Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

55 and Wanting to Retire: Achieve a Rs. 2 Lakh Monthly Income with Rs. 5 Crore+!

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |800 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Milind Vadjikar is an independent MF distributor registered with Association of Mutual Funds in India (AMFI) and a retirement financial planning advisor registered with Pension Fund Regulatory and Development Authority (PFRDA).
He has a mechanical engineering degree from Government Engineering College, Sambhajinagar, and an MBA in international business from the Symbiosis Institute of Business Management, Pune.
With over 16 years of experience in stock investments, and over six year experience in investment guidance and support, he believes that balanced asset allocation and goal-focused disciplined investing is the key to achieving investor goals.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

I am 55 and want to retire. I have Rs. 100 lacs in EPF, Rs. 35 lacs in PPF, Rs. 35 lacs in NSC, Rs. 45 lacs in NPS, Rs. 55 lacs in MF, Rs. 50 lacs in FD, Rs. 10 lacs in LIC, Rs. 30 lacs in superannuation fund, Rs. 55 lacs in business, Rs. 110 lacs in housing property (2 flats). What investment planning I should do to get monthly income of Rs. 2 lacs? How much corpus I will have at the age of 65 years with proposed investment plan?

Ans: Hello;

Your current total corpus adds upto around 3.7 Cr. (Excluding NPS part of which will get annuitized at 60 age & RE properties).

If you buy an immediate annuity for this corpus you may expect to receive monthly payout of around 2 L(pre-tax) assuming 7% as annuity rate.

I presume you have occupied one flat for self use and other flat is let out on rent.

The rental income per month from one flat and annuity from balance 40% of NPS(after 60 age) will be your surplus income over and above 2 L as envisaged.

You may opt for annual increase in annuity which is a feature offered by some life insurers.

I do not advise retirement corpus to be exposed to equity considering risks involved hence corpus will remain 4 Cr at 65 unless you decide to sell the extra flat or add lumpsum of NPS corpus (60%) to your sum for more annuity income.

Happy Investing!!
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello sir, I am 42 years old and want to retire by age of 55. My current savings is 303L in EPF. 307L in equity, 9.6L in nps. Investment I does as follows 1. Epf - 45000 by employer and same contribution by me as well which combined around 90000/- 2. 27000/- monthly sip , Nippon small cap 6000, axis small cap 6000, quant infrastructure fund 6000/-, quant small cap 6000/-l miarae asset blue chi large cap 3000/- all started very soon having corpus of 4L as of today. 3. Investing 25000/- in nps monthly. 4. Around 50k monthly in equity I have a liability of 50L home loan which I have planned to get rid off by 2028. I have another home loan which will be closed by end of 2025. I have a daughter which is doing CA and for marriage it will be required around 1 cr. I have a son who are going to persue medical which will cost me 50-75L. How I can plan my retirement to get atleast 3L monthly by age of 55. My current monthly take home salary is 3L around.
Ans: Given your goal to retire by 55 with a monthly income of ?3L, you have a comprehensive plan with a mix of investments and savings. Here's a suggested strategy:

EPF: Continue the contribution as it offers tax benefits and stable returns.

SIPs: Your SIPs in small and large-cap funds are good for growth. Consider adding a diversified equity fund for balance. Monitor and rebalance annually.

NPS: Since you're investing ?25,000 monthly, ensure you choose the auto-choice option for a balanced allocation between equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.

Home Loans: Prioritize closing the higher interest rate loan first while maintaining EMIs for both.

Children’s Education and Marriage: Start separate SIPs or investments earmarked for these goals to reach 1 cr for your daughter's marriage and 50-75L for your son's medical studies.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund of at least 6 months' expenses.

Retirement Corpus: Aim to build a corpus that can generate ?3L/month. Based on a conservative estimate, a corpus of around ?6-7 crores by 55 might be needed. Regularly review and adjust your investments to align with this target.

