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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Rakesh Question by Rakesh on May 27, 2024Hindi
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I am 40 years old. I have monthly income of 2 lakhs. I have one daughter. She is 9 years old. I have savings of 42 lakhs in mutual fund. 65 lakhs in provident fund at intrest rate of 8.15 percentage. 15 lakhs in ppf and sukanya samridhi yojana. Monthly contribution in provident fund is 36000 and in mutual fund I am having total sip of 93500 out of which 65000 in axis small cap, 25000 in sbi small cap, 2500 in mirrae large and mid cap, 1000 in sbi midcap. I don't have any loan. I want to retire at 55. And want to save for my daughter's future. Kindly guide me.

Ans: You have a sound financial base, and you are working diligently towards your goals. This is commendable. Your savings and investments reflect careful planning. Now, let us refine your strategy to align with your retirement and your daughter’s future needs.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Position
Your current monthly income is Rs 2 lakhs. This provides a stable base for your family's needs and future investments.

You have a diversified portfolio with Rs 42 lakhs in mutual funds, Rs 65 lakhs in provident fund (PF), and Rs 15 lakhs in PPF and Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY).

Your regular contributions include Rs 36,000 monthly to the PF and Rs 93,500 in SIPs. This disciplined saving habit is a significant advantage.

Planning for Retirement at 55
You aim to retire at 55, giving you 15 years to build your retirement corpus.

Considering the rising inflation, it is crucial to ensure your investments grow at a rate higher than inflation. You have Rs 42 lakhs in mutual funds. Small-cap funds, while high-risk, can offer significant growth. However, too much exposure to small-cap funds can be risky, especially as you near retirement.

Balancing Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Your current SIPs include Rs 65,000 in Axis Small Cap, Rs 25,000 in SBI Small Cap, Rs 2,500 in Mirae Large and Mid Cap, and Rs 1,000 in SBI Midcap.

While small-cap funds can offer high returns, they are also volatile. As you approach retirement, consider balancing your portfolio with more stable, diversified funds. Actively managed funds could be a good option here. They are managed by professionals who can make strategic decisions to navigate market volatility, potentially offering better risk-adjusted returns.

Assessing Direct Funds vs Regular Funds
Investing through direct funds means you handle all transactions and decisions. This can be cost-effective but may lack professional guidance.

Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer expert advice and strategic planning. This can be particularly beneficial as you near retirement and need to manage risk carefully.

Provident Fund and PPF Contributions
Your provident fund contributions and its interest rate of 8.15% are solid. The PPF and Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana also offer good returns with tax benefits. These instruments provide stability and security, which are essential as you approach retirement.

Saving for Your Daughter's Future
Your daughter is nine years old. Planning for her education and future expenses is a priority. The Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana is a good start, offering a secure and high-interest savings avenue.

Consider dedicated investments for her higher education, such as child education plans or a diversified mutual fund portfolio. These should be aligned with her education timeline to ensure funds are available when needed.

Diversification and Risk Management
Diversification is crucial to managing risk. While your mutual funds are heavily invested in small-cap funds, consider adding more large-cap or multi-cap funds to your portfolio. These funds are less volatile and can provide stability.

Actively managed funds can offer strategic adjustments based on market conditions, helping mitigate risks associated with market volatility.

Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. Ensure you have 6-12 months' worth of expenses in a liquid, easily accessible account. This provides a safety net in case of unexpected events.

Monitoring and Reviewing Investments
Regularly reviewing your investments is crucial. Monitor their performance and rebalance your portfolio as needed. This ensures your investments remain aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Conclusion
Your disciplined saving and diversified investments are commendable. To optimize your strategy:

Balance your mutual fund portfolio with less volatile, actively managed funds.
Consider the benefits of regular funds managed by a CFP.
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund.
Regularly review and adjust your investments.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir, I am 33 years old now and earning of 3.5Lper month and can save up to 2L/month. I have 6L in nps and of 2L and no other savings or mutual funds yet. My daughter is 2yr old. I am planning to have own house with 2/3 cr and children education for mbbs cost around 2/3 cr And retirement 2L / month. Can you help me to achieve this goals.
Ans: Your proactive approach to financial planning at 33 years old, coupled with your robust savings potential, lays a solid foundation for achieving your ambitious goals. Let's embark on a journey to design a comprehensive financial plan that encompasses home ownership, education for your daughter, and a comfortable retirement.

