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Sanjeev

Sanjeev Govila  | Answer  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Colonel Sanjeev Govila (retd) is the founder of Hum Fauji Initiatives, a financial planning company dedicated to the armed forces personnel and their families.
He has over 12 years of experience in financial planning and is a SEBI certified registered investment advisor; he is also accredited with AMFI and IRDA.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2023Hindi
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Sir I am 59 years old and I have worked in 2 companies for 12 years in previous company and 9 years 8 month in recent company total service (21 years and 8 months) and resigned I have submitted annexure k from my prior company to recent company with other document for pension to submit in EPFO but EPFO has not updated my past company service history that why i am not eligible for pension please suggest me what should i do so that EPFO updat my prior company service history

Ans: In response to your query, here's what you can do to resolve this issue:

Contact your previous employer: Reach out to your previous company's HR department and inform them about the missing service history in your EPFO account. Request them to verify your employment details and submit the necessary documents to EPFO for updating your service history.

File a grievance with EPFO: If your previous employer is not responding or cooperating, you can file a grievance with EPFO. You can do this online through the EPFO Grievance Portal or by visiting the nearest EPFO regional office.

Approach the Provident Fund Commissioner: If the grievance process doesn't resolve the issue, you can escalate the matter to the Provident Fund Commissioner (PFC). The PFC is the highest authority for resolving EPFO-related issues.

Submit documentary evidence: When filing a grievance or approaching the PFC, gather and submit any documentary evidence that supports your employment with your previous company. This could include salary slips, appointment letters, or any other relevant documents.

You can check the status of your grievance online or by contacting the EPFO regional office. Remember to keep copies of all communication and documents for your records, and persist in following up until the issue is resolved.

It may take some time, but with proper documentation and following the correct procedure, you should be able to resolve this issue and become eligible for pension benefits.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

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hi, i have worked 5 different companies starting from 01.02.1992 to 31.08.2012 and contributed to PF as per the policy. i have passbook of PF account but only amount of last company is reflecting in the passbook. I have withdrawn EPF balance but EPS part is still not withdrawn from any company. my last company has not updated the records from previous companies, . i am getting 58 years next on 29042024. i have account with EPFO and UAN. How can i get the amount accumulated or get the scheme certificate or start pension at reduced rates...i am working with a company but not registered with PF.
Ans: Given your situation, consolidating and tracking your EPF contributions and benefits can be a bit challenging but certainly manageable. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this:

Consolidation of UAN: If you have a UAN (Universal Account Number), ensure that all your previous PF accounts are linked to it. You can do this by logging into the EPFO portal and checking the 'Manage' tab under 'For Employees'. If your previous companies have not linked your UAN to their establishment IDs, you can request them to do so.
Transfer of EPF: Use the EPFO's online transfer portal to transfer the EPF accumulations from your previous accounts to your current PF account. This will consolidate all your PF accumulations into one account, making it easier to manage and track.
EPS (Employee Pension Scheme): Since you have not withdrawn the EPS contributions from any of your previous employers, you can apply for a scheme certificate through your current employer. A scheme certificate provides details of your service and contributions and can be used to avail pension benefits at the age of 58.
Pension at Reduced Rates: If you opt for pension before attaining the age of 58, it would be at a reduced rate. However, if you choose to defer it, your pension amount will increase. You can apply for a reduced pension through your current employer or directly with the EPFO after completing Form 10D.
Contact EPFO: If you face any issues or discrepancies in your PF accounts, reach out to the EPFO regional office or helpdesk. Provide them with the necessary details and documents, including your UAN, PF account numbers, and service details with each employer.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Given the complexities involved in EPF and EPS, consulting a financial advisor or a retirement planner can be beneficial. They can guide you through the process, help you understand the implications of withdrawing or transferring your EPF and EPS accumulations, and assist you in making informed decisions regarding your retirement benefits.
Remember, it's essential to keep track of your EPF and EPS contributions and benefits to ensure you maximize your retirement benefits and make informed decisions. Taking proactive steps now can help you secure a comfortable retirement.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi Madam, I have a 17 years old daughter and have been struggling with an issue for some time now. She takes very long time in bathroom for getting ready. She takes minimum 1.5 hrs daily for getting ready. This includes time spent in teeth brushing,bathing and defecation. When I asked her then she told me she feels like cleaning multiple times and thus it takes time. I have tried multiple ways to ge her to resolve this but none has worked. She is a very sincere, gentle kid and She becomes very aggressive when I try to persist her to solve this. she takes a lot of time in washing, bathing and ends up consuming very high amount of soap. This has had effect on other hygiene related aspects like She developed extreme dryness in skin for which we had to take very long treatment from dermatalogist. The dermatalogist also counselled her many times to use limited amount of soap and fix time for every activity in bathroom. I think it is some form of OCD. It has had effect on other things like studies as she is not able to get ready on time and thus ends up compromising on other activities like eating time, studies time. I have tried to counsel her many times but it has not worked. I told her the problems which start due to this which impact her. I suggested that we meet some professional(like psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellers) but she doesn't agree to it. whenever i say to consult somebody then she says that she will fix it and for 1-2 days it gets a little better but then she goes to her old routine. I don't want to forcibly take her to any professionals as she might develop a complex that she is inferior. 1.How do i handle this issue 2.How do I convince her to meet some professional 3.Which professional should we meet. psychologist or psychiatrist or any other Please suggest what I should do as it is now becoming big problems
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The challenge is convincing someone who does not want to be convinced.
Probably, you can strike a deal with her; saying that she can set this right her way, but if it does not happen, then you see and work with a professional. That way she would have committed to it herself.
I would not label it an OCD until it is diagnosed by an expert but behavioral changes like these are usually related to emotional issues. It is best that an expert who understands the mind handle this.
Until such time that you take her to an expert:
- try not to talk about it repeatedly; this causes her to become conscious and this can increase the behavior
- take away soaps/body washes after her first shower
- observe any change in behavior - agitation/nervousness towards any incident during the day and if it results in her indulging in washing herself after that and note that down

