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Is buying a 65 lakh house with a 60k salary and 5 lakh savings feasible?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6978 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Should I buy a 65 lakh house with 60k salary, 5 lakh savings

Ans: Buying a house is a significant financial decision, especially with your current situation: Rs 60,000 salary and Rs 5 lakh in savings. Let’s break this down from multiple perspectives before making a well-informed decision.

Assessing Affordability
A common rule in personal finance is that your home loan EMI should not exceed 30%-40% of your monthly take-home salary. With a salary of Rs 60,000, the maximum EMI you can comfortably afford is around Rs 18,000 to Rs 24,000 per month.

Loan Eligibility
Banks typically offer home loans based on 50-60% of your monthly income. In your case, this means the maximum loan you may be eligible for is around Rs 20-25 lakhs. But for a Rs 65 lakh house, you’ll need a loan much higher than that. Even if banks offer a higher amount, it would strain your monthly budget.

Down Payment
You have Rs 5 lakh in savings, but typically, banks require a 10%-20% down payment for home purchases. For a Rs 65 lakh home, you would need Rs 6.5 lakh to Rs 13 lakh just for the down payment. Your current savings fall short of this requirement, and spending your entire savings on a down payment will leave you with no buffer for emergencies.

Monthly Financial Strain
Assuming you take a larger loan, say Rs 60 lakh, your EMI could range from Rs 50,000 to Rs 60,000 per month, depending on the interest rate and tenure. With your current income, this would leave you with very little for other monthly expenses, bills, or even unforeseen costs.

Increased Financial Pressure
Paying such a high EMI will heavily strain your monthly budget, making it difficult to cover essential expenses like groceries, utilities, and savings. Any unexpected event like a medical emergency or job loss could lead to financial stress.
Consider Building Savings First
Increase Savings Before Buying
Before purchasing such a large property, it’s better to save more and aim for at least a 20% down payment. This will reduce your loan burden and make your EMIs more manageable.

Focus on Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is critical. Right now, your savings of Rs 5 lakh should be kept as an emergency reserve instead of spending it all on a down payment.

Renting vs. Buying
Renting Could Be a Better Option
Given your financial position, renting a home is more affordable and less financially draining at this stage. You can rent a similar house for a fraction of the cost and continue saving toward buying a house in the future when you are in a stronger financial position.
Finally
Buying a Rs 65 lakh house with your current income and savings would likely lead to financial strain. It’s better to wait, focus on increasing your savings, and possibly go for a smaller property or increase your income before committing to such a large financial decision.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6978 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am 57 yrs Male employed, residing in Bangalore and have total savings of 2.8 Crores (1.5 crores in MF (74% eq, 20% debt, 6% gold); 50 lakhs in PMS, 50 lakhs in PF & Gratuity and 30 lakhs in FD). Planning an early retirement next year. Current monthly expns of Rs.60000 including 20k house rent. My wife is insisting to buy a house which will cost around 75 lakhs but I want to continue in rental house. My Son would be joining college next year and expect around 25 lakhs total for his engineering degree and his marriage expenses (25 lakhs) after 10 years which would be funded from my savings. Is it advisable to buy a house which will reduce monthly expenses to Rs.40000 and continue with SWP to meet the monthly expenses for the rest of our life assuming 7% inflation. Thanks
Ans: At 57 years old, you have accumulated substantial savings of Rs. 2.8 crores, divided into various investments:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 1.5 crores (74% equity, 20% debt, 6% gold).

PMS (Portfolio Management Services): Rs. 50 lakhs.

Provident Fund & Gratuity: Rs. 50 lakhs.

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 30 lakhs.

Your current monthly expenses are Rs. 60,000, including Rs. 20,000 for house rent. You are considering early retirement next year and are evaluating whether to purchase a house for Rs. 75 lakhs, which could reduce your monthly expenses to Rs. 40,000.

