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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Kannan Question by Kannan on Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, i am 32 years old and just started a SIP investment of 7K per month for the following funds for wealth creation for next 10 - 15 years. Core portfolio (60%) 1. Parag Parikh flexicap fund - 1.5K 2. JM Flexicap - 2K 3. Navi Nifty 50 - 0.5K Satellite portfolio (40%) 1. Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - 0.8K 2. JM Midcap fund - 1K 3. Tata smallcap fund - 0.7K 4. Edelweiss midcap 150 momentum 50 - 0.5K Could please review and advise me whether the above funds is to be considered good. Please provide some suggestions if changes required.

Ans: Your SIP portfolio seems well-diversified across various categories of equity funds, which is a good approach for long-term wealth creation. Let's review each fund and provide some suggestions:

Core Portfolio (60%):

Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund: This fund follows a flexible investment approach across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. It's known for its quality stock selection and has delivered consistent returns over the years.
JM Flexicap Fund: Another flexi-cap fund, providing exposure to companies across market capitalizations. Ensure you review its performance and consistency compared to peers.
Navi Nifty 50: Investing in an index fund like Navi Nifty 50 provides exposure to India's top 50 companies. It's a low-cost option with a focus on large-cap stocks.
Satellite Portfolio (40%):

Kotak Emerging Equity Fund: This fund focuses on emerging companies with high growth potential. Review its performance and ensure it aligns with your risk appetite.
JM Midcap Fund: Mid-cap funds like JM Midcap can offer higher growth potential but come with higher volatility. Monitor its performance and risk closely.
Tata Smallcap Fund: Investing in small-cap funds can provide exposure to high-growth companies. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with small-cap investing.
Edelweiss Midcap 150 Momentum 50: This fund follows a momentum-based investment strategy, focusing on mid-cap stocks showing positive price momentum. Understand its investment approach and risk profile.
Suggestions:

Monitor Performance: Regularly review the performance of your funds and ensure they're meeting your expectations. Consider replacing underperforming funds with better alternatives.
Risk Management: Given the higher allocation to mid-cap and small-cap funds in your portfolio, be prepared for higher volatility. Ensure your risk tolerance aligns with the risk profile of these funds.
Review Fund Selection: Consider diversifying across fund houses to reduce concentration risk. Also, consider adding an international equity fund or a debt fund for further diversification.
Long-Term Perspective: Stay focused on your long-term investment horizon and avoid making knee-jerk reactions based on short-term market movements.
Overall, your SIP portfolio appears well-structured for wealth creation over the next 10-15 years. However, regularly monitoring and reviewing your portfolio's performance is essential to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a financial advisor for personalized guidance based on your individual circumstances.
Asked on - Apr 27, 2024 | Answered on Apr 27, 2024
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Thanks for your valuable feedback sir, could you please provide suggestions for fund selection for international equity and debt exposure.
Ans: Here's a guide to selecting an international equity fund and a debt fund for your Indian portfolio:

International Equity Fund:

Know your goals: Are you saving for a child's education abroad or your own retirement? Long-term goals can handle more volatility, allowing for exposure to developed and emerging markets.
Consider the cost: Actively managed funds can outperform but have higher fees. Index funds offer a low-cost way to track a specific market.
Pick a theme (optional): Do you want broad global exposure or focus on a specific region like the US or Asia?
Here's how a CFP can help:

Risk assessment: They'll understand your comfort level with fluctuations and recommend funds that match your risk tolerance.
Diversification: They can help you choose funds with minimal overlap to avoid putting all your eggs in one basket.
Long-term view: A CFP will focus on building a portfolio for your future, not chasing short-term fads.
Debt Fund:

Investment horizon: Short-term goals (less than 3 years) might benefit from low-duration debt funds with minimal interest rate risk. Longer goals can handle slightly higher volatility with options like corporate bond funds.
Credit quality: Consider the creditworthiness of the issuers (companies or government) in the debt fund. Higher credit quality generally offers lower returns but more stability.
Remember: Diversification is key! Don't invest all your money in just one international equity or debt fund. A CFP can help you create a balanced portfolio that aligns with your goals and risk appetite.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am new and I have started investing in SIP of 7 thousand from this month: quant small cap fund direct -1000, Tata small cap fund-500, quant mid cap fund direct- 1000, Nippon India large cap-1000, UTI nifty 50 index fund - 2000, JM FLEXI cap fund direct-500, Aditya Birla sunlife psu equity-1000 Please inform me whether these funds are good and also I hv plan to keep these sips for 10 yr horizon.
Ans: Your Current Investment Portfolio

