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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 06, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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I have a corpus of 57 Lakhs till now and invest Rs 30000 per month in Mutual Funds which are basically mid cap funds and over a period of 5 years how much can I expect to accumulate and do I need to do any course correction

Ans: With your current corpus of 57 Lakhs and a monthly investment of Rs 30,000 in mid-cap mutual funds, let's explore your potential accumulation over the next 5 years and whether any course corrections are necessary:

Expected Accumulation in 5 Years:
Given your monthly investment of Rs 30,000 and assuming an average annual return of X%, your corpus after 5 years can be estimated.
The final amount will depend on various factors including the performance of the mid-cap funds, market conditions, and your investment strategy.
Course Correction Analysis:
Assess the performance of your mid-cap funds over the past few years to determine if they have met your expectations and investment objectives.
Consider factors such as fund performance relative to benchmarks, consistency, volatility, and expense ratios.
Evaluate your risk tolerance and investment horizon to ensure alignment with your chosen mid-cap funds.
Review the diversification of your mutual fund portfolio to mitigate risk and optimize returns.
Explore the possibility of rebalancing your portfolio or exploring other investment options based on changes in your financial goals, market conditions, or personal circumstances.
Professional Guidance:
Consult with a certified financial planner or investment advisor to conduct a comprehensive review of your investment portfolio.
Seek personalized advice tailored to your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance.
Consider enrolling in financial literacy courses or workshops to enhance your knowledge and skills in investment management and financial planning.
Regular Monitoring:
Stay proactive in monitoring the performance of your mutual fund investments and staying abreast of market trends and developments.
Review your investment strategy periodically and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your financial goals.
By evaluating your current investment approach, seeking professional guidance, and staying informed about market dynamics, you can make informed decisions and optimize your wealth accumulation over the next 5 years.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Omkeshwar

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Head, Rank MF - Answered on Sep 15, 2022

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I am 38 years old; I need your advice on how much corpus can be made with the following investments after 20 years; also please advise whether I need to stop/switch/step up any of the following mutual fund investments for next 20 years, below is my investment portfolio: 1. PPF every month 12500 (started on Apr 2017) 2. Sukankya Samriddhi Yojana every month 12500 (started on May 2018 but for FY 2018-19 only Rs 20000 was deposited, after that from Apr 2019 onwards, Rs 12500 is deposited every month)...this is for my 4 year old daughter 3. Mutual funds (Started in Nov 2019): Rs 20000 SIP monthly, following 10 funds: Rs 2000 each 3.1 Axis Bluechip Fund -Regular Plan - Growth, total amount invested so far RS 29000 3.2 Canara Robeco Blue Chip Equity Fund, total amount invested so far RS 29000 3.3 MIRAE ASSET EMERGING BLUECHIP REGULAR GROWTH, total amount invested so far RS 24000 3.4 HDFC Multi Cap Fund - Regular Plan - Growth Option, total amount invested so far RS 24000 3.5 HDFC Developed World Indexes Fund of Funds - Regular Plan - Growth Option, total amount invested so far RS 24000 3.6 ICICI Prudential NASDAQ 100 Index Fund - Growth, total amount invested so far RS 24000 3.7 L&T INFRASTRUCTURE FUND, total amount invested so far RS 29000 3.8 PARAG PARIKH FLEXI CAP FUND -REGULAR PLAN, total amount invested so far RS 29000 3.9 UTI NIFTY 50 INDEX FUND-REGULAR PLAN-GROWTH, total amount invested so far RS 24000 3.10 TATA DIGITAL INDIA FUND-REGULAR PLAN-GROWTH, total amount invested so far RS 24000 4. HDFC Life click 2 wealth Investment Rs 5000 monthly with discovery fund for 10 years (started in Nov 2019), total amount invested so far RS 45000
Ans: There sufficient diversification as far as asset allocation is considered.

In mutual funds the schemes are also fine, but too many!