Your son will be joining college next year, with an estimated education cost of Rs. 25 lakhs. Additionally, you anticipate needing Rs. 25 lakhs for his marriage in 10 years.

Evaluating the Decision to Buy a House
Buying a house is a significant financial decision. Let’s assess the pros and cons of purchasing a house versus continuing to rent.

Advantages of Buying a House
Reduced Monthly Expenses: Purchasing a house could reduce your monthly expenses from Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 40,000. This will give you more disposable income and lower your financial stress in retirement.

Asset Appreciation: Over the long term, the value of the house may appreciate, providing you with a valuable asset.

Emotional Security: Owning a home can provide emotional security and stability, which might align with your wife's desires for a permanent residence.

Disadvantages of Buying a House
Liquidity Concerns: Buying a house will significantly reduce your liquid savings. This could affect your ability to handle unforeseen expenses or investment opportunities.

Investment Opportunity Cost: By using Rs. 75 lakhs to buy a house, you may miss out on potential higher returns from other investments, such as mutual funds or PMS.

Maintenance Costs: Owning a house comes with maintenance costs, property taxes, and other expenses that could offset the savings on rent.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Your current investment portfolio is well-diversified, which is essential for long-term financial stability.

Mutual Funds: Your allocation of 74% in equity, 20% in debt, and 6% in gold is balanced. Equity investments can provide growth, while debt and gold offer stability.

PMS: PMS is a good option for those looking for active management. However, the returns can be volatile. It's advisable to regularly review its performance.

Provident Fund & Gratuity: These are safe investments providing regular income post-retirement. They also offer tax benefits.

Fixed Deposits: While FDs are safe, the returns are relatively low, especially after adjusting for inflation.

Planning for Your Son’s Education and Marriage
Your son’s education and marriage expenses are significant financial goals. Here's how you can plan for them:

Education Fund: Set aside Rs. 25 lakhs specifically for your son’s education. You can use a combination of your provident fund, gratuity, and part of your mutual fund investments to meet this goal.

Marriage Fund: You have 10 years to accumulate Rs. 25 lakhs for his marriage. Consider using your fixed deposits and the returns from your mutual fund investments to fund this expense. A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual funds can provide a steady flow of funds when needed.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Retirement
An SWP from your mutual funds can provide you with a regular income during retirement. This option allows you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, while the remaining amount continues to grow.

Adjusting for Inflation: With inflation assumed at 7%, your expenses will increase over time. It’s essential to invest in a mix of equity and debt to ensure your corpus grows while providing regular income.

Portfolio Rebalancing: As you approach retirement, gradually shift a portion of your equity investments into debt to reduce risk. This will protect your corpus while ensuring a steady income.

Final Insights
Balancing the decision between buying a house and continuing to rent depends on your comfort with liquidity, potential investment returns, and emotional factors.

Consider Renting: Renting might be a better option if you prefer maintaining liquidity and investing your money in higher-return instruments. This aligns with your current investment strategy and allows you to focus on generating a regular income through SWP.

Allocate Funds Wisely: Set aside specific amounts for your son’s education and marriage. Use your current investments to meet these goals without disrupting your retirement plan.

Review and Rebalance: Regularly review your investment portfolio and rebalance it to align with your retirement goals. Focus on maintaining a mix of growth (equity) and stability (debt).

