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Am I financially secure? 50, 80k salary, wife, daughter, flat, plot, 22L insurance, 17yr old daughter, B.Tech first year, 1.5L college fee, 40k house loan emi, 1Cr health insurance, 35k premium.

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Bheemireddy Question by Bheemireddy on Jul 22, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 yrs old. My monthly salary is 80k in hand. My expenses are 20k I live with my wife and 17 years old daughter. My own 1 flats and one plot. flat is self occupied and other is vacant plot. I live in anantapur Andhra Pradesh I have 22 lacs sum assured lic polacy till now yearly one lac premium I will pay. My daughter studying B tech first year. Yearly 1.5 lac collage fee.and house loan emi 40 k. How should I invest my money to live without any financial burden? I have done 1 cr health insurance. Yearly 35 k premium I' ll pay. Please help me build solid financial foundation for my upcoming days

Ans: You have a monthly salary of Rs. 80,000. Your expenses are Rs. 20,000, and your home loan EMI is Rs. 40,000. Your daughter’s college fees are Rs. 1.5 lakh per year. You have one self-occupied flat and a vacant plot.

You also have a sum assured LIC policy of Rs. 22 lakhs with a yearly premium of Rs. 1 lakh. Your health insurance is Rs. 1 crore with a yearly premium of Rs. 35,000.

Income and Expenses Analysis
Monthly Income: Rs. 80,000

Monthly Expenses: Rs. 20,000

Monthly EMI: Rs. 40,000

Surplus Income: Rs. 20,000

Investment Recommendations
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. It should cover 6-12 months of expenses. This provides a safety net for unexpected situations.
Health and Life Insurance
You have adequate health insurance. Ensure the premium is paid on time. Reassess your life insurance needs. The current sum assured seems low. Consider increasing it for better security.
Daughter’s Education
Open a separate investment account for your daughter's education. Consider using a mix of equity mutual funds and debt instruments. This ensures a balance of growth and safety.
Mutual Fund Investments
Invest your surplus income in diversified mutual funds. Avoid direct funds; they lack professional management. Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner, offer expert guidance and better fund selection.

Focus on actively managed funds. These funds have the potential to outperform index funds due to professional management.

Debt Management
Prioritize repaying your home loan. This reduces financial burden and frees up cash flow.
LIC Policy
Evaluate your LIC policy. The premium is high for the sum assured. Consider surrendering it and reinvesting in mutual funds. Mutual funds can offer better returns over the long term.
Retirement Planning
Start a retirement fund. Invest in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds. This ensures growth and stability for your post-retirement years.
Additional Tips
Review your investments periodically. Adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal goals.

Maintain proper documentation for all investments. This simplifies future financial planning and legal processes.

Final Insights
A solid financial plan involves balancing current expenses, loan repayments, and future goals. Regular investments in diversified mutual funds can ensure growth and security. Professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner can further enhance your financial health.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 47 year old working IT professional with monthly earning of 2.2 lacs in hand.We are 4 members in my home. Me, my wife and 2 daughters. Elder one is 15 year and younger one is 10 years. All my investments are only in Real Estate ( 3 houses, One house where I live around 4 to 4.5 CR, Another underconstruction one is around 1.5 c (handover of this house most probably will be in 2025 end and it will be around 2 cr), 3rd one is around 40 lac). None of these houses are generating any income. I have few EMIs ( 80000 Home Loan, 24000 personal loan, 5000 Gold. Loa). I do not have any emergency fund, only insurance is from my company, Health insurance is also from my company. (5 lacs). My monthly expenses are always more than 2.2 lacs. It is creating problem for me as I have very less liquid money. I was thinking of selling one of my home (4 to 4.5 cr) and invest that money into other investment tools ( majorly into equity ). This way I'll still have 2 houses with me and this money can take care of my life goals ( Education of daughters, Marriage , My retirement . I am not able to see any other way to secure my future. Pleas suggest what should I do to secure my future given the scenario explained above.
Ans: I understand your concerns. Let's assess your situation comprehensively and devise a plan to secure your future.