Professional Advice: Consult a financial advisor to fine-tune your plan and ensure you're on track to meet your retirement and other financial goals.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 52 and want to retire now. Want to have 2 lac/ month income. My corpus has 4.5Cr in FDs/EPF/PPF, 30 Lac in MFs, 75 Lac in Stocks. No liabilities. Let me know how should i invest my funds to get desired or better income
Ans: Congratulations on reaching this milestone and planning for your retirement! With your substantial corpus and clear income goal, here are some suggestions on how you can invest your funds to generate a monthly income of 2 lakhs:

Fixed Deposits (FDs):
While FDs offer stability and guaranteed returns, they typically provide lower returns compared to other investment options. Consider keeping a portion of your corpus in FDs to ensure liquidity and meet short-term expenses.
Equity Mutual Funds (MFs) and Stocks:
Given your long investment horizon and the need for higher returns to sustain your desired income, consider allocating a significant portion of your portfolio to equity MFs and individual stocks.
Equity investments have the potential to generate higher returns over the long term but come with higher volatility. Diversify your equity portfolio across different sectors and market caps to manage risk.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):
Consider setting up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your MF investments to generate a regular income stream. You can specify the withdrawal amount and frequency based on your income needs.
SWP allows you to liquidate a portion of your MF units systematically while keeping the remaining investment intact to continue growing.
Dividend Income:
If you have invested in dividend-paying stocks or equity MFs, you can receive regular dividend income. However, dividend payouts are subject to market conditions and may vary over time.
Retirement-oriented Investments:
Explore retirement-focused investment options like Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Pradhan Mantri Vaya Vandana Yojana (PMVVY), or annuity plans from insurance companies.
These instruments offer regular income with varying degrees of safety and liquidity.
Consult a Financial Advisor:
Given the complexity of retirement planning and the need for personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner.
A professional can assess your financial situation, risk tolerance, and income needs to create a customized retirement plan and recommend suitable investment strategies.
Remember to regularly review your investment portfolio and adjust your asset allocation and withdrawal strategy based on changing market conditions and your evolving financial needs. With careful planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve your goal of generating a monthly income of 2 lakhs in retirement. Best of luck on your retirement journey!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Money
Hi I am 35 years old. My in hand salary is 3 lacs. I have 26 lacs in epf, 24 lacs in equity, 1.1 lacs in gold soverign bond. I have one flat worth 1.2cr with 30 lacs as loan . My monthly expense is 70k . My wife is home maker and i have 2 children(girl 9 years old, boy 4 years old) I want to retire after 5 years . After that i need atleast 1.2 lacs per month in hand. How should i plan my investment
Ans: It’s great to hear from you. You’ve done well with your savings and investments. Let's plan your investment strategy so you can retire comfortably in five years and ensure you have at least Rs. 1.2 lakhs per month in hand post-retirement.

Current Financial Snapshot
Age and Family: You are 35 years old, with a homemaker wife and two children (9-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son).

Income and Expenses: Your in-hand salary is Rs. 3 lakhs per month, and your monthly expenses are Rs. 70,000.

Investments and Assets:

EPF: Rs. 26 lakhs
Equity: Rs. 24 lakhs
Gold Sovereign Bonds: Rs. 1.1 lakhs
Flat worth Rs. 1.2 crores (with a Rs. 30 lakhs loan)
Retirement Goals
Retirement Age: 40 years
Monthly Income Post-Retirement: Rs. 1.2 lakhs in hand
Investment Strategy for Retirement Planning
Assessing Your Current Situation
You have a strong base with your current savings and investments. Let’s break it down:

EPF: A good foundation for your retirement savings.

Equity: This is your growth engine and needs to be managed well for maximum returns.

Gold Sovereign Bonds: These are good for diversification and stability.

Flat: A significant asset, but with an outstanding loan, the net value is lower.

Your immediate goal is to ensure you have enough income post-retirement. Here's a detailed plan:

1. Enhance Your Equity Investments
Equity investments are crucial for long-term growth. Since you have Rs. 24 lakhs in equity, ensure it's diversified across various sectors and market caps (large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap).