Plan for Inflation: Ensure your retirement corpus is protected against inflation. Adjust your SWP to account for rising expenses over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6978 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
Money
Asked on - Jun 22, 2024 Hello Sir, I am 57 yrs Male employed, residing in Bangalore and have total savings of 2.8 Crores (1.5 crores in MF (74% eq, 20% debt, 6% gold); 50 lakhs in PMS, 50 lakhs in PF & Gratuity and 30 lakhs in FD). Planning an early retirement next year. Current monthly expns of Rs.60000 including 20k house rent. My wife is insisting to buy a house which will cost around 75 lakhs but I want to continue in rental house. My Son would be joining college next year and expect around 25 lakhs total for his engineering degree and his marriage expenses (25 lakhs) after 10 years which would be funded from my savings. Is it advisable to buy a house which will reduce monthly expenses to Rs.40000 and continue with SWP to meet the monthly expenses for the rest of our life assuming 7% inflation. Thanks
Ans: Your current financial position is impressive. You have Rs. 2.8 crores in savings. This includes Rs. 1.5 crores in mutual funds (MFs), Rs. 50 lakhs in portfolio management services (PMS), Rs. 50 lakhs in provident fund (PF) and gratuity, and Rs. 30 lakhs in fixed deposits (FDs). You plan to retire early next year, which is a significant life decision.

Your monthly expenses are Rs. 60,000, including Rs. 20,000 for house rent. Your wife wants to buy a house costing around Rs. 75 lakhs, but you prefer to stay in a rental house. Your son will be starting college next year, and you expect his engineering degree to cost around Rs. 25 lakhs. You are also planning for his marriage, estimating another Rs. 25 lakhs in 10 years.

Evaluating the Decision to Buy a House
Pros of Buying a House
Reduced Monthly Expenses: Owning a house will reduce your monthly expenses from Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 40,000. This is a significant saving.

Stability and Security: Having your own house provides stability and a sense of security, especially in retirement.

No Rent Hike: You won't have to worry about rent increases every few years.

Cons of Buying a House
Large Upfront Cost: Buying a house for Rs. 75 lakhs will require a substantial chunk of your savings.

Maintenance Costs: Owning a house comes with maintenance costs, property tax, and other expenses.

Less Liquidity: A house is not a liquid asset. In case of emergencies, it may not be easy to sell quickly.

Assessing Your Preferences
While buying a house has its advantages, staying in a rental house provides flexibility. It allows you to keep your investments diversified and liquid. This can be crucial in managing unexpected expenses in retirement.

Planning for Your Son's Education and Marriage
Education Expenses
You have estimated Rs. 25 lakhs for your son's engineering degree. This is a significant amount but manageable with your current savings. Ensuring these funds are in relatively safe and easily accessible investments is crucial.

Marriage Expenses
You plan to set aside Rs. 25 lakhs for your son's marriage in 10 years. This goal is long-term, allowing you to invest in a mix of equity and debt to grow this corpus.

Managing Retirement Expenses
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
You plan to use a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) to meet monthly expenses. This is a wise strategy. It allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, ensuring a steady cash flow while keeping your investments growing.

Inflation Consideration
Assuming a 7% inflation rate, your current monthly expenses of Rs. 60,000 will increase over time. Ensuring your investments grow at a rate that outpaces inflation is crucial.

Evaluating Your Investment Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Your Rs. 1.5 crores in MFs are diversified (74% equity, 20% debt, 6% gold). This is a balanced approach, providing growth potential and stability. However, regularly reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio is essential.

Portfolio Management Services (PMS)
Your Rs. 50 lakhs in PMS are managed by professionals. This is a good strategy, but monitoring performance and fees is crucial to ensure they align with your financial goals.

Provident Fund and Gratuity
The Rs. 50 lakhs in PF and gratuity are safe, long-term investments. These provide a steady and secure return, which is beneficial in retirement.

Fixed Deposits
Your Rs. 30 lakhs in FDs provide liquidity and safety. However, returns on FDs are usually lower. Balancing between safety and growth is crucial.

Assessing the Need for Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized advice tailored to your financial situation. They can help you optimize your investment strategy, ensuring it aligns with your retirement goals and risk tolerance.

Benefits of Active Management
Actively managed funds, overseen by a CFP, can outperform index funds. They offer flexibility to adjust investments based on market conditions, potentially providing better returns.

Addressing Direct and Regular Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds require active management and monitoring, which can be time-consuming. Without professional guidance, you may miss opportunities or fail to optimize your portfolio.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Investing through a CFP provides expert management and regular reviews. This ensures your investments are aligned with your financial goals, offering peace of mind.

