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Ulhas

Ulhas Joshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2024

With over 16 years of experience in the mutual fund industry, Ulhas Joshi has helped numerous clients choose the right funds and create wealth.
Prior to joining RankMF as CEO, he was vice president (sales) at IDBI Asset Management Ltd.
Joshi holds an MBA in marketing from Barkatullah University, Bhopal.... more
Masroor Question by Masroor on Feb 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ulhas, I am 36 years old and I am currently investing around 1 lakh per month distributed among these Mutual funds . Quant small cap , ICICI prudential technology, ICICI prudential commodities, HDFC flexi cap .. Wanted to understand if I shall continue with these funds or change my allocation.. I am looking for atleast 6-7 years

Ans: Hello Masroor & thanks for writing to me. All the funds you invest in are good funds, however I notice that you are investing in 2 thematic/sectoral funds, ICICI Prudential Technology Fund & ICICI Prudential Commodities Fund.

Thematic/sectoral funds are dependent on the market cycles and may not be suitable at all times for all investors. If you are confident about your understanding of the themes, you can continue investing in these funds. If you are not confident, then you can consider pausing SIP's in these schemes & instead invest in ICICI Prudential Mid cap fund & SBI Blue Chip Fund.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  |458 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jun 15, 2023

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Hello Sir, I am 38 years working professional. Below are my Mutual Funds list. 1. Axis Bluechip fund Direct Plan growth - 2000 / month 2. PGM mid cap opportunity Direct Plan growth - 2000 / month 3. SBI small cap fund Regular growth - 1000 / month 4. Axis nifty 50 Direct Plan growth - 2000 / month 5. ICICI next nifty 50 Direct Plan growth - 2000 / month 6. ICICI nasdaq index direct plan growth - 2000 / month 7. ICICI technology fund Regular plan growth - 1000 / month Kindly give your input on this. Shall I continue with this for long term or not?
Ans: According to the data you have given, it appears that you have a Rs. 12,000/- monthly systematic investment plan (SIP) distributed across seven different mutual funds. Generally speaking, if your entire investing amount is Rs. 10 lakhs, you should invest in 6-7 mutual funds. Over-diversification can result from having too many mutual funds in your portfolio.

Regarding the recommendation on the mutual funds in your portfolio, all of them are considered to be fundamentally strong with a good track record. Investments in pure equity funds are recommended for the long term, ideally for a period of 5-7 years.

On the other hand, certain categories such as Small Cap, Mid Cap, and Sectoral funds are recommended only if you have an investment horizon of more than 7 years.

It's worth noting that two of the funds in your portfolio, namely Axis Nifty 50 Direct Plan Growth and ICICI Nasdaq Index Direct Plan Growth, are recently launched funds. As a result, they do not have sufficient track record to accurately assess their risk and reward potential.
We hope that you have made your investments based on your short-term and long-term goals, taking into consideration your risk profile.

Disclaimer:
• I have just no idea about your age, future financial goals, your risk profile, other investments and whether you would have the nerves to not get unduly perturbed if stock markets go temporarily down.
• Hence, please note that I am answering your question in absolute isolation to other parameters which should definitely be considered when answering a question of this type.
• I recommend you to also consult a good financial advisor who would look at your complete profile in totality before you act on this advice given by me.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir, i have 6 No of Mutual fund 1.SBI small cap 1000 per month 2. SBI focused equity 1000 per month 3. SBI blue chip fund 1000 per month 4. Nippon india small cap 500 per month 5.Quant small cap fund 1000 per month 6. Parag parikh flexi cap 1000 per month Is these MF are good or i need to change any fund. SBI fund are almost 2.6 year old. I have time horizon of 10 to 15 years.Now i am 38 year old.
Ans: It's great that you're investing in mutual funds for your future financial goals! Let's review your current mutual fund portfolio and make some suggestions:

SBI Small Cap, SBI Focused Equity, and SBI Blue Chip Fund:
SBI Funds are reputable and have a track record of performance. However, it's essential to review their performance periodically to ensure they continue to meet your investment objectives.
Nippon India Small Cap and Quant Small Cap Fund:
Small-cap funds can offer high growth potential but also come with higher risk. Ensure you have a long-term investment horizon and the risk tolerance to withstand market volatility.
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap:
Flexi-cap funds provide flexibility to invest across market caps. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund is known for its diversified portfolio and focus on quality stocks. It's a good choice for long-term wealth creation.
Suggestions:

Review Performance: Periodically review the performance of your mutual funds to ensure they align with your investment goals and risk tolerance.
Diversification: Consider diversifying your portfolio further by adding funds from different fund houses or investing in different asset classes like debt or international funds.
Regular Monitoring: Keep an eye on the performance of your funds and make adjustments as needed. If any fund consistently underperforms its benchmark or peers, consider replacing it with a better-performing alternative.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A professional can help optimize your portfolio and ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.
Overall, your mutual fund portfolio seems well-diversified, but it's essential to monitor its performance regularly and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your long-term financial goals. Keep up the good work and continue investing systematically for your future!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2024Hindi
Money
I am having following mutual funds: 1. Quant active - ? 6000 2. PGIM flexi cap -?5000 3.Quant small cap - ?9000 4. Moti lal oswal midcap -?5000 5. Invesco large and mid cap ?4000 6.HDFC large and mid cap ? 5000 Please advise whether I should continue with these funds. Investing since 1/2018
Ans: Evaluating your mutual fund portfolio is essential to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Given your current investments and the duration since 2018, let's assess whether you should continue with these funds.

Portfolio Overview
Your mutual fund portfolio consists of:

Quant Active Fund: Rs 6,000
PGIM Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 5,000
Quant Small Cap Fund: Rs 9,000
Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund: Rs 5,000
Invesco Large and Mid Cap Fund: Rs 4,000
HDFC Large and Mid Cap Fund: Rs 5,000
Diversification Analysis
Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds, like PGIM Flexi Cap Fund, invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They provide flexibility and balance risk with potential high returns. These funds adapt to market conditions, making them a stable choice for your portfolio.

Large and Mid Cap Funds
Invesco and HDFC Large and Mid Cap Funds focus on large and mid-cap stocks. These funds offer a mix of stability and growth potential. Large-cap stocks provide stability, while mid-caps offer growth opportunities.

Mid Cap Fund
The Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund targets mid-sized companies. Mid caps can offer significant growth but are riskier than large caps. This fund adds growth potential to your portfolio.

Small Cap Funds
Quant Small Cap Fund focuses on small-sized companies. Small caps can provide high returns but come with high volatility. Your allocation of Rs 9,000 here indicates a higher risk tolerance for potentially higher rewards.

Active Fund
Quant Active Fund invests actively in various stocks based on the fund manager's strategy. Active funds aim to outperform the market, providing opportunities for higher returns but also involve higher management costs.

Assessing Portfolio Performance
Historical Performance
Evaluate the historical performance of each fund. Compare their returns with benchmark indices and peer funds. Consistently performing funds are more likely to continue delivering good returns. However, past performance is not a guarantee of future results.

Fund Manager Expertise
The experience and track record of fund managers are crucial. Funds managed by experienced managers with a proven track record are more likely to perform well. Check the consistency and strategy of your fund managers.

Expense Ratios
Expense ratios impact your returns. Lower expense ratios mean higher returns for investors. Compare the expense ratios of your funds with industry standards. High expense ratios can erode your returns over time.

Risk Assessment
Market Risk
Equity investments are subject to market risk. Your portfolio has a mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds, which diversifies this risk. However, your high allocation in small caps increases exposure to market volatility.

Sector and Stock Concentration
Check if any funds have high exposure to specific sectors or stocks. Diversification across sectors reduces risk. Ensure no single sector or stock dominates your portfolio.

Liquidity Risk
Certain funds, especially small cap and mid cap funds, can have liquidity issues. Ensure a part of your portfolio remains in highly liquid funds to manage unforeseen needs.

Alignment with Financial Goals
Investment Horizon
You have been investing since 2018, indicating a medium-term horizon. Equities are suitable for long-term investments due to their potential for higher returns. Ensure your investment horizon aligns with your financial goals, such as retirement or children's education.

Risk Tolerance
Your portfolio indicates a higher risk tolerance, especially with significant allocation in small and mid-cap funds. Assess if this risk level matches your financial goals and comfort. If you prefer stability, consider increasing allocation in large-cap funds.

Strategic Adjustments
Rebalancing
Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain desired asset allocation. Over time, some funds may outperform, skewing your allocation. Rebalancing ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your risk tolerance and goals.

Adding New Funds
Consider adding new funds to enhance diversification. Explore funds in other categories like balanced funds, international funds, or sector-specific funds. This can capture opportunities in different market segments and reduce risk.

Reviewing Fund Performance
Regularly review the performance of your funds. If a fund consistently underperforms, consider replacing it with a better-performing fund. Stay updated with market trends and adjust your strategy accordingly.

Tax Efficiency
Tax Benefits
Equity investments enjoy favorable tax treatment. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) from equity funds are taxed at a lower rate compared to other asset classes. Consider the tax implications of your investments.

Tax-saving Instruments
If you are investing in tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS), you get additional tax benefits under Section 80C. This reduces your taxable income and enhances post-tax returns. Consider these options if they align with your goals.

