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Vivek

Vivek Lala  |323 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2024

Vivek Lala has been working as a tax planner since 2018. His expertise lies in making personalised tax budgets and tax forecasts for individuals. As a tax advisor, he takes pride in simplifying tax complications for his clients using simple, easy-to-understand language.
Lala cleared his chartered accountancy exam in 2018 and completed his articleship with Chaturvedi and Shah. ... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ramalingam Sir, My brother lost huge amount in stock trading. He has to sell his house, gold and other assets to repay the loans. Still, he has huge debt to be cleared. i kept on supporting him from long back. i supported small amounts to him multiple times. Now, he needs around 15L to clear his debts and i decided to give that amount considering his family and kids. In his childhood my brother supported my parents financially. Considering all these, i decide to help him by giving these amount to clear his debts. Can i transfer these 15L to his account through NEFT or RTGS? will these be taxable? these 15L are out of savings from my salary and my wife salary. Thanks.

Ans: Hello, you can transfer any amount to your brother from your account to his and it's not taxable
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Hardik

Hardik Parikh  | Answer  |Ask -

Tax, Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Apr 19, 2023

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Sir, My father deceased in December, 2022 and as a nominee I have received an amount of Rs.20 lakhs from his PPF account and Rs.7.90 lakhs from his FD in the bank. I want to transfer this amount to my Mother's account. She is retired Govt. officer and filing IT returns for her income every year. Sir, can I transfer whole amount of Rs.20 lakhs and Rs.7.90 through RTGS to my mother's account. I want to know that in future will there be any query/AIR from IT deptt. from me or from my mother relating to the transaction done by me. My father was Govt. retiree and Income Tax payee and had filed all IT returns upto FY 2021-22. Sir please guide in this regard so that there is no issue being raised by IT deptt for transfer of amount from my account to my Mother's account. I am also a Govt. Employee. Kindly give your valued advise.
Ans: Dear Amit,

You can absolutely transfer the entire amount of Rs. 20 lakhs from your father's PPF account and Rs. 7.90 lakhs from his FD to your mother's account through RTGS. Since your father was a regular Income Tax payer and had filed all his IT returns up to FY 2021-22, there should be no issues related to the legitimacy of the funds being transferred.

However, to ensure a hassle-free experience with the Income Tax Department in the future, I recommend taking the following steps:

Keep a record of the source of the funds, i.e., the PPF account and FD account details, as well as any supporting documents like your father's death certificate, nominee declaration, and bank statements.
When your mother files her Income Tax return for the relevant financial year, make sure to disclose these amounts as gifts received from you, her son, as gifts received from relatives are exempt from tax. You can provide the details of the source of funds and the reason for the transfer (i.e., inheritance) in the notes section of her return, if applicable.
If your mother earns any interest or income from these amounts, she should include that in her taxable income and pay the applicable taxes.
It would be helpful to consult a tax professional to ensure that all the necessary documentation and disclosures are made properly in both your and your mother's tax returns.
By following these steps, you should be able to avoid any queries or issues from the Income Tax Department regarding the transfer of funds from your account to your mother's account.

I hope this helps.

Take care.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir I have 18 years old son started to college , I would like to transfer 10-15 lacs from my corpus to his to start MF and FD investment for longer run. what sort of precautionary measure to take to avoid any tax complications later. Thank you Kumar
Ans: Kumar,

Investing in your son’s future is a wise and caring move. To ensure smooth and efficient management, here are comprehensive steps and precautions for transferring funds into mutual funds and fixed deposits, along with ways to avoid tax complications later on.

Understanding the Investment Landscape
Investing in mutual funds and fixed deposits (FDs) can be highly beneficial. Each has its own advantages, risks, and growth potential. Let’s delve into both to understand them better.

Mutual Funds
Advantages:

Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a wide range of securities, reducing risk.

Professional Management: Fund managers use their expertise to manage your investments.

Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell mutual fund units as needed.

Power of Compounding: Long-term investments can significantly grow due to compounding.

Categories:

Equity Funds: Higher risk and higher returns, ideal for long-term goals.

Debt Funds: Lower risk, stable returns, good for short to medium-term goals.

Hybrid Funds: Mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and reward.

Risks:

Market Risk: The value of investments can fluctuate based on market conditions.

Interest Rate Risk: Changes in interest rates can affect debt funds' performance.

Inflation Risk: Returns may not always keep pace with inflation, affecting purchasing power.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)
Advantages:

Safety: FDs are considered safe with assured returns.

Fixed Returns: Interest rates are locked in, providing predictable income.

