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Jigar Patel  | Answer  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2024

Jigar Patel is a senior manager (technical research analyst) at Anand Rathi Shares and Stock Brokers.
He has around seven years of experience in the stock markets and specialises in sharing outlooks based on technical analysis.
Patel has a PGPM (Finance) certification from the International Institute of Finance Markets.... more
Shakir Question by Shakir on Mar 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi. I am doing a sip of 100 shares of idfc ltd 100 of sbfc small finance. 100 utkarsh bank. 10 hdfc bank. 10 bharti airtel. 10 itc. 10 grasim. Every month for long term of 10 years. Pls advise

Ans: KEEP DOING
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

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Hii i am investing in SIP since 1 year in ICICI prudential commodities Fund direct growth Rs200 monthly, Tata digital India und direct growth Rs150 Monthly, HDFC Technology Fund direct growth Rs100 monthly, ICICI prudential Technology direct plan growth Rs100 monthly, Nippon India Pharma fund direct growth Rs300 monthly, Nippon India small cap fund direct growth Rs300 monthly, axis nifty IT index fund direct growth Rs1000 monthly, ICICI prudential bluechip fund direct growth Rs250 monthly, Aditya Birla Sun Life digital India fund direct growth Rs100 monthly, ICICI prudential NASDAQ 100index fund direct growth Rs300 monthly, HDFC transportation and logistics fund direct growth Rs200 monthly so I invested in above SIPs Total monthly i invest Rs3000 so please give me some suggestions or modifications if required
Ans: Your Current SIP Portfolio
You have been investing ?3,000 monthly across various SIPs for a year. Your chosen funds focus on technology, healthcare, commodities, and other sectors. This shows a good start towards disciplined investing.

Concentration in Technology Sector
A significant portion of your investments is in technology-focused funds. Technology funds can offer high returns but also come with high volatility.

Sector-Specific Funds
You also have investments in healthcare, commodities, and logistics funds. Sector-specific funds can be very volatile as they depend on the performance of their respective sectors.

Diversification
Your portfolio lacks diversification. Investing too much in a single sector increases risk. Diversification helps in balancing risk and returns.

Importance of Broad Market Exposure
Diversifying across different market segments reduces risk. Balanced exposure to large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds is crucial. This strategy ensures you are not overly dependent on one sector's performance.

Adding Stability with Debt Funds
Including debt funds can provide stability. Debt funds offer regular returns and reduce the overall risk in your portfolio. This balance is vital for long-term growth.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform index funds due to professional management. Fund managers actively select stocks to maximize returns. This can be advantageous, especially in volatile markets.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds mirror the market index and do not aim to outperform it. They lack flexibility in changing market conditions. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, adapt to market changes, providing better growth potential.

Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require thorough research and monitoring. Regular funds, through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer professional guidance and management. This can be valuable for optimizing returns and managing risks effectively.

Suggested Modifications
Reduce Sector-Specific Overweight

Reduce the number of technology and sector-specific funds. This will help in balancing the portfolio and reducing sector-specific risks.

Increase Broad Market Exposure

Allocate more funds to diversified equity funds. Large-cap and multi-cap funds provide stable returns and reduce overall risk.

Include Debt Funds for Stability

Add debt or hybrid funds to your portfolio. This will provide regular returns and reduce the volatility of your overall investment.

Suggested Allocation
Technology Funds: Choose one or two funds to maintain some exposure but reduce concentration.
Broad Market Funds: Increase investment in large-cap and multi-cap funds for stable growth.
Debt Funds: Allocate a portion to debt funds for stability.
Regular Monitoring and Review
Monitor your investments regularly. Review fund performance annually and adjust your portfolio based on your financial goals and market conditions.

