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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Tapan Question by Tapan on Apr 08, 2023Hindi
Money

Sir, i am 62 yrs . i am investing 65,500/ per month in Regular Mutual Fund SIP since last two years : 1.ICICI Blue Chip Fund : 12000/-, 2. Canara Robeco Blue Chip Fund: 20000/-, 3. Mirae Asset Large Cap: 2000/-, 3. Quant Active Fund : 10000/-, 4, HDFC Flexi Cap: 5000/-, 5. PGIM Flexi Cap : 3000/- , 6. Canara Robeco Emerging Equities: 5000/-, 7. Mirae Asset Emerging Blue Chip: 2500/- 8. Axis Growth Opportunities: 3000/- and 9. Kotak Small Cap: 3000/-. I have also lump sum investment of Rs. 17,57,000/- since last 2 yrs. : Rs. 75,000 Canara Robeco Small Cap. Rs. 390000/- HDFC Balanced Advantage, Rs. 4,00,000/- ICICI Equity & Debt Fund, Rs.235000/- PGIM Balanced Advantage, Rs. 190000/- PGIM Midcap Opportunities Fund, Rs. 150000/- Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund, Rs. 125000/- Quant Active Fund, Rs. 1,62,000/- SBI Flexi Cap Fund and Rs. 30000/- UTI Flexi Cap Fund. Please let me whether : 1. With my above investment 2 Crore corpus can be achieved in next 5 yrs. 2. My investment in above funds are required to be continued or not. I am looking forward your valuable advice. With warm regards, Tapan

Ans: Your commitment to investing is commendable. With a strategic approach, we can assess your portfolio and determine the feasibility of achieving a Rs. 2 crore corpus in the next five years. Let’s delve into the analysis and provide recommendations.

Evaluating Your SIP Investments
Your current monthly SIP investment of Rs. 65,500 is diversified across various funds, which is a positive approach. Here’s a brief evaluation:

ICICI Blue Chip Fund (Rs. 12,000)
Blue-chip funds are stable and provide steady returns. They are less volatile and suitable for long-term investments.

Canara Robeco Blue Chip Fund (Rs. 20,000)
Another blue-chip fund, enhancing the stability of your portfolio. It’s good to have a significant allocation here.

Mirae Asset Large Cap (Rs. 2,000)
Large-cap funds are relatively safe and provide consistent returns.

Quant Active Fund (Rs. 10,000)
Actively managed funds can potentially outperform the market, but come with higher risk.

HDFC Flexi Cap (Rs. 5,000)
Flexi cap funds provide diversification across market caps, offering a balance of growth and stability.

PGIM Flexi Cap (Rs. 3,000)
Another flexi cap fund, adding to the diversified approach.

Canara Robeco Emerging Equities (Rs. 5,000)
Emerging equity funds target mid and small-cap stocks, providing higher growth potential but with increased risk.

Mirae Asset Emerging Blue Chip (Rs. 2,500)
This fund balances between large and mid-cap stocks, providing a mix of stability and growth.

Axis Growth Opportunities (Rs. 3,000)
Growth funds aim for higher returns through aggressive investment strategies, suitable for a balanced risk profile.

Kotak Small Cap (Rs. 3,000)
Small-cap funds can deliver high returns, but they also come with significant risk.

Evaluating Your Lump Sum Investments
Your lump sum investments also show a good mix of fund types. Here’s an assessment:

Canara Robeco Small Cap (Rs. 75,000)
Small-cap funds, while risky, can provide substantial returns over time.

HDFC Balanced Advantage (Rs. 3,90,000)
Balanced funds provide a mix of equity and debt, offering moderate risk with steady returns.

ICICI Equity & Debt Fund (Rs. 4,00,000)
This hybrid fund further balances your risk and return profile.

PGIM Balanced Advantage (Rs. 2,35,000)
Another balanced fund, enhancing stability in your portfolio.