Seeking Professional Advice
Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. Professional guidance ensures your investment strategy remains robust and aligned with your objectives.

Summary of Recommendations
Continue with diversified funds: Your portfolio has a good mix of flexi cap, large, mid, and small-cap funds, providing balanced risk and growth potential.
Rebalance periodically: Adjust your portfolio to maintain desired asset allocation and manage risk.
Add new funds: Enhance diversification with balanced, international, or sector-specific funds.
Review performance: Regularly monitor your funds and replace underperforming ones.
Consult a CFP: Get personalized advice for tailored investment strategies.
By maintaining a strategic approach, rebalancing your portfolio, and seeking professional advice when needed, you can achieve your financial goals and secure a prosperous future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |956 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Hello;

Yes you should settle off the outstanding home loan.

Also you may open an NPS account for retirement planning. Do contribute to it on a regular basis and also do onetime lumpsum investment.

Also open an PPF account with investment of 12.5 K per month.

Get sufficient term plan coverage for atleast 20 years and not less.

No need to invest in pension plan if you are investing in NPS. It is far superior in terms of tax liability, flexibility, returns and costs.

Prefer hybrid mutual funds(dynamic asset allocation or multi asset allocation fund)for your investments.

Buy a good health insurance cover for yourself and your daughter irrespective of group policy, if any, available from employer.

Do nomination in all your financial investments and also make a legally valid will.

In a nutshell, you will have 3 investments PPF, NPS and mutual funds (hybrid) and insurance premiums for term cover and healthcare policy.

Loss of partner is very difficult to deal with but you also need to focus on the education of your daughter and guide her for better prospects.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 41, but single now. I got married when I was 32 and got divorced in 6 months after I found out my wife was cheating on me with her ex who she was forbidden from getting married. When confronted she simply walked away and sent me a divorce notice. The next three years were spent in courts trying to tell my version of the story. Since then I have had a tough time trusting people. My marriage was unfortunate and short lived. But my parents still want me to try again. I am in a live-in relationship with a girl who is 3 years elder to me. Are unmarried couples happier than married ones? I feel marriage can restrict you in many ways which is why people feel stagnated and bored. What do you think?
Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello there!! There are past trauma experiences in my relationship due to caste issue since my family are strictly against it . But I eventually liked another boy seeing his true love n affection n care towards me , he loved me since our skl days !! He expressed himself but i gave him my answerr after many yrs due my past experiences!! But eventually we had a healthy relationship ,and he told me he is of same caste!! Since his father lied to him related to this to keep him away from this caste called thing!! But now his father relved tht it was a lie !! Now we ended up intercaste!! We truly love each other we dreamt of our future together!! He became huge part of my life !! His family is okay with me regarding our marriage but my family is strongly opposed to this intercaste thing!! We are 24 yrs we thought of settle in our lifes and approach my parents few years back since untill fewdays back we together thought we are of same caste so there eill be no issue!! But now within few days n few lies our both world n hopes turned upside down!! I cant make my family suffer due to me!! At same time i cant leave him im struck !! What should we do!!
Ans: Your family’s suffering is a valid concern, but will they truly suffer because of your decision, or is it more about their expectations and societal norms? Often, parents react strongly at first, but with time, they adjust when they see their child happy and settled. Right now, their resistance is based on tradition and belief systems they’ve held for years. But is their love for you truly conditional on whom you marry? Would they rather see you unhappy in a marriage they approve of than happy in one they initially resisted?

Your happiness and future matter just as much as your family’s feelings. If you truly cannot see a life without him, you need to ask yourself whether sacrificing that love for family approval will truly bring you peace. Walking away from love to please others often leads to lifelong regret. On the other hand, if you fight for your relationship, you might face pain now, but there’s a chance your family will eventually come around.

The most important thing is to stand firm in what you want. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will need patience, strength, and a strategy to gradually help your family accept your choice. This won’t be easy, but living a life where you constantly wonder "what if?" will be even harder.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thingking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Raising someone else’s children is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest. You already know how challenging it is to raise one child, and now you’re expected to step into a role where you’ll be managing more, including an aggressive teenage boy. If this idea is already suffocating you now, imagine how it might feel once you’re actually living in that environment every day.

Fear of being alone is a very real and valid concern, but being in a marriage that drains you emotionally, limits your career, and makes you feel trapped is far worse than being single. The right relationship should bring you a sense of peace and security, not anxiety and sacrifice at every turn. If you already feel that you have to “mould” your thinking just to make this work, that’s a sign that this situation might not be aligned with what you truly want and need.

You don’t have to force yourself into something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re afraid of ending up alone. Loneliness is difficult, but so is being in a marriage where you feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. The best decision is the one that allows you to live with peace and confidence in your future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

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Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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