You have started investing Rs. 7,000 monthly through SIPs. This is a great step towards building your financial future. Your portfolio includes a mix of small cap, mid cap, large cap, flexi cap, index, and sectoral funds. Here’s an analysis of your choices:

Small Cap Fund: Rs. 1,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Large Cap Fund: Rs. 1,000
Index Fund: Rs. 2,000
Flexi Cap Fund: Rs. 500
Sectoral Fund: Rs. 1,000
Evaluation of Your Portfolio

1. Small Cap Funds

Small cap funds can provide high returns. However, they come with high risk. Having Rs. 1,500 in small cap funds is acceptable, but be prepared for volatility.

2. Mid Cap Fund

Mid cap funds balance risk and return. They have growth potential with moderate risk. Your Rs. 1,000 investment here is well-placed.

3. Large Cap Fund

Large cap funds are more stable. They provide steady returns. Your Rs. 1,000 investment in a large cap fund is good for stability.

4. Index Fund

Index funds track the market. However, they do not adapt to market changes. This can limit returns. Instead, consider actively managed funds for better performance.

5. Flexi Cap Fund

Flexi cap funds provide flexibility. They invest across market caps. Your Rs. 500 in a flexi cap fund is a good choice for diversification.

6. Sectoral Fund

Sectoral funds focus on specific sectors. They carry higher risk. Rs. 1,000 in a sectoral fund is fine, but keep an eye on sector performance.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds mimic the market. They do not adjust to market conditions. This can limit potential returns. Actively managed funds offer professional management. They adapt to market changes and seize opportunities.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds need constant monitoring. They require you to actively manage and rebalance your portfolio. This can be time-consuming. Regular funds, managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional advice and management.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market. They are managed by experts who make strategic decisions. These funds can deliver higher returns compared to index funds.

Suggestions for Additional Investments

Since you plan to keep these SIPs for a 10-year horizon, consider these additions:

1. Balanced Advantage Funds

These funds adjust the equity-debt mix. They provide growth with stability.

2. International Funds

These funds invest globally. They offer diversification beyond Indian markets.

3. Debt Funds

These funds provide stability. They are good for balancing your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)

Continue with your SIP approach. It helps in disciplined investing. SIPs also average out the purchase cost, reducing market timing risk.

Review and Rebalance

Regularly review your portfolio. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance. Make adjustments if necessary.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP can provide tailored advice. They manage your portfolio professionally and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Final Insights

Your current mutual fund investments are diversified. However, consider replacing index funds with actively managed funds. This can enhance your returns.

Diversify further with balanced advantage, international, and debt funds. Continue with SIPs and consult a CFP for professional advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Sir, I am new and I have started investing in SIP of 7 thousand from this month: quant small cap fund direct -1000, Tata small cap fund-500, quant mid cap fund direct- 1000, Nippon India large cap-1000, UTI nifty 50 index fund - 2000, JM FLEXI cap fund direct-500, Aditya Birla sunlife psu equity-1000 Please inform me whether these funds are good and also I hv plan to keep these sips for 10 yr horizon.
Ans: Let's dive into a detailed analysis and provide you with comprehensive guidance on your SIP investments for a 10-year horizon. It's great to see your initiative in starting a systematic investment plan. Here's a thorough evaluation of your investment portfolio with a focus on various aspects to help you understand the implications of your choices and make informed decisions.

Understanding Your Current Investment Portfolio
You've chosen a diverse mix of mutual funds for your SIPs, which is a good strategy. This diversity helps in spreading risk and capturing growth from different segments of the market. Let's break down your investments into categories and analyze each one:

Small Cap Funds: You've invested in two small cap funds. Small cap funds have the potential for high growth, but they also come with high volatility.

Mid Cap Funds: You've allocated funds to a mid cap fund. Mid caps strike a balance between growth potential and risk.

Large Cap Funds: You've chosen a large cap fund, which provides stability to your portfolio with lower risk compared to small and mid cap funds.

Index Funds: You've invested in an index fund, which aims to replicate the performance of the Nifty 50 index.

Flexi Cap Funds: You've invested in a flexi cap fund, which offers the flexibility to invest across market caps.

Sector-Specific Funds: You've allocated funds to a PSU equity fund. Sector-specific funds can be volatile and are often dependent on the sector's performance.