PGIM Midcap Opportunities Fund (Rs. 1,90,000)
Mid-cap funds offer higher growth potential than large-cap but are riskier.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (Rs. 1,50,000)
Flexi cap funds provide diversification and can adapt to market changes.

Quant Active Fund (Rs. 1,25,000)
Active funds aim for market outperformance but come with higher volatility.

SBI Flexi Cap Fund (Rs. 1,62,000)
Flexi cap funds add to the diversified nature of your portfolio.

UTI Flexi Cap Fund (Rs. 30,000)
Another flexi cap fund, maintaining diversification.

Assessing the Feasibility of a Rs. 2 Crore Corpus
Given your current investments, achieving a Rs. 2 crore corpus in five years is possible but challenging. It depends on market performance and consistent returns. Historically, equity mutual funds can offer 10-12% annual returns, but this is not guaranteed.

Recommendations for Continued Investment
Maintain Diversification
Your portfolio is well-diversified. Continue this strategy to manage risk effectively.

Increase Equity Exposure Cautiously
Consider slightly increasing your SIP amounts in high-growth funds like small-cap and mid-cap funds if you are comfortable with higher risk.

Review and Rebalance Annually
Regularly review your portfolio’s performance and rebalance annually to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Consider Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)
As you approach your goal, consider shifting some investments to safer options and use SWPs to manage withdrawals systematically.

Stay Informed
Keep abreast of market trends and economic factors that might impact your investments.

Evaluating Specific Fund Choices
Blue Chip Funds
Blue-chip funds are a safe bet. Ensure that you have a substantial allocation here for stability.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility and diversification across market caps, which is beneficial.

Small and Mid-Cap Funds
These funds offer high growth potential but be mindful of their volatility. Balance their proportion to match your risk tolerance.

Balanced Advantage and Hybrid Funds
These funds are excellent for maintaining a balance between growth and safety. They should form a core part of your portfolio as you near your goal.

Aligning Investments with Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals
For any short-term financial needs, consider safer investment options like debt funds or fixed deposits.

Medium-Term Goals
Balanced funds or hybrid funds are suitable for medium-term goals, offering a balance of growth and stability.

Long-Term Goals
Continue with your equity investments for long-term goals. Equities typically provide higher returns over a long period.

Ensuring Tax Efficiency
Invest in funds that provide tax benefits under Section 80C to optimize your tax savings. Balanced funds and equity-linked savings schemes (ELSS) can be considered for this purpose.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice. They can help you adjust your portfolio based on your financial situation and goals.

Conclusion
Your current investment strategy is robust and well-diversified. With careful planning and regular monitoring, achieving a Rs. 2 crore corpus in the next five years is within reach. Continue your disciplined investment approach and consider professional guidance for optimal results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

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Hello sir ,I am 37 years old female I am investing in mutual fund since 2023 Total value approx.2 lakh SBI contra-5000 Edelweiss balanced advantage fund -2000 Mirae asset ELSS tax saver-2000 Parag pareikh flexi cap direct growth-3000 Quant small cap -5500 Bhandhan ELSS tax saver-2500 Some investment in PPF- 8lkh Ssy-6 lkh Please advice is this a right way to achieve goal of corpus 2 crore in 10-20 years or need more investment or any changes in investment Please advice
Ans: You are off to a good start by investing in mutual funds and other secure instruments like PPF and SSY. Your goal is to achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crores within 10-20 years. This is an achievable target with the right strategy, discipline, and possibly some adjustments to your current investment plan.

Evaluating Your Existing Mutual Fund Portfolio
SBI Contra Fund
A contra fund invests in undervalued stocks, following a contrarian approach. These funds can deliver high returns over the long term but can be volatile. Given your long-term horizon, it’s a good addition to your portfolio, especially if you have a high-risk appetite.

Edelweiss Balanced Advantage Fund
Balanced advantage funds dynamically allocate between equity and debt based on market conditions. This fund offers stability and is suitable for conservative investors. It’s a good choice for reducing the overall risk in your portfolio.