Understanding Your Aspirations and Responsibilities:
Before delving into specific strategies, it's crucial to understand your aspirations for the future and the financial responsibilities you'll encounter along the way.

Crafting a Financial Blueprint:
We'll adopt a holistic approach to address your diverse financial objectives, including:

Home Ownership: Achieving your dream of owning a house valued at 2/3 crores requires diligent savings and strategic investment.

Education Planning: Providing for your daughter's education, especially for a professional course like MBBS, necessitates prudent planning and disciplined investment.

Retirement Security: Securing a retirement corpus that can sustain your desired lifestyle, with an income of 2 lakhs per month, calls for careful long-term planning.

Leveraging Investment Vehicles:
To realize your financial goals, we'll explore a combination of investment avenues tailored to your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Equity Investments: Equities offer the potential for long-term growth and wealth accumulation, making them suitable for achieving ambitious goals like home ownership and retirement security.

Debt Instruments: Debt investments provide stability and income generation, serving as a valuable component of your portfolio to fund short-to-medium-term goals like education expenses.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): SIPs in mutual funds offer a disciplined approach to investing, allowing you to systematically allocate funds towards your financial objectives.

Mitigating Risks and Maximizing Returns:
While pursuing your financial aspirations, it's essential to remain mindful of potential risks and adopt risk mitigation strategies.

Diversification: Diversifying your investment portfolio across different asset classes and sectors helps mitigate risk and optimize returns.

Regular Review: Periodic review of your financial plan ensures alignment with your evolving goals and market dynamics, enabling timely adjustments as needed.

Commitment to Financial Growth:
As we embark on this journey together, rest assured that I'm committed to guiding you every step of the way. Your proactive approach and dedication to securing your family's future are commendable and will undoubtedly lead to financial success.

Conclusion: Empowering Your Financial Journey
In conclusion, by crafting a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your aspirations and responsibilities, we lay the groundwork for achieving your long-term goals. With prudent investment strategies and disciplined savings habits, your vision of home ownership, education for your daughter, and a secure retirement is well within reach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 42 single mother. I have 12 year old daughter. My current saving is 16L in mutual and I am contributing 50K every month to this. 3 L in stocks. I monthly salary is 1.5L and earnjng 30K from other source. My monthly expense is 70 to 90K. I am living in rented apartment. My other saving is arround 6L in FD, 3 L in equity based policy, 28L in PPF. I want to retire by 55. My other goals are I need 50L for my daughter's education in 6 years. I need money for down-payment for house too. Please help me in planning
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Situation
You are a 42-year-old single mother with a 12-year-old daughter. Your current financial status includes:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 16 lakhs (with a monthly contribution of Rs. 50,000)
Stocks: Rs. 3 lakhs
Monthly Salary: Rs. 1.5 lakhs
Other Income: Rs. 30,000 per month
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 70,000 to Rs. 90,000
Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 6 lakhs
Equity-Based Policy: Rs. 3 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 28 lakhs
Your financial goals are:

Saving Rs. 50 lakhs for your daughter’s education in 6 years.
Saving for a down payment for a house.
Retiring by 55.
Saving for Your Daughter’s Education
You need Rs. 50 lakhs in 6 years for your daughter's education. Here's a plan:

Mutual Funds: Continue your monthly investment of Rs. 50,000. These funds offer higher returns over the long term.

FD and PPF: Utilize some of your FD and PPF savings to ensure you reach the target. PPF will mature and provide a lump sum amount.

Equity-Based Policy: Review the policy’s performance. Consider shifting to mutual funds if returns are not satisfactory.

Saving for a Down Payment on a House
You need to save for a down payment on a house. Here’s how you can manage:

Monthly Savings: Allocate a portion of your Rs. 50,000 monthly savings to a dedicated fund for the down payment.

