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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 45 years age and as of now earning 3L per month . My existint commitments are 50k per month towards loans. I am able to put aside 1.5l per month towards savings in RD. I want to make a corpus of 5 crores in next 10 years. How do I start ? Is it really possible . I would be happy. Kindly suggest

Ans: Setting a Path to Achieve Your Financial Goals

At 45, you're at a crucial stage in your financial journey, with a clear goal of building a substantial corpus of 5 crores within the next decade. Let's outline a plan to help you achieve this ambitious target.

Maximizing Your Savings Potential:

With your current income of 3 lakhs per month and existing commitments of 50k towards loans, you're able to save 1.5 lakhs per month. Utilizing these savings efficiently is key to reaching your goal.

Exploring Investment Avenues:

While investing in recurring deposits (RD) is a safe option, its returns may not be sufficient to meet your ambitious target. Considering your goal and time horizon, exploring alternative investment avenues with higher growth potential is imperative.

Embracing Equity for Growth:

Equity investments have historically outperformed other asset classes over the long term. By allocating a portion of your savings to equity mutual funds or stocks, you can harness the power of compounding and potentially achieve higher returns.

Diversifying Your Portfolio:

While equity offers growth potential, it comes with higher volatility. Diversifying your portfolio across asset classes like debt, real estate, and gold can mitigate risk and enhance overall returns. Consider allocating your savings across various investment options to achieve a balanced portfolio.

Systematic Investing for Discipline:

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds allow you to invest regularly, regardless of market fluctuations. By setting up SIPs in a mix of equity and debt funds, you can benefit from rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan:

Regularly review your investment portfolio and track your progress towards your goal. Adjust your investment strategy as needed based on changing market conditions, personal circumstances, and progress towards your target.

Realistic Expectations and Patience:

While building a corpus of 5 crores in 10 years is an ambitious goal, it's essential to maintain realistic expectations and exercise patience. Stay focused on your long-term objective and trust the power of consistent saving and strategic investing.

Seeking Professional Guidance:

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to develop a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your specific goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation. A CFP can provide personalized advice and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of investment planning.

In Conclusion:

With careful planning, disciplined saving, and strategic investing, achieving your goal of building a corpus of 5 crores in the next 10 years is indeed possible. Stay committed to your financial plan, and I'm confident you'll reach your target.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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I need to create corpus of 5 crores in 10 years. im currently investigating of 46500 past one year. i have following mutual fund in my portfolio Hdfc sensex index 20k pgim midcap 3k motilal midcap index 3k sbi next 50 index 1k motilal micro index 46 icici prudential technology 1k quant small cap 7k parakpari flexi cap 5k axis small 2k. im private employee and earning of 140000 per month. so please provide suitable answer which created 5cr in 10 years also i have lic of 50k per year,ppf of 50k per year and nps 5k every month. my current age is 34
Ans: Creating a corpus of 5 crores in 10 years is an ambitious goal, but with careful planning and strategic investments, it's achievable. Your current investment portfolio and savings habits provide a solid foundation for reaching this milestone.

Given your age of 34 and the 10-year time horizon, we'll need to focus on a growth-oriented investment strategy while ensuring diversification and risk management.

Let's start by optimizing your mutual fund portfolio. While you have a diversified mix of funds, we may need to make some adjustments to align with your goal. Consider increasing allocations to high-growth potential funds like mid-cap and small-cap funds, which historically have outperformed broader market indices.

Regularly review your portfolio to monitor performance and make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and your evolving financial goals.

Additionally, continue your disciplined approach towards savings. Your LIC, PPF, and NPS contributions provide stability and long-term growth opportunities. Ensure you maximize contributions to these instruments within permissible limits to harness their full potential for wealth accumulation.

Remember to stay patient and committed to your financial plan. Building a significant corpus requires time and consistency. As a Certified Financial Planner, I'm here to guide you every step of the way and help you navigate through market fluctuations and uncertainties.