Planning for Future Uncertainties
Health Care Costs
Healthcare costs can be a significant expense in retirement. Ensuring you have adequate health insurance and a contingency fund is essential.

Emergency Fund
Maintaining an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses is crucial. This should be in a liquid and easily accessible form, like a savings account or FD.

Estate Planning
Proper estate planning ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes. This includes making a will and considering potential tax implications.

Final Insights
Your financial situation is strong, providing a solid foundation for early retirement. Balancing your wife's desire to buy a house with your preference to stay in a rental is crucial. Consider both financial and emotional aspects in this decision.

Ensuring you have adequate funds for your son's education and marriage is essential. A diversified investment strategy, guided by a CFP, will help you achieve these goals while managing retirement expenses.

Regular reviews and adjustments to your investment portfolio are crucial to keep pace with inflation and changing market conditions. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and peace of mind.

Balancing safety and growth, maintaining liquidity, and planning for future uncertainties will help you enjoy a comfortable and secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6978 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 23, 2024

Money
I am 64 Years of age still earning rs 18 LPA living on rent @ 21000pm, should i go to purchase a house of 60 lacs my saving may be 80 Lacs I dont have any further liability me and my wife is there only , Two daughters married. Please advise
Ans: You are 64 years old and still earning Rs. 18 lakhs annually. Living on rent for Rs. 21,000 per month seems manageable. You have savings of Rs. 80 lakhs and no other liabilities. With your two daughters married, you and your wife are financially secure in terms of dependents.

You are considering purchasing a house worth Rs. 60 lakhs. This is a significant decision and requires careful evaluation.

Assessing the Need for Purchasing a House
Renting vs. Owning
You are currently paying Rs. 21,000 monthly in rent, which equals Rs. 2.52 lakhs annually. This is a reasonable amount compared to your income of Rs. 18 lakhs per year. Owning a house, however, will bring additional costs such as property tax, maintenance, and repairs. Let's consider the benefits and drawbacks of buying a house at this stage.

Advantages of Renting:
Flexibility to move if needed.
Lower ongoing financial commitment.
Savings can continue to grow and be invested elsewhere.
Advantages of Owning:
Stability and security of owning your home.
No monthly rent payments.
Potential long-term capital appreciation.
Buying a house would use up a large portion of your savings. It might limit your liquidity and leave you with less cash for emergencies or future needs. At your age, liquidity is crucial for managing unforeseen expenses, especially healthcare-related ones.

Liquidity and Emergency Planning
You and your wife need a financial cushion for healthcare and daily living expenses. Though your earnings are good, retirement could be on the horizon. The Rs. 80 lakhs you have saved should be allocated wisely to provide for your post-retirement years.

Buying a house will deplete Rs. 60 lakhs, leaving only Rs. 20 lakhs for other needs. This may not be sufficient for future healthcare, emergencies, or lifestyle expenses.

Investment Potential
House as an Investment Option
While buying a house may seem like a good investment, it is a less liquid asset. If you need cash in the future, selling property may take time. Property prices also fluctuate based on market conditions. In contrast, keeping your savings liquid in mutual funds, fixed deposits, or other financial instruments can offer flexibility and consistent growth.

A Certified Financial Planner would typically advise against locking up too much of your savings in real estate, especially at this age. It may be better to focus on investments that offer liquidity, safety, and steady returns.

Health Care and Long-Term Planning
As you and your wife age, healthcare costs will likely rise. Keeping a significant portion of your Rs. 80 lakh savings in easily accessible and growth-oriented investments is essential. Healthcare emergencies or long-term care may arise, and selling a house during such times might not be feasible.

Consider enhancing your health insurance coverage if needed. Also, set aside funds in safe, liquid investments that can be accessed easily during emergencies.

