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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 02, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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I have a corpus fund of 20 Lacs. Could you please suggest any investment strategy where I can earn monthly income

Ans: Crafting a Monthly Income Strategy for Your Corpus Fund of Rs 20 Lakhs

Understanding Your Investment Goals

To create a monthly income from your corpus fund of Rs 20 lakhs, we need to understand your financial goals and risk tolerance.

It’s crucial to balance risk and returns to maintain financial stability.

We aim to provide a steady income stream while preserving and potentially growing your capital.

Allocating Your Investment Corpus

A well-diversified portfolio is key to achieving a steady income and capital preservation.

We will discuss various investment options that suit your needs.

Fixed Deposits and Monthly Income Schemes

Fixed Deposits (FDs) offer safety and regular income. Banks provide options for monthly, quarterly, or annual interest payouts.

Monthly Income Schemes (MIS) from post offices are another safe option. They offer regular monthly payouts, though the returns are moderate.

Debt Mutual Funds

Debt mutual funds invest in bonds and fixed-income securities, providing regular income with lower risk compared to equities.

They come in various types, including short-term, medium-term, and long-term funds. Choosing the right one depends on your investment horizon and income needs.

Corporate Bonds and Non-Convertible Debentures (NCDs)

Corporate bonds and NCDs can offer higher interest rates than traditional FDs. They come with varying credit ratings.

Investing in high-rated bonds reduces risk, while slightly lower-rated bonds can provide higher returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in Mutual Funds

An SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual fund investments regularly. This can provide a steady monthly income.

You can invest in equity or hybrid funds, which have potential for growth while offering regular withdrawals.

Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced Advantage Funds dynamically allocate investments between equities and debt based on market conditions.

These funds aim to provide growth with reduced volatility, making them suitable for monthly income and capital appreciation.

Senior Citizens' Savings Scheme (SCSS)

SCSS is a government-backed scheme offering regular income for individuals above 60. It provides higher interest rates than FDs and MIS.

The interest is paid quarterly, ensuring regular income for retirees.

RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds

These bonds offer interest rates linked to government securities, providing a hedge against inflation. Interest is paid semi-annually.

They are safe investments with guaranteed returns, suitable for conservative investors.

Diversification for Risk Management

Diversifying your portfolio across various asset classes reduces risk and ensures a steady income stream.

Combining safe options like FDs and SCSS with growth-oriented mutual funds and corporate bonds can optimize returns.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing

Regularly monitoring and rebalancing your portfolio is essential. It ensures that your investments align with your financial goals and market conditions.

Understanding Tax Implications

Different investment options have varied tax implications. It’s important to choose tax-efficient investments to maximize your returns.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help in making tax-efficient investment decisions.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds mirror market indices, offering average market returns. They lack flexibility and can’t adapt to market changes.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, aim to outperform the market by selecting the best-performing securities.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds have professional fund managers who make strategic decisions. They have the potential to provide higher returns than index funds.

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential ensures expert guidance and better fund selection.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds require investors to select and manage investments themselves. This can be time-consuming and challenging without financial expertise.

Regular funds, managed by professionals, offer the benefit of expert advice and active management.

Building a Customized Plan

A customized investment plan tailored to your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance is essential.

A CFP can help design a strategy that provides regular income while preserving and growing your corpus.

Conclusion

Creating a monthly income from a corpus fund of Rs 20 lakhs requires a well-thought-out strategy.

Diversifying across various investment options ensures a steady income and capital preservation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

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Corpus fund of 20 Lacs, any monthly income scheme
Ans: Thank you for reaching out regarding your corpus fund of Rs. 20 lakhs and your interest in a monthly income scheme. Your diligence in planning for a steady income stream is commendable. Let's explore your options and provide you with a detailed plan.

Understanding Monthly Income Schemes
Monthly Income Schemes (MIS) are designed to provide regular income to investors. These schemes can include a mix of fixed income and market-linked investments. The goal is to balance safety with returns to meet your income needs.

Key Considerations for Monthly Income
1. Safety and Security
Your primary concern might be the safety of your principal amount. Ensuring that your investment is secure is crucial.