The corpus that will get created by mutual funds in 20 years with monthly Investment of Rs 20000 is Rs 2.6 crore.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, i am 34 yrs now and invested in mutual funds from more than 2 and half yrs and its current value is 2.5 lakh and ppf with value 3 lakh and stocks worth 2 lakhs. I am also invested in ulip for 1 lack per annum 5 years and its current value is 7.2 lakh. If i invest in mutual funds(10000 per month) till 55 yrs how much corpus will i get?
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards investing and building wealth for your future. Your commitment to mutual funds, PPF, stocks, and ULIPs reflects a well-diversified investment portfolio.

Understanding Your Current Investments

Your investment portfolio comprising mutual funds, PPF, stocks, and ULIPs showcases a balanced mix of asset classes, indicating a thoughtful approach towards wealth creation.

Evaluating Mutual Fund Investment

By investing ?10,000 per month in mutual funds till the age of 55, you're adopting a disciplined savings approach that can potentially yield substantial returns over the long term.

Analyzing Expected Corpus

To estimate the corpus you may accumulate by the age of 55 through your monthly mutual fund investments, we need to consider several factors:

Investment Duration: With approximately 21 years left until you turn 55, your monthly investments have a considerable time horizon to grow.

Rate of Return: The expected rate of return on your mutual fund investments plays a crucial role in determining the final corpus. While past performance is not indicative of future results, historical data can provide insights into potential returns.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Investing through SIPs allows you to benefit from the power of compounding by regularly investing fixed amounts over time.

Estimating Future Corpus

To provide an estimate of the corpus you may accumulate by the age of 55, we can use a conservative annual return assumption for your mutual fund investments.

Considering historical market performance and assuming a moderate annual return rate, we can project the growth of your monthly investments over the next 21 years. By compounding your investments annually, we can calculate the future value of your mutual fund portfolio.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed mutual funds offer several benefits over passive index funds or ETFs:

Professional Management: Skilled fund managers actively monitor market trends and adjust portfolio allocations to capitalize on growth opportunities, potentially leading to higher returns.

Risk Management: Actively managed funds employ strategies to mitigate risks and optimize returns, providing investors with a balanced risk-return profile.

Final Words

While it's essential to have a long-term investment horizon and a disciplined savings approach, it's equally crucial to regularly review and adjust your investment strategy as per changing market conditions and personal financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

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Hi sir , I am investing in ICICI prudential india opportunities fund direct growth (sip 3000 pm) & Edelweiss mid cap fund regular growth ( sip 3000 pm) how much corpus should i expect in 5 years
Ans: You have made a commendable decision by investing through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds. Investing in ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund Direct Growth and Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund Regular Growth reflects a good blend of growth-oriented funds. Let’s analyze how much corpus you can expect in five years and how to optimize your investment strategy.

Understanding Your Current Investments
ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund
This fund focuses on capital appreciation by investing in opportunities across sectors and themes. It is a diversified equity fund with potential for high returns over the long term.

Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund
Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund invests in mid-sized companies with high growth potential. Mid-cap funds generally offer higher returns but come with higher volatility compared to large-cap funds.

SIP Contributions and Expected Returns
SIP Details
ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund: ?3,000 per month
Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund: ?3,000 per month
Total SIP Investment: ?6,000 per month
Estimating Returns
Mutual fund returns are subject to market risks and cannot be predicted with absolute certainty. However, historical data and market trends can help in estimating potential returns. For simplicity, we will assume an annualized return rate.

Historical Performance and Return Expectations
ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund: Historical returns have ranged between 10-15% per annum.
Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund: Historical returns have typically ranged between 12-18% per annum.
Projected Corpus in 5 Years
Calculation Approach
Using a SIP calculator or a financial formula, we can estimate the future value of your SIP investments based on different return rates.

Expected Corpus
ICICI Prudential India Opportunities Fund: Assuming a 12% annual return, the corpus after 5 years could be around ?2.1 to ?2.2 lakhs.
Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund: Assuming a 15% annual return, the corpus after 5 years could be around ?2.3 to ?2.5 lakhs.
Combining both, your total expected corpus could range between ?4.4 to ?4.7 lakhs.