Debt Mutual Funds: Invest in debt mutual funds for stability and moderate returns. They are less volatile and suitable for short-term goals.

PPF Maturity: Use a portion of your PPF when it matures for the down payment.

Planning for Retirement by Age 55
You want to retire by age 55. This gives you 13 years to build a retirement corpus. Here’s a plan:

Diversify Investments: Continue investing in mutual funds for growth. Allocate a portion to balanced and debt funds for stability.

NPS (National Pension System): Consider starting an NPS account. It provides tax benefits and helps in building a retirement corpus.

Equity Exposure: Maintain a healthy equity exposure through mutual funds. Equity provides higher returns over the long term.

Asset Allocation and Diversification
To achieve your goals, a diversified portfolio is crucial. Here is a suggested asset allocation:

Equity (including Mutual Funds): 50%
Debt (including FDs and Debt Funds): 30%
PPF and EPF: 20%
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers who aim to outperform the market. Here are some benefits:

Professional Expertise: Fund managers use their expertise to select stocks, aiming for higher returns.

Flexibility: Actively managed funds can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem attractive due to lower expense ratios. However, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers several advantages:

Expert Guidance: A CFP provides personalized advice based on your financial goals.

Regular Monitoring: They monitor your investments and make adjustments as needed.

Peace of Mind: Having a professional manage your investments reduces the stress of decision-making.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Market conditions change, and your portfolio should adapt. A CFP can help with this:

Performance Review: Check the performance of your funds annually.

Rebalancing: Adjust your portfolio to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Final Insights
To achieve your financial goals, create a diversified portfolio. Continue investing in mutual funds and maintain your PPF contributions. Use a portion of your FD and PPF for your daughter's education and down payment for a house. Consider NPS for retirement savings. Regularly review your investments and make necessary adjustments. With disciplined investing, you can secure your daughter's education, your retirement, and save for a house down payment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7100 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir I am 46 year old. I have wife and 2 kids . Daughter is going for study at abroad, son is in 9 th . Following is my investment and loan . Home loan 25 L remaining emi 24 K , Car loan 3 L remaining emi 8 K. Investment 77 L FD , 18 L mutual fund ( 50 K per month) , epf 76 L , ppf 30 L, other gold/ shares 4 L and 3.4 L NSC post office. I earn 2 L per month and my wife 55 K . We require for daughter eduction 7 L per annum for next 6 years and son education after 4 year may be 7 L for 4 years. We want retirement at 55 with 1.5 L per month please suggest how to achieve this
Ans: You have a strong financial foundation. Your income, combined with your wife’s, is Rs. 2.55 lakh per month. You have a diversified investment portfolio, including fixed deposits, mutual funds, EPF, PPF, gold, shares, and NSC. Your loan obligations are Rs. 25 lakh on your home loan and Rs. 3 lakh on your car loan, with EMIs of Rs. 24,000 and Rs. 8,000, respectively.

Your daughter's education costs will be Rs. 7 lakh annually for the next six years. Your son's education will require Rs. 7 lakh annually starting in four years for a period of four years. Additionally, you plan to retire at 55, with a desired monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh.

Financial Goals
1. Funding Education Expenses

Your immediate priority is securing funds for your children's education. For your daughter, you need Rs. 42 lakh over six years. For your son, you need Rs. 28 lakh starting in four years. These goals are crucial and require a robust plan.

2. Retirement Planning

You wish to retire at 55, with a target of Rs. 1.5 lakh per month. With nine years to retirement, it's essential to align your investments to ensure this target is met.

3. Loan Repayment

Paying off your home and car loans will free up cash flow, which can be redirected to other investments.

Strategic Financial Planning
1. Optimizing Loan Repayment

Home Loan: You have Rs. 25 lakh remaining on your home loan. With an EMI of Rs. 24,000, the remaining tenure is likely long. Consider prepaying a portion of this loan. Prepayment will reduce the tenure and save interest. You could use a part of your FD to do this. This action will free up Rs. 24,000 per month in the future.

