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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir ,I am 50 years old and a government servant in Rajasthan having served the department for 21 years now with 12 years of service still remaining . I own a house which is almost debt free, have invested in sip’s ,which are small amount but in different funds which includes SBI blue chip,nippon ,quant small cap fund ,Parag Parikh flexicap .I have one daughter and my wife is also a government teacher.We both would get around one crore each when we retire . My objective now is my daughter’s education,her marriage and post retirement a better life economically. I have family health insurance also despite government providing us with a free of cost health services.In which funds , for long and short term,I should invest to fulfill my future requirements.My job is pensionable.

Ans: It's commendable that you're thinking ahead and planning for your family's future. Here are some tailored suggestions for your financial goals:

For Daughter's Education:
Short-Term (0-5 Years): Consider investing in debt mutual funds or fixed deposits to ensure capital preservation for your daughter's near-term education expenses.
Long-Term (5+ Years): Since your daughter's education is a long-term goal, you can invest in a mix of equity mutual funds with a focus on growth. Look for diversified funds that offer exposure to large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap segments.
For Daughter's Marriage:
Medium to Long-Term (5-15 Years): To accumulate funds for your daughter's marriage, you can allocate a portion of your investments to equity mutual funds with a longer investment horizon. Opt for a combination of large-cap and flexi-cap funds for stability and growth potential.
For Retirement:
Long-Term (12+ Years): As you have a pensionable job, your retirement corpus can supplement your pension income. Invest in a diversified portfolio of equity mutual funds along with a portion allocated to debt funds for stability. Aim for a balanced approach that accounts for both growth and capital preservation.
Fund Selection:
Equity Funds: Look for well-established funds with a consistent track record of performance and a focus on long-term wealth creation. Consider funds with a proven investment strategy and experienced fund managers.
Debt Funds: Choose debt funds that offer a blend of safety and returns suitable for your short-term goals. Opt for funds with a low credit risk and a moderate duration profile.
Balanced Funds: Consider allocating a portion of your investments to balanced funds, which offer a mix of equity and debt exposure. These funds provide diversification and stability to your portfolio.
Risk Management:
Review Regularly: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Make adjustments as needed based on changes in your circumstances or market conditions.
Stay Informed: Stay updated on market trends, economic developments, and investment opportunities. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and navigate financial markets effectively.
Consultation:
Seek Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a certified financial planner to develop a personalized financial plan tailored to your specific needs and objectives. A professional advisor can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you achieve your financial goals effectively.
By following these recommendations and staying disciplined in your investment approach, you can work towards securing a bright and financially stable future for yourself and your family.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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I m 41 Govt service Salary 2.5 lks pm GPF PPF n FD are 1Cr MF n stocks 20 lks Car laon 6lks remained with 8%interest Want to retire by 46 Will get pension around 1.5 lks Need funds for two daughters education right now one is pursuing 7th n other 4th n marriage Suggest financial planning
Ans: You have a solid financial foundation with significant savings in GPF, PPF, and FD. Your mutual funds and stocks add further strength. The car loan is manageable but should be addressed soon. With your pension in place, you are on a good path. However, focusing on specific goals like retirement, your daughters' education, and their marriages will help.

Retirement Planning
You plan to retire at 46, just five years from now. Your expected pension of Rs. 1.5 lakh per month will provide a steady income. However, considering inflation and your lifestyle needs, supplementing this pension with other income streams would be wise.

Evaluate Mutual Fund Portfolio: Ensure your mutual fund investments are aligned with your risk appetite and retirement timeline. Shift from high-risk funds to more stable ones as you near retirement.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): After retirement, consider an SWP from your mutual fund corpus. This can provide additional monthly income, reducing the need to dip into your principal.

Debt Management: Prioritize clearing your car loan of Rs. 6 lakh. Eliminating this debt before retirement will free up more of your pension for essential expenses.

Daughters' Education Planning
Your daughters’ education is a priority, with one in 7th grade and the other in 4th. Education costs can escalate, so planning ahead is crucial.

Dedicated Education Fund: Allocate specific mutual fund investments toward your daughters' education. Choose funds that offer stability and moderate growth over the next 5-10 years.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Consider this scheme for your younger daughter. It offers a secure and tax-free way to save for her future education.