With determination and strategic financial planning, you can achieve your goal of creating a 5 crore corpus in 10 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

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Dear Guru,I need to create corpus of 5 crores in 10 years. im currently investigating of 46500 past one year. i have following mutual fund in my portfolio Hdfc sensex index 20k pgim midcap 3k motilal midcap index 3k sbi next 50 index 1k motilal micro index 46 icici prudential technology 1k quant small cap 7k parakpari flexi cap 5k axis small 2k. im private employee and earning of 140000 per month. so please provide suitable answer which created 5cr in 10 years also i have lic of 50k per year,ppf of 50k per year and nps 5k every month. my current age is 34
Ans: Your goal of accumulating a 5 crore corpus in 10 years is ambitious yet achievable with a strategic investment approach. Let's devise a tailored plan considering your current investments, income, and financial commitments.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your existing mutual fund portfolio comprises various funds, including index funds, mid-cap funds, sectoral funds, and small-cap funds. While diversified, it's essential to ensure alignment with your long-term goals and risk tolerance.

Designing Your Investment Strategy
Optimize Mutual Fund Portfolio:

Review your mutual fund holdings to ensure alignment with your financial objectives. Consider consolidating or realigning your portfolio to focus on funds with strong growth potential and consistent performance.
While index funds offer cost-effective exposure to market indices, actively managed funds may provide higher potential returns, especially in volatile market conditions. Consider maintaining a balanced mix of both.
Systematic Investment Planning (SIP):

Continue your SIPs in mutual funds, adjusting allocations based on your risk appetite and return expectations. Focus on funds with a proven track record of outperformance and robust fundamentals.
Increase your SIP contributions gradually over time, leveraging the power of compounding to accelerate wealth accumulation.
Opt for Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS):

ELSS funds offer dual benefits of tax savings under Section 80C and potential for wealth creation. Consider allocating a portion of your SIP investments to ELSS funds to optimize tax efficiency.
Supplement with Traditional Investments:

Your existing investments in LIC, PPF, and NPS provide a foundation of stability and tax benefits. Continue to maximize contributions to these instruments to diversify your portfolio and mitigate risk.
Regular Review and Rebalancing:

Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure alignment with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market dynamics. Rebalance your portfolio as needed to capitalize on emerging opportunities and mitigate risks.
Conclusion
By adopting a holistic approach to investing and optimizing your portfolio across various asset classes, you can achieve your goal of building a 5 crore corpus in 10 years. Stay disciplined, stay diversified, and stay focused on your long-term objectives to realize financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Money
Hello sir, I am 38 years old.. I have a daughter of 9 year..my net monthly income is 1.27 lacs after payment of rs. 25000 of my home loan emi. I have a home loan of outstanding 26 lacs. I have around 45 lacs in mutual fund, 15 lacs in bank FD, 28 lacs in life insurance policies and 16 lacs in daughter's sukanya samriddhi account. I want to create a corpus of rs. 10 cr in next 10 years.. please guide
Ans: Creating a corpus of Rs. 10 crores in the next 10 years is an ambitious but achievable goal. Let's analyze your current financial situation and create a detailed plan to help you reach your objective.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income and Expenses:

Monthly Income: Rs. 1.27 lakh
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 25,000
Net Monthly Income after EMI: Rs. 1.02 lakh
Existing Investments:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 45 lakh
Fixed Deposits: Rs. 15 lakh
Life Insurance Policies: Rs. 28 lakh
Sukanya Samriddhi Account: Rs. 16 lakh
Home Loan Outstanding:

Rs. 26 lakh
Strategy to Achieve Rs. 10 Crores in 10 Years
Step 1: Enhance Savings and Investments
Evaluate Monthly Savings:

With a net income of Rs. 1.02 lakh after EMI, you should aim to save and invest a significant portion.
Assume you save 50% of this amount, which is Rs. 51,000 per month.
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