Investment Strategy and Tips
Diversification
While your current investments are well-chosen, consider further diversifying across different fund categories to balance risk and return.

Long-Term Horizon
Equity mutual funds perform better over the long term. If possible, extend your investment horizon beyond five years to maximize returns.

Regular Review
Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Adjust your SIP amounts or switch funds if necessary.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Your Fund Choices
Actively Managed Funds
Benefits
Professional Management: Expert fund managers make informed decisions.
Higher Return Potential: Potential for higher returns through active fund management.
Drawbacks
Higher Fees: Actively managed funds have higher expense ratios.
Market Risks: Returns are subject to market volatility.
Comparing Direct and Regular Plans
Direct Plans
Lower Expense Ratios: Lower fees lead to higher returns.
Direct Management: Suitable for informed investors who manage their investments actively.
Regular Plans
Advisor Support: Financial advisors help in managing investments.
Higher Costs: Higher expense ratios due to advisor commissions.
Recommendations for Future Investments
Consider Large-Cap Funds
Large-cap funds provide stability and steady growth, making them suitable for balancing risk in your portfolio.

Explore Balanced or Hybrid Funds
Balanced funds invest in both equity and debt instruments, offering moderate risk with stable returns.

Tax Saving Funds
Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) provide tax benefits under Section 80C and are a good investment for tax planning and growth.

Conclusion
Your disciplined approach to SIP investments in growth-oriented funds is commendable. By continuing your investments, diversifying your portfolio, and maintaining a long-term perspective, you can achieve your financial goals. Always remember to review your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

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Requesting you, to help me, regarding midcap 150 etf of mirae asset midcap 150 etf for longterm through SIP
Ans: Let us review the suitability of investing in a mid-cap 150 ETF for the long term via SIP.

Understanding ETFs and Their Characteristics
Passive Management: Midcap ETFs replicate an index like the Nifty Midcap 150.

Cost Efficiency: They offer lower expense ratios compared to actively managed funds.

No Active Decision Making: They do not try to outperform the market but track the index.

Volatility Concerns: Midcap indices are more volatile than large-cap indices.

Returns Depend on Index: The ETF's performance mirrors the performance of its benchmark.

Disadvantages of Investing in Midcap ETFs
Lack of Active Management
Mid-cap stocks are highly volatile.

Active fund managers can adjust portfolios to limit risks during downturns.

ETFs lack this flexibility, as they strictly follow the index composition.

Limited Flexibility in Rebalancing
Market conditions often demand sector rotation or stock-specific decisions.

Actively managed funds adapt to such conditions, but ETFs cannot.

Tracking Errors
ETFs may not perfectly replicate the index due to tracking errors.

This can affect returns, especially over the long term.

Why Actively Managed Funds May Be Better
Fund Manager Expertise
Skilled managers can outperform the index by selecting high-growth stocks.

They can mitigate risks in falling markets through tactical decisions.

Flexibility in Stock Selection
Active funds are not limited to a predefined basket of stocks.

Managers can select fundamentally strong stocks beyond the index.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have historically outperformed midcap indices over long periods.

This makes them a better choice for wealth creation in the mid-cap segment.

Recommendations for Long-Term Mid-Cap Investments
Diversify: Include actively managed mid-cap funds instead of relying solely on an ETF.

Professional Guidance: Invest in regular plans via a Certified Financial Planner.

Monitor Performance: Review fund performance every 6–12 months.

Manage Risk: Avoid overexposure to mid-cap investments due to their volatility.

Final Insights
While Mirae Asset Midcap 150 ETF is a low-cost option, it has limitations.

Active mid-cap funds can better navigate market volatility.

They provide the flexibility and expertise required for wealth creation.