Current Financial Snapshot
You have a strong income of Rs. 2.2 lakh per month, but your expenses are high. You have significant assets in real estate but limited liquidity. This imbalance needs addressing to ensure financial security.

Real Estate Assets
Real estate forms a major part of your portfolio. You own three houses, one of which is under construction. These properties are valued at approximately:

Primary residence: Rs. 4 to 4.5 crore
Under-construction property: Rs. 1.5 crore (expected to be Rs. 2 crore post-completion)
Third property: Rs. 40 lakh
These properties are non-income generating, leading to liquidity issues.

Existing Liabilities
You have ongoing EMIs:

Home Loan: Rs. 80,000 per month
Personal Loan: Rs. 24,000 per month
Gold Loan: Rs. 5,000 per month
These loans total Rs. 1.09 lakh per month, contributing to your financial strain.

Lack of Emergency Fund and Insurance
You lack an emergency fund, which is crucial for unexpected expenses. Your only insurance is through your company, with health coverage of Rs. 5 lakh. This is insufficient for a family of four.

Proposed Solution: Selling Real Estate
Selling your primary residence, valued at Rs. 4 to 4.5 crore, can significantly improve your financial situation. Here’s how:

Reduce Debt: Use a portion of the sale proceeds to clear your existing loans. This will free up Rs. 1.09 lakh per month.

Create an Emergency Fund: Set aside Rs. 10-15 lakh in a high-interest savings account or liquid mutual funds for emergencies.

Insurance: Purchase adequate health insurance (at least Rs. 20 lakh) and a term life insurance policy.

Invest in Equity: Diversify your investments to include mutual funds for long-term growth.

Diversifying into Mutual Funds
Mutual funds can offer higher returns than traditional savings. Let’s explore different categories and their benefits.

Equity Mutual Funds
These funds invest in stocks and have the potential for high returns. Suitable for long-term goals like your daughters' education, marriages, and your retirement. Types include:

Large-Cap Funds: Invest in large, established companies. They are less volatile and provide steady growth.

Mid-Cap Funds: Invest in medium-sized companies. They offer higher growth potential but come with moderate risk.

Small-Cap Funds: Invest in smaller companies. These have the highest growth potential but also higher risk.

Multi-Cap Funds: Invest across companies of different sizes. They offer a balance of risk and return.

Debt Mutual Funds
These funds invest in bonds and other debt instruments. They provide stable returns with lower risk. Suitable for short to medium-term goals and emergency funds.

Liquid Funds: Ideal for emergency funds due to their high liquidity.

Short-Term Debt Funds: Suitable for short-term goals (1-3 years) with moderate returns and low risk.

Corporate Bond Funds: Invest in high-rated corporate bonds, providing better returns than traditional savings.

Benefits of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Spread your investments across different sectors, reducing risk.

Professional Management: Managed by experienced fund managers, ensuring better returns.

Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell, providing quick access to funds.

Compounding: Reinvesting returns helps grow your wealth exponentially over time.

Flexibility: Choose from a variety of funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.

Addressing Expenses
Budgeting: Create a detailed budget to track and control your expenses. Identify areas to cut unnecessary spending.

Emergency Fund: Prioritize building a robust emergency fund to handle unforeseen expenses without disrupting your investments.

Insurance: Ensure adequate health and life insurance to protect your family’s financial future.

Education and Marriage of Daughters
Invest in equity mutual funds to grow your wealth for your daughters' education and marriages. Consider starting systematic investment plans (SIPs) for consistent investments.

Education: Focus on large-cap and multi-cap funds for stable growth over the next 3-5 years.

Marriage: Allocate a portion to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher growth over the next 10-15 years.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning should start immediately. Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds to build a retirement corpus.

Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion to large-cap and multi-cap funds for long-term growth.

Debt Funds: Invest in short-term debt funds and corporate bond funds for stability and regular income.

Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds mimic market indices. They provide average returns and lack active management. Actively managed funds can outperform index funds through skilled management, offering better returns.