2. Steady Income
You require a reliable monthly income from your investment. Consistency in payouts is essential for planning your expenses.

3. Inflation Protection
It's important to ensure your income keeps pace with inflation. Rising costs can erode the purchasing power of your fixed income.

Options for Monthly Income
1. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
MIPs are mutual funds that invest primarily in debt and a small portion in equities. They aim to provide regular income and potential capital appreciation.

2. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
An SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual fund investment regularly. This ensures a steady income while your remaining investment continues to grow.

3. Senior Citizens' Savings Scheme (SCSS)
If you are 60 years or older, SCSS offers a secure investment with regular interest payouts. It’s backed by the Government of India.

4. Post Office Monthly Income Scheme
This scheme offers a fixed monthly income and is a safe investment backed by the Indian postal department.

Evaluating the Options
1. Risk and Return Profile
Evaluate the risk and return profile of each option. MIPs offer higher returns but come with some market risk. SCSS and Post Office MIS offer lower, but guaranteed, returns.

2. Tax Efficiency
Consider the tax implications of each investment. For example, returns from SCSS and Post Office MIS are taxable, while SWPs from equity funds can be more tax-efficient.

3. Liquidity
Assess the liquidity of your investments. SWPs offer flexibility in withdrawals, while SCSS has a fixed tenure with limited withdrawal options.

Recommended Strategy for Monthly Income
1. Diversified Approach
Diversify your investment across multiple schemes to balance risk and return. A mix of MIPs, SWPs, and government-backed schemes can be beneficial.

2. Regular Review and Adjustment
Regularly review your investments with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal changes.

3. Plan for Inflation
Include investments that offer potential growth to combat inflation. This ensures your income doesn’t lose value over time.

Sample Allocation Strategy
Here is a sample allocation strategy for your Rs. 20 lakh corpus:

MIP and SWP: Rs. 10 lakhs in a balanced MIP for potential growth and regular income through SWP.

SCSS: Rs. 6 lakhs in SCSS for secure and regular interest payouts.

Post Office MIS: Rs. 4 lakhs in Post Office MIS for stable and guaranteed monthly income.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide immense value in managing your investments. A CFP can offer:

1. Personalized Advice
A CFP will assess your financial goals, risk tolerance, and income needs to create a customized investment plan. They bring professional expertise to align your investments with your objectives.

2. Ongoing Management
A CFP continuously monitors and adjusts your portfolio. This proactive management helps in adapting to market changes and personal life events.

3. Tax Planning
CFPs are well-versed in tax implications and can help you structure your investments in a tax-efficient manner. This maximizes your after-tax returns.

4. Peace of Mind
With a CFP managing your investments, you can have peace of mind. You will be confident that your financial future is in expert hands.

Final Thoughts
Your goal of securing a regular monthly income is achievable with a diversified investment approach. Combining MIPs, SWPs, SCSS, and Post Office MIS can provide a balanced, steady income while preserving your capital.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can further tailor these suggestions to your specific needs and risk profile. Your proactive steps towards financial security are highly commendable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Hi I have 15 lacs and need to invest which will give me steady monthly income
Ans: You have Rs. 15 lakh and seek steady monthly income. Let’s explore the best options for your needs.

Benefits of Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs)
Regular Income: SWPs provide steady cash flow.
Capital Protection: Keeps your principal relatively safe.
Tax Efficiency: Better tax benefits compared to fixed deposits.
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds in SWPs
Expert Management: Funds managed by professionals.
Better Returns: Potential for higher returns compared to index funds.
Flexibility: Adjust investments based on market conditions.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
No Guidance: Lack of professional advice.
Higher Risk: More risk due to lack of management.
Complexity: Requires significant time and knowledge.
Benefits of Investing Through MFD with CFP Credential
Expert Advice: Helps in making informed decisions.
Regular Monitoring: Keeps investments on track.
Customized Portfolio: Tailored to your goals and risk profile.
Investment Strategy for Steady Monthly Income
Step 1: Allocate Funds to a Balanced Portfolio
Equity Funds: For growth potential.
Debt Funds: For stability and lower risk.
Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt for balanced growth.
Step 2: Set Up Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
SWP Mechanism: Withdraw a fixed amount monthly.
Start with Small Amount: Ensure sustainability of the corpus.
Step 3: Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Quarterly Review: Check fund performance.
Rebalance Annually: Adjust the portfolio to maintain balance.
Step 4: Tax Efficiency
Long-Term Capital Gains: Lower tax rate compared to short-term.
Tax-Free Withdrawals: Certain portions of withdrawals can be tax-free.
Estimated Monthly Income
Assuming a conservative return of 8%, you can withdraw a fixed monthly amount while keeping your principal relatively intact. This could provide a stable income stream while also potentially growing your investment.