Start an SIP: Begin a systematic investment plan (SIP) in a balanced or hybrid mutual fund. This will grow steadily over the next few years, helping you manage education expenses.

Daughters' Marriage Planning
Marriage is another significant financial goal that requires early planning. Starting now will help accumulate a sizable corpus without straining your finances.

Goal-Based Investment: Open a dedicated mutual fund account for each daughter’s marriage. Choose funds that balance growth and stability, like a mix of large-cap and balanced funds.

Consider Gold: Though not recommended as an investment, gold is often a traditional asset in marriage expenses. If relevant, consider allocating a small portion to Sovereign Gold Bonds.

Health and Insurance
Given your nearing retirement and family responsibilities, health insurance is crucial. Your pension might not cover all medical expenses, especially as you age.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance for yourself and your family. This should cover hospitalization, critical illness, and maternity benefits if required.

Life Insurance Review: Assess your existing life insurance policies. Ensure they provide adequate coverage for your family in your absence. Consider increasing coverage if needed.

Estate Planning
Planning for the distribution of your assets is essential, especially with dependents.

Will and Nomination: Draft a will to ensure your assets are distributed as per your wishes. Make sure all your financial instruments have proper nominations.

Trusts and Legal Considerations: If you wish to ensure your daughters’ education and marriage expenses are covered, consider setting up a trust. This can provide a secure way to manage funds for their future.

Final Insights
You are on a strong financial path with your pension, savings, and investments. By refining your financial strategy, focusing on specific goals, and clearing debts, you can secure your future and your daughters’. A Certified Financial Planner can provide ongoing support as your needs evolve. Take proactive steps now to enjoy a stress-free retirement and ensure your daughters' futures are secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

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I am 40 and plan to accumulate around 7cr in next 10 years. I have 1 cr in mutual fund, 65 lacs in equity. Having sip of 45000 per month. Insurance 5 lacs in ulip having death insurance of 50lac and 10 lac insurance in lic , FD of 35 lacs, PF 19 lac, ppf 1.2 lacs , 1 lac of govt gold bond . cash in bank of 10 lacs.have some amount approx 20 lac which are on loanto relatives will get back in 2 years having 2 children of age daughter 10 and son 5 years .Please advise which funds to invest in.I have one home of approx 3 cr in gr Noida and one property in yamuna expressway authority of approx current value 2.5 cr.i am having salary of 1 lac. Investing 10k in vpf.
Ans: Current Financial Snapshot
You have a diverse portfolio.

You have investments in mutual funds, equity, insurance, FD, PF, PPF, and gold bonds.

You also own properties in Greater Noida and Yamuna Expressway.

You have a good monthly salary and a structured SIP.

Your financial goals are clear.

Asset Allocation Evaluation
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 1 crore in mutual funds.

This is a strong investment, but diversification within mutual funds can be improved.

Consider including a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Actively managed funds can offer better returns than index funds due to expert management.

Equity
Rs 65 lakhs in direct equity is commendable.

Ensure you regularly review your portfolio.

Rebalance based on market conditions and company performance.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
You have a SIP of Rs 45,000 per month.

This is a disciplined approach.

Consider increasing your SIP amount gradually.

This will help you achieve your goal of Rs 7 crore in 10 years.

Insurance
You have ULIP and LIC policies.

ULIPs often have high charges and low returns.

Consider surrendering your ULIP and reinvesting in mutual funds.

LIC policies are good for insurance but not for investment.

Evaluate if term insurance can provide better coverage at a lower cost.

Fixed Deposits (FD)
You have Rs 35 lakhs in FD.

FDs are safe but offer low returns.

Consider diversifying a portion of this into higher-yield investments.

Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF)
You have Rs 19 lakhs in PF and Rs 1.2 lakhs in PPF.

These are excellent for long-term, tax-free returns.

Continue with your contributions to PPF.

Gold Bonds
Rs 1 lakh in government gold bonds is a good hedge.

Gold is a good diversification tool.

Cash in Bank
You have Rs 10 lakhs in the bank.

Keep sufficient liquidity for emergencies.

Consider moving excess funds to higher-yield investments.

Loans to Relatives
You have Rs 20 lakhs given as a loan to relatives.