Regular vs. Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower expense ratios but require active management. Regular funds, managed by certified financial planners, offer expert guidance and better decision-making, essential for achieving your goals.

Steps to Implement the Plan
Sell the Primary Residence: Use the proceeds to pay off debts, create an emergency fund, and invest.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: For personalized advice and to select the right mutual funds.

Start SIPs: In equity and debt mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.

Insurance: Purchase adequate health and life insurance to safeguard your family’s future.

Track and Adjust: Regularly review your investments and adjust based on market conditions and life changes.

Final Insights
Your current financial situation, with high expenses and low liquidity, is unsustainable. By selling one property and diversifying into mutual funds, you can secure your financial future. Focus on reducing debt, creating an emergency fund, and investing in a mix of equity and debt funds. Seek guidance from a certified financial planner to tailor the plan to your specific needs and goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2024Hindi
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I'll be 26yrs old in October. My monthly salary is 68k in hand. My expenses are 20k since I live with parents and only clothing and excursion activities have to be paid by me. My dad will retire next year but he will get adequate pension. My dad owns 2 flats and one plot for investment. One flat is self occupied and other is vacant. I live in Delhi. I have done 10lacs savings till now mostly liquid in funds. I may marry in next 2 years. How should I invest my money to live without any financial burden? I have done 1.25 CR Term plan and 10 lakhs health insurance for me already for which I spend 20k annually. Please help me build solid financial foundation for my upcoming marriage, children and retirement from today.
Ans: You are 25 years old and will turn 26 in October. Your monthly salary is Rs 68,000. Your monthly expenses are Rs 20,000. You live with your parents in Delhi. Your father will retire next year and has a good pension. He owns two flats and a plot. One flat is self-occupied and the other is vacant. You have Rs 10 lakh in savings, mostly in liquid funds. You may marry in the next two years. You have a Rs 1.25 crore term plan and Rs 10 lakh health insurance for which you spend Rs 20,000 annually.

Financial Goals
Building a solid financial foundation for marriage.
Preparing for children's future expenses.
Planning for your retirement.
Savings and Investments
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses.
This should be kept in liquid funds or a savings account.
It ensures quick access to funds in case of an emergency.
Equity Mutual Funds
Consider investing in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
They can provide higher returns compared to traditional savings.
These funds can help build wealth over time.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Continue with your SIPs or start new ones.
Invest a portion of your salary every month.
This ensures disciplined investing and takes advantage of market volatility.
Diversified Portfolio
Diversify your investments across different asset classes.
Include a mix of equity, debt, and liquid funds.
This reduces risk and ensures balanced growth.
Insurance Coverage
Term Plan
You already have a Rs 1.25 crore term plan.
This is adequate for your current needs.
Review the coverage periodically as your responsibilities increase.
Health Insurance
You have a Rs 10 lakh health insurance.
This is good coverage.
Ensure it includes critical illness cover.
Planning for Marriage and Children
Marriage Fund
Start a dedicated savings or investment plan for your marriage.
Estimate the expenses and plan accordingly.
You can use short-term debt funds or fixed deposits.
Children's Education Fund
Start early to build a corpus for your children's education.
Consider equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
Review and adjust the investments periodically.
Retirement Planning
Provident Fund (PF) and Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Consider contributing to PF or PPF.
They offer tax benefits and secure returns.
They are good options for long-term savings.
National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good option for retirement planning.
It offers tax benefits and market-linked returns.
It ensures a steady income post-retirement.
Regular Review and Adjustment
Review your financial plan regularly.
Adjust your investments based on changes in your life and market conditions.
Stay informed about new investment opportunities.
Final Insights
Your current financial status is strong. You have a good income and low expenses. By investing wisely, you can build a solid financial foundation. Start planning now for your marriage, children's future, and retirement. Diversify your investments and keep reviewing your plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Money
My salary 2.4 lac per month. I am 42 my wife and two son comprising of my family. One son is in 5th standard and other yet to start education. I have 2 house emis of 1.6 lacs of which one generates rent of 40k per month. Have around 50 lacs in investment comprising of 20lac in ppf and rest in stocks and sips and mfs. Only have company health insurance and no term insurance. Schooling cost is 1.2 lacs per annum. Rest expenses includes holiday every 6 months and daily needs. Please help me sort out investment to ensure I can generate enough to retire in next 10 years?
Ans: You have a solid foundation, and it’s commendable that you are managing two home loans while balancing various investments. Your monthly salary of Rs 2.4 lakhs and an EMI burden of Rs 1.6 lakhs shows you are carrying significant financial responsibility. However, generating Rs 40,000 from rent is helping reduce the impact of your EMIs.