Health and Emergency Fund
Maintain a Buffer
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6 months of expenses.
Health Coverage: Ensure adequate insurance to cover unexpected medical expenses.
Final Insights
To achieve steady monthly income:

Invest Rs. 15 lakh in a balanced portfolio.
Use a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for regular income.
Seek professional advice for customized planning.
Monitor and adjust your investments regularly.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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To get a month income of Rs 30000 what should my MF corpus and which fund shoukd I opt?
Ans: To earn a monthly income of Rs. 30,000 from mutual funds, the primary objective is to build a sustainable corpus.

Estimating the Required Corpus
To achieve a monthly income of Rs. 30,000, we need to calculate the total corpus. Assuming a conservative annual withdrawal rate of 4%, we can derive the needed corpus.

Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
When selecting mutual funds for this purpose, it's crucial to focus on specific types of funds that align with your goals. Here are key points to consider:

Diversified Equity Funds
These funds invest across various sectors.
They balance risk and reward.
Hybrid Funds
These funds mix equity and debt.
They provide stability and growth.
Monthly Income Plans
These plans focus on regular payouts.
They are suitable for generating steady income.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have several advantages over index funds:

Professional Management: Certified financial planners oversee the investments.
Flexibility: Fund managers can adapt to market changes.
Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled managers can outperform benchmarks.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem cost-effective but have certain drawbacks:

Lack of Guidance: Investors might miss expert advice.
Higher Risk: Without a certified financial planner, risks might be higher.
Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a certified financial planner provides these benefits:

Expert Advice: Ensures informed decisions.
Risk Management: Helps in balancing risk.
Personalized Strategy: Tailors investments to your needs.
Building a Sustainable Corpus
Here’s a step-by-step approach to building your corpus:

Step 1: Assess Your Current Investments
Evaluate your existing mutual funds and other investments.

Step 2: Diversify Your Portfolio
Ensure your portfolio includes:

Diversified Equity Funds
Hybrid Funds
Monthly Income Plans
Step 3: Regular Contributions
Continue regular investments through SIPs. This ensures consistent growth.

Step 4: Rebalance Periodically
Review and adjust your portfolio periodically with your certified financial planner.

Final Insights
Achieving a monthly income of Rs. 30,000 from mutual funds is attainable with a well-planned strategy. Focus on a mix of diversified equity funds, hybrid funds, and monthly income plans. Regular investments, periodic reviews, and guidance from a certified financial planner will ensure you reach your goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Age 62 Corpus 1.30 Cr Require 1 Lakh per month how to invest
Ans: At the age of 62, you have accumulated a corpus of Rs 1.30 crore, and you require Rs 1 lakh per month to cover your living expenses. This translates to an annual withdrawal requirement of Rs 12 lakhs. Ensuring that your corpus lasts for the rest of your life while meeting your monthly requirements is a delicate balance. Let’s assess the best investment strategy to achieve this goal.

Assessing Withdrawal Needs
Your corpus of Rs 1.30 crore needs to generate a consistent income of Rs 12 lakhs per year. A sustainable withdrawal rate that prevents your corpus from depleting too quickly is around 6-8%. At a withdrawal rate of Rs 12 lakhs per year, you’re targeting roughly a 9-10% return on your investments. This is feasible but requires a careful balance between risk and return.