Conclusion
Your dedication to investing through SIPs is commendable. With a few adjustments, you can achieve a balanced and diversified portfolio. This will help you meet your long-term financial goals with reduced risk.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Money
Dear Rama Sir, I am 42 years and have been doing SIP since last 3 years. My monthly SIPs are as : ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund : 20 K, DSP Mid CAP: 5K, SBI Small CAP: 12 K, Parag Parikh Flexi: 10 K and HDFC Balanced Advantage: 10 K. Also, I have invested Lumpsum amount of Rs. 50 K in DSP mid CAP, Rs. 15 K in ICICI Ultra Short and Rs. 4 Lacs in SBI Contra. Pl review and suggest improvements if required. I recently got bonus and can invest more in Lumpsum in your suggested funds. Request your guidance Sir.
Ans: Your systematic investment plan (SIP) portfolio shows a structured approach. It reflects a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, and balanced funds. The lump sum investments add diversification. This balanced allocation demonstrates prudence and clarity.

Let us review each aspect of your portfolio and provide tailored suggestions.

Strengths in Your Current Portfolio
Diversified Allocation: Your investments span large, mid, small caps, and flexi-cap categories. This reduces risk.

Consistent SIPs: Monthly SIPs total Rs. 57,000, reflecting commitment. SIPs instill discipline and capture market volatility over time.

Growth Potential: Mid-cap and small-cap funds provide good growth opportunities over the long term.

Lump Sum in Contra Fund: Rs. 4 lakh in a contra strategy adds a contrarian element. This could yield good returns in specific market conditions.

Areas for Improvement
Overlapping Funds: Multiple funds may invest in similar sectors or stocks. This could lead to duplication.

Balanced Allocation Concerns: High allocation to equity-oriented funds increases risk. A more balanced approach can help achieve stability.

Debt Investment Allocation: ICICI Ultra Short-Term Fund at Rs. 15,000 seems under-allocated. Adding more to debt can stabilize your portfolio.

Limited Sectoral Diversification: Current funds focus mainly on broader indices. Exposure to sectoral or thematic funds could enhance growth.

Suggestions for Portfolio Improvement
1. Optimise Equity Allocation
Retain a mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds, but assess overlap.
Avoid holding too many funds with a similar investment strategy. This leads to diluted returns.
Focus on funds with consistent performance and proven track records.
2. Strengthen Debt Investment
Increase allocation to debt funds for stability. Balanced funds are helpful, but dedicated debt funds are crucial for portfolio cushioning.
Consider short-term and corporate bond funds for steady returns.
3. Increase Lump Sum Allocation Wisely
Allocate the bonus amount across diversified funds to align with your goals.
Divide lump sum investments into tranches to leverage market corrections.
4. Assess Contra Fund Exposure
While contra funds offer unique opportunities, Rs. 4 lakh is a significant portion.
Limit exposure to avoid overdependence on contrarian strategies, which work best in certain cycles.
5. Tax Efficiency
Equity fund gains over Rs. 1.25 lakh annually are taxed at 12.5%.
Debt fund gains are taxed per your slab. Factor this into future investments.
Plan withdrawals smartly to reduce tax liabilities.
6. Emergency Fund
Ensure sufficient liquidity for emergencies. Allocate 6-12 months of expenses to liquid or ultra-short-term funds.
7. Avoid Overinvesting in a Single Strategy
Balanced advantage funds are versatile, but reliance on one strategy may restrict returns.
Maintain exposure while investing in other complementary funds.
Suggested Allocation for Your Bonus
Equity Investments

Direct part of your bonus to funds with high potential but less overlap.
Diversify by including funds with sectoral or thematic exposure.
Debt Investments

Allocate a portion to debt funds for stability.
Ultra-short-term funds can help with short-term goals.
Hybrid Funds

Use hybrid funds for a mix of equity and debt without aggressive risk.
Gold Investments