Car Loan: The outstanding amount is Rs. 3 lakh with an EMI of Rs. 8,000. Given the smaller loan size, it’s advisable to pay this off early. You could use your savings or FD for this. This will free up Rs. 8,000 per month.

2. Investment Strategy for Education

Daughter’s Education: Rs. 7 lakh per annum for six years will need Rs. 42 lakh. You already have Rs. 77 lakh in FD, which is a safe option. However, considering inflation, it’s wise to ensure that these funds are not only secure but also growing. You might want to move some of these funds into a balanced mutual fund or a debt mutual fund. This will offer a better return than FD while still being relatively low-risk.

Son’s Education: Rs. 7 lakh per annum for four years, starting in four years, will require Rs. 28 lakh. You have time to grow this fund. Continue your current SIPs and consider increasing the amount. Mid-cap and small-cap funds can provide higher returns, but they come with higher risk. Since you have time, a mix of equity mutual funds is advisable.

3. Retirement Planning

Current Savings: Your EPF (Rs. 76 lakh) and PPF (Rs. 30 lakh) are solid foundations. Continue contributing to them. Additionally, your Rs. 18 lakh in mutual funds should continue growing. With Rs. 50,000 per month in SIPs, your portfolio will grow significantly over the next nine years.

Diversifying Investments: To achieve Rs. 1.5 lakh per month in retirement, you’ll need a combination of safe and growth-oriented investments. Continue with mutual funds but consider adding debt funds and conservative hybrid funds as you near retirement. This will protect your corpus from market volatility.

4. Building a Contingency Fund

Emergency Savings: With your current income, you should set aside at least six months' worth of expenses in a liquid fund. This would be about Rs. 18 lakh. Your FDs could partially serve this purpose, but you might also consider a separate contingency fund.
5. Health and Insurance Coverage

Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for your entire family. Medical costs can be a significant burden, especially in retirement. If your current coverage is below Rs. 10-20 lakh, consider enhancing it.

Life Insurance: Review your life insurance needs. Your outstanding loans and future obligations mean you should have sufficient coverage. A term plan is the most cost-effective way to secure this.

Detailed Financial Recommendations
1. Education Funding

Daughter’s Education: Allocate Rs. 7 lakh per annum from your FD. Invest the remaining FD in a balanced mutual fund to keep pace with inflation. This approach balances safety and growth.

Son’s Education: Use your mutual fund SIPs to build this corpus. Consider increasing your SIPs if possible, to ensure you have Rs. 28 lakh by the time he needs it.

2. Prepay Loans

Home Loan: Consider prepaying Rs. 10-15 lakh from your FD. This will significantly reduce your loan tenure and interest burden.

Car Loan: Clear this loan as soon as possible. Use Rs. 3 lakh from your savings or FD to eliminate this EMI. This will increase your monthly cash flow.

3. Retirement Investments

Continue EPF and PPF Contributions: These are your safest investments. Ensure you’re maxing out your PPF contributions annually.

Increase Equity Exposure: Continue with your Rs. 50,000 SIPs. As you get closer to retirement, shift part of your portfolio to less volatile funds. This could include conservative hybrid funds or large-cap funds.

Explore Debt Funds: As you near retirement, consider moving a portion of your mutual fund corpus into debt funds. These provide stability and regular income, which aligns with your retirement goals.

4. Emergency Fund and Insurance

Create a Contingency Fund: Set aside Rs. 18 lakh for emergencies. This fund should be easily accessible, like in a liquid mutual fund.

Review Health Insurance: Ensure your family’s health insurance is adequate. Top up if necessary to cover Rs. 10-20 lakh per person.

Secure Life Insurance: Ensure you have a term insurance plan that covers your outstanding loans and future financial responsibilities.