For long-term SIPs, consider balanced exposure to actively managed funds. This ensures both growth and risk management over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Money
Dear sir, I am 50 years old and working in private sector MNC 1.5 Lakhs on hand. My job security is very less. I have two kids aged 18, 14 years old. My wife is housewife. I have 80L in Mutual funds and 20L in stocks, Bank deposits 40L. I am investing in SIP in below Mutual funds all direct growth around 57000 pm. CR Bule chip fund, MA Large and Midcap, HDFC smallcap each 5000 pm (15000) step up 2000 every 6months. Invesco Infra, JM Value fund, Nippon India Multicap, Small cap, Parag parekh Flexi cap, Quant Small cap, Mid cap each 6000 pm (42000), all these SIPs started recently from June 2024. Some Lumpsum in Axis smallcap 6L, Bandan core Equity 3L, CR Smallcap 8L, DSP smallcap 4L,HSBC Flexicap 3.5, HSBC Smallcap 3L, ICICI Pru Infra 3.5L, Value discovery 3L, Invesco Large & Midcap 2L, JM Flexicap 1L, Motilal Oswal Midcap 8L, SBI Bluechip 7L, Infrastructure 2L, Sundaram Smallcap 3L My expenses per month are 1.2 Lakh. I don't have loans/EMIs. Please advice me for my retirement life which need at least 1.5L per month, my kids education expenses, and also advice to my Portfolio. Thanks and regards, Yours sincerely, Purushotham Thati
Ans: Your current portfolio and investment habits show a good start. Let us evaluate your financial standing, address your goals, and provide suggestions for optimisation.

Assessment of Your Current Financial Position
Income and Expenses: You have a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh and expenses of Rs. 1.2 lakh. This leaves a surplus of Rs. 30,000 per month.

Investment Corpus: Your existing corpus includes Rs. 80 lakh in mutual funds, Rs. 20 lakh in stocks, and Rs. 40 lakh in bank deposits.

SIP Contributions: You are investing Rs. 57,000 monthly across multiple mutual funds.

Lump Sum Investments: You have allocated significant lump sums to small-cap, flexi-cap, and thematic funds.

Goals: Your goals include securing Rs. 1.5 lakh monthly for retirement and funding your children's education.

Planning for Retirement
Corpus Required
You aim for Rs. 1.5 lakh per month during retirement.

Factor in inflation to estimate future monthly expenses.

The current corpus and SIPs must grow consistently to meet this goal.

Recommendations
Maintain a balanced allocation between equity and debt for steady growth.

Avoid excessive concentration in small-cap and thematic funds, which are volatile.

Increase exposure to balanced and flexi-cap funds for stability.

Planning for Children’s Education
Current Needs
Your children are aged 18 and 14, which implies upcoming higher education expenses.

Plan for expenses within the next 4–8 years.

Recommendations
Create a dedicated education fund for both children.

Use debt-oriented hybrid funds or short-term debt funds for near-term goals.

Ensure part of your mutual fund corpus is earmarked for this purpose.

Portfolio Review and Suggestions
Strengths of the Portfolio
Disciplined SIP Investments: Investing Rs. 57,000 monthly shows financial discipline.

Diversification: Exposure to various categories like large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and thematic funds.

Areas for Improvement
Excessive Small-Cap Allocation: High exposure to small-cap funds increases volatility.

Thematic Fund Overlap: Thematic funds like infrastructure may lead to concentration risks.

Direct Fund Investments: Direct funds lack professional guidance and ongoing monitoring.

Portfolio Optimisation
Consolidate funds to reduce over-diversification and improve focus.

Shift some SIPs to balanced advantage or hybrid funds for stability.

Review and replace underperforming funds periodically.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner to benefit from professional advice.

Optimising Lumpsum Investments
Review the performance of your lump sum investments.

Redeploy underperforming small-cap and thematic funds into balanced funds.

Keep a portion of your bank deposits in liquid funds for emergencies.

Avoid high allocations to sectoral or cyclical funds due to their dependency on market conditions.

