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44, Wife 39, 2 Kids - Should I Buy Property Now or Wait?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Pankaj Question by Pankaj on Oct 22, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir, My age 44, Wife 39 (housewife), Two Kids age 10 and 6.5 (both school going). Is it advisable to buy a property in this post-covid era where property rates are increased multi fold without any stability. Or to wait for another 1-2 years so as to market gets stabilize. This seems property rates are increased intentionly by the builders/dealers to earn the loses they faced during covid era. Pl suggest. (past situation, lost around 25 L in a property and currently living on rent)

Ans: Evaluating Current Property Market Conditions
Post-Covid Real Estate Price Surge

Property prices have risen significantly post-Covid, creating concerns around overpricing. This increase often reflects builders covering pandemic-related losses rather than stable market growth.

Current conditions may not present the best value, as prices could stabilise when demand and supply balance out.

Impact of Price Volatility
Entering an inflated market increases the risk of depreciation if prices correct in the near term.

For stability, consider waiting 1-2 years. This may allow time for prices to settle and provide a clearer picture.

Financial Security and Prior Loss in Property
Having experienced a significant loss of Rs 25 lakh in property before, it’s wise to avoid unnecessary risk.

Instead of real estate, focusing on diversified financial investments can provide better returns and liquidity.

Benefits of a Wait-and-Watch Strategy
Waiting for 1-2 years can allow the market to stabilise and offer better opportunities.

Renting provides flexibility without the financial lock-in, while potential savings can be allocated to investments with growth prospects.

Investment Alternatives to Consider
Diversified Mutual Funds

Actively managed mutual funds offer growth, transparency, and liquidity. They are managed by skilled professionals and have performed well for long-term wealth building.

Unlike direct mutual funds, investing through a Certified Financial Planner brings expert oversight, helping you optimise your portfolio without added effort.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIP)

SIPs allow you to grow capital gradually, adjusting your investment amount over time for flexibility.

Mutual funds, especially SIPs in equity, benefit from the power of compounding, creating long-term wealth even during volatile market conditions.

Children’s Education and Future Needs

Since your children are in school, setting up dedicated funds for their future education can offer peace of mind.

Diversified investment plans focused on education will allow gradual wealth accumulation tailored to their academic needs.

Taxation Considerations
Mutual Fund Capital Gains

Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh on equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains on equity are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, LTCG and STCG align with your tax slab, making them transparent.

Final Insights
Current property rates may not offer long-term value; waiting for stability seems sensible.

Building wealth with diversified investments, SIPs, and planning for children’s education provides financial security without risking depreciation.

Use mutual funds managed by experts, ensuring your financial goals are on track with professional guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir, I'm a 32 y/o married male. Our combined income per month is 2.2 lacs (in-hand). We have savings in equity and mf of 24 Lacs, and are currently considering purchasing a house. With the current property rates in and around Mumbai, the apartments we have seen cost around 1.3 to 1.5 cr. With annual fixed expenses (insurance, and toher obligations) of around 2.5 Lacs, and living expenses of 45-50 thousand per month, is buying a house right now the correct decision? If yes, please help with a few pointers on how we need to effectively manage the obligations it will bring on us.
Ans: Congratulations on your steady combined income and substantial savings in equity and mutual funds. Considering a home purchase is a significant decision, especially in a high-value market like Mumbai. This guide will help you evaluate the decision and manage the associated financial obligations effectively.

Understanding Your Financial Position

Your monthly combined income of Rs 2.2 lakhs is commendable. You have annual fixed expenses of Rs 2.5 lakhs and monthly living expenses of Rs 45-50 thousand. Your current savings in equity and mutual funds amount to Rs 24 lakhs. These factors provide a strong foundation for assessing your ability to buy a house.

Evaluating the Home Purchase Decision

Buying a house is both an emotional and financial decision. Given the property rates in Mumbai, you are looking at homes costing between Rs 1.3 to 1.5 crores. This is a substantial investment that will impact your financial situation for years. Let's break down the key considerations.

Down Payment and Loan Amount

Typically, you will need to make a down payment of at least 20% of the property value. For a house costing Rs 1.3 to 1.5 crores, this amounts to Rs 26 to 30 lakhs. Your current savings can comfortably cover this down payment, but it will significantly reduce your liquid assets. The remaining amount, Rs 1.04 to 1.2 crores, will need to be financed through a home loan.

Home Loan Considerations

Home loans come with long-term financial commitments. With interest rates and the loan tenure (usually 20-25 years), the EMI (Equated Monthly Installment) can be a significant portion of your monthly income. It is crucial to ensure that your EMI does not exceed 40% of your monthly income to maintain financial stability.

Impact on Monthly Budget

Assuming an EMI of around Rs 80,000 to Rs 1 lakh, you will need to adjust your monthly budget. With your living expenses of Rs 45-50 thousand and fixed annual expenses, managing the EMI within your current income level will require careful planning.

