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Can I retire with a monthly income of 1.5 lakh at 35 with a 3-year-old daughter?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2024Hindi
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I have a daughter who is 3 years old, me and my wife are working and our age is 35 and 32. Our family income is 2.4 lakh, i am doing mutual funds of 80k per month, in mutual fund i have 19 lakh, i monthly do 12.5k ppf to me and my wife account each. For my daughter we took sukanya on which we put 5k monrhly, also i do nps of 6k monthly, in pf i have 6lakh and monthly contribution of 28k. I also own a house. When can i retire with monthly income of 1.5 lakh

Ans: Your financial discipline is commendable, and you are on the right track towards building a secure future. With a family income of Rs. 2.4 lakh per month, you are wisely investing in mutual funds, PPF, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), and NPS. These investments are building a strong foundation for your financial goals.

Let's break down your situation and create a plan for your early retirement goal with a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh.

Current Investments Overview
1. Mutual Funds:

You are investing Rs. 80,000 per month in mutual funds.
Your current corpus is Rs. 19 lakh, which is growing steadily.
2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

You contribute Rs. 12,500 each to your and your wife's PPF accounts, totaling Rs. 25,000 per month.
3. Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY):

You contribute Rs. 5,000 monthly towards your daughter’s SSY account. This will secure her future education and marriage expenses.
4. National Pension System (NPS):

Your NPS contribution is Rs. 6,000 monthly. This will provide you with an additional income stream post-retirement.
5. Provident Fund (PF):

Your PF balance is Rs. 6 lakh with a monthly contribution of Rs. 28,000. This is a solid base for your retirement corpus.
6. Property Ownership:

You own a house, which adds to your financial security.
Evaluating Your Retirement Goal
Your goal is to retire with a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh. To achieve this, we need to assess the following:

1. Desired Corpus for Retirement:

To generate Rs. 1.5 lakh per month post-retirement, you would need a substantial corpus. This corpus should be large enough to sustain withdrawals over your expected retirement years without depleting prematurely.
2. Inflation Consideration:

Keep in mind that inflation will erode purchasing power. Hence, the corpus must grow to cover rising expenses over time.
Retirement Planning Strategy
1. Increase Equity Exposure:

Continue your SIPs in mutual funds. Equity funds tend to deliver inflation-beating returns over the long term. A balanced portfolio with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds can provide growth while managing risk.
2. PPF and SSY Contributions:

Your contributions to PPF and SSY are excellent for long-term security. However, these are more conservative investments. While they offer safety and tax benefits, they may not grow as fast as your equity investments.
3. NPS for Retirement Corpus:

NPS is a good option for retirement as it provides an additional income stream and tax benefits. However, the annuity component may limit your flexibility. Consider balancing NPS with other flexible investment options.
4. Consider SWP from Mutual Funds:

A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual funds can provide you with a regular income post-retirement. This strategy allows your corpus to continue growing while you withdraw a fixed amount periodically.
When Can You Retire?
1. Calculating the Required Corpus:

To retire with a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh, you will need a significant corpus. Assuming a withdrawal rate of 4-6% per annum, and considering inflation, the required corpus could range from Rs. 3 crore to Rs. 5 crore or more.
2. Projecting Your Corpus Growth:

With your current investments and contributions, your corpus will grow over time. Assuming an average annual return of 10-12% on your equity investments, and conservative returns on your PPF, SSY, and NPS, you could reach your target corpus within the next 10-15 years.
3. Adjustments and Monitoring:

Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it is on track to meet your retirement goal. You may need to increase your SIP amounts or adjust your asset allocation as you get closer to retirement.
Final Insights
You are on a solid path towards achieving financial independence. With your disciplined savings and investment strategy, you have laid a strong foundation. To retire with a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh, continue focusing on growing your corpus through equity investments, and consider using an SWP for passive income during retirement.