If not already, consider Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB) for diversification.
Broader Financial Planning Recommendations
Goal-Oriented Investments
Map each investment to a specific goal like retirement, children’s education, or home purchase.
This ensures focus and clarity.
Insurance Coverage Check
Evaluate existing life and health insurance policies. Ensure they are sufficient to cover your family’s needs.
If you hold ULIPs, evaluate their returns. Surrendering may allow reinvestment into mutual funds.
Estate Planning
Ensure your investments are nominated and estate documents updated.
A will can simplify asset distribution and avoid future disputes.
Monitor Regularly
Review your portfolio semi-annually to track performance and make adjustments.
This keeps your investments aligned with changing goals and market conditions.
Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Expert Guidance: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner offers advice on fund selection.
Streamlined Process: Regular funds ensure consistent monitoring and better decision-making.
Human Oversight: Direct funds demand deeper financial knowledge. Advisors simplify choices.
Final Insights
Your portfolio reflects strong discipline and a solid foundation. Optimizing fund selection, balancing equity-debt, and aligning investments with goals can enhance returns.

Allocate your bonus systematically for maximum benefit. Avoid impulsive investments and maintain long-term discipline. This approach will keep you on track for financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
I am 50 years old, how much proportion should I allocate in Debt and Equity mutual funds. I am investing in mutual funds only. My 43 L portfolio has 37 L equity and 6 Lak debt.
Ans: Balancing your portfolio between equity and debt is critical at this stage. A 50-year-old investor should aim for a safer portfolio while ensuring reasonable growth. Since you’re already investing in mutual funds, fine-tuning your allocation can optimise returns and reduce risk.

Let’s assess your portfolio in detail and identify actionable steps for an optimal balance.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your current allocation includes:

Rs 37 lakh in equity: Around 86% of your total portfolio.
Rs 6 lakh in debt: About 14% of your total portfolio.
This equity-heavy portfolio is suitable for younger investors. At 50, you may need to rebalance to reduce volatility while retaining growth.

Recommended Allocation Strategy
A general rule is the "100 minus age" approach. However, personal goals, risk tolerance, and financial stability should guide decisions. For a 50-year-old:

Equity: 50% to 60% of the portfolio. This ensures growth and combats inflation.
Debt: 40% to 50%. This ensures stability and predictable returns.
You can adjust within this range based on personal preferences and financial objectives.

Steps to Rebalance Your Portfolio
To align your portfolio, consider these steps:

Gradually reduce equity exposure: Shift some equity investments to debt. Do this systematically over months to avoid timing risks.
Increase debt mutual funds allocation: Consider short-duration or dynamic bond funds for liquidity and moderate returns.
Use hybrid mutual funds: Balanced advantage funds can offer a mix of equity and debt with automatic rebalancing.
Why a Balanced Allocation Is Crucial
Equity: This provides growth potential to counter inflation. It supports long-term financial goals like retirement planning.
Debt: This offers stability and acts as a buffer against market downturns. It ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.
Avoid Over-Exposure to Equity
While equity delivers higher returns, excessive exposure can increase portfolio risk. A balanced allocation shields you during market corrections.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can outperform the market due to professional expertise. They adjust portfolios based on market trends and opportunities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

They lack active monitoring during volatile periods.
They mimic the index, limiting scope for higher returns.
Their fixed composition may underperform in certain market cycles.
For long-term growth, actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Guidance: Regular funds come with expert advice from an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential.
Portfolio Monitoring: They help align your investments with changing market conditions.
Support: MFDs can guide in tax planning and rebalancing.
Direct funds, while cheaper, may lead to uninformed decisions and missed opportunities.

Tax Efficiency in Your Portfolio
Understanding new mutual fund taxation rules is essential:

Equity funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt funds: Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Consider tax implications before rebalancing to avoid unnecessary liabilities.

Maintaining Liquidity
At this stage, maintaining a portion of your portfolio in liquid funds is prudent. It helps meet short-term goals or emergencies without disturbing long-term investments.