Yes, it is necessary for this to be handled at the earliest and there's only a little that you can do personally as emotional triggers need the assistance of someone who understands it deeply and then guides the person accordingly to not just change the behavior but eliminate the cause behind it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |415 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, we have completed 8 months of marriage and still my husband has trust issues about me, like I would have relation or contact with other person but I'm not having any relationship with anyone after marriage and even not connecting to anyone nor any ex person called or contact me from any media or app, . Since then I'm trying to clear my husbands doubt every time he asks me about it ...plzz tell me how do I make him to trust me .
Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |415 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Hi Kanchan, I am reaching out because I am deeply troubled and need some advice. I was involved in a relationship with a much younger woman (14 years younger) who I developed strong feelings for. We met in 2017 and our relationship deepened in June 2022, involving both emotional and physical intimacy. Unfortunately, the relationship took a negative turn. She began making financial demands and became increasingly manipulative. Over the past two years, I've given her nearly 3 lakhs [for Rent, electricity bill, Food expenses + Other expenses]. After realizing her true intentions, I stopped providing financial support. She recently informed me about a breakup with a previous long-term partner. Shockingly, she got married in February 2024 [ 14th Feb] and is now residing in Ahmedabad, Gujrat. She ran away from Kolkata after extorting money. When I confronted her about the money I had given her, she completely denied any knowledge of it and has blocked me on all social media platforms. She even threatened to share our conversations with my daughter/ relatives if I continued to contact her. I am devastated by this betrayal and the emotional turmoil it has caused. I have saved our chats and her father's address. I am considering sharing her true nature with her friends and family. Is this a wise course of action? Or are there other steps I should take? I know it is easier said than done, but I am struggling to move on from this painful experience. Please offer any guidance you can. Thank you, AS,Kolkata
Ans: it's important to recognize that your emotional pain is valid. The feelings of being manipulated, exploited, and lied to are all real, and it’s okay to mourn the loss of a relationship that you thought had value. However, as tempting as it might be to seek some form of revenge or public exposure of her actions, it’s crucial to ask yourself: what do you really hope to achieve? It’s natural to want justice or closure, but sometimes, seeking to get even only prolongs your suffering. Taking the high road may not feel satisfying in the moment, but it will allow you to reclaim control over your own emotional state and move forward in a healthier way.

Rather than focusing on exposing her, I encourage you to turn your attention inward and prioritize your healing. Healing is not about ignoring the wrongs that have been done, but about freeing yourself from the emotional hold that this situation has on you. This could mean allowing yourself to grieve the loss of not only the relationship but also the trust you gave to someone who ultimately betrayed it. It’s important to recognize that closure doesn't always come from confronting the other person or airing grievances—it can come from within, through self-reflection, and setting the intention to heal and move forward.