Emergency Fund and Savings

Maintaining an emergency fund is essential, especially after committing to a significant financial obligation like a home loan. Ensure you have at least six months' worth of expenses in an easily accessible savings account or liquid fund. Additionally, continue to save and invest in mutual funds to ensure long-term financial growth and security.

Tax Benefits of Home Loans

Home loans come with tax benefits under sections 80C and 24(b) of the Income Tax Act. The principal repayment qualifies for deduction up to Rs 1.5 lakhs, while the interest payment is eligible for deduction up to Rs 2 lakhs annually. These benefits can provide some relief in managing the overall financial burden.

Managing the Obligations

Budgeting and Expense Management: Create a detailed budget that includes your EMI, living expenses, fixed obligations, and emergency fund contributions. Track your expenses regularly to ensure you stay within your budget.

Prioritizing Investments: While focusing on the home loan, continue to invest in mutual funds for long-term growth. Diversify your portfolio across different types of funds to optimize returns and manage risk.

Professional Guidance: Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to ensure your financial plan aligns with your long-term goals. A CFP can provide personalized advice on managing your investments, loan repayment, and overall financial health.

Insurance Cover: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage. This protects your family and financial interests in case of unforeseen events. Consider term insurance for life cover and a comprehensive health insurance policy.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to at least six months' expenses. This provides a financial cushion in case of job loss, medical emergencies, or other unexpected events.

Regular Reviews: Periodically review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed. Regular reviews with your CFP can help you stay on track with your goals and adapt to any changes in your financial situation.

Long-Term Financial Planning

Retirement Planning: Continue to contribute towards your retirement corpus through systematic investment plans (SIPs) in mutual funds. A well-planned retirement strategy ensures financial independence in your later years.

Children’s Education: If you have or plan to have children, start investing early for their education. Consider dedicated education funds or SIPs in diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Estate Planning: Ensure you have a clear estate plan in place. Create a will to specify how your assets should be distributed, and consider setting up trusts if necessary. Proper estate planning can prevent legal disputes and ensure a smooth transfer of assets to your heirs.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

While direct funds have lower expense ratios, they lack the professional guidance provided by regular funds. Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials ensures you receive expert advice. This professional support can help you make informed decisions, align your investments with your financial goals, and navigate market complexities.

Disadvantages of Index Funds

Index funds passively track market indices, offering average market returns. They don't capitalize on market inefficiencies or opportunities that actively managed funds can exploit. For someone aiming for higher returns, especially with long-term goals, actively managed funds can provide better growth potential.

Benefits of Regular Funds

Regular funds, accessed through an MFD with CFP credentials, provide the advantage of expert guidance. These professionals can help you navigate complex investment decisions, rebalance your portfolio, and adapt your strategy as your financial situation evolves. The value of personalized advice often outweighs the marginally higher expense ratios.

Balancing Short-Term and Long-Term Goals

While purchasing a house is a significant short-term goal, it’s essential to balance it with your long-term financial goals. Continue to invest for your future, ensuring that your retirement, children’s education, and other long-term objectives remain on track.

Emotional and Practical Considerations

Buying a house is not just a financial decision but an emotional one too. Consider your long-term plans, job stability, and lifestyle preferences. Owning a home provides stability and a sense of ownership but comes with maintenance responsibilities and financial obligations.

Final Insights

Buying a house in Mumbai is a major financial commitment that requires careful planning and disciplined execution. Assess your financial readiness, consider the impact on your monthly budget, and ensure you have a robust emergency fund. Leverage the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner to create a comprehensive financial plan that balances your short-term and long-term goals. By making informed decisions and managing your finances prudently, you can achieve your dream of homeownership while maintaining financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7337 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 23, 2024

Money
I am 64 Years of age still earning rs 18 LPA living on rent @ 21000pm, should i go to purchase a house of 60 lacs my saving may be 80 Lacs I dont have any further liability me and my wife is there only , Two daughters married. Please advise
Ans: You are 64 years old and still earning Rs. 18 lakhs annually. Living on rent for Rs. 21,000 per month seems manageable. You have savings of Rs. 80 lakhs and no other liabilities. With your two daughters married, you and your wife are financially secure in terms of dependents.

You are considering purchasing a house worth Rs. 60 lakhs. This is a significant decision and requires careful evaluation.

Assessing the Need for Purchasing a House
Renting vs. Owning
You are currently paying Rs. 21,000 monthly in rent, which equals Rs. 2.52 lakhs annually. This is a reasonable amount compared to your income of Rs. 18 lakhs per year. Owning a house, however, will bring additional costs such as property tax, maintenance, and repairs. Let's consider the benefits and drawbacks of buying a house at this stage.

Advantages of Renting:
Flexibility to move if needed.
Lower ongoing financial commitment.
Savings can continue to grow and be invested elsewhere.
Advantages of Owning:
Stability and security of owning your home.
No monthly rent payments.
Potential long-term capital appreciation.
Buying a house would use up a large portion of your savings. It might limit your liquidity and leave you with less cash for emergencies or future needs. At your age, liquidity is crucial for managing unforeseen expenses, especially healthcare-related ones.