Remember to regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay aligned with your goals. With careful planning and consistent investments, you should be able to retire comfortably within the next 10-15 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am currently 43 years old. I would like to understand when I can retire. Here are my assets and savings. Have got 2 flats, one self occupied and other one rented for 25k per month. I have plot worth 80 lakhs. 20 lakhs in savings, still not invested anywhere. Another 50L in PF and gratuity. Have 2 ancestral homes generating 35k per month rent (worth 3 cr). My current salary is 2.5 lakhs per month after all deductions. We have two sons.
Ans: It's fantastic that you're planning ahead for your retirement! With your diverse assets and savings, you're well-positioned to achieve your retirement goals. Let's assess your situation to determine when retirement might be feasible:
1. Evaluate Assets and Savings: You have two flats, one rented out, a valuable plot, significant savings, and substantial funds in PF and gratuity. Additionally, rental income from ancestral homes provides a steady stream of income.
2. Calculate Expenses: Determine your current expenses and estimate future expenses, considering inflation and lifestyle changes. With rental income and other sources, you seem to have a stable income stream.
3. Financial Independence: Assess your financial independence by comparing your passive income from assets and savings with your expenses. If your passive income covers or exceeds your expenses, you're in a position to retire.
4. Consider Family Needs: Take into account your sons' education, marriage expenses, and other familial responsibilities. Ensure your retirement plan accommodates these needs without compromising your financial security.
5. Risk Management: While real estate can provide steady income, ensure you have a diversified investment portfolio to mitigate risk. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to optimize your asset allocation and investment strategy.
6. Retirement Timeline: Based on your current financial situation and retirement goals, you may be able to retire earlier than the standard retirement age. However, it's essential to consider factors like healthcare costs, longevity, and inflation when planning for retirement.
7. Regular Reviews: Periodically review your financial plan and retirement goals to ensure you're on track. Adjust your strategy as needed based on changes in your circumstances and market conditions.
With careful planning and prudent financial management, you can retire comfortably and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Consider seeking professional advice to fine-tune your retirement plan and make informed decisions.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir I'm 27 years old with monthly income 65k after all tax deductions. I am investing in MFs monthly 18k diversifying around 2 ELSS, 1 Index fund, 3 Small cap, 1 Thematic fund. 1 LIC with 3L sum assured paying 16788 annually. Investing 15k in gold scheme in gold shops. NPS 6000 monthly. Corporate Medical insurance. 20k monthly expense as I am bachelor. I want to buy a house. When can I retire? Please let me know any change do I need to make in my investments. Thank you for your time.
Ans: Your financial journey is commendable. Investing Rs 18,000 monthly in mutual funds and Rs 15,000 in a gold scheme shows your dedication. You have a balanced approach towards saving and spending. Your monthly income of Rs 65,000 after taxes is well-utilized. Let’s dive into the details of your current investments and explore how you can achieve your goals of buying a house and planning for retirement.

Mutual Funds: A Deep Dive
Your mutual fund portfolio is diverse, covering various segments like ELSS, small caps, and thematic funds. However, the inclusion of an index fund may need reconsideration. Index funds, while low-cost, often underperform compared to actively managed funds, especially in the Indian market. Active funds, managed by skilled professionals, can navigate market complexities better, potentially offering higher returns.

ELSS Funds
ELSS funds are a great choice for tax saving and wealth creation. They have a lock-in period of three years, which encourages long-term investment. However, ensure you’re choosing funds with a consistent track record and reliable management.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can offer high returns but come with high volatility. Investing in three small cap funds may be over-diversification within a volatile segment. Consider reducing this to two well-performing small cap funds and reallocating the freed-up capital to other diversified equity funds.

Thematic Funds
Thematic funds are focused on specific sectors. They can be rewarding but are also risky due to their concentration in a particular theme. Ensure the theme aligns with long-term economic growth and not just a short-term trend.

Life Insurance: Review and Recommendations
You have an LIC policy with a sum assured of Rs 3 lakhs, paying Rs 16,788 annually. LIC policies often come with lower returns compared to pure investment products. Consider if the primary purpose of your LIC policy is insurance or investment.

If it’s primarily for investment, think about redirecting these funds into mutual funds. Pure term insurance can offer higher coverage at a lower premium, providing better financial security.

Gold Investment: A Balanced Approach
Investing Rs 15,000 monthly in a gold scheme is substantial. Gold is a good hedge against inflation but lacks the potential for high returns like equity. Consider balancing your gold investment with other asset classes to enhance overall portfolio growth.

NPS: A Solid Retirement Plan
Your monthly contribution of Rs 6,000 to the NPS is wise. NPS offers tax benefits and a disciplined retirement savings plan. Ensure you choose an appropriate mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities within the NPS to optimize growth and stability.

Corporate Medical Insurance: Safety Net
Having corporate medical insurance is a plus. However, ensure you have a personal health insurance plan as well. Corporate insurance policies can change with employment status, and personal health insurance offers continued coverage.

Monthly Expenses: Efficient Management
Your monthly expenses of Rs 20,000 as a bachelor show disciplined spending. Maintaining this habit will help you save and invest more, speeding up your journey towards buying a house and retiring early.

