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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Suhas Question by Suhas on May 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello Experts, Greetings Im 33yr old and was earning just to make ends meet until now.Now I have a job where I can save 1.5 lakhs per month. I have short term goal to buy a car worth 10 lakhs in next 1 year or so. . suggest an investment strategy so that I can plan accordingly to achieve this goal. Also with about 50,000 I can invest in equity and debt with 60%-40% ratio for a long time. please suggest SIPs for the same. Thank you

Ans: Congratulations on your new job and the opportunity to save significantly each month! Let's outline a strategy to help you achieve your short-term goal of buying a car worth 10 lakhs within the next year, as well as a long-term investment plan for your equity and debt portfolio:

Short-Term Goal (Car Purchase):
Since your goal is to buy a car within the next year, it's crucial to focus on low-risk, liquid investment options to ensure the safety of your capital.
Consider investing your savings in a combination of fixed deposits (FDs), liquid mutual funds, or short-term debt funds. These options provide relatively stable returns and allow for easy access to funds when needed.
Aim to allocate your savings in such a way that you can accumulate 10 lakhs within the specified timeframe. Calculate the required monthly contribution based on your investment choice and the expected rate of return.
Long-Term Investment (Equity and Debt):
With a monthly surplus of 50,000 for long-term investments, you have the opportunity to build a well-diversified portfolio that balances growth potential and risk.
Considering your risk tolerance and the long investment horizon, a 60%-40% allocation to equity and debt, respectively, seems reasonable.
For equity investments, consider investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap mutual funds through SIPs. These funds offer exposure to different segments of the market and can help diversify your portfolio.
For debt investments, opt for high-quality debt funds or fixed income options like PPF or debt-oriented mutual funds. These instruments provide stability and regular income while preserving capital.
Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
For your short-term goal, prioritize capital preservation and liquidity, while for your long-term investment portfolio, focus on creating a balanced mix of equity and debt instruments to achieve your financial objectives.

Best of luck with your investments and car purchase journey!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 34 years old and I work as a IT consultant and my wife is a homemaker and we have a 6 months old son. My salary is 26 Lakhs and currently I have about 15 Lakhs of savings and 15 Lakhs of funds parked in Shares. I dont have a house and a car. Please suggest on how to invest for home and car in about next 5-7 years and investment for child future education and marriage.
Ans: Congratulations on your new son! It sounds like you're in a good financial position to plan for your future goals. Here are some thoughts on how to invest for your home, car, and child's future:

Emergency Fund:

Before diving into investments for bigger goals, ensure you have a solid emergency fund. Aim for 3-6 months of your living expenses to cover unexpected costs. You can park this in a high-interest savings account or liquid funds for easy access.
Home and Car:

Timeline: With a 5-7 year timeframe, you can consider a mix of investments for your down payment on a house and car.
Down Payment: Typically, a 20% down payment is recommended for a house loan to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI).
Investment Options:
Debt Funds: Invest a portion in low-risk debt funds that offer moderate returns with lower volatility than stocks.
Balanced Mutual Funds: Consider balanced mutual funds that invest in a mix of stocks and bonds, offering a balance between growth and stability.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in Equity Mutual Funds: A small monthly SIP in diversified equity mutual funds can potentially offer higher returns over the long term, but be aware of market fluctuations.
Child's Education and Marriage:

Investment Horizon: You have a long investment horizon for your child's future. This allows you to consider growth-oriented investments.
Investment Options:
Equity Mutual Funds: A regular SIP in equity mutual funds allows you to benefit from compounding returns over the long term.
Child Plans: Explore child-specific investment plans offered by insurance companies. These plans provide insurance coverage along with a maturity benefit for your child's education or marriage. These may not offer the highest returns but can provide tax benefits and life insurance coverage.
Government Schemes: Sukanya Samriddhi Account (SSA) for a girl child offers good interest rates and tax benefits.
Here are some additional tips:

Do your research: Before investing in any financial product, research different options and understand the risks involved.
Seek professional financial advice: Consider consulting a registered financial advisor who can create a personalized plan based on your specific needs and risk tolerance.
Review Regularly: Review your investments periodically and adjust your asset allocation as your goals and risk tolerance change.
Remember: This is a general guideline, and the best investment strategy will depend on your specific circumstances. Be sure to factor in your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment time horizon when making any investment decisions.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I earn 1.5 lakh/month after all the taxes. My age is currently 22, I have no loans and my parents do not depend on me. How should I be investing if I plan to take a 20-25 lakhs car in the near future (3-4 years). I do not need to buy a house as I will be living with my parents only. Currently I have to pay rent of 25k/month and that is my only fixed cost for a month.
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
You earn Rs 1.5 lakh per month after taxes. At 22, you have no loans and your parents are not dependent on you. Your only fixed cost is a monthly rent of Rs 25,000.

This leaves you with Rs 1.25 lakh per month for savings and investments.

Defining Your Goals
You plan to buy a car worth Rs 20-25 lakh in 3-4 years. This is a significant goal that requires a structured investment plan.

Investment Strategy
Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund. It should cover 6 months of expenses. For you, this would be around Rs 1.5 lakh (25k rent + 1 lakh for other expenses x 6). This should be kept in a high-interest savings account or a liquid fund.

Short-Term Investments

To buy a car in 3-4 years, you need to invest in low-risk, short-term instruments. Avoid equity for this goal as it is volatile.

Recurring Deposit (RD)

An RD with a bank is a good option. It provides guaranteed returns and is low risk.

Debt Mutual Funds

Consider investing in short-term debt mutual funds. These are less volatile and provide better returns than fixed deposits.

Fixed Deposit (FD)

You can also consider a fixed deposit. It offers guaranteed returns with low risk.

Long-Term Investments

Since you don't need to buy a house and have no other major financial commitments, you can invest aggressively for the long term. This will help you build wealth over time.

Equity Mutual Funds

Invest in equity mutual funds through a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP). It spreads risk over time and helps in rupee cost averaging. Choose funds with a good track record and managed by reputable fund managers.

Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Fund managers adjust the portfolio based on market conditions. This can result in higher returns.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)

PPF is a good option for long-term savings. It offers tax benefits under Section 80C and provides a fixed return.

National Pension System (NPS)

NPS is another good long-term investment. It offers tax benefits and helps build a retirement corpus.

Savings Plan for Car Purchase
To save Rs 20-25 lakh in 3-4 years:

Monthly Savings Target

To reach your goal, you need to save around Rs 50,000-60,000 per month.

Investment Options

Divide your savings between RDs, short-term debt mutual funds, and FDs. This diversification will reduce risk.

Monthly Budgeting
Track Expenses

Keep a record of your expenses. This will help you identify areas where you can cut costs.

Automate Investments

Set up automatic transfers to your investment accounts. This ensures discipline and consistency.

Tax Planning
Section 80C Investments

Utilize the Rs 1.5 lakh limit under Section 80C. Investments in PPF, NPS, and ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme) can help you save tax.

Health Insurance

Consider taking health insurance. Premiums are tax-deductible under Section 80D.

Final Insights
Start saving and investing as early as possible. Diversify your investments to reduce risk. Review your investments regularly and adjust as needed.

Be disciplined and consistent with your savings plan to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir.. My wife has invested close to 90 lakhs in Stocks. We have 12 lakhs in FD and around 10 lak in MF. My monthly net salary is 1.8 lakhs. I hv a car loan and i pay a monthly emi of 13000. I want to invest on some Long investment plans with better returnz i am not really happy to have a large sum in stocks which is unpredictable. Can you pls suggest some plans
Ans: Your current financial situation is commendable. You have a healthy monthly income of Rs. 1.8 lakhs. Your wife has invested Rs. 90 lakhs in stocks, and you have Rs. 12 lakhs in Fixed Deposits (FDs) and Rs. 10 lakhs in Mutual Funds (MFs). You also have a car loan with an EMI of Rs. 13,000.

Your current portfolio shows a preference for stocks and FDs. Stocks are volatile, and FDs offer lower returns. This imbalance may not be aligned with your long-term financial goals.