Tax Planning
Long-term capital gains on equity mutual funds above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Plan redemptions considering these rules to minimise tax liabilities.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Maintain at least 6–12 months of expenses in liquid funds or fixed deposits.

This ensures financial security given your low job security.

Allocate Rs. 15–20 lakh from your bank deposits for this purpose.

Recommendations for SIPs
Reduce exposure to small-cap and thematic funds.

Increase allocation to large-cap and multi-cap funds for stability.

Consider balanced advantage funds to manage market volatility.

Step-up SIPs only after assessing fund performance.

Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but optimisation is essential.

Prioritise stability and diversification in your portfolio.

Allocate funds separately for retirement and children’s education.

Maintain a robust emergency fund to handle uncertainties.

Seek professional advice to streamline and monitor your investments.

Consistent review and disciplined investing will help you achieve financial independence and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |807 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
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Retiremen advice I am 50 yrs old single with recurring and chronic health issues. I would like to retire and I have 2 crore in FD 1 crore in stock and mutual funds I also own a home and a flat both are free of debt. Please advice me to restructure my assets and have a peaceful retirement. My tax consultant told me I can get up to 3 lakhs per month with 3 cr invested in stocks and mutual funds How realistic is it possible and how to montage the downside risks associated with it. I had been a victim of Franklin Templeton debt funds during covid and I do not trust Mutual funds houses or its manages as before.
Ans: Hello;

It is impossible to get 3 L per month with 3 Cr corpus in mutual funds, unless you are ready to deplete the corpus completely over 10-12 years.

Since you were impacted with Franklin Templeton debt funds issue earlier, I recommend you to buy an immediate annuity from a life insurance company for a sum of 2.8 Cr.

You may chose annuity for life with return of purchase price to your nominee.

It may yield you a post tax monthly income of around 1.1 L+.

After fulfilling your regular expenses you may begin a monthly sip of 10-15 K in any equity fund.

The corpus that this investment will generate over 10-15 years may be used to top-up annuity and hence monthly payouts to account for rise in the inflation.

You may keep balance 20 L corpus in savings account as emergency fund.

Although the Franklin Templeton debt fund issue was difficult for the unitholders of those funds, the alacrity and surgical precision with which SEBI handled that issue and ensured all investors get their money back was commendable.

We cannot control human behaviour but we have extremely robust system of checks and balances in regulation of our MF industry to safeguard investor interests at all costs even if some negative event occurs.

Seek help from a mutual fund distributor or an investment advisor for help, if required.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1414 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I live in a joint family with my brother and parents. I’ve been having a hard time managing my relationship with my bhabhi (sister-in-law). We live in the same house, and things have been tense lately. I’ve always tried to be polite and respectful, but there are constant little misunderstandings between us, and it’s starting to affect my peace of mind. We both want to keep things cordial for the family’s sake, but it feels like there’s always some tension whenever we interact. The problem is, I tend to get defensive whenever she says something I don’t agree with, and I know it’s only making things worse. I’m also trying to stay calm in front of everyone, but it’s hard not to let these small issues build up in my head. I really don’t want to keep feeling frustrated, but I don’t know how to change my approach. I love my brother and I want to improve the atmosphere at home and make sure I’m not letting these things affect me so much. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Joint family systems are filled with adventure and these things that you have brought up are part of that adventure.
Take things as they come and make sure you train yourself not to react...is this possible? YES, it is!
Let's say your Bhabhi accuses you of something, maybe your first reaction is to get defensive and explain or argue. Instead, what if you trained yourself to say: Okay, she's again accusing me of something; let's see what is the new thing that she has invented and let me have fun by simply listening.