Buying a House: Planning Ahead
Buying a house is a significant financial goal. Given your current savings and investments, start by saving for the down payment. Assess your EMI affordability based on your current income and expenses. Typically, EMIs should not exceed 40% of your monthly income to ensure financial stability.

Retirement Planning: The Road Ahead
Retiring early is a dream for many. To achieve this, calculate your retirement corpus based on expected expenses post-retirement. Factor in inflation and healthcare costs. Aim to build a diversified portfolio of equity, debt, and other instruments to generate a sustainable retirement income.

Investment Adjustments: Recommendations
Review and Adjust Mutual Funds
Reduce the number of small cap funds to two.

Reallocate funds from the index fund to actively managed diversified equity funds.

Ensure ELSS and thematic funds have a solid track record.

Life Insurance Optimization
Evaluate the purpose of your LIC policy. If it’s for investment, consider surrendering it and redirecting funds to mutual funds.

Opt for a term insurance plan for better coverage.

Gold Investment Balance
Consider reducing monthly gold investments slightly and redirecting to mutual funds or other high-return instruments.

Maintain a balanced portfolio to mitigate risks.

Additional Health Insurance
Secure a personal health insurance policy for comprehensive coverage.
Focused Saving for House Purchase
Open a separate savings account or invest in short-term debt funds for your house down payment.

Regularly review and adjust savings based on real estate market trends and personal financial growth.

Enhanced Retirement Savings
Increase NPS contributions gradually as your income grows.

Diversify retirement investments across mutual funds, PPF, and other long-term instruments.

Your proactive approach towards saving and investing is admirable. Balancing various investment avenues while managing monthly expenses efficiently is commendable. Your dedication to securing a house and planning for early retirement shows foresight and responsibility.

Final Insights
Your current financial plan is robust, but with a few adjustments, it can be optimized further. Reassessing your mutual fund portfolio, balancing gold investments, and ensuring adequate insurance coverage are key steps. Saving diligently for a house and enhancing retirement contributions will help achieve your goals.

Continue your disciplined approach, regularly review your investments, and stay informed about market trends. This will ensure your financial journey remains on track, leading to a secure and fulfilling future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 45 yrs Currently earning 3.20 lakh per mnth Get a rent of 40k from one of my flat Have another flat which i have sold for 2.80cr and bought a new 4.5 bhk flat for 3cr which is underconstruction will be getting the possession in Dec 25. My mom and my Mil stay with me .I am paying rent of 73k per month.I have a Emi of 35k per month. I have 2 daughters 17 and 11 yrs .I am the sole bread earner at home.As per you when can i retire. Fd 1.5 cr
Ans: Firstly, I admire your careful planning and management of finances. Balancing a high-earning job, significant family responsibilities, and substantial investments showcases commendable foresight and dedication. You’ve outlined a strong foundation with a diversified asset base and income streams. Let's evaluate how these elements play into your retirement planning and future financial security.

Income Streams and Expenses
You earn a significant monthly salary of Rs. 3.20 lakhs and receive an additional Rs. 40,000 as rental income. This gives you a total monthly income of Rs. 3.60 lakhs. However, there are significant outflows to consider:

Rent Payment: Rs. 73,000 per month
EMI Payment: Rs. 35,000 per month
Given these, your net disposable income is around Rs. 2.52 lakhs per month. With this, you need to manage household expenses, save for retirement, and plan for your daughters' futures.

Asset Allocation and Liquidity
You have substantial assets and investments:

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 1.5 crores
Sold Flat Proceeds: Used towards a new 4.5 BHK flat worth Rs. 3 crores
This provides a significant safety net and potential growth in real estate value, though the latter is less liquid.

Evaluating Retirement Readiness
Retirement readiness depends on multiple factors: current income, expenses, asset base, and future financial goals. Given your high earnings and substantial savings, let's evaluate each aspect:

Monthly Income and Retirement Needs
With Rs. 3.20 lakhs per month from your job and Rs. 40,000 in rental income, you have a strong earning base. Post-retirement, your income will primarily come from your savings and investments.

To estimate your retirement readiness, consider these factors:

Living Expenses: Estimate your monthly expenses post-retirement. Typically, it's around 70-80% of pre-retirement expenses. Assume Rs. 2.50 lakhs monthly as a conservative estimate.

Healthcare Costs: Medical expenses often rise with age. Ensure you have adequate health insurance and a separate medical emergency fund.

Lifestyle and Leisure: Factor in costs for travel, hobbies, or any leisure activities you wish to pursue.