Aligning with Retirement Goals
Your portfolio should focus on generating a steady post-retirement income. Here’s how:

Allocate more to debt as you approach retirement.
Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for regular income during retirement.
Retain a small equity portion to combat inflation even post-retirement.
Creating a Contingency Fund
Set aside a separate fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. Use liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds for this.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Portfolio
Review your portfolio every 6 months.
Rebalance based on market conditions and life changes.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for adjustments aligned with your goals.
Avoid Common Investment Pitfalls
Chasing high returns: Avoid concentrating on high-risk funds at this stage.
Over-diversification: Stick to a manageable number of funds to track performance easily.
Ignoring inflation: Ensure your portfolio grows faster than inflation rates.
Building a Long-Term Perspective
Focus on wealth preservation alongside growth.
Maintain discipline in investing. Avoid reacting impulsively to market fluctuations.
Stay informed about economic and market trends affecting mutual fund performance.
Final Insights
Balancing equity and debt is essential for stability and growth in your portfolio. A 50%-60% equity and 40%-50% debt allocation aligns with your age and goals. Active management and regular reviews will help optimise returns and minimise risks.

Transitioning gradually ensures minimal disruption to your portfolio’s growth. Focus on creating a robust strategy to secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7103 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Money
One time investment in mutual fund in which fund
Ans: To decide on a one-time investment, understanding your financial goals is vital. Knowing the purpose of your investment ensures better alignment with your expectations. Your goals could be wealth creation, retirement planning, or funding a specific future expense like a child's education or marriage.

Assessing Risk Tolerance
Before choosing any investment, assess your risk tolerance. High-risk options offer better returns but can fluctuate more. If you are a conservative investor, you might prefer stability over high returns. Moderately aggressive investors balance growth and risk well.

Benefits of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed mutual funds are an excellent choice for one-time investments. Professional fund managers make critical investment decisions based on market conditions. These funds can outperform market indices over the long term due to their strategic asset allocation.

They adapt well to market dynamics, offering higher growth potential than passive funds. Investors benefit from expertise and insights that help mitigate risks during market downturns.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds simply track market indices and lack active management. They offer no scope for market-beating returns. While their fees are lower, this comes at the cost of performance. In actively managed funds, expert decision-making can lead to better results.

Investors relying solely on index funds may miss opportunities to earn superior returns. Active funds also better suit those aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with reduced volatility.

The Issue with Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower costs but require greater knowledge and time. Without professional advice, managing such investments can be overwhelming. Regular funds, managed through Certified Financial Planners, ensure guidance tailored to your needs.

A Certified Financial Planner monitors your portfolio’s performance, suggesting timely corrections. This professional approach ensures that your investment aligns with your financial goals efficiently.

Choosing the Right Mutual Fund Category
Select funds based on your investment horizon and risk appetite. Equity mutual funds work well for long-term goals as they provide higher growth potential. However, they carry higher volatility and are suitable only for investors with a longer time horizon.

For medium-term goals, balanced or hybrid funds are better suited. These combine equity and debt to balance risk and returns. Short-term goals are better addressed with debt funds, offering lower returns with minimal risk.

Importance of Diversification
Diversifying your investment reduces the risk of losses. It spreads your money across various sectors, ensuring market fluctuations impact your investment less. Avoid investing all funds in a single category, ensuring a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Taxation Rules for Mutual Funds
Understand the tax implications before investing. For equity funds, long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Consider tax-saving options if your goal aligns with reducing tax liabilities. While tax efficiency matters, it should not override your primary objective of wealth creation.

Importance of Lump Sum Timing
Market timing matters for one-time investments. Investing during a market correction or when valuations are reasonable ensures better growth. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to enter the market at the right time for better results.

Monitoring and Reviewing Your Investment
A one-time investment is not set and forget. Regular reviews ensure the investment aligns with your goals. Markets evolve, and so should your portfolio. Make changes as required with the guidance of a professional.