Mirae Asset ELSS Tax Saver
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C and have a three-year lock-in period. These funds are equity-oriented, offering growth potential. Investing in ELSS is a smart way to save taxes while building wealth.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund
Flexi-cap funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This fund is versatile, providing diversification across different market capitalizations. It’s a strong growth-oriented fund that can help you achieve your long-term goals.

Quant Small Cap Fund
Small-cap funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. While these funds can be volatile, they offer significant returns over time. However, it’s crucial to monitor them closely, especially if market conditions change.

Bandhan ELSS Tax Saver Fund
Like the Mirae Asset ELSS fund, this fund also provides tax benefits while offering growth through equity investments. Having two ELSS funds can be redundant unless you are utilizing them fully for tax savings under Section 80C.

Review of Your Non-Mutual Fund Investments
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your investment in PPF is sound. It provides safety, guaranteed returns, and tax benefits. However, the returns are fixed and may not keep pace with inflation over the long term. It’s good for preserving capital but not for aggressive growth.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY)
SSY is a government-backed savings scheme for the girl child, offering a high-interest rate with tax benefits. It’s an excellent investment for long-term security and is well-suited for goals related to your daughter’s future.

Assessing Your Investment Strategy
Current Investment Amounts
You are currently investing around Rs. 19,000 per month in mutual funds. To achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crores in 10-20 years, it’s essential to evaluate whether this amount, along with your existing investments, will be sufficient.

Required Corpus Calculation
Without going into specific calculations, a rough estimate suggests that you may need to invest more than your current amount, especially if your goal is closer to 10 years. If your horizon is 20 years, your current investments, coupled with regular increases, might be sufficient.

Need for Additional Investment
If you can increase your monthly SIP amount, it would significantly enhance your chances of reaching your Rs. 2 crore target within 10 years. Given your current investments and the potential growth of your funds, consider gradually increasing your SIPs by 10-15% annually.

Suggested Adjustments and Diversification
Portfolio Diversification
Your portfolio is diversified across different types of funds, which is good. However, the allocation could be fine-tuned for better balance:

Increase Allocation to Large-Cap Funds: Large-cap funds provide stability and consistent returns. Consider adding a large-cap fund to your portfolio or increasing allocation if you already have one.

Reduce Redundancy in ELSS Funds: Since you have two ELSS funds, you might want to consolidate into one, unless both are serving a specific tax-saving purpose.

Monitor Small-Cap Exposure: While small-cap funds offer high growth, they also come with higher risk. Ensure you are comfortable with the volatility and consider balancing this with more stable investments.

Consider Adding a Multi-Cap Fund: Multi-cap funds offer diversification across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They balance risk and return effectively, making them a good option for long-term growth.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio at least once a year to ensure it remains aligned with your goals. Rebalance if necessary, to maintain the desired asset allocation.

The Disadvantages of Direct Funds
You are currently investing in direct funds, which have a lower expense ratio. However, direct funds require active monitoring and decision-making. If you prefer a more hands-off approach, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) with a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) credential can offer professional guidance, regular reviews, and portfolio adjustments. This ensures that your investments remain on track with your financial goals.

Final Insights
You are on the right path with your current investments. Your diversified portfolio of mutual funds, combined with safe investments like PPF and SSY, offers a good mix of growth and stability. However, to reach your Rs. 2 crore target in 10-20 years, consider increasing your monthly SIPs and possibly reallocating some investments for better balance.