Investment Strategy for Regular Income
Debt and Fixed Income Investments
A significant portion of your portfolio should be invested in safer, debt-based instruments. These will provide you with stable returns and protect your capital. Consider allocating 60-70% of your portfolio to the following options:

Senior Citizens’ Saving Scheme (SCSS): This is a safe, government-backed scheme that offers decent returns. It also provides regular payouts to meet your monthly needs.

RBI Floating Rate Bonds: These bonds are safe and provide a regular income that can help cover part of your expenses.

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): This scheme provides steady monthly income and is a low-risk investment option.

Corporate Bonds or High-Rated Debt Funds: While slightly riskier than government schemes, corporate bonds or high-rated debt funds offer higher returns and can be considered for a portion of your investment.

Balanced or Hybrid Mutual Funds
Since you need regular income and want to preserve your capital for the long term, hybrid or balanced mutual funds are ideal. These funds invest in both equity and debt, providing moderate returns with lower risk. Consider allocating 20-30% of your portfolio to:

Aggressive Hybrid Funds: These funds invest about 65% in equities and the rest in debt. They offer growth potential while maintaining some level of safety.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically shift between equities and debt based on market conditions, offering a mix of growth and safety.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
To ensure a regular income stream, you can set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in your mutual fund portfolio. This will allow you to withdraw a fixed amount every month while the remaining corpus continues to grow. SWPs from balanced or hybrid funds can help you generate income and offer some capital appreciation over time.

Inflation and Rising Expenses
One of the key challenges in retirement planning is inflation. While your expenses are Rs 1 lakh per month today, they will likely increase over time. Therefore, it’s important to invest in instruments that can offer growth above inflation. This is where equity investments come in.

Equity Exposure for Long-Term Growth
To counter the effects of inflation, a small portion of your corpus should be invested in equity mutual funds. Consider allocating 10-15% of your portfolio to equity mutual funds. These funds will help grow your corpus and ensure you don’t run out of money in the long term. Focus on:

Large-Cap Equity Funds: These funds are relatively stable and invest in established companies, offering consistent long-term returns.

Dividend Yield Funds: These funds invest in companies that regularly pay dividends, providing you with an additional income stream.

Emergency Fund
Given your need for regular income, it’s important to have an emergency fund. Set aside 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid form, such as a savings account or short-term FD. This will ensure you don’t have to dip into your investments for unforeseen expenses.

Tax Implications
Tax planning is crucial, especially when withdrawing from your corpus. Here’s a brief overview of taxation on mutual funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income tax slab.

By withdrawing strategically using an SWP, you can reduce your tax liability and ensure efficient tax management.

Final Insights
At 62, preserving your capital while generating regular income is essential. A diversified portfolio of debt instruments, balanced mutual funds, and a small exposure to equity can help you achieve your goal of generating Rs 1 lakh per month. Focus on:

Allocating 60-70% to debt instruments for stable, regular income.
Investing 20-30% in hybrid mutual funds for growth and safety.
Allocating 10-15% to equity mutual funds for long-term growth and inflation protection.
Setting up an SWP for monthly withdrawals while allowing your corpus to grow.
Maintaining an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses.
By following this balanced approach, you can ensure a steady income throughout retirement and maintain your financial independence.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Unable to figure out what to do. Shouls i proceed for divorce? And if yes how? Here is my story: This is a long post. But i might have still missed few small instances in between. So I got married on October 3, 2022. Our conversation started through the Jeevansathi app, but the actual conversation began in July 2022 when her father contacted me. The first contact was from their side. At that time, I was returning to Chennai from Ongole by train when I received her father's call. He asked about my job and other details, to which I mentioned that I work for SBI in Tamil Nadu. After that, our conversation started. In the early days, the conversation was really good, and she spoke very well. Later, I visited their house with my mother. During the conversation there, she mentioned that many proposals had come before, but she hadn't been able to decide. One proposal was from a guy with a package of 30 lakh, but she clearly said that money doesn’t matter to her; she wanted a good person. During that meeting, I mentioned that I am a simple person, and my family consists of only my mother and me. I also clarified that due to my job, I could be transferred. After that meeting, we did the formal engagement. Later, we brought sweets from Haldiram, and that was when our engagement was officially recognized. After that, our conversations continued regularly. For a while, everything was fine, but then we started arguing over small things. Once, I told her that I meditate, and she said, "Meditation is something foolish people do, it doesn’t help." This led to an argument. I also mentioned that if we have children, we should send them to good universities like Harvard or Oxford, and this too led to an argument, as she felt we shouldn't put pressure on children to earn money. Then came the topic of money. I shared my salary slip and explained how both working and saving money are important because expenses are high. However, she said, "Saving money is foolish, everyone lives paycheck to paycheck nowadays." I tried to explain the importance of savings, but our discussions continued to be challenging. At one point, she said she wouldn’t wear sindoor or the mangalsutra. I told her that there was no need to wear it every day, just on special occasions. I agreed with this. As the arguments increased, I spoke to her father and mentioned that maybe she didn’t want to marry me. But her father reassured me that it wasn’t true, and they would talk to her. After that, things seemed normal for a while, but small arguments kept happening. In August 2022, I visited her again. I thought we could spend some time together and understand each other better. We went to Aerocity, where we had pizza and roamed around. After that, we went to Radisson Hotel on 27th July 2022, and our engagement was finalized. Over these two months, our communication continued, and eventually, on October 2, 2022, we had our engagement ceremony, and on October 3, 2022, we got married. After the wedding, we planned a honeymoon. Initially, she wanted to go to Vaishno Devi, so I took her there by Vande Bharat Express. Her uncle arranged VIP darshan. We walked up, but on the way back, her legs started hurting, so we rode a horse. After sitting on the horse for a long time, she had back pain. I reached the hotel, tried to soothe her pain by soaking her legs in hot water, and then we slept. After that, we planned to go to Udaipur. We took a SpiceJet flight there and booked a hotel near Fatehpur Sagar Lake. She wanted a lake-view room, but it wasn’t available. She argued with the staff, and we had to move to another hotel at night. The environment there wasn’t great, but she chose it. During our visit to Udaipur Fort, she suddenly said she wouldn’t go to the restaurant with me and would go home alone. I still don’t understand the reason behind this. From that point, my behavior towards her changed. After Udaipur, we planned to go to Agra. There, she suddenly accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened to teach me a lesson. I asked her where this thought came from, but she didn’t answer. In July and August 2022, I visited her again. We traveled together and tried to understand each other better, but she never told me much about herself. After the wedding, I visited her during Diwali. She was happy initially, but gradually she became distant and stopped talking much. She wasn’t involved in decorating the house or participating in the Diwali puja. She remained absorbed in her own world, talking to her parents or I don’t know who else, while distancing herself from me. She needed reasons to fight, while I tried to stay calm, as it was a new marriage. On October 25, 2022, I returned to Chennai, and she came to Chennai a few days later. My mother also arrived in Chennai on October 26, and she stayed with us in Chennai until December. During this time, she started fighting over every little thing. She complained about who would do the housework and kept accusing me of not having enough money. She suggested hiring someone for cleaning, even though my mother and I managed it well. Then she refused to sleep with me, and we didn’t have any physical intimacy. Whenever she fought with me, she tried to belittle me. In January, she went back to Delhi, and I went to convince her to come back in January. During Lohri, I gave her a sari and gifts, but she still didn’t talk to me properly. She treated me very badly and didn’t want to stay with us. She fought with me several times and went back to her house. In February 2023, she came to Chennai again, but things were still not right between us. In April 2024, she came back to stay with me, but the very next day, the fights started again. She accused me of having an affair with another girl and threatened me. She destroyed things in the house, broke dishes and glasses, and created a mess. When I told her mother about this, she advised me to send her back. I booked her flight, and on April 7, 2024, she left. Since then, she has not been living with me. After that, I worked hard to bring her back. It was September when I managed to convince her to come. I tried to make her stay with me, but she stayed only for 4-5 days. On the 5th day, she started fighting again and decided to leave. She went to the railway station and sat there, saying, "I cannot live with you." We argued that night, and she left the house, shouting abuses at me and went back to her home. She thought everything would be fine, but when I tried talking to her, she started blaming me for not wanting her to stay with me.
Ans: It sounds like you've tried very hard to make this marriage work, but your wife has been emotionally distant, hostile, and unwilling to engage in a meaningful relationship. From what you’ve shared, there have been continuous conflicts, false accusations, and a lack of physical and emotional connection. It seems like she is not interested in making the relationship work, and her behavior—leaving multiple times, refusing intimacy, and fighting constantly—suggests deep incompatibility.