The Role of Emergency Funds
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund before making a one-time investment. This fund covers unforeseen expenses, preventing you from withdrawing long-term investments prematurely. Keep at least 6-12 months' expenses aside for emergencies.

Setting Realistic Expectations
Investments are subject to market risks, and returns are not guaranteed. Patience and a long-term approach yield better results. Understand the product before investing, ensuring it meets your expectations and financial objectives.

Final Insights
A one-time mutual fund investment can help achieve your financial goals effectively. However, aligning this investment with your risk tolerance and objectives is key. Actively managed funds, combined with professional advice, offer the best value for your money.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I 25M) have been in a Long Distance Emotional Relationship with a College Friend (25F) whom I'd known since more than 3 years. Although, neither of us has explicitly confessed to each other, but we both seemed to have strong Feelings for each other. We both have shared a lot of personal matters about ourselves, with each other (which are unknown to even some of our Closest Friends). We both share similar Values & Outlook towards various aspects of Life (including our Long Term Career Goals). We both used to chat on WhatsApp almost everyday, sharing our experiences, opinions, knowledge etc. I used to Flirt with her by writing Romantic Poetry for her, once she'd also confessed that she's falling for me. But what has stopped us both from proposing Love to one another is the difference in our Family Background (I'm from a Telugu Speaking Hindu Brahmin Family & she's from a Malayali Catholic Christian Family, but we both studied together from a College in Gujarat). As of now, we both are in different States Studying/Working in different fields. But both of us have been preparing for UPSC, which is our ultimate Career Goal & we also used to discuss the Subject matter & Preparation Plans, helping out each other. Presently, the Problem is that She seems to have Ghosted me (since a Month) citing a silly reason that her Phone got Damaged (she'd said something like this even in 2021), but I see her active on various Social Media Platforms, regularly. I have tried reaching out to her through all the Social Media Platforms & have even called her up, but there's no Response at all, from her side. I am not able to understand why she has Ghosted me like this, atleast she could have honestly told me the actual Reason. Sometimes, I feel guilty that I must have been a distraction to her Studies. But I have very strong Feelings for her, which I'd never felt for any other Girl & I believe that we can have a Future together. We both could continue complementing each other in the course of UPSC Preparation & acting as each other's motivation & emotional support (as seen in the Movie "12th Fail"). And if we both successfully clear UPSC together, we could try to convince our Parents for Marriage (these are not just my Fantasies, even she had indirectly expressed her interest in sharing her Future Life with me). Now, I don't understand what to do? How to reach out to her & sort out things between us? If not reconciliation, I believe that I deserve atleast a definite closure with Honest communication. Though, I am going along with my UPSC Preparation, every now & then, I can't Help thinking of her, I'm feeling Lonely, her Emotional & Intellectual Company would be a great Help in the course of my Preparation. She's always been a Positive Motivation not a Distraction in my Career Path. Please advise me, how do I get back at her, presently, she's working in a different State, so reaching out to meet her in person is not feasible & I have unsuccessfully tried out all other means of Communication. What should I do now? I want to hear from her again, I'd feel satisfied even if she breaks it up with me, honestly stating the Reason. I am feeling restless due to this Uncertainty. Should I persistently keep trying to reach out to her, through different means, without giving up on her, until she Responds, Hoping that she'd appreciate my consistent efforts & reconsider the Relationship with me? Or would you advise any other approach, which is better, according to you?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You really need to STOP putting yourself through this.
The reason for your restless state is the dependency that you have been having on her, chats with her, the emotional base with her knowing well enough that there has been no prior agreement on commitment in this relationship. But that's the way the heart is, no?
So, there has been freedom with both of you to go away when you please, to see other people etc...