SIPs are a disciplined way to invest regularly in mutual funds.
Allocate Rs. 51,000 per month towards SIPs in a diversified portfolio of equity mutual funds.
Increase your SIP amount by 10% each year to account for salary increments and inflation.
Step 2: Diversify Your Investments
Mutual Funds:

Continue investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap equity mutual funds.
Consider adding sector-specific funds for more growth opportunities.
Hybrid Funds:

Allocate a portion to aggressive hybrid funds for a balanced risk-return profile.
These funds invest in both equity and debt instruments.
Debt Funds:

Maintain some investments in debt mutual funds for stability and lower risk.
Debt funds can provide liquidity and reduce overall portfolio volatility.
Step 3: Optimize Existing Investments
Fixed Deposits:

FDs offer low returns. Gradually move funds from FDs to higher-yielding investments.
Keep a small portion in FDs for emergency funds.
Life Insurance Policies:

Evaluate the performance and returns of your life insurance policies.
If they are not performing well, consider surrendering or partially withdrawing and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Sukanya Samriddhi Account:

Continue contributing to your daughter’s Sukanya Samriddhi Account.
It offers tax benefits and good returns, securing her future.
Step 4: Accelerate Debt Repayment
Home Loan:

Consider prepaying your home loan with surplus funds to reduce interest burden.
Aim to be debt-free sooner, freeing up more money for investments.
Step 5: Plan for Tax Efficiency
Tax-Advantaged Investments:

Utilize tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) for long-term capital gains and tax deductions.
Maximize contributions to PF and PPF for tax benefits and stable returns.
Step 6: Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio
Regular Reviews:

Conduct quarterly reviews of your investment portfolio.
Rebalance to maintain desired asset allocation and capture market opportunities.
Stay Informed:

Keep yourself updated with market trends and financial news.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for professional guidance.
Understanding Mutual Funds: Categories, Advantages, and Risks
Equity Mutual Funds:

Invest in stocks, offering high returns but with higher risk.
Ideal for long-term goals like retirement and wealth creation.
Categories: Large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, sector-specific.
Hybrid Mutual Funds:

Mix of equity and debt investments, balancing risk and return.
Suitable for moderate risk-takers.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Invest in fixed-income securities, offering stability and lower risk.
Suitable for conservative investors and short-term goals.
Advantages of Mutual Funds:

Diversification reduces risk by investing in various securities.
Professional management by experienced fund managers.
Liquidity allows easy buying and selling of units.
SIPs promote disciplined investing and cost averaging.
Tax benefits through ELSS funds.
Risks of Mutual Funds:

Market risk affects equity funds due to market fluctuations.
Credit risk in debt funds if issuers default.
Interest rate risk impacts debt funds with changing rates.
Liquidity risk in some funds, making it hard to sell holdings without losses.
Power of Compounding
Compounding is earning returns on both initial principal and accumulated returns.
Longer investment duration amplifies the compounding effect.
Start early and stay invested for maximum benefits.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct Funds:

Bought directly from fund houses, saving on distributor commissions.
Lower expense ratios but lack guidance from professionals.
Disadvantages:

No expert advice, leading to suboptimal choices.
Time-consuming and requires significant effort.
Risk of mismanagement without professional guidance.
Benefits of Regular Funds through MFD with CFP Credential:

Expert advice and professional management.
Customized portfolios based on goals and risk tolerance.
Ongoing support and regular portfolio reviews.
Peace of mind knowing investments are managed by professionals.
Action Plan to Achieve Rs. 10 Crore Goal
Enhance Monthly Savings:

Save and invest Rs. 51,000 per month in diversified mutual funds.
Increase SIPs by 10% annually.
Diversify Investments:

Continue with equity mutual funds, adding sector-specific and hybrid funds.
Maintain some debt funds for stability.
Optimize Existing Investments:

Move funds from FDs to higher-yielding investments.
Evaluate and possibly reinvest insurance policies in mutual funds.
Accelerate Debt Repayment:

Prepay home loan to reduce interest burden and free up funds.
Plan for Tax Efficiency:

Utilize ELSS, PF, and PPF for tax benefits and stable returns.
Regularly Review and Rebalance Portfolio:

Conduct quarterly reviews and rebalance as needed.
Stay informed about market trends and seek professional advice.
Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs. 10 crores in 10 years requires disciplined saving, smart investing, and regular portfolio management. Diversify your investments, optimize existing assets, and aim for tax efficiency. Prepay your home loan to reduce debt burden and free up funds for investments. Stay committed to your SIPs, increase them annually, and regularly review your portfolio. Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice and peace of mind. By following this comprehensive plan, you can achieve your financial goal and secure your family's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Money
Hi Myself Ramesh, I earn around 1.6 Lac monthly aged 43. Don't have own house and have 2 children 15 and 7. I have 20k SIP in MF, 25 K in 3 various ULIP Plan. Pls suggest how do I create corpus of 5 Crore by age of 60. Consider income increase around 6% for 10 years.
Ans: Hi Ramesh, your goal to create a corpus of Rs. 5 crores by the age of 60 is ambitious yet achievable with proper planning. At 43 years old, earning Rs. 1.6 lakhs per month, you already have a good foundation. Your monthly investments include Rs. 20,000 in SIPs and Rs. 25,000 in ULIP plans. You also expect your income to increase by around 6% annually for the next 10 years, which is a positive factor.

Setting Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund that covers at least 6-12 months of expenses. This should be kept in a highly liquid form like a savings account or short-term fixed deposit.

Insurance Coverage: Adequate life and health insurance are crucial to protect your family from unforeseen events. Ensure you have a term insurance plan and a comprehensive health insurance policy.

Long-Term Goals
Children’s Education: Planning for your children's education expenses is critical. Your elder child will need funds for higher education soon, and the younger one in the next 10 years.

Retirement Corpus: The primary goal is to build a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crores by the age of 60.

Evaluating Current Investments
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
You are investing Rs. 20,000 per month in mutual funds through SIPs. This is a good strategy for long-term wealth creation. SIPs benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding.

Unit Linked Insurance Plans (ULIPs)
You have Rs. 25,000 per month in various ULIPs. While ULIPs offer both insurance and investment, they often come with higher charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds. It might be beneficial to surrender these ULIPs and redirect the funds to more efficient investment vehicles like mutual funds.

Creating an Optimized Investment Plan
Redirecting ULIP Investments
Consider surrendering your ULIPs and investing the proceeds in mutual funds. Mutual funds typically offer better returns and flexibility compared to ULIPs. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you transition smoothly.

Increasing SIP Contributions
With an expected income increase of 6% annually, you can gradually increase your SIP contributions. Start by increasing your SIP amount each year to align with your income growth. This disciplined approach will help in achieving your long-term goals.

Diversification of Investments
Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds should form the core of your investment portfolio. They offer high growth potential over the long term. Given your time horizon of 17 years, a significant portion of your investments can be in equity funds.

Debt Mutual Funds
Including debt mutual funds in your portfolio can provide stability and reduce overall risk. Debt funds invest in fixed-income securities and are less volatile compared to equity funds.

Gold Investments
A small allocation to gold can act as a hedge against inflation and market volatility. You can consider gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds for this purpose.

International Mutual Funds
Diversifying your investments internationally can provide exposure to global markets and reduce country-specific risks. International mutual funds can be a good addition to your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Strategy
Implementing a SIP strategy for different types of mutual funds can help in building a diversified portfolio. Allocate a higher percentage to equity funds and the rest to debt and gold funds. Regularly review and adjust your SIP contributions to align with your financial goals.

Planning for Children’s Education
Estimating Education Costs
Estimate the future costs of your children’s education, considering inflation. Education expenses can be significant, and planning early will ensure you have sufficient funds when needed.

Education Savings Plan
Create a dedicated education savings plan. You can use a combination of equity and debt mutual funds to build this corpus. Start a separate SIP specifically for your children's education.