Ensure you have a clear agreement for repayment.

Reinvest this amount once received.

Real Estate
You own properties worth Rs 5.5 crore.

These are significant assets.

Keep them for long-term appreciation.

Investment Strategy Recommendations
Diversify Mutual Funds
Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Actively managed funds can provide better returns.

Increase SIP
Increase your SIP amount to Rs 50,000 or more.

This accelerates wealth accumulation.

Rebalance Portfolio
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio.

Shift funds based on performance and market conditions.

Evaluate Insurance Needs
Consider term insurance for better coverage.

Reinvest savings from ULIP in mutual funds.

Fixed Deposit Diversification
Move a portion of FD to mutual funds.

This can yield higher returns over time.

Continue Provident Fund Contributions
Keep contributing to PF and PPF.

These are tax-efficient and offer stable returns.

Maintain Gold Investments
Keep investing in gold bonds.

Gold provides a good hedge against market volatility.

Plan for Loan Repayment
Ensure timely repayment of loans to relatives.

Reinvest the recovered amount strategically.

Final Insights
Your goal of Rs 7 crore in 10 years is achievable.

Diversify and rebalance your investments.

Increase SIP gradually.

Evaluate and optimize insurance coverage.

Maintain liquidity but seek higher returns on excess funds.

Plan and invest wisely for your children's future.

Regular review and disciplined investing are key.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Money
I am 49 years old working in private sector. Currently, drawing Rs. 1.50 lakhs per month, my investment details. - Lumpsum investment – canara robeco midcap regular – Rs.2 lakhs, union multicap fund –Rs.1 lakh, mahindra Manulife small cap rs.2 lakh; canara robeco multi cap Rs.2.20 lakhs; mahindra Manulife business cycle fund – Rs. 50,000; white oak capital large & mid cap fund – Rs. 100,000; ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund – rs. 100,000 - SIP – HDFC Defence fund – Rs. 10,000; mahindra manulife manufacturing fund – Rs.10000; white oak special opportunities fund 10,000 - FD with HDFC bank – rs. 12,00,000 - LIC – Rs. 10 lakhs My future expenditure, daughters marriage in 3 to 4 years and to purchase house in chennai and to save money for retirement. Please give me advice on how to invest so that I can meet my future demands and have a self-sufficient retirement.
Ans: Assessment of Current Investments
Mutual Funds

Your portfolio has a good mix of midcap, multicap, small-cap, and sectoral funds.
Diversification across different fund categories is appreciable.
However, the allocation to thematic and sectoral funds like defence, manufacturing, and energy is high.
Sectoral funds can be volatile and risky, especially for near-term goals.
Fixed Deposit (FD)

Rs. 12 lakh in FD provides stability and liquidity.
FDs are suitable for short-term needs but offer limited growth potential.
LIC Policy

The LIC policy provides Rs. 10 lakh, likely covering insurance and investment.
Such policies usually yield lower returns than mutual funds.
Future Financial Goals
Daughter’s Marriage (3–4 years)

Allocate funds with a low-risk profile for this goal.
Avoid high exposure to equity for this purpose.
House Purchase in Chennai

Save in instruments that offer both safety and moderate returns.
Flexibility and liquidity are important for this goal.
Retirement Corpus

Focus on long-term equity investments for growth.
Diversify to balance returns and risk.
Proposed Investment Strategy
Short-Term Goals (Daughter’s Marriage and House Purchase)
Utilise Fixed Deposits Wisely

Allocate a portion of your FD for your daughter’s marriage.
Retain some FD for emergency purposes only.
Invest in Debt Mutual Funds

Choose high-quality short-duration or dynamic bond funds.
Debt funds can provide better post-tax returns than FDs.
Keep the money safe and accessible for short-term use.
Avoid Sectoral and Thematic Funds

Shift sectoral fund investments to safer debt-oriented funds.
Sectoral funds are not suitable for short-term goals.
Medium- to Long-Term Goal (Retirement Planning)
Increase SIP in Diversified Equity Funds

Diversify into flexicap, multicap, or large-cap funds.
These funds balance risk and growth for long-term wealth creation.
Reduce Thematic Fund Allocation