Investments and Growth
Your FD of Rs. 1.5 crores provides a stable base. However, the returns are limited compared to other investment options. Let's explore strategies to enhance your investment portfolio for better growth:

Diversify Investments: Consider diversifying into equity mutual funds, which offer higher returns over the long term. This can help outpace inflation and grow your retirement corpus significantly.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Start or increase SIPs in a mix of large-cap and multi-cap equity funds. SIPs help in averaging market risks and compounding growth over time.

Debt Mutual Funds: These are safer than equities but provide better returns than FDs. They offer a good balance for risk-averse investors nearing retirement.

Planning for Major Financial Goals
You have key financial goals to consider, especially your daughters' education and future, your new home, and retirement. Let’s break down the strategies for each.

1. Daughters’ Education and Marriage
Your daughters are 17 and 11, so education expenses are imminent, especially for higher education. Here’s how you can plan:

Education Fund: Allocate a portion of your monthly surplus towards a dedicated education fund. Use equity mutual funds for long-term growth to cover higher education costs.

Marriage Fund: Start a separate savings plan for their marriage. Use a mix of FDs and balanced funds for a moderate-risk approach.

2. New Home Purchase
You’ve invested in a new 4.5 BHK flat, expected to be ready by December 2025. Here’s how you can manage this investment:

EMI Management: Ensure your EMI of Rs. 35,000 is comfortably managed within your budget.

Home Furnishing and Setup: Start a dedicated fund for furnishing and setting up your new home. Allocate monthly savings towards this fund to avoid a financial crunch when you move in.

3. Retirement Corpus
Building a robust retirement corpus is crucial for financial independence post-retirement. Here’s a strategy:

Retirement Fund: Continue building your FD and diversify into equity and debt mutual funds for better growth. Aim for a corpus that can generate regular income to cover your monthly expenses.

Pension Plans: Explore pension plans or annuities that provide regular income post-retirement. This ensures a steady cash flow even without active employment.

Balancing Family Responsibilities
Caring for your mother and mother-in-law, along with your daughters, requires meticulous planning. Here are some strategies:

Healthcare Costs: Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage for all family members. Allocate funds for any additional medical expenses.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a robust emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. This provides financial security and peace of mind.

Optimizing Tax Savings
Maximizing tax efficiency is essential to retain more of your earnings. Here’s how you can optimize your tax savings:

Tax-saving Investments: Continue investing in tax-saving instruments like ELSS, PPF, and NPS. These provide deductions under Section 80C.

Home Loan Benefits: Avail of tax benefits on your home loan EMIs under Sections 24(b) and 80C. This reduces your taxable income significantly.

Health Insurance Deductions: Utilize deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums paid for yourself and your family.

Long-term Investment Strategy
Your financial goals span across different time horizons. Here’s how to align your investments accordingly:

Short-term Goals (2-5 years): For immediate goals like home setup and daughters' education, use low-risk, high-liquidity instruments like FDs, short-term debt funds, and recurring deposits.

Medium-term Goals (5-10 years): For goals like daughters’ marriage and further education, use balanced funds and diversified mutual funds. These offer moderate growth with manageable risk.

Long-term Goals (10+ years): For retirement and long-term security, focus on equity mutual funds, SIPs, and pension plans. These provide the best potential for growth over time.

Regular Review and Adjustment
Financial planning is dynamic. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals. Here’s how:

Annual Review: Conduct a thorough review of your financial plan annually. Assess investment performance and adjust based on changing needs or market conditions.

Rebalancing: Rebalance your portfolio periodically to maintain the desired asset allocation. Shift funds between equities, debts, and FDs as needed.

Goal Adjustment: Revisit your goals periodically. Adjust your savings and investments based on life changes, market trends, and evolving priorities.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP can provide tailored advice to optimize your financial plan. Here’s how they can help:

Personalized Planning: A CFP can create a detailed plan based on your unique financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance.

Investment Strategy: They can recommend a diversified investment strategy that aligns with your goals and maximizes returns.

Tax Optimization: A CFP can help you identify tax-saving opportunities and ensure your investments are tax-efficient.

Risk Management: They can assess your insurance needs and ensure you have adequate coverage for all potential risks.

Final Insights
Your financial journey is impressive, balancing high earnings, family responsibilities, and strategic investments. Here’s a summary of steps to secure your future and determine your retirement readiness:

Diversify Investments: Allocate funds across equity, debt, and balanced mutual funds for optimal growth and risk management.

Build Specific Funds: Create dedicated funds for your daughters' education and marriage, home setup, and emergency needs.

Optimize Tax Savings: Maximize deductions and benefits through strategic investments and home loan management.