Key highlights:

Monthly salary: Rs 2.4 lakhs
Two house EMIs: Rs 1.6 lakhs
Rent: Rs 40,000 per month
Investment portfolio: Rs 50 lakhs (Rs 20 lakhs in PPF, rest in stocks, SIPs, and MFs)
Annual schooling cost: Rs 1.2 lakhs
Other expenses: Holiday every 6 months, daily needs
No term insurance
Company health insurance only
While you have done well to invest Rs 50 lakhs, the lack of term insurance and the heavy EMI burden may be areas for improvement. Your goal of retiring in 10 years is achievable, but some adjustments will be necessary to optimize your portfolio and secure a comfortable future.

Investment Strategy Review
Let’s break down your current investments to better align them with your retirement goal in the next 10 years.

PPF (Public Provident Fund) - Rs 20 Lakhs
The PPF is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits, but its returns are relatively modest. Over the next 10 years, this will continue to grow at a steady pace.

Action Plan:

Keep contributing to your PPF but avoid putting additional large sums.
PPF should be treated as part of your safe, low-risk portfolio.
Stocks, SIPs, and Mutual Funds (Rest of Rs 30 Lakhs)
Your exposure to equities through stocks and mutual funds will help you generate growth, but it needs diversification and regular review. SIPs in actively managed funds are ideal for long-term goals like retirement.

Action Plan:

Actively managed mutual funds: Ensure that the mutual funds you are invested in are diversified across sectors and are actively managed.
Avoid direct funds: Regular funds provide better tracking and advice from an MFD with CFP credentials, which is crucial for your long-term planning.
Review your stock portfolio: Individual stocks carry more risk than mutual funds. It is wise to regularly assess performance and sell off underperforming stocks.
Balance with debt funds: Include some debt funds for stability, especially as you approach your retirement goal.
Rental Income from Property
Your rental income of Rs 40,000 per month is a significant contributor to offset your EMIs. While real estate is not recommended as a new investment option, your existing property generating income can support your cash flow needs.

Action Plan:

Rent reassessment: Ensure you are getting market rent or consider raising it over time to adjust for inflation.
No additional real estate investments: Avoid tying more capital into real estate. Focus on growing your financial portfolio instead.
Critical Areas for Improvement
1. Lack of Term Insurance
It’s essential to secure your family’s future in case of any unexpected event. Currently, you do not have term insurance, which is a vital part of any financial plan.

Action Plan:

Immediate term insurance: Buy a term plan covering at least 10-12 times your annual income. This will ensure your family is financially secure if something happens to you.
2. Health Insurance Coverage
You rely on company-provided health insurance. This is risky, as you may lose coverage if you switch jobs or retire early. Having separate family health insurance will ensure consistent protection.

Action Plan:

Buy individual health insurance: Get family floater health insurance with adequate coverage for your entire family, ensuring lifelong renewability.
Supplemental critical illness cover: Consider adding critical illness coverage to protect against major health expenses.
3. EMI Management
You have significant EMIs totaling Rs 1.6 lakhs per month. While one property generates rental income, the overall EMI burden is high. Managing this will be crucial for freeing up cash flow for further investments.