Limit exposure to thematic funds to less than 10% of the portfolio.
Reallocate to well-diversified equity funds.
Invest in Hybrid Funds

Include balanced advantage or hybrid equity funds.
These funds reduce volatility while offering equity-like returns.
Consider Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS)

Invest in ELSS for tax-saving benefits under Section 80C.
ELSS funds also offer long-term growth.
General Recommendations
Review Insurance Policy

Assess if the LIC policy offers adequate life coverage.
If it is a traditional endowment or ULIP, consider surrendering.
Reallocate proceeds to mutual funds for better returns.
Maintain Emergency Fund

Keep 6–12 months’ expenses in a savings account or liquid funds.
This ensures you have liquidity for unforeseen expenses.
Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio

Review your portfolio quarterly or semi-annually.
Rebalance to maintain alignment with your goals.
Focus on Tax Efficiency

Use tax-efficient instruments like ELSS, debt funds, and retirement-focused funds.
Plan withdrawals strategically to reduce tax impact on capital gains.
Retirement Planning Recommendations
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

In the future, use SWP from mutual funds for retirement income.
It provides tax efficiency compared to traditional annuities.
Healthcare Planning

Ensure your health insurance coverage is adequate for post-retirement needs.
Increase coverage if necessary to avoid financial strain later.
Invest in Equity for Growth

Continue investing in equities for long-term wealth appreciation.
Equity helps combat inflation effectively over the years.
Final Insights
Your investment portfolio is commendable and diversified. However, some adjustments can improve alignment with your goals. Reduce sectoral exposure and shift towards safer instruments for short-term needs. For retirement, continue SIPs in diversified equity and hybrid funds. Regular monitoring and rebalancing will keep your financial plan on track. With these changes, you can achieve your goals while ensuring a comfortable and self-sufficient retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |233 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Sep 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 24, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 43 yrs old working in PSU bank having old pension scheme.I have one daughter 10 yrs old. I am investing in HDFC children's gift fund, Sukanya Samriddhi for her education and wedding purpose. I am investing in VPF 6000 every month and 50000 lumpsum every year in NPS. My current portfolio HDFC balance advantage fund-2500(1lakh lumpsum invested) PP felxicap-2500(1lakh lumpsum invested) HDFC large cap- 1lakh lumpsum invested DSP mid cap- 1lakh lumpsum invested Nippon large cap- 2000 sip Quant small cap-2000 sip SBI contra fund- 2000 sip MO Nifty 500 momentum 50-2000 sip PF balance - 25 lakhs Sukanya balance-5 lakhs NPS balance- 4lakhs invested Term Insurance -50 lakhs Health Insurance -20lakhs I will be getting a good lumpsum amount of around 30lakhs. Where I should invest? My primary goal is to create a good corpus for my retirement,and education , wedding expenses for my daughter.
Ans: Thanks for sharing full details. Since you are 43, have old pension scheme, your basic retirement pension security is strong. That means your 30L lumpsum can be smartly allocated towards your daughter’s future + enhancing retirement corpus. Here’s a framework:

1. First priorities (Safety net)

Emergency fund – Ensure 6–12 months of expenses (~4–5L) kept in liquid/FD/Arbitrage fund.

Insurance – Your term cover of 50L looks low (rule of thumb is 10–12× annual income). If possible, add top-up term cover (1–1.5 Cr) while still young. Health insurance of 20L is good, but consider a top-up health cover for rising costs.

2. Allocation of 30L lumpsum (Broad buckets)

Daughter’s higher education (10–12 years away) → Keep a focused portfolio in equity-oriented child or flexi/multi-cap funds, 12–15L here.

Wedding corpus (15 years away) → Can be partly in hybrid/flexicap funds + some debt for stability, ~8–10L.

Retirement enhancement → Since you’ll already have pension, this bucket can be more equity-heavy for wealth growth, ~5–7L in large & flexi cap.

3. Suggested avenues for 30L

Equity mutual funds (60–65%) → Use flexicap / large & mid / index funds. Avoid too much small cap since you already have exposure.

Debt (20–25%) → Dynamic bond funds / short-term debt / FDs to balance volatility.

Hybrid / Multi-asset (10–15%) → For smoother ride, particularly for wedding corpus.