Importance of Diversification
It is important to diversify your investments. Diversification reduces risk and ensures stable returns over time. Your current portfolio is heavily tilted towards stocks, which are unpredictable. By spreading your investments across different asset classes, you can create a balanced portfolio that offers better returns with reduced risk.

Consider investing in a mix of Mutual Funds, bonds, and other investment options. This strategy will help in creating a more balanced portfolio.

Evaluating Mutual Funds
Mutual Funds are a good option for long-term investments. They offer diversification and professional management. Since you already have Rs. 10 lakhs in Mutual Funds, it is wise to explore this option further.

You can consider investing in different categories of Mutual Funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds invest in stocks and are suitable for long-term growth. They have the potential to offer higher returns compared to other investments. However, they come with higher risk.

Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in fixed income securities like bonds and government securities. They offer stable returns with lower risk. They are suitable for those who want regular income and capital protection.

Hybrid Mutual Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments. They offer a balance of risk and return. They are suitable for investors looking for moderate growth with controlled risk.

Investing in a combination of these funds can help you achieve your financial goals while maintaining a balanced risk profile.

Importance of Regular Investment
Regular investment through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) is a disciplined approach. It allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in Mutual Funds. SIPs help in averaging the cost of investment and reduce the impact of market volatility.

With your monthly income, you can easily allocate a portion towards SIPs. This will help in building a substantial corpus over time. Investing in SIPs ensures that you do not need to time the market, which is often difficult and risky.

Exploring Tax-Saving Investments
Tax-saving investments are an essential part of financial planning. They help in reducing your tax liability while growing your wealth. You can consider investing in tax-saving Mutual Funds like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme). These funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act.

Other tax-saving options include Public Provident Fund (PPF), National Savings Certificate (NSC), and Tax-saving Fixed Deposits. These investments provide tax benefits and help in building a long-term corpus.

Fixed Deposits and Bonds
Fixed Deposits (FDs) offer safety and guaranteed returns. However, they provide lower returns compared to other investment options. Since you already have Rs. 12 lakhs in FDs, consider keeping a portion for emergency funds.

You can also explore bonds as an alternative to FDs. Bonds offer fixed interest income and are relatively safe. Investing in government or corporate bonds can provide better returns compared to FDs.

Importance of Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial stability. It acts as a safety net in case of unforeseen expenses. It is advisable to keep 6 to 12 months of your monthly expenses in a liquid fund or a savings account.

Since you already have FDs, you can use a portion of them as your emergency fund. This ensures that you have immediate access to funds in case of emergencies.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Rebalancing is crucial to maintain the desired risk level in your portfolio. Since your portfolio is heavily invested in stocks, it is wise to rebalance it.

Consider reducing exposure to stocks and reallocating funds to other asset classes like Mutual Funds, bonds, and FDs. This will help in reducing risk and ensuring stable returns.

Long-Term Investment Strategy
A long-term investment strategy is essential for wealth creation. It allows your investments to grow over time through the power of compounding. Your current portfolio shows a mix of long-term and short-term investments.

It is important to align your investments with your financial goals. Consider setting specific goals like retirement, children’s education, and buying a house. Based on these goals, you can choose suitable investment options and allocate funds accordingly.

Risk Management
Risk management is an integral part of financial planning. It ensures that your investments are protected from unforeseen risks. Since stocks are volatile, it is wise to have a mix of safe investments in your portfolio.

Investing in debt funds, bonds, and FDs can help in reducing overall risk. It is also important to have adequate insurance coverage to protect against unforeseen events.

Importance of Regular Monitoring
Regular monitoring of your investments is crucial for achieving your financial goals. It allows you to track the performance of your investments and make necessary adjustments.

Consider reviewing your portfolio at least once a year. This will help in identifying underperforming assets and reallocating funds to better-performing options.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation. They can help in creating a comprehensive financial plan that aligns with your goals.

Consulting a professional ensures that your investments are optimized for maximum returns with minimum risk. They can also provide guidance on tax-saving strategies and retirement planning.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio is skewed towards stocks, which are unpredictable. Diversification is key to achieving financial stability and growth.

Consider reallocating your investments to Mutual Funds, bonds, and tax-saving instruments. This will help in reducing risk and ensuring better returns.