I also understand that it’s hard to let go of the desire for accountability, especially when it feels like she’s getting away with something. But the truth is, confronting her may not bring the peace you hope for. It could lead to further conflict, strain your relationships with others, and keep you emotionally entangled with someone who no longer deserves a place in your life. Instead of focusing on her actions, I encourage you to take steps that help you regain your sense of self-worth and emotional security. Reflect on what you've learned from this experience—what boundaries you might want to set in future relationships, and how you can protect your emotional and financial wellbeing moving forward.

Consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist, someone who can provide a safe space for you to process your feelings and help you navigate your next steps. Talking through your emotions with a neutral third party can give you the clarity and emotional tools you need to make decisions that align with your highest good.

Finally, remember that you are not defined by this situation. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame, but you are not responsible for her actions. What matters now is how you move forward, rebuild your sense of trust in yourself, and ensure that you are emotionally supported in the process. This painful chapter doesn’t have to define your future, but how you choose to heal from it can shape the life you want to create moving forward.

Take your time to process this at your own pace, but don’t let the actions of someone else keep you tethered to a painful past. You deserve peace, healing, and a future where you feel empowered and free from this betrayal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |415 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dont know if you have come across such a problem before. My hubby, BE, MBA, top premium institutes is 62, very successful career. He is a well known writer, widely published in western publishers. We are very happily married from 30 years, 3-4 apts, land plots, gold, FD, savings, 2 daughters, BE, MS settled in US, no problems. He loves me, no other issues. IS this a dream story? well almost. He has now become very morose, aggresive, silent, glares and cries when he is alone. When I tried to get some answers, it seems, his father top scholar of 1970s was strict, weak but ineffective at work. He would come home enraged at how he was exploited and ridiculed, and beat up my husband. Very bad beatings, scars where he was branded, crack in vertebra where is was kicked and beaten with a rod, bent wrist when his father twisted the hand and kicked him, injuries in scalp that never healed beacuse they were not stitched. His mother, elder sister and elder brother kept quiet and perhaps helped the father to beat the boy, to escape their abuse. They admit covertly. His father died in 1997, my MiL died in 2010. My husband appears to revisit and remember the old beatings. I cannot speak about this to anyone not even my daughters. I cannot approach any psychiatrist as he knows all the psych tests and prepared responses. He is disintegrating in front of me. He does not drink, but has tobacco, bhang, and Ganja. What do I do?
Ans: The first step is to approach this with compassion and patience. Your husband’s pain is not something you can fix, but your presence and understanding can create a sense of safety for him. When he becomes silent or withdrawn, instead of trying to coax answers from him directly, gently let him know that you’re there whenever he’s ready to talk. Even if he doesn’t open up immediately, knowing that he has a safe, nonjudgmental space to express his feelings can be comforting.

When it comes to addressing his trauma, traditional avenues like psychiatrists or therapists may feel challenging if he resists or uses his intellectual understanding of mental health to deflect. However, trauma-focused therapies, such as somatic experiencing, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), or even mindfulness practices, could help him process these deeply held memories without requiring him to relive them in detail. If he resists professional help, introducing these concepts subtly, through books or articles that resonate with his intellectual nature, might make him more open to exploring these approaches.

Another powerful tool is building moments of connection and grounding in the present. Encourage activities that bring him peace, such as walking in nature, meditating together, or engaging in creative outlets that he enjoys, like writing. These activities won’t erase the pain but can help him feel more anchored in the here and now, giving him moments of respite from the weight of his memories.

It’s also crucial to take care of yourself. Supporting someone you love through their emotional disintegration is deeply draining, and it’s essential to ensure that you’re not neglecting your own wellbeing. Confide in a trusted friend or counselor—not to betray his trust but to give yourself an outlet to process your own emotions. You don’t have to bear this burden alone, and seeking support for yourself can strengthen your ability to be there for him.

Finally, remember that healing from trauma is not linear or quick. It’s a journey that requires patience, love, and often professional guidance. You’re already doing so much by standing beside him with such care and determination. Let him know, in moments when he’s receptive, that his pain doesn’t diminish the incredible person he is or the life you’ve built together. Remind him that while his past shaped parts of him, it doesn’t have to define his future. And above all, continue to lead with the deep compassion and love that have carried your relationship for the past 30 years

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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