This will ensure that your part of adventure gets playful and it will also enable you to respond rather than react. Now, does this happen overnight? NO, it requires a lot of mind training but start somewhere to get to someplace different.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1414 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I Am 26(M). I had an arranged marriage, my wife had a pre-marital affair which continued even after our engagement and for 9 months of marriage. According to my wife, she met him once and he wanted to have sex but my wife didn't do it. (The used to chat on Instagram). I found out today after 2 years of marriage. And we just had a baby. My wife asked me to use Instagram after we got engaged, but I refused because I was afraid it would have a bad effect on her. I don't even use it cause I know what can go wrong. When I caught her red-handed and saw the man's chats, I took her phone. And then I had read a little chat, then my wife came to me and said that she had to call our maid. I gave her the phone and she not only spoke on the phone but also deleted the chats with the guy. My eyes were closed when she spoke to maid on the phone. Cause I was so tired. Then I asked my wife to talk to him in front of me because I wanted to teach him a lesson and find his fiancée and tell her the truth. I'm very loyal to my wife. And she was my world. I've never had a girlfriend. I am open minded and I had asked my wife before the engagement, after the engagement on the phone and even after the marriage that if she had a past, I will accept it. My wife messaged him and he asked her talk on video call. The guy also knows that we have just had a baby who is not even 1 month old. I turned on the screen recording of the video call and gave it to my wife. In that screen recording, my wife texted the guy and told him to talk carefully cause I was sitting in front of her and then deleted the message with option of 'delete for you' on Instagram. This is how my wife cheated on me 2 times even after being caught. She told me that she loved me later on. And she took great care of me. She brought me out of depression. She did everything and I also loved her with all my heart and did everything for her. Right now she is saying I forgive her and she wants to live with me like before. She apologized a ton as well. But I don't know what to do at the moment. After so many lies, I can't trust her easily. She has a habit of lying in small things as well. I want to live with her, she was my support, my mother is not even there. when I was 12 years old... Now what do I do? Please kindly guide me!
Ans: Dear LoneKnight,
Yes, you feel like your trust has been broken. Is it easy to build back that trust? Yes and No...Yes, if you wish to...No, if you don't wish to...
If you go back in time and play the same story about how you wife was on Instagram and how she 'cheated' on you, there is no way that you can put your marriage back together.
How are you open-minded when an Instagram account causes you to fear what will happen? I can understand that you are a person with no past girlfriends but people do come with a past. Now, your wife could have shared her past with you, but most women seem to not want to for fear of reaction from the men like you have now. I can see that all this has hurt you, but if you want this marriage to work, you are going to have to drop all the past baggage, yours and your wife's and start afresh. Which means taking things for what it is NOW at face value without doubting it.
Can you do that? My suggestion would be: make an honest attempt at it. But warn yourself against going back in to the past otherwise there will be more mud throwing and no solution in sight.
Start new, Start afresh...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 28, 2024 | Answered on Dec 28, 2024
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Thanks You Very Much Ma'am For Your Answer. The Reason For Not Using Instagram Was Cause I Didn't Wanted To Look At Any Other Women Instead Of Her. My Intentions Were Pure. Also I Didn't wanted a thing which can spark of cheating so there will be no fire. I am open minded I told her I will accept it. Problem is that affair continued even after engagement and marriage (till 9 months of marriage) But today's condition is that i think she has lost interest. We have tradition inwhich wife goes to their home and stay for 2-3 months. Her mother has been so influential from beginning so am telling her to comeback. She is not ready to comeback even when I am sick. I told her to come back for at least 4-5 days so we can talk. I am afraid she will mindwash her. And I can see that. I have given the best possible time yet she is complaining that I don't give time. When I told her to come back she overeated that she will never go there and that. She wasn't like this. She was with me in my everything. I am so confused. I have forgiven & forgotten everything about the past still... What do you suggest ma'am???
Ans: Dear LoneKnight,
I have already made my suggestions in the initial response. Start afresh and wipe the slate clean. Rebuilding trust cannot happen overnight, so give the marriage a fair GO.
What you have shared again are problems and when you stay in that Zone, you will only be able to focus on problems. When there is an intention to solve the issue, the prerequisite is to move away from all the things that have gone wrong/bad and all the things that you think will go wrong/bad. That's the only way to solve problems. So my suggestions are still the same.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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