Evaluating Your Current Income and Expenses
You are earning Rs. 18 lakhs annually, which gives you good financial stability. Your current rent of Rs. 21,000 per month is reasonable compared to your income. This leaves you with plenty of room for savings and investments.

Buying a house worth Rs. 60 lakhs may disrupt this balance. You will not only lose liquidity but also face additional expenses like property tax, maintenance, and repairs. Renting, on the other hand, provides flexibility without burdening your finances.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds over Real Estate
If you are considering investing your Rs. 80 lakhs, actively managed mutual funds can provide better returns and more flexibility than real estate. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, as professional fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions.

In contrast, real estate is an illiquid investment and can take time to sell if needed. Moreover, real estate prices can stagnate or even decline in certain areas, making it a less attractive investment compared to mutual funds that offer both growth and liquidity.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Some people prefer index funds for their low fees, but they are not the best option for everyone. Index funds merely replicate the market performance and may not provide significant returns over inflation in the long run. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can potentially beat the market and give higher returns, making them more suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Funds
You may have considered direct mutual funds because of lower expense ratios. However, these funds do not come with expert advice, which is crucial, especially when managing significant retirement savings.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) provides access to personalized guidance. A CFP will help you balance your portfolio based on your goals, risk appetite, and time horizon. This can make a big difference in managing your wealth efficiently.

Maintaining Financial Independence
Given your age and the absence of any liabilities, it is vital to maintain your financial independence. Your income is good, but in the coming years, you may want to transition into retirement. Financial independence means having enough liquid assets to cover living expenses, healthcare, and unforeseen emergencies without worrying about market fluctuations.

Locking a large portion of your savings in real estate could compromise your financial independence. In contrast, keeping your savings in a diversified portfolio of liquid investments ensures that you can continue to manage your expenses and live comfortably.

Final Insights
Here are some important points for your situation:

Liquidity: Retain liquidity to cover emergencies, healthcare, and lifestyle expenses.

Renting: Renting at Rs. 21,000 per month is affordable and gives flexibility.

Owning a House: Buying a house may limit your liquidity and increase your financial burden.

Investments: Actively managed mutual funds offer better growth and liquidity than real estate.

Healthcare: Consider enhancing health insurance and setting aside emergency funds.

Long-Term Financial Independence: Focus on investments that provide liquidity and steady growth for retirement.

At this stage of life, maintaining financial flexibility and independence should be the priority. Locking your savings into real estate may not be the best decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |391 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am in a interfaith relationship since 6+ years and I have the sweetest and most well mannered and caring guy as my boyfriend. I was born as a Hindu and he’s been adopted in a Muslim family. Though we both are agnostic and religion barely made any difference or issues in between us. My family knows about us since the last 2 years and his family has accepted us and is willing to talk to my family. Whereas, my father was initially understanding and willing to talk but now he has turned totally against this relationship after my mother,brother and other relatives have influenced them. They have asked me to choose between them and my love. I told them that by doing this they’ve left me no choice but to die, in which they taunted me asking in which ritual my body will be cremated-the hindu way or the Muslim. I am mentally and emotionally broken and cant seem to think straight. It feels like i am being dragged into a blackhole and cant really come out of it. What should i do?
Ans: give yourself permission to focus on your mental and emotional well-being. It can be incredibly helpful to talk to a counselor or therapist who can give you a safe space to work through the overwhelming emotions you’re feeling. These conversations could give you clarity and strength to make decisions that prioritize your happiness and peace.

At some point, it may be worth approaching your family again, but with a different mindset—one that isn’t trying to change their beliefs but instead focuses on helping them see your happiness as a priority. You could try to appeal to them on the basis of your well-being, asking them to look beyond religious labels to see the person who loves and cares for you. They may need time, and they may resist, but sometimes families gradually come to understand that happiness in a relationship matters more than anything else.