4. Existing portfolio check

You already hold many funds (HDFC BAF, PP flexicap, large cap, DSP mid, Nippon large, Quant small, SBI contra, MO momentum). It’s a bit scattered. Better to consolidate into 4–5 good diversified funds rather than 8+.

Example structure:

Flexicap (1–2 funds)

Large & Mid cap (1)

Midcap (1)

Small cap (keep limited exposure)

5. Action plan

Review and consolidate mutual funds (avoid duplication).

Deploy 30L lumpsum in 2–3 tranches over 12 months (to manage market risk).

Keep education corpus in funds with 60–70% equity + debt (balanced/hybrid).

Top-up insurance (term + health).

Track portfolio yearly with help of MFD/QPFP for rebalancing.

You’re in a strong position with pension + PF + existing investments. With disciplined allocation of this 30L, you can comfortably meet both daughter’s goals and retirement.
Please check with a QPFP / qualified financial planner for in-depth planning, and an MFD can help monitor and rebalance your mutual funds.


With proper financial planning, discipline, and professional monitoring, your early retirement goal can definitely be achieved.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

..Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |233 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Sep 17, 2025

Money
I am 43 yrs old working in PSU bank having old pension scheme.I have one daughter 10 yrs old. I am investing in HDFC children's gift fund, Sukanya Samriddhi for her education and wedding purpose. I am investing in VPF 6000 every month and 50000 lumpsum every year in NPS. My current portfolio HDFC balance advantage fund-2500(1lakh lumpsum invested) PP felxicap-2500(1lakh lumpsum invested) HDFC large cap- 1lakh lumpsum invested DSP mid cap- 1lakh lumpsum invested Nippon large cap- 2000 sip Quant small cap-2000 sip SBI contra fund- 2000 sip MO Nifty 500 momentum 50-2000 sip PF balance - 25 lakhs Sukanya balance-5 lakhs NPS balance- 4lakhs invested Term Insurance -50 lakhs Health Insurance -20lakhs I will be getting a good lumpsum amount of around 30lakhs. Where I should invest? My primary goal is to create a good corpus for my retirement,and education , wedding expenses for my daughter.
Ans: Dear Sir/Madam,

You are 43 years old, working in a PSU bank with old pension scheme, one daughter aged 10, and your current portfolio includes a mix of equity mutual funds, NPS, VPF, PPF, Sukanya Samriddhi, term & health insurance, and a PF balance of ?25 Lakh. You expect to receive a lumpsum of around ?30 Lakh.

Your primary goals:

Retirement corpus

Daughter’s higher education

Daughter’s marriage expenses

Observations:

Your current SIPs and lumpsum investments are well-diversified across large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, and balanced funds.

You already have adequate term and health insurance.

NPS and VPF provide tax-efficient retirement savings.

Sukanya Samriddhi covers long-term education/marriage goals.

Suggested Approach for the ?30 Lakh Lumpsum:

Retirement Corpus (Major Portion ~60%)

Consider putting ?18 Lakh in a mix of equity-oriented balanced/flexi-cap mutual funds (or index funds) to benefit from long-term compounding.

Continue NPS & VPF contributions as planned.

Daughter’s Education (Short-to-Mid Term ~25%)

Allocate ?7–8 Lakh in hybrid or debt-oriented mutual funds with moderate risk horizon (5–7 years).

Can also consider PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi top-up, since she is 10 years old (maturity before 21 years).

Daughter’s Marriage (~15% ~4–5 Lakh)

For goals 10+ years away, consider mix of equity mutual funds (flexi-cap) and safer bonds.

Use Systematic Transfer Plan (STP) from equity to debt as she gets closer to 18–20 years.

Portfolio Notes:

Maintain equity exposure for growth and debt for stability.

Avoid concentrating the lumpsum in single fund or sector, diversify across fund styles and market caps.

For retirement, aim for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, and debt instruments, depending on your risk appetite.

Actionable Recommendation:

Please consult a SEBI-registered CFP / QPFP for detailed cash flow planning and fund allocation strategy. This ensures your retirement, education, and marriage goals are precisely mapped with inflation-adjusted targets.

Mutual Fund investments are subject to market risks. Read all scheme-related documents carefully before investing.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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You didn’t.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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