Regularly reviewing your portfolio and making necessary adjustments will help you stay on track to achieve your financial goals. With disciplined investing and strategic planning, you can build a robust corpus for your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 30 years now. I have started my Mutual fund in July 2024 portfolio by investing in several mutual funds. I am investing for long term gain and to accumulate a corpus or min. 2 Cr in other 30 years. Please advice if i can continue my investing. Here are my investments - 1. Index Fund - UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Growth - 3000 2. Large Cap Fund - ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct Growth - 2000 3. Midcap Fund - HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund - 1500 4. Small Cap Fund - Nippon India Small Cap Fund - 1500 5. Flexi Cap Fund - Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth - 2000 Please advise sir
Ans: At 30 years of age, your decision to start investing in mutual funds is commendable. Your goal of accumulating a corpus of Rs 2 crore over the next 30 years is achievable with disciplined investing.

However, it is important to regularly review and align your portfolio with your financial objectives. This ensures that your investments remain on track towards achieving your desired goals.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio consists of a mix of index funds, large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. Let’s assess the pros and cons of each and see how they contribute to your long-term goal:

1. Index Fund (UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund Growth)

Disadvantages of Index Funds: While index funds offer low-cost exposure to the market, they may not outperform actively managed funds over the long term. Index funds simply mimic the market index and do not have the flexibility to adapt to changing market conditions. In times of market downturns, index funds can also suffer significant declines without the ability to cushion losses.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds, on the other hand, offer the potential for higher returns as they are managed by experienced fund managers who can make strategic decisions based on market trends. These managers aim to outperform the benchmark index, giving you the potential for better returns in the long run.

2. Large Cap Fund (ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct Growth)

Large Cap Exposure: Large-cap funds are known for their stability and lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds. They invest in well-established companies with a strong track record. However, the "Direct" plan of this fund means you are investing without the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Disadvantages of Direct Plans: Direct plans require investors to be more hands-on, with regular monitoring and decision-making. Many investors might miss out on timely advice, leading to missed opportunities or increased risks. Regular plans, through a CFP or MFD, ensure that you receive professional guidance, helping you make informed decisions aligned with your goals.

3. Midcap Fund (HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund)

Growth Potential: Midcap funds offer a balance between risk and reward. They invest in companies with the potential for high growth. However, they can be volatile, especially during market downturns. It's essential to have a longer investment horizon for mid-cap funds, as you do, to ride out the volatility and capture long-term growth.
4. Small Cap Fund (Nippon India Small Cap Fund)

High Risk, High Reward: Small-cap funds invest in emerging companies with high growth potential. However, they are also the most volatile and carry higher risk. These funds can experience significant fluctuations in short periods. While they can generate substantial returns, it's important to balance them with more stable investments.
5. Flexi Cap Fund (Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth)

Diversification and Flexibility: Flexi-cap funds invest across market capitalizations (large, mid, and small-cap stocks). This provides a diversified approach, reducing the risk associated with investing in a single market segment. However, as with the large-cap fund, the "Direct" nature of this investment means you are managing it without expert guidance.
Recommended Adjustments to Your Portfolio
Given your long-term horizon and financial goals, consider the following adjustments:

1. Switch from Index Funds to Actively Managed Funds

Replace the index fund with an actively managed large-cap or multi-cap fund. This could offer better returns over the long term, as fund managers can make informed decisions based on market conditions.
2. Move from Direct to Regular Plans

Consider switching your direct plans to regular plans. A CFP or MFD will provide professional advice and regular portfolio reviews. This will help you make the most of your investments and adjust your portfolio as needed.
3. Rebalance Your Portfolio

Ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across asset classes. You may consider adding a mix of debt funds to reduce risk. This will provide stability, especially during market downturns.

Periodically rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation and ensure you are on track to achieve your financial goals.

Importance of Regular Portfolio Review
Regularly reviewing your portfolio is crucial. The financial market is dynamic, and periodic reviews will help you make necessary adjustments. This ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals.

Tax Efficiency and Investment Tenure
Tax Implications: Keep in mind the tax implications of your investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds are taxed at 10% on gains exceeding Rs 1 lakh per financial year.