Final Insights
You have a solid foundation, but optimizing your investments and managing your loans will help you achieve your financial goals. Prioritize your children's education, as these are immediate and significant expenses. Simultaneously, work towards clearing your loans to free up cash flow. Your retirement goal of Rs. 1.5 lakh per month is achievable with disciplined investing and strategic planning. Regularly review your financial plan, adjust as necessary, and keep your goals in focus.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |680 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello I want to retire . My current liabilities are my daughter education MBBS Rs 85000/ per month, Son education 11000 per month,, home loan 33000/- per month , House hold 50,000 per month , Term Insurance , Mutual fund , health insurance RS 1L per month . Come to savings. I have 87 L FD, 35 L PPF, 5 L shared, 76 L EPF, post office other scenes 6 L, Mutual fund 19 L . I have my own house worth of 2 Cr . My net take home salary is 2.09 L per month , wife take home 52K per month . This saving is ok to generate cash for above mentioned expenses. I want to retire as soon as possible. Please guide
Ans: Hello;

Let us summarize your monthly expenses:
1. Kid1 Education: 85 K
2. Kid2 Education: 11 K
3. Home loan EMI: 33 K
4. Household Exp: 50 K
5. Insurance & MF: 100 K
Grand TOTAL: 279 K(2.79 L) per month

Now let us summarize your monthly earnings:

1. Self Salary: 209 K
2. Spouse Salary: 52 K

Grand TOTAL: 261 K (2.61L per month)

Now let's summarize your savings:
1. FDs: 87 L
2. PPF: 35 L
3. Stocks: 5 L
4. EPF: 76 L
5. POS: 6 L
6. MFs: 19 L

Grand TOTAL: 228L (2.28 Cr)

If you liquidate this sum from current investments and buy an immediate annuity from an insurance company for your corpus of 2.28 Cr, assuming annuity rate of 6% you may expect a monthly payout of 1.14 L(pre-tax).

Adding this to your spouse income it gives us monthly earnings of 1.66 L

Expenses- New Earnings=
-279+166=-113 K(1.13 L shortfall per month)

I understand your situation. Unhealthy work life makes one hellbent to stop working at some point.

Take a break. Seek alternate job opportunity but hang in there because your responsibilities regarding loan liability and children's education are ongoing.

Focus on prepaying the home loan as early as possible.

The incremental savings may be transferred to regular MF investments for 5-7 yr horizon so as to enhance your retirement corpus.

Happy Investing!!

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates.

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi sir, I am 40 yr old having work-expereince of 10 yrs behind me in ITes, customer support & service, banking and sales & marketing (product). My life till now can easily be converted into a bollywood biopic having its own twist & turns, roadblocks, struggles laughter, joy and sorrow. Change is the only constant in life and that exactly applies in my case. Although it has been a satisfactorily life till now given that I know myself and how I lead my life. Whenever I start to read something new I feel like going deep into it. I am also easily attracted to novel things & concepts. I usually get into procastination mode whenever I come across something entirely new and start to imagine myself trying it out in realilty.Why does this happens? Why can't I focus on one single thing at a time and see it to completion? I know in todays world generalists are looked down upon and it is an era of specialists, experts and professionals having good domain knowledge of their area of work. It is always better to be an expert than be a jack of all trades (which seems very filmy nowadays where a hero is expected to do everything on his own). Lately I have developed an avid interest in technology and i keep on reading various articles & books on IT and technology. I am also pursuing an online cyber security course from Great Learning Institute, Bangalore. I want to know am I going in the correct direction in life or is it something else I should do which ensures more satisfaction in life? Lately, I have become bit irriiated as well due to the above reasons as I tend to do multiple things at a time (multitasking). My parents are also fed up of me now. My mother keeps nagging me all day.I dont know how to really deal with her, as she always finds perfection in everything. That becomes too much at times. Does this happens in every household? Should I go out and travel to some place in order to temporarily escape from all this? Kindly suggest me some course of action. Pls answer. Thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You will be distracted and keep trying new things until you actually figure out what you want for yourself in life.
- How does you life seem like a few years down the line?
- What must you do NOW to actually get to where you want in life?

And to answer these questions, you first need to identify a strong, solid goal in life. Either you work with a mentor or your boss or a friend or an expert who can help you identify your goal and purpose. That might help you stay the course and actually streamline your thoughts, your job and your daily life.
Travel used for learning is great but using it to escape only worsens things...So, work on Goal-Setting!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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