Tax Benefits: Some FDs offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act.

Risks:

Lower Returns: FDs generally offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Liquidity: Early withdrawal can result in penalties.

Steps for Investing in Your Son's Name
1. Open a Bank Account
First, ensure your son has a bank account. This is essential for all subsequent investments and transactions. Ensure the account is in his name, with you as the guardian, if needed.

2. Open a Demat and Trading Account
For investing in mutual funds, a Demat and trading account in your son’s name is crucial. This facilitates easy purchase, holding, and selling of mutual fund units.

3. Know Your Customer (KYC) Compliance
Complete the KYC process for your son. KYC is mandatory for mutual fund investments. It involves submitting identity and address proofs, and your son needs to be compliant to invest.

4. Nomination
Ensure that a nomination is set up. It ensures smooth transfer of funds in case of unforeseen circumstances. You can be the nominee or appoint someone you trust.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds
Choosing the Right Funds:

Long-Term Goals: For long-term investments, equity mutual funds are ideal. They offer higher returns over time due to market growth and compounding.

Balanced Approach: Consider hybrid funds for a mix of equity and debt. They balance risk and provide steady growth.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds: Invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). Regular funds managed by a CFP offer professional advice and management, ensuring better growth and risk management compared to direct funds.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

SIP Benefits: Encourage your son to start a SIP. It promotes disciplined investing, averaging out market volatility, and leveraging the power of compounding.
Fixed Deposits
Laddering Strategy:

Laddering FDs: Divide the investment into multiple FDs with different maturities. This ensures liquidity and better management of interest rate risks.

Reinvestment: Upon maturity, reinvest the FD for continued growth. Align maturity dates with future financial needs.

Tax Considerations
Clubbing of Income
Avoid Clubbing:

Minor’s Income: Income earned by a minor is clubbed with the parent’s income. To avoid this, ensure the investments are in your son’s name post attaining majority.

Transfer Post-Majority: If your son is 18, transfer investments to his name directly. This prevents income clubbing, reducing your tax burden.

Gift Tax
Exemptions:

Gifts to Son: Any amount transferred to your son is exempt from gift tax. Utilize this exemption to transfer funds without any tax implications.
Capital Gains Tax
Long-Term and Short-Term Gains:

Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1 lakh in a financial year are taxed at 10%. Short-term gains are taxed at 15%.

Hybrid Debt Funds: LTCG on debt funds are taxed at 20% with indexation benefits. Short-term gains are added to your income and taxed as per the applicable slab.

Tax-Saving Strategies
Tax-Saving Funds:

ELSS: Consider investing in Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS). It offers tax benefits under Section 80C and potential for good returns.

5-Year FDs: Invest in tax-saving FDs with a 5-year lock-in period. They offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

Monitoring and Review
Regular Monitoring
Track Performance: Regularly monitor the performance of your investments. Use online tools and apps to stay updated.

Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of the portfolio. Adjust allocations based on market conditions and financial goals.

Rebalancing
Maintain Balance: Rebalance the portfolio periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation. This ensures optimal growth and risk management.

Avoid Emotional Decisions: Stay focused on long-term goals. Avoid making investment decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.

Ensuring Smooth Transfer of Assets
Nomination and Will
Nomination:

Nomination: Ensure nominations are updated for all investments. This simplifies the transfer process in case of unforeseen events.
Will:

Draft a Will: Draft a will clearly stating the distribution of assets. This ensures that your son receives the intended investments without legal hassles.
Power of Attorney
Legal Authorization:

Power of Attorney: Consider granting a power of attorney to a trusted person. This ensures that your investments are managed smoothly in case of any incapacity.
Final Insights
Investing in your son's future through mutual funds and fixed deposits is a commendable decision. It provides financial security and helps build a substantial corpus over time. By understanding the advantages and risks associated with mutual funds and fixed deposits, you can make informed decisions.

Remember, mutual funds offer professional management, diversification, and the power of compounding, making them suitable for long-term growth. Fixed deposits, on the other hand, provide safety and fixed returns, ideal for conservative investors.

Ensure all investments are in your son’s name to avoid clubbing of income and utilize the gift tax exemptions effectively. Opt for tax-saving instruments like ELSS and 5-year FDs to optimize tax benefits.

Regularly monitor and review the portfolio, rebalancing it to maintain the desired asset allocation. Update nominations and draft a will to ensure a smooth transfer of assets.

By following these steps, you can secure your son’s financial future, allowing him to focus on his education and career without worrying about finances. You are setting a strong foundation for his future, and that is truly admirable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Money
Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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