Plan for Retirement: Continue building your retirement corpus with a mix of FDs, SIPs, and pension plans.

Regular Monitoring: Review and adjust your financial plan annually to stay aligned with your goals.

Consult a CFP: Seek professional advice to refine your financial strategy and ensure comprehensive planning for all aspects of your life.

By following these strategies, you can achieve a secure and fulfilling retirement while meeting your family’s needs and goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Money
Hello , I am a 37 years old single mother of a five year old child. I hve about 2 crores in my FD . I invest in NPS ( 10K per month , current corpus 2.5 lakh) , PPF current corpus 4 lakh, MF ( current corpus 10 lakh ), Invest bout 80k every month in Mutual funds , I hve a flat , I am a government servant . I invest about 5 lakhs per year in PF account ( present corpus 25 lkh ) , I will retire with 1 crore benifits after 6 years . My monthly current expenses is about 1.2 lakh . What is the best time for me to retire , I want to take early retirement. My pension including my husbnds pension would be around 3 lakhs per month after retirement
Ans: You have a strong financial foundation with diverse investments, which is commendable. Your assets include:

Rs 2 crores in Fixed Deposits (FD)
Monthly investments in NPS, with a current corpus of Rs 2.5 lakhs
Rs 4 lakhs in PPF
Rs 10 lakhs in Mutual Funds, with Rs 80,000 invested monthly
Rs 5 lakh annual contributions to your Provident Fund (PF), with a current corpus of Rs 25 lakhs
Rs 1 crore in retirement benefits, expected after 6 years
A flat as an owned asset
Your expenses are Rs 1.2 lakh monthly, and you expect a pension of Rs 3 lakhs per month, which includes your husband's pension.

Analyzing Your Retirement Plan
Retirement Timing
Given your expenses and the expected Rs 3 lakh monthly pension, your post-retirement lifestyle appears secure. You are planning for an early retirement, and with your current savings and investment habits, you could potentially retire comfortably even before the standard retirement age.

However, the exact age for early retirement depends on how well your investments grow in the coming years and how comfortably you want to live. Let’s explore some key aspects of your investments:

Your FD is a safe option but provides limited growth compared to equity-based options like mutual funds.
Your mutual fund investments show that you have a long-term growth focus, which is great.
You have Rs 25 lakhs in PF, which is a steady, low-risk investment.
Since your monthly pension will cover your current expenses (Rs 1.2 lakh), you can consider retiring earlier, depending on the growth of your investments.

Maximizing Your Mutual Fund Investments
Diversification Strategy
You are investing Rs 80,000 per month in mutual funds, which is a smart move, given your long-term goals. Here's how you can optimize your mutual fund portfolio:

Continue with a mix of equity and debt funds: Equity funds will help you achieve capital appreciation over the long term. Since you’re looking for long-term growth, keeping most of your SIPs in equity mutual funds will offer high returns over time.
Increase your exposure to mid-cap and small-cap funds: These funds may offer higher growth potential. You can allocate a small portion of your monthly SIPs here.
Reduce exposure to low-growth options: If any of your mutual funds are underperforming, consider switching to better-performing funds.
Stepping Up SIPs
You’re already stepping up your SIPs by Rs 5,000-8,000 every year. Continue this practice as it will help you take advantage of compounding and market growth.

Considering NPS and PPF
Your NPS contributions will provide you with a stable retirement corpus, which is also tax-efficient. Keep contributing Rs 10,000 per month, but also focus on increasing your mutual fund contributions if possible, as NPS returns are lower than mutual funds.

The PPF is a secure investment, but with long lock-in periods and lower returns than equity funds. You may continue contributing but focus more on market-linked instruments for growth.

Emergency Fund and Contingency Planning
It's important to keep aside 6-12 months of your expenses in a liquid form like savings or FDs for emergencies. With Rs 2 crores in FD, you are well-covered in this aspect.

Final Insights
You are in a strong financial position. With Rs 80,000 monthly SIPs in mutual funds, Rs 10,000 in NPS, and Rs 5 lakhs annually in PF, you are steadily building a solid retirement corpus.

Considering your Rs 3 lakh pension, early retirement could be an option if your investments continue to grow as expected. However, to ensure financial independence for a longer post-retirement period, it’s advisable to:

Continue or even increase mutual fund SIPs for capital appreciation.
Monitor and review your portfolio regularly to ensure your funds are performing well.
Consider reducing fixed deposits if you feel comfortable taking on a bit more risk for potentially higher returns in mutual funds or other long-term growth assets.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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