Regular investment through SIPs and rebalancing your portfolio will keep you on track to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
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Anu Krishna  |1482 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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I am Lisha a kg teacher. I have debt of 40 lakhs. I have net income 25000. How can I manage to recover from debt? Please reply
Ans: Understanding the Debt Situation

You have a total debt of Rs. 40 lakhs.

Your net income is Rs. 25,000 per month.

Managing this situation requires planning, discipline, and action.

The key focus should be reducing high-interest loans first.

Increasing income is also necessary to speed up debt repayment.

Prioritising Debt Repayment

List all loans with their interest rates and EMI amounts.

Identify which loans have the highest interest rates.

Prioritise paying off the costliest loan first.

If you have multiple high-interest loans, consider debt consolidation.

Avoid taking new loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.

Reducing Monthly Interest Burden

Rs. 40 lakh debt with Rs. 25,000 income is a serious imbalance.

Your monthly interest burden alone can be unmanageable.

Speak with lenders and request lower interest rates.

Negotiate for an extended loan tenure to reduce EMI.

Avoid late payments to prevent penalties and additional charges.

Earning More Income

With Rs. 25,000 monthly income, repaying Rs. 40 lakh is tough.

Look for additional income sources, even part-time jobs.

Explore online tutoring, weekend coaching, or freelance work.

If possible, upskill to apply for a higher-paying job.

Can you take extra classes at school for additional earnings?

Find small home-based businesses like craft-making or baking.

Use any skills you have to create an extra income stream.

Cutting Down Expenses

Reduce unnecessary expenses wherever possible.

Limit non-essential spending like dining out, entertainment, and subscriptions.

Look for cheaper alternatives for daily expenses.

Create a strict monthly budget and track every expense.

Save on electricity, fuel, and shopping wherever possible.

Avoid personal luxuries until your financial situation improves.

Seeking Family Support

If possible, take help from family members.

Can they provide an interest-free loan for partial debt payment?

Even a small contribution can reduce your debt burden.

Family members may also help with daily expenses for some time.

Transparent communication with them is important.

Avoiding Traps of Loan Apps & Credit Cards

Avoid borrowing from mobile loan apps due to high interest.

Credit cards should not be used for cash withdrawals.

Paying only the minimum due on a credit card leads to more debt.

If you have credit card debt, clear it first due to high interest.

Stick to formal financial institutions for loans.

Exploring Debt Restructuring Options

If you have a bank loan, check if restructuring is possible.

Some banks allow restructuring in financial hardship cases.

This can reduce EMI or provide a temporary relief period.

Approach your lenders with a genuine repayment plan.

Avoid defaulting, as it can hurt your credit score.

Avoiding High-Risk Investments

Do not fall for quick-money schemes or gambling.

Avoid investments that promise unrealistically high returns.

Avoid stock market trading without proper knowledge.

Focus on steady income generation instead of risky bets.

Checking for Any Insurance Policies

If you have LIC, ULIP, or investment-linked insurance, review them.

If surrendering makes sense, reinvest the amount wisely.

Do not stop health insurance, as medical emergencies can worsen finances.

Creating a Step-by-Step Debt Repayment Plan

Pay the minimum due on all loans to avoid penalties.

Focus on repaying the highest-interest loan first.

Negotiate lower interest rates with lenders.

Increase income through side jobs.

Reduce unnecessary expenses to save money.

Explore options like debt consolidation if suitable.

Seek family support where possible.

Avoid new loans unless absolutely necessary.

Finally

Your financial situation is tough but not impossible to fix.

With discipline and effort, debt repayment is possible.

Every small step in saving and earning will help.

Avoid financial mistakes and stay committed to the plan.

With time, your financial situation will improve.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7831 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Money
At the age of 35 I had 15 lakhs saving, but due a surgery at home I had to almost empty it, on top of it even I had gone through and surgery plus even my father too ( all three generations nero issue) from +15 I went to 25lakhs of debt From various apps and financial sector. I was able to settle few loans and credits but still my outstanding is approx 20 lakhs. My monthly income is 25000 and my only intrest per month is 12500 How do I get of it asap, as living a normal life seems magic.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging, but not impossible to fix. With a structured approach, discipline, and patience, you can come out of this debt and regain financial stability. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get back on track.