Investment Tenure: Given your 30-year horizon, equity funds are suitable due to their potential for high returns over the long term. However, consider the tax benefits and implications when choosing funds and investment durations.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Expert Guidance: A CFP can help you navigate the complexities of investing, offering personalized advice and ensuring your portfolio aligns with your goals. They will help you stay disciplined and avoid common pitfalls that can derail your financial journey.
Final Insights
Your current portfolio has a solid foundation, but with some adjustments, it can be optimized for better long-term performance. Replacing index funds with actively managed funds, switching to regular plans, and ensuring a balanced portfolio will help you achieve your goal of accumulating Rs 2 crore in 30 years.

Investing in a well-diversified portfolio, guided by a Certified Financial Planner, will ensure that you are on the right path to financial success. Remember to stay disciplined, review your portfolio regularly, and make adjustments as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 11, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir , I am 39 years old my mutual fund portfolio is 42.02 Lakh as of today doing SIP in Canara Robecoo Blue chip- 5000, HDFC focused 30 -10000, HDFC midcap opportunities-10000, ICICI pruden. Nifty 200 Momentum -10000, Parag Parekh Flexi Cap -10000, SBI contra -10000, SBI Nifty index fund -10000, Tata Small Cap -10000, Moti Lal Oswal Nasdaq 100 - 10000, In total of 85000 Per month with planning to increase 10% every year , I am looking for a horizon of another 7 years to accumulate a corpus of 5 crores / Please guide me if the investment and planning can meet the desired goal or else how much i an expect it to reach ? Any suggestion to add/remove any funds? Any changes required in my investment approach
Ans: Your portfolio value is Rs. 42.02 lakh, which is impressive.

You are investing Rs. 85,000 monthly, which is a significant commitment.

Your SIPs are diversified across categories, including large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

You have exposure to momentum, thematic, and international funds.

Your plan to increase SIPs by 10% yearly is a positive step.

Assessing Your Corpus Target
Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 5 crores in 7 years.

Equity investments over 7 years may yield good returns due to compounding.

However, achieving Rs. 5 crores depends on consistent returns and SIP increases.

Market fluctuations can impact growth, requiring regular monitoring.

Insights on Fund Allocation
Your portfolio has multiple schemes, which might cause over-diversification.

Too many funds may reduce focus and overlap stock holdings.

Avoid index funds for higher returns. Actively managed funds often outperform.

Direct funds lack personalized advice. Regular plans with Certified Financial Planners add value.

Ensure all funds align with your risk profile and long-term goals.

Suggested Portfolio Changes
Reduce overlapping categories. Focus on fewer, well-performing funds.

Replace underperforming funds with actively managed funds.

Avoid investing in too many thematic or sector-specific funds.

Increase allocation to mid-cap and flexi-cap funds for higher growth potential.

Review international exposure. It should be limited to 10-15% of your portfolio.

Enhancing Investment Strategy
Stick to equity funds for long-term wealth creation.

Avoid debt funds unless needed for short-term goals or stability.

Rebalance your portfolio yearly to align with your goals.

Include funds with consistent performance across market cycles.

Monitor taxation. Plan redemptions to optimise tax impact.

The Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track the market passively.

They cannot outperform the market or take advantage of opportunities.

Actively managed funds are better for high returns over the long term.

Index funds lack professional intervention during volatile phases.

Importance of Regular Plans
Regular plans provide expert guidance from Certified Financial Planners.

Direct funds may seem cost-effective but lack personalised insights.

Regular plans ensure disciplined investing and strategic reviews.

Setting Up a Review Plan
Review your portfolio performance annually.

Assess returns, diversification, and risk-adjusted performance.

Make adjustments based on market conditions and personal financial changes.

Tax Considerations for Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds have new tax rules.

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax impact.

Final Insights
Your goal is achievable with disciplined investing and portfolio optimisation.

Avoid over-diversification and focus on fewer, high-performing funds.

Stay committed to SIP increases to accelerate corpus growth.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for annual reviews and strategic adjustments.

A focused and well-managed portfolio will help you achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
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It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
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Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
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You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

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Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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