Evaluating Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can deliver impressive returns, especially in a growing economy. However, they are highly volatile and susceptible to market fluctuations. Over a 10-year horizon, these funds can provide substantial growth if the companies perform well.

Advantages:

High growth potential.
Beneficial in a bullish market.
Disadvantages:

High volatility.
Risk of significant losses during market downturns.
Mid Cap Funds: Balancing Growth and Stability
Mid cap funds offer a balance between the high growth potential of small caps and the stability of large caps. These funds invest in mid-sized companies that have significant growth potential and are more stable than small caps.

Advantages:

Potential for good returns.
Moderate risk compared to small caps.
Disadvantages:

Can be volatile.
Requires a longer investment horizon to mitigate risks.
Large Cap Funds: Stability and Consistent Returns
Large cap funds invest in well-established companies with a solid track record. These funds provide stability to your portfolio and are less volatile compared to small and mid cap funds.

Advantages:

Lower risk and volatility.
Consistent returns over the long term.
Disadvantages:

Lower growth potential compared to small and mid caps.
Returns may be modest.
Index Funds: A Critical Analysis
You've invested in an index fund which tracks the Nifty 50. Index funds are passively managed and aim to replicate the index's performance. While they offer diversification and low expense ratios, there are some drawbacks:

Disadvantages:

Limited to the performance of the index.
Cannot outperform the market.
Lack of active management to navigate market downturns.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Potential to outperform the market.
Active management to mitigate risks.
Flexibility in changing market conditions.
Flexi Cap Funds: Versatile and Adaptive
Flexi cap funds are versatile as they can invest across different market capitalizations. This flexibility allows the fund manager to capitalize on opportunities in any segment.

Advantages:

Diversification across market caps.
Ability to adapt to market conditions.
Disadvantages:

Performance highly dependent on the fund manager's expertise.
May have higher expense ratios.
Sector-Specific Funds: Concentrated Risk
You've invested in a PSU equity fund, which focuses on public sector undertakings. Sector-specific funds can be rewarding if the sector performs well but are highly risky.

Advantages:

High returns if the sector performs well.
Targeted exposure to a specific sector.
Disadvantages:

High risk due to concentration in one sector.
Performance is sector-dependent and can be volatile.
Active vs. Direct Funds: Considerations
You've chosen direct funds, which means you invest directly with the mutual fund company without intermediaries. While this can save on commission fees, there are advantages to investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP):

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Requires thorough research and understanding.
No professional guidance in fund selection and management.
Benefits of Investing through CFP:

Expert advice and tailored investment strategies.
Regular portfolio review and adjustments.
Better understanding of market trends and opportunities.
Long-Term Investment Strategy
A 10-year investment horizon is a substantial period, allowing you to ride out market volatility and benefit from compounding returns. Here's how you can make the most of your investments:

1. Stay Consistent with SIPs:
Continue your SIPs regularly to benefit from rupee cost averaging, which helps in buying more units when prices are low and fewer when prices are high.

2. Diversify Your Portfolio:
Ensure your portfolio remains diversified across different market caps and sectors to spread risk and capture growth from various segments.

3. Review and Rebalance:
Periodically review your portfolio with a CFP to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Rebalancing helps in maintaining the desired asset allocation.

4. Monitor Performance:
Track the performance of your funds and compare them with benchmark indices. If a fund consistently underperforms, consider switching to better-performing alternatives.

5. Focus on Financial Goals:
Align your investments with specific financial goals, such as retirement, children's education, or buying a home. This helps in maintaining discipline and focus.

Final Insights
Investing in SIPs for a 10-year horizon is a smart choice. You've diversified across different types of funds, which is commendable. However, it's crucial to regularly review your portfolio, seek expert advice, and make adjustments as needed. Stay informed about market trends and remain consistent with your investments. Your financial journey is a marathon, not a sprint. With patience and prudent decision-making, you're likely to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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I am 37 years old and a govt servant.i just recently started sip in four funds 1.Mirae asset large and midcap fund direct growth. _1k 2.quant large and mid cap fund direct growth_1k 3.kotak equity opportunities fund direct growth_1k 4.icici prudential retirement fund pure equity plan direct growth -5k Is it good for a term like 10 years?and if i want to invest 5k more then where should i invest for a term of 15 to 20 years.please advice .thank you
Ans: As a government servant at 37, planning for the future is crucial. Starting SIPs in mutual funds is a wise step, but evaluating and refining your strategy can optimize your returns. This analysis will guide you through your current investments and suggest additional avenues for a long-term horizon.