Building a Retirement Corpus
Power of Compounding
Starting early and investing regularly allows you to benefit from the power of compounding. Your investments will grow exponentially over time, helping you achieve your retirement goal.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Rebalancing involves adjusting your asset allocation to maintain the desired balance, optimizing returns, and managing risk.

Active Management
Actively managed funds, overseen by a CFP, can potentially deliver higher returns compared to passive index funds. They offer flexibility to respond to market changes and capitalize on opportunities.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can enhance your investment returns. Utilize tax-saving instruments such as Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS) to reduce your taxable income while investing for long-term goals.

Capital Gains Management
Understanding the tax implications of capital gains is essential. Long-term capital gains from equity investments are taxed differently from short-term gains. Plan your investments and withdrawals to minimize tax liability.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
Professional Guidance
A CFP can provide personalized advice, helping you create a comprehensive financial plan. They offer expertise in investment management, tax planning, and retirement strategies, ensuring your financial goals are met.

Regular Monitoring
A CFP regularly monitors your investments, making adjustments based on market conditions and life changes. This proactive approach helps in optimizing returns and managing risks effectively.

Building a Disciplined Investment Approach
Setting Clear Goals
Define clear financial goals with timelines. This provides direction and helps in selecting appropriate investment vehicles to achieve these goals.

Consistent Savings and Investing
Consistently save and invest a significant portion of your income. This discipline is crucial for building wealth over time. Automate your investments to ensure regular contributions.

Financial Education
Continuously educate yourself about personal finance and investments. Staying informed empowers you to make better financial decisions and adapt to changing market conditions.

Final Insights
Ramesh, your goal to accumulate Rs. 5 crores by the age of 60 is ambitious but achievable with a disciplined and strategic approach. Start by setting a strong foundation with an emergency fund and adequate insurance coverage.

Consider surrendering your ULIPs and redirecting the funds to mutual funds. Increase your SIP contributions gradually to align with your income growth. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, gold, and international markets.

Implement a SIP strategy for different types of mutual funds and regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. Effective tax planning and capital gains management can further enhance your returns. Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to create and monitor a comprehensive financial plan.

Your commitment to your financial goals and willingness to adapt your strategy will help you achieve a comfortable and secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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I am talking to a boy for arranged marriage. He said me that come to Bangalore you will have a good career. But he is also asking me if I can leave my job if I have got some responsibility in life to which I said yes. Then I said that I prefer own cooked food over cook cooked food. Then he asked me if I can cook for 2 people to which I said that I will have to look if I can do. He seems to be supportive when he talks on phone. Is he brain washing me, should I say yes or no. Is he a red flag. What should I do.
Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

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Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024
Relationship
Hi, My GF of last 2.5 years gets attracted to men very often and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy a year back and he kissed her once when they were drunk. She said she didn't had time to react and Later they had a talk, she informed me that they chose to be friends, she doesn't seems to in talking terms any more with him. She talks to lot of male friends who she claims are from LGBTQ community which I doubt whether all are or not. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat but she doesn't think getting attracted to multiple men and acting on it as cheating . She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. She is in her early 30s. She had a crush another guy on insta and said she will definitely try him if he wasn't lot younger than her but later said he is her best friend and she is in constant touch. Lately, she says vibe doesn't match and have problem saying I am her BF. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above traits and now stopped talking since few days. She had both mental and medical issues. Can I trust her and will she have any mental issues again?
Ans: While it’s commendable that she is honest about her feelings and gives you the freedom to make your choices, it’s equally important to consider whether her values and actions align with what you need in a partner. Relationships thrive when there’s mutual respect, understanding, and agreement on boundaries. If her actions or mindset make you feel undervalued or emotionally unsafe, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this relationship is truly serving your well-being.

The fact that you’ve tried to move on multiple times suggests that there is a deeper discomfort within you about the dynamics between you two. Trust is not just about fidelity; it’s about emotional safety, reliability, and mutual respect. If her behavior consistently makes you question her commitment or your place in her life, that erosion of trust can become difficult to rebuild.