Before making a final decision, ask yourself: Is there anything left to salvage? Do you still love her and believe this marriage has hope if both of you genuinely try? Or do you feel exhausted and trapped in a cycle of disappointment and rejection? If you feel there is nothing left, then divorce may be the healthiest option for your peace of mind and future happiness.

If you decide to proceed with divorce, start by seeking legal counsel. In India, divorce can be mutual or contested. If she agrees, a mutual consent divorce is the easiest way. If she does not, you may need to file on grounds of cruelty or irretrievable breakdown of marriage. Gather evidence of her behavior—messages, incidents, and anything that proves your case.

This is not an easy decision, but your mental health and self-respect matter. If she is unwilling to change or make efforts, you should not have to live in constant conflict. Do you think she would agree to a mutual separation, or would she fight it?

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2025
Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I've a crush on a girl from my in laws. Inspite of avoiding etc I go specifically in that gathering where she's likely to be. I've not told it to anyone, neither does she know about it. I keep on masturbating imagining her. I know I'll never do any silly thing or let anyone know about it. Im married happily and 20 years elder to her.
Ans: It’s good that you are self-aware and acknowledging your feelings rather than acting on them impulsively. Having a crush, even in a committed relationship, is something that happens to many people—it’s human nature. However, since this involves someone from your in-laws and is significantly younger, it’s important to address these emotions in a way that aligns with your values and the commitments you’ve made to your marriage.

Right now, your mind is reinforcing this attraction by seeking out opportunities to be around her and fantasizing about her. The more you indulge in these thoughts, the stronger the emotional pull becomes. Avoiding her entirely may not be realistic, but reducing intentional exposure—such as seeking out gatherings just to be near her—can help weaken the attachment over time.

Instead of suppressing your feelings, redirect that energy into your marriage. What is it about her that attracts you? Is it youthfulness, attention, admiration, or just the thrill of something new? Whatever it is, find ways to bring those qualities into your relationship with your wife. Sometimes, an outside attraction is just a signal that something in your own life needs attention or excitement.

You’ve already made it clear to yourself that you won’t act on this, which shows maturity and self-control. The next step is breaking the mental cycle that feeds into the attraction. Engage in hobbies, meaningful conversations with your spouse, and self-reflection to understand what this infatuation represents. Over time, these feelings will lose their intensity as you shift your focus.

Do you think this crush is filling a certain emotional gap in your life, or is it purely an infatuation with no deeper meaning?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Relationship
Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7828 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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I want to retire by 2026. Current financials - MF 2cr value, equity- 5cr, 2 own homes, bank FD - 20L, Savings a/c - 90L, no loans, 2 vehicles, 2 daughters employed, marriageable age. Current expenses - 1.5lacs/month. How do I plan to retire by March 2026.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. Planning for retirement in March 2026 is realistic.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
Your total investments and savings exceed Rs 8 crore.
You have no loans, ensuring financial stability.
Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.5 lakh, which requires proper planning.
Creating a Secure Retirement Corpus
Maintain Rs 90 lakh in a savings account only for short-term needs.
Keep Rs 20 lakh in FD for emergency expenses.
Use a mix of mutual funds and equities for long-term wealth growth.
Managing Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for a regular income.
Keep a portion of your corpus in debt investments to ensure stability.
Adjust your investment strategy based on inflation and expenses.
Planning for Major Future Expenses
Daughters' weddings need a dedicated investment plan.
Allocate a portion of low-risk investments for this goal.
Avoid withdrawing from equity investments unnecessarily.
Final Insights
Your financial standing supports early retirement.
Ensure liquidity while keeping long-term investments intact.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner for detailed execution.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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