Current SIP Analysis

You've begun SIPs in four mutual funds with a 10-year perspective:

Mirae Asset Large and Midcap Fund
Quant Large and Midcap Fund
Kotak Equity Opportunities Fund
ICICI Prudential Retirement Fund Pure Equity Plan
Your current allocation in these funds is commendable. Let's evaluate the benefits and potential improvements.

1. Mirae Asset Large and Midcap Fund

This fund invests in both large and midcap stocks. It offers growth potential from midcaps and stability from large caps. This balanced approach can yield good returns over the long term.

2. Quant Large and Midcap Fund

Similar to the Mirae Asset Fund, this fund also diversifies between large and midcap stocks. Diversification is a key strategy to mitigate risk while aiming for growth.

3. Kotak Equity Opportunities Fund

This fund focuses on equity opportunities across market caps. It's known for good management and consistent performance. It adds diversity to your portfolio.

4. ICICI Prudential Retirement Fund Pure Equity Plan

This fund is designed for long-term goals like retirement. It invests primarily in equities, which can offer higher returns over an extended period.

Your portfolio currently has a good mix of large-cap stability and mid-cap growth potential. However, since you're considering a long-term investment horizon of 15-20 years, let's explore where you can invest an additional Rs 5,000 per month.

Evaluating Direct Funds vs Regular Funds

You've invested in direct plans, which typically have lower expense ratios. However, regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) have their advantages. A CFP provides personalized advice, timely reviews, and adjustments to your portfolio. These services can potentially enhance your investment performance, justifying the slightly higher expense ratios.

Long-term Investment Strategy

For a long-term investment horizon of 15-20 years, consider the following factors:

Diversification: Spread investments across different asset classes and sectors.
Risk Tolerance: Understand your risk appetite and invest accordingly.
Consistent Review: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal goals.
Recommended Investment Avenues

To invest an additional Rs 5,000 per month, here are some funds and strategies to consider:

1. Flexi Cap Funds

Flexi cap funds invest in stocks across market capitalizations. They offer flexibility to shift investments between large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions. This dynamic allocation can capture opportunities across the spectrum and provide robust returns over the long term.

2. Mid Cap Funds

Mid cap funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential. These companies often grow faster than large caps and can offer higher returns. However, they come with higher risk, suitable for a long-term horizon.

3. Sectoral or Thematic Funds

These funds invest in specific sectors like technology, healthcare, or financial services. Investing in a growing sector can yield substantial returns. However, they are riskier and require careful selection and timing. For example, the healthcare sector in India is poised for significant growth due to increasing health awareness and spending.

4. International Funds

Investing in international funds provides exposure to global markets. This diversification can reduce risk associated with the Indian market. It also allows you to capitalize on the growth of developed economies and emerging markets. For instance, a fund investing in US technology stocks can offer high growth potential.

5. Balanced or Hybrid Funds

Balanced funds invest in both equity and debt instruments. They provide growth potential with equity and stability with debt. This mix can be suitable for moderate risk tolerance and long-term investment. These funds can provide a cushion during market volatility, ensuring smoother returns.

6. Multi-Asset Funds

Multi-asset funds diversify across various asset classes, including equity, debt, and gold. This diversification reduces risk and can provide steady returns. Investing in multiple assets helps in balancing the portfolio against market fluctuations.

The Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

While index funds passively track market indices, actively managed funds have fund managers making strategic decisions. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market, providing higher returns. They adjust portfolios based on market trends, economic conditions, and company performance. This active management justifies the slightly higher expense ratios, as it can potentially lead to better returns than passive funds.

Implementing the Strategy

Based on the analysis, here's a suggested allocation for your additional Rs 5,000 investment:

Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 1,500
Mid Cap Fund: Rs 1,000
Sectoral/Thematic Fund: Rs 1,000
International Fund: Rs 1,000
Multi-Asset Fund: Rs 500
This allocation provides a balanced mix of growth potential and risk mitigation.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Investing is not a one-time activity. Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in this process, providing insights and adjustments based on market trends and your evolving financial situation.

Final Insights

Investing for the long term requires a strategic approach. Your current SIPs are a good start, and with the additional Rs 5,000 investment, you can further strengthen your portfolio. Diversification across different asset classes and sectors is key to maximizing returns and minimizing risk.

Consider the benefits of regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. While they have higher expense ratios, the personalized advice and active management can enhance your investment performance.