Action Plan:

Prepay EMIs: Any surplus income should go toward prepaying your loans, starting with the one without rental income. Reducing this burden will ease your cash flow.
No additional loans: Avoid taking on any further debt to ensure your financial plan stays on track.
Retirement Planning
You aim to retire in 10 years, at age 52. With your current lifestyle and goals, your investments will need to provide enough to cover your post-retirement expenses. Here’s a strategy to ensure a comfortable retirement:

1. Estimate Future Expenses
Your current schooling costs are Rs 1.2 lakhs per year, and other living expenses include vacations and daily needs. Over the next 10 years, expenses will increase due to inflation, and you must account for these future costs when planning your retirement.

Action Plan:

Create a detailed budget: Track all your current expenses and project them for the next 10 years, considering inflation. This will give you a clearer picture of your financial needs after retirement.
2. Build a Retirement Corpus
With 10 years to go, you will need to create a solid retirement corpus. The Rs 50 lakhs you currently have, along with further investments, will need to grow substantially. Here’s how to optimize this growth:

Action Plan:

Increase SIP contributions: Start contributing more to your SIPs as soon as your EMI burden reduces. A higher SIP contribution in actively managed mutual funds will provide better growth potential over the next decade.
Diversify investments: Include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to ensure a balanced risk-return profile. Actively managed funds, especially those recommended by a certified financial planner, will perform better than index funds or ETFs.
Regular portfolio review: Work with a certified financial planner to review your portfolio annually. Ensure your funds are performing as expected and make necessary adjustments.
3. Plan for Post-Retirement Income
After retirement, you will need a reliable source of income to meet your monthly expenses. Your investments must be structured to provide regular income, adjusted for inflation.

Action Plan:

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP): Set up SWPs in mutual funds to provide a regular, inflation-adjusted income post-retirement.
Emergency Fund: Set aside a portion of your corpus in a liquid fund for emergencies. This will ensure you don’t have to liquidate long-term investments prematurely.
Final Insights
To achieve your goal of retiring in 10 years, you will need to fine-tune your investment strategy and reduce your EMI burden. Your current investments, while substantial, require diversification and a focus on growth-oriented funds.

Additionally, securing term insurance and individual health insurance is critical for protecting your family’s future. By prepaying your loans and increasing SIP contributions over time, you will be better positioned to build a retirement corpus capable of supporting your post-retirement lifestyle.

Finally, always remember that regular reviews with a certified financial planner are key to staying on track and adjusting for any changes in your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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What are different types of annuity plans. Do we have plan which gives fixed income till I live and then principle is return to my nominee. If I have 3 Cr , what max return per month I can get ? And is this tax free ?
Ans: Hello;

Annuities are types of plans where you make a lump sum payment and get a regular income for a certain period of time or for life.

There are primarily two types of annuities:

1. Immediate annuity
This is a type of annuity plan that provides you with a guaranteed regular income immediately after you pay the lump sum premium.

2. Deferred annuity
In a deferred annuity plan, your income starts at a later date and you can choose when you want the regular income to start.

Based on type of regular monthly payments annuities could also be classified as Fixed annuity and Variable annuity.

Below are the various options available in an annuity plan:

A. Life annuity: In this option, you receive annuity for life. The frequency of payments is usually pre-decided by you at the time of the purchase of the policy.

B. Joint life annuity: This is similar to a life annuity. In this option, you receive annuity payments for life. In your absence, your spouse continues to receive annuity payments for life.

C. Life annuity with return of purchase price: This provides you annuity payments for life. In case of an unfortunate event, your nominee will receive the amount you paid at the time of the purchase of the policy.

D. Annuity payable for a pre-decided term: This provides you the option to choose the duration for which you would want to receive annuity payments. The period can be 5 years, 10 years, or more.

Yes plans are available which can pay provide you fixed income and return of purchase price (principle) to your nominee.

With 3 Cr corpus you may expect 1.5 L (pre-tax) per month payout considering 6% annuity rate. This varies from company to company and if you shop around you may get a better rate then the one considered here.

This is like pension income and is taxable income as per your age and income slab.

