a hit.

Now, you are left with Rs. 20 lakhs of debt, with an income of Rs. 25,000 per month.

Your monthly interest alone is Rs. 12,500, which is eating up 50% of your earnings.

The key priority should be reducing interest burden and increasing cash flow.

Steps to Reduce Your Debt Faster
1. Stop Borrowing More Money
Do not take new loans to pay old loans.

Avoid borrowing from friends or family unless it is interest-free and comes with no pressure.

Stay away from personal loans, credit card loans, and payday loans, as they have high interest rates.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Loans First
List down all your loans and interest rates.

Pay off loans with the highest interest rate first.

If possible, negotiate with lenders for lower interest rates.

3. Consolidate Loans for Lower Interest Rate
Check if a bank can give you a low-interest personal loan to clear high-cost debts.

If you have a good credit history, you may get a balance transfer facility on credit cards or personal loans.

Consider a secured loan against any assets, but only if the interest rate is much lower.

4. Increase Your Monthly EMI Payment
Paying only the minimum EMI will keep you stuck in debt for years.

Try increasing your EMI by even Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month to reduce the loan tenure.

Any extra income, bonus, or gift money should go towards clearing debt first.

Boosting Income to Tackle Debt
5. Explore Part-Time Work or Freelancing
A second source of income can help you clear your debt faster.

Consider freelancing, online tutoring, content writing, data entry, or delivery jobs.

If possible, take up overtime or extra shifts at work.

6. Use Your Skills to Earn More
Identify any skills that can help you earn extra money.

If you have a talent for repair work, photography, teaching, or writing, offer your services.

Even small extra earnings of Rs. 5,000-10,000 per month can speed up debt repayment.

7. Rent Out Assets for Passive Income
If you have an extra room, vehicle, or any asset, consider renting it.

This can bring in some cash flow without extra effort.

Cutting Expenses to Free Up More Cash
8. Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Track every rupee spent and eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Stop eating out, buying expensive clothes, or making impulsive purchases.

Switch to cheaper alternatives for groceries, transport, and entertainment.

9. Pause Investments Until Debt is Cleared
Right now, clearing debt should be the priority over investing.

Stop SIPs or investments temporarily and resume them once debts are under control.

Avoid risky investments like stocks or crypto, as losses can worsen your situation.

10. Negotiate Bills and Cut Fixed Costs
Talk to your landlord, service providers, and utility companies for possible discounts.

If possible, shift to a smaller house or a cheaper location to save on rent.

Reduce electricity, water, and mobile bills by using them wisely.

Managing Financial Stress and Mental Health
11. Accept the Situation Without Guilt
Medical emergencies are unpredictable, and you did what was needed for your family.

Do not feel guilty or blame yourself. Instead, focus on the solution.

12. Involve Your Family in Financial Planning
If you have a spouse, siblings, or parents who can help, discuss the situation with them.

They may not be able to give money, but they can support in other ways.

13. Stay Positive and Focused
Financial stress is tough, but worrying too much will not solve the problem.

Stay focused on taking action every month to improve your situation.

Celebrate small wins like closing one loan or saving an extra Rs. 1,000.

Long-Term Financial Stability
14. Build an Emergency Fund Once Debt is Cleared
After clearing debt, start saving at least Rs. 2,000 per month as an emergency fund.

This will help in handling future emergencies without taking loans.

15. Invest Smartly for Future Growth
Once financially stable, invest wisely in well-managed mutual funds for long-term wealth.

Avoid financial products with hidden charges like ULIPs or endowment plans.

16. Get Proper Health Insurance
Medical expenses caused the current debt. Invest in health insurance to prevent this in the future.

Look for affordable policies covering major illnesses.

Finally
The journey out of debt is difficult but achievable with the right approach.

Focus on reducing high-interest loans, earning more, and cutting unnecessary expenses.

Take small steps each month, and within a few years, you will be debt-free and financially stable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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