Focus on a balanced mix of flexi cap, mid cap, sectoral/thematic, international, and multi-asset funds. This diversified approach can capture growth opportunities across markets and sectors, ensuring a robust and resilient portfolio.

Regularly review your investments, adjust based on performance and market conditions, and stay committed to your long-term goals. With careful planning and strategic investments, you can build a substantial corpus for your future needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi Team, I am 30 and have below SIPs. Please review them and let me know if i have to make any changes. Hdfc large & Mid cap fund - 5000 Motilal Oswal Mid cap fund - 5000 Kotak infrastructure and eco fund - 2000 PGIM India Mid Cap Opportunities Fund- 5000 SBI Contra -1500 Motila Oswal business cycle fund-3000 Focus is to continue SIP for longterm
Ans: Your portfolio reflects a proactive approach to wealth creation. Each fund serves a distinct purpose. Let's assess and optimise your investments for long-term growth.

Strengths of Your Current Portfolio
Diverse Investment Strategy: Your funds cover multiple segments like large-cap, mid-cap, and thematic investments.

Long-Term Focus: A consistent SIP approach aligns with compounding benefits and market cycles.

Mid-Cap Exposure: Allocating significant SIPs to mid-cap funds positions your portfolio for growth.

Inclusion of Thematic Funds: Thematic funds add sectoral focus, offering opportunities in specific growth areas.

Areas for Improvement
Concentration in Mid-Cap Funds: A high allocation to mid-cap funds can increase volatility. Diversification is key.

Overlapping Thematic Focus: Funds with sectoral or cyclical focus may overlap in strategy.

Balance Between Growth and Stability: Adding more stability-focused funds can protect the portfolio in downturns.

Fund-Specific Observations
Large and Mid-Cap Fund
This fund balances growth and stability.

Retain this allocation for consistent returns and risk management.

Mid-Cap Funds
Significant allocation to mid-cap funds is growth-oriented.

Review performance and overlap to avoid redundancy.

Consider reallocating some amount to flexi-cap funds for diversification.

Thematic Infrastructure Fund
Sector-focused funds can be volatile and dependent on market cycles.

Limit thematic exposure to 10% of your overall portfolio.

Monitor this fund closely to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Contra and Business Cycle Funds
Both funds are contrarian and cyclical in nature.

Overlapping strategies may lead to concentration risk.

Retain one fund and reallocate the other to a balanced or flexi-cap fund.

Recommendations for Portfolio Optimisation
Enhance Diversification
Add a balanced allocation to large-cap or flexi-cap funds for stability.

Diversification reduces risk and enhances long-term returns.

Monitor and Evaluate Performance
Regularly review fund performance to ensure alignment with goals.

Replace underperforming funds without hesitation.

Adjust Thematic and Sectoral Exposure
Limit thematic funds to a smaller portion of your portfolio.

Sector-focused funds are cyclical and require active monitoring.

Tax-Efficiency
Long-term equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax.

Short-term gains attract a 20% tax.

Consider tax efficiency while planning redemptions.

Importance of Regular Funds
Direct funds lack personalised guidance and portfolio tracking.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures regular reviews and professional advice.

Regular funds offer value-added services and align with long-term goals.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for long-term growth but needs refinement.

Reduce concentration in mid-cap and thematic funds for better risk management.

Increase exposure to diversified and balanced funds for stability.

Seek professional guidance to optimise performance and adapt to market trends.

Your disciplined SIP approach will reward you over time. Stay consistent and review periodically.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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I have been jobless since 2 years. During COVID, I was undergoing tremendous amount of stress due to the lockdowns & WFH. It had telling effect on me & I realized am going through depression when I joined a job which required me to work from office. I quit job a month after I joined the company where the toxic work culture had a big toll on me to the extent of instilling a fear of formal office environs in me, which continues to this day. I have become a recluse. Now I feel I should have sought professional intervention much earlier, rather than just 6 months back. I lost all confidence of turning up for interviews, leave alone joining some job. I fear & hate admitting that infront of my wife who is very temperamental & nags me consistently about job search, as much as she tries to figure out things in my life. Every day I apply to jobs but every time I fail an interview I console myself thinking that I am saved of botheration of the rigors of a job which I can't face. I don't admit to my wife so as not to infuriate her & don't trust her that she will empathise with my situation in life. Hence try to keep up with good facade. But the results never improve- I failed every interview (calls though are hard to come by) which I fully know that its because I could not give my 100 % energy. Now the reluctance is due to many factors- IT is very fast changing field; I have reached a senior level where there are many expectations on that role which I never got to nurture/grow on myself. So every interview gives me shivers: 1) About my performance 2) (provided am selected somehow) About whether I would be able to fulfill my role to my satisfaction (previous professional experience haunts me to this date). As a result of all this I very often mentally exhaust myself (worrying/ wishful)thinking of things rather than bringing myself to earn money for the family. I feel I am just doing things to fill up my day, languishing by doing things that do not bring any value- rather than positively, pro-actively doing something of my career. Due to the gap of 2 years I do not get favorable response from companies I apply to. That is a very big gap to fill & I can't talk my way into saying things like I was in depression or that I did nothing for those 2 years. That further increases my anxiety, I have grown aversion to this entire goings on. I feel direction-less & drained out all the time. Please help.
Ans: Hello!!