In the meantime, lean on your boyfriend for support, and let him know how much you’re struggling. If he’s as caring and understanding as you’ve described, he’ll stand by you through this and will want to help you feel less alone. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a choice you feel aligns with your own sense of self and future. The love you feel is real, and though this journey is incredibly hard, there is a path forward—even if it doesn’t feel clear right now.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |391 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024
Relationship
This will be kind of a long story... I've been in a relationship for over 4 years now and I really love spending time with my girlfriend and I never cheated on her...like she is the one, but as time goes I seem to have a different opinion of what I want in life...for she doesn't want kids and I do and sometimes that's a reason for discussion but not over-escalating it just ends there...lately we don't even have sex like about 2 months now...she fell ill for some time and now she is ok we barely get to go out. So I started this new job on some kind of high position within the company like a month ago and we had an after-office time, there was this girl there that is in another department...didn't really called my attention in there, we sat in a table and started talking and drinking, in one of the things we talked I spoke about my current relationship (everyone did) and even metioned the I want kids problem. The party was over finished in that place and we hit a club. In there of course booze was up and this girl just started dancing all sexy on me and I was like oookay then...well of course alcohol gets the best or worst of us so I started dancing with her and In one of those moments we were sooo close and I yes...I tried to kiss her...she just laughed and avoided in the first time but then...we were kissing and touching just too passionaly that having the clothes on was really annoying ..well I was really drunk, problem for me was about our other colleagues...will they report this...will she tell? (this can really go against me as I am new in the company) will others tell (because everyone saw us) I didn't wrote her later because I was too damn embarrassed, in the next week I was like so nervous at the job and when we cross paths we just say hi in a normal way and this just brings thoughts to my head of guilt and embarrassement but NOT REGRETTING thoughts... this no regret thing is driving me crazy...I see her and start looking at her in a different way, like I pay attention to the way she dress, the way she has her hair, she walks and I said to myself...WTF IS HAPPENING am I falling gor this girl? So I wrote her and wanted to clear up some things...if she told someone (but it was more line an excuse just to talk to her about what happened and try to know what she felt), but she justs...DOESN'T HAVE IDEA WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT...really? And as you can imagine we didn't get to talk about this and honestly in my head I get lot of mixed ideas about this reaction of her...like the things I said before anything happened...like my relationship thing or she is just applying some sort of strategy or It was just one night rush and FULL of regrets now... but c'mon we see each other everyday. I KNOW I did bad for cheating on my girlfriend but the emotion there is absolutely gone and the thing with this girl...well when we talked in the bar I spoke of wanting to have kids and everything maybe she also wants it? Did she took all the first interaction and I was really being attractive there? Well what should I do? I am not writting her anymore to push her to talk...her reaction of ignoring what happened gives me the right sign to stop it there I want her really bad and I'm about to give up my relationship in these days...
Ans: Given how strong the chemistry was with this colleague, it’s understandable that her recent dismissal of the incident feels confusing. There’s a chance that for her, it was an impulsive, one-time event—something she might not want to pursue further for her own reasons. Her behavior could be a signal that, despite the attraction, she wants to keep things professional, possibly feeling it would complicate both of your lives to acknowledge what happened. This can feel conflicting, especially since the experience brought out emotions you might not have felt in a while.

The real question here is what these events are showing you about your current relationship. The excitement and interest you felt for someone new suggest that you may be craving a deeper connection or more alignment with a partner on important life issues. Before you make any big decisions, I’d recommend having an open, honest conversation with your girlfriend about where you both see yourselves in the future. Discuss how each of you views things like children, intimacy, and growth in the relationship. Sharing your thoughts might bring out clarity on whether you’re both on the same path or if it’s time to consider parting ways.

Remember, whatever happens with this colleague, there’s value in addressing the core issues in your relationship first. Taking time to be clear about what you want in a partnership—whether it’s more shared goals, connection, or family—can help you find fulfillment in the long run, whether it’s with your current partner or someone new.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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