Understanding the Current Financial Situation
You had Rs. 15 lakhs in savings, but due to medical emergencies, your finances took a hit.

Now, you are left with Rs. 20 lakhs of debt, with an income of Rs. 25,000 per month.

Your monthly interest alone is Rs. 12,500, which is eating up 50% of your earnings.

The key priority should be reducing interest burden and increasing cash flow.

Steps to Reduce Your Debt Faster
1. Stop Borrowing More Money
Do not take new loans to pay old loans.

Avoid borrowing from friends or family unless it is interest-free and comes with no pressure.

Stay away from personal loans, credit card loans, and payday loans, as they have high interest rates.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Loans First
List down all your loans and interest rates.

Pay off loans with the highest interest rate first.

If possible, negotiate with lenders for lower interest rates.

3. Consolidate Loans for Lower Interest Rate
Check if a bank can give you a low-interest personal loan to clear high-cost debts.

If you have a good credit history, you may get a balance transfer facility on credit cards or personal loans.

Consider a secured loan against any assets, but only if the interest rate is much lower.

4. Increase Your Monthly EMI Payment
Paying only the minimum EMI will keep you stuck in debt for years.

Try increasing your EMI by even Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month to reduce the loan tenure.

Any extra income, bonus, or gift money should go towards clearing debt first.

Boosting Income to Tackle Debt
5. Explore Part-Time Work or Freelancing
A second source of income can help you clear your debt faster.

Consider freelancing, online tutoring, content writing, data entry, or delivery jobs.

If possible, take up overtime or extra shifts at work.

6. Use Your Skills to Earn More
Identify any skills that can help you earn extra money.

If you have a talent for repair work, photography, teaching, or writing, offer your services.

Even small extra earnings of Rs. 5,000-10,000 per month can speed up debt repayment.

7. Rent Out Assets for Passive Income
If you have an extra room, vehicle, or any asset, consider renting it.

This can bring in some cash flow without extra effort.

Cutting Expenses to Free Up More Cash
8. Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Track every rupee spent and eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Stop eating out, buying expensive clothes, or making impulsive purchases.

Switch to cheaper alternatives for groceries, transport, and entertainment.

9. Pause Investments Until Debt is Cleared
Right now, clearing debt should be the priority over investing.

Stop SIPs or investments temporarily and resume them once debts are under control.

Avoid risky investments like stocks or crypto, as losses can worsen your situation.

10. Negotiate Bills and Cut Fixed Costs
Talk to your landlord, service providers, and utility companies for possible discounts.

If possible, shift to a smaller house or a cheaper location to save on rent.

Reduce electricity, water, and mobile bills by using them wisely.

Managing Financial Stress and Mental Health
11. Accept the Situation Without Guilt
Medical emergencies are unpredictable, and you did what was needed for your family.

Do not feel guilty or blame yourself. Instead, focus on the solution.

12. Involve Your Family in Financial Planning
If you have a spouse, siblings, or parents who can help, discuss the situation with them.

They may not be able to give money, but they can support in other ways.

13. Stay Positive and Focused
Financial stress is tough, but worrying too much will not solve the problem.

Stay focused on taking action every month to improve your situation.

Celebrate small wins like closing one loan or saving an extra Rs. 1,000.

Long-Term Financial Stability
14. Build an Emergency Fund Once Debt is Cleared
After clearing debt, start saving at least Rs. 2,000 per month as an emergency fund.

This will help in handling future emergencies without taking loans.

15. Invest Smartly for Future Growth
Once financially stable, invest wisely in well-managed mutual funds for long-term wealth.

Avoid financial products with hidden charges like ULIPs or endowment plans.

16. Get Proper Health Insurance
Medical expenses caused the current debt. Invest in health insurance to prevent this in the future.

Look for affordable policies covering major illnesses.

Finally
The journey out of debt is difficult but achievable with the right approach.

Focus on reducing high-interest loans, earning more, and cutting unnecessary expenses.

Take small steps each month, and within a few years, you will be debt-free and financially stable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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