Liquidity and Emergency Planning
You and your wife need a financial cushion for healthcare and daily living expenses. Though your earnings are good, retirement could be on the horizon. The Rs. 80 lakhs you have saved should be allocated wisely to provide for your post-retirement years.

Buying a house will deplete Rs. 60 lakhs, leaving only Rs. 20 lakhs for other needs. This may not be sufficient for future healthcare, emergencies, or lifestyle expenses.

Investment Potential
House as an Investment Option
While buying a house may seem like a good investment, it is a less liquid asset. If you need cash in the future, selling property may take time. Property prices also fluctuate based on market conditions. In contrast, keeping your savings liquid in mutual funds, fixed deposits, or other financial instruments can offer flexibility and consistent growth.

A Certified Financial Planner would typically advise against locking up too much of your savings in real estate, especially at this age. It may be better to focus on investments that offer liquidity, safety, and steady returns.

Health Care and Long-Term Planning
As you and your wife age, healthcare costs will likely rise. Keeping a significant portion of your Rs. 80 lakh savings in easily accessible and growth-oriented investments is essential. Healthcare emergencies or long-term care may arise, and selling a house during such times might not be feasible.

Consider enhancing your health insurance coverage if needed. Also, set aside funds in safe, liquid investments that can be accessed easily during emergencies.

Evaluating Your Current Income and Expenses
You are earning Rs. 18 lakhs annually, which gives you good financial stability. Your current rent of Rs. 21,000 per month is reasonable compared to your income. This leaves you with plenty of room for savings and investments.

Buying a house worth Rs. 60 lakhs may disrupt this balance. You will not only lose liquidity but also face additional expenses like property tax, maintenance, and repairs. Renting, on the other hand, provides flexibility without burdening your finances.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds over Real Estate
If you are considering investing your Rs. 80 lakhs, actively managed mutual funds can provide better returns and more flexibility than real estate. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, as professional fund managers can adjust the portfolio based on market conditions.

In contrast, real estate is an illiquid investment and can take time to sell if needed. Moreover, real estate prices can stagnate or even decline in certain areas, making it a less attractive investment compared to mutual funds that offer both growth and liquidity.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Some people prefer index funds for their low fees, but they are not the best option for everyone. Index funds merely replicate the market performance and may not provide significant returns over inflation in the long run. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can potentially beat the market and give higher returns, making them more suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Funds
You may have considered direct mutual funds because of lower expense ratios. However, these funds do not come with expert advice, which is crucial, especially when managing significant retirement savings.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) provides access to personalized guidance. A CFP will help you balance your portfolio based on your goals, risk appetite, and time horizon. This can make a big difference in managing your wealth efficiently.

Maintaining Financial Independence
Given your age and the absence of any liabilities, it is vital to maintain your financial independence. Your income is good, but in the coming years, you may want to transition into retirement. Financial independence means having enough liquid assets to cover living expenses, healthcare, and unforeseen emergencies without worrying about market fluctuations.

Locking a large portion of your savings in real estate could compromise your financial independence. In contrast, keeping your savings in a diversified portfolio of liquid investments ensures that you can continue to manage your expenses and live comfortably.

Final Insights
Here are some important points for your situation:

Liquidity: Retain liquidity to cover emergencies, healthcare, and lifestyle expenses.

Renting: Renting at Rs. 21,000 per month is affordable and gives flexibility.

Owning a House: Buying a house may limit your liquidity and increase your financial burden.

Investments: Actively managed mutual funds offer better growth and liquidity than real estate.

Healthcare: Consider enhancing health insurance and setting aside emergency funds.

Long-Term Financial Independence: Focus on investments that provide liquidity and steady growth for retirement.

At this stage of life, maintaining financial flexibility and independence should be the priority. Locking your savings into real estate may not be the best decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |37 Answers  |Ask -

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I HAVE CONSTIPACATION PROBLEM WICH AASAN RELIVE FROM THIS PROBLEM
Ans: Constipation can be uncomfortable, but yoga is an excellent way to stimulate digestion and relieve this issue. Here are some simple asanas you can try regularly to help improve bowel movements:

1. Pavanamuktasana (Wind-Relieving Pose)
Lie on your back and bring one knee to your chest, holding it with your hands.
Press your knee gently into your abdomen while keeping the other leg straight.
Switch legs and repeat, or do both knees together.
This pose massages your abdominal organs and promotes digestion.
2. Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose)
Begin on all fours.
As you inhale, arch your back (Cow Pose) and look up.
As you exhale, round your back (Cat Pose) and tuck your chin to your chest.
Repeat slowly for 8-10 breaths to massage your digestive organs and improve gut motility.
3. Malasana (Garland Pose)
Squat down with your feet wide apart and palms together at your chest.
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Sit with your legs straight and bend forward from your hips, reaching for your toes.
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Practice these poses daily, but avoid forcing your body into any position.
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R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
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It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

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