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:

Professional Management: Fund managers actively monitor and adjust the portfolio.
Potential for Higher Returns: They aim to outperform benchmarks.
Risk Management: They adjust portfolios to mitigate risks during market volatility.
Action Points:

Increase your monthly SIPs in equity mutual funds. Aim for a mix of large-cap for stability, and mid-cap and small-cap for growth.
Review and rebalance your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your goals.
2. Maximize Your EPF Contributions
EPF is a safe and tax-efficient retirement saving option. Keep contributing to it regularly.

Action Points:

Continue your EPF contributions till you retire.
Consider voluntary contributions (VPF) if possible to increase your retirement corpus.
3. Diversify with Debt Instruments
Diversification is essential. While equity offers growth, debt instruments provide stability.

Debt Instruments Include:

Corporate Bonds: Offer higher returns than fixed deposits but with some risk.
Debt Mutual Funds: Provide stable returns with lower risk compared to equities.
Government Bonds: Safe but with moderate returns.
Action Points:

Allocate a portion of your savings to debt instruments for stability.
Consider debt mutual funds for a balanced portfolio.
4. Utilize Gold Sovereign Bonds
Gold bonds provide a hedge against inflation and are a good diversification tool.

Action Points:

Hold onto your gold sovereign bonds for diversification.
Consider adding more during dips in gold prices for long-term holding.
5. Manage Your Real Estate Investment
Your flat is a significant asset. Reducing the outstanding loan can increase your net worth.

Action Points:

Accelerate loan repayment if possible. It reduces interest outflow and increases net savings.
Consider the rental income post-retirement if you decide to let out the property.
6. Emergency Fund and Insurance
An emergency fund is crucial to cover unexpected expenses. Adequate insurance protects against unforeseen events.

Action Points:

Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid fund.
Ensure your health and life insurance covers are adequate.
7. Education and Marriage Planning for Children
Planning for your children’s education and marriage is essential.

Action Points:

Start dedicated SIPs in mutual funds for their education and marriage expenses.
Consider child-specific investment plans for long-term savings.
Creating a Retirement Corpus
To generate Rs. 1.2 lakhs per month post-retirement, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Here’s how to approach it:

Estimate Your Retirement Corpus
Calculate the amount needed for 25-30 years post-retirement considering inflation.
Aim for a corpus that generates Rs. 1.2 lakhs per month through systematic withdrawals or interest/dividends.
Investment Vehicles for Retirement Corpus
Equity Mutual Funds:

Continue and increase SIPs for growth.
Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for diversification.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Invest in debt funds for stability and regular income.
Consider a mix of short-term, medium-term, and long-term debt funds.
Hybrid Funds:

Invest in balanced or hybrid funds that combine equity and debt.
These offer a good mix of growth and stability.
Fixed Income Instruments:

Invest in instruments like PPF, EPF, and government bonds for assured returns.
Withdrawal Strategy Post-Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Use SWPs in mutual funds for regular income.
Plan withdrawals to meet your monthly needs without depleting the corpus quickly.
Dividends and Interest Income:

Use dividends from mutual funds and interest from fixed income investments.
Ensure a mix of growth and income-generating assets.
Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Annual Review:

Regularly review your investment portfolio.
Make adjustments based on market conditions and life changes.
Rebalance Portfolio:

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Shift from high-risk to low-risk investments as you approach retirement.
Final Insights
You've built a strong financial foundation. With careful planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve your retirement goal comfortably.

Focus on maximizing your current investments in equity, EPF, and gold. Diversify with debt instruments for stability and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Plan for your children's future needs and ensure you have adequate insurance coverage. Regularly review and adjust your investment strategy to stay on track.