As for her mental and medical challenges, it’s important to approach those with empathy, but also with a clear understanding that you cannot "fix" or "heal" someone unless they are actively seeking and working toward their own well-being. If she has not addressed her mental health or continues behaviors that affect the relationship without taking responsibility, it can lead to ongoing strain for you. Her mental health challenges are not excuses for harmful behavior, nor should they become reasons for you to sacrifice your own emotional health.

You’ve already shown patience and willingness to work through these challenges, but the repeated cycles of doubt and frustration may be a sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving. Ask yourself if you feel supported, valued, and emotionally safe in this partnership. Relationships should bring out the best in you and your partner, not leave you questioning your worth or constantly trying to accommodate behavior that feels unfair.

Taking a step back, as you’ve done now, can give you the clarity to evaluate what you truly want and need in a relationship. If trust feels irreparably broken or if her behaviors and values are fundamentally misaligned with yours, it may be time to consider whether staying in this relationship is the healthiest choice for you. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries and builds a connection based on mutual trust and understanding.

If you decide to stay, open communication and possibly couples’ therapy could help bridge the gaps. If you choose to move on, trust that this decision is about prioritizing your well-being and finding a relationship that aligns with your values and needs. Either way, your happiness and emotional health should come first.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband is in living relationship with another lady since April in another country. At the same time, he acused me as selfish for doing my PhD in my native country and put me in mental trauma by verbally accusing.Also,he was very clever, he step by step get rid of all the things related to our relationship and took bank all the bank fund in my name.After that he blocked me.I had doubts on his extra marital and asked him 1000 times. But he simply insulted and blocked me from all social media eventually. After finishing my PhD pre submission, when i went to meet him, in his place. I found him, shifted to another apartment. But i somehow, found it and there i came to knew, he is staying with a lady there for past months. I broke down and informed all his friends. Now he is threatening me for signing mutual consent, otherwise he will make false allegations and tore my good name..Already he partially did that. When I talked to his friends, he was crooked enough to tell them, i am a psycho, ademant, career oriented lady. I told him i am ready to give him mutual divorce after once we met in person. I want to ask him why he cheated me.but he is not ready to meet, he is asking me to talk to his advocate. What shall I do now?
Ans: While it’s natural to want answers and closure, sometimes people who betray us in such profound ways refuse to provide the accountability we seek. Closure doesn’t always come from the other person. It can come from recognizing that their actions stem from their own flaws and failings, not because of anything lacking in you. It can come from choosing to let go of the need for explanations and focusing instead on rebuilding your own sense of peace and purpose.

You’ve already demonstrated incredible strength by standing up to him and exposing the truth to his friends. That takes courage. But this is also a time to lean into your inner resilience and ensure you’re supported by professionals who can guide you through the legal and emotional complexities. Speaking with a family lawyer who understands the nuances of your situation will help you feel empowered to navigate his threats and protect your rights. At the same time, connecting with a counselor or therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and begin to heal from this trauma.

It’s okay to grieve the relationship and the betrayal. It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or even numbness at times. These emotions are all part of the process of moving forward. Allow yourself to feel them without judgment, but also remind yourself that this pain is temporary and does not define you. You are more than what has been done to you.

When you feel ready, try to shift your focus away from him and his actions and toward your own well-being and future. You’ve worked so hard on your PhD and have built a life full of potential and possibility. This chapter doesn’t have to define the rest of your story. You are capable of creating a life that is free from manipulation and filled with self-respect, joy, and the kind of peace that comes from living authentically.

Lean on the people who believe in you, who see your value, and who can remind you of your strength when you feel unsure. Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone. Whether it’s through professional guidance or emotional support from trusted loved ones, there are paths forward that will help you rise above this situation. You deserve a life where your worth is honored, your boundaries are respected, and your happiness takes center stage.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |447 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

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