You have possibly been more into this connection that she has been into it and this has led to expectations from your end.
Go silent and maybe this will give her an idea of missing you if she truly has feelings for you. When you do this, you give yourself some breathing space as well on things that need your focus and also will also reveal if she really wants you as a part of her life. This space is difficult but really important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |691 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 30 gf is also of same age ..we have caste issue and she is being hindu..but we love each other deeply ..we are in strong seriously relationship since 5 years ..but suddenly now she has cheated with me with a guy of same caste and too rich..now i am devasted ..i have done everything for her she asked for and i have given my blood sweat and tears to work it this relation into marrige...since i found out my gf had cheated on me i am not in myself..my left chest always has mild to severe pain when i think about her .it is just sudden change of emotions..when i am doing my work i forgets about her but not able to focus and it is reflecting on my performance...please confirm what should i do now .she has said sorry multiple times ..but i cannot trust her the same way and not able to love her same way as it is use to be...though my feelinga for her never gonna die but this feeling only killing me please confirm what should do please
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Heartbreaks can show up in the body as aches and pains; but do visit the doctor to rule out any issue causing the pain in your chest.
I would suggest 'taking a break' from your relationship to process what has gone on...being cheated upon is not easy to digest and you need the time to understand what has happened.
Yes, loss of trust can be very difficult to repair but whether you want to forgive her or not, trust her again or not are things to be dealt with as you go into this 'break mode' as it will allow the anger to heighten, simmer and then dull down while the importance of this person in your life will arise where you can then ask yourself if you wish to continue this relationship or you actually can do away with it.
I do feel that you will benefit from working with a professional on this as your mind state can interfere in the process of reflection and healing. So, do consider that as well...
I will not say that Time Heals, but Time gives you an opportunity to reflect and learn...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for suitable match through Arranged Marriage Platforms. Recently, I had connected with a Lady (25F) who seemed to tick all the Boxes, which I preferred in a Life Partner & she seemed to like me too, we both were getting along quite well through chatting & phone calls. When we met, in person for the first time, I POLITELY asked her what's her BODY COUNT (while mentioning that my Body Count is Zero, as I am VIRGIN). Immediately, she lost her Temper, started abusing me & splashed her Drink all over my Face & Clothes, she was physically assaulting me, when the waiters intervened & calmed her down. I was feeling Humiliated in Public. She threatened that she would Report me to the Police for 'SEXUAL HARASSMENT'. Realising that she could ruin my Life, I apologised to her earnestly & made Peace. Needless to say, she ended all contact with me. But, this incident has left me emotionally bruised. Did I do anything Wrong by asking my prospective Life Partner about her Sexual History? Don't I have the Right to know about this aspect of the Woman, I'd be Marrying? Was she right in taking offence at my Question? Can her Reaction be Justified? Does my Question warrant a Criminal Case against me (something as Heinous as 'Sexual Harassment')? How do I handle such situations in the Future? Should I avoid asking, any other prospects, in the future m, such sensitive personal Questions? What do I do, in case, any other Lady, behaves aggressively with me? Would it be better, if I Record our entire conversation, secretly, using a Bodycam, as a Pro-Active measure, to prove my Innocence & defend myself against Criminal Proceedings? Would it be Legal, to Record our Conversation, without her Knowledge or Consent? Or shall I seek her Consent & Proceed cautiously? Please Advise me, how to handle such sensitive situations, in the Future.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things have definitely changed in the dating and marriage scene from what it was even 20 or 10 years back...
But hey, I still have my reservations on whether women are comfortable answering very intimate questions...do you not think that a question on body count can be reserved to a future meeting maybe when the two of you show interest in each other and when transparency is vital to further the connection?
Right on Day 1, what is the necessity to jump about and get curious about it? Maybe if someone asked you, you would be okay with it but not everyone or every woman is going to be comfortable with it.
When you pay attention to what the other person wants and likes, there are minimal chances of you slipping up and irking them; where is the question then to take care of legal stuff, recording etc...
Genuinely be there with the other person in a conversation and when the rapport is built, the conversation flows effortlessly and you will start to enjoy it. Start to get curious about who they are as people rather than how many people they have slept with...This should help you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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