With dedication and strategic planning, you can secure a prosperous retirement and enjoy financial freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello sir, I am a 41 year old, have a dependend wife and 10 yr old daughter (5STD). I have a monthly income of 2.20 lakh in hand. Monthly expenses 70k. I have no debts and I am staying in my own flat. I invested 1 lakhs in equity stocks, 15 lakhs in MF lumpsum(Present Value 23 lacs), 11 lakh in FD and 10 lakh in NSC. Till date my PF is 26 lacs. I pay 35,000 SIP monthly (present value 13lacs), pay PPF 1.5 lacs(Present value 6 lacs), pay NPS 1 lac NPS p.a.( Present value 2.5 lacs) and pay SSY 1.5 lacs p.a.( Present value 6 lacs) and PPF for wife 1 lacs p.a (Present value 3lacs) and PPF for daughter 50k p.a.from 2023. Family medical insurance of 10 lacs.. and myself term insurance of 50 lakhs and LIC of 10 lakhs. Also I purchased LIC Child Money back of 10 lacs and SBI smart chap 5 lacs for my daughter education. I want to plan my retirement at the age of 55. How should i plan my retirement 5cr corpus?? Is it enough or shall i invest more??
Ans: Retirement Planning for a 41-Year-Old
Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income: Rs 2.20 lakh
Monthly Expenses: Rs 70,000
Dependents: Wife and a 10-year-old daughter
No Debts: Staying in your own flat
Investments Overview
Equity Stocks: Rs 1 lakh
Mutual Funds (Lump Sum): Rs 15 lakh (Present Value: Rs 23 lakh)
Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 11 lakh
National Savings Certificate (NSC): Rs 10 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 26 lakh
Ongoing Contributions
SIP: Rs 35,000 monthly (Present Value: Rs 13 lakh)
PPF: Rs 1.5 lakh annually (Present Value: Rs 6 lakh)
NPS: Rs 1 lakh annually (Present Value: Rs 2.5 lakh)
SSY: Rs 1.5 lakh annually (Present Value: Rs 6 lakh)
PPF for Wife: Rs 1 lakh annually (Present Value: Rs 3 lakh)
PPF for Daughter: Rs 50,000 annually (since 2023)
Insurance Coverage
Family Medical Insurance: Rs 10 lakh
Term Insurance: Rs 50 lakh
LIC Policies: Rs 20 lakh
Child Money Back: Rs 10 lakh
SBI Smart Champ: Rs 5 lakh
Retirement Goal
Target Corpus: Rs 5 crore by age 55
Investment Strategy
Equity Mutual Funds
Increase SIP Amount: Consider increasing your monthly SIPs. This will boost your equity exposure and long-term returns.

Diversify Investments: Spread your SIPs across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This provides a balanced risk-return profile.

Fixed Income Investments
PPF and SSY: Continue contributions to PPF and SSY. These are tax-free and offer good returns over the long term.

NPS: Keep contributing to NPS. It provides tax benefits and a disciplined approach to retirement savings.

Direct Stocks and Mutual Funds
Evaluate Performance: Regularly review your equity stocks and mutual fund performances. Adjust as necessary to ensure optimal returns.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds: They have the potential to outperform benchmarks. They adapt to market changes, offering better returns than passive index funds.

FD and NSC
Consider Rebalancing: FDs and NSCs are safe but offer lower returns. Gradually shift some funds to higher-yielding debt or balanced funds.
Insurance and Safety Nets
Adequate Coverage: Ensure your family is well-protected. Your current term and medical insurance seem adequate. Review coverage periodically.

Child Education Plans: Evaluate LIC Child Money Back and SBI Smart Champ policies. Ensure they align with your daughter's education needs.

Regular vs Direct Mutual Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds: Lack professional guidance and are time-consuming.

Benefits of Regular Funds: Managed by Certified Financial Planners. Easier to manage and track.

Final Insights
Target Corpus: Rs 5 crore seems adequate for a comfortable retirement. However, consider future inflation and lifestyle changes.

Review and Adjust: Regularly review your investments. Adjust based on market conditions and financial goals.

Stay Disciplined: Consistent investments and disciplined savings are key. Stay focused on long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x