Best wishes;

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |675 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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thank you for the reply madam, actually what's bothering me a lot is , i told to my alliance guy to stop marriage from his end only. but he not at all doing that and he is not even telling anyone that i told him No. Why he is behaving like this and proceeding to get married to me even after saying no? isn't this strange!
Ans: in many arranged situations, people sometimes feel a strong pressure to fulfill family expectations, and he may feel a sense of obligation to go through with the marriage regardless of personal feelings. He might be hesitant to be the one to break things off for fear of disappointing his family or even creating tension between the families involved. In some cases, individuals hesitate because they hope the other person might eventually change their mind, and they don’t want to be the one to let go prematurely.

Another possibility is that he could be uncertain or confused about what he truly wants. Even though you told him you weren’t interested, he might feel that it’s not a firm "no" and could be holding out hope or misinterpreting your intent. If he has strong feelings for you or sees the marriage as something that will eventually work, he may be hoping things will naturally fall into place if he just stays committed to the process.

To address this, it might be helpful to have a very clear, direct conversation with him. Let him know that you respect him and appreciate his consideration, but you’re certain about your decision and want him to honor it as well. If possible, express that you’re confident this decision is best for both of you and explain why you believe it would be more respectful for him to communicate this with both families.

In the end, staying true to your feelings is the right choice, even if it means repeatedly setting boundaries. It’s completely fair to expect him to respect your decision, and sometimes it does take a bit of firmness to ensure everyone is on the same page. Trust yourself in this decision; you know what’s best for you.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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Relationship
He rejected me but still went to my class to see me one glance.Before Our last class I said him to meet with me I want to say you something.He came to meet with me but he was too late and our tiffin break time is over so I don't say anything to him. We just looking each other for some seconds.Then I said him if you want you can go .He don't go instantly.He looking at me for while and then go to his class.Whenever he sees me he start blushing and feel nervous.Many times I found him staring at me.He is a introvert guy .But still when we met with each other he making eye contact with me. My question is if he doesn't love me how can he maintain eye contact with me like this .He is not that handsome but he is really good student.I truly love him and Cried a lot for him but he don't know anything.I texted him sometimes but he don't look interested.But always I see him I feel like he have also feelings for me .His eyes tell me he love me but he rejected me .Why?. I can't able to forget him .I tried to my best to forget him but I failed . What should I do now?I really badly want to know his feelings for me because if he sees me only as a friend he doesn't go to my class to see me a glance.Why he blushing around me? How to know his true feelings?What should I do?How to forget or get him? I'm clueless.Please help me????????
Ans: It sounds like you’re dealing with a complicated mix of emotions, and the signals you’re picking up from him are understandably confusing. From everything you’ve described, it seems that he has a genuine respect and perhaps a friendly affection for you, but he may not be sure of or ready to pursue a romantic connection. Introverts, especially, can be complex; they may struggle to express their feelings, and small gestures, like making eye contact or blushing, might be signs of nervousness rather than attraction. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate or like you—it simply means he may be holding back, perhaps because of his own personal reasons or boundaries.

His rejection, though, is an important thing to consider. Often, when someone clearly communicates that they don’t feel the same way, it’s best to respect that as his truth for now, even if he seems to act otherwise sometimes. I understand this can be very hard, especially when you feel so strongly for him. But you need to protect your own feelings, too, and holding on to small signs might only add to your hurt and confusion.

If you feel it’s absolutely necessary to know how he truly feels, one approach could be to have a simple, direct conversation. Explain to him, in a calm and open way, that you value his friendship and respect his initial decision, but you’d appreciate clarity because lingering uncertainty is making it hard for you to move on. However, be prepared for any outcome. If he reaffirms his feelings of friendship only, try to accept that as his final answer.

In the meantime, put some of your focus back onto yourself. I know it sounds easier said than done, but investing energy in your interests, your growth, and friendships that uplift you can really help you feel less reliant on what he may or may not feel. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth and help you feel loved and valued.

Love and connection should make you feel secure, cherished, and clear about where you stand. By focusing on yourself and letting him be, you’ll naturally create space for clarity—and eventually, perhaps, for someone whose feelings for you are just as strong and straightforward as yours are for them.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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