Let's only look at the forward path here pls.

Forget about all the failings so far... Be kind to yourself, whatever happened to you, whatever is happening now, the period of COVID did it to many.

The only way to get out of this is -
1. your willingness to see a beautiful future ahead of you
2. you have already taken the first step by seeking counselling
3. leave the habit of revisiting the past again, like you just said that I should have gone to the counselor earlier, don't do this, be happy you are seeing him/her now
4. you have come so far in life, give yourself some credit, you have not reached the senior position just like that, right? You have reached here with your efforts, you have done it before, you'll do it again, have faith in yourself
5. your wife is your life partner, sit across and talk to her, take her to the counselor make her understand that this a phase where you need her on your side. A facade with your wife is a NO NO, it will come out some day, it is extra strain on you and your relationship, come clean , be truthful and honest with her.
6. make self care a priority ..get your routine in order, it's your life, just don't fill your day with mindless activities, like I said one step in the future, start taking actions now.....get up early, expose yourself to the sun and nature( they are great healers), exercise, have good meals throughout the day, learn something new , join a course which will be job oriented, how about adding an MBA or any other course which will help you in your career or job search?
7. make being joyful a habit... spend time volunteering, go teach underprivileged children or where ever you feel like lending a helping hand
8. value yourself....you were not put here to suffer, take action now.

Forget the past, jo beet gayi so baat gayi( meaningless to talk about the past)... stop blaming, complaining....look into the future with energy and enthusiasm, it's your life man , take one step towards it every day.

Bless you to life your life well..

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

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Dear MAM , I am writing to express some concerns and seek your advice regarding my son who is currently working in the USA after completing his Master's degree. While I am proud of his achievements, I find myself feeling a bit confused about my role as a father during this phase of his life. As he focuses on his career and plans for the future, I wonder if I should expect some support from him for our family's needs, especially considering the financial burden I have undertaken for his education, which amounts to about 1 crore. Additionally, I have responsibilities towards my 90+ year-old mother and my other son, who is also in need of educational support. My son seems to be making all his life decisions independently, including matters relating to his future marriage, without seeking our input. This leaves me feeling sidelined in his life choices. Can you please share your thoughts on how I should navigate this situation? Your guidance would be invaluable as I try to understand my place and expectations in this new dynamic. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response.
Ans: Dear Sir,

He is your son and your blood. You have brought him up ....your values and culture is in him. You have supported him wholeheartedly and you have always been there for him, I am sure he will be there for you too. Just sit down with your son and have a heart to heart talk with him, have the faith that you have brought up your son well, he will listen to your genuine concerns and help you out.

It is just that he is too eager to fly high, the education, the US culture, the freedom is a heady combination right now. Participate in his plans wholeheartedly and with full josh when he shares his plans with you. Don't come in his way, don't demand but ask him to help you out. Please remember that when your child stays away from you, the bonds require efforts to rebuild and make them strong again. Since he is no longer staying with you, he may not have the clear picture of what is happening in your lives here. So please " TALK " to him face to face.

You must be happy that your son has grown up enough to make his life decisions on his own, this is a good sign, he is no longer dependent on you, like you said just be proud of him and be supportive. Love him unconditionally. I know as a parent you feel left out..... what can you do, but to see your little one soar high, trust me I totally understand how you feel. You have given him the wings by funding his education, you can't demand he return the money or pay you back. What you can do is this... give him a proper picture of your financial condition, your younger son's aspirations, he is your eldest, elder children are always responsible, he will come to your rescue and help you out I am very sure of that. Let the language of love and togetherness between the son and father create the magic. Communicate with your child dear father, that's the key, that's the solution.

All the very best!!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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